[1] Seriously, do NOT cross the Equestrian Janitorial Union.  One shudders to think of what filth and grime may crawl in the darkness of that vile pit of waste.

[2]  Not Goddess of the Sun, as most ponies once thought.  Princess Celestia is connected to the entirety of the day.  The honest and clear sky, the sunny and warm light, the openness and nurturing warmth.  At least, that's how she explains it.  To be brutally honest, her talent was for the sun and sun alone but it sounded better than 'Goddess of the Sun' to her.  Because if you get right down to it, she was a magical weight lifter (lifting the sun up and putting it back down day after day) and that just sounds bad on a résumé.

[3] Just as Princess Celestia is 'Goddess of the Day,' Princess Luna is styled 'Goddess of the Night.'  However, that title was chosen while Luna was in her rebellious teenage years because 'it sounded as to strike fear into mine enemies!'  Most modern historians agree that such a phrase could be translated today as 'it sounds, like, totally cool!' [4]

[4] I probably should have reversed those two footnotes as the 'Goddess of the Night' silliness was mentioned before the 'Goddess of the Day' but I think it sounds good this way and screw being professional.  They aren't paying me enough to be professional.

[5] How and why the earth pony was in the air at that moment in time is outside the scope of this piece but it does involve firepowder (gunpowder to you warlike ape-things), a stack of dirty stallion magazines, a cigarette, and a mistake between a bathroom and a storage closet.  Incidentally, the pony's name was 'Night Flight' and the incident earned her a cutie mark.  As well as an extended stay in Canterlot General Hospital and the city's fine prison system.

[6] Twilight Sparkle, PhD, ScD, BAB, SSC, ETC, etc etc, was properly a student of Group Magical Theory but as the discipline was bleeding edge (and few of the stuffy grey-manes accepted it as a valid study path anyway) the youthful unicorn chose her titles with an air of unrestrained glee.  Princess Celestia had found herself quite taken by the unicorn's emotional 'reasoning' and was now loathe to go through the trouble of making the childish sounding name more 'official' sounding.

[7] That particular muse spirit fled back to her previous host - one Tawdy Pony - and helped her create an amazing array of erotica fiction centered around the semi-divine sisters.  In later years, the law would be called against her and her works would become a rallying cry for free speech advocates.  Laws were overturned, freedoms were gained and Tawdy Pony's name would go down in history as the 'mare that brought divinity to the bedroom.'  Though her husband begged to differ that particular epithet.

[8] The relationship between the few alicorns that existed was, is and ever shall be a complex one.  Despite not often being related by blood - thus making 'it' ok - the magi-electrical energy signatures of the alicorns are so powerful that attempts to identify parentage post-change makes proving ancestry impossible and the religious connotations of any and all alicorn expression makes convincing the general populous of a non-relation status an exercise in futility.  However, the Princesses Celestia and Luna's dalliance only lasted a decade at most and the resultant incestuous fad of the nobility lasted only slightly longer.  Explains so much about the current nobles ... suffice to say, I'm not putting the word 'sister' in quotes anymore and you'll just have to accept that they are sisters in spirit only.

[9] However, the post mark was not and Fluttershy Hurricane was soon the proud owner of a mouth-signed 'Royal Rejection Letter.'  When asked about it, Fluttershy claimed she had been aiming for a fully-signed letter and swore to attempt a tenth time.

[10] Later that week, Night Court would be cancelled four nights in a row as Princess Luna 'dealt with a severe threat to Equestrian independence.'  Though she searched throughout the land, the Goddess of the Night could never find the source of the ice cream shortage and had to resort to simple ice cubes to help ease her over-worked mouth.[11]

[11] Not like that, stop it.

[12] Defibrillators were a new invention in Equestria at that time and though she didn't know exactly what they did, Luna was determined to 'get in on' the newest technological fad.  Sales of 'Princess Luna - Government Defibrillator' mugs and tee shirts were dismal however - especially after several pelt-fire fiascoes rocked the health care system of Equestria.  Turns out high-voltage electricity was a bit hot and ponies are surprisingly flammable.

[13] Parchment, noun.  A type of paper know for an extremely low water content.  Used by government officials, nobles and snooty ponies for its ability to absorb ink fully.  Not recommended for use with double sided documents nor for ponies unwilling to shove their noses in the air at the slightest hint of 'common' fare.

[14] The sigh was reported to be in good health though considering legal action against the Government of Equestria for illegal imprisonment.  It expired before a lawyer could be contacted and conspiracy theorists point to the use of assassins and extra-legal agents employed by the crown as the cause.  That it was a sigh and had a life expectancy of a literal breath of air does not shift these nutjobs from their opinions.

[15] 'Recent' according to the alicorn sisters.  Jibes of such a nature were once the beginnings of wars and feuds lasting generations but the pony-folk had grow rather peaceful in prosperity and though Celestia and Luna were a bit confused as the resultant relaxing of certain social conventions, they accepted the happiness with grace and dignity.  Except for the Head Chef of the Royal Kitchens who had been on the receiving end of a poorly-planned prank from a giddy Luna.  His Oath of Revenge would later culminate in the War of the Pies that would rock the capital in years to come.  Luna, despite being on the loosing side of the battle, reportedly said 'I guess I did deserve that.'

[16] Later on in the evening, a mare of some repute would be found stumbling around Ponyville 'in a state' ranting about having touched the mind of a goddess.  Berry Punch would be taken to the Ponyville jail for observation and would again swear off the consumption of vodka without food in her stomach upon awaking.  This lasted for two days - a record for the happy mare.

[17] Though employment in the Royal Pewter and Silversmith Guild was at an all-time high after Princess Luna's return, turn-over was extremely high.  As one of the distraught smiths would claim 'having a piece of art you poured heart and soul into be destroyed after a single drink would be hard enough but having the Princess complain about the thin quality of the metal was akin to 'a stab in the flank.'  Only when Silver Spoon of the Ponyville Spoons became an apprentice years later did the mug massacre finally cease.  And only after she had created the aptly-named 'Moon's Doom' mug.  That piece would earn her a mastersmith and Princess Luna a concussion - as well as a lengthy lecture from her sister about modern drinking habits.

[18] The wandering muse recently freed would later head to Manehatten, drowning it's sorrows in bad noir fiction and pulp romance novels before settling down in an expatriate zebra.  The mature and disillusioned muse - along with the mature and disillusioned zebra - would spend the rest of their combined lives writing about the strife past Gryphony and Equestrian imperialism continued to have on the peoples of Zebrica.  The fame and fortune the mature and disillusioned works gained the zebra would, strangely enough, remain in Equestrian banks.

[19] It was almost more than she could chew. [20]

[20] I'm sorry, I'll stop.

No I'm not and no I won't.