I awoke with a loud groan. I hate waking up early... especially to go to school.

I duck under the covers and let the warmth wash over me. I stretched out and my back legs touched something.

I smiled. Twilight was still in the bed, good. Maybe I can get some cuddling in before I have to leave.

I then rolled over and pushed my face into her chest. I began to nuzzle her as I put a leg over her.

A smile formed on my face... but then it began to fade. I rubbed my face against her chest again and leaned back a few inches.

Something feels... off.

I reached up and pulled the covers down. I then looked up at Twilight.... only to let out a terrified scream.

I unfolded my wings and jumped back and propelled myself away from the terror.

*Crash* *Thud*

I landed on the floor, slumped up against the wall, and the bedside lamp next to me. I clenched my chest, breathing heavily, eyes glued to the bed.

Mr. Bleak sat up and stretched out his forelegs. He then looked at me, a smile on his face, "Good morning Lance, how did you sleep?"

I just stared at the bed, a terrified look on my face, "W-Wha... why are you in my bed?! How did you get in my house?! Why?!"

He rolled out of bed and stood. He then strolled around the bed and smiled down at me, "I have my ways."

I shook my head, "That didn't answer any of my questions."

He chuckled and spread his weird... creepy wings, "Sure it did."

I stood and looked up at him, "You are one creepy, weird, strange, and down right scary guy, you know that?"

He bowed, "I do my best."

This guy is... I don't even know, "Now tell me, why was you in my bed?"

He grinned, "Because I knew you would be creeped out."

"... I hate you."

He chuckled, "If you say so Lance."

I sighed. Wait... did he just say Lance?! "How do you know..."

He smiled, "That is best not answered." He chuckled, "But I will say this: I know all about you. How you're not a pony, I know that you're married and have a kid, I know you're not a young colt, and I even know all about your life on earth."

My mouth hung open, "W-Wha... how?"

He smiled and tapped his head.

[He... How did he do that?]
{What did he do?}
<He copied our memories to his.... How?>

"You went through my memories. Didn't you?"

He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "You could say that."

"But how?" I questioned, very confused.

He ran his hoof across his lips, "My secret." he then pulled out a pocket watch attached to a chain, "Five minutes till school starts."

My eyes widened, "Shit! I'm going to be late!"

He chuckled, "No you're not. In five seconds, you'll appear there."

I cocked my head, "How do you know tha..."

A sudden flash filled the room and I soon found myself looking at the school building.

Who teleported me here?

"Yo, Lance, over here." I heard a very relaxed voice call out.

Greg, I should have known.

I turned to look at Greg, and my mouth hung open.

He was standing there looking... decent. He was dressed in a blue business suit with a black tie. His normally straight hair was combed up and held in place by what looked to be hair gel. He had on a pair of square glasses also. To say the least, he looked like a modeled citizen... that's never going to happen.

He levitated a brown brief case on his right side. On his left, he had a large duffelbag.

This can't be good.

I walked over and chuckled, "What's with the get up?"

He smiled and adjusted his glasses, "Well, you see my dear lad, I'm going to be a good stallion today and teach you children about life and business.

Oh God! He chooses this day to sober up! Fuck me!

I sighed, "You just ruined the day for me."

He smiled, "I'm sorry my boy. Now come, lets get in there and show them what its like to work in business."

I exhaled deeply and walked into the school.

Upon entering the class room, I could see that everypony had taken a seat. All ready to begin class. Miss Cherilee stood at the front of the class, preparing her lesson plan for the day.

I walked down the rolls of seats to my seat. Halfway there, a hoof shots out and trips me.

I fall face first onto the ground. Behind me, I hear two ponies snickering. I turn to see Butch and Hardhoof giving each other a high hoof. (High five?)

I pushed myself off the ground and made my way to my seat. I climbed into it and relaxed, watching the front of the class.

Miss Cherilee walked in front of everypony and smiled, "Good morning class."

"Good morning Miss Cherilee." The whole class said at the same kind.

"Good morning Miss teacher woman!" I said, a little late. Shit... my timing is way off.

She sighed, "Another day, another headache." She then looked up and smiled, "Today class, Stripes's Uncle will be talking to you all about business."

They all groaned and glared at me.

Fuck you Greg....

She pointed to the door, "You may come in Mr. Haze."

Greg trotted in, a smile on his face. He sat the brief case and duffelbag down and walked up to Miss Cherilee.

"Nice to meet you." He said, holding out a hoof.

She smiled and shook his hoof, "Its nice to meet you too Mr. Haze."

Greg turned to the class and smiled, "Who wants to learn about the wonderful world of business?"

The class groaned in response.

Greg only smiled and turned to Miss Cherilee, "You can go now. I'm going to teach them for a while."

She shook her head, "No, I must stay in here. Don't mind me, I'll be right here if you need me."

Greg frowned, "That ruins my plans.... AHA! I can fix this."

His horn began to glow brightly. He pointed it at her and shot out a small beam.

It hit her and she collapsed.

The class gasped at this.

He smiled and looked around, "Don't worry, she's only asleep." He then cracked his neck.

He grabbed his glasses and threw them across the room, where they smashed against the wall. he then messed up his hair till it fell back to its normal place. Next, he tore the suit off his body and tossed it aside, "Now, who wants to have some fun!"

All the ponies looked unsure about this.

I smiled in the background, I should have known he was going to do this.

Greg pulled out a blunt and puffed on it, "Lets get this party started!"

He opened the brief case and pull out some papers. "First off, I'm going to teach you about the pony body."

Wait, WHAT!

He put up a picture, "This was drawn by my good friend David."

The entire class gasped at what they saw. I only facehoofed.

The picture being shown was of... how do I say this? Break, can you explain this one?

[Holy shit! Princess Celestia eating out Princess Luna! Fucking wingboner's all around!]

Yeah, it was that.

Greg pointed to Celestia, "You see class. When two bitches really like each other, they fuck. In this picture, Celestia is eating Luna's pussy."

This... oh God! Greg why!

He puffed on his joint again and pulled out another picture.

Really?!

The next one was off Rarity and Big Macintosh doing... Break?

[Fuck man! His dick is huge! I don't know how her ass is even holding it all!]

I heard a small gasp at the front of the class, "That's my sister!"

Greg smiled, "It sure is Sweetie Belle. Look at how Big Mac is pentrating her tight ass. So damn hot!"

Greg, your traumatizing those poor ponies.

Sweetie Belle looked horrified.

Greg laughed and pulled out another, "This is my favorite. Its of Twilight and her husband, Lance."

My eyes widened, "OH FUCK NO!"

I started to jump up, but his horn flared to life and held me in place.

He put it up, causing the class to gasp and a few to turn to me.

Break, explain the picture please.

[Damn... We look good when we're mounting that ass of hers.]

One of the ponies held up a hoof. When I looked to see who it was, I recognized him. Pipsqueak.

"Mr. Haze, I don't really understand this."

Greg smiled, "Do you want an example?"

The whole classed nodded, not knowing what he was up to.

He proceeded to pull out a real looking doll of himself and propped it up on the desk. "This, is what I like to call a fur real doll. And oh boy, is it awesome. Let's begin."

What followed was a lot of things you don't learn in your normal sex ed class room. Halfway through it, Greg seemed to forget what he was doing and started crying into the ear of the doll, which set an awkward feeling over the room.

When he finally composed himself and realized where he was, he stopped and jumped down. "Eh... that's enough for today on that. Any questions?"

Everypony shook their head furiously.

He smiled, "Onto the next subject then!"

"OH PLEASE CELESTIA! NO MORE!" I heard one of them say.

Greg chuckled and opened the duffel bag, "Next up is a even funner topic."

Oh God! What can he mean? Must stop him...

Can't move, stupid magic!

He pulled out a few objects and a... oh no... a bong.

He put it all on the desk and smiled to the class, "Who wants to learn about weed?"

I raised my hoof.

{BREAK!}
[I must know the ways of the weed!]

Greg smiled, "Good."

"... And that's why you don't stick it in your ass." Greg said as he finished up his explanation.

I sighed, I didn't want to know that.

< Neither did I...>
[I DID!]

He picked up the bong, "Who wants to be the first one high in your class?"

I give up... do want you want Greg.

He looked at one of the ponies in the front, "Well now, you look like you'd enjoy it."

"Wait... I... meep." I heard one stutter.

He laughed and stepped forward.

The doors suddenly burst open, "YOU BROKE A PINKIE PROMISE!" I heard a demonic Pinkie Pie yell.

Greg's eyes widened, "Wait, Pie, I didn't break it! I swear!"

She glared at the doll, which was still propped up, "YES YOU DID!" She screamed out as she galloped towards him.

He back up, "No wait!"

She jumped and tackled him, and somehow keep going till they broke through a window. There was a thud and a loud scream, followed by silence.

"And that's why you don't break a Pinkie Promise."

All heads snapped to the door as Mr. Bleak walked in, a large smile on his face.

How did he... what the... I give up!

He picked the doll up and sat it in a box, "Nopony says one word what happened here today, got that?"

We all nodded.

He smiled, "Good, now, you all know my rules, right?"

A few of us nodded, but a few shook their heads.

He looked overjoyed. "No talking, no eating, no getting out of your seat, and do not touch my ruler."

He pulled out a cookie, "Now, who wants a cookie?"

Oh no, not this trick!

[Let's see who the unlucky bitch is today.]

A fat colt a few rolls away from me stood, "I do!"

Oh God! Chubby gonna get hit!

Mr. Bleak smiled a toothy smile, "Take it."

The poor colt ran forward, his skin bouncing with every step.

He then grabbed the cookie and crammed it in his mouth.

*Smack* *Sinking sound*

What the... the ruler just sank into his fat!

[Whoa! Tubby got protection!]

The ruler continued to sink deeper, then stopped.

The colt looked down and began to say something. But suddenly, his body shot backwards like a bullet. I mean, one second he's there, then hes stuck in the wall.

[HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was freaking funny! Do it again!]
<That wasn't very nice.>

Mr. Bleak smiled, "Anypony else?"

We all shook our heads. Hopefully they won't fall for anymore of his tricks.

*Smack*

I held my cheek, "All I did was sneeze!"

*Smack*

"HAHAHA! Take that!" Blitz said happily.

*Smack* *Smack*

He held both sides of his cheeks, "WHY DID YOU DO IT TWICE!"

Mr. Bleak smiled, "You laughed and talked, that's two things. Also..."

*Smack*

I pointed and stifled a laugh.

*Smack*

Damn it!

Food... must eat food! Where is Fawn, I must have my food now!

I stumbled out the door, looking around. I luckily saw her on the same bench from yesterday.

I galloped over... only to trip and slide across the ground, eating dirt and grass all the way. I stood and spit out all the nasty dirt, grass, and... I really hope that's chocolate.

I sat down across from Fawn and smiled, "How you doing today Fawn?"

She looked up and smiled, "Good. Want some food?"

I nodded, "Oh yeah, you know it! I'm starving! Mr. Bleak just tempted me so much by dangling that cupcake in my face."

She chuckled and gave me the same kind of food from the other day. I gulped down my food in twenty seconds flat. Not the usual ten seconds flat, because... *Clears throat* that's a rip off of Rainbow Dash.

Once I was done, I looked up to see her looking at me. She eeped and looked away.

Fuck you you freaking eyes! My eyes really do scare everypony.

[...Idiot.]
{What?}
[Nothing.]

I chuckled, "You okay?"

She nodded, "Yep, never better."

I shrugged, "Okay good."

Her eyes widened as she looked past me.

I turned to see Mr. Bleak trotting towards me, a cake on his head.

He stopped next to me and smiled, "Here, I brought you a cake." He placed it in front of me.

I eyed it, "Why would you give me a cake?"

He chuckled, "No reason, no reason at all."

I shook my head, "Well, I don't really trust you so..."

*Slam*

I reached up with my hooves and whipped the cake off my face, "Very nice..."

He chuckled, "I know." He then turned and walked away.

Fawn was giggling, "You look cute..." She then covered her mouth.

I chuckled, "Thanks, I guess cake brings out my eyes."

She then laughed, and I soon followed.

I sat back and looked around. I looked towards the forest and something caught my eye.

There was something standing there. It looked like a pony. It had a orange mane and a forest green coat. I looked closer and saw what looked like...

"Stripes?" Yawn said behind me.

I turned and smiled, "One second."

I turned back and frowned. The pony was gone.

Who was that?

*RIINNGG*

Fawn jumped up, "Come on Stripes, we should get back to class before Mr. Bleak comes up with an excuse to hit us."

I nodded, "Yeah, we should really hurry."

We both galloped towards the school building. Time for more boring class. Damn it, I hate this!