"Tyler! If that was you, I swear to God, I'll break your fucking neck!" DJ yelled through the holes in the floor.

     "Please, calm down." Celestia said as she started moving towards DJ. She had earlier received a letter from Twilight, knowing something big had happened. And DJ was the big thing that happened.

     "Are you serious? Calm down? That jackass has my baby, and about hit me with it, and you two are pulling the biggest prank ever! Even bigger than when we stole that stuffed bear! And you expect me to calm down?"

     Celestis looked at the holes in the floor. "I am afraid to tell you that the cause of your 'baby' going off was a curious scientist, not your friend."

     DJ looked up at Celestia. "Seriously, cut the crap. It's over. I know everything."

     Luna walked by Celestia, but looked at DJ. "I hate to tell you, but this isn't a prank. This is very real."

     DJ's face started to slowly fall from the bright smile, to a look that could rival Fluttershy's Stare. "What?"

     "You are not in Oklahoma. You are in Canterlot, Equestria. You are currently in a hospital recovering from a horrible accident."

     His eyes stayed locked on Luna's. She felt like the icey blue eyes were peering into her soul as they dilated, and started to turn to a more grey color. "Bullshit. That's impossible."

     Luna took a deep breath. "We found a set of armor with your 'truck.' Would you be willing to explain what you do?"

     DJ looked at the ground, his face was turning a ghostly white. "This isn't happening... I was set! Everything was ready! I just had to sign the papers! Finish this year!"

     "We understand you must be upset. Bu..." Celestia started, only to get cut off.

     "Understand? Are you kidding me? You think you understand?! You don't understand. You have never been in my shoes. I was at the top! I was it! I was the pride of Noble! I had a full ride to college, where I could fulfill my dreams!" DJ stared at Celestia. "And now I'm in a hospital bed with talking fucking horses!"

     "Well..." Luna started.

     "Why am I here anyway! I should be dead! That would have saved me the humiliation!" DJ's face quickly turned from rage, to pain. "Mom.... Dad.... I wonder what they're doing..."

     "DJ, we know that you are going through a lot right now. But could you answer our question?"

     DJ's rage was back. "Answer mine first! How the fuck did I get here?"

     Celestia looked over to Luna. Luna lowered her head. "I... I was trying to make Tia proud. I wanted to save something from disharmony, like her. But better..."

     DJ started a sarcastic clap. "Well done, I bet she's real impressed." DJ looked at Celestia. "Where's my truck?"

     She gave a frown. "Now you will answer our question. We found a set of armor. What did you do where you're from?"

     DJ looked around, before letting out a sigh. "I apologize. I'm just..."

     "We know." Luna said, hiding her silent sobs. "Now, our question."

     DJ let out a long breath of air. "Where to begin? The 'armor' you found, is just padding. Just to keep me from breaking something, and allowing me to hit harder. I made a few... adjustments, such as the butterfly collar on the back, which helps absorb blows. My helmet was a brand new Revo DNA, I got to take it out of the plastic my freshman year. Every mark is my doing."

     "And the shoes and gloves?" Celestia threw in.

     "Cleats are for traction, gloves just offer a layer of protection between my skin and the other bastard's pads. Keeps me from bleeding, see here..." DJ raised his right hand, revealing a scar that went from his pinky finger to his middle finger. "Got that the first day of practice my Junior year, forgot my gloves in my locker, and didn't have time to grab them. So I practiced without them. Well, I went to shuck a linemen, and an old screw from his pads tore the skin right off."

     "That's what the armor does, what do you do?" Luna asked

     DJ rubbed his hands together. "I think I deserve to see my truck now. I have cooperated... for the most part."

     "Your truck is being taken apart, being searched for any more weapons."

     DJ's eyes got wide. "Don't you fucking dare take Lil' Red apart." DJ looked at the holes in the ground. "Shouldn't we be more concerned with the fact that a SHOTGUN JUST BLEW A HOLE IN THE FLOOR?"

     Luna looked at the holes. "Yes, I suppose that could be a problem..."

     DJ laughed. "Could be? In the wrong hands, that is a very dangerous tool!"

     Celestia looked at DJ with concern. "If it is dangerous, would you mind explaining why it was in your truck?"

     "See these?" DJ pointed to his canines. "These are for more than just show. I eat meat. I like to know where my food comes from, so." He made the the motion of pumping the shotgun, and yelled. "Bang! I hunt for the good stuff. It always tastes better when you kill or find it."

     "You will not hunt us! We are no..." Luna started before DJ hushed her.

     "Shhhh.... horse is taboo in my culture." He said with a smile amd wink.

     "Oh... well, ummm..." Luna was lost with her words.

     Celestia decided to speak up. "Back to the question, that you keep skipping around. What did you do?"

     He put his hands behind his head. "I'm a Maniac. A head hunter. I read what people do based on how they move, and I make them pay for it."

     "Are you a warrior, of some kind?"

     DJ laughed. "A Willie? Hell no! Outside backer isn't my position. I was an Evil once, if that counts?" DJ thought back to his freshman year as the strong side defensive end.

     Celestia was confused. "I don't understand what you're saying... Are you evil?"

     "Oh, shit, look at the time! I answered your question!" DJ clapped his hands together, emitting a loud pop. "Now, where's my truck?"

     "This sucks dick!" DJ yelled through the door to the cell. He held the bag of fluids over his head still, and had a small corner of the room for vomit. He heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs. "Hey! Peckerhead!" The guard started to walk by DJ's cell. "Psssssst! Hey! 'Mere ya little bitch!" The guard continued to walk, ignoring his statement. "You have a small penis!" DJ yelled as he rounded the corner. He leaned against one of the walls, pulling the phone and headphones out of his pocket. At least they let me keep these, I'm still worried about the gun though...

______________________________________________________________

     Twilight sat on the floor in her friend's home. While the other five ponies were having a great time, enjoying themselves with games, gossip, and laughter, Twilight was unable to get the strange reading out of her head. It's impossible for something that big just just pop up! She felt a hoof on her shoulder.

     "Ya alright, sugarcube?" Applejack asked.

     Twilight looked up at her orange friend. "Wha? Oh, yes. I'm fine, just..."

     Pinkie hopped over to Twilight and Applejack. "Twilight saw a giant magical spike on one of her do-hikeys, and a human came to Equestria!"

     Twilight shook her head. "Pinkie, I can assure you, it wasn't a human. They don't possess magic like us."

     "A human? You mean them old myth fellers that were twice as tall as us ponies? Had long things on their hooves, and stood on two legs?" Twilight nodded. "Well, I don't see how one of them could get here..."

     Pinkie was hanging from the ceiling. "Simple! Princess Luna was bored, and wanted to impress Princess Celestia! So she decided to do like her and sense disharmony and save it, but she wanted to go bigger! So she opened a portal to another world and poof!" Pinkie fell to the ground in a leaf like motion. "Human in Equestria!"

     The other five ponies just stared at Pinkie. Rainbow Dash finally spoke. "I bet I could take it, doesn't sound too tough!"

     Twilight looked up at the pegasus. "You realize one of the myths contains an object that could cover Equestria in ash and flames? And even those that survive the initial blast, still get hit with the residue?"

     "W-w-why would somepony do that?" Fluttershy asked.

     Twilight looked over at her yellow friend. "Well, it's hard to say. Some myths say war, others say a religious debate. It all depends on which one you read."

     "They sound so barbaric!" Rarity said.

     Before Twilight could answer, there was a knock on the door. Rarity walked over, opening the door to a panting spike. "Princ..." *gasp for air* "Celest..." *gasp for air* "Lette..." *gasp for air*

     Twilight grabbed the letter from Spike, a photo attatched to the bottom. She read the letter out loud. "Dear, Twilight. Your machine was correct in picking up the magical anomaly. Last night, Luna decided to try and open a portal to a new world to impress me..."

     "Told you!" Pinkie said.

     Twilight kept reading. "She succeeded. However, instead of bringing a creature into the world by dragging it through the portal, it instead rolled through in a machine that its calls a 'truck.'" Twilight lowered the letter. "Wait, it speaks Equestrian?" After numerous shrugs, she continued to read. "The creature that calls itself 'DJ' had been slipping in and out of consciousness. Luna tried once to enter his dreams, but was unaware of his knowledge on sleep. He was able to conjure two pieces of metal, similar to the 'shotgun' we found in his machine, which spit fire at her. The second time, she was able to wake him.

     "We have found multiple books and pieces of information to help find out what he is. The picture attached is a full body photooof the creature. If you happen to know what it is, I ask you write me back immediately. He is currently being held in the dungeons for admitting to being a 'maniac' and 'evil.' Your teacher, Princess Celestia."

     Twilight looked at the picture, eyes wide at the sight. Pinkie was right! The creature was covered in scars, had things on his hooves, and was a biped, jusg by looking at the muscle structure.

     Pinkie looked at the picture. "I told you!" She said. "Nopony ever listens to me!"

     Applejack observed the picture. "Aweful lot of scars it's got."

     Rarity looked at the picture too. "He, my dear Applejack. This creature is obviously a male."

     Rainbowdash just stared, she wouldn't admit it, but she was a little scared of the creature in the picture. "He's not that big..."

     Twilight continued to stare at the photo. "So, if humans are real, and one is in Equestria..." Twilight turned to her friends. "Did it bring any of its friends?"

     Fluttershy sneaked a peak at the picture. "Poor thing, look at all his bruises! He must be in a lot of pain."

_________________________________________________________________

     Luna was walking through the dungeon corridors. He said that he was evil. Was, as in past. He also said that he is a maniac. Present. She was getting closer to his cell, she wanted to talk to him about the evil. While she didn't understand him being in an unknown land, and saw how upset he got, she did understand having a dark past. Chills went down her spine at the thought.

     The closer she got, the louder a strange pounding noise made itself known. At first, it was random, but she eventually found the beat. It sounded similar to a beat for a military drum. The halls were eventually filled with a voice.

     "I was supposed to be the soldier

     Who never blows his composure

     Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders"

     Luna continued down the hall to the cell holding DJ, the voice getting louder and louder.

     "I ain't never supposed to show it

     My crew ain't supposed to know it

     Even if I go toe to toe with the Benzino, it don't matter."

     Lun was looking through the small window in the door to DJ's cell, he was pacing back and forth, pounding on his chest.

     "I'd never drag him to battles I can't handle

     Unless I absolutely have to

     I'm supposed to set an example.

     I need to be a leader

     My crew looks to me to guide 'em

     And if some shit ever pop off

     I'm supposed to be beside them."

     Luna cleared her throat. "DJ?" He ignored her.

     "That Ja shit I tried to squash it

     It was too late to stop it

     There's a certain line you don't cross and he crossed it."

     "DJ!" Luna said a little louder.

     I heard him say Hailie's name on tbe song and I just lost it

     It was crazy this Jay-Z and Nas shit

     And even though the battle was won I feel like we lost it

     I spent too much energy on it

     Honestly I'm exhausted."

     "DJ!" Luna yelled, using her Royal Canterlot voice, knocking him to the side a little.

     "Whoa, bitch! Chill!" DJ said as he looked over to Luna, grabbing the buds from his ears. "So, I am guessing you are either sending me back, or going to torture me. I like the first option better."

     Luna let out a sigh. "No, I wish to speak with you. I feel we have something we can both understand."

     DJ laughed. "A pony princess has something in common with me." DJ started wrapping up his headphones, putting them in his pocket. "That's funny."

     Luna's eyes narrowed. "Wait, earlier you said my name...."

     "Yeah, so?"

     "I never said my name... never introduced myself..."

     DJ let out a long breath of air, and his face had a look that said 'fuck.' "You want me to lie and make ya feel better, or tell the truth?"

     Luna was taken back. "The truth, obviously."

     "Then you can't to anything drastic, nor get pissed when I tell you the answer. Understand?" Luna nodded. "Okay... umm... in my world, ah... you are mythological creatures."

     "Well, that's not too bad."

      DJ held up his hand. "Let me finish. You, and your sister are highlights for this... place. Known well to a lot, unknown to even more." DJ held his hands to his chest. "I am one of those people that study the myths. However, unlike those that use it to fuel joy, I use it to fuel hate."

     "So, you studied something you hate? Why?"

     DJ walked over to the window, placing his fingers around the edges. "If you are about to go into a war, are you just going to run in blind, guns blazing?"

     "We are a peaceful nation..."

     "Not the point. Look at this from my eyes."

     "Okay..."

     "No. You aren't going to go in blind. You are going to study the area you are about to go in, learn the enemy's tactics, their views. Use their culture and beliefs against them."

     "Why, why would you hate one for what they enjoy?"

     DJ shrugged. "I get bored. Now, what was it you wanted to talk about... oh yes! You said you had something in common with me." DJ turned around, pacing the room. "Care to share?" He laughed. "Poet and didn't know it. Make a rhyme anytime." He laughed even more.

     "You said you were once evil.. "

     DJ looked at the door. "I said I was an Evil. Not evil." Luna stared at DJ with a blank look. "I was a strong side defensive end, not a Hitler."

     "Hitler?"

     "Mass genocide, millions of people killed. One of the largest ever, only rivaled by the ninety percent genocide of the native americans." DJ had a little smile. "Knowledge is power, ignorance is bliss." Luna was about to talk, when he cut her off again. "When can I either see my truck, grab my gun, or go home?"

     Luna's eyes were wide. "W-what?"

     DJ started laughing. "I'm going insane!" He slammed his fist into a wall.

     "What's a defensive end?" Luna asked, still a little taken back.

     DJ walked back over to the door. "Ever heard of football?"

     *****12:32 AM Sunday morning*****

     Luna and DJ were sitting in the cold cell, Xs and Os carved into the floor. "And finally, we have the linemen." He pointed to the five Xs and four Os. "They are the beating heart of the game. Without them, the backs could run over us all day long, and on the flipside, no line means no protection. The backs would get nailed every play. The trenches are horrible. Lots of violence, blood, and not the nicest words being said."

     "Is one more important than the others?"

     "No no no no no no no, they are all of equal importance. The center is the one that gets the ball to the back. The guards help the center keep the A and B gaps shut. The tackles make sure no ends or rushing outside backers get around to collapse the pocket."

     "And what about defensive linemen?"

     "The ends are designed to keep anything from running outside the C and D gaps, while the tackles shoot through the A and B, to get to the backfield."

     Luna stared at the symbols on the floor. "I don't understand how twenty-two ponies can all be equally important?"

     "Okay, let's take a look at it. You know what all the positions do now, correct?"

     "Correct."

     "Okay, let's take a look at a busted offensive play..." DJ started drawing lines in the ground, when a guard in black armor walked towards the door.

     "Your highness, you are late for the night court."

     Luna let out a sigh. "I should attend that, shouldn't I? Explain what exactly is going on." She stood up. "Thank you for explaining your game, I feel we know much more about you."

     "I still have to stay in the cell, don't I?"

     Luna jumbled her words together. "Well... umm... you could, ahhh..."

     DJ stood to his feet. "Listen, I just want to see my truck. I would be perfectly happy to go there, instead of this shit."

     "Do not speak to Princess Luna that way, you beast!"

     DJ looked at the guard. "Hey, did you see that? Oh! There it goes again!"

     The guard looked around with his eyes. "What is it?"

     "The fuck I don't give!" DJ looked back to Luna. "So, can I see my truck? I won't touch the shotgun, I promise. Unless some idiot points it at me."

     "I suppose it would be fine, maybe you could help them with their research?"

     "Sure, I was going to try and salvage as much as possible, but research is cool too."

     The guard opened the door, allowing Luna and DJ to step out. "I am going to guess you have no idea where your truck is?"

     "That would be correct." DJ looked at the guard giving him a dirty look. "Aww, what's wrong? Is the big bad monster getting what he wants?"

     "I would ask you don't provoke my guards, they get enough from the citizens."

     DJ laughed a little. "My bad, I just love a good laugh every now and again."

     Luna smiled a little. He and Pinkie would get along great. "Why is your truck so important to you?"

     "Lots of memories in 'er."

     She gave him a weird look. "It has a gender?"

     "No. Well, not technically. Pretty much everything a guy owns that has power is considered his 'baby,' like my shotgun, or is just a female, like Lil' Red."

     "So it would be like a guard calling his horn horny..." Luna immediately regretted what she said as DJ burst into laughter.

     "Oh, that was funny!" He said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I don't think this could get any better." His eyes landed on the guard, which DJ just noticed, had a horn on his head. His face formed an evil smile.

     "No! Don't say anything!" Luna said, using her magic to grab DJ's arm.

     "Oh, come on! You really expect me to let a joke like that pass?"

     "Yes."

     DJ tried to shake off the magic on his arm. "Damn, you're worse than my mother when it comes to stuff like this." His face fell as he mentioned his mom. "Wow. I always knew college would be tough." DJ stopped where he was. "I want to go home."

     "What?"

     DJ took in a breath. "Send me home. Now. I don't even want the truck or gun, hell, send me naked! I don't care! But send me home."

     "I have the night court to attend..."

     "Skip it." DJ had a tear forming in his eye. "Just please. Send me home. I want to go home. You of everyone would understand."

     Luna was about to speak, try to object to what he said, but nothing came out. She had once missed home. She missed it bad.Only, she was banished. She had threatened eternal night. DJ had done nothing. He was just the victim of a horrible accident. One that should have killed him, had it not been for the portal. Luna looked at DJ as a tear rolled down his cheek.

     "How old are you?" Luna asked. There was no way an adult warrior would have tears rolling down his face.

     "What does that have to do with going home?" He asked, stepping towards Luna. "I want to be in my house, with my weiner dog Roxy, my cyberpower PC, calling my friends faggots while we beat the shit out of Vanu and TR, with the annoying cat that I am going to kill someday!" He was face to face with Luna. "I just want my parents. My mom and my dad."

     Luna stared into his eyes. "Just... maybe it'll help..."

     "Seventeen years of age." He said.

     "You are only seventeen, yet, you have a weapon that puts holes in our floors, and a knife?"

     DJ sighed. "You don't understand." He his face. "Please. Send me home."

__________________________________________________________________________________________

     DJ stared with arms crossed at the scratched red metal that was once his beautiful truck. I just want this nightmare to be over with. I'm in a coma right now. This is just a different kind of dream, and that's why everything is so real. Why I can't do anything. DJ uncrossed his arms as he made his way towards the truck. All the scientists just stared at the alien.

     DJ tried to open the passenger side door, the handle released, but the door stayed shut. "I'm sorry, Red." DJ placed his foot on the truck, yanking the door open.

     When he looked around the cabin, the first thing he noticed was all the compartments wide open and empty. All his cash, insurance, wallet, books, glasses, everything, was gone. So much for privacy. He looked over at his stereo. Hello, looks like someone turned you and left you on. DJ rotated the knob, the speakers coming to life.

     ...in to say

     But nothin' comes out when you move your lips

     Just a bunch of gibberish

     You mother fuckers act like you forgot about Dre.

     So what do you say to s...

     DJ pressed the eject button, grabbing the 'bass' CD from the slot. Gasps filled the room, and the scratching of pencil to paper was heard. DJ crawled out of the truck. "Alright, I know you found a whole case of these, where is it?"

     A grey unicorn stepped forward. "It's with the other things, other side of the machine."

     "Gracias."

     "What?"

     "Gracias. You know, what? Nevermind." DJ walked to the other side of the truck.

     A blue pegasus walked towards DJ. "Would you mind if I asked you a couple questions?"

     "Course not." He said as he picked up his pads, tieing his cleats and gloves to the helmet, then reaching through the hole in the pads, bringing all the gear into a ball. "Shoot."

     "Okay, first question. What is this... machine?"

     "This, my friend, is a two thousand two chevy S ten. Not the fastest, most powerful truck on the road, but it'll get you from A to B." DJ pulled up the CD case, placing 'bass' in it's position, and flipping through for 'violent.'

     "So there is more than one of these?"

     "Oh yeah, many more."

     "Okay, question two. Why did you have two weapons in this machine?"

     DJ shrugged as he forced the driver side door open, taking much more work. "Personal preference. I do tricks with the knife, and hunt with the gun." DJ looked at the pegasus. "By the way, where is it?"

     "You said you do tricks with the knife. Care to explain?"

     DJ nodded. "The kind of knife you found is called a balisong, or 'butterfly' knife. I use it seldom for actual work, just for show really."

     "Would you be willing to demonstrate?"

     DJ popped in the CD. "Not now, trying to see how much damage was done to my stereo. I know the truck's totaled, but maybe I can yank out the speakers and stuff."

     "Question three. Would you be willing to submit to testing?"

     DJ looked at the pegasus. "Would you be willing to give me my gun back?"

     "No."

     "There's your answer." He turned the volume in the speakers up, allowing an electric guitar to take over. Next Chapter: The pending madness Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 38 Minutes