Sagebrush sat outside the front gate of the palace, sitting on a bench. He hadn’t taken off any of his plate armor, but wasn’t very affected by how uncomfortable it would be for almost anyone else.

In front of him lay a book, the pages crisp and--

“Sagebrush!”

Covered in dirt, apparently.

The pony looked up at his new guest, responsible for knocking his book to the ground and placing a dent in the otherwise pristine bench. Eyes wide, breathing ragged and mane disheveled, Eclipse was finally coming into his role as a chaos mage.

“What’ve you gone and done, now?” Sagebrush said, chuckling lightly.

“Luna, meeting, forced, hide, creeper, graaagh!” Eclipse was bouncing slightly, obviously in a rush.

Sagebrush sighed. “Did you try talking in complete sentences? Sometimes, that helps problems go away.”

Stopping his bouncing motion and spreading out his hooves so as to have a better balance, Eclipse started again. “Luna is gonna make me meet someone, but I don’t want to have a meeting with them, but I’m not getting a choice because Luna forced me to agree so I’m gonna try to hide because if I meet the person I’ll let something slip because I’m a big fan and know a lot about them and I don’t wanna seem like a creeper and that last thing I said was a long groan of desperation and other emotions and I don’t think I can recreate it for another few minutes.” After he was finished, Eclipse took a massive breath.

Sagebrush blinked. “You’re asking me to help you hide?”

Eclipse nodded.

Another blink. Sagebrush mulled the thought over. “Hmph. Fine. Follow me.”

Eclipse gawked in disbelief. “I was not expecting that.”

Sagebrush grinned. “Under a few conditions.”

“Damnit.” Eclipse scowled to himself, hopes dashed.

The armored pony sat up, grabbing the saddlebags that were near the bench and used his mouth to grab the massive hammer that was his weapon. “Come on. I’ll explain while we get to the training area.” He spoke clearly, despite the wooden handle in his mouth.

“Training area?” Eclipse asked, following Sagebrush.

“The guard barracks is right under the royal sister’s noses.” Sagebrush responded. “Plus, I think you’ve been misunderstanding my role as a berserk gaurdspony since I brought it up in Appleloosa.”

Eclipse chuckled. “What, seriously? Dude, it’s in the name. You fly into a frothing-at-the-mouth rage and inflict lots of damage. That’s literally what berserk means.” He frowned to himself, still keeping pace with Sagebrush. “Though I have to admit, it kind of came out of nowhere. Seriously, just randomly popped up didn’t it?”

Sagebrush didn’t comment.

“You don’t seem the type, honestly. You know, being all smart and well-read and everything. Plus, why haven’t I heard of any other berserker guards before? …You’re ignoring me aren’t you?”

Still not receiving a response, Eclipse rolled his eyes.

After a few minutes, Eclipse broke the silence again. “I’d like to know. It came completely out of left field. I get it, you know. My entire skill set can be defined as ‘deus ex machina,’ but it still kinda puts me off when other people do it.”

There was still no response from the armored stallion. Eclipse sighed.

Soon, the pair came to the guard barracks, near the royal palace. Sagebrush led Eclipse through it, nodding at several off duty guards along the way, most of whom waved or said a greeting in return.

“You hang out here?” Eclipse asked, hoping to get an answer this time.

“Lived here for a week or so, with Cactus Star.” Sagebrush said, smiling at the thought of his daughter. “Celestia got us a small house in west Canterlot a little later. Said it had a good school nearby.”

“Huzzah! The silence has been broken!” Eclipse cheered.

Sagebrush chuckled, walking for a few more yards then turning to go out a door. Eclipse followed, coming out into a rectangular area of dirt and a few sparse patches of grass. Several dummies were set off to the side and a trio of off duty guards were passing the time throwing spears at a target, with a few bits being exchanged every few tosses.

Sagebrush had Eclipse wait while he left, returning about a minute later a second warhammer like his own. He tossed the second hammer to Eclipse, the weapon landing at the gray pony’s hooves.

“First, berserker guards do not ‘fly into a frothing-at-the-mouth rage.’ It’s much more complex.” Sagebrush narrowed his eyes. “Though that’s not the only thing.”

“What do you mean?” Eclipse asked.

“Not wanting to come off as a creeper?” Sagebrush laughed. “I’ve seen you rattle off details about ponies even the press doesn’t know without even giving a single thought as to how it makes you look. Fancypants will never be the same. What’s so special about this meeting?”

Eclipse scuffed the ground with a hoof. “Oh, come on. It’s not a big deal. Everyone has their thing, okay?” he said, trying to dodge the question.

Sagebrush snorted. “Pick up the hammer.”

Eclipse’s ears fell back, a frown edging onto his face. “Excuse me?”

“We’re in a training ground. We’re going to train.” Sagebrush took a step forward. “No magic, no tricks, no chaos. You’re going to learn to fight like a berserker.”

“Eh?” Eclipse didn’t really know how to respond.

“Pick up the hammer.” Sagebrush repeated. “Unless you want me to fetch the princesses and bring them here.”

Eclipse reached down with his mouth and grabbed the hammer. He wasn’t really used to picking things up with his mouth. Chaos magic could levitate things just as well as any unicorn magic. Plus, the handle tasted like wood and the hammer was really, really heavy. His neck was already started to rebel against him.

“Greath. Now whath?” Eclipse asked.

Sagebrush trotted over and wiggled the hammer in Eclipse’s mouth. “Try now.”

Not really feeling any difference, Eclipse rolled his tongue around a bit and tried again. “Now what? Holy-- I can speak normally!?”

“Just go with it.” Sagebrush said, returning to his position several yards away from Eclipse. “Swing it a few times. Get used to the weight.”

Eclipse slowly turned his head to the left. He almost got to the point where the hammer touched his side. Deciding that was more than far enough, he tried to swing to the right with all his might. The hammer swung just fine, but when Eclipse tried to stop the swing, he was dragged along by the hammer and ended up sprawled on the ground, the hammer lying a foot away from him.

The trio of guards that had been throwing spears shared a laugh at Eclipse’s fall. They were idly watching the display and had even moved their target out of the way so Sagebrush and Eclipse had plenty of room.

“Eclipse, this isn’t a sword, it’s a hammer.” Sagebrush said, chuckling. “You can’t just stop it. When you swing like that, it just keep going. Turn in a circle and try to slow to a stop or just push yourself into a second swing.”

“Heh. Just go with it, huh?” Eclipse said, laughing at himself.

“Exactly. Most wouldn’t believe this, but fighting with a weapon as heavy as this requires either a minotuar’s strength or a hell of a lot of agility and just enough power to lift it.” Sagebrush nodded. “I figured your go with the flow attitude would be a good compliment, as that’s half of what fighting with a hammer is when you’re as small as a pony.”

Eclipse dusted himself off and grabbed the hammer again. This time, he swung and spun in a full circle, going directly into another swing at his imagined target before slowing to a stop.

“Good.” Sagebrush said. “Now, things get fun.” He clenched his jaw, spreading his legs out for better balance.

“Whoa, whoa! I can’t fight you yet! Not without magic.” Eclipse said, backing up a few paces.

“Relax, it’s training.” Sagebrush smiled, easing Eclipse’s worry a bit. “Now, the thing about berserking is that going off the handle is exactly what you don’t want to do.”

“What?” Eclipse asked, widening his own stance to match Sagebrush. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Then you should understand perfectly.”

Eclipse gave Sagebrush a disbelieving stare.

The armored pony laughed. “Losing your head gets it chopped off. Being a berserker of old, now those were the days of mindless rage. But the berserker guards were different, back before they were disbanded thanks to a lack of major threats to the world.”

Eclipse straightened, ears directed forward as his attention was piqued by this new information.

“We need to get angry, yes.” Sagebrush nodded. “It gives us the extra strength we need in a fight. But we need to be collected. A calm fury, if you will. To do this, it takes a very difficult mental trick. You need to take your enemy and identify them with everything that makes you angry. Bullies, insults, long lines, whatever it takes. They become the source of everything you despise.”

Eclipse tried, but didn’t understand how such a feat could be accomplished. “You can’t just draw connections where none exist.” He thought to himself.

“If it helps, pretend to be a conspiracy theorist.”

“Oh. Well, there you go.” Eclipse muttered.

“But remember: Don’t let yourself lose control. It’s a little abstract, I know, but if you can do it right--” Sagebrush rushed forward.

Eclipse stepped to the side, but Sagebrush swung his hammer low and swept Eclipse’s hooves out from under him. Eclipse lost his grip on his weapon as he slammed face first into the dirt.

Now he didn’t need a mental trick to get angry. Eclipse quickly got up and grabbed his hammer again, rushing Sagebrush and swinging in a wide arc. Sagebrush ducked, letting Eclipse’s swing fly overhead. Since he was still running, Eclipse’s path was altered by the hammer’s weight and he found himself about to run into a wall with no chance to turn in time. Slamming the hammer into the ground, Eclipse used it as an anchor and quickly slid to a stop, hitting the wall but at a much lower speed than he could have been going.

Sagebrush nodded. “You found a way out of some serious hurt. Good work.”

Eclipse grumbled something incoherent and rubbed the pain out of his jaw, but Sagebrush seemed unfazed.

“Focus now. Keep calm, but keep me in your sights.” He widened his stance again. “I’m everything you’ve ever hated. I am everything that has caused you pain.” He lowered his head and pawed the ground menacingly.

Eclipse and Sagebrush both rushed forward, swinging their hammers as they were just about to pas each other. The weapons collided with each other, sending both ponies spinning. Sagebrush adjusted almost immediately, but Eclipse was still out of control.

“Stop fighting! Put energy into the swing and not against it!”

Eclipse managed to stop himself, shaking some of the dizziness out of his head afterwards.

“Why are we doing this, anyway?” Eclipse asked.

Sagebrush snorted. “What’s the real reason you want to avoid this pony so badly?”

Eclipse took a few breaths, gritting his teeth in annoyance. “I just don’t like meeting my heroes, alright?”

Eclipse charged, ducking his head in an attempt to bull rush Sagebrush. Sagebrush charged as well, but he planted the head of his hammer into the ground and jumped, flying over Eclipse as the latter stared in shock. Eclipse forgot to look where he was going and ended up running into one of the guards’ training dummies.

The trio of guards watching the ‘training’ started laughing again, drawing the attention of another pair of guards from inside the barracks.

“Come on Eclipse.” Sagebrush goaded. “You can’t run from this forever.”

“I didn’t even know I was running at all!” Eclipse responded, getting back to his hooves and grabbing the hammer again. “Why are you suddenly so interested, anyway?”

“Everyone’s got demons. Even the happiest of us.” Sagebrush’s eyes darkened. “Especially the happiest of us.”

Eclipse grunted.

“Remember,” Sagebrush said. “Agility. Even without chaos magic, you’re fairly fast and flexible. Your hammer isn’t your only weapon.”

Eclipse lowered his head, charging again. Sagebrush repeated his earlier maneuver, using his hammer to help him jump over Eclipse. However, Eclipse twisted his neck and swung the hammer over his head.

Sagebrush felt the wind get knocked out of him, but managed to land back hooves first, followed by his front hooves. Eclipse came around quickly, swinging high.

Rather than ducking, which Eclipse had expected, Sagebrush jumped back and let Eclipse’s swing continue. Having little choice, Eclipse tried to go full circle, but was still heading forward and found himself well within reach of Sagebrush’s attacks. Sagebrush swept Eclipse’s two left legs out from under him with a good hammer swing before he could counter.

Since his right legs were still usable, Eclipse pivoted on his forward leg, using his rear to plant one good kick on Sagebrush’s head before regaining his left side’s footing and jumping away several feet. Sagebrush’s helmet was sent flying, leaving him one armor piece short of a full set.

Laughing, Sagebrush gestured Eclipse to attack again. “Just like that! Keep a calm fury. We all have plenty of strength, but we have subconscious blocks to keep us from using it. Anger helps weaken those blocks.”

Eclipse regained his composure, as did Sagebrush. “What do you mean, mental blocks?”

“Our muscles are much stronger than we suspect.” Sagebrush responded, stretching and popping his neck. “But our bones can’t handle lifting hundreds of pounds over our heads or punching through brick walls. It’s an evolutionary thing.”

Eclipse swallowed, mouth starting to dry out from being kept open thanks to the warhammer he was holding. He took a deep breath to steady himself and prepared to keep fighting.

Seeing Eclipse stopping to gather himself, Sagebrush took the initiative and charged.

He swung his hammer a few times, but Eclipse readily dodged or fell back, out of reach. Huffing, Sagebrush narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out Eclipse’s strategy. If nothing else, he could try to distract his trainee.

“Come on, Eclipse. So you don’t want to meet a certain someone. You’ve got to have a valid reason.” Sagebrush adopted a defensive stance, in the event he got Eclipse as worked up as he was hoping. “You said you don’t like meeting your heroes. Most of the time, ponies say that because their heroes turn out more like a person and less like the figure they envision atop a pedestal. But if you already know so much about this person that you think you’ll come off as a creeper, then you idolizing them surely can’t be it.”

Eclipse gritted his teeth. “Oh, come on! Sure, I idolize her. She’s smart, powerful, even a goddamned actual hero. What’s not to idolize?”

“So you don’t see her with faults at all?” Sagebrush asked, head down.

“Well, she’s got a thing with over organizing and panicking…” Eclipse shook his head to clear his thoughts. He charged again, running in an arc to attack Sagebrush from the side.

Sagebrush was able to quickly change his footing and defend, blocking the attack with ease. “Well, you certainly would come off as a creeper. Maybe that was a good reason, after all.” He grinned. “I don’t suppose Feather Duster has competition?”

“Oh, come on!” Eclipse sighed, exasperated. “I told you the story. The princesses told you the story. You know what I am, where I come from. It was a show for crying out loud! I didn’t think I’d actually end up in the middle of it.”

“Well, more off to the side, really.” Sagebrush chuckled.

The two traded a few more blows while they were still next to each other, before jumping away to put some space between them.

“Is it really so similar?” Sagebrush asked.

Eclipse ignored the question, charging and swinging the hammer in his mouth. Sagebrush jumped back, but Eclipse kept his forward momentum, rotated on his front hooves and smacked Sagebrush with his tail. The attack didn’t do any actual damage, but confused and flustered Sagebrush enough to let Eclipse swing his hammer low and swipe Sagebrush’s front hooves out from under him.

Sagebrush caught himself before hitting the ground and dashed forward while pushing himself up, causing his forehead to smack into Eclipse’s jaw.

Eclipse staggered back, all his teeth still in his mouth but with the metallic taste of blood trickling in.

Sagebrush grinned. “You’re panicking a little. Can’t say I expected that from you. Fear is even better at removing those mental blocks than anger, but it’s harder to control yourself when running on fear. I suppose any emotion connected with adrenaline would do the trick, but anger and fear are at the top.”

Eclipse’s jaw tightened around the handle of his weapon. “I think this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk.”

“You finally got me to talk about something I find interesting.” Sagebrush grinned past his weapon. “But you ignored my last question.”

“What?”

“Is this Equestria and the one you saw then really that alike?”

“Well…” Eclipse began. “It… I mean, the texture is way up, I guess. Everyone’s… fluffier, I suppose? Seeing individual hairs in everyone’s coat took a bit to get used to. The princesses don’t sound quite the same, but it’s pretty darn close.” Eclipse shook his head. “Why’s it matter anyway? Will you just explain why you keep pushing this?”

Sagebrush nodded. “Seeing something through a glass screen and then taking that screen away can show two very different things. Listening to a recording of something can be very different from the real thing.”

“But it’s still so close!” Eclipse said, scowling. “It’s so damned close that sometimes I almost feel like I’m just watching it through that screen again. It feels like… like…”

“Like you’re home?” Sagebrush said, putting down his hammer and gesturing at the group of guards that had been watching to leave.

Eclipse dropped his hammer, leaned his head back and screamed at the sky. He laid down when he was finished. “Why is this happening?”

“Because you’re homesick?” Sagebrush suggested.

Eclipse shook his head. “No! I mean, why is this happening now? I already went through an existential crisis. I relearned how to walk, (granted, that took all of three hours, as walking on all fours is surprisingly easy) I learned that I had magic, I already had to deal with the fact that I’m in Equestria! Talking to the princesses took forever to get used to. Why am I suddenly having this breakdown? I arrived in Canterlot earlier today. Today! This is the second time this has come up and slapped me in the face, today. I’ve been in Equestria for over half a year now, why is this only now happening!?”

“No idea.” Sagebrush conceded. “But you can’t let this stop you from talking to someone, regardless of who they are. I think you’re too stubborn for that.”

“Damn straight.” Eclipse muttered. He sighed and climbed to his hooves. “Fine. I’ll meet Twilight and get past this… whatever it is.”

“Too late.” Sagebrush grinned, pointing at an empty section of the training area.

The air shimmered for a bit, until the illusion faded and the royal sisters stood there, side by side. Around them were six very, very familiar looking mares.

Eclipse cast a glance at Sagebrush, then back at the group that he had inadvertently spilled his heart to.

Eyes glowing red, Eclipse punched Sagebrush through a wall of the barracks. “I’ll will murder you for this, you bastard!”

Sagebrush quickly climbed through the hole, armor barely even scratched and a spear in his hooves. “Come taste the wrath of a berserker!”

As the brawl began (and the surrounding area became a disaster zone) Princess Celestia sighed happily, sparing a glance at each of the six shocked mares in turn. “This was a good plan, don’t you agree, sister?”

Luna remained silent, stoically watching as Eclipse tried to drop a small mountain on Sagebrush as the latter hammered his way through everything Eclipse sent at him.

Celestia kept her knowing grin to herself, as the guests with them were the only things keeping Luna from cheering the two on.