Episode 4: Ponyville

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Max POV

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I was leaning on the side of what I was told was a chariot, with half of my body off of it.

The guard who was hired to watch me, in case I go insane, was named Steel something... I never really was good with names.

all I remember, is that he had a really unusual name, that was nothing like I had ever heard before.

But I am in a land full of ponies...so I guess I need to keep an open mind

"You mind if I take a nap, rent-a-cop?" I asked him.

I heard him harrumph.

"I don’t care, I’m under orders by princess Celestia to watch your sanity levels. So I could care less if you fell out of the chariot thats flying 500 feet off of the ground."

"What!?!?" I said as I lost my balance

I regained my composure and curled up into a ball on the floor of the carriage.

"What’s wrong? Little human afraid of heights?"

I curled up even tighter and clung onto the floor with all my strength.

"I’m not afraid of heights, I actually love the feel of wind through my hair, but I just don’t like the fact that I was just hanging off of a chariot, traveling 5 fucking hundred feet off of the ground."

I hear Steel something chuckle.

"Well, we will arrive at our destination shortly, try not to have a heart attack before we get there." Steel-something says as he giggles to himself.

TIME SKIP 2 HOURS

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"We have arrived."

I uncurl out of the safety of my ball, outraged

"You call THAT, short!?" I question Steel-somthing

"Of course, that was only 2 hours."

I start to feel the blood rushing to my brain.

My balance goes haywire, and if I had vision, I would have lost it for a few seconds.

I fall to the floor of the chariot

"Ugh, I hate when this happens..." I mumble to myself as I regain my composure

"What’s wrong?" I hear Steel ask.

"Why do you care?" I ask back.

"Because, it’s my job to know what’s wrong." he says, as I hear his steps get closer.

"If you will back the hell up, I’ll explain" I say as I hold out my hands signaling him to back the fuck up.

"When I sit down, or lay down down, a lot of blood travels away from my brain, and when I stand up, all that blood rushes to my brain."

"Evidently making me go blind, and throwing my balance off for a few seconds."

"But since I’m already blind, it just makes the balance the only issue."

Silence

"Uh...." I hear steel start

"Don’t worry, I’ll be fine" I say sarcastically

"I don't really care" I hear Steel say

"So we have a doctor cox here ey?" I say to myself in my best Zach Braff impression.

"Soooooooo" I start

"Where are we?" I ask with complete curiosity.

"Golden Oaks Library" he says

"A library!" I get excited, but then remember

"Oh...too bad I’m blind" I say as I’m let down by the sudden realization that I can’t read while I’m fucking blind.

"How am I going to get around, I’m fucking blind, remember?" I say condescendingly.

"I’ll guide you with my magic.” he says as I look in the direction I’m facing with confusion.

"Magic? Da Fuck?" I ask as the right side of my body gets pulled in the complete opposite direction.

"Aaaahhhhhh!" I yell as my body is forced to go in a direction against its will.

suddenly, it feels as if a dozen tiny people are feeling me up, and mugging me, but very, very slowly.

I feel my pants start to fall down

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

I yell as I try to move my hands down to hold up my pants, but can’t get a good grasp on them.

I feel my pants fall to my ankles, then pull back up... wait, DA FUCK?

"Who pulled my pants up?" I yell at no-one in particular

"I didn’t really pull your pants up." I hear Steel say

"Then why do my pants just happen to be around my waist then? I ask as I caress my chin with my index finger and thumb.

"Cause you’re upside down." I hear Steel say

Then it dawns on me.

My shirt was hanging half off.

There is an awkward silence. "Let’s just get to where we’re going, so we can get this over with.” he says.

TIME SKIP 5 MINUTES

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POOMPH

"OUCH!" I yell as I land on what I suspect is a couch "What the fuck man!" I yell as I try to sit up on whatever I’m sitting on.

I hear him walk toward me

"You will wait here, while I go get Miss Sparkle." he says right before I hear him walk out, and slam the door behind him.

I sit there with my arms draped over the top of the couch

I start to snap my fingers as a song came to mind.

There was no-one around for all I knew, so I turned my internal MP3 Player on and started a

I put my hands onto my air guitar, and prepared to sing the lyrics of one of my favorite songs.

"He seemed impressed by the way you came in.

Tell us a story

I know you're not boring

I was afraid that you would not insist.

You sound so sleepy

just take this, now leave me

I said please don't slow me down

If I'm going too fast

You're in a strange part of our town...

Yeah, the night's not over

You're not trying hard enough,

Our lives are changing lanes

You ran me off the road,

The wait is over

I'm now taking over,

You're no longer laughing

I'm not drowning fast enough.”

I played the guitar solo intensely, as if I had an actual guitar

“Now every time that I look at myself

I thought I told you

this world is not for you

The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair

you sound so angry

just calm down, you found me

I said please don't slow me down

If I'm going too fast

You're in a strange part of our town...

Yeah, the night's not over

You're not trying hard enough,

Our lives are changing lanes

You ran me off the road,

The wait is over

I'm now taking over,

You're no longer laughing

I'm not drowning fast enough."

I finished playing my air guitar, with a massive finish.

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