When your life is a stack of suckcakes covered in angst syrup and the world turns its back on you after it kicks you into a puddle of hate toast with rejection margarine and the marmalade of loneliness and your parents are completely and totally dead, being a brony can seem meaningless. God, I'm hungry now. Sometimes all we need is a horse -- a great big one -- in a cardboard box to reinforce our own self-imposed martyr complexes.

A parody of My Little Dashie, in case you couldn't figure that out. Read by Illya Leonov!

See what actual, living bronies are saying about My Full-Sized Goddess Horse!

"This is a stark commentary on the self-destructive and delusion-wracked nature of Major Depression, as well as the ephemeral routes of mental escape in which one finds some momentary relief from the endless downpour of despair and hopelessness they experience with this disorder." -Cupcakes

"Vulgar." -Mystic

"This is an actual, for-real quote from ROBCakeran53, author of My Little Dashie." -not ROBCakeran53

"I don’t think this story is fit for Equestria Daily, nor do I think that it will ever be acceptable." -Equestria Daily Pre-Readers

"You truly have a proper grasp of diction!" -MallaJong1

"...My Full-Sized Goddess Horse is a fundamentally entertaining, messageless tale with impeccably-crafted prose." -Amit

"This is the best use of unreliable narrator I've ever seen on fimfic! " -ocalhoun

"...you should probably not smoke as much weed as you did that day." -Lesolan

Reviewed by the actual, for-real Seattle's Angels!