My stiff muscles released sparks of happiness up my spine as I slowly stretched out. Combined with the warm feeling of the Sun beating down from above and the gentle breezes around me, I was finally feeling pretty good. Heck, I should have gotten outside long before this! That thought jolted me into paranoia and I rapidly looked all around me. Several uneventful moments later, I decided that maybe, just maybe, I was going to have a good day. Maybe even one without blunt force head trauma, full body burns, or multiple lacerations.

Twilight lagged behind a little, looking at some sort of flower alongside the path we were on. She was still smiling pleasantly, which was oddly contagious. Still, it was nice to see her in a good mood. Less painful, too. Although admittedly, the only time she had almost hurt me since I woke up was when I broke into her home in a mechanical monstrosity of nightmare, seemingly taking a young filly 'hostage' at the same time. Maybe it was about time to start giving her the benefit of the doubt?

She smiled up at me upon noticing my attention, and trotted to catch back up. It was a delightful treat to watch her mane sway gently in the sun as she moved, the pretty purples and violets being illuminated softly. Her eyes carefully roamed along my bandages as I concluded my stretch and straightened into a sitting position. She'd taken some of the bandages off this morning, but for precautionary measures, the main one stayed on for now. That left my lower back, hips, and navel with light wrappings. It had been the worst where the flak lasers had hit me, I assumed.

Twilight, concluding her seemingly seventh or eighth assessment of my condition for the day, brought her gaze back to my face instead. "How are you feeling, Mender? The walk isn't too much for you, is it?" she asked politely, a timid and somewhat concerned looking expression gracing her features.

The way she was moving, I probably could have taken a nap and still kept up. Still, I was thankful for her concern. "I'm holding up well enough. A little stiff and drowsy still, but feeling pretty good, all things considered," I muttered back, stifling a yawn. Getting poisoned via potion and spilling a few secrets here and there was a little depressing, but at least I was alive still. Mostly. Keep thinking on the bright side, Mender! Twilight hadn't been the one responsible for that little incident, though, so I shouldn't be irritated at her.

Twilight snickered in an oblivious manner, adding a nod a moment later. "Admittedly, your recovery has been amazing. Not only from the wounds you received in closing the link, but in resisting the potion effects yesterday," she complimented. It was a little weird now that I considered it. With my current constitution, I should have practically keeled over from that much potion, and slipped into some sort of alchemical coma or something.

"Just chalk it up to the universe having a weird sense of humor?" I offered idly, standing fully now and gesturing towards the path again.

Grinning, she picked up the subtle motion easily and fell in right next to me as I continued towards the farm. We walked in relative silence for the rest of the way. It wasn't very far of a walk, from the center of Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres, but admittedly, I was getting a little tired. As much as it felt good to be moving again, my full recovery was a ways off, it felt like. It took us a solid half an hour and I was shaking a little bit by the time we got there. Unsurprisingly, Twilight was giving me concerned looks by then.

Sitting down, I took a tactical pause in order to regain my breath. My legs felt a little shaky still, the tension from use already creeping up my muscles. Damn. Even for my runt physique, I was out of shape. I figured I'd have lost a little strength during my two weeks of coma, but this was ridiculous. I guess almost dying really takes a lot out of you.

"Maybe this was a bad idea? Are you sure you're okay?" the concerned sounding lavender unicorn asked, tilting her head down to peek under my bangs and into my face.

I smiled and nodded softly towards her, not quite trusting my voice to not crack yet. Twilight shook her head but grinned, probably thinking I was stubborn. I hoped she understood, though. I needed to fix everything that was off with my body. More strength and endurance, less hormones, a larger magic pool... Everything would help me fit in better. Maybe eventually, I wouldn't have to mooch off these wonderful mares anymore.

She didn't look entirely convinced, however, and opened her mouth to say something further. Thankfully, she was interrupted by a sweet drawl coming from the direction of the nearby barn.

"Howdy there, Twi! An' Mender came with too?" Applejack smiled warmly as she rounded the barn. I honestly don't think that I had ever been so happy to see the rough and tumble mare. Of course, we hadn't gotten the best start, with her being practical and down to earth, and me being, well, an idiot.

Twilight smiled again in an instant while turning, giving a small wave. "Hiya, Applejack!" she shouted back to clear the distance. It was a little sharp to my poor, potion-addled eardrums, being right next to her and all, but I restrained my reaction to a wince.

"Mender said he needed the exercise, plus I figured that he could put his skills to good use," Twilight continued, once the orange mare was within civil talking distance. It wasn't hard to pick out the light blush on her cheeks as she said it. She had asked me to come, in reality. Fluttershy might drop by later today and she had been hoping to talk to the elusive yellow pegasus. Plus, I saw it in her eyes when she had asked. She had wanted company.

"Oh! Ah think ya might be on ta somethin'. He's pretty handy with the engineerin' if Ah recall," Applejack agreed, snapping me out of my daze. I suddenly realized that I actually had no idea what she needed help with. Well, not that me having no clue what’s going on was actually all that different from normal.

I nodded regardless. “I need to get myself back in shape, but I think you knew that already. Um, I also didn’t exactly catch what you wanted help with in the first place,” I elaborated, tilting my head to the side.

Her warm smile shifted into a slightly knowing one, but she nodded. Instead of answering immediately, she motioned behind her with a flick of her head before turning. Twilight and I caught the intent and followed after her as she headed back around the side of the barn.

“As ya’ll know, tha last harvest of tha season’ll be ‘ere soon. It gits ah might busy ‘round ‘ere before then, an’ Big Mac an’ Ah usually have ta call in tha relatives from all around ta help,” she started to explain. We rounded the side of the barn and crossed into the opening. My eyes widened as I saw the mess that covered the ground. Several large crates were strewn about the floor of the barn, most opened with their contents spilled out. Gears, cogs, wooden planks, chains, and some sort of rail system appeared to have been packed in them, as far as I could tell.

Twilight looked amused instead of surprised, but simply nodded. “She took my advice and is going to partially automate the packing process,” she tacked on, stopping next to AJ, who stayed in the barn doorway. I took a few steps further into the barn, and scanned over the piles of parts. Automation huh?

My mind instantly shifted to that of an assembly line. I suddenly realized what the rails and chains were for. Each piece started fitting itself together in my head. There would be the wooden conveyor belt itself that would probably line up with the lift. The curved rail pieces indicated that they wanted to turn the boxes as they approached, so if convenience dictated...

A glance at the wall behind me and to the right showed a lightly traced square on the wall. Bingo! A chute system to the outside, for pouring in the apples. They'd then travel along the line and be inspected before being dropped into the crates. I walked slowly alongside the wall, mentally structuring the raised platform the inspectors would stand on. After loading, the crate should be sealed. Nails were probably impractical for ponies. Glancing up, I saw another lightly traced square on the ceiling. Well, the floor of the loft, technically. So they were going to drop the crate lid on from the ceiling? Made sense. Then it would be latched and sent around the bend to the lift, either to go past and be stored on the ground floor, or hauled up to the loft. Storage was reasonable in this scenario, but the real perk was that it would only take a few ponies to operate the thing. I halted my self-tour in front of the lift. It would need a foundation for stability, but that wouldn't be too hard to...

"Uh, Mender?" Applejack suddenly asked, sending a jolt through my system! I jumped in surprise before whipping my head over to look at her. Was I not supposed to have walked here?!

Wham! My muzzle cracked off the side of the support beam to my left. I reeled, gasping as I stumbled sideways away from it. Son of a! My right side hit the nearest rope holding the lift up. I fell over sideways and landed on the lift platform frame. Huh. Guess they still haven't put the actual platform in. The force of my collision with the rope caused the entire frame to spin around with me still on it! I let out a dizzy wail as I went around in circles several times, the support ropes wrapping me up in an instant. In the space of a second later, the room finally stopped spinning and I let my head droop over the side of the frame. A painful stinging sensation beat with the rhythm of my heart against the side of my muzzle. Ow. Thank you, reality. I knew I hadn’t gotten my quota of pain yet today.

"Oh fer cryin' out loud! Yer never gonna change, are ya, Mender?" Applejack asked, starting to chuckle as she walked back to where I was hanging.

Twilight followed, looking slightly less amused. "Seeing you in action on a regular day, I'm suddenly not surprised that you managed a few bruises in the space of four hours," she tacked on.

I sighed, trying to yank my back leg free from its midair suspension. "Thanks for rubbing it in. Uh, a little help here?" I begged, only managing to rotate myself a bit.

"Whoa! Tha way yer displayin' yerself, Ah ain't rubbin' nothin'! Manners, Mender!" Applejack suddenly scolded, sending a deep spike of panic and embarrassment through my system.

"Oh, sweet Celestia's Sun! Ah!" Twilight squealed instantly after Applejack seemingly brought it to her attention. I didn't react quickly enough to stop her from getting a healthy glimpse, but managed to roll up with my other leg and properly cover myself.

"S-Sorry!" I apologized, wincing as I tried to pull myself up onto the frame.

I saw Twilight go scarlet, seemingly unable to close her jaw again. Her reaction reflex had brought both hooves to her eyes, but I saw a little crack between them. Applejack just burst into a copious laughter. "Ah'm just teasin' ya. Ya didn't intend ta flash us tha goods, obviously. 'sides, it's not tha first time Ah saw that sorta thing. We don't exactly wear clothes ya know?" she pointed out, stopping in front of the lift.

"Applejack! He... You shouldn't have looked!" Twilight whimpered, shrinking visibly as she gawked at her friend. She honestly looked traumatized.

Applejack smirked and raised an eyebrow to her. "Ya caught ah big 'nough gander yerself, Ah think. Yer actin' ah tad strange there, Twi," the observant country mare pointed out, causing an even deeper blush. Admittedly, I was feeling a little warm as well.

"Ah! Nothing! Rainbow accused us of that too, but nothing is going on between us!" the lavender unicorn defended, stomping her hoof against the ground. Her blush was still readily visible, of course. Ouch. As much as I enjoyed being reminded of how she viewed me, technically that was a suspiciously specific defense.

As predicted, Applejack never lost the warm smile. "Ah never said ya were, but that explains ah whole lot."

Twilight winced and shook her head rapidly. "No, no, no! I don't know what to feel yet, and until I do, no!" she adamantly declared. I couldn't help but think that it was a bad idea for Rainbow and Pinkie to be pushing her like this. She didn't cope with stress very well, and I didn't particularly feel like getting caught up in any bursts of rage she might fall into. Again.

"Getting a little dizzy here," I reminded, hoping to derail the potential homicide. And maybe get somepony to help me down.

Applejack laughed and turned back to me. "Impatient, ain't ya? Ah'll have ya down in ah sec," she assured, looking over the mess of ropes wrapped around me.

Twilight remained anchored to where she was, staring down at her hooves with a faint blush still. I watched her quietly as the other mare tugged at various ropes, trying to loosen them up a bit. Twilight was so confusing. Well, she was a lot of things. Cute, adorable, intelligent, innocent, good natured, loyal, drop dead gorgeous... I stopped for a moment, realizing where this particular train of thought was going. Calm down! She was also indecisive, overly analytical, a perfectionist, stubborn, and somewhat insensitive. Switching back to my previous adjective, I simply went with 'confusing'. She seemed halfway between thinking of me as a friend or experiment, and as something more.

My hormones weren't helping, of course. Had I thought it through properly, I probably shouldn't have let her kiss me. Thinking was what I definitely hadn't done, though. I should have considered Fluttershy first. Of course, all this was against my instincts anyway. Two mares held my interest. If anything, that should have set off enough warning flags to send me screaming into the forest as fast as possible. Probably involving a makeshift rocket.

My thoughts were interrupted by ropes being garroted into my neck. I gasped and thrashed, causing Applejack to immediately release the vile things.

"Whoops! Sorry. They're ah might bit tight," she apologized, stating the obvious. That snapped Twilight out of her daze, causing her to glance up again. A moment later, I finally managed to get the rope off my neck.

Any and all proceedings were then interrupted by a knocking sound coming from the front of the barn. "Hello, anypony? I was told that I could find Applejack here," sounded out in a distinctive Rarity tone.

"Oh, ya need somethin', Rare? Was tryin' ta untie Mender back 'ere," she explained, turning and walking towards the newest arrival.

I could barely make out the white unicorn from between two of the large crates. Applejack headed through the gap between them, squeezing as needed.

The lavender unicorn wasted no time at all in surprising me. Her lips pressed into mine rapidly, ignoring the awkward sideways angle we were at. I started in surprise, followed rapidly by blushing. I didn't even have time to close my eyes before she backed up an inch or two again, however.

"Thank you, Mender. You could have caused me some serious stress by revealing too much, but you didn't. So thank you," she added to her oh so warm smile after the kiss.

I blinked slowly, totally unsure of what I was being thanked for. "But, um, why would I intentionally add more stress to your life?" I asked. The idea was totally foreign to me. Why would somepony waste the effort in doing something unnecessarily cruel to somepony else? I understood that there were some extremely mean individuals in existence, but they didn't exactly get anything from the exchange.

My confusion oddly seemed to make her more content. She smiled softly at me and shook her head. “Asking that must mean you’re being honest. I’m glad you’re taking my desires to wait well. I really do want to talk to Fluttershy about things first,” she assured weakly, frowning and seeming a little unsure.

“You thought I wouldn’t understand, didn’t you?” I asked quietly, managing a smirk. It was a shot in the dark, but something told me that she was the cautious type. Just a hunch.

She averted her eyes. I was right! “Well, you do have a tendency to jump to conclusions and come up with some fairly convoluted ideas. I was a little concerned as this is fairly important to me. I don’t want to screw it up by offending you.”

Ouch. Well, she was still accurate. At least she was being straightforward and to the point. "I'm glad it's important to you. I admit that I'm a little concerned about what you think of me," I admitted.

Twilight looked slightly confused before asking, "What do you mean? If I like you as more than a friend?"

That seemed safe enough, so I simply nodded. She smiled and I felt relieved. "I think that much is safe to assume. Now the only question is if I'm ready for a relationship." She sounded nervous after she said it and I swallowed. If she decided that she didn’t want a relationship either...

My thoughts derailed suddenly, plowing off the three hundred foot cliff and into the rocky ridges below. What the hell was I doing?! Twilight wasn't supposed to be treated as a last resort. Was I screwing up what it meant to like a mare? Fluttershy. She made me feel safe and calm. Twilight made me feel warm and wanted. I liked both of them quite a bit, but I needed to figure out my own feelings first.

That was the truth. I was frustrated and let it direct itself at them. My feelings weren't their problem! It wasn't fair of me to take any action in regards to a relationship without properly thinking it through first. I'd been doing the opposite. I liked both of them, so I was just waiting for whichever made the first move, then? I berated myself for being so selfish. This would require quite a bit of thought. Feelings for Twilight felt murky and heated, gravitating towards thoughts of kissing her. That felt dangerous to think about, so I decided to consider Fluttershy first.

"Equestria to Mender?! You still awake?" the now irritated sounding unicorn asked from right in front of me. I started abruptly and looked back up at her. Shock hit me hard as I realized that her eyes were starting to water.

"Did that bother you? You went all quiet and sad looking and I didn't know what to do," she asked before I could say anything.

Frowning, I managed to somehow shake my head through the ropes. "No, I just zoned out. I realized that you were right. It's not fair for me to jump into this without thinking it through. So I have a lot of thinking to do," I explained. Well, to the best of my abilities. Admittedly, I wasn't the best at getting my feelings across.

Twilight surprised me by looking shocked, herself, before responding with, "Oh. But does that mean that you don't...? Ah! Sorry; you're right of course. If I can take time to think about it, you obviously have the right as well."

"What's wrong, Twilight? Is there something bothering you?" I asked, more than a little concerned about her reaction. She had spent at least half of the reply backtracking.

She swallowed timidly, but looked away. "Just, um, talk to Fluttershy soon, okay? I really would like to get back to my usual routine," she requested, confusing me even more. Somehow.

Before I could ask for clarification, however, she simply extended her foreleg up and gave the bottom of the lift frame a solid shove. My eyes widened as I was spun around rapidly in the other direction as before. The ropes lost their tightness in an instant, letting centripetal force take over. With an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp, I was flung free of the frame and hurled towards the pile of nails, bolts, and gears next to us. Damn it. Putting my forelegs up to shield sensitive areas, I braced for impact.

Gravity decided to take a coffee break instead, however. My body stopped a mere half a meter from the pile of sharp and pointy things. Thankfully I had an absurdly powerful unicorn on my side! She pulled me back over to herself, giving me a light smirk and pointing out, "The more I see of it, the more I think your level of bad luck is about on par with Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. I should run some tests."

I rolled my eyes, getting a little tired of being upside down. "Fine. I really would like to get my dreams scanned again as well, speaking of tests," I reminded, closing my eyes to reduce the dizziness.

Mercifully, she flipped me back over, before assuring, "I'll do the scan if you want me to, but I really don't think that you have anything to worry about. Princess Celestia said..."

"I know what she said. I'd just feel safer if you took a peek at it yourself," I interrupted gently, looking down a bit. It wasn't that I didn't trust Celestia. She was a wise ruler. From what I'd seen of her, however, she was fallible. That wasn't a bad thing, but I trusted Twilight more.

Twilight seemed truly surprised instead of mad, however. I suddenly hoped that I wouldn't have to explain all of that. She gave a warm smile a second later, though, and nodded in understanding.

"I'm glad you trust me that much, Mender. You're a really good friend and, well, I'm glad," she muttered, suddenly seeming to mentally stumble over something. The light pink tint gracing her cheeks confused me, though.

"What was all tha screamin' 'bout? Oh, ya got Mender free?" Applejack suddenly asked, walking up from the side of my vision.

Twilight squealed in surprise and spun to face her two approaching friends, looking extremely guilty. I didn't have time to analyze further as the magic holding me up flickered away alongside her concentration. I landed unceremoniously on my butt, along with other sensitive things. Daggers of pain lanced through my navel and I winced, screaming out in an airy, soundless wail before falling forward and dropping flat like a bag of wet sand. Son of a bitch!

Applejack chuckled somewhere above me. Mentally, I imagined stabbing her a few times to make myself feel better. "Oh dear!" Rarity added, sounding further behind me somewhere.

"Uh, hi girls! Um, what brings you here, Rarity?" Twilight asked, oblivious.

Instead of giving in to the pain and homicidal urges, I slowly and tenderly pulled my back legs up into a tucked position, gritting my teeth the whole time. Oh for the love of all things just and righteous, somepony please kill me now! Why did they have to be external?!

"Uh, Rare here wanted ta’ try an' proposition me fer her fancy party comin' up," the only mare with a heavy accent explained, also ignoring me now.

My entire body shivered and jolted as I felt two hooves slowly push into my back. They kneaded my lower muscles carefully, not applying too much pressure, but slowly massaging along my spine, relaxing me a bit.

"Are you all right, dear?" Rarity asked softly, from barely a foot above me.

I groaned miserably, trying my best to form a coherent thank you for her. "Er, he only dropped from half a meter or so," Twilight pointed out. I wished I could have glared up at her. Pity the raw ache prevented the rotation of my stomach.

"An' right onta tha stallion parts! Ah've seen it happen ta Big Mac ah few times. Looks mighty painful, Ah'm guessin'," Applejack explained, earning a new level of respect in my mind.

Twilight let out a sharp squeaking noise and I felt her move closer to me. "Oh no! I didn't mean to, Mender!" she assured. Thankfully that much was obvious. Had she intended to, it probably would have hurt quite a bit more.

Slowly sitting up, I shook my head while keeping my eyes closed. “Ow. I’ll be okay,” I managed to get out, in between my voice cracking and the reverberations of agony as I moved.

Twilight gently helped me up, supporting me with a foreleg. Rarity stopped her massage and lifted from the other side of my body by the shoulder, until I was sitting up again. I nodded and smiled at her as she brushed along my side, frowning. I glanced down and noticed I had collected a bit of dust from the floor in my coat. Mentally shrugging, I just let her go crazy and dust my coat off. Instead, I glanced back at Twilight instead.

The lavender unicorn looked incredibly guilty, but didn’t say anything. Applejack interrupted before I could speak, regardless. “What were ya doin’, anyway? Ya almost looked like ya were in some sorta trance or somethin’,” she questioned, walking around to sit next to Twilight and be fully in my sight.

I shook my head at her, still not feeling all that great in the lower stomach. “It wasn’t a trance. I was just figuring out the system for the conveyor you wanted to build to package up the apples,” I corrected quietly, looking back to my right at the front wall and the square traced on it.

Applejack gave a start and tilted her head. “Wait ah minute. Ah never told ya that we were makin’ ah conveyor.”

“I know. These parts are pieces of one, so it was fairly obvious. Then I saw the tracings you made in the wall and ceiling and figured out the direction you wanted it going. You want a system to drop the covers on the crates after sorting the apples, and then deliver them for easy storage, right?” I asked, mostly for clarification purposes.

Twilight shifted to an amused smirk and looked over at the still surprised Applejack. “See? I told you there’s a good reason to have him help. Now we don’t need to try to buy the plans for the conveyor,” she rubbed in, me obviously missing a lot of information.

I frowned but shook my head, asking, “Wait, there were plans to go off of?”

Applejack sighed and lowered her head, looking exceedingly dejected. “Well there would’a been if Ah had bought ‘em. Twi ‘ere convinced me not ta spend tha extra bits an’ have ya look at it first ta see if ya could figure it out,” she explained.

Twilight vouched for me? Wait, if I could pull this off, I could save Applejack bits! I could start paying her back for all of the hospitality so far! My delight couldn’t be contained and a warm smile crept up out of nowhere. I found I couldn’t nod my head fast enough. “Of course I’ll try to put it together. Anything to help you out,” I agreed.

The farm pony gave me a warm smile, but Twilight displayed a knowing one instead. "You don't owe us anything, Mender. You do realize that she's going to pay you for this, right?" she asked coyly.

My heart sank as I glanced back at Applejack and earned a still smiling nod. "Iffen ya can get tha thing workin', it would only be right ta pay ya fer yer work. Ah would've had ta bring in ah professional and Ah can't afford that an' keep tha project worth it," she explained gently.

I frowned, this not sitting well with me at all. Then an idea struck me. I turned to Rarity instead, assuming she'd be closer to the heartbeat of the town. "Hey Rarity? Do you happen to know what the rate is for a hotel room in Ponyville?" I asked.

She surprised me by gasping, and vehemently denying, "I'm not that type of mare!" This was accompanied by a rather pronounced blush.

I blinked slowly, a little confused. "Uh, what? I just figured you'd have more out of town visitors than Applejack or Twilight. Nopony has mentioned prices to you?" I elaborated, unsure of what I had said wrong prior.

She stared at me for a moment with a blatant expression. I tilted my head, and she exhaled softly, as if relieved. Twilight looked as weirded out as I felt, but Applejack started snickering.

Rarity shot her an icy glare before looking back at me and continuing with, "That is true enough, I suppose. Last I'd heard, several weeks ago, mind you, the hotel prices were about thirty-five bits a night."

My mind jumped on the math like a rabid ferret. "Okay, so at a twenty percent markdown, that would be twenty-eight bits. That is probably close to what rent would be. Applejack supplies the bed, and Twilight supplies the room it's in. Cutting that in half, that meant that I owed each of you fourteen bits a night for room and board," I reasoned, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Applejack frowned, glaring at me suddenly. I'd never seen an expression shift so rapidly. Oh crap! Was that figure too low? I knew I should have researched pricing a little more before suggesting something like this. Wait, the way Rarity reacted led me to believe that I might have been wrong about the hotel thing. From what little I could remember, which thankfully included basic vocabulary from my old dimension, a hotel was a place of temporary lodging for those displaced from a more permanent living arrangement. What if it was a little different here, though? The way she reacted indicated some sort of ill reputation establishment. Had I just compared Applejack and Twilight to that?!

"No, Mender! We're not going to...!" Twilight started to berate before stopping and giving a questioning look. At her yelling, I had dropped my belly to the floor and tucked my ears down as hard as I could. Oh no. No, no, no! I should have researched this way more.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to compare you two to anything! You're reputable mares, and I wasn't insinuating that you perform mating requests for monetary reimbursement. Please! I'm sorry..." I apologized as rapidly as I could, hopefully heading off any bouts of rage or homicidal thoughts.

"Wait, what?!" Applejack suddenly exploded, expression shifting to shock even quicker.

Twilight's cheeks went pink and she looked away rapidly. Rarity reacted the best and simply coughed lightly, however, admitting, "I do believe that little misunderstanding was my fault. But you really shouldn't jump to conclusions like that, Mender."

Applejack rested a hoof on her forehead and shook her head weakly. "Again. Ah shouldn't be surprised by now, Ah guess. Ya didn't offend. Ah jus wanna pay ya somethin' fer yer work," she muttered, looking down at me after finishing explaining. Oh.

"And I said I wasn't going to hurt you again!" Twilight yelled suddenly. I let out a yelp and dove sideways and away from her in surprise. Of course, I rolled right into the pile of sharp and pointy things that I had saw prior. Stupid nails.

* * * * *

Things always seemed to go in patterns for me. The unfortunate thing is that there always seems to be a quota for the amount of pain I'm required to go through. I gritted my teeth and winced as Applejack pulled out the twelfth and final nail. Speaking of that quota.

"Disinfecting," Twilight reported instantly. A sizzling sensation hit the spot where the nail used to be embedded in my back. I gasped, but thankfully the merciful unicorn continued with, "... And healing." The pain faded instantly and I was finally able to slump forward to the ground. Rarity, who was at my side, patted my shoulder as I tried not to get grass up my nose. Wait, I was supposed to be trying to think positively. Well, at least I'm not allergic to the grass. Or iron. Or blood loss.

I heard Applejack spit out the nail behind me. "That's some handy magic, Twi. How come ya never used that before?" she asked a moment later.

There was an exasperated sigh before the unicorn returned, "That's because I learned it only a few days ago. At the rate he gets injured, it was all I could do to lessen the hospital fees." I let out a frustrated groan and looked back at her, just in time to see a wall of lavender descending towards my face. I winced as she lightly batted me on the end of my muzzle. "No. You're not going to pay for those either," she preemptively declared.

Sighing, I turned back around and glared straight ahead again. They just didn't seem to get it. "You're a Gentlecolt for trying to make it up to us, don't worry. But you can't be expected to without any source of income and while injured still," Rarity soothed, bending down and trying to smile at me, eye level.

I sighed weakly, staring at the root of the tree we were under. Applejack hadn't wanted to get blood in the barn, which was understandable. In frustration, I whacked the front of the root I'd been glaring at. It barely shook, which only served to irritate me further. A moment later, something reasonably solid skipped off of my head. I let out a stifled yelp, and then glared at the infuriating red object rolling away from me on the ground.

Twilight sighed weakly and walked up next to me, lifting the apple up with her magic. "I'm definitely going to have to run a few tests on you at some point in the future. You have the absolute worst luck I've ever seen," she admitted, tossing the apple backwards.

"Yer just noticin' this now? He only has good luck when it counts, ya know? Like givin' ah giant alien battleship tha ol' what fer!" she exclaimed. I blushed a little but didn't look up again. It was mostly because my head hurt, but I also wasn't sure if I was supposed to be honored or depressed by her viewpoint. Still, Twilight had a point.

The white unicorn next to me sat up fully again, shaking her head slightly. "I personally don't feel his luck is too entirely bad. Sure, he's a bit clumsy from time to time, but he's only been in the physical form of a pony for all of three and a half weeks. Surely, he deserves a bit of a break due to that, no?" she suggested reasonably. Well, I thought it was reasonable, anyway.

"She has a point. Honestly, his progress is astounding if you take into consideration the age of his body. He's technically been alive for less than a month," Twilight concurred, nodding. I glanced back and caught her smiling down at me. She blushed and looked away rapidly upon noticing my attention. Had she said that purely to make a case for me? She had to have realized it was different due to me being alive for much longer prior.

"Indeed! To project an air of such sophistication while being so young! You're truly talented. It makes me wish Applejack was such as well," Rarity praised before glancing over at the now glaring farm mare.

"Yer still pushin' fer that? Ah already told ya, Ah can't make it. The last harvest is comin' an' there’s no time ta be off prancin' about in fancy clothes," Applejack repeated. Well, technically it was the first time I had heard it, but I assume that they had been discussing it while Twilight and I had been talking.

A light blush distracted me momentarily. Yeah, talking. Mostly. "It would just be for a few days, Applejack. Please?!" Rarity practically begged, edging a little closer to her friend.

"Ah'm really sorry, Rare. Ah know yer desperate if yer askin' meh. Ah really wish I could help ya," she apologized, subtly putting herself down.

Rarity sighed and nodded, to my surprise. Was there some sort of context that I wasn't aware of? "Yes. I didn't believe that you'd want to go. I'm just running out of options. Twilight's already going on behalf of the Princess. Fluttershy practically passed out when she realized how crowded it would be. You know she only accepts crowds when all of us are there to back her up," Rarity replied weakly. I'd guessed as much about Fluttershy, but Applejack and Rarity seemed to have a deeper understanding than I realized. They knew each other's tastes.

Twilight nodded as well. "What about Rainbow and Pinkie? Surely they're not busy," she suggested, gesturing with a hoof towards Rarity.

"No such luck, I'm afraid. Rainbow Dash unsurprisingly has the entire public appearance schedule of the Wonderbolts memorized. She was a little miffed at my attempt at trickery in trying to let her think they were attending. And Pinkie Pie is still banned, remember?" Rarity returned, looking a little stressed. Banned? I swallowed nervously, not entirely wanting to know how the friendly enough seeming pink party pony got banned from somewhere.

"Oh yeah. Ah forgot they got real upset after tha Gala incident. Ah would've thought they'd be over that by now," Applejack muttered. Yup, definitely didn't want to know.

Rarity sighed and nodded, brushing her mane back gently before noticing me watching her again. She gave a soft smile down towards me before shifting her attention back to Applejack. "What of Big Mac? I suppose he's needed for the harvest as well?" she asked after a moment's apparent thought.

Applejack sighed as well, but nodded. "He does tha figures an' fancy mathematics. Ah don't think we'd have ah smooth time without him 'ere," she explained. Silent but smart, huh? I could definitely appreciate that.

Rarity looked downright depressed for a moment and shook her head. "If I hadn't been asked to provide the dresses for the fashion show there, I wouldn't be nearly as upset. This could really make my career! If I were to show up without the guest attached to my invitation, why, it would be shameful! Outrageous! I'd be laughed out of the party," she lamented. Whoa. Rarity dealt with an entirely higher level of social performance than what I was used to! I can see why Fluttershy didn't want that kind of pressure.

There was a quiet moment, followed by an awkwardly uncomfortable feeling. I glanced up at the white unicorn again, only to discover that she was staring intently at me. Er, did I have something in my mane?

"Wait a moment. I suddenly recall that you are a personal friend of Princess Celestia herself! Everypony saw you having lunch with her," she reminded, for as of yet unknown reasons. I still didn't like where this was going.

Twilight predictably blanched. "Wait, what? Just because he eats lunch with her once, doesn't mean that they're best friends. Is that why that rumor is spreading like wildfire?" she questioned, sounding more than a little irritated suddenly. What did I do?!

"Um, not to interrupt, but what rumor are we talking about?" I interjected cautiously. If it was about me, I at least deserve to know what it is, right?

"Ah heard it too, down in tha market this mornin'. It's mixed up more than Pinkie on fermented cider. Somewhere between ya bein' ah clandestine lover, an' ah secret agent," Applejack explained, looking back down at me.

Damn it! This was all Rainbow Dash's fault. She had to go screaming at the top of her lungs that I had a date with the Princess. Twilight slapped a hoof to her forehead, sighing miserably.

"Wonderful. Well at least there's no real harm in any of it, I suppose. If they want to be silly, then so be it," the lavender unicorn acquiesced weakly. She didn't sound convinced. Of course, saying "No real harm" and referencing me in the same sentence would probably make a lot of ponies uncomfortable.

"Oh, but I intend to use it to my advantage, with Mender's support, of course," Rarity corrected, looking remarkably devious for such a refined mare. I swallowed timidly. Regardless, she continued before I could voice any opinions, further enlightening with, "Seeing that everypony seems to be busy, I'm tentatively considering asking Mender to go with me to the party instead, purely for appearances, of course. If they want to perpetuate the rumors, so be it. That assumed, Mender should be a very eligible 'date' for the evening."

"Excuse me?" Twilight asked instantly, devoid of any tone fluctuation at all, expression deadpan. Uh oh. Wait, what?!

Applejack nodded skeptically as well. "Admittedly, Ah get the point behind it. Yer usin' tha rumors ta puff up Mender's reputation an' make yerself look good fer yer designin' show. Ah just question how, well, wise that is. Mender's ain't exactly known fer his social graces," she pointed out.

Ouch. My ego suddenly hurt a little. Although I sadly had to agree for the most part. "Oh relax, you two. It's not an actual date. He's coming as a friend, of course. I simply want to avoid any potential social stigma," Rarity explained carefully before sitting down again next to me. Giving a test shift of my muscles, I decided that they weren't quite ready to move yet and did absolutely nothing. It was surprisingly effective at making me feel better as well.

Twilight's glare didn't relent, however, and I had to mentally stop myself from fidgeting. It wasn't even directed at me, yet I found myself trying not to shake. Still, what could I honestly say in her defense without giving away exactly what she told me not to? She seemed to realize this too, and kept it to a silent glare instead.

Rarity looked a little flustered, however. "Twilight dear, what's wrong? You seem awfully upset at me. May I ask?" she requested politely. I'd never seen the white unicorn actually look unsure, admittedly. Twilight must mean a great deal to her.

Finally, Twilight let out a huff and relaxed a little. "It's nothing. Just, well, don't let him wander off and maim himself or something," she warned pointedly. I suddenly got the impression that my choice had been made for me already.

"Splendid! Then it's a date. This is in Canterlot, Mender, so pack warm! Oh, and we shall have to spend a night there, of course. It will simply be far too late by the time the event is over to catch a train back. I'll pay for the room, of course. Oh, and we absolutely must size you and get a wonderful suit made before the party! Oh, there's just so much to do," Rarity started rapidly explaining. Well, more suggesting. Wait, I didn't own any clothes, let alone warm things. Wait, I had to spend the night in a hotel room with Rarity?!

Twilight started growling again, predictably this time. "Then you'd best go do it. And I'm sure I can work him into my old quarters at the palace, so you don't need to worry about a hotel!" she berated, tone sounding irritable.

Rarity looked taken aback, but Applejack just chuckled. "No need ta get so defensive, Twi. She said it was just ah friendly thing. But we do have ah lot of work ta do, Rare," she excused politely, giving the white unicorn a gentle nod.

Rarity coughed lightly, but nodded. "Of course. Do come by in a couple days to get measurements, Mender," she requested, doing a polite bow and recovering her smile as she looked over at me instead.

The best I could come up with was returning an uncertain nod, trying my hardest to smile back. She departed slowly, with the elegant and drawn out gait of a true noble, of course. I exhaled weakly as she left, avoiding the burning sensation of Twilight's gaze on the back of my head. Applejack just gave another laugh and gestured towards the barn again, starting a pace towards it herself. Shaking my head, I sighed wearily. The day had already felt long enough, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it was far from over.

Author's Notes:

Doom Pie's Audiobook Chapter:
http://youtu.be/DUBVQA2mr0Y