My eyes cracked open to the image of Sir Win staring down at me. I lay on my back and above us large trees loomed.

“I guess I should have warned you before dragging you through the Tartarus Pass,” the demon pony laughed. “Though, you screamed so much! I don’t think you breathed in even once. No wonder you passed out!”

“Where are we?” I stood and dusted myself off and then looked around.

“The Everfree Forest, about three miles from Ponyville,” the demon replied.

“Why didn’t you take me directly to the town?”

Sir Win looked at me with an expression that stated that I had asked a stupid question. “Opening a portal to Hell is not something you do in the middle of a town, silly.”

I huffed then looked around again, trying to get my bearings. “Which direction should I go?”

“That way.” Sir Win pointed his hoof towards the setting sun. “You might run into Zecora's hut. Well, I need to go now, need to make a wedding cake. Have fun!”

“Wait what about-” But the demon disappeared in a column of fire. I was going to ask him about the different types of dangerous animals that inhabited the Everfree. Since I still couldn’t fly I was far more uneasy with trekking the woods in the growing darkness. Also, I didn’t know who this Zecora was.

I started off in the direction of Ponyville. I jogged quickly but quietly through the trees until I noticed a light off to my right. Deciding that it would be better to stay somewhere inhabited instead of wandering around in the dark I made my way towards the source. It turned out to be a small hut decorated in what seemed to be tribal art.

“Do cannibals live in these woods?” I asked myself absentmindedly.

I decided that it would probably be safer to bypass the house and continue on my way. Apparently I got turned around in the darkness and ended up going in the opposite direction of Ponyville. Not wanting to walk any further and increase my level of lost, I found what appeared to be a ruin and made myself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as you can be on a stone floor in the middle of a crumbling castle.

Before I fell asleep I took a moment to ponder the direction my life has taken. The more I thought about it the more ridiculous it all was. I was a pony, having a relationship with a pony, in a world full of ponies, all the while searching for a can of Red Bull. What the hell, fate! You tripping on LSD or something? Oh well, when I found the can I was getting the hell out of here.

Or, maybe not. I had never really considered a life here. It’s not like life here was bad. It was actually quite nice. Even better than Earth... a lot better than Earth! I had a girlfriend here! Perhaps I wouldn’t leave. Only time would tell.

I awoke the next morning in a surprisingly good mood only to have it ruined by Sir Win. The demon pony sat on a toppled pillar with a crooked smile.

“I was afraid that you got lost,” he said. “I forgot that your wings are clipped. Then again, clipped wings look quite stylish.”

I glared at him, “Could you help me get to Ponyville?”

“Sure I can,” he smiled widely. “But I’m also here to warn you.”

My eyebrows raised questioningly as the demon continued.

“Valiant has been having problems recently with a pair of ponies that are called the Black Twins. Right now their attention is on Valiant but don’t expect a quiet stay in Ponyville.”

“Noted,” I replied.

“Good,” he stood up a stretched. “Now to fix your wings.”

The flaming pony waved his hoof and my wings burst into flames. I think I popped a lung screaming. Now you might be saying, “But it was magical fire, it shouldn't have hurt.” It was real hellfire! It burned worse than a good “yo mama” joke!
Thankfully the flames died away and my wings were unharmed. Not only that, they were restored to their original glory! Perhaps Sir Win wasn’t as bad as I thought. He was still a severe pain, but a helpful one.

“The only payment I want from you is when you arrive in town that you go and admire the glorious wedding decorations I have been putting up.” Sir Win smiled triumphantly.

I nodded in agreement, “Sounds fair.”

“Well, I need to get back.” He gave my a little farewell wave. “Bye bye.”

Once again Sir Win disappeared into a ball of fire and I was left alone. I decided to test my wings out and leaped into the air. The forest stretched out for several miles in all directions but I could see barely Ponyville to the West. So, I headed towards it.

Flying was so much easier than walking. I felt a little sorry for Valiant. He was still stuck with the curse of being grounded. I was by far the luckier one, though, Nova could use magic so he got the biggest bonus. I wondered what happened to Nova as I soared over the trees. Maybe he had made it back to our universe or perhaps he was dead. I would be okay with the second option.

My arrival into Ponyville was unspectacular. I spent my first minutes there searching for Rainbow Dash but Twilight told me that she was busy. Speaking of Twilight, when I walked into her house she hit me in the face with a book. Obviously still angry about the time when me, Valiant and Nova opened the gates of Tartarus. I didn’t stick around after I asked my question and headed to the wedding area.

Sir Win’s decorations were quite nice. But my admiration was cut short when a pony came up behind me and put me in a choke hold.

“What are you doing here, asshole? I thought you were on a quest.” The familiar voice of Valiant hissed.

I gasped for air. I wanted to give him some smart reply but his earth pony strength was overpowering and I didn’t want him to have an excuse to crack a few of my bones. Though, I don't think he needed an excuse.

“I just getting some supplies and visiting Dashie.”

I needed to find a way to calm him down, perhaps flattery.

“What kind of supplies?” He shot back. Why did he need to know? Mr. Nosey!

“Well, food and stuff.” An idea hit me, Valiant was good at making things. I would ask him for a weapon. A guy with such a large ego couldn't resist showing off his skills and I would get a way to defend myself out of it. “I also wanted to ask you a favor. I need some kind of weapon.”

He let me go. “What did you have in mind?”

I didn’t believe how well that worked. “I have been fighting pirates, bandits, criminals, and other assorted bad guys. Make it something big.”

Valiant thought for a moment. “Well, I was considering possible ways to kill a couple of ponies. A broadsword sounded like a good way to accomplish that. I suppose I could make another one for you.”

This was working out better than I had hoped. “Really?”

“There is a catch, though.” Valiant continued. Of course there would be a catch. “You have to go to Pinkie and Fluttershy’s wedding.”

I had no urge to do that but it could have been worse. “That doesn’t sound so-”

Valiant interrupted me. “And you have to help me kidnap Applejacks cousin, Braeburn.”

The robot guy that could break my spine with a single hoof? I didn’t think that was a good idea. But oh well, I was getting a broadsword. I shrugged. “It can not be any worse than what I agreed to do the last time I was in town.”

I prepared to ask him my second question.

“Speaking of bad things,” Valiant said before I could ask. “I have no idea where to find Rainbow.”

I glared at him. “How did you know I was going to ask?”

“Well, considering your track record, every time the two of you get close, sex tends to happen.”

“I like her!” I didn’t know why he always brought that up. It wasn’t my fault that he couldn’t hold onto a girlfriend.

Valiant shook his head. “Just don’t be surprised if the sword slips and castrates you.”

Before I could give some form of retort he turned and walked away. I really hated him. But I could dwell on my anger later because I needed to find Dash.