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Episode 9:Date Night.

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I walked through the narrow corridors of the hotel as i ran my hand against the smooth wall paper that covered the walls.

I continued to walk, combing my hand that wasn't running against the wall through my hair.It was indeed dark, and the dark was my ally, it was my friend. I could blend with it, I heard talking a bit of the ways ahead of me. there was also a green door with the Number 73 painted in gold paint ahead of me. I continued to walk, not making a single noise but the small rustling of my hand running against the wall. Every 10 steps, there were two bumps in the wall paper, which made a “Thump Thump” noise, almost like the sound of a heartbeat. My hand hit another bump as i got closer to the door. The voices stopped, there was a deafening silence. I continued walking but i pulled my hand away from the wall, and stopped running my hand through my hair and continued walking toward the door. I finally reached my destination, the green door, with the number 73 on it, why was i going toward this door? i don't really know, it was calling out to me, like it was wanting me to see who was inside.

I reached out to the door handle, every inch made my fingers tingle a little, and my mind race more. When i had a grip on it, i was doubting that i really wanted to turn the handle, what would be behind the door that i HAD to see, WHY WOULD A DOOR BE CALLING OUT TO ME. I violently twisted the handle and threw the door open, to reveal two ponies, and they were the ponies i least expected to see.

“Hello Max” Celestia said as she began walking toward me.

I started backing up but hit a wall where the door originally was. “Why the fuck are you here?” i asked as i crouched against the wall and put my arms over my head, hoping she would be gone when i opened my eyes. I removed my arms and looked up, to see Celestia looming over me, and Luna in the back of the room, just staring at me intently, silently judging me.

“Because your brain is in need of repair.” she said in a weird way, that kinda sounded out of character for her.

I looked back at her, and she looked at me. I don’t think there is any way i can get out of this.

Besides i need to be in good shape for my date with pinkie pie.

“Ugh” i said as i let my arms hang limp next to my body. I looked up at the ceiling and rolled my eyes. “My body is ready” i said as i let my body go limp.

I heard a bit of a giggle, then a warmness rushed over my body, “What the fuck?” i said as i looked down at my body which was now covered in an orange light. “What is this?” i said as i looked up at Celestia and raised an eyebrow. She looked down at me with a smile, and laughed a little. “I'm just repairing your bodies mental functions, you may feel some slight discomfort in the process.” she said as she closed her eyes and continued the spell. she gave a disgusted look, then opened her eyes to look me straight in the eyes.

“Max, i'm so sorry” she said before i burning feeling began to grow in my head.

“GRAAAHH” I yelled as i grabbed my head and writhed in pain. I began to see the universe around me crumble into nothing but light and dark, i saw pain, i saw suffering, i saw happiness, i saw sadness. “I CAN SEE EVERYTHING!” I yelled as i look at celestia, who looks aged, and old. “WHY!?” I Ask as i reach out to her, but aren't able to reach her, her skin starts to deteriorate, and her blood starts seeping through the tissue that is now revealed. the tissue starts rotting and Celestia is screaming, oh the screaming. I hear in my ear “It has to get worse before it can get better.” as i watch celestia turn to dust.

There is nothing left in this room now, Luna is dead, her ashes lie upon the floor, as if she

spontaneously aged. I closed my eyes, but that didn't change anything. I began seeing blood drip down the inside of my eyelids. I felt as it began with an o filled my vision, until all i could see was crimson.

***

I opened my eyes to see the roof of the library. “What the fuck just happened?” i asked no-one in particular.

I turned my head to the left to see Sparks staring at me, her ears down as if she heard something she didn’t want to hear.

I look over to her and raise an eyebrow.

“What's wrong?” i ask as i flip my body so that I’m facing sparks.

She looked at me like she was concerned beyond belief.

“You were screaming for help, and when i tried to get near you, you shoved me away.”

I looked down at the ground, and threw my legs over the couch i had slept on.

“Uh…” i paused.

I shrugged and said “Must have been a nightmare.”

I hopped to my feet and spun on my heel to face the door. “Off to the-”I stopped walking and talking when my memory interrupted me. I spun on my heel once again, and headed towards the stairs. “I have a date today, TO THE SHOWERS!” i said as i pointed to the stairs and ran with my finger still in the air.

I walked up the stairs to find a hallway, contrary to what i thought was up here. I just thought it was a one way route to the bedroom, but apparently i was wrong. I threw my hands in the air and yelled “WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BATHROOM?”

Sparks answered with “Third door on your left.” so i walked left, and eventually lost count of the doors because of the pretty wall paper. I stopped at what im pretty sure to be the third door on my left, and reached out for the knob. There was something peculiar about this door though, as if it were calling out to me, giving me purpose, and understanding. “Nah, its just a door” i said to no one in particular. i walked back a door, because obviously fate had other plans for me, and my counting was wrong.

I walked into the bathroom and saw a tub the size of a jacuzzi, “Holy shit on a cracker daddy is about to have some fun” i said to myself as i stripped down to where i was wearing nothing.

About 2 hours into my bath, Sparks came into the bathroom with a white towel in her magical grip, i mean damn, hasn't anyone around here heard of a mans privacy?

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?” i yelled as i covered myself with my hands

Twilights cheeks turned a shade of red that could only be compared to a tomato. “i was just checking to see if you were OK” she said as she slowly backed out of the room and closed the door behind her with her magic.

“Max, I’m so sorry.” she said from behind the wooden door.

“Its, ok, it happens to the best of us” i said as i stood up from my surprisingly still hot bath. “Hay Sparks, why does the water stay hot for so fucking long?” i ask as i step out of the large bathtub.

“The water is enchanted to stay warm, because spike likes to take 7 hour bubble baths, and he usually takes all of the hot water up when he does, so i just enchanted the water.” she responded sounded annoyed.

I pulled a “Not Bad” face as i started drying myself off with the white towel twilight had come in with.

I heard some shuffling behind the door before Sparks asked a really weird question.

“Are you nervous about the date?” she asked, sounding somewhat hesitant.

i raised an eyebrow “Why do you want to know?”

“Because, i know for a fact that you have never gone on a date with a pony before, or even spent time with a pony as crazy as Pinkie Pie” she said.

“ I gotta say Sparks, I’m kinda offended, I’ve spent enough time with Pinkie, to know that i may have feelings for her. This date will tell if i really do or not, as i have not really had any alone time with her. If this Date goes well, and knowing my luck, its a 50/50 chance, i will probably tell her about these feelings, and find the best way to express them, which is making her as happy as i can.” I finally finish drying my hair, which was now back at its original dirty blonde, instead of the deep shade of grey the incident made it into. “And yes, you're right, i have never dated a pony before, hell, i barely dated humans back where i was from, but there isn't any going back.” I wrapped the towel firmly around my waist and dried my hands off on them, after all, shit feels weird after my skin gets wet. “ and even if my people, well, i wouldn't really call them my people anymore, but even if the people i used to associate myself with, frowned upon even the thought of having feelings toward a pony, or any other creature that isn’t human, i would still do this.” i walked toward the door and grabbed the handle. “This is not about some sort of romance that NEEDS to happen, this is about closure, and if that closure happens to end in romance, than so be it.” i finished by opened the door to see a very embarrassed Sparks.

“I didn't mean to upset you” she said as her ears fell to the sides of her head.

I got on my knees, to make sure none of myself was exposed, and i could get to her eye level. I looked straight at the point above her nose so it looked like i was making eye contact, ugh, eye contact, the most useless thing since handshakes.

“You didn't upset me Sparks, i mean, i was a tiny bit aggravated at one point, but now that ive got the full point across, i think we've reached an impasse on the subject.” i say as i stand straight up again.

Twilights ears perk up again, as i begin walking down the narrow hallway, passing a door to my left, then a door to my right, then another door to my left, than a door to my right, and then stairs to my left- WAIT WHAT

My thinking was interrupted by me tripping over the ridiculously small handrails that bordered the end of the hall way.

I’ve been falling a lot lately, haven't I?

That thought went through my head as my ass hit the floor softly. Well, that wasn’t what i thought would happen at all.

I looked around to see that i was slightly hovering above the ground.

“Sparks, are you lifting me?” i ask as i look up to the direction where she was behind me

I saw her hanging half off of the balcony, her horn glowing furiously.

“YEP” she managed to say through her teeth

“You can drop me now, i think I’ll be ok” i say as i prepare to hit the ground with a not so hard thump.

And just as fast as i slowed, my body quickly accelerated, making a hard impact with the ground. I also heard sparks hit the ground, it could have been like a magical tug o’ war match, where she was pulling my weight, and when she let go, she was flung backward by the sudden acceleration.

I Laid on the floor and looked at the ceiling, my towel still firmly around my waist.“You alright up there?” I asked sparks, getting a “I’m OK” I return.

30 Minutes passed, cleaning up the mess we made, when I realized that holy shit I’m not wearing any clothes.

“Sparks” I said to get the magenta mares attention.

“Yes Max?” she asked in response.

“Where are my clothes?” I asked as I sat on the couch.

Twilights ears dropped

Oh shit, this can’t be good.

“I sent spike over to rarities to fix them up, so you can look good tonight.” she said with a small nervous laugh.

I raised an eyebrow, and asked her “Who the fuck is Rarity?”

I Heard sparks start walking down the stairs. “What do you mean, shes the one who made you the clothes she’s fixing up.

“Well fuck, i don't remember meeting her, maybe it was the other guy, uhh, That Storm guy, you know, when he was in my motherfucking body?” i said as i stood up, fastening my towel along the way.

“Oh, thats right” Sparks said as she reached the bottom of the stairs and turned towards me.

“Well, i guess its time for me to meet the ponies” i said as i started walking toward the door of the library.

“You're going to go to rarities Home, only wearing a towel?” she asked me as she followed me.

“What, you got a problem with my modesty?” i asked as i grasped the door handle. “Its not like every pony in town is naked or anything” i added as i turned the knob and flung the door open.

As i began walking in a random direction i hope to be Rarity’s house, because i've never been to this “Rarity’s” House before.

“Max, you don't know where Rarity’s house is, where are you going?” Sparks asked from behind me.

I pointed up “I have no fucking idea!” i said enthusiastically as i continued to walk in a random direction.

“But Max, Rarity’s Boutique is this way” Sparks said, sounding annoyed.

I Spun on my Heel, now, might i remind you, Spinning on your heel on solid ground, barefoot, is never a great idea. I winced in pain as i started walking in the direction that Sparks told me to.

After about, maybe 30 minutes of walking, I finally heard Sparks calling out my name.

“Max, You can't just walk into here store!” she yelled as she caught up to me. “And why Not?” i asked as i hopped up the stairs, making sure my towel was tightened enough.

I pulled open the door, and walked in,Hearing a bell ring, followed by immediately getting punched in the face by the cold air.

“Fuck it's cold in here.” i expressed as i started shivering. I heard Sparks walk in. I Heard a voice in the back of the shop, which look like some sort of dress shop by the looks of it, call out some obscure rhyme or some shit. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique.”

“WHY IS IT SO COLD IN HERE?!” i yelled as i continued to rub my hands together and shiver my ass off.

I heard some shuffling in the back and then a pony i swear was made out of fucking marshmallows. “Oh, Firestorm, i thought you went back to your own world, and why are you only wearing a towel?” she asked me as she raised an eyebrow., well, not me, but me in general. “I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, and i need my clothes back” I said as i started patting my foot on the ground impatiently. “Oh, you're not Firestorm anymore, are you?” she said as she started walking toward me. “Nope, I'm as Max as you can get” i said as i got down on my knees, Might as well introduce myself properly when i can. I Sighed “Even though i'm not fond of meeting new ponies, i have a feeling that i'm going to be meeting more than one new ponies today, Hi, My Name is Max.” I Held out my hand and gave a small grin. “Well, at least i know you have proper manners” she said as she held out her hoof cautiously.

“I Am Rarity, It is a pleasure to finally meet you” she said as we shook Hands/Hooves. “Yea, i guess i do have some manners, now that i'm not that clinically insane anymore.” i said as i gave a toothy smile. She brought her hoof back, and turned around to walk to the place she was before. I stood up, turned around to see sparks with her mouth agape, her jaw hanging. “What's got you surprised?” i ask as i give a small wink and turned back around so i could stand up. As i stood up straight, i heard Sparks say “You Haven't used any foul language in 3 sentences” she said as i started walking to where Rarity went “So, Rarity, do you have my clothes?” I asked as i walked into a slightly messy room. Rarity was carrying a piece of fabric in her magical grasp as she looked at me, giving me a “I’m sorry” look.

Rarity walked up to me, dropping the things she had in her magical grip and looked me in the eyes. “I’m sorry, but the clothes you were wearing could not be recovered” she said as she gave me a “Yes really” look. I swiped the air, and said “Nah, thats ok, that outfit didn't go with my natural hair color.” i said as i ran my hair through my long hair “Could you maybe make me something different?” i ask as i raise an eyebrow. I lick my lips, damn they get really fucking dry sometimes. “I Mean, i am going on a date tonight, i gotta look my best” i say as i give another small grin.

Her Pupils shrink as she opened her mouth to speak, but i held up a finger. “ah-ah” i said as i squatted. “My date is with pinkie pie, i don't want to have to explain myself again” i said as i stood up again and let her speak. “ I was just going to ask what you wanted me to make” she said as she gave me a “Really?” look. I started walking in a circle, until i finally thought of what to tell her make. “AH HAH!” i yell as i jump in the air causing my towel to fall off, “OH FUCK!” i yell as rarity’s jaw just drops. i pick the towel back up and wrap it around my waist. “You didn't see anything!” i yell as i keep adjusting my towel. She blushed furiously “I Had no idea THAT is why you wore clothes.” she said as she gave a small smile. “Yes, we don't have any sort of defence mechanism to protect us from Ponies, or the weather.” i said as i felt my cheeks heat up. “Don't be so embarrassed darling, you have nothing to worry about” she said with a wink. What the fuck was that wink supposed to be? “Ok, now, i need some sort of drawing utensil” i said as i started walking in circles again, this is sort of therapeutic for me, it helps me vent stress. A piece of paper and some Crayons floats in front of me “Here you go Darling” she says as i grab them out of her magical grip. “Its not much, but it should suffice for now” she finished with a small smile, and then i swear i heard a fucking squee. I look down at the crayons, on the box it says CrayPonla. What the fuck, that sounds horrible, and should not exist, but they are still crayons.”Ok, I’ll deal will this for now.” i said as i walked out of the room and sat down at a table. I lay my paper down, and start sketching what i want Rarity to Make for me.

In no time at all, i start sketching out a rough version of The 10th Doctors Blue Suit, and separate from that i draw a Tie i would like to wear to the date, i gotta look spiffy. The tie has celestia’s Cutie Mark in the Middle, after all, gotta keep up that equestrian pride, plus i absolutely love the design of her cutie mark. I Also drew the design of a brown trenchcoat, with a blue cashmere interior, and pockets on the inside.

When i was done, I stood up, and made sure to tighten my towel was tight, we don't want another incident. I found out that Sparks was watching me draw the entire time.

“Max, i'm impressed” she said as she followed me into Rarity’s room of messy, she kept telling me how impressive it was, and said how artistic i was.

When we reached rarities room, i gave her the sketches. “Oh, i can do this, but it will take me quite some time, maybe 4 hours if i work as fast as i can.” she said as she pinned the sketches to a small board on the wall. “So what should i do until you're done?” i ask as i shuffle my feet at the ground and fasten my towel. “Well darling, you're free to hang around here, but since you're going on a date today, i definitely recommend going to the spa, it will make you even better looking that you already are” she said as she gave me a wink. Again, what the fuck?

I walked out of Carousel Boutique and started walking in the direction that rarity told me to, which was relatively close to where the Boutique is. I kept walking until i eventually reached somewhere i could maybe call a spa, I walked into the door to find the building fucking empty.

I walked up to the desk, and rang the bell.. Silence. I Rang the bell furiously, getting nothing but silence once more. I hopped over the desk to find that the glass door behind it had been fogged over. I let out the essential “What the fuck?” as i pushed it open to find 3 ponies sort of, together in a hot tub. “What the fuck is going on here?” i say, scaring all 3 of the ponies. One of them is orange with a brown mane, the other two are blue with a pink mane, and pink with a blue mane.This just got from awkward to your mom walking in on you pleasuring yourself. “OH, I am so sorry, we will be right with you, if you would just wait at the front desk” the Blue pony with the pink Mane said.

I slowly backed the fuck out of there, and hopped back over the desk, to wait for the two ponies i assume who worked here to come out.

I waited maybe 3 minutes before all 3 ponies came out of a door that was to the left of the front desk. One of them, the orange pony with a brown mane who looked suspiciously like firestorm, look disappointed, and a tiny bit annoyed.

I walked over to him, and he instantly had a smile on his face. “Hello Max!” he said as I approached him, he obviously knew me, but this was impossible, I've never talked to this pony in my life.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Do I know you?” i ask as i raise an eyebrow. “Why yes, you do, we met a few days ago.” he said as his smile died down a little bit.

Oh shit, Firestorm must have met him when he was in my body. “I'm sorry, I don't remember you.” I said as i rubbed the back of my head. I exhaled and kneeled down, “Allow me to introduce myself” i said as I held out a hand “Again” I said as I gave a slick grin. He looked at me confused, but i'm pretty sure he got the point of me reintroducing myself.

A half-smile grew on his face, and he snickered a bit. “Hi, I'm Firestorm.” he said as he held out his hoof. I grabbed his hoof and shook it, waiting at least five seconds before letting go.

“Well, it was nice meeting you again, but i'm kinda in the need to relax a little” i say as i crack my back.

“Likewise” he says as he starts to walk through the front door of the spa. I turned around to see two mares with nervous smiles on their faces. I walk up to both of them, with a smile on my face. “Listen, I don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors, alls i ask is that you keep it to yourselves.” i say while i make obscure hand motions to match my mood and facial expressions. this obviously gave them a lot of relief, because i saw that they were tense earlier, and now their more relaxed, with smiles on their faces. The pink spa pony turned to the blur spa pony and gave her a nod, then the blue spa pony gave her a nod back.The pink spa pony looked straight at me and said “Would you like a complimentary massage, on the house”  she said with a wink. ‘Well fuck, can't refuse free services’ i thought to myself as i raised an eyebrow and said. “I would absolutely love that right now” in the most serious tone i could muster.

“AH FUCK THAT FEELS GOOD!” i yell as the pony i now know as lotus blossom cracked my back with a swift motion of the hooves. she had just finished the last of the complimentary spa treatments. I was face down, and i was loving every moment of it, even the slightly awkward parts where i would get a contact boner. i felt Lotus step off of my back and her heard her say “Aloe, should we give him the ‘Special Treatment’” she said, putting emphasis on the “Special Treatment”. I heard nothing but silence. I was surprised when i felt Aloe of Lotus start to flip me over, fuck, maybe i was lighter than I originally thought. when i was flipped over, i saw Lotus standing over one side of me and Aloe standing over me. Oh shit, i know those looks, the looks the two mares hovering above me wear. They were going to try to have sex with me.

Fuck.

Aloe jumped on top of me, and Lotus was trying to tear my towel off, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, gotta find a way out. I Felt Lotus finally get my towel loose.FUCK. I try to grab it back. “DONT FUCKIN-” my words were inturrupted by Aloe putting her hoof in my mouth, what the fuck is with ponies putting their hooves in my mouths? it kinda tasted soft, and like lotion. Not that i know how lotion tastes like or anything. I threw Aloe off of me and threw my legs over the massage table. Aloe tried to jump back onto me, but i deflected her with my left arm and yelled “STRANGER DANGER!”

I Jump off of the table, grabbing the towel from Lotus’ mouth. I backed up toward the door. I grabbed my heart, that burning is back, “why now?” I say as i hit a wall. Fuck, no way out. the burning got worse, fuck this burns, I grabbed my chest, and closed my eyes as hard as i could, and i heard something that would sound like a flashbang going off...without the bang.

I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in the corner of what looked like Rarities workroom. “Oh Dear.” I heard to my left. I looked to my left to see Rarity, her pupils were completely dilated. Another bright flash and i was in a different place, which happened to be in front of Twilights bed, she was reading a book. “Help” I said as i reached out to her, but had to grab my chest, i could feel my heartbeat racing faster and faster by the second.I seemed to be in a room, there were ponies standing around one particular pony, what the fuck. It was pinkie pie,and she was in a wedding dress, and some other ponies were standing around her. “How do i look?” Pinkie pie asked one of the ponies. “You look great, but i'm sure he will love how you look no matter what you dress in” one of the ponies said. “Fuck, its sunset, where the fuck have I been?” I say to myself, obviously getting the attention of all the ponies in the room. My heartbeat began to increase again, I put the towel down on the floor, wait, was I standing? yes, i am standing, and i'm obviously having some sort of heart attack.

I Dropped to my knees, and then fell to the ground completely, allowing my body to go limp. The pain was now becoming unbearable. there was another flash, and i was in what looked like Celestia’s room, but looked a tiny bit…different. I looked around, and surely, it was Celestia’s room “FUCK!” i yelled as i felt my heartbeat start to increase. I looked down at my chest, and sure enough, my chest was glowing fucking blue. “Max, what are you-” Celestia’s voice came out of nowhere, but stopped as soon as she came into view. “Oh hi Celestia” i said as i got on my hands and knees. “Max, what is happening to you?” she asked, sounding worried. “I don’t know Cele, but i'm pretty sure i'm havin- GRAA!” I got out before a burning pain shot through my chest as the glow intensified.

Black, Nothing but black.

Gotta get to the date. Can't let Pinkie down.

Next thing i knew i woke up in the Library, “Shit” i said as i let out a heavy breath. I Look down, and to my surprise, i'm wearing the suit i drew for rarity. I let out a mandatory “What the fuck?” as i sat up and moved my arms around, the suit was practically part of my skin, it was so damn comfortable. “Max, you're OK” i heard from behind me. I turned around to see sparks, she looked slightly worried, but i wouldn't put her past that. “Yea, im pretty good” i say as i brush off some dirt from my back. “You appeared in the Princesses Private Quarters, she said you were having some sort of heart attack” Sparks looked pretty worried, yet curious. “Oh yea, that” i said as i got to my feet.

“That was just some shit i had to deal with” I said as i started walking toward the door, grabbing what looked like the trench coat i had also drawn to be like the Tenth Doctors. “Max, you just had a major heart attack, where are you going?” Sparks yells at me.

I Look back before opening the door. “I have a Pinkie to see” I said before opening the door walking out, and closing it behind me.

I started walking, and fixed my Overcoat, i need to look nice for Pinkie. I run my hands through my hair, “Fuck i need a haircut” i say to myself as i approach Sugar cube corner. damn the library was close to sugarcube corner. I approached the door of the building, my heart starting to beat faster. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I used my breathing tactic to calm down, fuck, why didn't i think of this in the first place?

I opened the door, and walked inside, and looked around, whilst shuffling my feet. I looked down at the floor, waiting for pinkie to come down the stairs ahead of me. I'm so fucking nervous, i've never been on a fucking date before, i don't know how to proceed with this shit. I wiped the sweat off my eyebrows. I heard hoof steps in front of me, I hesitated, then, audibly gulped. I look up to see pinkie pie, wearing a dress, Ever heard of the little black dress. Well she had that but it was bright pink with white strips that reminded me of a strawberry candycane made of a dress. Around the edges of closer to her flanks that it covered it just right to be teasing but modest, had little red gum drop looking candies that were about an inch a part from each other. Her mane was still just as puffy as cotton candy but she had a little red lollipop in her mane in the shape of a rose. We walked for quite some time before we arrived at a restaurant, we didn't talk, we dint even glance at each other, there was just....silence.

I have to do it again, i had to break the metaphorical ice.

We approached the Restaurant, which happened to be called Carrot Top's Golden Harvest.

"So..." i say, attempting to start a conversation.

"Yes?" Pinkie asks, looking up at me.

"You look great tonight" i say as i stuff my hands down the surprisingly deep pockets of my Jacket.

"Thanks Max" Pinkie says as she looks away from me and continued walking till we got to the restaurant.

We walked in through the front door, and this time, i didn't jump through the nearest window. and that was a good thing, there is one thing for sure that i know, and that is the fact that jumping out of windows is not preferred on a first date.

We sat down at out tables, and a waiter came over to take our orders.

I decide to break the ice again, this awkward silence needs to stop.

"So, pinkie pie, do you come here much?" i ask, breaking the awkward silence

"Yes, i come here every week, its my favorite restaurant" Pinkie says with a smile.

"Whats the best thing on the menu?" i ask as i pick up the plastic covered menu from the table and start to browse it.

"Oh the hay fries are good, but the daffodil sandwich is my favorite" she said with a chipper tone.

"They all look good" i said , putting the largest amount of sarcasm i could into that one sentence.

"Yea, everything is so good!" she says with a large smile.

This of course made me smile, i felt happy that she was happy.

A pony with slicked back hair approached the table.

"May I take your-" he looked at me, and his eyes grew wide.

"Order, please?" he finished, raising his nose high up into the air.

Fuck no

"Um, first i would like you to treat me like any of your other customers, because that's what we are." i say, crossing my arms sternly.

"As you wish, sir" he says, his nose still raised

"OK Alfred" i said, opening the menu that was lying on the table

"I-" i looked at the menu

"Would like some grilled cheese please" I say, closing the menu.

Pinkie looks into her menu.

"I would like some hay fries please!" Pinkie says with a chipper tone.

the waiter turns around, still keeping his nose up, and walks away.

"What a snob" I say, looking at Pinkie while raising my eyebrow and giving a half smile.

"He wasn't a snob, silly!" she says to me, cocking her head and smiling.

"Oh really now?" I question, my eyebrow raising intensified.

"Yea, he was just doing his job the best he could." She was now frowning a little.

"He could have treated us like other customers, I mean, Come on. He obviously knows who both of us are, and wanted to treat us as if we were better than any of the other-" I started to raise my voice, but was stopped by a white hoof slamming on the table.

"Hello Dear, quite a coincidence to see you here." Rarity frequently said.

I eyed her suspiciously, this doesn't add up.

"Yeeeaaaa, quite the coincidence, eh?" I said, narrowing my eyes. "Would you mind if I joined you?" Rarity asked me, nervously shifting her eyes back and forth.

"Of course you can Rarity!" Pinkie said, pulling in Rarity into a tight hug

I raised my eyebrow harder, this is now the hardest I’ve ever raised my eyebrow, i don't know if i look really intense, or really stupid.

"Are you OK dear, you look as if you're in a bit of pain" Rarity asks, with an odd smile.

I grind my teeth a bit

"Yea, fucking chipper" I say with a toothy smile, not letting my eyebrow rest.

I throw my head back and slam it into the table face first, pretty much breaking every part of my nose. Pinkie and Rarity let out a gasp.

"MAX, ARE YOU OK?!" Rarity and Pinkie yell at the same time.

I pull my head up, feeling the blood go down my nose. Knowing i had never changed facial expressions once, i must have looked like I had gone insane again, but I’m not this time.

"Looks like I've got a tiny nose bleed!" I say, throwing my finger in the air, never letting my eyebrow and the toothy smile wipe from my face. I feel a tear drop down my face.

Pinkie and Rarity have a look of extreme worry on their faces.

"Darling, you look hurt" rarity says, getting out of her seat and walking over to sit next to me.

Pinkie just stayed silent.

"Im fine, really. Its just a small nose bleed." I say, feeling more blood rush down my nose. "Why dont we go to the bathroom and clean you up." she says, taking my hand with her magic.I leave a trail of blood behind me as rarity drags me to the ladies bathroom.

Wait.

What the fuck.

The Ladies bathroom? hehehe.

"Why are we in the room of the ladies?" i ask, feeling a bit woozy.

Damn, a fucking concussion. Would have never guessed.

"Because we need to talk while you clean yourself up." The trippy white unicorn says as she brings me to a sink.

Rarity brought a paper towel up to my face and wiped the blood clean.

"Mind telling me why you did that?" Rarity asks me sternly.

I look at her, a tiny bit woozy.

"Well, first of all, you have no business intervening in my date-"

"Max, you must remember, you were going to ruin said date with an argument." She said, interrupting me.

I thought for a second.

"You might be right Rarity" i say, looking down at my feet.

Rarity brought a new set of paper towels up to my chin and wiped the blood that had dripped down onto it off.

"Of course i'm right darling" Rarity said with a bit of satisfaction in her tone.

"What do I do Rarity, i have to admit, this is the first date ive been on in almost 5 years." i say dropping my hands to my sides and lean my back against the nearest wall.

"Its fine dear" rarity says, walking in front of me.

"Just be yourself, and don't start any arguments" she reminds me.

"No, the date is ruined." I sulk a little more, i'm pretty fucking good at sulking. "Max" I hear rarity say in a very sisterly tone, which was really weird. "Max look at me" Rarity says, bringing my head up by using her magic. I'm now looking Rarity in the eyes, and shes giving me a very stern look.

“Your date with Pinkie Pie, has not been ruined” she says to me, keeping the look and tone.

“But-”

“Do not interrupt me, I’m not finished yet” Rarity says, closing my mouth with her magic. To be honest, I kinda feel violated by this, but I’ll let it go.

“Your date with Pinkie Pie, Has not been ruined.” She begins.

“Right now, Twilight is talking with Pinkie Pie right outside that door. Shes telling her that you were nervous, and need a few minutes.” She takes a deep breath.

“A few minutes  is exactly what you have Max. You are going to take 5 deep breaths, re-evaluate yourself, and walk out that door, the same confident Max that you were when you first arrived in my boutique this evening.”

She starts walking toward the door.

“I’ll be outside sitting at the table with Pinkie and Twilight when you're ready to come out.

She opens the bathroom door with her magic, and walks out elegantly.

Breath in

I am Max

Breath out

Breath in

I am going to be amazing, in front of a beautiful mare tonight, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

Breath out

Breath in

I am Max

Breath out

Breath in

I will do well under pressure tonight, I will not use my method of getting out of rough situations like I did earlier tonight.

Breath out.

Breath in

I AM MAX

Who else would you be?

Breath out

I shake my body in a manner that would suggest I’m about to play a serious game of football, but I’m not about to play a physical game, I’m about to play the game of life.

I slowly and seriously walk toward the door of the bathroom.

I straighten my tie, adjust my overcoat, and run my left hand through my hair.

I push the door open with my right hand and the soft yellow light from the restaurant fills my vision.

Pinkie, Twilight (Who I was not calling Sparks anymore because it now sounds stupid and a waste of  to me), and Rarity were sitting at our table.

I approached the table, and sat down at one of the four chairs.

“Sorry about that everyone.” I say, making Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity give me a face of confusion.

“Could you please explain why you say 'Everyone' instead of everypony?” Twilight asked me. I exhaled and thought for a second. “Well, it doesn’t really make sense to say 'everypony' to me. What if there is someone other than a pony, like a uh...” I think for a second, where the fuck have I seen a different being that can talk and walk like a pony.

Wait, that dragon named Spike.

“That Spike fellow, hes not a pony. Would it make sense to say 'Hello everypony, and Spike'?”

Twilight gives a weird look. She looks down and thinks for a bit. I continue “In my world, we don’t say 'Hello every human', we say everybody, everyone, or someone.” this gets a look out of Rarity and Pinkie pie as well.

“Wow, that makes since” Pinkie pie says as she looks to Rarity for confirmation. In turn, Rarity nods and gives Pinkie Pie a smile. Twilight is still thinking, so I start a conversation that would maybe interest her. “Well, I have a proposal for conversation” I say as I scratch my scalp. “What would that be dear?” Rarity asks. I look at her and smile “Well, how about we play a game of information for information” I start. “I'll ask you a question about your world, and each of you get to ask me a question about my world.”

Pinkie's face turns from happy to intrigued.

“Okay!” She says as she bounces in her chair. I snap my fingers in front of Twilight’s face to get her attention, which works. “Huh what?” Twilight says as she snaps back to reality. “I was just thinking about what you said, it makes sense.” she says as she raises at me. “I know” I say as I lean back in my chair and place my hands in the back of my head. Twilight rolls her eyes and says “Just get on with it Max.”

“OK, so Twilight already knows a lot about world” I say to Rarity and Pinkie. “But neither of you know much about it.” I say as I point to Rarity and Pinkie.

“And honestly, I don’t know much about your world, even if I am one of the Princesses students.” This gets Rarity’s attention.

“You’re what now?” she says with wide eyes.

“Oh, I just kinda assumed you knew” I say as the waiter brings us drinks. Water for Pinkie, Rarity and Twilight. But he gave me a glass of scotch on the rocks, I guess Twilight ordered it for me. I look over to Twilight, who was looking at me with an unsure smile. I give her a single nod of the head to confirm that she did good, which made her unsure smile turn into a satisfied and proud smile. I raise my drink to my mouth, but stop midway and lower it to the table.

I had an idea, that might raise everyone’s spirits. I raise my glass in front of me to the middle of the table and say

“A toast.” which gets everyone’s attention.

Rarity and Twilight bring their glasses to mine with their magic.

“To friendship, and maybe something more.” I begin.

“Its what brings us together, and binds us to become something special.” Pinkie was now raising her glass and giving me a warm smile. All of our glasses clink together, and we all take a drink.The smooth drink burns as it enters my body. “Damn that’s some good shit” I say as I flex my tongue.

“So dear” Rarity starts.

“Tell us about the fashion of your world” She tells me. “And the Parties!” Pinkie pie exclaims.

I took another deep breath.

I explained the fashion of earth and what not. Rarity seemed extremely intrigued, while Twilight sat back and listened. Fashion wasn’t exactly my expertise like parties were, but I told her all I knew.

When I told Pinkie about the parties (which I knew a lot more about than fashion) I started talking about my experience as a DJ.

“And you would go to these 'raves' and play music so other humans could dance to it?” Rarity asked me.

“Well of course” I start. “A party HAS to have music, and when I say music, I mean music with beats, and wubs.”

“Oooo, what are wubs?” Pinkie, who was now sitting, next to me and laying her head on my shoulder.

“Wubs are the most beautiful sound a machine can make.” I start. “They make beats sounds right and ambient sounds sound amazing.” I finish.

Somewhere in the middle of my rant about fashion, the waiter had given us our food, and we ate with elegance.

And by we, I mean Rarity and Twilight. Pinkie and I scarfed the food down like we hadn’t eaten in three days. I had downed at least two more drinks, and the reason I had only downed two drinks is because I didn’t want to get completely wasted.

“So, Max” Rarity started. “Yes Rarity?” i comply.

“When did you start drinking?” she asked me. I assume she means alcohol.

I put my hands over my face, and wiped them down it. “Let me tell you a story” i say as i begin explaining my alcoholism.

“A long time ago, when i was about 17, My entire family started Dying around me.” I said, getting confused looks from Pinkie and Rarity. Twilight only gave me a look of deep respect. “Darling, you can’t mean ALL of your family started dying around you” rarity gave me a small smile. “It started with my father disappearing, I assume my worlds government saw that he got too far with his experiment, and killed him because they were either too lazy to deal with him the right way, or just sick of his science shit.” I said to rarity,while signaling the waiter over to our table. the waiter came over

“What is it, Sir?” The waiter asked me.

“Alfred, i need another scotch on the rocks” I said snapping my fingers.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose which hurt more than i would have liked it to. “Fuck i need a drink.”

“Go on with your story dear” rarity said, looking over to Pinkie Pie who had a frown on her face.

I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

“Well, i really just started to get into some self destructive behavior. You know, the basic, drinking, drugs, and other stuff.”  I opened my eyes and looked around as i observed the ponies around me. they were all frowning, even  Twilight.

“Well this was quite the evening” Rarity said, getting out of her seat.

“It was, i had a lovely time Max” Twilight said to me with a worrisome smile.

They both left quicker than they had returned, leaving me and Pinkie Pie alone. “Max, are all of those things true?” Pinkie asked me, getting out of her seat and moving closer to me.

“Of course they were.” i say. Pinkie is now right beside me, sitting on her haunches next the chair im sitting in. I still dont get why ponies would need chairs, i mean come on, its not like they need lumbar support. but thats for another time. Pinkie leaned her head against my hip, and sighed. “Whats wrong?” i ask the obviously upset mare.

“Its nothing” Pinkie says, burying her face into my pants.

“Its obviously something” i say, raising an eyebrow. She sighs again, this time stepping away from my pants and walking toward the door. I get up and follow, as we exit the building. We walk back to sugarcube corner, but halfway, i get an idea.

“Hey Pinkie” i say to get the mares attention as we walk through an empty park. “Yes max?” Pinkie asks, looking at me with tired eyes.

“I have an idea, but im going to need your help” i say, stopping next to a fairly large tree.

I look up and down the tree for a second. “Perfect” i say as i stick my tongue out to visualize what im about to do.

“Pinkie, i need you to lift me because i can't stretch my legs very well in these pants” I say to her preparing to climb the mentioned tree.

“Max, its dark, and i want to go home” Pinkie complains. Apparently, this is out of character for her, but i won't judge. “Come on, it will be….” i pause for dramatic effect. “FUN!” i say as i jump as high as i can and grab onto a low hanging branch. “Pinks, i need your help with this one!” i say as my voice strains, as physical activities such as pull ups are not my forte.

I feel Pinkies hooves on the bottoms of my shoes, slowly but surely pushing me up higher and higher until i eventually was able to lift myself up. when i was standing steadily on the low hanging branch, i hopped onto a branch that was nearby, but still low enough hanging to be able to hoist Pinkie Pie up.

“Pinkie, im going to swing from my feet on this branch, when i say grab, i need you to grab onto my hand with both hooves, okay?” i ask the Pinkie mare, who was wearing a confused look on her face. “Okay Max” she says as i swing down from the branch to be upside down. The only thing keeping me from falling was my feel which were acting as sort of hinges. she looked at me, and giggled a little. “What are you doing Max?” Pinkie said as she cocked her head. “You know” i say as i cross my arms. “Just…” i pause again, time to make a horrible pun. “Hanging around” i say with a smile and an eyebrow raise. Pinkie rolled her eyes and Laughed.

Smiling is good.

“Why are you doing this Max?” she asks me. “Well, I beleaf I needed to Branch out on a new idea." I say, Making another Pun. Pinkie is now Laughing out loud per say.

“Just climb up me and get on the branch.” I say, finally realizing the fact that what i said is completely impossible.

“Uh, Max-”

“Yea I know, this shit is impossible” I stay there, hanging upside down. I cross my arms, thinking of a way to get pinkie into this tree, but instead i drop down form the branch. “Well that was completely pointless.” I say to myself as i brush my pants off.

I look at Pinkie pie, she’s looking at me with a look of...well, the best way i can describe it is confusion.

“Why did you do that Max?” Pinkie asked me as she cocked her head.

“I honestly dont know, i feel like I’m being controlled by some outside forces.” I look in a random direction.

I look back at Pinkie pie, she's giggling.

“Oh and what's so funny?” i say as i sit down at the base of the tree.

“You are, silly” she says as she sits down next to me.

I stretch, and close my eyes as I lean against the tree, oh majestic tree, tell me your secrets.

I felt pinkie nuzzle up against me, and then rest her head on my lap. I opened my eyes to see pinkie laying down, and what do you know, Pinkie was lying down and laying her head on my lap. A question popped into my head, I don’t know why I hadn’t asked this completely relevant question before.

“Pinkie, can i ask you a question?” I say as i run my hand through the pink mares mane.

I see her shift a little before she responds.

“What is it Max?” She says as she lays facing up, oh lawdy those eyes. they glimmered in the moonlight like it was no one's fucking business.

“Why did you say yes?” I ask. by her face, I knew that she knew what i was talking about.

She looked at me for a second with a warm smile. she sat up and leaned toward my face, i was stunned, i have no fucking idea whats about to happen. She was about an inch from my face when she said

“Max, i like you” she started “I like you-” she paused and looked down, then looked back up. “Alot, and i wouldnt miss a chance in the world to spend time with you.” she said right before she leaned in further and KISSED ME

My eyes grew wide

I was stunned

This was the first time i've ever done something like this.

It felt like it lasted for hours, when in reality, it probably lasted like, a few seconds. When we pulled apart, she looked at me dead in the eyes.

My eyes still wide, i looked down. “Well thats a first” i said as i stare off into space. i continue to start into space, thinking of what the fuck just happened.

>Brain.exe has encountered an error

RESTART?

>Y/N

>Y

>Brain.exe restarting

>Brain.exe has detected a past error would you like to start in safe mode?

>Y/N

>N

>Booting up Common Sense.

>Booting complete!

>Brain.exe would like to update

>Accept update Y/N

>N

>Booting Complete!

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END OF CHAPTER

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