Yea, I ran over a pony. So? Not my fault. Okay technically Dash could’ve sued my ass and actually won. Luckily, she didn’t.

I got up and ran towards the pink body on the road. It was on it’s side, Travis followed close behind. Travis got out, ran, spun in a circle, then slammed into the car. As I ran I could hear Dashie back in the car yelling ”YOU KILLED HER! YOU NO GOOD-” I don’t think I should be saying anything else up to this point.

I run over to the pink body of a pony and examine her. Her right foreleg seemed to be broken, but other than that she was fine. She seemed to be knocked out. She had a pink fluffy mane that resembled cotton candy alongside a pink body. Travis ran up to me. He seemed to be kinda dizzy seeing as how he was stumbling a little.

      “Dude she’s not dead.” I said, relieved that I didn’t have to go to pony prison

      “Alright. Now, let’s just turn around and leave.” Jackson said

Being the dick that I was, I turned around slowly, Travis did the same. We walked towards the car and before we could even get on our third step, I heard a whimper come from behind. I turned around. My heart practically melted into Kool-Aid.

The pony was giving me an incredibly sad look with her saucer panned icy blue eyes. Her mane had gone from fluffy to flat. I groaned. I was gonna feel guilty as hell if I left her here.

      “Now I feel bad.” Travis muttered

      “Ditto.” I groaned

      “For fuck’s sake why do we keep hurting ponies?” Travis asked

      “I dunno.”

      “Well, let’s get going.”

Jackson bent down and scooped the pink pony up in his arms like a baby. He walked back to teh car with me following.

      “So NOW you want a pony.” I sneered

      “You have one. I think it’s only fair.”

Travis put the pony into the backseat of the car where Dashie was staring at her new friend, stunned. I got in the car and pressed a little on the throttle, the engine rumbled, telling me that it was ready to go. Travis made sure that the pink mare was okay before getting in the passenger’s seat. He buckled up and I drove out of there. As I drove away from the crime scene I glanced into the mirror and I could see the pink mare giving Dash a confused look. She simply nodded reassuringly.

      “Dashie, why did he hit me?” The pink mare asked

      “Because, SOMEONE wasn’t paying enough attention to the road.” Dash snapped

I gulped and continued driving. Travis looked out the window and began whistling “Sexy and I Know It”.

      “Not helping.” I growled

      “I wasn’t trying to help.” Travis said

Jackson strikes again.

I rolled my eyes and got back to driving.

      “Dude, how far to Vegas?” Jackson asked

      “Well, we’re on Junction Rd right now. After we blaze through Old Spanish Trail we’ll be at Vegas in no time.” I replied

      “Viva Las Vegas baby!” Jackson yelled out the window

I shook my head and continued driving. The two ponies at the backseat kept silent. Then eventually they began to chat.

And chat...

And chat...

And then chat again...

After around two or three hours of hearing their conversation, I was practically on the verge of insanity.

      “Their words... Are like tiny needles poking my flesh.” I muttered

      “I can’t think anymore. My brain is broken.”

Miraculously, I managed to continue driving even on the verge of insanity. I spotted a gas station up ahead and pulled in. I stopped the car and got out. Making sure to shut off the engine as I did. The ponies ignored us and continued chatting. Travis opened his door, and practically fell on the floor. He got up and gave me a blank stare.

      “Is this real life?” He asked

      “Yea it is David after Dentist.”

Travis looked around, looking at everything with a blank stare until he stared at me once more and tilted his head.

      “I have to go.”

He walked towards the restrooms. I shook my head and put the hose in the gas tank. I waited as the car filled up. The ponies were now staring at me with curiosity.

      “What? Never seen a guy fill his car up?”

      “No. Back in Equestria, autowagons use steam.” Rainbow replied

I ignored her and continued looking around. I eventually heard the sound of a tummy rumbling. I looked in the car to see both the ponies giving me embarrassed smiles. I rolled my eyes out of annoyance. The twinkie sack was quickly running out, I had to stock up now.

      “Stay here. I’ll go get you something.”

I walked back to the gas station. I entered the store and came back out with a plastic full of Skittles (Me Gusta), chips, and various other forms of junk food. I tossed the plastic bag into the car. I pulled a plastic bag from the glove compartment. Inside was a dog bowl (Hey my car’s pet friendly too y’know). I took it out, opened a pack of Skittles and poured the pack into the plastic bowl. The pink mare sniffed it and stared at me. Dash proceeded to do the exact same thing five seconds later.

     “What?” I asked

     “What is this?” Dash asked

     “Skittles. Go on try’em. They’re awesome.”

The pink mare made no hesitation in putting the candy in her mouth. She chewed and swallowed. A smile slowly spread across her face.

      “Told ‘ya.” I smirked

Dash tried one. She chewed a bit longer than the pink mare did and she swallowed it. Her eyes widened and she dove right into it. Once the bowl was empty, I emptied another pack of Skittles into the bowl and waited for Jackson to drain his snake.

He came back later moonwalking away from the toilet. He danced his way through the station and back to the car. I buried my head in my arms and laughed. Jackson got back into the car. I followed and got in the car and pulled away from the gas station.

Two hours later...

Shortly after we left the gas station, Dash had introduced us to her friend who we found out was called Pinkie Pie. By now, it was night. Jackson was asleep along with the two ponies in the backseat. The only thing keeping me awake was my will to not crash the car.

I turned my attention back to Jackson. He was sleeping so peacefully. Leaning against the door.

      “You lazy little fucker...” I growled

I turned my attention back to the windshield. A smile tugged at the edge of my mouth. Jackson slowly woke up.

      “Waaaaaat?”

      “We’re here.” I smirked

I smirked as I drove into the city of Las Vegas. Next Chapter: Vegas Debauchery and Pawn Shop Pointlessness Estimated time remaining: 30 Minutes