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Forgiveness Pending

by Kiroberos

Chapter 46

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Silence prevailed for a moment as my head spun, unable to quite comprehend just how fast that had escalated. Apple Bloom sighed softly, walking around to the other side of my cot before muttering, "That really got outta hoof."

"Oh dear. You two stay here, okay? I'm going to go make sure she's all right," Nurse Redheart instructed, trotting towards the door.

"Eh?! Ah can go check on her. Shouldn't ya stay with Mender in case his leg hurts or somethin'?" Apple Bloom questioned, tilting her head at Redheart. Uh oh. Even with my incredibly oblivious nature, that sounded like a bad idea.

The nurse hesitated for a moment before shaking her head and admitting, "Uh, actually Mender is fine and could have left an hour ago. Um, sorry. I'll go talk to Sweetie.” I fell into a deadpan stare as she hastily retreated out the door as well. A certain awkward silence prevailed both in the room and in my head for a moment.

"Yer popular with tha mares, lately. This is scary," Apple Bloom suddenly murmured, sitting down again and exhaling sharply.

I stared at her briefly before falling forward onto my face. "Why?! What is going on?" I asked into the blankets, frustration swelling up in me. This didn't make any sense! I started to seriously consider if I was flat out cursed by something. It was a wonderful explanation for the boundless bad luck, too.

"Mah brother guessed it was due ta ah negative backlash from tha public smear campaign. He said that sociology indicated that ponies would naturally be more inclined-like towards ah pony they believe 'suffered unjustly an' unduly'. Makes 'em somethin' of an underdog, whatever that means. Plus, yer real nice an' polite, an' try ta do good by other ponies. Oh, but that last part's mah own input," she explained, nodding twice and shooting me a smile when she was done.

I gave her a blank stare for a moment before slowly blinking. Well, huh. Okay, that theory did make a lot of sense. So because those Canterlot Newspapers tried to lie about me, it made ponies angry, so they were more inclined to see me in a positive light? Reverse logic, it would seem. I hadn't of course considered Big Mac simple prior, but I definitely realized that he was just a stallion of few words. Behind those gentle eyes lay an extremely calculating intelligence.

A moment passed, and I smiled at her, nodding again. "That's actually pretty smart. Your brother has a lot of sides he doesn't like showing to others, I notice," I deduced, tilting my head towards the little filly.

She looked momentarily surprised before giggling and nodding. "Yup! Mah Big Brother is really smart! Nice and protective, too. He takes care o' tha fancy mathematics on tha farm, with tha bits an' all. Him an' AJ fight about that ah lot," she explained, flattening her ears back momentarily and shaking her head.

I raised an eyebrow, and then sat up again, starting to feel a little better overall. Redheart was a responsible adult. Surely she could talk Sweetie into feeling better. I just hoped the little filly would still want to hang around me after all this.

"Oh, nothin' serious. He just gets mad at her sometimes. Says somethin' 'bout her bein' ah... Oh, what did he call it? Ah 'spontaneous spender', Ah think. Somethin’ about needin’ ta think through deals better. Oh, he was right furious 'bout tha conveyor thingy, too!" the little filly exclaimed, shivering slightly in front of me.

Oh, that? Heh. Honestly, her being spontaneous with the spending didn't surprise me. She didn't seem to have very good money instincts when it came to judging the honesty of a sales pitch, it would seem. "I'd imagine, but surely he realized that wasn't entirely Applejack's fault. That stallion scammed and tricked her," I pointed out.

Apple Bloom smiled and nodded, of course. The door opened gently a moment later, and I looked past her, hopeful that I'd see Redheart walking back in with the two fillies. To my surprise, it was Spike instead, with Tank following after. After I'd gotten settled into the clinic, he told me he was going to take Tank out for some exercise, but I hadn't anticipated him back so soon. Apple Bloom paid no attention whatsoever and continued regardless.

"Yeah, he knew that. Oh, was he angry with tha stallion, too! Granny tried ta stop him, but it was no use. He got Caramel, Noteworthy, an' Carrot together an' went ta confront tha stallion," she relayed, looking rather giddy at that outcome. Heh, I imagine she wanted to see the guy get punished for tricking her sister, too.

"Oh, are you talking about that creep who tricked AJ?" Spike asked, walking up and hopping onto the end of the bed. Tank hovered down slowly and landed between the three of us on the cot, his weight shifting me slightly forwards. Thankfully, those blades stopped spinning almost instantly and folded up into the top of his shell before he sliced somepony's forelegs off.

Apple Bloom nodded softly towards him, still grinning in amusement. "Yup! It was awesome! He told me not ta follow, o' course, but tha Crusaders just had ta see what was gonna happen! All three o' us an' Sis slipped out after them," she continued, deeply enjoying her story. I smiled, somewhat amused at the other perspective on the event I already knew about.

"Applejack went, too?" Spike asked, tilting his head gently. Apple Bloom absently started playing with Tank's leg as she nodded.

"Yeah, she was darn curious as ta what her brother was gonna do. We were rather impressed that all he did was talk ta tha jerk," she informed, looking a bit surprised. I raised an eyebrow, and she coughed and looked away slightly. "Okay, okay. Ah know. 'Talk' was ah bit o' an understatement. More yelled. Still!" she amended after a moment's hesitation.

I snickered and nodded, having already predicted that due to her 'protective' statement earlier. She kept going, regardless, with, "O' course, tha slimy bugger started tryin' ta talk fancy with all sorts o' trick questions an' loopholes, sayin' she never 'asked' fer tha rest o' tha parts or tha manual, an' he ain't obligated ta look out on account fer her 'foolishness'. That made AJ mad! Oh boy..." My eyes widened, and scenes of horrible, awe-inspiring violence played out in my mind.

"Yikes! Applejack didn't tell me that she attacked the guy," I muttered, looking a little surprised. She must have just avoided saying anything about it. She was terrible at lying, after all. Spike nodded in agreement at the same time.

Apple Bloom snickered and scoffed, shaking her head. "She probably would'a, but she didn't get tha chance. Carrot bucked him out flat in an instant, an' then proceeded ta stomp him inta tha dirt. She gets right scary when somepony uses underhoofed tactics!" she chirped, giggling afterwards.

Spike and I both paled a little, staring in surprise at the little filly, who only giggled harder at our reactions. Carrot...? She was the one who attacked first?! "What? For true! It took both Noteworthy an' mah brother ta haul her off him, an' he was ah bad sight by then! Thankfully, they patched him up at tha hospital fer free before runnin' him outta town fer not doin' honest business. That's an offense 'ere!" Apple Bloom assured, smirking at both of us.

"Wow, that's, uh, a little scary, considering she seemed so nice earlier. Why did she even listen to me?" I thought, mostly to myself out loud, if that made sense.

"She has ah lot o' respect fer ya, Mender! She was impressed by yer manners an' inta.. intey... morals! Ya forgave her right quick, she said, an' honestly meant it. Not some guilt drivin' or somethin'. She said she believes exactly who ya say ya are," she continued to explain, surprising me a little bit. Even though it wasn't the entire truth, even I didn't believe that Celestia had given me the position she had. It was a little surprising that a stranger did so readily.

Spike thought for a moment before nodding and smiling. "You Apples are definitely a strong bunch. Even the distant relations. I wish more ponies were as honest and loyal," he muttered gently.

Distant relations? "Oh, Golden Harvest must be a relative?" I inquired, jumping on the opportunity to ask now that somepony, or somedrake else had brought up the topic.

The filly nodded and smiled towards me, informing, "Yup! Just call her Carrot Top or Carrot, though. She grows ah lot o' things, but Carrots are her specialty! Plus, she thinks tha nickname's cute 'cause o' her mane. She's mah cousin!"

"Heh. I'll call her anything she wants so long as she doesn't buck me into the ground," Spike assured, causing Apple Bloom to burst into a fit of giggles and nods. Heh, her family really was something else. Of course, now I was glad that I had helped her with the loft and conveyor.

"Did Big Mac forgive Applejack for the conveyor thing after we got it working, by the way? We kind of got sidetracked before you could finish that part," I suddenly reminded, hoping that the girls and I had relieved some of the tension amidst the Apple household.

The little filly continued snickering for a bit before finally nodding twice. "He was right unsure about it really workin' fer ah while, but tha second we got done packin' up tha first o' tha apple shipments up fer delivery usin' it, he plum dropped tha subject! O' course, that might'a had somethin' ta do with tha fact that we finished it in two days instead o' tha week it usually takes us, an' didn't have ta bring in extra help," she informed, smiling happily towards the end.

I grinned and nodded to her, feeling happy that we'd managed to make the thing work. It was an uphill battle for a good half dozen hours or so, but I guess it was worth it, then! "I hope the machine didn't take away anypony's jobs," I suddenly muttered, the fact that they'd not hired the usual help suddenly dawning on me.

Spike snickered and shook his head instead, surprising me. "I wouldn't worry about that. I've heard Applejack talking about that at the 'Third Week of Fall, Start Talking About Getting Ready to Welcome Winter” party Pinky throws each year. She feels terrible about having to bring in family to help, hauling them away from their own shipment packaging, and usually pays them three times the normal rate," he relayed.

Several aspects of that statement hurt my head, and I frowned, rubbing my temple. Okay, so not only did Applejack pay family to come here and help pack up apples with them, but she paid them three times more than a pony she could get from Ponyville and, I had no doubt at all in my mind, paid their traveling expenses and room and board. I was beginning to realize why Applejack was a little bad with bits. Also, more importantly, seriously, Pinkie?!

"Yup! Spike's right. Feedin' all those ponies also takes ah lot o' work! Big Mac keeps tryin' ta find local ponies ta help, but apart from Carrot, Caramel, an' Noteworthy, not ah lot o' them are up fer tha heavy labor, usually. My brother finally admitted that this is good fer everypony, all around," Apple Bloom continued, frowning a bit while she thought deeply about something, it looked like.

"Well, I'm glad that the machine helps that much. I hadn't realized what a big deal it was when I was helping put it together," I admitted, frowning a little, myself. Her trying to pay me for it kind of made a bit more sense in perspective, I suddenly realized. I just kind of assumed it was a silly side project that they didn't have much overhead sunk into. Dang. I hadn't even realized I was assuming that time!

Apple Bloom surprised me by groaning instead, slapping her forehoof to her face a moment later. Both Spike and I gave her a questioning look, but Tank seemed indifferent. Or bored. Or plotting the noisy ponies' deaths. No, I was gonna go with indifferent. "Don't remind me! Ah really do love mah sister, but sometimes she gets downright aggravatin'-like! She went on an' on fer days about what she did ta ya, after ya did everything right an' helped us so much. She practically worked herself inta exhaustion every day over it, an' was too stubborn ta see sense in ya maybe, just maybe, not bein' as mad as she thought over it all," the little filly suddenly started ranting.

My eyes widened the longer she went on. Twilight and Rainbow had said she was hard on herself, but I guess Apple Bloom had firsthoof account of it, living with her and all. It was unnerving, ultimately. I felt badly over making her worry that much, yes, but the truly unreal part I couldn't wrap my head around was the fact that she reacted like that to begin with. What made me so important as to cause a pony to do that to themselves? Maybe it wasn't me exactly, and more of a morals thing? That would make more sense.

"Is she doing any better now that her and Mender are talking again?" Spike asked softly, snapping me out of my inner turmoil with a question I was very much interested in as well.

Apple Bloom frowned, however, her eyes softening before she shrugged lightly. That wasn't a positive reaction... "She's sleepin' more normal hours now, but still gets up two hours before tha rest o' us an' is out workin' before Ah even wake up. Sometimes Ah get woken up ta her screamin' about Mender, too. Big Brother always rushes inta her room ta calm her down afterwards, but he won't tell me anything about it. Ah think she's dreamin' 'bout that night," she deduced, looking up at me gently.

My eyes were even wider now, and I flattened my ears back before swallowing. That night was monstrous, for sure. But if she was having repeating nightmares about it, maybe she needed to talk to somepony? I shivered, but nodded a moment later, looking back down at the filly.

"I think I'll talk to her when we get back. Maybe if we, well, talk about some of the things that happened that night, she'll feel better," I reasoned, not really sure if that was the case, but I had to do something. I was the reason that night even existed. I had been Nirru's target, and technically Applejack had just gotten caught up in all of it by accident.

Apple Bloom looked momentarily stunned, but quickly started smiling again and nodded. "That would be amazin', Mender! Ya really are ah swell stallion. Even if things don't always work out, ya always try ta do tha right thing, an' that's what's important," she complimented, causing me to flush lightly. It wasn't as overblown a compliment as I'd gotten before, but something about who was saying it and the way she said it made it feel ultimately sincere in comparison.

I couldn't think of anything to say in reply to that, but thankfully Spike beat me to it with an impish snicker. "Sheesh, AB, I could'a told ya that! Just look at whom he's dating. Fluttershy trusts him enough to fall asleep right up against him, and Twilight's actually giving dating a try in the first place! Nothing has ever gotten Twilight to move a priority up four hundred and ninety-three places before! So there has to be a lot of good about Mender," he deduced.

My head couldn't wrap itself around that, either. That was, but, wait, she moved me up... She kept a list of almost five hundred priorities for herself?! No, wait, that part didn't surprise me anywhere as much as it should have. She moved me up that far in the list?! Suddenly, I couldn't get the heat to die down in my cheeks in the slightest, and I felt a little dizzy. She really cared about me that much?!

Apple Bloom momentarily looked as shocked as I did, but then she looked over at me and burst into a fit of laughter. Spike glanced over at her reaction, and also started laughing as I flattened my ears back. "H-Hey! Stop it! It's just, honestly I didn't realize that she, um," I muttered, trying to defend myself before realizing I didn't exactly understand how I considered her before in the first place.

"Of course she likes ya ah lot! That much is obvious. Ah lot o' ponies like ya once ya talk ta 'em. Even mah quiet brother has been talkin' 'bout ya ah little," Apple Bloom reminded, recovering from her laughing fit but still grinning.

I coughed and rolled my eyes, finally fighting the heat down in my head. "Not everypony likes me, or there wouldn't have been that whole smear campaign and angry mob thing. Plus, a lot of ponies would change their minds amazingly fast if they knew what I actually was," I reasoned, relaxing slightly into a laying position.

"Hey, those fliers were enchanted, right?" Spike asked, frowning at me as I lay down.

I sighed and shook my head towards him, explaining, "They were, but they only encouraged the behavior. The distrust and anger had to at least be there a little bit for them to work as well as they did." Twilight had said as much after scanning the one. Why had I earned so much distrust and hatred in the first place? Did somepony figure out what I was?

The little filly scoffed and shook her head rapidly. "No way! Ah bet that if tha stupid fliers were tried again now, they wouldn't have no effect at all!" she vehemently corrected.

I stared at her for a moment before smiling and nodding. "I'm happy enough knowing that they wouldn't have any effect on you two, at the very least. Thank you," I added. Apple Bloom shifted into a warm smile at me, and Spike shot me a grin as he flopped over on top of Tank's shell. The tortoise seemed unfazed in the slightest by the sudden impact, and didn't appear to be straining at all. How strong was he? Dang. If anything, I could have sworn I saw him slowly start to smile back at Spike, but the movement was far too slow to be sure of. I guess he was only fast while flying.

A lazy five seconds passed before Spike slid over the shell and landed gently on his back on the cot right in front of me, with both of us looking down at him, and Tank slowly turning to glance at the claw that flopped over near his head. "It's cool, Dude. We so have your back if they try anything again," he assured, earning a snicker of amusement from Apple Bloom.

"Ya mean on his back as he runs away with us, right? Ah ain't anywhere as good ah fighter as mah Sis, yet, remember?" she reminded. I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head at her, and she smirked, ignoring Spike's scowl at the attack against his ego. "Ya didn't realize? Sis is ah really good fighter. Wrestlin' an' hoof combat are two o' tha events she always comes back with ah blue ribbon in! She can stand hoof ta hoof against mah brother 'cause o' that, despite him bein' so much bigger. He's ah lot better at tha fancy mathematics, though," she explained, shifting at the end as if suddenly realizing she should complement both of her siblings.

Admittedly, I wasn't too surprised. I'd seen her extremely practiced stance and movements when she put Nirru through a tree, and I guess I'd never really thought about it after that. Of course, I'd been busy bleeding out at the time, so I might not have given it as much attention as I should have. Her not being good at the 'fancy mathematic' didn't surprise me, either.

"It makes sense. She handed Nirru her flank that night after getting free. That's why she hauled me off into the forest in the first place. She was running away," I revealed, smiling at the two of them as their grins got even wider. I figured they'd like hearing that.

"Sis is real tough! Ah'm not surprised Nirru ran away," the filly chirped proudly, smiling and nodding twice to me. Of course, we were also lucky that the target of her mission, me, was right next to Applejack. Nirru couldn't use her magic with me that close and risk reducing me to ash before she got what she wanted. I decided to change the topic before I got depressed again.

"Big Mac does the bookkeeping on the farm if he's that good with mathematics, right? Why didn't he think of automating the process before now?" I inquired suddenly, tilting my head at the filly. There had to be a reason behind it, and it made me curious enough to pull my mind away from the bad memories again.

Apple Bloom looked momentarily confused before shaking her head. "He did think o' that. He ain't good with tha' engineerin' part, though. Ponyville doesn't have an engineer pony ta help build complicated thingies, so he didn't even have anypony ta hire available," she explained, with Spike nodding along in agreement.

I considered it for a bit before hesitantly nodding as well. "Maybe I'll get a lot of business, then, if demand's high enough. I don't see where a lot of ponies would need fancy machines, though, so I was kind of hoping my enchantments would make it a bit more lucrative," I muttered, mostly talking to myself again. It felt good to get it out of my head and into the open air again. Almost like it made the aspect clearer. What I needed to do, anyway.

Apple Bloom smiled and nodded rapidly before assuring, "Heck yeah! Tha Cakes didn't even wait fer ya ta advertise, an' Big Mac was already talkin' about two other projects he wanted ta hire ya for after yer done with that an' all." Oh. Well then, that was more than a little surprising to me. She giggled, and I realized my expression must have blanked when I heard it.

"Sorry. I just didn't expect him to want to hire me. It felt more like Applejack was the one pushing for it," I explained, frowning to myself.

"Rarity, too," Spike suddenly spoke up, then explained, "She was talking about you to a lot of the ponies that visited the boutique during her 'open house' event. They were asking about the 'indestructible suit' you had been wearing in Canterlot, and she advertised your business specialty afterwards, as she put it." A part of me was a little saddened that they were impressed with the levels of shields she had to throw onto the suit to make it resist the epitome of bad luck that was myself. I slapped my forehead lightly, and he snickered.

Apple Bloom just smiled, however, and nodded. "Ah told ya my brother is real smart. He saw what ya did fer us, an' was impressed by yer morals! He might not say so, but Ah can tell! He knows yer smart, too, an' good with tha machines an' stuff. Ah think he's been waitin' fer an opportunity like this fer ah while," she guessed, looking really happy about the prospect.

I smiled and nodded towards her, taking a shot in the dark. "I'm guessing it'll make it easier on all four of you if he automates a few things?" She probably had a few chores she'd have no qualms with automating, too. Heh.

She smiled but shook her head again. "It might, but that ain't tha important part. Ah bit more free time means Ah might get ta spend more time with mah brother an' sister. They're too busy usually durin' this time o' year ta play with me much, is all." Oh. I frowned lightly at her softening eyes, and she suddenly snapped back to attention, shaking her head rapidly and holding up a hoof.

"Oh, no, it's not all bad. Ah mean, they're takin' care o' me by workin' so hard, plus we all get ta see each other an' talk durin lunch an' dinner. Oh, an' Applejack walks tha three o' us ta school each day, an' Big Mac helps me on mah math homework and.... such....." she started to append, before trailing off into a blank look, then deflating rapidly where she sat, flopping onto her stomach and chin.

Well, I had been smiling at her up until that point. "Er, is something the matter, Apple Bloom?" I asked hesitantly, raising an eyebrow to her.

She stayed like that for a moment before sighing and nodding. "Ya can just call me 'AB' if ya want ta. Ah just remembered Cheerilee gave us math homework over this vacation, an' Ah don't have it done yet," she murmured, sounding utterly depressed. As happy as I was at being upgraded to nickname status, I felt bad that she suddenly felt bad. I considered it for a moment before realizing I wasn't entirely sure what the problem was.

"Why don't you just do it now, then?" I inquired, sitting upright again and cracking my back. As much as resting felt nice, staying in one position for too long reminded me of the hospital. Of course, that statement was a bit ironic when I considered the building I was sitting in right now.

"Ah can't! It's almost an honored tradition fer tha three o' us ta wait until tha absolute last minute, panic, an' then do it all tha night before!" she explained. Both Spike and I gave her blank stares, and she coughed lightly. "Oh fine. Ah'm confused over it, an' Sweetie Belle an' Scootaloo are even further back in tha assignment. Ah was hopin' ta ask mah brother ta help, but he ain't done repairin' all tha farmin' tools yet," she added, that one making a bit more sense to me.

Spike snickered and asked, "Wouldn't it be better to get all of the boring homework out of the way as fast as possible so you three could play all you wanted without having to worry?" Exactly! That made the most sense to me. Although both of us were starting to sound like Twilight now, prioritizing things. Wasn't he as old as they were? He should be slacking off, too, then. I guess he was raised far differently. Heh.

Apple Bloom thought about it for almost thirty seconds. Honestly, I was a little saddened that she had to consider the logic involved for that long. She must really... value... procrastination? My head was starting to hurt again, so I just let her think in silence. Eventually, she hesitantly nodded and admitted, "Well, that would be awfully nice. If Ah could get mah brother ta help us, we could get it done real fast! Ah should talk ta them about it later after all this blows over," she pondered out loud. Oh yeah...

Spike got a curious look, but I so didn't want to talk about that topic and rapidly changed the subject back again. "Why don't you go get the assignment right now? I'm assuming you brought it with you. You can get it done right now instead, and then prove how smart you are by helping Sweetie and Scootaloo figure out the problems later," I suggested, smiling softly at her.

She perked up at that idea, and Spike snickered again, letting me breathe a sigh of relief in my mind. Apple Bloom frowned a moment later, however, and looked back up at me. "But Ah'm confused by it. That doesn't sound very smart ta me. How am Ah gonna figure it out by myself first?" she asked, eyes softening yet again.

"Oh, that's easy. You won't have to figure it out by yourself, Silly. By being an engineer, I'm quite good with the 'fancy mathematics' as well. I'll help you figure it out if you want," I offered, giving her an assuring smile again. That would help her with her problem, and give Big Mac more time to work on the repairs in a stress-free environment! While the three of them were absolutely adorable, I realized how distracting they could be sometimes.

Her eyes expanded considerably as she gasped. "You'd do that fer me? Fer true?" she asked in disbelief. Okay, speaking of adorable... I had to swallow weakly and close my eyes for a second before I could manage a nod.

"Of course, Apple Bloom. You're my friend and fellow Crusader. I'd help you with anything," I assured. Especially if she looked at me like that. There wasn't even a choice. I'd have to, or my heart would explode out of my chest.

She beamed at me before ducking forwards and hugging my uninjured foreleg tightly. "Oh, thank ya, thank ya, thank ya! Ah'll go git it right now!" she exclaimed. I didn't even have time for my eyes to focus again before she shot off the cot and bounded out the door, the wind from her passing blowing it shut again, impressively enough. Wow. Dang, that filly could run! I thought Sweetie had been fast. Maybe it was an Earth Pony thing, but they seemed almost unsurpassed in all things physical and ground based.

"Wow, she gets really excited easily. I thought you were gonna melt if she looked at you too much harder!" Spike exclaimed, snickering at me.

I rolled my eyes, giving him a playfully annoyed glare. "Oh shush. I imagine you'd do almost anything if Rarity asked you nicely," I reminded, causing him to grin and nod. Heh. While the motivations were different, as a fellow male, he could understand. He was swooning, and I was reeling from cuteness overload. Close enough.

"Hey, it's cool. I understand. They've gotten me a couple times with their stares, too. They can be scary cute when they want to be!" he warned, shuddering lightly. We shared a moment of mutual silence and understanding before both of us nodded to each other. It was very much a common problem. In that moment, I sensed a true bond between us, as two fellow males having troubles resisting the various wiles of the females. It was truly a noble, elegant thing.

He stared at me for a moment before suddenly averting his eyes a few seconds later. "So, what's up with Sweetie and Scootaloo?" he suddenly asked.

...damn it.

* * * * *

"Wheeee!" I absently watched as he sailed across the room, hanging upside down from Tank's feet. The tortoise looked rather entertained, given the soft smile, and seemed to genuinely enjoy carrying the dragon around. Maybe it was an ego thing? How many tortoises actually got to say that they carried a dragon? Through the sky, nonetheless.

Apple Bloom smiled as she watched them as well for a moment before continuing to unpack her papers. The mathematics on the page were more than familiar enough to me. It looked like she had multiplication and division down, and was just starting on the very basic most algebra.

"I'm surprised Sweetie Belle finally confessed, even if it was under misconceptions. I still don't fully get why you told her no," Spike muttered again as he drifted past. Neither of us looked up as I helped her organize her pages. Five sheets worth of algebra. That hopefully wouldn't take too long at all!

"She's too young. He said that already, Spike. Ah understand it, really," Apple Bloom reminded, smiling at me as I set her last sheet down in order.

Spike sighed as he rotated around in place, dangling his back legs down for a moment before haphazardly dropping down to the cot instead. I put my hoof down on the papers as the cot was jarred from the impact, and made sure they all stayed in one place. AB grinned and hopped up onto the bed as well, in a far smoother manner, of course.

"I get that. But why didn't you just tell her to wait a couple years?" he asked, apparently confused at my wording earlier.

"I did. Honestly, I tried to word it as nicely as I could and make sure she knew I didn't 'not' like her or anything. I've just, well, never considered her like that before. Again, she's too young for me to even think about like that," I explained, expanding it a bit more this time.

Apple Bloom nodded twice at me and smiled yet again. "That's ah good thing! She's just hurt, is all. She'll come around," she assured me, settling into a sitting position.

Exhaling, I managed to nod softly to her. "I know. It just makes me wish I could do something to make her feel better. Or at least that Redheart would get back and report in about them! She's been gone, like, half an hour," I complained, frowning as I consulted Clocky again.

Apple Bloom started giggling and nodded, but Spike shrugged next to me. I ducked again absently as Tank drifted past overhead and landed in the sink I'd filled up with water a bit ago for him. "Maybe she had to use the bathroom after she found them?" the little dragon suggested absently.

I raised an eyebrow to him and questioned, "For a half an hour?" I'd heard of taking your time, especially if you had good reading material, but dang.

He nodded towards me and added, "Yeah, I think it's an estrus thing. Back in Canterlot, Twilight once stopped me just as we were about to go out and go shopping and ran into the bathroom. She was in there for, like, forty-five minutes! I was about to go find a nurse to go check on her in case she fell or something, but she finally came out." Whoa, seriously?

"That's weird. I wonder why it takes them so long," I muttered, frowning. Honestly, I couldn't think of any sort of biological purpose for slowing down excrement release during an estrus cycle.

"Seriously? Ah thought Sis was tha only one who did that! Ah was helpin' her gather up ah load o' apples fer harvest last year at tha beginnin' o' heat season, an' she suddenly snuck off ta tha west field's outhouse fer like, an hour! Ah was gonna go get help 'cause she took so long an' started groanin' in there, but she just told me everything was all right an' ta go wait by tha buckets..." Apple Bloom furthered, looking surprised.

Groaning?! "Yeah, Twilight was making noises too! It must really hurt or something," Spike agreed, frowning to himself. Pain didn't seem normal. I frowned as well, and then swallowed. Did it cause some sort of inflammation or something? What purpose would that serve? Regardless, it didn't sound pleasant at all. Maybe I should ask Twilight about it when I got back?

"Ah so don't wanna go inta heat. If even goin' ta tha bathroom is miserable, ah don't wanna know what it feels like, normally!" Apple Bloom whined, lowering herself to the cot and shivering as she probably imagined horrible agony.

I set a hoof down on her head and rubbed gently, smiling down at her. "It's natural, AB. Part of growing up and becoming a mare. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it being painful, just as well as I'm sure there's something you can do to make it less so. I can't imagine nopony's thought of any way to lessen the effects," I pointed out, wishing I knew more about it so I could comfort her.

She smiled at me and relaxed a little, shivering just once more against my hoof. Spike grinned and nodded, nudging my back thigh as I sat with his elbow. "He's right, ya know. If anypony knew how best to deal with it, it would be Twilight. She's really smart! We should go ask her when this estrus is over," he suggested, not realizing how close he was to what I had already planned to do.

Apple Bloom perked up and nodded happily at both of us, seemingly relieved that she didn't have to face it alone, anyway. "Ah think that's ah wonderful idea. Both o' ya are right kind fer helpin' me. Thank ya, both," she agreed, giving us both a sincere looking smile.

Spike returned it and I nodded to her before nudging the piles of papers her way. "Let us help you more, then. If you can get these out of the way, imagine how smart you'll feel when helping Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I can't give you the answers, of course, but I can certainly help you figure them out for yourself. So long as you promise not to just give them the answers, either," I explained, raising an eyebrow to her.

She sat upright again and placed a hoof over her chest, going into the all too familiar motions. "Cross mah heart an' hope ta fly, stick ah cupcake in mah eye! Ah promise truly not ta cheat in any way!" she promised. I was impressed by her honesty and nodded to her. She really did take after her sister. Well, they said imitation was the most sincere form of flattery. I didn't know who 'they' was in that regard, but it was correct. She must really look up to Applejack.

"Good girl. Are we ready to begin then?" I asked pleasantly, kind of looking forward to helping her out.

She grinned and nodded twice, sliding up the first paper as Spike and I settled in to help as best we could.

* * * * *

It took me a couple tries, but I figured out that Apple Bloom best learned through relation. If she could apply the question to something in the real world, she could wrap her head around it fairly quickly, I realized. That being said, I took up her namesake as an example and applied apples to every example I gave her. Addition and subtraction were as easy as giving and taking them away. Multiplication involved adding entire baskets of apples, each containing the same amount, and division involved splitting the apples up into the baskets in equal amounts. She figured out almost everything right away based on that.

After I went through the basics with her again, applying apple examples to everything, it was an easy step up to throwing them into an equation. She was confused about mixing numbers and letters together until I explained to her that the letter was just a fancy way of saying a number was there that you could change the value of. There was always a proud feeling accompanying seeing that look of dawning comprehension on somepony's face when you're trying to explain something. She realized how valuable the equations could be once I explained why it was a good thing to be able to change the value the letter represented. Orders were a lot easier to fill out if you could just plug in the amount of barrels you sold to somepony and have the equation give you the exact amount of bits.

Three of the five pages went by with that in mind. It was a little tricky, but Spike was amazingly creative and helped me come up with an applicable apple situation for each different type of problem she had. Overall, it wasn't a bad way to pass an hour, honestly.

In the meantime, memories drifted back through me, surprisingly of my days as an engineer and Keldarian. I knew they weren't mine, technically, but it was so easy to forget that when I could see them clearly through his eyes. Still, those were some of the very few actual happy memories he had. We were similar in that regard for certain, as I loved working out the answers to things and making stuff. There was nothing more rewarding for me than putting something together with my own knowledge and skill and then seeing it work. Even if, by 'work', I meant that it was especially lethal when launched at high velocity towards our enemies, or particularly good at stopping the same from happening to us, I was still delighted that what I'd created served its purpose.

A light twitch went through me, and I frowned lightly. What would I think if I'd created me? That was a tricky one. What purpose had I originally been intended to serve? Without Doctor Kyliona's notes, there was no way to be certain, I realized; I'd have to contact Keela tonight and see how the charging was doing. Regardless of what it was, however, I had a sneaking suspicion I'd failed epically in my original purpose. But, if I could watch my creation not only gain a life of its own, but true goals and desires, protecting those things important to it, would I still consider it a failure if it didn't do what I intended it for?

I tried, but I couldn't manage to put it into perspective. Creating life like that felt amazingly similar to how I imagined a parent would feel. Would one be disappointed if their child didn't behave as intended or designed? I smiled gently, understanding that question, at least. No, I wouldn't be disappointed, because if it truly were my child, I wouldn't have an intention or design for it in the first place. I'd be happy if it was happy and making its own way. Could Doctor Kyliona say the same about me?

That was a very good question. I didn't know anything about her or the circumstances of my 'birth' into this world, but I also found that I didn't particularly care, ironically. Ever since my talks with Tia, I realized that it didn't really matter. That was what she ultimately said, right? All that mattered was everything in front of me right now. Who I was and am, and what I've done as myself. Fluttershy and Twilight accepted that much, I thought.

So, was I responsible for the deaths of billions of innocent Keldarians, then? The number alone was beyond me. It was empty. It was a twenty-four with eight zeroes after it. It didn't really mean anything beyond what could only be described as mind-numbingly horrifying. That numbing part was important in that definition. If I truly was responsible for that act, then did I deserve any happiness ever again? Definitely not. I could never forgive myself for that, if so. Heh. Forgiveness... Pending a complete memory wipe at that point, it wouldn't be possible. So what then?

I couldn't remember if I was responsible. Did that mean one way or another? The scary part was, no, it didn't. My memory was partial at best, because the majority of it that wasn't recorded by my mechanical side was organic in nature. Organic wasn't the most reliable source of storage. I didn't trust my own memory, and that was that.

"Uh, Mender, ya there?" Apple Bloom suddenly spoke up, causing me to start and snap back to reality. My eyes focused on her again, and she smiled, presenting me with the full sheet worked out. Whoa! How long had I been zoning out?

Recovering fast, I nodded to her and picked up the sheet she presented with my mouth, setting it down in front of me to look over. I felt all right in telling her if she got a problem wrong and having her try again, as long as I didn't tell her how to get it right. The point of 'homework' was to practice doing the equations, not neededly to test your knowledge on the fly. I wasn't too worried about bumping her grade up a little bit with this.

A minute and a half later, I assured her she had only missed one problem, and pointed out number four to her. She seemed pleased with that, but still took the paper back to re-do that one. It wasn't a huge mistake, as she'd just forgotten to flip the sign of a constant. Yawning, I rested my head on my hooves and watched her work, noticing her mistake from the first time and fixing it rapidly. After she finished, she looked back up at me silently, and I gave her a nod.

To my surprise, the little filly squealed happily and gave my face a rather awkward hug, given the angle. I snickered as she backed off, grinning at me. "This is amazin'! Ah'm gonna get ah hundred percent on this assignment, an' it's all thanks ta yer new way o' explainin' things!" she exclaimed, perking upright and swaying as she hugged the paper to her chest.

I continued smiling at her, but shook my head. "You're doing all the work, AB. You're the one figuring it all out. I've made sure not to directly help with anything," I reminded, causing her to blush as she realized the implications of my compliment.

"That's nice o' ya, but ya really are helpin' me somethin' amazin'! Yer easily as smart as mah brother, an' that's sayin' something! He just... well, he don't have that much time ta help me, usually," she explained, her exuberance fading a bit as she switched to a soft smile instead.

I considered it for a moment, before asking, "So if I help make things easier for everypony on the farm, would that mean that he can spend more time with you and Applejack?"

The little filly nodded twice, slowly slipping back to a grin of approval. I snickered and nodded back. That settled it, then. Knowing there was a problem fully within my capabilities to fix, I couldn't just sit idly by while one or more of my friends suffered from it. "Very well. I'll help him set up anything he needs," I promised.

It was worth it just to see her smiling face. Spike laughed and shook his head at the display between us. "Not to be harsh or anything, dude, but I should probably point out that you're a total sucker for the cute looks," he pointed out, smirking at me.

I gave him a flat stare for a moment before chuckling as well. All three of us broke into snickers after another moment, Apple Bloom looking a little guilty, however. "Ah'm not tryin' ta get him ta work fer free, though. Ah agree with sis! He deserves ta be paid like everypony else," she reasoned, setting her paper down finally and shifting to the fifth and last page.

Sighing as she brought up the stubborn mare, I realized that Applejack wasn't going to let me get out of it this time anyway. About the only way I could assure I didn't get paid is by sneaking the bits back to her somehow without her noticing, which felt a bit underhooved. Tricking the Element of Honesty seemed like a very bad idea. Even if she weren’t mad over it, the karmic retribution would probably be violent, given my track record.

"Fine, but I'm not accepting anything over thirty percent overhead, no matter what the project is. Materials and supplies will be up to your family to acquire, obviously," I laid down, sure it would get back to one of her siblings sooner or later.

She tilted her head and surprised me by asking, "What's overhead mean?" Heh, curious little filly, I noted.

"Overhead for a big contract job is the amount of bits set aside for paying anything not to do directly with materials. Usually the salary of the workers, such as me, is paid out of it. As I'll probably be the only worker, I'll probably get most of it. If somepony helps me, I'll split the amount," I explained as simply as I could. There was no point in getting into the super-specific details of what did and didn't count as project overhead, the possibility of a supply fund, or joint holdings. Besides, it had been a while since my original had done public contract work. Most of his recent projects that I could vaguely recall were engineering projects for the war effort. He didn't get paid for those...

Spike considered my words before nodding as well, asking, "So, thirty percent overhead means that, in addition to the supplies needed to make whatever Big Mac needs, you get paid thirty percent of the cost of it all?"

He was fairly dead on, so I nodded to him and smiled. He just raised an eyebrow, however. "Uh, she's probably not going to be pleased with that number," he suggested a moment later, looking uncomfortable suddenly.

I blinked, then frowned myself. "Is it too high?" I inquired, glad I'd mentioned it to them first, now! Note to self, always run my requested fee estimates by somepony not involved in the project and get an opinion on the values involved.

He snorted, however, and shook his head rapidly. "Uh, not exactly. That means that on the conveyor project, which was a little over two hundred bits total, given that you supplied half the panels we needed, you'd only be getting paid sixty or seventy bits. How many hours did it take all of us working on it to finish?" he questioned, giving me a more than skeptical look.

I stared back, seeing where he was going with this instantly, but biting anyway. He was quite sharp, I realized. No doubt his upbringing had made him very clever. "Uh, about eighteen to twenty hours," I threw out, taking an educated guess and generously truncating off the 'testing' hour and a half.

"Oh! Oh! But ya have ta times that by how many ponies helped! It woulda taken ah lot longer otherwise," Apple Bloom chipped in, making me wince. Okay, that made the amount of hours significantly worse.

Spike grinned at her and nodded, ignoring my sour look and flattened back ears. "Exactly! So even doubling his pay with the assumption he didn't supply any of the plates like he did, you're probably not even going to add up to a bit an hour at thirty percent," he pointed out, turning back to me. I gave him a death stare, of course, which only caused him to start snickering. Damn, I needed to work on that angry look...

Apple Bloom nodded along, easily managing to follow the math as she grinned as well. "Sis so needs ta hear this! Ah think she'll be proud o' mah fancy mathematics, don't ya think?" she suggested. My glare shifted to her in less than a heartbeat.

"Don't you dare! It's going to be hard enough arguing her down without figures to back up her opinion. Gah. She's my friend. There's no way I'm going to work for full price," I refused adamantly, abruptly shaking my head. It wasn't right to do that to somepony who actually wanted to be my friend. Friend! That word was unheard of in my original's dimension. There was no way I was going to sour it even in the least by being greedy.

AB smiled, however, and shook her head before leaning forward and lightly hugging my snout again, causing me to swallow weakly. She didn't have to try to push the cuteness to get her way, I hope she realized. I valued her friendship, too, but admittedly, I enjoyed the hug. There was something simply so warm about the gentle affection she was displaying. It made me smile ever so slightly, my frustration and heartbeat lessening as she hugged me. Why was that? Mostly, it felt like just realizing she truly cared.

"Ah know ya wanna be nice, but she'll like it, too, if ya don't fight it too much. As nice as ya think yer bein', Sis actually feels real bad every time she thinks she cheated ya out o' pay. Ya gotta promise ta accept somethin' ah bit more reasonable this time, okay?" the little filly asked, leaning back away from me and giving me a soft smile.

Oh. That was true. I'd never actually considered it from her perspective. Given that she was so stubborn about paying me, why had I honestly thought that I was making her happy by refusing all payment? I considered it for a moment, and realized that I'd technically never wanted to make her happy. No, I'd wanted to do right by her. I could understand where Apple Bloom was coming from, however.

"You're right, of course. As much as I don't want to charge your family for anything, I don't want to make Applejack sad either. I hadn't thought about it like that before. Thank you, Apple Bloom," I finally admitted, mentally promising to be a bit more 'fair' when it came time to negotiate for my cut. I suppose, with a bit more bits coming in, I could afford some nicer things, too. Maybe I could even get Twilight and Fluttershy presents!

"I'm glad. Sis will be happy, too!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, then picked up the last sheet on the bed. I watched her for a minute, then smiled as she raised an eyebrow to it. "Uh, besides them addin' more letters in, Ah don't see how these problems are different," she muttered uneasily, that familiar hesitation in her voice. Ah, I've had that many a time, when I suspected a problem to be significantly harder than it appeared.

"That's because they're not different. Just another letter tossed in to shove to one side or another," I revealed. She looked up in surprise for a moment, then smiled happily at me and ducked her head back down to pick up her pencil again.

I smiled gently and lay back down. Spike yawned next to me a moment later and flopped over against my shoulder, laying the side of his head down against me. I just rested there, letting him get comfy before I let my thoughts drift off again. It sure was taking Nurse Redheart a while...

* * * * *

Despite the problems being similar, it still took Apple Bloom a bit longer to finish all of them, due to the additional steps involved. She surprised me, and at the same time, she didn't when she got every single question correct the first try. When I'd told her, though, she almost fell off the cot in the middle of her cheer.

Spike winced as he hauled her back upright fully, and she gave him a sheepish grin. "Thanks, Spike! Ah wasn't payin' enough attention, Ah guess," she muttered quietly, embarrassed by the looks of it.

I snickered and shook my head, pointing out, "If you had to pick a spot to get hurt, this would be the most ideal. Still, try to avoid that. Redheart isn't in at the moment."

"Yeah, she's really, really late," Spike reminded, making sure the filly was stable and had ceased trying to throw herself off the cot before letting her foreleg go and backing up again to where I was.

Frowning, I glanced towards the door, Clocky informing me that it had been an hour and forty minutes since Nurse Redheart had left. That was way, way too long. "I agree. Spike, you know first aid, right? Hold down the fort, would you? I'm going to go see if I can find her," I requested, sliding up and off the cot a moment later.

Spike perked up, looking surprised at first, and then puffed up with what could only be described as pride as he threw me a salute. Heh. I figured he'd like me leaving him in charge. "Oh, can Ah go, too?! Ah'm ah little worried about Sweetie," Apple Bloom asked timidly. Eh? Why was she asking me?

"Of course you can come, AB. Nothing's stopping you, really," I pointed out, smiling back at her. She perked up and bounded off the cot as well, galloping the short distance to catch up with me again.

"I so got this covered! I'll keep everything together until somepony gets back!" Spike assured as we both headed towards the door.

Turning, I gave him a regal salute before heading outside. Apple Bloom looked more than amused when she followed me out, but kept her mouth shut. Okay, now to find them. It wouldn't be easy, given the entire camp to search. Further, I had to take into account that they might be in the surrounding woods, too! It would be easiest to break up the terrain into quadrants and split up, covering a grid pattern. Asking individuals if they'd seen them as well would significantly narrow down the search zones. We should be able to find them before dark, hopefully. Provided they didn't go into the woods, of course. Then I'd have to set up some long term surveillance and look for signs of passing so we could-

"Hey, there they are down by tha bridge over the river!" Apple Bloom squeaked out, grinning as she gestured down towards the rightmost bridge. Oh. Or there was that.

"Good job, AB! Let's go," I congratulated, deciding it wasn't worth overthinking and heading directly towards the three ponies. Redheart was indeed with them, and seemed to be talking to Sweetie Belle on the bank while Scootaloo played in the water in front of them. The little orange filly perked up and stood on one of the rocks in the center of the stream when she saw us approach.

Apple Bloom waved to her, but she bound off the rock almost instantly and shot towards us in a blur. My eyes widened as I braced myself just in case, but she skidded to a halt in front of us, shaking some of the water off before holding her hoof up. "Ah, just a sec. Wait until Nurse Redheart says it's okay. She's trying to talk to Sweetie and get her out of the funk, and no offense, but seeing you at the moment might be a bad idea," Scootaloo explained, giving me a sympathetic look. Oh. Well, um, at least they weren't in any danger or anything.

My ears lowered, but I nodded slightly. "Ah, sorry. AB and I were just worried as you'd been gone a long time. I'll go back and keep Spike company, then," I apologized. Scootaloo winced slightly but glanced back at her friend down by the shore.

"Mender," Apple Bloom muttered, frowning at me. All I could manage was a shrug in return. Staying here and accidentally being spotted was probably just as bad.

"You can stay here, AB. I'll see you all later," I said, turning and heading back towards the medical cabin. I tried to remain hopeful, but it was kind of hard at this point if it had taken almost two hours of talking and she still wasn't sure about things. Would Sweetie still want to be my friend after all this? I closed my eyes and sighed, listening to the clinking of my brace as I walked. It was an ugly sound, and it reminded me of how useless my body was at the moment. Another part of me whispered in the darker corners of my mind that I was only fooling myself, and I might as well accept the other me as the real one. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my leg. I also wouldn't have to worry about anypony wanting something from me that I wasn't in a position to give, then. Nopony would want anything to do with me if I looked like a monster from their most horrible nightmare.

Spike looked up questioningly from the table now as I walked back inside, but I strolled past him without saying anything and flopped back down onto my cot again. Well, my rented cot. I lay there with my eyes closed in the silence for a moment before the repeating sounds of light scratches came from the floor, getting closer. The telltale sounds of Spike's clawed feet on the wooden floor, I noted.

"Uh, are you okay, Mender? You came back really fast. Did you find them?" he asked hesitantly. A part of me didn't feel like talking, as it used up a lot of energy, but Spike was my friend and had never let me down.

After a moment of considering the questions, I finally replied with, "Yeah, they're down by the river near the bridge, talking. Sweetie Belle, um, didn't want to see me yet, so I came back here. Nurse Redheart's easily within view of the cabin, however, so we could probably go back to ours if you wanted," I suddenly realized, sitting up again slowly.

"Oh. Well, if you want to. Tank's taking a bath, but we can run some water at our cabin instead," Spike informed quietly, looking suddenly unsure of what to say. I stared at him for a moment before swallowing and managing a nod.

"The full beds are more comfortable. I'm going to take a nap over there, I think. You can stay here if you want," I offered, standing up again, careful not to accidentally step or sit on any of Apple Bloom's papers. Neatly, I shifted them back into a stack and slid them into the saddlebag she'd pulled them out of before getting off the cot.

Spike frowned at me, but nodded of course. "Mender, I know what it looks like but... She's not going to not like you or anything... I don't think she'd, um, do that," he tried to comfort, not sounding comfortable with, or even that sure of his statement. I stared at him for a moment before my eyes softened and I shook my head.

"It's up to her. I'll understand either way. I've hurt her feelings and turned her down, so it's acceptable, really," I pointed out. It was strange, but I wasn't quite sure whom I was pointing it out to. I was talking to Spike, but it felt more as if that had been addressed to myself instead.

He frowned even more, but I walked past him and decided upon a strategic retreat before I confused myself even more. He started to turn, probably to try to talk to me about it even more, but I cheated a little. Two thin strands left my shoulders, hooked and stuck to the doorframe, and went taut with an elastic snap, whipping me over to the door about three times faster than I should have been able to manage as he turned. They pulled back into my shoulders as fast as I sailed at the door, and I slid, opening it in a fluid motion to avoid crashing.

Spike looked surprised to see that I'd made it a full five meters by the time he finished rotating in place, but I didn't do more than glance before stepping outside and gently shutting the door again. Talking about it confused me, and I wasn't sure what to think. Really, I didn't want to think about losing a friend suddenly. After realizing how amazing it was to have friends in the first place, my chest shivered and my eyes watered at the thought of possibly losing one.

My eyes stayed locked dead in front of me as I headed to the right after exiting. Our cabin was coincidentally, or very un-coincidentally as the case probably was, right next to the medical cabin. At least that made it a short walk, and a shorter duration I had to listen to the metallic clanking of my leg. Exhaling softly, I noticed Big Mac wasn't in his usual spot sitting out front with the repair jobs. I decided it probably wasn't any of my business where he was at the moment, and I headed rapidly inside the cabin without meeting anypony's eye contact.

Sliding inside, I shakily closed the door, staring at the wood for a moment. My eyes slowly slid to the right, looking at my trembling hoof against the door. What was wrong with me?! Wincing, I held my left hoof to the tightness in my chest and felt something warm slide down my cheek. Damn it.

"You're pathetic, that's what's wrong with you," she whispered from the corner, just slightly before I became aware of her. My eyes softened as I stared into the wood.

"Why do you keep annoying me? Don't you have better things to do as a corpse?" I asked softly, barely a whisper as I refused to look over at her. She was only a figment of my own slipping sanity regardless. 'Looking' at her was kind of pointless.

A giggle. "Sorry, but you're the best thing to do in this reality. Despite being pathetic and an idiot, you're worlds beyond the rest of the filth in this world," she explained, immediately making me regret asking in the first place.

Exhaling softly, I slid my hoof down and turned, walking over to my bunk instead. I heard the sounds of wet dragging and weak hoofsteps, and assumed she was 'moving' towards me as I walked. At least my imagination was attempting to be realistic. Maybe her muscles would eventually fall apart then and she wouldn't be able to talk anymore. That would be a blessing. Then I'd only have to smell her.

"That's not a nice thought. Good job! You're getting closer to embracing your inner monster," she complimented, sounding amused as she walked after me.

Rolling my eyes, I clambered into bed and flopped over, ignoring her with my back turned. "Just shut up and let me sleep," I ordered, knowing she wouldn't listen anyway.

"Aww, upset that the little baby filly might not want to be your friend anymore? Heh. Your priorities are so strange," she pointed out, sounding absolutely delighted. I didn't ask, or say anything in return, knowing she was going to elaborate regardless.

And elaborate she did. "Honestly, you do everything you possibly can to ensure you're the most miserable you can possibly be. I didn't even have to do anything! It's ironic, really. You should have just accepted and mated with her like she wanted, of course. They're really impressionable when they're that young, so you probably could have turned her into your own little-"

What was left of her head was torn off and crushed into the wall next to the door before she could even finish the sentence, my tentacles writhing in pure hatred as I glared at the rest of her body as it slumped over, the blue light from my eyes burning across her form as she faded away. The giggling laughter came from all around me, echoing softer and softer before finally disappearing as well.

Panting, I shakily pulled my tentacle back, noticing a light gash along the wall where it had impacted. My entire body was trembling now, and I felt sweat start to dampen my fur. Damn it, what was wrong with me?! If I hadn't been so acutely aware of every minor detail at that moment, I would have never noticed the light static flickering in the corner of my vision. I froze, watching it before it disappeared a moment later. That wasn't in the room. That had been in my eye display.

My expression shifted to a frown as one of my processors lit up, rapidly writing up the code I requested on the fly. It was silly, and I was being paranoid, of course. Regardless, I devoted the entire processor to running the program the second it was done about half a minute later. An extremely low-key, subliminal scanning program to hunt and destroy. On a hunch, I hooked it into my memory bank and remaining three processors, making sure to run it on the processor I hadn't had to repair. I was just being silly, probably, but no. Let them call me paranoid if they ever found out. I'd rather be accused of paranoia than wishing I had been properly so.

Greeted with silence yet again, I relaxed against the mattress in our cabin. Apart from the newly acquired nick in the wall, it was a really nice place. The main room had four reasonably sized beds. Big Mac had one all to himself, of course, being almost the size of two ponies. I shared mine with Spike, and the Crusaders were set to take one of the others. Or both of the others. I suppose it didn't really matter. The main room was then cut off from two smaller sections. The bathroom had a full wall and door for privacy, while the kitchen unit had a half wall partition to let in light, and let out heat, I imagined. There was a working stove, fridge, and sink in the kitchen, and we were well stocked. This was a nice place, honestly.

Sharing my bed didn't bother me. I closed my eyes and rested against the soft blue sheets. Due to the nature of my 'sleep', I didn't move around or snore during it. It had taken me only a single night to realize that when I was actively visiting Keela, or hiding inside of myself, I wasn't actually letting my mind 'rest' like it needed. I discovered after that, largely by accident, that I could still fall asleep like normal. It made sense, considering I'd been doing it all along before finding out I was a cyborg. Sleeping with Twilight's horn against me even let her join in with the interesting experience.

Twilight had called it 'lucid dreaming', but it was essentially just being cognitively aware of my own consciousness while asleep. The dream realm was one of true fantasy, manipulations of anything being possible. Kind of like being in the most detailed video game ever, only with myself in full control. I was happy that Twilight could join in, and while she couldn't manipulate the world the same way I could, she seemed to honestly just enjoy being with me in there. I missed that. It had, well, ceased after she got in trouble with her parents.

Still, she surprised me. I figured she'd want to conduct experiments and take advantage of a world where anything was possible, but she said it would sully the results because it wasn't potentially real. Regardless, she spent time with me instead while we both slept. Sometimes I just let things flow around us from event to event as we played, just laughing and running through the scenery. Other times I constructed more elaborate things and we played games. Showing her how to play 'Battleship' using an entire fleet in an actual ocean was a lot of fun.

More warmth dripped down my cheeks as I curled up against myself. So what if I was pathetic? So what if I didn't embrace that other part of me and just wanted to be normal? I missed Twilight and Fluttershy already. I wanted to be able to dream with Twilight again, but my big mouth telling her brother had ruined that. I wanted to figure out a way to bring Fluttershy into the dreams, too, even! It would be amazing. I could show her anything she wanted to see. The old Abylith Gardens from my memories, which was sort of a 'zoo' and natural habitat for a ton of creatures we'd imported from our allies. The gardens were an entire moon we'd given an atmosphere, and it drifted along so close to our second planet that you could see the hue shifts as the atmospheres interacted. It was beautiful, spreading auroras across the entire sky at night. I wished she could see it. I was sad that such a wonderful place didn't exist anymore.

Giving up and just letting the warmth stream down my cheeks, I let my mind drift away, pushing myself as hard as I could into my dreams. This time, I visited the empty gardens by myself...

Next Chapter: Chapter 47 Estimated time remaining: 41 Hours, 5 Minutes
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