Small town chic. That was Rarity's plan. It was a good plan and it was working. The Ponyville Day's Festival was in full swing. A silent cider auction, fashion, slow dance, etc. Outside, Logan and Calamity were supervising ponies outside at my range. Like I said yesterday, I had several firearms out that ponies could demo. Inside, where I was, ponies were purchasing the guns they had demoed.

Well, it was going perfectly until a certain unstoppable wall of liquor wandered into the store. "Tran, I need something from you" Nick said with a drunken smile. Under his left arm was a large wood barrel. There was no doubt that it was filled with an alcoholic spirit.

"What do you need, Nick?" I asked.

"I need more ammo!" Nick said in a drunken fit.

"What happened to the last batch of ammo you bought?" I asked him. If I was correct, he had bought thirty crates of ammunition yesterday. How was he out now?!? Sure he had minigun but it also included ammo for his other guns.

"I sold it to Applejack for booze!" Nick replied.

Looking back at Nick, I asked "Can you pay for it?"

"I have booze!" Nick told me. He then shook the barrel that he was currently holding. "I had booze." That was when he vomited into said barrel and passed out.

"That happened" I commented.

The doors opened again, this time yielding Applejack. "Hey Tran, want tah buy some ammo?" Behind her was a large cart that was filled with several wooden crates. Geeze, I wonder what they held.

"Sure" I replied. At least I can make more money off of Nick. Too bad he's losing a lot of money. Eh. Not my fault.

-X-X-X-

The festival was over and I was one of the few people(ponies) that volunteered to help clean up around the festival.

"So Tran, what are you doing?" Logan asked.

"Helping the town clean up" I replied while picking up some empty, discarded bottles of alcohol. "That reminds of something. I need you to hold on to a few of my things while I work." Taking off my backpack, I took careful consideration to pack in my robes, my fleece jacket, my two carry revolvers, Yin and Yang, the Sparda, and my three throwing knives. "These get in the way while I work." You see my loyal readers, whenever you do something that is outdoors or something like work, try to take off anything that may get in the way.

"Really? Well that makes everything easier" Logan said.

"What?" I asked. "What's easier."

"Cleaning your equipment if you ever ask me to clean them" Logan replied. This seems slightly suspicious. Eh. Whatever.

"Really? That's generous of you" I said. "Careful with Yin and Yang. They use full length, multi piece guide rods." Handing him my backpack, which included my belongings, I picked up the bag of empty glass alcohol bottles and continued collecting others.

"Bye Tran" Logan said.

"Peace."

-X-X-X-

Finally done with the cleanup work, I wondered into Rarity's boutique. "Hey Rarity, where yah at?" That was when I noticed that her giant sofa was out. Ah, Rarity's famous sitting, fainting, crying, and inspiration sofa.

Walking over to it I sat down on it and instantly was overcome with a sense of . "You know, this is pretty comf-" Nothing else but silence filled the air as Tran had fallen asleep for the first time in existence.

Later in the day, Rarity returned to her shop looking for Tran as she wanted to tell Tran of something important that was to happen tomorrow. Unfortunately for Tran, there was no way in Tartarus that she was going to willingly wake up Tran from his slumber.

The Next Day

Waking up from my impromptu slumber, I realized something. Rarity's couch was really comfortable. Standing up, I walked around Rarity's boutique. I wonder if she has anything that I could eat.

"Hey Rarity! Where are you?!?" I yelled out, trying to get her attention.

"I'm in my workshop!" Rarity yelled as a response. When I walked over, I found her standing there. Her sewing machines weren't on and I couldn't see that she was working on anything.

For some reason, Rarity had this weird jittery look to her. "Oh hello Tran" Rarity said in this strange lowered tone. "I was just about to go camping and wanted to know if you wanted to come and sample my marshmallows."

"Camping? Since when do you like to go camping? And I hate marshmallows" I said.

"Since this morning" Rarity replied.

"Really?" I asked in a quizzical tone.

"Oh but don't you like warm, gooey marshmallows?" Rarity asked with the same lowered tone. After she had said that, she started pulling on my shirt with her magic.

"Rarity, let go or Opal is going into your mane. I believe she has not been declawed" I said.

"Oh but don't you want to have some fun with me, Tran?" Rarity asked in a pouting tone.

Using my magic to teleport in Opalescence, I dropped her in Rarity's mane like I had said. Remember folks, I never bluff(except in poker).

As Rarity dealt with the obvious threat to her appearance, I walked out of the boutique with on what was happening.

If Tran did have a functioning sense of smell, he would instantly know what was going on.

-X-X-X-

Why was Rarity acting so weirdly? Eh. Maybe Twilight will know. As I started walking over to Twilight's library, I noticed that there was nobody(nopony) outside. Where was everyone(everypony)?

As I approached the library, I realized something. Every time there is silence in Ponyville, there is something wrong. To make matters worse, Logan has my gear and backpack.

Carefully opening the door of the library, I found it to be completely empty and silent like the rest of the town. "What is going on?" I asked myself. It was like everyone but Rarity was trying to hide or something. My first thought was that it was too early for everyone but it was already eleven in the morning. "Spike" I called out, trying to see if he was here.

No response from the said dragon. However, I did get one response from Twilight. "Oh Tran." It was in a similar lowered tone as Rarity was speaking with me. "Can you help me reorganize the books in the basement?"

'The basement? Since when did she keep books in the basement? A private collection maybe? Something that she doesn't want others to see?' I asked myself mentally. 'I hope to god that they aren't trashy romance novels.'

"Hey do you know what's going on in Ponyville?" I asked her as I walked into the basement. "For some reason I can't seem to find anyone but Rarity and for some reason, she was acting weird speaking with this weird lowered tone. Kinda like the one you're using." As I entered the basement, I noticed several chains, random black leather outfits, and several pairs of lavender fuzzy hoof cuffs.

"Hey, what are these for?" I asked while picking up a pair of the fuzzy hoof cuffs. "And why are they fuzzy?"

"You find out in a second" I heard Twilight said. The aforementioned hoof cuffs were taken from my hands via a unicorn's magic(Twilight's as it was lavender colored). In an instant, I found myself handcuffed and chained to one of the library tree's large roots.

That was when Twilight stepped into the light and revealed herself. She was clad in a full body black leather suit and her mane was tied back in a ponytail. Held next to her head via magic was a leather riding crop.

"Why did you hand cuffed me?" I asked.

"You've been a bad boy, Tran... And bad boys need to be punished..." she said as she attempted to hit me with the riding crop.

Instead of standing there, I jumped up while pulling myself up and planted my legs on the ceiling before pulling down on the cuffs, snapping the links and releasing me.

Before she could do anything else, I grabbed her and cuffed her to a nearby root via one of her hind legs leaving her dangling upside down. "So you be on top. You can but you have to start with the ruler" Twilight said.

When she looked down, she found that Tran was missing.

-X-X-X-

What just happened?!? First Rarity, now Twilight? Looking at the fuzzy handcuffs attached to my wrists, I could only spout out nonsense on what was going on. "What in the Chinese devil is going on?!?" I yelled out.

What should I do? Well, I should probably get the remains of these handcuffs off. Digging through my pant's pockets, I pulled out a paperclip and picked them.

Now what should I do? Fluttershy? Maybe she'll know what's going on and you know, not attack me! She's too Fluttershy to attack me. What is going on? Seriously!

As I made my way towards Fluttershy's cottage, I felt like I was being watched. 'At least two people' I thought to myself.

Pulling out a throwing knife(yes I kept those), I turned round, ready to face who it was. Where I thought was my stalker was now occupied by an empty space. I twirled the knife in my fingers as I waited for a sign of my stalker.

That was when Pinkie Pie popped out of my shirt via the neck hole. "Hello Tran! I have a new form of fun for you" she said.

"Agh!" I yelled out while pulling off my shirt. Once it was off, I tossed both Pinkie Pie and my shirt away.

"That's one down!" she said while tossing my shirt away. "Time for the pants!"

"What? Why?!?" I yelled out.

That when I was tackled to the ground. "Good one, Rainbow!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Get his pants" Rainbow Dash said.

Pinkie Pie jumped on me and attempted to pull off my belt but was stopped when she couldn't figure out how to take it off. This gave me enough time to grab her head with both of my feet and toss her away. While Pinkie Pie flew through the air toward a bush, I stood back up and fell back down, crushing Rainbow Dash.

When the two of the came to their senses, they found Tran missing along with his shirt.

"Aww" Pinkie Pie said.

"We must find him!" Rainbow Dash screamed to the heavens. "Get everypony!"

-X-X-X-

Pulling out an empty 1911 and a few mags from a tree, I loaded the pistol and tucked it in my belt. What? I keep extra 1911s stored around town in case of 1911 emergencies.

Reminds me of something I found earlier.

A Few Minutes Ago

As I was walking, I found the edge of the forcefield. On the other side of the forcefield was a large scarecrow. When I looked closer, it was the unconscious form of Nick tied to a pole. Tied to one of his arms was my backpack. Taped to his chest was a sign.

I had nothing to do with this and Nick was drunk and unconscious the whole time

-Andy

PS- Here's your stuff

Present

What now? I want to go to Fluttershy but then again, she might be crazy like everyone else.

Welp, my decision didn't matter because she found me before I made my decision. "Hello Tran" I heard her say. Looking up, I found Fluttershy sitting in a tree tending to a squirrel. Upon seeing her, I pulled out the 1911 and pointed it at her.

"How have you been today, Tran?" Fluttershy asked.

"You're not going act strangely or attack me?" I asked.

"Oh my. No, I never would" Fluttershy replied.

Letting out a sigh, I flipped the safety and tucked the 1911 back in my belt. "For some reason, everyone has been acting weirdly and attacking me."

Fluttershy flew down to the ground and hid behind her mane. "Do you like me Tran?"

"Yes?" I replied.

The small part of her face that was showing was covered in red as she asked "How much?"

"Why?" I asked.

Her already blushing face got redder as she asked "Would you, that is if you want to of course, mate with me?"

I just opened my mouth and closed it, mimicking a fish. After a minute or two, I spat out my gum and said "No."

She began giving me the stare as she began to yell. "YOU WILL RAVAGE ME NOW!!!"

I popped a new piece of gum into my mouth and said "No."

Her pupils dilated as she heard my reply. "What?!? Why didn't the stare work?!?" she screamed.

"Because your stare does not work on me" I replied.

She hid behind her mane again and said "Oh yeah. That's right."

"Now can you explain to me, what in drunken form of Nick is going on?!?" I yelled out. "Why is everyone acting weirdly?"

"Wait, you don't know, Tran?" Fluttershy asked me with a look of amazement. I shook my head. "Once a year, every year, every mare goes into heat."

"Explanorate" I said.

"Well, heat is- Explanorate?" Fluttershy said.

"Explain and elaborate" I replied.

"As I was saying. Every year, every mare goes into heat" Fluttershy continued. "Do you know what estrus is?"

"Yeah? Estrus is when an animal goes through a phase of..." I realized what she meant. "Well, if you need me, I will be on the moon."

"You can't. Celestia and Luna creates a shield around Ponyville when this time of the year comes around" Fluttershy explained. "The shield can literally stop anything. Magic, physical force, teleportation."

"Oh to protect you guys, the Elements of Harmony" I commented with realization. "Wait, why wasn't I notified of this?"

"Huh, I'm pretty sure Celestia notified your friends of this" Fluttershy said.

'Wait, then why wasn't I notified of this? Maybe I can break through the shield. I can just cut through... Logan. I am going to kill you.'

"Have you visited anyone else other than me?" Fluttershy asked.

"I woke up at Rarity's, visited Twilight, then Pinkie and Rainbow attacked me" I replied.

"Pinkie and Rainbow?!?" Fluttershy asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"Hide. Now" Fluttershy said. "If you got away from them, they'll be back with the town."

If I remembered correctly, the current population of Ponyville is around thirty thousand and about ninety percent of population are mares. You know what? I should hide.

-X-X-X-

Gathered at the town hall of Ponyville, four thousand mares were looking for Tran. To make matters worse, that number was growing by the second. Leading the crowd was Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

"Where is he?!?" one grey mare demanded.

"We have to find him!" a beige mare said.

"Let's check his gun shop!" a red mare said.

"No, he's too smart for that!" Rainbow Dash said. "To find Tran, we have to think like Tran. He'd know that his gun shop is too obvious."

"But then wouldn't he know that it's too obvious and hide there and therefore hide in the store?" a purple mare said.

"Nopony thinks that far ahead" a teal mare said.

"But remember, he's too smart for that" Rainbow Dash said.

"Who gets him first?" a white mare asked.

"When we find him, I'll get him first" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm the leader."

"And I help coleadered!" Pinkie Pie said. "I should be first."

"I want to be first" a cerulean mare said.

"What happens if I want him first?" a green mare said.

"I want him first" a blue mare said.

And so, the great riot of Ponyville started. While the riot went on, mares argued, punches were thrown, and no one found Tran.

As the riot went one, the white mare that asked who would get Tran in the first, placed a piece of gum in her mouth and walked away.

"Well that was easy" the mare said.

-X-X-X-

Picking up a muffin, I bit into it. Tasty. You know, other than the cupcakes and cakes, Sugarcube Corner has pretty good pastries.

Welp, time to deal with Logan and the others. Pulling out a cellphone, I dialed Logan's number. When he picked it up, I said "Good bye" and hung up.

Somewhere in Canterlot

Logan, Ike, Alex, and Austin were watching the Ponyville riot from a balcony in the Canterlot castle. Then, Logan got a phone call. Answering the call, Logan dropped his phone after the call was finished.

"Who was it?" Austin asked. He was looking through a telescope at Ponyville.

"It was Tran" Logan said.

"What'd he say?" Ike asked.

"Goodbye" Logan replied.

Out of nowhere, the four telescopes they were using started beeping and flowing red. When the four of them tried to get away, the telescopes exploded.

-X-X-X-

Watching the remains of the explosion from here, I smiled as I bit into another muffin.

Using a little bit of illusion magic, I disguised myself as a mare. Once the process was complete, I stepped out of Sugarcube corner and started walking to where the shield was put up.

When I found the shield, I found that my little home was outside of it and therefore out of me reach. Eh. I could live without it for a while.

As I walked back into town, I suddenly found a rope tied around my hindlegs. In an instant, I found myself to the ground. "Hello there, Tran" I heard Applejack say.

"Element of Honesty thing?" I asked.

"Eeyup" Applejack replied.

That was when Applejack started dragging me. "I need help in the barn" Applejack said.

"Eenope" I said.

Applejack stopped, leaning in close she said in the same tone used by both Rarity, and Twilight. "Aww, but we could do it Winona style..."

"..." I pulled out my 1911 and shot the rope. Then I continued shooting until the mag was empty. "Eenope."

Before she could say anything, I hog tied her with the remains of her rope. "Bondage? Okay" Applejack said.

I used my magic to summon an apple. Then I stuffed the said apple into her mouth and walked away. "Eenope."

-X-X-X-

Pulling out another muffin, I bit into it. Then it was snatched out of the air via gold colored magic. Pulling out my 1911 and flipping of the safety, I held the pistol in a CAR grip.

I heard Tardy. "Hi Tran" she said.

I aimed the pistol at her. "No! I have been attacked by mares all day!" I said.

"Wait! I'm immune to heat. I am both made of magic and technology" Tardy said.

"Oh thank god" I said. "Wait, what do you need then? No one just randomly visits a friend for no reason."

"What makes you think that I need something from you?" Tardy asked.

"..."

"Derpy has the TARDIS" Tardy replied.

"Wait, you're the TARDIS" I said.

"Correction, Derpy is in the TARDIS and chasing the Doctor around" Tardy said. "All day, Derpy has been chasing Doctor. You would have thought that one of them would get tired."

"Well Derpy flies all day while heavily laden with mail because of her job as a mail mare and the Doctor is essentially constantly running because of his adventures."  

"Good point" Tardy said.

"So where is the TARDIS?" I asked her

"In the town hall" Tardy replied.

"The town hall? You mean basically where every mare in Ponyville is rioting over who gets me first when they catch me?" I asked.

"Yeah" Tardy said.

"Well, at least it isn't Monday" I said.

"But today's Monday" Tardy said.

"I know" I said.

-X-X-X-

I used my magic to make myself look like a mare again except instead of being a white mare, I was now a tan mare with a matching tan mane. By now, I think Applejack would have gotten out of her bonds and notified everypony of my usual disguise by now. The riot was over and the search was back on so never doubt the powers of a bunch of temporarily psychotic females.

The riot had already ended and the search was back on. The only difference was that their number had more than tripled. While they searched, I tried to make my way towards the town hall.

"The 1911 is a horrible pistol" I heard someone say from the search party.

Oh I know what they're doing. It is not going to work.

"It needs to be fire something in a smaller caliber."

Definitely not going to fall for it. I have heard this a billion times. Eenope.

"I'd thought that, that would work for sure" I heard Rainbow Dash say. Exactly how would that work? It would have to be said everywhere in order to bait me. "I got it! Check everyone for gum."

Good thing I spat out my gum already. Smart thinking but not enough to fool me. It's a good thing too. I was already within a normal person's throwing distance.

Then I was once again knocked to the ground. I heard my attacker apologize. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" And again, it's Rainbow Dash.

"I'm fine" I said to her.

"I just crashed into you at full speed. You should probably get to the hospital!" Rainbow Dash told me.

"I'm fine" I said back to her. I walked in a circle to show off my currently female equine body. "See, nothing wrong with me."

"Okay, if you're alright, you can continue searching." She doesn't suspect anything.

"Right. Continue searching" I said while turning around.

"Wait a minute. You don't smell like you're in heat" I heard Rainbow Dash say. I knew I forgot something. A few mares, hearing what Rainbow Dash said, started looking at me.

"Well, I have this rare disor-" I started. I looked up and pointed. "There he is!"

Every mare looked up to where I pointed, including Rainbow Dash. While they were distracted, I struck Rainbow across the neck knocking her out and I started running.

Quickly losing the disguise to assume my faster bipedal form, I climbed up the side of a building adjacent to the town hall and ripped out the 1911 I had taken out of a tree earlier in the day. No I wasn't going to shoot them but I could daze them with the sound of the gunshot. Equine ears are more sensitive than human ears. Gunshots are way too loud to be safely heard unprotected.

Pointing the .45 pistol at the dirt ground, I fired three shots rapidly before jumping from the top of the building I was on and into the town hall through a window.

Now that I was in, I just have to find the TARDIS. If Tardy is correct, it's in the mayor's office. When I found the office, I kicked open the doors. Inside was the TARDIS and unfortunately, the mayor.

"I don't suppose you know what this is?" the Mayor Mare asked me.

"You're not going to attack me?" I asked.

"Why would I?" the mayor asked back.

"Heat, estrus, craziness, etcetera" I replied.

"You learn to control yourself when you get to my age" Mayor Mare said.

I walked over to the TARDIS and pulled out my keys to open. If I remember, the key the Doctor had given me a long time ago was a simple Yale lock key. Finding the right key, I unlocked the doors.

Then I realized something. "Wait, you're no older than Cheerilee" I said.

"Good point" I heard Mayor Mare say. Then I heard the sound of the hammer being pulled back on a revolver. "You know what I want. Drop your gun and strip. I know a bullet won't kill you but it can stop you for a bit."

I turned to face her. The 1911 pistol I had in my hand was dangling around my pointer finger via the trigger guard. "Drop my gun?"

"Yes." I pulled my finger out of the trigger guard and dropped the pistol. As the 1911 pistol fell to the ground Mayor Mare stopped aiming the pistol at me. "Good, now-" Before she could finish her sentence, I jumped up and kicked the pistol. Mayor Mare tried to raise the gun to shoot me but it was too late as the pistol hit her right in the face, knocking her out.

Walking over to her unconscious form, I picked up my 1911 where I dropped it. "Psychotic little mare."

Walking back over to the TARDIS, I opened the doors and stepped in.

*CRASH*

"DOCTOR! GET BACK OVER AND FILL ME WITH YOUR TIME CHILDREN" I heard Derpy scream out.

"TARDY! WHERE ARE YOU!?!??!" I heard the Doctor scream.

"Not Tardy! It's me, Tran!" I yelled out.

I heard hoof steps come towards me and then the Doctor appeared out of a room and in front of me. "Tran, I need your help! Derpy's in heat and I've got to get away from her!"

Then Derpy flew into the room. "Ooo. Two of you. Double the fun" Derpy said.

I threw the 1911 at her and it klonked her in the face, knocking her out. "Well that was easy" I said.

"Okay. Let's move her before she wakes up" the Doctor said.

"Eeeyup."

-X-X-X-

"So what now?" the Doctor asked.

"Probably wait out this heat cycle" Tardy said.

"Ten days shouldn't be that hard but before we go, can we make a few trips? I have to retrieve a few things" I said.

"Where?"

-X-X-X-

The doors to the TARDIS opened and once again, I stepped inside.

"Tran, is that a sofa?" the Doctor asked.

"Eeyup."

"Why do you need a sofa?" the Doctor asked while sitting down on it. "I have extra sofas and- Holy Gallifrey this is comfortable."

"Exactly."

Then we all heard Rarity's voice. "Tran! Get back here with my sofa so you can bend me over it and-" I closed the doors to the TARDIS and locked them before she could finish that sentence.

"Eenope" I said. "Next location doktor?"

*SNORE*

"He's asleep" Tardy said.

-X-X-X-

Logan carefully watched where he was stepping. He could never know when Tran could strike. Tran may have been stuck in Ponyville but he finds ways.

Out of nowhere, a rock hit him on the back of the head. Tied to the rock was a note. When he untied the rock and looked at the note, he could only blanch.

Got my stuff back

-Tran

Sometime Later & Elsewhere In Canterlot

"What the hell happened?" Nick asked.

He was in a small enclosed space that was very small. The walls were blue and to him, it smell like a sewage pipe. It was a port-a-potty and unfortunately for him, it was a very well used port-a-potty. "What the hell?"

Stepping out of the port-a-potty, he found that he was on the edge of a cliff on the mountain that held Canterlot. Bringing horrible unbalance to the entire small receptacle, the port-a-potty, Nick included, fell over the edge and plummeted to the ground, thousands of feet below.

"It's everywhere!"