Chapter 5

Black Eyes Are So Uncool

I yawned, stretching my legs before wrapping my hooves around Dash again. “Mmm. Morning, Dash.” I looked down and a multi-coloured mane with two cyan ears poking out of it filled my vision. I stopped and thought for a second. “Oh gods! Again?!” It was just like yesterday morning. I was on my back with Rainbow Dash sleeping on top of me.

“Dash...Are you awake?” There was a rise and fall with her breathing but she was otherwise silent. She was snoring pretty good the other day and I remember in the show she snored awfully loud. “C’mon Dash.” I pushed against her shoulder. This only got her to snuggle against me tighter and for her to rub her cheek on my chest.

“Mmm, Newbie. Harder.”

My eyes went wide. Was she dreaming about me? And what kind of dream was she having?! A grin tugged at my lips as a devious thought entered my mind. “Oh Dashie. How’s this? Want me to do it harder?” Dash groaned in her sleep.

“Yes...little closer...almost there.”

I had to hold myself back from laughing. She had even started to breath harder. This was pretty funny. It was also pretty mean. When that realization hit me, I frowned. My sibling had exploited me in a similar situation. The results were horrible. Thanks to the internet, the entire school had access to a video of me moaning my crush-at-the-time’s name. “Dashie. It’s time to wake up.”

I poked her in the cheek with my pony hoof. I watched as she slowly raised her head with her eyes still closed. Dash then slowly opened her mouth. My first impression was that she was going to yawn. This was an incorrect assumption. I watched without moving as she put her mouth on my foreleg, just above my hoof, and clamped down hard.

I watched as her teeth dug into my skin for a moment while my brain worked out that I was actually in pain. This is also where I learned that while the cuts on my legs had been mended together, the wounds still caused bruising and soreness. My face twisted in pain as I yelled out.

“Ooooooowwwwwww!!!”

“Look, Dash, I told you I was sorry. I really didn’t mean it.” The cyan kept up a brisk pace as we trotted through the town. She kept her head down so her mane would cover as much of her face as possible. “Look Dash, What can I do to make it better?”

“There isn’t anything you can do!” She glared at me for just a split second but it was long enough for me to get a clear view of the swollen and darkened flesh around her eye. I may have been a bit overzealous in trying to remove Rainbow Dash from my leg earlier that morning. I meant to just have pushed her off but not being used to having a hardened bludgeon at the end of my limb, I may have hit her with a bit more force than intended.

“Black eyes are so uncool.”

I wanted to comfort the disheartened mare but I was afraid to touch anyone with these weapons of mass destruction attached to me. “Urg.” I stumbled over my own hooves. Pain shot up my leg with each step of my nearly nommed leg.  “Maybe Twilight will be willing to help with that, like she did with the burn.”

Rainbow Dash sighed and I could tell she was rolling her eyes. “Well that was the idea, Newbie.” I noticed we weren’t on the path to the library but then again, I am not too familiar with the layout of Ponyville. I had no idea where we were actually going or what we were doing. After breakfast, Dash just told me to follow her.

“So...um...Dash...Where are we going?” I tried my best to ignore my aching leg and the prying glances we were getting. I had to admit, neither of us was doing a good job at hiding our injuries. Rainbow’s mane was just too short to cover her eye properly. The ponies were all too obvious with their whispering.

“We’re going to the park, Newbie. Everypony is probably already there waiting for us.”

“Oh. Are we having a picnic lunch? That sounds pretty good.”

“Uh...Yeah. Something like that, Newbie.” I could feel my ears perk as I stared at Rainbow Dash. Something wasn’t right with the way she said that. I watched her as we walked for a bit and she didn’t seem to be acting any different though. I forced myself to relax and actually pay attention to the landscape.

It didn’t take long before the houses to start to get scarce. We were walking away from the main part of town. Rainbow Dash lifted her head up, a sign we wouldn’t be meeting many other ponies. I was quite curious of where we were going now but I knew Dash wouldn’t tell me. Something about this whole situation seemed a bit off.

I sighed, trying my best to walk around my bitten leg. “So...Rainbow Dash. About this morning...or last night. I guess it’s a combination of both really.” The cyan mare looked back at me with a scrutinous look. “I was just wondering why you were laying on me.”

Dash groaned. “Well, it’s not like that was the first thing I did when I got in bed. There was plenty of room for the both of us. Hey! It was my bed you were sleeping in to begin with so don’t blame me for what happened.” The mare rustled her wings and faced forward. “...Hey, Newbie.” I grinned, pushing the pain aside to trot up next to her. I laid a wing across her back and bumped into her a bit.

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. No one is blaming you for anything. I am just worried about you. Twilight wasn’t so gentle with the let down yesterday, though she didn’t exactly know you liked her like that.” I frowned. I wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Look. If you ever just need somebody to talk to, I’ll be here for you.”

Dash seemed to cheer up a bit. She looked around before pulling me in a quick, awkward hug. She quickly broke away and poked me in the chest. “Don’t you tell anypony about that.”

“Don’t worry, Rainbow Dash. I won’t tell anyone. Pinkie Promise.” I smiled as she seemed pleased with my answer. We continued on our little journey.

It wasn’t too much longer of walking, which was a godsend for my aching leg, before I saw the other mane six sitting on a checkered blanket in a large field. We quickly crossed over to join the rest. As I expected, there was a deep gasp from a certain pony. “Rainbow! Whatever happened to your eye? And Crystal, your leg! What in Celestia’s sun happened to you two?”

I rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah...Dash’s eye was kinda my fault. We were a little rough with each other in bed this morning.” I regretted how I worded that as soon as I saw the blushes spread across the group.

“Uuugghh. Newbie!”

“Oooh?” I felt Rarity sidled up next to me, taking a closer look at my leg. “Well, I’ll say you were. I know Dash can be a bit rough around the edge but really, dear, it looks like she tried to take a chunk out of your leg. Though, I would have never thought Rainbow as a biter. Maybe a bit of a screamer.”

“Enough!” Rainbow Dash fell to the ground with a solid thump. “This isn’t what you all are making out to be. All we did was sleep together!” Rarity giggled and nodded.

“Well that much is certain, Darling.” The white unicorn seemed oblivious to Dash’s reddening face and growing scowl. “I have never seen you so enamored with somepony before. I suppose those eyes on her got to you. They are beautiful. I just hope she makes you happy.”

“He!” I stamped my hoof. “I am a he! I am not a mare. I am not female. I am a guy before coming to this world and I would appreciate being referred to as such. It is a bit demoralizing being call a girl all the time.”

“But it would be rather confusing referring you as a male when it’s quite obvious you’re a mare, Darling. I am sure it would be better just calling you such for the time being. It would save a lot of confusion.”

“No. I would rather take the confusion then be continuously be called something I am not!”

“Oh come now. I am sure we could meet halfway with this.”

Twilight stomped her hooves. “Girls! Girls!” She caught a glare from me. “And guy...I guess.” She shook her head. “Now we are here for something important. I believe we should get started on that. Crystal, could you come here in front of me for a second?”

“Ok...” I slowly stepped forward in front of Twilight. The request was a bit weird but what was normal in this land. “So...what’s up, Twilight?” I looked into her eyes. They looked a bit sad and apologetic. “Twilight?” I began hearing clicks all around me.

My heart plummeted as I saw that the mane six had formed a circle around me and had put on their Elements. My muscles tensed, wings spread in case there was a need for them. This only caused Rainbow and Fluttershy to take to the air. “I don’t understand. What is going on?!”

“I’m sorry, Crystal. This is only a precaution. Please calm down.”

“What? You all don’t trust me or something? What did I ever do not to make you trust me?”

Twilight held a hoof up. “It’s not that, Crystal. It’s just the way you...took care of that changeling.”

“Which was totally awesome.”

Twi shot Rainbow Dash a look before continuing. “By what Dash said, it was a bit...brutal. That, and from what the princess said about what Princess Luna saw from your mind, we just wanted to make sure we had a bit of a backup plan in case you got violent. I hope you understand.”

I looked around at the group. I understood. They were afraid. I sighed and fold my wings before sitting down. “Twilight. I wouldn’t do anything to harm any of you. What I did yesterday was to protect my friends. Yes, I feel a bit bad about killing the changeling but it left me no choice. I gave it a second chance to just go away and it used it to try and attack me again.”

Dash flew down and landed next to me. “It’s like I told you, Twi. She didn’t do it because she thought is was fun, she did it because she didn’t want to leave me and Berry hangin’.” Dash sat up tall with her wings flared a bit. “I trust her. She saved my life...only because that changeling blind-sided me. If it didn’t then I would have had no problems taking it down.”

This caused a slight bout of giggles around the group. “Alright, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight rolled her eyes a bit before relaxing visibly. “That isn’t the real reason we’re here. The thing is...it might take some time for the princesses to find a way to get you home and-”

“Who says I want to go home?”

“Um...well...What?”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to go home. I really don’t. Before coming here, I was living a substandard life. I don’t really want to get into the details. It was just a very dull and boring life with really no one in it.” I raised my hooves up. “But here...Here I already have some great friends and it’s been anything but boring. Yeah, there are some things that I wish were different but I think I like it here.” I smiled confidently.

Twilight just looked at me like I was crazy. “Oookay. But what about your friends and family back home. They would surely miss you.” I shook my head.

“No, Twilight. My family only got in contact with me when they needed money or something and I didn’t really have friends.”

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy flapped over and landed next to me, petting my mane. “That must have been just horrible, not having any friends. We can be your friends, Crystal. I mean, only if it’s alright with you.”

I felt somepony glomp me from behind, nearly forcing my face in the dirt. “No friends?! How could anypony live like that?! If I had no friends, I wouldn’t be happy. If I wasn’t happy then I could throw super funtastic parties! And if I couldn’t throw super funtastic parties then nopony would be happy. And if nopony was happy, I would be even more unhappy!” I smiled as the smell of sweets started to fill my nose.

Twilight stared at Pinkie Pie for a second before clearing her throat. “Yes. Anyways, Princess Celestia wants us to keep an eye on you. We talked about it yesterday while you were resting.”

“Yeah, Newbie. We thought it would be best if you shacked up with me but I don’t take kindly to slackers. I am gonna get you a job on the weather team as well.” Dash nodded with a smile.

“That way you can keep an eye on me at all times.” Dash’s smile faded and she opened her mouth to protest but I quickly cut her off. “No no. I understand. The Princesses put you up to this. You are the only one who would be able to catch me if something happened...No offense, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, none taken at all.”

I waved a hoof at Dash. “I really can’t complain, huh? Now I get to hang out with Rainbow Dash. The coolest and fastest flyer in all Equestria! Am I right?”

Dash puffed up proudly. “Buck yeah, you’re right. Give me some wing!” Me and Dash wing fived, getting another laugh out of all the ponies. “Oh...you start tomorrow, Newbie.” My disgruntled face made for another laughed.

“I just hope your two’s work life doesn’t spill into your home life. You make quite a cute couple if I do say so myself.” I groaned and spun around to Rarity, nearly throwing Pinkie off my back. I forgot the party pony was still even clinging to me.

“Look, Rarity. It isn’t like that between me and Dash. This morning was just a...hmm. I am not sure what to call it exactly but nothing like that happened, ok? Plus, I am sure Rainbow Dash doesn’t even like me like that.”

Rarity’s eyes flitted over to Twilight for the briefest of seconds. “Oh...Ok. I see. It’s a pity though. I already thought up some dresses that would comment on each other very well for you and Rainbow Dash. Are you sure you-” Rarity was interrupted by a loud rumbling noise. It didn’t take long for everyone to figure out it was coming from me.

“Well...I guess I am a bit hungry.”

“But you ate even more than me this morning.” Dash stared at me in amazement. “How are you even hungry?”

“Well, it could be because her body is still recovering from the loss of blood from yesterday and the time when we found her..” A quick growl from me caused Twilight to pause. “Oh sorry...When we found him. I guess we can head back to Ponyville for a quick bite. Me and Spike had a light breakfast so I could eat something.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Pinkie Pie pushed up on my back and waved a hoof excitedly. “Pick me! Pick me!” Twilight hesitantly pointed a hoof at Pinkie. “Yes!” The pink mare jump off my back and raced to the nearest tree. She put her head inside it and pulled out a picnic basket. The party pony was humming lightly when she got back next. “I have these things everywhere for emergencies like these.”

I busted out laughing. “Pinkie Pie. You are so random.” I watched as she smiled and pulled the blanket from the basket, fanning it out. As soon as the blanket was spread out, we all sat down to a light lunch. It went over fairly. No big surprises. I just listened as the mares talked mostly between themselves, pulling me into the conversation here and there.

After we finished eating, Dash started explaining to me about what would be going on with my new job. It was really just a back and forth of me saying I didn’t know how to do said task and Dash telling me that she would show me how to do it tomorrow. Things started to wind down a bit and we started cleaning up. Dash nudged me and motioned for me to follow her.  We walked over to Twilight, her attention immediately on us.

Twilight stopped what she was doing and turned to us. “Hey Rainbow, hey Crystal. Did you need anything?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes like it was obvious and sighed.

“Hey Twi. Do you think you could fix us up? I don’t want ponies getting the wrong idea about my eye.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Now just close your eyes and hold still...” Rainbow Dash followed her instructions as Twilight’s horn started to glow. I watched in amazement as the discolouration began to turn back into it’s normal shade and the swelling start to fade.

“That is amazing!” I leaned my face in closer to Dash’s to get a closer look. “I know this is probably some low level magic but from where I come from, we have nothing like this! I could just imagine...” I was stopped as Dash’s face suddenly rushed towards mine.

Now I expect you are waiting for me to say our lips pressed together and we shared a romantic kiss like in an anime. Well, let me tell you something. Those animes are full of shit. When her mouth hit mine, it hurt. A LOT.  I fell backwards, grabbing my mouth. “Agh! Pinkie!”I heard the mare laughed and shout out.

“Sorry!”

I stood back up and rubbed my lips, making sure they weren’t busted and bleeding. I saw Rainbow Dash doing the same thing.  I sighed and turned to Twilight, who was just staring at us. “Are you two ok?” Me and Dash nodded. “Alright,Crystal. Put your hoof out and I’ll heal it.” I did as I was asked.

As Twilight’s horn glowed, I gasped. A soothing coolness filled my entire foreleg as well as a sort of humming. As I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling, I could tell it seemed to be coming from the wound itself. We sat there for a few minutes as the bite marks faded beneath my fur. “There we go. Good as new”

I tested my newly healed leg out, missing the feeling of Twilight healing it already. “Good job, Twilight.” I earned a smile and a nod. “So...I guess everyone has to get back to work huh?”

“Eeyup. Them apples aren’t gonna buck themselves. Big Mac is gonna be down right sore with me for missing so much work. “ Applejack bowed her hat to me. “Nice talkin' with ya, Crystal. It’s nice to know I have another trustworthy friend.”

I felt an eerie presence at my side, turning to find Rarity. “I am in the same boat as Applejack. With my trip to Canterlot and all, I really need to get back to work in the Boutique. Fluttershy and I are having a spa day tomorrow and we would just loved it if you joined us.”

“Well...I don’t know.”

“Oh nonsense, Darling. You don’t have to worry about the bits. I’ll cover your half. It’s just so we can get to know each other better. I won’t take no for an answer. Bye bye for now.” I watched Rarity trot over to Aj and began talking her about something. They were out of earshot but I could tell from Applejack’s expression that it was probably something about Rarity’s fashion show trip.

I shook my head and turned face to face with Fluttershy. Her eyes were glued to the ground as she lightly hooved at a leaf. “I...That is...Bye.” Fluttershy turned around and walked away. I shook my head and made my way over to Rainbow Dash and Twilight. They were talking about the newest release of Daring Doo. “Hey...either of you see where Pinkie Pie went to?”

The both just shrugged. “So Newbie...Are you alright with me watching over you all the time?” The rainbow maned mare laughed as she flew up into the air a couple of feet.

I shrugged. “I understand the caution that was put into it. I’ll be fine...there is one thing I was wanting to ask you, Twilight,” Her ears perked up at the sound of her name. “I was wondering if you could find out anything about...this...” I placed a hoof on my chest. “I would like to know more about it. Maybe how to use it or something just so I don’t accidentally end up with another hole in my chest.”

The unicorn nodded. “Sure. I would like to learn more about it as well. If I find anything important, I’ll come to you first. Now...i should get back to the library to make sure Spike hasn’t burnt it down yet. I’ll see you later, Crystal and you too, Dash. Bye.” Twilight’s horn glowed and in a flash she was gone.

I was left alone with Rainbow Dash yet again. “So,” -I turned to the cyan mare- “What were you planning to do today?”

“Nap and practice flying.”

“Is that all?”

Dash nodded. “Yeah, it is my day off.” She shrugged and flew down next to me. “What? Is there a problem with that?”

“I know a better plan!” Pinkie Pie bursted up between us with a small blast of confetti causing me and Dash jump backwards in surprise. "We should go prank some ponies!” The pink pony grabbed and pulled us into a weird little hug.

Dash lit up a bit and turned to me. “You ok with this, Newbie? Just small harmless pranks?”

I laughed and nodded. “Sure...I never pranked much so this should be a lot of fun.”

“Okie Dokie Loki! It’s time to set off for our next quest!” Pinkie pointed a hoof in the direction of town and commanded an adventurous aura. “The grand quest of prankrania!” The three of us laughed as we set forth into our new adventure, not knowing what mischief laid before us.