So I think now you know where this is all headed. Blondy and Tiny Dancer saves the world with their new pet freak-of-nature. So, still here? *Sigh* At least I tried.

After we had pulled out of the gas station, I floored it and basically gave Jackson a rollercoaster ride down the windy roads. He stopped me just five minutes after we left the gas station, got out, threw up, then demanded that he drive instead. It was actually pretty funny.

Wussy.

So here I am with the rainbow mare on my lap with Travis driving, she was around the size of a full grown German Shepherd. Why is the rainbow mare with me you ask? Because after our last fiasco, we decided that the cyan blue pony had to be comfortable at all times. We needed somebody to absorb most of the shocks. So here she is, on my lap, snoring peacefully. Occasionally snuggling against me.

      “She’s so cute it’s disgusting.” I said

      “C’mon Nash, that is pretty adorable.”

      “I’m gonna have a heart attack from all this cuteness.”

He was right. The cyan blue mare was extremely cute and her fur was smooth. But I knew that  she was just waiting to strike. If she woke up, damn I’m dead. Jackson would probably have a half second head start and probably bail with the goods while she bashed my brains out. She was like a cute, cuddly time bomb.

I made sure to have her in maximum comfort at all times, even going as far as to stroke her and pet her mane. It felt good and she probably felt no different. Maybe even better. I was bored out of my mind with Travis granny-driving my car. Okay technically it was average speed but it felt like granny driving to me.

      “C’mon Jackson speed up a little.”

      “No way, I threw up once I ain’t throwing up again.”

      “My car is crying.”

      “I don’t give a damn if Optimus Prime is bawling, I’m driving.”

Travis continued his cautious ways while I gave up, took out my iPad and commenced playing Jetpack Joyride for two hours straight. I regret nothing. Okay, maybe I’d be doing a little better if I wasn’t so short sighted right now.

Four hours later...

Finally Travis managed to find a decent enough motel along the roads. It was three stories high and some of the windows had bullet holes. It was supposed to be called: ”The Death Valley Motel” but now the sign said: “The Death Va  Motel”.

Lawl.

I managed to get a room for a measly $125 bucks. The room was pretty good. It had only a single bullet hole in the wall, the beds were in mint condition with the occasional scorpion lurking inside once in awhile. The TV was broken, every time we turned it on there was a well, then slowly and eventually, a ghost girl would climb out of the well and slowly shamble towards the TV. At this point we’d just shut off the TV before it reached the screen. Another thing is that it kept turning itself on, but we lived with it.

Eventually we had to smash the TV because it was creeping us out. Whether the involvement of sledgehammers and molotov cocktails is true or not, I will not tell.

Don’t look at me like that.

So anyways, we took turns hauling the luggage up. One would look after the little pony while the other would take his luggage up to the room, luckily nobody saw it. Once the luggage was all upstairs we brought the pony to the room. I set her down on my bed since Jackson refused to have the pony shed on his bed. I kinda liked animals so, why not?

As I went to take a bath in the less than “okay” bathroom, Jackson would occasionally poke the little pony and give me updates. The following lines of text are all from Jackson himself.

      “Hey I poked it and I think it’s waking up.”

      “Dude! It’s waking up!”

      “False alarm, it just sneezed.”

      “Hey Grace, Did you know it has a really firm ass?”

      “It’s tail is really nice and warm.”

      “Have I ever mentioned that it has a great ass?”

Sometimes, I really just don’t know about that boy.

I finished up my shower a bit quicker to save the creature from any more sexual harrassment from Travis, I emerged from the shower donning a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. As Jackson took his shower, I sat next to the pony and proceeded to continue stroking it. Hey, at least it’s better than having Captain Rape Jackson check whether her ass was firm or not.

I had actually gotten kinda addicted to the feeling of her mane. And her soft fur. I continued stroking it until Jackson came out of the shower wearing a tank top and hawaiian leaf designed boxers. Like a douche as always.

      “So, what do we do now?” I asked

      “Let’s wake the poor thing up. I don’t want her waking up in the morning and trashing the place.” Travis replied

I nodded and stared at the creature. I turned my attention back to Travis while still stroking the adorable little pony.

      “Who’s gonna do the honors?”

      “You’re doing it.”

      “What?!”

      “You seem to have gotten along quite well with her, so I guess you’re doing it.”

      “You gutless little pussy.”

      “Why, thank you.”

I lightly shook the mare. Travis hid under the coffee table. She stirred a bit but did not wake up. I shook her a little bit more aggressively, her eyelids flew open revealing two magenta orbs, she shot up and immediately tackled me. She snarled right in my face. This time I was a bit braver. I didn’t call for momma.

I called for uncle instead.

I shot my hands towards her neck and began scratching her behind the ears. She melted almost instantly onto my chest, her growls turned into soft moans, her eyes were half lidded and her tongue stuck out her mouth. I continued scratching her behind her ears, while slowly getting her off me. I managed to get her off me and onto the bed. I continued scratching while I asked her a question.

      “So, you gonna play nice or what?” I asked

      “Oooohh, aaaaahhhhh” She moaned, it must’ve felt really good. And her moans were surprisingly sexy.

Great you’re giving me that look again.

      “I’ll assume that’s a yes.”

I let her go and she went limp. She didn’t get up for a while, then after a few minutes, she finally got up. She glared at me and me only. Completely ignoring the fact that Captain Jackson was the one that had been sexually harassing her.

      “So, uh, my name’s Nash Grace. And that’s my buddy, Travis Jackson.”

Travis gave a little wave and went back down like one of those plants from Mario.

      “Um... so what’s your name?”

She glared at me before answering.

      “I’m Rainbow Dash.”

      “Can I just call you Dash or Dashie for short?”

      “No.”

      “Alright then Dashie. So, as you know, me and Jackson there hurt your wing.”

Rainbow Dash gave her wing a little flap and she winced in pain. She gave me another glare.

      “Hey I wasn’t the one that shot you with a twinkie.”

      “What?!”

      “Nothing. Anyways you’re going to be following us all the way to New York.”

      “And why would I do that?” Rainbow Dash asked

      “Because, um... You have no choice?”

      “I’ve got plenty of options! I can just fly out of here, I can wait for my friends... I could... I could...”

I could see that Rainbow Dash was lost. She was beginning to realize that she had no choice. Yet there was a part of her that didn’t want to give up. I was right, She couldn’t fly, her friends didn’t even know where we were. If she wanted to survive, we were her only chance.

      “So, you coming along or what?”

Dashie simply snarled and curled up on my bed. Her face was facing the pillows and out of our sight.

      “I’ll assume that’s another yes.”

      “Well, that went a bit better than expected.” Travis said

      “Fuck you. You didn’t have to do shit.”

      “By the way how’d you know about the ear scratching?”

      “When you’re a burglar, you tend to deal with dogs a lot. I found out it works on all bitches.”

      “HEY-OH!” We both said in unison

We laughed for a while before falling asleep.

Travis climbed into bed and went to sleep. I went to my bed and picked Dashie up. She thrashed like a cat but I climbed in and managed to drop her on to the floor. She stubbornly jumped back onto the bed and beat me with her hooves. I decided to take advantage of this and get on my stomach. Her merciless beating turned into a back massage.

      “Ooooooohh yeaaaaaa that’s gooooooooood.” I said

Dashie eventually gave up and just snuggled up beside me. There was some distance between us but I didn’t mind. The last thing I needed was to get a mouthful of horse hair.

During the middle of the night I was woken up by something.

The sound of engines rumbling and revving, tires screeching and loud dubstep being blasted. I quickly put on a pair of jeans and swapped my shirt for a black T-shirt with red tribal designs. C'mon, you didn't think I was going out in my PJ's did you?

      “Where are you going?”

I turned back to see Rainbow Dash looking at me with her half lidded eyes. She was rubbing her magenta eyes and yawning. It was honestly a bit too cute.

      “Just taking care of business is all.” I said while grabbing my car keys and cracking my knuckles.

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