Written by jasontaylorblogs

A cool breeze.  That was new.  Most of the time you were lucky to get the arid razors of the Mojave wind while you were trekking along the abandoned roads.  Cool air felt refreshing.  Not to mention being able to breath something that wasn’t completely stale or filled with poison.  No, this crisp air was definitely a step up from the scorching weight of the single compound that was more important to human life than any other in existence.

Of course, not everything was great about his new scenario.  For starters, the bright light of his new location left him blind to the goings-on around him.  Then there was the matter of the chirping.  The constant, nagging, pounding chirping that plagued his every second of consciousness.  Birds.  Small birds, by the faint pitch.  Nothing like the Mojave.  Hell, not even something you’d find in Zion.

After what felt like hours of resting in the tall grass—real grass—he decided to try and get back to work.  He had packages to deliver, and he had no intentions of letting Mr. House down.  As he finally managed to coax his muscles to work in favor of his wishes, he heard a loud series of gasps burst from around him.

Opening his eyes to find the light not-so-blinding, he examined the sources of the gasps.  They were all short creatures, barely half his height.  They were quadrupeds clad in golden armor.  He laughed at the sight of their helmets.  Reminded him of Caesar’s Legion, a force he’d essentially wiped out of existence on behalf of the ruler of New Vegas.  His trigger finger itched to rid his sight of the barbaric headdresses.

After making his extended comparison, he started to analyze the creatures themselves.  With a slight chuckle, he remarked, “Horses.  Similar to those found in Old World books.  Though I don’t believe the texts mentioned wings and horns.  Or armor, for that matter.”

One of the creatures in front of him stomped a hoof and adopted a commanding tone, “Who are you?  Why have you intruded in our garden?”  The creature had a brown coat, and his mane flowed in black locks.

“My name is Heathcliff.  It seems the books forgot to mention your abilities to speak.”  The man’s tone was blank, as if he weren’t really speaking to the creature.  He continued, “As for how I got here, I’m not sure.  Perhaps the Transportalponder malfunctioned again.  Or perhaps I’m simply hallucinating on Mentats again.”

The creature cocked an eyebrow, his official tone fading slightly at the human’s vacant expression.  He stammered, “At any rate, you shouldn’t be here!  You are under arrest for the crime of trespassing against the Royal Family!”

Several of the other horses drew swords and spears, most of which held in the air by some sort of anti-gravity gel.  Heathcliff chuckled, “You might want to reconsider.  Or at least tell me your name so I’ll know who I’m killing.”

“I am First Lieutenant Aegis Shield, of the Canterlot Royal Guard!  Submit peacefully or we will have no choice but to use force!”  The horse stood up tall and poked his chest out, trying to bluff the human that was twice his size.

At that sign, the biped scoffed something inaudible.  In the blink of an eye, he had pulled a strange pistol from its holster and disintegrated one of the spears that hovered just in front of Aegis.  Heathcliff sighed, “Dr. Mobius was right; the energy cells are compatible.”  Remembering the hostile creatures that surrounded him, he continued, “If you want to threaten me, at least make sure you have a chance.”

Aegis’s eye twitched in sudden fear.  The lieutenant gasped, “How’d you do that?!  That was…amazing!”

Waving a dismissive hand, the human holstered his gun and mumbled, “The Mentats.  And the V.A.T.S.  Possibly the sub dermal agility implants.  Not sure.”  Making sure no other horse wanted to advance on him, he dropped a small bag to the ground and began to rummage within it.

Aegis scoffed, “So what even are you?”

Without looking up from the bag, Heathcliff chuckled, “Human.  Normal, mostly.  I’m not an irradiated ghoul or super mutant, at least.  Maybe not so normal.  Once you’ve been through the Divide, you never are normal again.”  Finally, the courier pulled a rather bulky gun from his bag.

The soldiers around him immediately set their weapons at the ready, expecting some kind of attack from the machine in the human’s hands.  One random guard shouted, “He’s got another fancy weapon!  Stay on guard!”

Aegis snapped, “Drop your weapon, human!  We won’t hesitate to strike, no matter what kind of tricks you have.”  The guards all adopted stern expressions, as if trying to convince themselves of their threats’ honesty.

Heathcliff laughed, “Oh please, this gun couldn’t hurt a fly.  Unless that fly doesn’t like being teleported many miles in the blink of an eye.  Then it might hurt.  Still feels weird, and I’ve been through at least a dozen times.”  He examined the weapon for any signs of tampering.

The courier was still unsure of how he ended up where he was.  If the Transportalponder was malfunctioning, then using it might only make things worse.  However, the colorful nature of wherever he was started to give him a migraine.  He needed—as much as he hated to say it—to return to the bleak expanse of the Mojave before the neon creatures were fried into his corneas.

Aegis groaned, “Listen here, human!  I’m not playing games with you.  I don’t care where you’re from or what that is; you shouldn’t be here.  Now cooperate or I’ll have to subdue you myself.”

“I don’t have time for these trivialities.  Mr. House will be upset if I don’t deliver this ‘cake’ to Papa Khan before his birthday.”  He pointed the gun’s muzzle at the ground smack dab between him and the hostile soldier.  “The Big Empty awaits, hopefully.”

Pulling the trigger, a large beam of blue laser engulfed a three-foot radius from the trigger point, lifting both Heathcliff and Aegis into the air with some unknown force.  Any cries that the soldier may have tried to share were muted by the field of energy.  After raising about a thousand feet up, the two organic life forms, as well as any attached possessions, disappeared as the beam of blue vanished.

The rest of the guards were left to stare into the sky at absolutely nothing, not a trace of their lieutenant to be found. Next Chapter: Out of the Desert and Into the Garden Estimated time remaining: 36 Minutes