Moira ran the opal-encrusted comb through her recently washed hair. “We don’t get to bathe very often back in Megaton, they save the pure water for drinking. I tried to rig up a water distilling solution with Abexo Cleaner and ant nectar, but no one would try it out for me!”

Celestia had shown back up just after Moira had finished getting clean. One of the palace servants had her RobCo jumpsuit, and her underclothes washed and redelivered to the baths. “We also don’t get to wash our clothes much... I don’t think I’ve even washed my jumpsuit at all!”

The bath chambers were large, holding three swimming pool sized tubs built into the floor. Ornate taps, some of dragon heads, some of hydras, and others of different legendary beasts, lined the sides of the tubs. A few dispensed either hot or cold water, and the remaining ones dispensed soaps of all textures, smells, and colors. Moira had spent some time experimenting with a mix of each one, trying to find out which would clean the wasteland grime from her best. After a few minutes, she discovered it was a mix of one smelling faintly of some of the old perfumes that were occasionally sold to her, and a purple one that had a scent she could not place. To her, this whole chamber was one of the greatest gifts ever given to her, exposing her to new colors, feels, and especially smells. The wasteland didn’t have much to offer in the smell department beyond irradiated carcasses, unwashed bodies, rotting corpses, and gunpowder.

“Tell me more about... this world you live in,” Celestia said with intrigue lacing her voice. “I’m afraid earlier you didn’t quite go into much detail other than the... Unitied States, did you say?”

Moira thought for a moment while she did her red hair up into a bun. “Well, the United States got into a war with this so called 'China' place...” The scientist rolled her eyes at this. “I don’t think that place exists, to be honest with you.”

“Yes, you told me earlier.”

Moira nodded. “Silly me! I’ve been told I’m a bit of a space head... among ‘other’ things.” She sighed slightly. “Well, we nuked ourselves. Bit of a shame really, from what I’ve read the world used to be beautiful!”

Celestia’s more a sombre expression as Moira recounted her planet’s mutilation. She could never imagine such a horrible thing ever happening to Equestria and the countries beyond. “Did it really get that out of hoof?” she asked the wastelander before her. “Your species was just that suicidal they needed to devastate themselves that terribly?”

“Us humans sure are funny creatures,” Moira said with an upbeat smile and a giggle. “We do so many great things, yet insist on tearing them down.”

“Well, continue on.”

Moira cleared her throat. “Anyway, a lot of people decided to gather into underground shelters! Vaults, spread all around the United States. After the bombs dropped, they began to open one by one... and soon, the wastes began to repopulate!” Moira slipped herself into the freshly cleaned RobCo jumpsuit that had lain folded beside her. “We’ve got all sorts of interesting characters out their. There’s the Brotherhood of Steel, who keep us safe from super mutants and the Enclave.”

Celestia rose an eyebrow at this. “The Enclave?”

Moira nodded. “Oh yes, some nasty folks who want to rebuild the United States to it’s former glory. Sadly, they’ve got it in their heads that the rest of us don’t matter, and they seem to think it's okay to kill all the wastelanders!” Moira crossed her arms, her voice containing the first hints of anger Celestia had detected from the seemingly ever happy individual. “I don’t think that’s fair. We’re people too, you know!”

The Princess of the Sun shook her head, her long, multi-colored mane drifting about as she did so. “It’s a shame when beings feel like they need to stoop to such low standards. Your world seems... bleak.”

“Oh, but it’s not all bad!” Moira’s voice returned to normal. “I’ve been able to get a lot of studies down even since I moved to Megaton from Canterbury Commons, and then there’s Zachy!”

“Zachy?” Celestia inquired.

Moira brushed off a soap bubble that had landed on her from the bath residue that was left over.. “Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to mention Zachy! He first showed up from Vault 101, the Vault closest to Megaton. He came into my shop, and I sent him off to help me write The Wasteland Survival Guide! It’s been doing really well, even selling over in the Mojave Desert, a place far off west.”

Princess Celestia smiled. “You wrote a book?”

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without Zachy!” Moira’s smile grew. “He really was quite the help. I’ve never had a research assistant that’s been so great at, well, researching! Also, he’s the one who’s lived the longest, so I have to give that to him as well.”

“Lived... the longest?” Celestia didn’t like the sound of that.

“Well, my research assistants have a bad habit of dying on the job. Sometimes it’ll be a group of raiders, other times a pack of super mutants...” Moira frowned for a moment, before smiling again. “But Zachy is just fantastic! He’s beaten up plenty of mutants, cleaned out whole raider gangs... heck, he even took on The Enclave by himself!”

The regal alicorn’s eyes opened in surprise. “He took on them by himself? I’m assuming they’re quite powerful.”

“From what I here, he walked out of Raven Rock with the whole facility exploding behind him. He took down President Edan, their leader, by himself,” Moira recounted in a hushed whisper. “They killed his father, you see. He took it real hard, even though I keep telling him he’s not to blame for it, and that James was bound to die sooner or later anyway.” Celestia gave Moira a reproachful look, and the shop owner grinned nervously. “Guess I didn’t really help.”

“Anyway,” Moira continued on hurriedly. “He’s also the reason we’ve got pure water being distributed around the wastes! Megaton used to be one of the only places that had clean water, but now with Project Purity up and running, every settlement in the wastes can enjoy it!” Moira laughed a pleasant laugh. “He really is quite an amazing individual. Sometimes I worry about him, though. He can be kinda rude, and rarely talks to anyone if he can help it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be very social either after what happened,” Celestia pointed out. “He really did all that? Just for the wastes?”

“Well, I think the whole Enclave mess was just him attacking back at them for killing his dad. But I’m sure glad he did it! Three Dog talks about him all the time on the radio,” Moira responded, running her fingers through her hair.

“Come, we’ll continue this one in the throne room. I’ve had food been delivered there.” Celestia opened the bath chamber door and beckoned Moira to follow. The human did so, pausing one last moment to savour the smells of the soaps that still lingered in the air.

As the two walked back to the throne room, Celestia continued on her questioning. “So, this ‘Three Dog’ character...”

“Oh yes, he runs the best radio station out in The Capital Wasteland!” Moira ran her fingers along the wall of the corridor, savoring the architecture. “Well, really the only radio station besides the occasional emergency broadcast frequency now that The Enclave isn’t on the air anymore,” she added as an afterthought. “But, I’m glad for that! The Enclave never really broadcasted anything good, and now that Three Dog can get his voice to more wastelanders, we can all learn to ‘Fight the good fight’!”

“It’s one of his slogans,” Moira responded to the silence that followed that statement. “Three Dog is really a great guy. He used to not be able to get his voice out to many places because of a faulty radio dish, but Zachy got him a new one!”

“Zachy seems to be like a very generous person,” Celestia observed as they turned a left into the throne room. Besides Celestia’s throne was a cart covered in various vegetarian food items, ranging from salads to pies. “The Wasteland must be quite a different place now that he’s around.”

Moira grinned and looked over the food. “Oh, is this all for me? You’re too kind!”

The white pony smiled a warm smile. “Well, you did look famished, and I can’t imagine you’d have gotten much proper food in the place where you live...”

Moira took a fork, and poked a tomato. “Well, I haven’t really studied foods that much... I did figure out a new way of preparing radroach meat, however!” Moria bit into the tomato, and gasped a bit as she felt the juices of the fruit bleed over her tongue. “Oh my, this tastes much better than radroach!” Soon, the famished wastelander was digging into every tomato she could find, she moved on to lettuce, onions, and all the other foods. She didn’t find hay to her liking, and wasn’t very fond of peppers. Nothing beat tomatoes, however.

After a few minutes of eating, Moira patted her stomach. “Boy, was that good! Those amazing red fruits-”

“Tomatoes.”

“Yes, they are amazing! I still have a hard time thinking of them as tomatoes, anything in the wastes that advertises themselves as having tomatoes in them are nowhere near how amazing that was!” Moira placed her fork down. “The only fruit that really grows out in the wastes are muttfruits, and their an irradiated mix between apples and pears. We also have dried ‘Dandy Boy Apples’, but those aren’t any good. At least, not compared to this!”

The Princess’s smile was radiant. “That’s good to hear. Oh, I informed a student of mine that you were here. I think you too are going to get along just fine.”

As if on cue, the doors to the throne room burst open, and a purple pony ran in. She was considerably smaller than Celestia, and lacked the wings that The Princess had. Her mane was purple, with a streak of pink resting on the side of her horn.

“Ooh, is that a unicorn?” Moira walked over to meet the new arrival. “I’ve read about them... humans had many legends about them. You don’t prey on virginal women, do you?”

The purple unicorn who had just arrived had shown up slightly out of breath, and now was sporting a confused look. “Um, Princess Celestia? Who is this? Is that the ‘human’ you were talking about?” She had a pleasant voice, with the slight air of a know-it-all.

“Indeed it is, my faithful student.” Celestia hoped to her hooves from her seat on the throne. “This is Moira Brown, owner of Craterside Supplies in The Capital Wastelands.”

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Twilight Sparkle, student under Princess Celestia.” Twilight held out a hoof to Moira. Moira ignored this, and instead walked around the unicorn, observing her in full.

“Oh, you look amazing! What are your measurements? What can you do with that horn? Can your blood really heal the sick?”

Twilight’s confused look worsened. “She’s another Pinkie Pie, isn’t she?”

Princess Celestia chuckled and smiled a not-so-innocent smile.