I lie around in the darkness. Nothing but utter and complete darkness. A spotlight appears to shine on a stage. I am performing alone, a worn and broken cello lays on the stage. It is unused and covered in cobwebs. Bones lie around it. The 'me' on stage just plays on, slowly disappearing as the scene fades away again. This is the eightieth time I have watched this series of nightmares. I continually watch as everything moves forward. Mariana is also there, both an actor, and a puppeteer. She looks just like she did when we first met: about 4'5", her small frame in an almost perfect hourglass figure for one of sixteen years of age. Her breasts were slightly larger than Luna's, though smaller than Tavi's.

She wore her usual dress. It was tight fitting, hung around the neck and sleeveless. It was a dark red in color and went well with her deep blue eyes and long blonde hair, almost the same color as Applejack's, but just a tad darker. Her dress ended at her knees, but had a slit along the side to show off her legs, it was just short enough that one could see her heels and stockings. She was a beautiful seductress.

First I am born, then I play, then I start dating Mariana. I watch, helpless, as I fall into depravity. I watch myself do things I would never do now, I watch as I simply break. Bending to her will. I slowly watch as I drop, even after she left I watch myself lay there with strings. Then, Tavi appears. At first she simply watches me, then she takes out some scissors. She goes around my back, and cuts the strings. One by one the strings drop, and I become less like a doll and more like a human. As the last string is cut, I smile at her. We then start to play as our instruments simply appear on stage. As we play a crescendo of sound makes the most amazing symphony of two. Then, I stop, I walk over to her. She carefully sets her instrument and approaches me. She opens her arms to receive me in a hug, but instead of grabbing her in a similar way, my hands reach for her throat. I choke her, watching as her smile never falters. She embraces me as I continue to suffocate her. Strings appear on me again, this time though, they are held by a third me. She tries to, with her hands, get rid of the strings but to no avail. As the last of her life fades so does her color. She becomes a black and white image. The me on stage once again becomes a doll.

The me holding the controls simply smiles and cries. Half happy, half sad. There is only one other difference, I notice it the twentieth time I watch this. The me holding the controls is the same me that was originally controlled by Mariana. It's my past self. I get the message on the forty-third rendition. It's there to show me that I'm still controlled by my past. As the puppet on stage sits back down, the scene slowly changes again. I continue to play, but everything ages. Tavi turns to decayed flesh and eventually leaves only bones. Her cello, without maintenance, slowly decays into a battered, cobweb covered piece. The me on stage decays, along with the piano as I play. I watch as it completely rots away. This is the eighty-first time I have watched this sequence, and I will see it again. I know I am not awake, I assume I am not alive. I can't feel anything, I can't even move. There is nothing I can do but watch, as I ruin my life, and kill Tavi over and over and over again.

'This has to be hell.' I think to myself. There can be no other explanation, I watch, as time and time again I destroy everything I know and love. 'That second gunshot was probably aimed at Tavi, she must have gotten hit. She probably died and it's all my fault.' That thought and that thought alone accompany me into the darkness. 'It wouldn't be as bad if I couldn't feel every thing the me on stage does...'

The 578th repetition just finished. I notice a slight change. As time went on more and more details were added. Vinyl is part of this now. I watch as I destroy her as well. She appeared on the two hundred and twelfth repetition. She appears, and seems to ask me something. I laugh as I reach in and pull out her heart. I take a bite of it and throw the rest away. After the three hundred and forty-third repetition, Tavi is unable to cut the strings, and I skip straight to the execution. After the four hundredth repetition it got worse. I would sexually abuse them after I kill them. I am surprised to watch the stage me taking both Tavi and Vinyl's virginities, I know Vinyl wasn't a virgin when I first met her. She made that clear the third time she stayed over at my place. She had given herself to a stallion that had won her heart to do what I do in this nightmare, rip it out and throw it away. I would have been the second individual to have ever gotten to do that with her; had I decided to be with her, but I like her too much as a friend to allow either of us into that position. It felt that we would hurt each other. Here, the me on a string doesn't care. I abuse them in ways I can only assume stay in the depths of my subconscious.

The scene is over, the darkness returns as it starts to reset. It is time for the 579th screening. Time to watch, there is nothing better to do after all.

Darkness once again lifts. This is the 34,978th time it has gone. Or is it the 36,786th? I can't remember, nor do I care. Recently I hear voices. They sound familiar, but hard to make out. As I hear them pain accompanies them. I thought it was impossible to feel pain in your sleep, guess I must be dead and this is my punishment. Recently the dream changed again. Now instead of killing Vinyl I kill Claudette. Vinyl becomes a victim, following the strings set forth by my hands, which in turn are always controlled by Mariana. I abuse Vinyl, make her do things that no sane individual would do. I must be some serious sicko if these exist to torment me. Especially since now, instead of killing Tavi myself, I use her body and make Vinyl do it. I can see myself, emptying into her as she dies. Then Vinyl coming down to drink the semen that pours out as I remove myself. At first I felt a twinge of disgust, now it is simply something I am seeing before me.

Constantly, watching myself rape and kill Tavi, only to turn around and rape Vinyl, turning her into nothing more than a cock sleeve. I watch perhaps the most depraved acts done by any being, this must truly be hell. I hear it again, a voice is calling out to me. It is more clear then before. I hear it, but I still can't place it. Darkness returns, the rendition has ended, it all starts again.

The darkness lifts upon the stage again. I lost count at some point. The changes are many and if I were in my right state of mind, I would be disgusted. It starts out the same until Vinyl appears. As she does, I pull out a controller and strings attach themselves to her. I first make her her undress completely, her small but perky breasts and small voluptuous butt on full display for me. She simply wears a face of indifference, the me on stage makes this a content smile with a few pulls of the string.

I force her to kneel and take of my pants and boxers, revealing myself to her. I then force Vinyl to lick and stroke me, occasionally having her do the same to my balls, all while simply watching without concern or care, as she slowly gets me to a full erection. As I reach full mast I take her head in my hand and guide her to the tip of my penis. I would then simply force her all the way down to the base, forcing me into her throat. She gags, but does not try to extradite herself from her predicament. After a while I withdraw, leave her have a few breaths, then replace myself within her throat. I continue this until my first release. I allow it all to simply stream down her throat and into her stomach. I can see her throat as she is forced to swallow.

After the first sprint is done, I command her to bend over a table that simply appears. I then force her to spread her legs as I position myself at her entrance, before forcing myself all the way until the base. Finally Vinyl makes her first noises, not of pleasure but of pain. Blood spills out from her entrance in tiny streams as I brutally take her virginity. I take a moment to savor the feeling, as I withdraw to the tip, and replace myself to where I was before. Over and over and over again I simply pound myself deep within her. Her moans of pain disappear, once again replaced by silence as streams of clear fluid pour from her. The contented smile having never left her face.

Suddenly I have her shift her position to being on her side, one leg on the table, the other by my head, giving the me in the darkness a perfect view as Vinyl is forced to take me deep within her. There is no stop until the me on stage finally releases himself into Vinyl. Filling her as her eyes change from magenta, to dull gray. The strings disappear as I withdraw from her. She then turns fully to lay on the table, her breasts pressing against its surface, as I line up to take the last virgin hole on her body. I line up, and force myself within her anus just as I had with her vagina. The me on stage groans deeply, the tight walls pushing him to his limit almost instantly as he floods her anus with a string of cum. Vinyl did not even react with a squeak. Blood mixed with semen rushes out as I withdraw, but instead of removing myself I stop with just the tip inside and ram myself back in. I repeat this process over and over and over again as I quickly gain a rhythm. The blood and semen streams thin as I continue to pump into her over and over again. There is no moaning, no pleasure, no pain, just the sound of flesh on flesh.

After a time the sounds speed up and become even louder as the me on stage climaxes once again into her, unleashing everything I have into her once again. I watch my hand bring something up, a collar. As I still continue to pump into her I put the collar onto Vinyl, and then forcefully kiss her, bending her body oddly to do so. Once I finish unloading, I take myself out and let her down. She takes a moment before standing and turning to clean me off with her mouth. She gets me off one more time, once again deep down her throat, before she heads off stage. I then climb into a bed as I watch her bring in another form, Tavi's. She is bound and gagged, she is giving resistance to her bonds but it is all a farce, there is no knot on them, they will simply come undone when I touch them. I bring up a controller like usual, but the strings that touch her are immediately snapped, she won't break.

I have Vinyl take off her gag, she says something, but they are words without voice. There is sound, but no meaning. Vinyl, on my hidden command, turns Tavi and kisses her passionately. Tavi struggles, but is unable to break away. Vinyl, meanwhile, moves them both towards the bed I am on, pushing Tavi down on top of me. Tavi is wearing her little black dress, but no socks or shoes on her hooves. She continues to struggle, but there is no escape. There is never an escape. I simply move my hands into her body, and touch something deep within, all her movement stops, her facial features all she can control. She is at my mercy as I release her bonds. I have Vinyl go down to Tavi's entrance and begin licking as I get on top of Tavi and line up myself with her mouth. She tries to object, but that is merely my cue to enter. She cannot bite down, she can move her lips but she cannot bite. Her tongue tries to reject me, but the resistance feels good. The me on stage moans as she tries to stop my intrusion.

After a moment she finally stops trying. I take the opportunity and slide my entire length into her throat. I watch as her gag reflex works to push me out, but to no avail. The me on stage has no remorse, only desires. The me on stage takes her head in my hands and start to violently move her head up and down as I thrust. Her muzzle becomes bloody as my remorseless pumping continues, I can hear her pain. Then, I release into her throat. She gags again, this time trying to expel the liquid I am feeding her, but she doesn't succeed, she never succeeds. As I finish I pull out, she coughs, but no more words come out. She is breaking, but as I try and reattach the strings they simply break on contact. She has once again resisted. I notice she remains panting after a moment, Vinyl continuing to give slow ministrations to Tavi's entrance without ever touching her clitoris or pushing herself inside. I decide to take things up a notch.

The me on the stage lifts Tavi up, chains descend from the ceiling as Tavi reaches full height. I lift up her legs and attach the chains at her hooves and knees. She is forced upside down by this, her full weight resting on her legs in an uncomfortable manner. She seems to be in pain as I force Vinyl to move from Tavi's entrance to her anus. I line myself up and like with Vinyl, force myself to the base in one go. Her eyes go wide, thanks to Vinyl's previous work less blood comes out, but there is still blood. She whimpers and begins to cry as I moan out in ecstasy. Her tight, moist walls crushing me, trying to push me out but only succeeding in magnifying the pleasure, as this goes on my foot finds Tavi's throat, I apply light pressure as I pump in and out slowly. After a moment I decide to double the fun. I produce a double ended dildo out thin air and give it to Vinyl. She sinks one end deep inside her and places the other end of the impossibly thick object at Tavi's anus. She feels this and tries to scream, I apply more pressure onto her throat, letting up only as Vinyl forces the dildo in deep. As it goes in Tavi constricts her vagina hard. The pleasure on my penis is beyond measure. The tightness would probably separate penis from man in the real world, but here, it is simply pleasure. Tavi screams.

The pain in her scream is evident, but it is only for the moment, as she takes a breath my foot takes its place on her throat. Vinyl and I pump into her mercilessly. She is distraught, and one last time I bring out the controller, the strings try to attach a third time, only to snap immediately again. At this point I throw away the controller. Tavi is suffocating under my foot. I take my other foot and fiddle with her breasts, I feel her tighten as her lips begin to change color, she is mid-orgasm, throwing away the last of the oxygen her body possesses for one moment of pleasure. Her eyes grow cold as she stops struggling entirely. Her eyes remain open though, staring at the me in the darkness. Vinyl then grunts as she orgasms. As she does she leans forward and kisses me deeply, this sets off my orgasm. I pump my seed into Tavi, but her body does not respond. Tavi is dead, but I want to taste her anus anyway. I push Vinyl out of the way, forcing her to use Tavi's vagina as I take her anus. There is no attempt at being gentle, as before, I plunge in deep as quickly as possible, Vinyl having made the passage nice and ready for me. I continue to fuck her, orgasming into her slowly decaying body. This continues for over an hour, swapping holes and having Vinyl clean me off inbetween. I lose count of the number of times I pace back and forth, I stopped trying when the numbers stopped being the same. I simply use Tavi until she disappears into sand, then I use Vinyl, until the stage reaches its climax as Vinyl, too, meets her end at my hands. I then meander over to a piano, and play until all turns to dust. Not even bones exist to remind me anymore. The stage darkens. the next cycle is about to begin.

Some new cycle arrives. It hasn't changed in a long chain of cycles. Truly, this is hell. I am watching the big scene. I am about to kill Tavi. I am watching myself, ripping off her clothes, she doesn't protest, she never protests, she just watches the me in the darkness, smiling. I watch, as I plunge into her, as she takes the me on stage deep within herself. Vinyl is there as well, she is standing opposite the me in the darkness, her head above Tavi's vagina. She is licking her clitoris while slowly breaking Tavi's hand at my command. Mariana is gone now, leaving me to my own devices for this scene alone. I watch as I begin to ram into her as hard as possible. I can hear it, the sound of flesh against flesh.

Suddenly the voice is back, and for the first time I can understand it, "Please wake up.". It sounds sad. It's crying, I want to reach out my arm and hold them. The voice is familiar. The vision in front of me distorts. Unimaginable pain feels my body. It returns, the taste of iron. 'Why can I taste iron, I already died, this has not yet happened, why?'

The voice speaks again, even louder, "I need you, please come back." I finally see it: it's Tavi. The real Tavi is calling me. Without warning I can move, I stand and turn around. A door stands there, the voice is coming from the door. As I walk toward it the darkness fades. In its place, I am now on the stage and before me stands Mariana. She stands between me and the door, she picks up her controller and the strings attach themselves to my body.

Mariana speaks, using a voice that isn't hers. "No, you will never leave, you will never return. There is nothing waiting for you there, nothing at all."

I suddenly hear even more voices. "He is going into cardiac arrest! Mam, please, leave him to us. We need to get to him!"

Tavi's voice returns, "Please come back, I love you!" She screams.

Mariana simply pulls the strings. "Come now, you have an eternity of pain to suffer through. You who have done naught but placed you hopes in others, you yourself are really quite weak. You can cook, you can play, but in the end, that is all you can bring to the world. Why should you ever return and waste such valuable space?"

The voice from before returns, "He is failing, keep going with CPR! We will save him." The door starts to close at this. The sounds on the other side grow faint. I look to Mariana, her face has a confident grin, she manipulates the control, and I move. Mariana's eyes open wide. I am not going back, I am moving straight toward her, my hand reaching out to her.

She relaxes and asks, "So, you are going to kill me?"

"No." I reply as my hand touches the top of her head. "I am going to her. I may not be the best in the world, but until the day she wants another at her side I will be there. She is happy when I am near her, so at the very least I will make her happy. She is always there for me, and I will be there for her. You were never there for me, you simply made certain that I was on the path you wanted, and now that I am free you try and make it so I believe to be on that path inescapably. But you, you are nothing. You are nothing but my doubt and fears. I have spent far too much time doubting myself while trying to prove myself to others. I have spent far too much time fearing the consequences should I fall back into what I once escaped. Now, it is time for me to live my life the way I want, with Tavi at my side!" As I finish, Mariana, whose eyes are impossibly wide, begins to laugh, but it isn't her laugh. Whose laugh it is, I don't know.

The light of the door suddenly intensifies. "Well done child." the voice coming from Mariana is not hers, but not the one it was before. Mariana smiles and disappears. I can hear the sounds on the other side of the door. there is crying and a long high-pitched beep. I take a deep breath, and run through the door.

Author's Notes:

Damn... I can be dark as hell... vaguely certain there is a song that represents this chapter and the previous chapter... hmmm...