Dankworld
(Pony Edition)
~Act One~
~Part Two~

You and Applejack stroll for the longest time, the clopping of hooves on the road the only sound in the night, besides the awkward silence between you two. She is nervous, or at least looks the part, looking around cautiously and glancing to you more often than not. Man, even little fillies were less terrified of a “monster”; you are not sure if you find this situation funny or offensive. Regardless, you two carry on with no conversation, traveling down the long and lonesome ROAD.
All of a sudden, Applejack turns her head in your direction and stammers out “So... uh... Twilight is wonna tha smartest ponies I know, if anypony can help yeh, it would be her.”

>Remain silent

That was Applejack's first and possibly final attempt at trying for a conversation, and the next few minutes are also soaked in an abomination of a silence. She figures she was this close to breaking the ice and making this significantly less awkward, but you went and tore that opportunity away from her.
You cruel, cruel bastard.
She swallows her fear and nonchalantly asks if you are tired and want to ride her the rest of the way. You believe this to be an apology for what her little sister and her buddies did. A yawn escapes your mouth and you realize how exhausted you are.

>Accept her offer.

You have a great deal of experience riding (wink wink), and quickly rise to the occasion (nudge nudge), and then mount Applejack. (You don't actually have sex, though.)
She is clearly hindered by your size, yet the pony is far from weak, so she carries you without complaints. She trots at a pace slightly faster than the one you were walking at. Your feet are only a few inches above the ground.

>“Thanks, Applejack.”

“Aw, it's nuthin’.” She seems to be warming up to you, she acts far less nervous than before. What a tenacious pony, you think.
>Load a bowl.
You think it would be difficult to load some bud into a piece while you are riding on the pony, and it turns out you are right. You try your best to avoid spilling any at all, but you drop a NUGGET into the dirt in your attempt. Damn.
Eventually, you have a good sized bowl loaded with your thumb placed above it, for maximum protection.
Applejack glances back as best as she could, and asks what you are doing back there.

>Explain the situation to your steed.

You go off on a minute long speech about how you have loaded this bowl for the sake of liberty and freedom, and your God-given rights to do drugs as you wish. You mention a NUG that has gone missing in action with the most recent of combat and how it fought as bravely a soldier could before it was lost to the darkness, and now you must cremate the bodies that you have recovered, to release their spirits from this world to the next.
And you promised yourself you wouldn't cry.

>Take a hit.

In remembrance of the many brave cannibinoids that lost their lives, you ignite the Chronic of Narnia and give a swift salute to those fallen souls. Godspeed in your next life, warriors, Godspeed.
Applejack gives you a quizzical and perhaps prosecuting look, but you don't care; she hasn't witnessed the atrocities you have. Applejack returns to staring down the path, your rant only served to confuse her, so she decides to inquire no further.
The moon flies high in the sky, and you hear Applejack sigh. Your surroundings evolve from the dull outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres to the dull outskirts of Ponyville. While the night is beautiful, it's also boring as hell. Hopefully, things will be more exciting once the sun rises.
You can’t really deal with boredom very well.

>Ask her how long before we get there.

Applejack reckons that it'll only take a few minutes until you two arrive, then asks what smells so bizarre. She also mentions something about it smelling like a dragon.

>Ask her how she feels about cannabis

AJ claims to have never heard of such a thing, nosiree. “Now answer mah question”.

>”Well, that’s what it is... cannabis.”

“Oh” She said. “An' just what the hay is that?”

>”Well, Applejack, this here is a plant by many names, scientifically known as Cannabis Sativa, Indica, or Ruderalis. It’s main active ingredient is tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC. When this chemical enters your bloodstream, you experience euphoria and stuff, so basically it feels good. I am smoking it, so the THC is getting into my body through my lungs.”

Applejack is lost. You just spewed a whole bunch of fancy words at her and diction has never really been her strong point.
“Now, hold up a minute. So, you breathe smoke, and somehow the... chemicals in that plant get inta yer blood? How in tha’ hay does that work?”

>”Science, my orange equine friend. Science happens, so you get high.”

“Well okay then, you have fun with yer science then.”

You notice Applejack has gradually slowed down, her back now bows a little lower and you can feel her shoulders quiver underneath you. Between labored breaths, Applejack kindly asks you to get off, because “Her shoulders are kinda stiff from farm work and she needs to stretch.”

>”You can just say you are tired, it’s okay.”

“What? Ah am not tired! Ah just told you...” She takes a quiet, yet deep breath. “...Ahm just stretchin!”
She makes a show out of said stretching, eliciting a few cracks and pops from her belaboured skeleton.
“Sorry to end the ride, Ahm sure you were enjoyin it, but Ponyville is just up ahead, and my friends might see... Er...”

>”See what?”

She inches a little closer.
“Look, uh, I think it might be weird if ponies saw me carryin’ some alien into town in the middle of the night...” She whispers to you.

>”But Spike rides you guys all the time!”

“Yeah, but he’s only a ba-... How did you know about Spike?”

You realize you divulged information you learned from watching the show, but couldn’t possibly know anything about otherwise.

>“You told me about him when you offered me a ride and I thought it would be weird, remember?”

“Uhhhhh... Yeah, of course Ah remember! And, uh... Well, Twilight lives thataways, in a big tree. It’s the towns library, but she moved in there a while back. Really, it’s a tree with windows and stuff, ya can’t miss it. Anywho, go talk to her, she is probably still up, she always studies late.”

>”Okay, thanks Applejack! Nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, see ya around, Spencer.”
She departs back towards the farm, and you walk off “thataways”, eager to meet your favorite pony.