DJ looked around at the environment. Green grass with a breeze rolling over the hills. DJ looked down at the grass, getting down on a knee, and yanking several blades up. He stood back up, observing the flawless grass. The colors, the way the wind blew them out of his hand, and even how they felt. He felt a smile grow on his face. Perfect transition. He took a seat in the grass. I guess my subconscious thought that was enough mental torture. He sat down in the grass, looking at the breeze rolling over the hills.

     "This kinda sucks, I'm not going to remember this place. It's pretty peaceful." He chuckled to himself. "But then again, I'll forget that hell hole." He laid on the ground, closing his eyes, allowing the wind to blow over his face. He smiled a little. "I'm just glad I kept the DCs from killing me, usually when I don't humor them, they end up going crazy." He let out a sigh. "I was kind of a dick..." he shrugged "They aren't real, like they care."

      He sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees. Maybe I could get myself out of it? Wake myself from the coma? He looked at the Glock that had been formed in his hand. It would be pretty nice, wake up in the real world. Real people. Not fake ponies. He chambered a round into the black pistol. Then again, I could just cause myself a massive headache. Wouldn't be the first time. He studied the pistol, looking at every little feature. It's crazy, I know this isn't real, yet, it is so accurate. The grass, the guns, the plays, even that stupid hospital. He tightened his grip on the pistol. There was always one dude that said you couldn't feel in dreams. The same dude also said if you die in dreams, you die in real life.

    He laughed a little. But, here I am, in a dream, and I can feel the wind on my face, the grass under my ass, the metal in my hand. He pulled the gun to his temple. "And death doesn't kill you, just wakes you up." He slowly pulled the trigger, time slowed down, almost stopping. He looked over to the gun, the bullet slowly leaving the barrel. He stood up, looking at the bullet. He could even see his reflection, it was distorted and not really him, but in dreams, you are you, but aren't really you. You can be anything and anyone, while being restricted to your own body. Your own mind. DJ looked up at the rolling hills, then back at the bullet. Only this time, he wasn't the only one in the reflection. 

    Time returned to normal speed as DJ wipped around, raising the pistol, which was now an AR15 with a round in the chamber, to his shoulder. On the other end, stood a dark blue alicorn. Cyan eyes. A moon as the cutie mark. DJ slammed his eyes shut. When I open my eyes, I'm going to be alone. No ponies. No people. None of my personal demons. Just me. Alone in this magnificent dream. His eyes slowly opened, the blue alicorn still standing there, a mixture of fear and sadness on her face. 

    DJ inched his finger towards the trigger, Luna noticed this, her eyes getting wide. "No! Wait! Please! Not again!" She pleaded.

     "DCs aren't welcome right now." His finger now resting on the trigger. "I am sorry, I wish to be alone." DJ pulled the trigger, one bullet left the chamber. It flew through the air, but before it could hit Luna, a loud *ting* noise rang through the dream. DJ' face fell into confusion, he pulled the trigger, three more times, three more *tings* rang out. DJ lowered the gun. "What the hell?" He looked closer, a small, barely noticeable, blue bubble surrounded the princess, her horn slightly glowing.

     She let out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that wouldn't work." She took a step closer as dozens of rounds from the AR slammed into the barrier. "Listen, I know you may not want to talk with me right now, and this is an impressive dreamscape, I ask to speak with you."

     DJ dropped the AR, forming a pump action shotgun. "Just die already! Fuck!" He screamed, followed by a loud bang, click click, bang, click click, bang, click click.  

     Luna shook her head. "Will you listen to me please?"

     DJ dropped the shotgun. "You don't take the hint do you? I want to be alone!" He grabbed a grenade from his pocket, pulling the pin. "Maybe I can have another transition or wake up." The grenade exploded in DJ's hand, leaving the dream to implode around Luna, forcing her out of his head.

     DJ's eyes slowly fluttered open. The first thing he did was grab his nose. "I'm awake!" He yelled. "This is real! I'm finally awake!" He jumped out of the bed, he was just taking in his surroundings. He looked around, a low ceiling, marble pillars, a large circular bed, a balcony that let in massive rays of sunshine. DJ looked over to a mirror. He looked like shit, his mohawk was bushy, his unshaved face held a large amount of hair, all the dirt from the championship was still stained in his skin. He was only in his boxers. He turned to see an open door, and a sink. probably need to wash, most likely smell like shit. He looked at the mirror once again, noticing a pile of clothes, his clothes, folded in a nice pile, clean. DJ shrugged, walking towards the bathroom.

     He looked at the small shower. Shrugging, he tossed his boxers to the side. When he turned on the water, it immediately turned a brown color as it washed the dirt and sweat off him. He just stood in the warm water as it poured over his shoulders. He shut the water off after making sure every part of him was clean. And he felt it, he felt fresh. He pulled on his clean underwear, and other clothes, and slowly made his way to the balcony. He pulled back the curtains. "Son of a bitch..." He said as a white pegasus in gold armor flew by, making his rounds.

_______________________________________________ 

    Celestia sat at her throne, ponies walking in and out with their problems and proposals and praises. But her mind was elsewhere. Twilight had suggested that DJ was a human. As much as he resembled and acted like one, she couldn't believe it. Her sister couldn't have possibly brought a creature of war into their peaceful world. The nobles were all talking about the gala, which was less than two months away. What would happen? Would it be more organized? Would the elements be there? The main questions came from Blueblood.

     "Auntie, what was that noise the other night? I could hardly sleep!"

     "You need not worry, it was an experiment by Luna."

     "What about the pounding noise? And the shrill noise last night?" 

    Celestia narrowed her eyes. "What shrill noise?"

     "Well, around one in the morning, I was woken by a shrill noise! It continued for over an hour! It was horrid!"

     Celestia went to speak, when a rather loud conversation started outside the doors. Celestia strained her ears to hear it. "...ve a fuck is she's in there or not! Just show me where I can get breakfast!"

     "No way we are leaving our post, this is obviously a trap!"

     "Are you kidding me? I just want to eat! I'm starving!" 

    "Why don't you eat what's in that bottle?"

     "I need water for it, dumbass. Just point in the general direction! Damn."

     Celestia heard enough, her horn emitted a bright glow, throwing open the doors, to reveal two guards with their horns glowing, and a very angry human, with his blue shaker. The guards snapped to attention when they realized the doors opened. "Princess! This thing was wanting entrance to the throne room during day court."

     "Thing? Are you kidding me?" DJ looked straight at the guard. "Bitch, this thing has a name!"

     "DJ!" Celestia said, rather loud. He turned his eyes to the white alicorn. "Is it necessary for you to speak that way to the guards?" 

    He smiled. "I always talk shit, just who I am." DJ raised his shaker. "Any clue where I could grab breakfast?" 

    She smiled a little. "Why don't you join us? We were going to have some here very soon." 

    He shrugged. "Sure, I guess Luna spoke with you?"

     She nodded. "She told me how it was all a mistake. You are not really an evil force, but a lost foal." 

    DJ sighed. "I guess I should apologize." He looked around the courtroom at all the ponies staring with strange looks. "You bitches g..."

     "DJ..."

     He let out another sigh. "Sorry. Anyway, I apologize for acting the way I did. It was uncalled for, using my people's jargon. I thought this was a dream, and well... I thought this wasn't real. I was just saying things to keep my subconscious from flippin' shit." Blueblood stood up, about to say something, when DJ pointed his finger at him. "Sit 'cho ass down! I ain't done!" Blueblood looked livid, but did take his seat. "Anyway, I just want to say, I'm sorry."

     Celestia smiled. "The dungeon did something then?"

     DJ waved his hand at Celestia. "Just had some tim..." He was cut off by magic blast to the chest, sending him flying into a wall ten yards behind him.

     "Do not worry, Princess! I will protect you from the monster!" A blue noble yelled, charging his horn for another blast.

     DJ stood up, shaking. "Do it again ya little bitch! See what happens!" He yelled as he spit a large amount of blood onto the floor. "Come get some!"

     "Enough!" Celestia's voice sounded. "Guards, please escort Sir Flow out of the castle."

     He snickered. "Probably best, wouldn't want to hurt the thing."

     "Actually, I am doing it for your safety, while DJ may not have magic, he does have tools that could best you easily." 

    "Damn straight!" DJ yelled. He looked around the room. "Erm, where do I sit, exactly?"

     "Princess! This is absurd! Why should I leave?" He asked as two guards walked up beside him.

     "Well, you just attacked a guest that has done nothing to you. He could press charges." Celestia looked to DJ. "If you like, you could take the seat by mine?"

     DJ nodded. "Sounds great." He made his way to the open space by Celestia, eying the blue unicorn the whole time. "So, when is breakfast?"

     Celestia looked at a large clock on the wall. "About five minutes. We were discussing the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala, would you like to join our conversation?" 

    DJ shook his head. "Actually, I just want to go home. So I don't plan on being here much longer." 

    Celestia let out a sigh. I knew he would bring that up. "Did Luna not tell you?"

     DJ looked up as he pulled the headphones through his shirt. "No, I kinda ended the dream early, I wasn't in a talking mood."

     Celestia looked into DJ's icy eyes. "The spell that brought you here... was one way." 

    "What are you saying?" 

    "We will have to find a different way to get you home. The spell that was used was simply for bringing in things. When we try to send things back through, they burn on contact with the portal." 

      DJ's face fell. "So... I can't go home?"

     Celestia gave a small smile. "I never said that, I just said that the portal we used to get you here, couldn't send you back. There is most likely a spell that could send you back, somewhere in our library."

     "How long would it take to find it?"

     Before she could speak, Celestia was interrupted by multiple unicorns in black and white suits, giving menus to all the nobles. Fear entered their eyes when they saw DJ, but he received a menu, still. "What will you be having today?" Entered the large room.

    "The usual." Celestia said to the waiter.

     "Of course, and for you.... sir..." the waiter looked at DJ.

     "Gimme a minute, forgot I gotta eat vegitarian crap here." He scanned the menu. "Yeah, how much is this fruit bowl?"

     "This is the day court, sir... everything is complimentary." 

    "Ah, sweet! I'll take five, and a large glass of water." DJ said with a smile, handing the menu back to the waiter. He looked back at Celestia. "You were saying?"

     "I do not know how long it would take to find the spell. But I can assure you, I will personally look for it." 

    "Which brings me to another point." DJ leaned forward. "I can't just mooch off the government for everything I need, what am I? A democrat? No. I need a job, my own money. There is a problem with this, though. I am an alien in your world, the odds I am going to get hired anywhere are slim to none." 

    Celestia smiled, looking at DJ's fingers. "Oh, I think I know a place that would hire you." 

    "Really? Where?" He asked, leaning back as the waiter dropped the bowls in front of him, as well as the water.

     "Have you ever heard of the 'Canterlot Luxury Spa?"

     DJ looked up to Celestia, shaking the white contents of the shaker into a liquid. "You're joking, right? No way in hell I'm working at a spa." 

    She nodded. "You don't have to shine hooves or give mud baths, you could sweep the floors?" Until they convince you otherwise.

    "And what makes you think they'll hire me?" He asked, tilting his head back, chugging the liquid. 

    She shrugged. "Just a hunch." She turned to the court. "Now, back to business. We need some new ideas for this year's Gala."  

     DJ laughed a little. "I'm out." He placed the buds in his ears, turning the music to the max.

     Blueblood looked at the alien in disgust. "That isn't going to be there, is it?" He said, pointing to DJ, who had his eyes closed, bobbing his head, munching on an apple. 

    Celestia looked to DJ. "I am unsure, maybe it would be a good way to alert the public of his being here?" 

    "You can't be serious! Look at it!" He protested. 

    Celestia looked to DJ, who was mouthing some rather vulgar words. "Why not? Maybe he can tell us some of his stories, or teach us his game?"

     "Games? Auntie, this is a formal party! We do not need games."

     Celestia smiled. "His game is not like those that Pinkie Pie from Ponyville brought. These games..." Celestia used her magic to raise DJ's arm up. 

    "Yo, what the fuck are you doing?" He asked, trying to brush off the aura of light.   

     "...Require much more strategy, strength, and stamina." His scars were brightened, showing every mark. She released his arm, receiveing a death glare, but eventually faded away. 

    "So not only is he an alien, but he is prone to violence! Just look what he did to Cash Flow!" 

    DJ removed a headphone. "Great time to transition songs, 'eh? What was your name again? 'White snobby bitch?' WSB, sweet. Now listen here, I didn't do shit."

     Blueblood started to frown. "How dare you! I am royal blood!" 

    DJ laughed. "Born and raised in 'Merica, buddy. I don't buy into that monarchy shit. I don't give two shits who you're related to. But, for the sake of the matter, who are you related to? How do you posses royal blood?"

     "I am his aunt." Celestia spoke up. "I believe we need to keep this room in a state of peace. I wish for both of you to silence yourselves unless you have something important to say."  

      DJ gave a half ass salute. "Yes'm." He put his headphone back in, tilting his phone sideways. Celestia leaned back to see what was happening on the screen. A green field with a large blue N in the center, multiple bipeds running around.

     "DJ, is this your game?" Celestia asked, taking out DJ's headphone again. 

    He smiled a little. "Yeah, this was the first of the year, against Chick." 

    "Would you mind explaining what's going on?" She asked.

     DJ leaned forward. "Sure, you see, right now, we are on defense. See those two?" DJ pointed to the coaches on the sidelines. "They give us the call. Right now, it is black seven."

_______________________________________________________________________

     This is fucking embarrassing! DJ screamed in his head as he grabbed another bottle of lotion. That day, Celestia took DJ to one of the only places that would potentially hire him. The Canterlot Luxury Spa. He protested, but was eventually convinced otherwise when he was told it could very possibly be the only job he could land until after the Gala, when he would be introduced to the public. 

    When he first applied, he was only wanting night duty clean up, prepping everything for the next day, but somehow or another, he got dragged into renovating a back room that was hardly used, into a massage room, with the speakers and subs from his truck to play music. He set up a playlist of his calmest dubstep songs, mainly made up by Lindsey Sterling.  

     When he learned the real reason behind the new room, he wanted to quit, right there. But, being the only job he could land, he had to stay. His only legitimate argument besides "I don't want to, dammit!" was that he had no training. No way to really perform the way that would satisfy a customer. He thought it was a solid plan, until he was put into personal training for two weeks. 

      He hated every bit of it. But, even though he does, he can't say he hates his job. His pay is outrageous, and the tips are higher than a thirty year old pot head. Reason being, the little things on his hands called fingers. He didn't know what it was about them, but all his customers had a similar reaction, complete relaxation. His customers never saw him though, it was a rule of the room. They walked in, laid on the table, got their message, and left. Sometimes, he would see the same pony multiple times in one day.  

     As DJ finished the latest customer, he wiped his hands on a towel, and went back behind the curtain. "Thank you for coming to Canterlot Luxury Spa, I hope you enjoyed your stay. Have a nice day." He said in the "cheery" voice that was mandatory for all employees.

     "No, thank you!" The customer said, closing the door behind her.

     DJ let out a long breath of air, checking his watch. "That should be it, closin' time." He said, pulling his phone off the auxiliary cable. It was amazing to him, his phone stayed at full battery, and he never charged it. He looked at the calendar on the wall behind the one way mirror into the entrance. "Alright, I have six in a row tomorrow, wait about thirty minutes, then all my regulars." He said, punching the new information into his own calendar on his phone, opening his calculator. "Okay, so the six, with the normal thirty, that'll be around nine-hundred bits, before I add in the tips." 

    He watched Gentle Hooves lock the door, turning to the black window. "Alright, you can come and collect your money.." 

    DJ walked around to the front, grabbing the large jar of coins. "All eight-hundred in here?" 

    She laughed a little. "Of course, I'm thinking of raising your pay even more. It's forty per massage right now, and I keep getting more and more busy!" She walked over to the calendar. "Do you realize you will have forty regulars by next week?"

     "That's incredible!" He said, pouring the bits into his black bag, which would be safely stored in the royal vault, with the rest of his earnings. 

      She smiled. "I am guessing you wish to head back to the castle now?"

     "But of course, with the Gala just this next Monday, I can already tell business will skyrocket. I need rest." He said with a laugh.

     She nodded. "Alright, just hold still. You'll be in your room in a second." Her horn lit up, wrapping DJ in a soft white glow, a large flash, and DJ fell to the floor in his room.

     "So much better than walking." He said, tossing the bag to the side. "Just wish it was possible to fix 'Lil Red."

______________________________________________________________ 

    "Girls! Girls!" Rarity yelled, running into the small restaurant. "I have great news!" 

    Twilight and her friends looked at the white unicorn. "What is it?" Twilight had been asked by Princess Celestia to help with the Gala this year, instead of just attend, so they had to get there a couple days early.  

     "I got us all appointments for the Canterlot Luxury Spa!" She squeed. 

    "We already had appointments?" Applejack said, curiosity in her voice.

     "I know, but I did even better!"

     "Better?" Rainbowdash flew over to Rarity. "I already don't want to go, what could make it better?" 

    Rarity smiled. "A friend told me of a new stallion that only does massages there, and he is absolutely wonderful!" 

    Twilight had a look of concern on her face. "A stallion?"  

     "Well, Twilight, he isn't just any stallion. He makes you melt in his hooves, while a soothing violin fills the air, as he talks to you about your day." She looked around. "But it's strange, she said that nopony has ever seen him. But he is worth every bit!" 

    "Oh, how much did it cost?" Fluttershy asked.

     Rarity waved her hoof. "No need to talk about that." She looked at Twilight. "It is the day after we land. You are first to get it."  

     Twilight was taken back. "Why me?"

     "Oh, you've been so worried about the Gala and the human, you need to relax." She wrapped a hoof around her purple friend. "And he will do just that, make you feel like there's absolutely nothing going on."

     "Well, I guess you're right." She looked at Rarity. "But, what is his name?"

     "He calls himself 'DéJà.'" 

    Pinkie jumped out of her chair. "Oh! Like déjà vu?" 

    Rarity looked at Pinkie. "Exactly like that." She laughed a little. "Very exotic, isn't it?" 

    Applejack rubbed her shoulders. "I guess 'ah could use a massage."

     Twilight looked at her friends. "Well, it's getting late, and we have a train to catch tomorrow. I'll see you girls later." They all said goodbye, and Twilight made her way back home, where she would spend another sleepless night thinking about the alien and the most important party of the year.

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Edited by Sanity Next Chapter: Double the fun, double the stress Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 21 Minutes