Turn That Frown Upside Down
Chapter 6: 6: Inside Information
Previous Chapter Next ChapterCheerilee carefully folded the leather coat and placed it and the sword out of sight in her closet. Her mind was turning over the problem of the pegasus observer outside the old bakery. It helped take her mind off what she'd done inside.
It was a shame that she had been unable to do any interrogation to find out what was going on, but her performance would certainly give HOOF something to think about and could cause them to enact emergency changes to their plans. Unstable and panicked was exactly how she wanted them.
Panic had certainly been what greeted the mare calling herself Smiley when she showed off her abilities. Cheerilee had resolutely set her mind against thinking about that. Not because it might upset her stomach or anything of the kind, even the over-the-top violence wasn't anything she couldn't handle; no, Cheerilee was worried that she might start to enjoy it.
It had been a long time since Cheerilee had felt passion about anything. Getting free rein to slaughter HOOF any way she saw fit was...more entertaining than it should have been. Fear and destruction was something she could feel her vampire senses craving.
Even with her beratement of the HOOF members about killing the defenseless, Cheerilee had felt pretty good about doing the same to them. Compared to her, they didn’t stand a chance.
Cheerilee swallowed hard. It had taken many years to convince herself that she was not a monster. She’d done that by trying to keep sentiment out of her job. Bloodlust was just as real as more conventional emotions. Cheerilee wasn’t sure if she could just pick and choose what she felt, and therefore shut everything out.
The lavender mare sighed and went to have a shower. Despite her job, she did not often come home covered in blood, and the drain might need a good cleaning if it was going to be a regular occurrence. Cheerilee chuckled without humor. Plumbing was just one minor skill she’d picked up over the years. She’d become talented at a wide variety of things through her job or the necessity of living a double life.
Stepping out of the shower, she checked the predawn sky. Speaking of skills, Cheerilee could tell at a glance that the pegasi were putting together a nice clear day. The morning would be bright when Princess Celestia raised the sun.
Cheerilee’s keen ears twitched at the minute sound of an incoming communication from Princess Luna, a tone outside the range of normal pony hearing that was emitted from the magic mirror.
“Good morning, Princess.” Cheerilee saw at once that Luna had bad news.
The blue alicorn got straight to the point. “Cheerilee, we’ve uncovered evidence of an attack this very morning at Canterlot General Hospital. This would normally be a job for the Guard, but you are much closer than their barracks.”
Cheerilee nodded in confirmation, but paused. “How do you want this to be done?”
Luna took a moment to consider that. “I trust you to handle it as you see fit.”
Cheerilee said goodbye and sprinted for the door, grabbing a jacket off the rack as she went by. A pair of sunglasses was folded in the pocket and she threw them on her face without slowing down.
A golden beam of sunlight was starting to break over the horizon when Cheerilee skidded to a halt outside the hospital. She slipped into a casual stroll, her eyes still moving quickly. There was no way to know how the attack might go down and she had to be prepared for anything.
A large white van pulled to the curb as she watched. It was unmarked and had been parked nowhere near a loading zone. The license plates showed that it was a rental.
Cheerilee picked up the pace. Six stallions exited the vehicle. They were all holding what appeared to be gift boxes. Long, thin boxes.
She stepped in front of the hospital doors and stopped, blocking the sidewalk. Even through her sunglasses, her glare made it clear that the six ponies in front of her would not be entering the building.
This was not what any of them were expecting. A tense moment passed as the terrorists realized that their plans had been discovered. Then they went for their weapons.
The foreign assault rifles were rough firearms, intended to be used easily by any hooves, equid or cloven. They were not precise weapons, but inside a crowded hospital that wouldn’t matter.
Cheerilee was moving before any of the six had fully revealed their rifles. The first pony’s face caved in under the force of her hoof colliding with it. Cheerilee felt the bones give way, followed by the softly sloshing material of his brain, and then a thud as she drove into the back of his skull. Punching all the way through his head from front to rear would have wasted valuable time to extract her hoof, so she refrained. He was dead either way.
The second pony hadn’t gotten his weapon raised when Cheerilee grabbed him by the throat, her dexterous hooves gripping his skin like glue. Simultaneously wrenching his spinal cord and lifting him clear of the ground, she threw him into the third pony.
The fourth was a fraction of an inch from getting a shot off when Cheerilee yanked the gun from the stallion’s hooves and broke it over his head. Shiny brass cartridges fell out on the sidewalk and also into the pony’s shattered cranial cavity.
Cheerilee jerked to the side, barely avoiding a burst of automatic fire from the fifth pony. She kicked him in the chest, cracking his ribs and sternum and knocking the pony into the air. She grabbed one hoof and arrested his skyward movement, nearly ripping his leg apart with the force. The rebound slammed the stallion into the pavement so hard his vertebrae collapsed like an accordion.
She turned her head just in time to catch a bullet in the face from the last pony. The slug tore her cheek open, shattering the bones that formed Cheerilee’s eye socket. Blind on one side, Cheerilee ripped the weapon from the stallion’s grasp and impaled him with it, the barrel bursting through his back.
The third pony was still alive, having been knocked down by another Cheerilee threw at him. She stepped over to the relatively uninjured terrorist, picking up his rifle. With no support or muscle control, her eyeball had dropped down inside her skull. As she stood over the stallion, it popped back into place. The bones and ligaments around it began to rebuild themselves.
Cheerilee felt the cool morning air on her teeth. The tattered skin of her cheek hung limply, baring her fangs even more impressively than she could normally have displayed them.
There was nothing but terror on the face of the stallion who stared up at her. Cheerilee licked her lips, tasting her own blood and bits of flesh. “Have you ever been shot? It hurts.”
She raised the weapon. The pony recoiled like a frightened colt. Cheerilee doubted he would have agreed to shoot up a hospital if he was timid, but her appearance was simply too much for even hardened terrorists like him. Without giving him time to come to grips, she kneecapped him with four careful shots. The bullets carried enough velocity to rebound off the sidewalk, giving them an opportunity to do even more damage after passing through his legs the first time. She was sure he would never walk again and would certainly lose a lot of blood. Luckily there was a hospital nearby.
Cheerilee bent the rifle in half and gave it a toss. It was time to leave. In the early morning, there were plenty of ponies out and about, and she knew that some of them had probably observed the attack.
Using a few judicious bursts of speed, she managed to slip away without incident. The sun was completely over the horizon when she got back to her apartment. Cheerilee had another quick shower and grabbed her supplies for school. By the time she got there, a carefree smile had slipped onto her face and she walked into the building appearing just as a schoolteacher should.
While nothing could replace her passion for teaching, Cheerilee had to admit that the morning’s lessons were not as engaging as her fight before school. Taking six armed terrorists out of the picture had a clear and obvious result. She couldn’t imagine how many ponies might have died if they had been allowed to attack the hospital.
Cheerilee had barely noticed getting half her face shot off. An injury like that wasn’t serious for her, but she was surprised how easily she’d shrugged it off. She quietly considered that perhaps the extreme violence had simply given her other things to think about.
At lunch the students left the classroom. Cheerilee logged onto her computer, calling up the website for Equestria News Express. Golden had turned her onto it, and she had to admit that it was one of the better reporting sites.
It did not take long to find a headline on ENE’s homepage that linked to an article about the dead terrorists outside the hospital. Cheerilee was somewhat distraught to see a freeze frame of herself taken from a low resolution security camera. The picture did not show her face, however, and thinking back on it, Cheerilee remembered that she had never turned in the direction the camera must have been located.
She should have been more aware of security measures, but there hadn’t been a chance to think about that at the time. Her jacket and sunglasses concealed most of her identifying features, and the picture was rather grainy and dimly lit. Luckily, no ponies standing by had been quick enough to snap a cell phone picture.
The article was relatively unbiased and offered facts and not much speculation, more points in ENE’s favor. That, however, made it fairly short and without filler.
Bystanders reported extreme violence...five dead, one severely wounded...victims appear to be affiliated with HOOF... Cheerilee finished scanning and went looking for another article when there was a quiet knock on the window. Golden was there, tapping on the glass.
Unauthorized ponies were not supposed to be in the school, especially not after the bombing, but Cheerilee decided that the pegasus wouldn’t have come looking for her if she didn’t have something important to say.
Cheerilee opened the window. Golden fluttered in. “Guess who just read a one-thousand-page legal text?”
Without giving Cheerilee time to humor her, Golden pulled a sheaf of papers from her saddlebags. “Have you heard of the Equestrian Free Trade Agreement? I read up on it and did some talking to Princess Luna. It’s pretty clear that this bill would actually make the country less secure.”
Cheerilee nodded, not sure where Golden was going with this, but confident that the white mare was building to something. She let her continue.
“A senator named Legal Tender has been pushing hard on the EFTA. In fact, he’s been one of the only ponies who really seems to care about it.” Golden brandished the thick stack of papers. “Furthermore, some of the text in this document makes it sound like he actually suppressed some information about the security issues.”
That was interesting. Cheerilee knew that not all lawmakers actually took the time to digest the laws they passed, so it was possible that she was the first pony to discover this. Even to a vampire speedreader like Golden, getting through the dense text must have taken forever.
“Good work. What’s the next step?” Cheerilee watched Golden consider the question. The younger mare was not often the one to make decisions. The practice was good for her, Cheerilee decided.
“I think I’ll go see Princess Luna while I’m still on lunch break,” the pegasus said. “She might know more, or know of a way to get close to Legal Tender.”
Cheerilee did not want to believe an Equestrian senator could be a HOOF sympathizer, but that was the biggest problem with terrorists- they wore no uniform to separate them from the population and were difficult to pick out for what they really were.
That’s fine, she thought. They don’t know what I am, either.
I finally flipped over the last sheet of paper from the stack.
There’s a reason I don’t have legal texts for my cutie mark... I thought, groaning inwardly at the mind-numbing reading. A quick check of my phone revealed that it was getting close to early morning rush hour already. In only a short while, it would be time for me to go to work.
Some ponies complain about employment, that it’s terrible and stuff. I never was bothered by work. Especially since I’ve become a civilized vampire, my day job has been a staple in my life. It might not seem like it from the other life I live, but having a set routine, a stability amidst the chaos, can really help me to stay focused.
I worked at a jewelry shop in town, one of the more well-known ones called Rubies and Rings. It’s not surprising given my cutie mark is a golden ring. The owner of the establishment, Silver Tiara, was a nice mare, to the point that I often forgot she was technically one of the nobles of Canterlot. When I had applied for my job there, she personally interviewed me and we got along pretty well; she recognized my talent and gave me the job, and I gave her my best effort.
I slid out of my comfy chair, stretching out my limbs to limber up my muscles. Outside, I could see the early morning rays of the sun shining over the horizon. Several ponies were already out and about, many sporting cups of coffee as they walked or flew. I stood at my window for several long minutes just watching them.
It’s amazing how they can just get along with their lives, I thought. ’Ignorance is bliss’, as they say. I shook my head and got pushed those thoughts away; there were more important matters at hoof.
I turned away from the window and tidied up my mess from the night of plowing through dense legal texts and similar documents. I folded up one of the three copies I’d made of my findings so that I could speak with Cheerilee on my lunch break. What I’d discovered was of potentially grave consequence.
It wasn’t long until I’d finished, and with a pair of small saddlebags slung over my back I left my apartment and took off towards Rubies and Rings. The airways were fairly clear for a workday, especially during rush hour. Curious, I casually flipped out my phone to see if there was any news that might be affecting traffic. Normally I play it safe like a sensible pegasus and don’t surf the web while flying, but with my enhanced senses I figured it was worth the risk.
There was one story all over the headlines, one story that made my stomach twist into a knot. On the front page of ENE was a picture of Canterlot General hospital, several slain ponies lying near the front entrance. Blood was everywhere on the sidewalk, and standing over the dead equines was a towering, two-legged form coated in gore. It’s face was hidden, but I knew who it had to be. Desperately hungry for facts, my eyes scanned the text of the attached article.
I heaved a sigh of relief as I discovered the details. Okay, just some dead terrorists. Cheerilee hadn’t gone berserk overnight. A small part of me, in the far recesses of my mind, let out a breath that I hadn’t known I was holding. I guess with all the bloodshed and slaughter following Cheerilee around, I saw a bit of a connection between her and, well...me. The old me. The one from the forest.
Cheerilee is better than that, though, she’s strong. She can take care of herself. That one small part of me, however, was reluctant to agree.
There wasn’t much else to the article on ENE, so I put my phone away. There would be time for that later; for now, I alighted on the nice pavement in front of Rubies and Rings and trotted inside. The familiar tinkling of the bells on the door greeted me, and I forgot about my worries as I cast a quick glance around the shop. Silver Tiara was already there as usual, busy arranging things for the day’s business.
“Morning, Silver,” I said, keeping my voice light and positive.
“Hey, Golden,” she called back. “It’s looking like things are going to be a little quieter around here today, so if you could handle some of the work in the back room I’d appreciate it.”
I nodded and headed off towards the door labeled “Employees Only.” It wasn’t far to walk- the jewelry shop was a humble little place, but all of the decorations spoke of tasteful elegance. My boss definitely understood the idea that “Less is More”.
I nudged open the door, slipped in, and reached for the clipboard with today’s to-do list on it. As far as workloads went, this was about average; there was a shipment of raw diamonds to be cut, as well as several other gem types that still needed accurate appraising and touching up.
The diamonds were first on the list, so I set the clipboard down on the workbench and unlocked the case that held the unpolished stones. I spread them out on the hard table and picked one from the bunch. A quick glance from a few angles gave me a pretty good idea of how I wanted to cut this one- it had a bit of an imperfection on one side, so I would shape it to an oval and thus remove the blemish.
From there, it was a quick business to set the diamond down on the table and fetch my tools. To get the perfect shape, I stopped my lungs from breathing; it cut out a lot of extraneous movement from my hooves. I also ceased my heartbeat and most normal body functions for the same reason. Such acute accuracy was important when working with high-quality gems like these, and while I was alone in the back room I didn’t have to worry about keeping up appearances.
I cut the rough stone slightly to pare it down to a more reasonable form. The scraps I removed would be ground into dust. When I was satisfied with the basic cut, next came faceting. This was done with a grinding wheel coated with diamond dust, the only thing that could hope to have much impact on another diamond. Slowly and carefully, a pleasing shape emerged from the rough stone. With finer grits, I polished it until the stone sparkled in the light.
Not bad at all.
I set down the first polished diamond and picked up the second, going through the same technique as the first. The process of creating a pleasing gem actually involved a lot of knowledge about material properties and math in order to get the facets right so that light would reflect properly and make the stone sparkle. I usually tried to take a more mature attitude than my normal ditz when talking to Silver Tiara so that she wouldn’t question why some blonde featherbrain was a whiz at advanced geometry and applied chemistry.
I kept working on the tasks from the clipboard. A few hours passed as I enjoyed myself meeting the challenge of making beautiful things. I heard Silver Tiara’s hooves approaching the door. She popped her head in. “Lunchtime, Golden.”
“Thanks. I got a little caught up in my work.” I happily showed her the assortment of stones I had produced that morning.
She beamed in appreciation. “I’ve said it before, but you have some of the steadiest hooves in the business. Maybe we could get an extra large stone for you to polish up and show at the annual Equestrian Jeweler’s Convention.”
I managed to keep my smile, but knew I had to refuse. I didn’t like crowds and the temptation they brought me. “Oh, don’t go to that kind of trouble. You wouldn’t want some other jeweler to get impressed and hire me away.”
Silver laughed amiably and the two of us walked to the front of the shop. She flipped the sign to closed and locked the door. We waved to each other and went our separate ways for lunch break.
I made my way to the school where my teacher worked, carefully avoiding the scene of the bomb. Cheerilee was somewhat surprised to see me outside her classroom, and opened the window.
At work, I had managed to temporarily forget about the mind-numbing text of the legal document, but now I brandished it at Cheerilee as if trying to pass it off to her. Really, it was just residual anger that politicians couldn’t seem to use plain language or straightforward ideas.
Legal Tender, the major proponent behind the Equestrian Free Trade Agreement, struck me as suspicious. In fact, if the information ever made it to the right gossip magazine, I could probably get him branded as a HOOF sympathizer. What I worried about was that perhaps he actually was.
My teacher seemed to agree. It was nice to get a vote of confidence from Cheerilee. I didn’t want to feel like I craved her approval, but telling me I had done a good job made me feel genuinely pleased. And then, she speared me with a tough question: “What’s the next step?”
I fumbled for a moment. Our little organization enjoyed a remarkably direct path to our leader, Princess Luna, but despite that I didn’t want to abuse it by running to her for every little thing. Still, talking to the Princess sounded like a good idea when faced with the possibility that a senator was crooked.
Saying goodbye to Cheerilee, I went back out the window and headed for my apartment. I wouldn’t be caught dead in the castle without a disguise. Putting aside security for the moment, I just couldn’t go there without looking my absolute best. After all, not even I meet with royalty every day.
Princess Luna would be asleep. I could wake her up to ask a few questions about some senator, or...I could talk to her sister. Weighing the options, I eventually decided to consult Princess Celestia. I doubted Luna’s knowledge about the underworld would be needed for this, and Celestia probably knew more about congress anyway.
“Le Madame Diadem,” I said to the guard, giving him my ID. He stared impassively at the card before deciding that I didn’t require further questioning to get in. Security had been much tighter since HOOF began their attacks in Canterlot.
Through the checkpoint, I was escorted to meet the Princess. The tall white mare excused the guard and invited me into her office.
The Princess smiled. She had always struck me as friendly, but I actually had a harder time figuring out how to act in her presence. Perhaps because I was unfamiliar, unused to her scent and body language. I caught myself looking at her smooth, pristine neck, wondering what alicorn tasted like...
Horseapples, Golden! Stop thinking about chewing on the Princess!
My eyes snapped back to her face and I swallowed. “Good afternoon, Princess. I just had a few simple things to ask, and didn’t want to wake your sister.”
She nodded, subtly altering her posture. Her smile didn’t waver, but I observed a slight shift in her demeanor, a little more alert. I realized that Princess Celestia had caught me staring, and was giving me a subtle reminder to stay in control. I felt my ears pin themselves back and my cheeks heating up, but I was grateful that she wouldn’t allow me to do anything I would regret.
“I’m here about a senator named Legal Tender. After reading the EFTA bill and a few other documents, I’ve come to the conclusion that he could be involved with HOOF.”
“I’m impressed that you got through the whole thing,” said Princess Celestia, sounding genuinely surprised. “As for Legal Tender, he has looked a bit off-color recently. Worried, perhaps.”
The Princess was legendary for her powers of observation. That was how she spotted me sizing her up, and also how she remembered the subtle emotions of just one member of the whole congress.
“Do you think I might be correct?” I asked. “I don’t like to believe that HOOF has somepony planted inside our government, but we can’t afford to ignore this.”
Princess Celestia nodded. “I expect Luna would want you to investigate this further. I’m sure you know that it won’t be easy, approaching and questioning a senator.”
I thought for a moment. “Maybe if there was some way to get him to come to me.”
“Legal Tender is loyal to his family,” put in the Princess. “Disguising yourself as a prostitute won’t work.”
I gasped in astonishment, but soon realized it was just a joke. Celestia smiled impishly. I sighed and recomposed myself, allowing a smile in return. I didn’t get many chances for amusement like this. Returning to the conversation, I said, “Maybe something related to my day job?”
Celestia considered that. “I believe Rubies and Rings is the closest jewelry shop to the parliament building. Perhaps Legal Tender could discover something in his document bag and want to find out what it was worth.”
My face lit up. “That sounds great!” Just as quickly, my emotions fell. “But how am I supposed to plant something on him?”
“I’ll take care of that for you,” said Princess Celestia. “We have a number of old baubles lying around that Luna and I could stand to part with.”
“Thank you so much!” I paused, recognizing a playful eagerness in her tone. “Princess, if I may...do you do things like this often?”
She smiled. “I can’t let Luna have all the covert operations fun, now can I?”
I thanked her once more before leaving the castle. My mind was already working on how I would handle Legal Tender when I met him face to face.
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