"Toot toot!" Fluffle Puff said.

There we were, traveling at six miles an hour in a small train, trying to find out the reasoning behind the crazy amounts of Rarity-esque decoration.

"Sweetie Belle, do you know why your sister would do something like this?" I asked.

"No though the decorations are exactly like how she thinks" Sweetie Belle said.

That was when the train we were riding changed. While it was previously completely pitch black(I blame cheap carnie prizes but then again it is a working miniature train), it now appeared to be a perfect miniaturized copy of a regular train. The little tires that it used to run on were now railway car wheels. The kind that only ran on railways.  The non-existent windows(no windows at all) that it used to sport now had actual panes of laminated glass. The boxy passenger carts were now furbished units that had everything from carpeting to lights.

Then there's the touches that absolutely screams 'Rarity did this!' There was the gold. The entire train was gold. Then there was the crystal and gem inserts encrusted into the trim of the train. The large red bow around the conductor's cart was another sign.

But do you know what did it? What really gave it away? The fact that she, Rarity, was standing in front of the train and that her horn was glowing with benign dark magic.

I quickly dispelled the dark magic and returned the train back to its previous and actually usable form.

"Tran, what are you doing?!? You're pauperizing my masterpiece!" Rarity said. "Where did you get that dreadful thing from?"

"Carnival game grand prize" I replied. "And what are you doing, decorating everything?"

"Darling, my mind just manifested a rather fair amount of inspiration" Rarity replied.

"Rarity, I can feel the dark magic stemming off of you."

"I don't know what you're talking about" Rarity said. "It must be one of your bouts of insanity speaking, darling. You should really have yourself treated." Well that was mean.

Then Rarity trotted away with a happy stride and a rather smug look on her face.

"That wasn't Rarity" Sweetie Belle said.

"She'll change" I reassured Sweetie Belle. "She'll change."

Starting up the engine, the train began to lurch forward.

You know what I hate the most about Rarity's decorations? How shiny they are. I swear to god that muzzle flashes from Nick's rail minigun are darker. The entire time we were going through the town on our train, I was being blinded by the light reflecting off of the golden ground.

"Tran!" I heard Twilight call out. I couldn't see her with me being blinded by the damn ground!

"Yes?" I said in reply, eyes covered by my eyes.

"I need you're help with something" Twilight said.

"Does it involve getting rid of this blinding road?" I asked.

"Yes. There's dark magic making it like this."

"I know" I said back. I turned off the engine and got out of the train. "Fluffle Puff, please take everyone to enjoy the fair. I need to help Twilight with this."

"Toot toot!" Fluffle Puff said.

-X-X-X-

You know, dispelling black magic that has been placed on dirt is painstakingly long. Luna and Cadance was also called out to help with the dispelling. Even with their help, it took us all day, long after the fair had ended. Eh. I had nothing better to do all day though Twilight, Luna, and Cadance probably had something important to do.

After we were done with said task, Twilight and I started to walk/trot back to the library until we were stopped by Rainbow Dash. "Twilight, Tran, there's a problem at Sweet Apple Acres" she told us.

"What's the problem?" Twilight asked.

"Fruit bats."

-X-X-X-

There we all were, at Sweet Apple Acres. Exactly why did she need the thirteen of us?

"Calm down Applejack" Rarity said.

"Calm down?! How can ah calm down at a time like this?! Vampire fruit bats are attackin Sweet Apple Acres!" Applejack said.

"You know, I always thought the bats stayed in the west orchard" Twilight said.

"Wait, why did you need our help?" Nick asked. "I know we're your friends and all but most of us have jobs."

"This here is an emergency! These bats can destroy parts of the orchard" Applejack said.

"Seriously! We have jobs" Nick said.

"Fine, go back to your job. Ah think we can handle the problem with the twelve of us" Applejack said.

Instead of only Nick leaving everyone left, minus Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Alex, and I.

"Shoot. Now there's only six of us" Applejack said.

"It's kind of true. Everyone does have jobs they have to go to" Twilight said.

"Exactly how are the fruit bats a problem?" I asked.

"Cause they aren't just regular fruit bats. They're vampire fruit bats!" Applejack replied. "Ah'll be darned if they think they're gonna sink their fangs into mah blue ribbon apple." Applejack walked over to an Apple Tree that had a large tarp draped over part of it. There, she pulled away the tarp, revealing a large apple that was taller than me!

"Wow" Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity, Spike, and Rainbow Dash said.

"What in the living fuck?!?" Alex yelled out.

"This here's our entry into the Appleloosa State Fair's produce competition. You know how much TLC goes into getting an apple to grow like this?"

"Magical plant steroids?" Alex asked.

"No! TLC" Applejack said. "Them vampire bats want to shrivel it up like a raisin."

"Oh, I'm sure if we just let them know how special that particular apple is to you, they'll leave it alone" Fluttershy said.

"Yeah right" Applejack said. "Be my guest."

Five Minutes Later

"What'd they say?" Applejack asked.

"They'll leave your apple alone" Fluttershy said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"No" Fluttershy replied. "This is the first vampire fruit bat I've ever met and, well, it might take some time for me to really understand their language."

"Uh-huh. And in the meantime, this pest and his vermin friends are gonna go after mah prized apple and, while they're at it, every other apple in the orchard! These vampire bats are nothin but a bunch of monsters!" Applejack said.

"Monsters?! Oh, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Fluttershy said.

"No, ah do not" Applejack replied.

As Applejack did her magical My Little Pony musical outbreak thing, I walked away towards my store. "I hate Mondays."

-X-X-X-

Digging through my toolbox, I looked for the power drill I so desperately needed to remove the engine from the little train I owned. Around me, customers milled by, looking at various guns while Logan and Calamity worked.

"Pffftftpfpfffttff" Fluffle Puff raspberried.

"No, I will not make it bright pink and fluffy" I replied.

"How do you know what it says" Logan asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "She's speaking perfect English."

"..." Logan looked at me as if I was insane. I'm only almost insane by Arizona state standards(this is actually true).

"Pffftftpfpfffttff" Fluffle Puff raspberried.

"Nah. That's not it. He's just probably going mental" I said.

"I will never be able to understand the insanity that is you, Tran" Logan said.

Crowbar. Pulling it out from my toolbox, I placed the flat prying tip under the engine.

"Hey Tran, how did the day go with my little Button?" Calamity asked.

"Fine. He had a lot of fun like everyone else" I replied. "He seems to really like spending time with Sweetie Belle."

"Is that the little earth pony without the cutie mark?" Calamity asked.

"No that's Apple Bloom" I replied. "Sweetie Belle is the white unicorn without the cutie mark."

Pulling out the train's diesel engine, I placed it on the floor. It was a pretty small engine. Then again, this entire thing came from a carnival game.

"They make an adorable pair" I said.

That was when the doors to the store exploded inwards. Logan, Calamity, and I all drew our respective sidearms and trained them on the door but lowered them when we realized it was only the Mane Six, Spike, and the other humans.

"What?" I asked. "Is it another apple emergency?"

"We may or may not have turned Fluttershy into a bat pony" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Ugh. I'll get the tranq gun" I said.

"I'll get the darts" Logan said.

"It's one of these chapters" I said. "Mondays. It's always has to be Monday."

-X-X-X-

An hour later and Flutterbat was unconscious in a tree with several darts stuck in her flank. "Did you really need tah have shot her twelve times?" Applejack asked.

"Yes" I replied. "Now do the magic spelly thing already."

Twilight's horn lit up and purple magical tendrils surrounded Flutterbat. In a quick flash of light, she was once again Fluttershy.

"Can I go home now?" I asked. Mondays.

-X-X-X-

There I was again, working on the little train inside my store. Calamity and Logan were both gone as I had given them the rest of the day off.

The doors rang as someone entered. When I turned to face the person(pony) that entered, I saw Bon Bon, Lyra, and Vinyl. "Hi Chrysalis" I said.

Green flames enveloped the lot of them and they all turned into two changeling queens and a king. The one that previously held the Lyra disguise was Chrysalis. "No how did you tell this time?" she asked.

"Cause I know everything" I replied. "And Lyra always has her lyre with her."

"You know what we're here for" the king said.

"I'm not the one asking for help" I said. "I can use my time for whatever I want and you can't do anything about it." I pulled out two loaded stock 1911s out from my toolbox, holding both up trained at the three of them. "And I don't know if I can still trust you three." There was a heavy silence in the air as they knew exactly what I meant. "But you asked for my help and here is a token of my friendship." I turned both 1911s into their equine equivalents and tossed them over to the king and queens. The former of which caught both.

"Where's Fluffle Puff?" Chrysalis asked. I raspberried once. "What?"

*Pop*

And there she was on Chrysalis's head. "What?" Chrysalis said.

"Holy hive! It's a paragon of love!" the king said.

"If you take her, I'm burning down your hive" I said. I blew another raspberry and she jumped onto the counter in front of me. Apparently, she's part acrobatic. "Now we need ole sunbutt." I snapped my fingers and a flash of light enveloped the store.

There she was, Princess Celestia of Equestria, one of the powerful diarchs of Equestria, eating cake with the ferocity of a thousand lions between while three changeling leaders and I watched. When she realized that she was not longer at the castle and was in our company, she blushed and poofed away the table and cake. "Tran, what do you need? I was in the middle of doing something important."

"Cake isn't important" I said. "Turn around."

Celestia turned and noticed all three changeling leaders. Immediately her magic flared up and a gold plated Gatling gun popped into existence. Before she could spoil up the gun's barrels, I grabbed it out of the air and pulled off the ammo drum attached to it.

"No. Bad Sunbutt" I said. "They're here for good reason."

"What reason could they have to not be shot on sight?!?" Celestia asked.

"We want to make a deal" Chrysalis said.

"We were just at war with your species not even a year ago!" Celestia retorted.

"Celly" I said. "We're at war with the griffons and they outnumber us. We could use the help and they need food."

"If it's that important, shouldn't Twilight, Luna, and Cadance be present too?" Celestia asked.

"Luna, yes. Twilight and Cadance? No. I want to keep this only to certain eyes" I said. "Don't want to cause too much trouble." I snapped my fingers again.

There she was, Princess Luna of Equestria, one of the powerful diarchs of Equestria, sitting in a bean bag chair and wearing black and blue striped socks. In her sock covered hooves was a bowl of cereal and she had a tired look on her face. When she noticed the three changeling leaders, she flashed away the socks and cereal before using her magic to pull out four night black 1911 pistols out of her mane. Like Celestia, I snatched them out of the air and unloaded them before she could fire them.

"Tran, there are changelings in our presence!" Luna yelled.

"Long story short, they want to make an alliance" I said.

"Does it involve the war?" Luna asked. Well that was easy.

"Yes."

"What do they require?" Luna asked.

"We were just getting to that" Queen Chrysalis said.

In the end, we had our deal. The changelings were willing to help us fight the war. Now since there are still some tension between ponies and changelings, the changelings would fight along with Equestria under disguise.

With the changelings, we effectively doubled our numbers in military might but unfortunately, the griffons would still be outnumbering us three to one. Now there was the problem with their actual military. If memory serves correctly, the average changeling soldier was only a little better than the average Equestria soldier. Even worse, the changelings had no armored vehicles. Fortunately, they did have a lot of artillery.

In return, the changelings were given the ability to collect love from the soldiers but not enough to affect them. Equestria would also have to send some one  to help their hive with some general problems. I volunteered for that.

Now that we were done with the negotiations, we had a large scroll with the contract written on it. After we(Celestia, Luna, the three of them, Fluffle Puff, and I) signed the contract, we made four copies of it and distributed it among us. One for Celestia and Luna, another for the changelings, one for me, and the last for Fluffle Puff which she quickly started eating. While Fluffle Puff was eating her contract, Luna was eyeing her.

At that moment, Fluffle Puff took a bite out of Luna's hair, leaving a small chunk missing. "Is that even possible?"

"It shouldn't be" Luna replied. "But this small creature found a way around it."

"One last thing" I said. I held out Celestia's Gatling gun in my hands and Luna's four 1911s in the air with my magic. "Will you behave with them?"

Celestia quickly snatched her's out of the air with her magic and teleported away. Luna calmly took her four pistols and placed them back in her mane.

"When did you buy 1911s?" I asked Luna. "I never remember you going to my store."

"I mail ordered them" Luna replied. That's right. A few months back, I got an order for four custom full size equine 1911s. Should've figured Luna ordered them. If my memory is correct, the details for the order was to make them night black and to put her cutie mark on the grips. Seriously, how did I not know it was Luna?

"Monday. It's always Monday" I said.

Later In The Day

I was standing at the edge of a stream. In front of me was Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. "So you're telling me that your wagon broke because it was overloaded-" Big Macintosh shrank back. "Lost the map." Apple Bloom Shrank back. "Break part of the raft." Applejack shrank back. "And why did you think it was a good idea to make it a raft with tree sap that can dissolve in the water?" Granny Smith shrank back. "Seriously?" I reiterated.

"It was a simple mistake" Applejack said.

"You're lucky I absolutely love you ponies to death" I said. "Now all I need is-" That was all I said before I was snatched up into the air by a giant bald eagle. "Mondays."

The Next Day

"God damn European mythological creatures" I said while wiping the slime off of my robes. Behind me was a giant dead Tatzelwurm with it's stomach cut open from the inside. "Did you guys get the flower?"

"Yeah" Twilight replied. "Are you okay?" I nodded. She turned to face Cadance. "Then let's get Discord back to Ponyville, make that elixir, and finally get a chance to spend some quality time together alone." She turned to face me. "No offense Tran."

"Eh. None taken" I said.

When we returned to Discord, we found that he was prancing around and not sick. "To the ends of Equestria! To face such great danger! And they did it for me! They did it all for me, for me, for me!" Discord said.

"You were faking?!?" Twilight screamed at him.

"I was but I had a very good reason" Discord said.

"We're listening" Twilight said.

"Well, I was in my thinking tree – that's where I do most of my really deep thinking – I was there, and I said to myself, Discord, your friend Twilight says that she's your pal, but she never writes and she never pops in for a visit" Discord explained.

"I don't even know where you live!" Twilight said.

""Now that she's a princess, maybe she's decided that she's too good for you" Discord said.

"I have never considered-"

"But how was I supposed to know for sure that I'm truly still friends with one of the most important ponies around?"

"Discord, you know what?" I said.

"What?" Discord said.

I wiped some of the slime off my jacket and onto Discord. "I'm leaving."

Later that I found out the slime I wiped off on Discord made him incredibly ill and that Fluttershy had to take care of him.

The Next Day

"Congratulations Rarity" I said. "I'm sure everyone will love how you will present Ponyville." It was kinda obvious that Rarity would be chosen to decorate the town and organize the festivities.

"Thank you, Tran!" Rarity said. "I was also hoping that you could let the town use your shooting range for the event."

"It's no problem" I replied. "You know what? I'll even put out some firearms with free ammo for people to use." Firearms at a town wide festival? Why not? Guns are pretty fun and in the hands of the right people, it can be entertaining.

"Oh but you'll lose money from your store" Rarity said.

"It's fine. The store's revenue can easily make up any amount of ammunition used up. Even if the store's entire stock of ammunition is used up, I'd be fine."

"How much does your store make in revenue?"

Let's see. Every piece of inventory/merchandise sold inside my store is created by me. The materials I make the guns out of, I gather myself. This means that I do not need to purchase inventory from manufacturers. Ammunition comes from an automated ammo press found in one of the storage rooms.

Then there's the fact that I built the store from the ground up and I do not live in Equestria as an Equestrian citizen. That means that I do not need to pay a mortage, tax, or fee on the store itself or anything that I sell in it.

Nor do I have to pay for electricity, water, or repairs on the store. The electricity comes from a generator inside the store and the water comes from an underground source pumped via the same aforementioned generator. Repairs, I do myself.

Basically, every dollar(bit) made in the store is pure profit. The only thing that actually money actually goes to is employees but then again, I only have two.

What should I say?

"Considering the fact I make the guns from scratch from materials that I gather myself, a lot. I don't really have any fees to pay. Employees aren't a problem as I only have Calamity and Logan." I think that was good enough.

"You know, everyone has gotten used to your human form" Rarity said. To emphasize that, she gave a light tug on the current human form of my robes. I did prefer being human over being a pony.

I spat out my chewing gum and popped a new piece into my mouth. "Why are we waiting at the train station anyways?" Well obviously, I knew that we were waiting for someone. I just didn't know who.

"Why we're waiting for the premier fashion stallion of Equestria" Rarity replied. The way she said that had this tone that I had heard before. Where? "Everyone he talks about in his magazine instantly becomes the new thing!"

Wonder who he'll be. "Wait, then why are we waiting for the train? Wouldn't he drive here or something?" I asked. It was true. How everyone(everypony) without wings traveled in Equestria was by car when it was somewhere long distanced. The only reason for people(ponies) to not travel via car is that they either couldn't afford a car or that their car wasn't able to be driven.

"Well darling, a few articles back, he claimed that a hoodlum damaged his car to the point where he had to purchase a new one that's still being custom made" Rarity replied.

A hoodlum huh? You know, I absolutely hate it when people have no respect for others. Always respect the belongings of other people. They worked hard to get it. The only reason you have to damage someone else's belongings is if that if they don't deserve it or are absolutely careless.

That was when we heard the train approaching. Both of us turned to face the incoming vehicle as the sound of its horn filled the air. Once the train docked at the station, ponies started filing out of it.

"Do you see him?" I asked.

"Yes! There he is!" Rarity said while pointing at a very familiar stallion. It was that Trenderhoof douchebag.

The same time that I had caught sight of him, he had caught sight of me. "You!" we both yelled simultaneously.

"You two know each other?" Rarity asked. She was obviously shocked at this.

"He destroyed my car" Trenderhoof yelled.

"Tran, you did what?!?" Rarity screamed.

"He ran me over!" I retorted. "And he tried to drive away!"

Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof as she gave Trenderhoof a shocked look. "You did what?! To my friend?!"

"He destroyed my car! It cost me thirty thousand bits!" Trenderhoof said.

"You could have killed somepony driving that reckless" Rarity said.

"But he's still alive" Trenderhoof retaliated with while pointing at me.

"You still ran somepony over and tried to drive away!" Rarity said. "You would have to go to jail."

"But he's still alive." This is the kind of douchebaggery that I always hated.

I now realized what that type of tone she was using earlier when she was describing Trenderhoof. It was  lovey dovey tone that everyone uses when they have a crush on someone. However, Rarity was now slightly red with anger and had a lot of malice in her words.

Instead of saying anything else, Rarity turned around and bucked him right in the face. Normally, I wouldn't really care about people that I hate getting injured but this time, I actually cringed slightly from seeing Trenderhoof get sent flying back into the train and into a food cart.

"Nice one" I said to Rarity. I was actually proud of her. She handled this situation better than I would have.

"That was unlady-like of me" Rarity said. "But thank you. He did deserve it."

I pulled out a piece of gum and held it out. "Want one?"

"A lady simply does not chew gum." I moved my hand to put the piece of gum in my pocket when I realized it was gone. When I looked back at Rarity, her mouth was moving with the same motion anyone(anypony) would have when chewing gum. "But I am an exception."

The Next Day

Just gotta put one foot in front of another, then repeat multiple times. Make sure its at a nice quiet time or area. That's the key to a nice long walk. Long walks can give you just a nice time of peace in your day.

And that's what I was doing. Taking a nice long walk near the Everfree Forest. Well, until I heard someone(somepony) singing. The voice that the it was sung with had a nice calming effect. It was like whoever was singing it could naturally use their voice as a weapon of peace if needed.

I enjoyed listening to it. I couldn't make out most of the words of the little song but just hearing the person's(pony's) voice was nice.

Drifting towards the source, I found myself at Fluttershy's cottage, giving me the answer to who was singing. Fluttershy. Her voice always did have a calming effect. When I found her, she was putting birdseed in various bird houses and she was still singing.

"You have an amazing voice" I said.

Immediately, she dropped the seed, turned a round, and stopped singing. "Tran?!? How long have you been listening?" she nearly screamed at me.

"Not long" I replied. "It has this nice calming effect. It's rather nice listening to you."

Fluttershy shrank back a little bit as she now knew that I was listening to her. Stage fright. Definitely stage fright. "Oh but I could never perform for anypony!" she told me.

I smiled. "I respect your words. If you don't want to sing in front of anyone, you don't have to." I leaned forwards and scratched her on the head a little. "One day, you might sing for someone. I can see that time isn't now so I should probably leave." As I walked away, I could only wish that I could listen to her more. Eh. Gotta respect other people's desires.

"Wait!" I stopped where I was, roughly eight paces away from her. "Why don't you listen to me a little bit and tell me what you think?" she said.

"Why don't I help you feed your animals while you're at it?" I picked up the dropped basket of bird seed that she had dropped earlier.

And she sang. Even though it was obvious that she had stage fright, she didn't mess up. Every lyric was perfect and her tone never faltered.

I smiled as a sense of peace and calmness filled my very being. "See, you did fine." I spat out my piece of gum for a new one. "One last thing. May I share with you what I learned this week?"

"Yes?" replied Fluttershy.

"Mondays are horrible."