Seven minutes, more or less. That is how long it took for the pirate ship to get blasted to the edge of hell when we entered Port Freeforall. Apparently the port had been guarded by not just one fort but three, as well as several heavy frigates. Now I conveniently floated on a beat up longboat with Captain Cannonball and Squibles as the opposing ships loomed over us.

“Pirates!” A voice ordered. “Drop your weapons and prepare to be taken into custody!”

We complied and it turned out that most of our captors were mooses, moose... whatever, and a few zebras. They quickly took us to the port and threw us into the main fort’s prison. Being locked in a cell with angry Canadian wildlife guarding the outside was somewhat frightening, but being locked in one with a pissed off minotaur that could probably tear a pony in half made me want to crawl under a low bench and hide.

And so I did. Luckily a moose officer, or some other high ranking individual, came to take us to the local governor. We walked in silence for most of the trip and I honestly didn’t mind. As we walked through the town I asked our captor a question that had been tugging at my mind ever since we were sunk.

“So,” I asked nonchalantly. “Why the heavy defence of such a small port?”

The moose gave a small chuckle, “So we can sink no good ruffians like you.”

“True, but it seems like such a large amount of protection for a relatively unimportant port.”

The moose remained silent until we reached the courthouse then replied as the doors opened.

“Have you ever heard of the Orange Tempest?” He looked back at us with searching eyes.

I shook my head but both pirates nodded.

“They say the Orange Tempest is the luckiest bein’ in the world,” Squibles stated in a hushed tone. “An orange pony able of overcomin’ all obstacle no matter the size due to luck alone.”
The moose nodded. “Him and his six female servants were the terror of the sea for a while until they disappeared like ghost after a bloody naval battle against him and his dolphin allies.”

“An orange pony?” My mind suddenly jumped to one possible pony that could match that description

“We hope to someday bring him to justice!” The moose looked longingly at the ceiling as if admiring some future moment.

“What if I told you that I knew where the pony that you call the Orange Tempest lives?”

The group stopped and I bumped into the back of the moose.

“Are you saying that you know the Orange Tempest?” he asked, I could tell that he didn’t believe me at all.

“A trade of information for my freedom?”

The moose pondered my offer for a moment. “Depends if you can convince the moose court that you actually do know the Orange Tempest.”

He pushed open the door and we entered the courtroom. I was slightly surprised at the simple layout of the room. Three chairs had been set before a table with what appeared to be five moose nobles seated behind it.

“Sit,” the oldest looking one ordered.

We did and they stared at us for what felt like a good thirty minutes. Other than the nervous coughs from Squibles or the angry growls from Captain Cannonball whenever I looked at hi, the room was silent. I was starting to think that this was a tactic of theirs intent on messing with our nerves but all I felt was a rush of sleepiness overtaking my mind. I was just about to start drooling when the one that told us to sit finally spoke.

“Because you are all pirates,” he said in a long drawn out tone. “Your punishment is already set forth under article five of naval protocol. You will now be taken to the harbor, caged and drowned in the sea.”

“Wow-wow-wow, am I not able to defend myself?” I tried not to panic.

“No.” The moose nobles stood and started to walk out of the room “Try breathing in the water, it might make it go faster.”

“But I know who the Orange Tempest is!”

They stopped and faced me. “Who is he then?”

“He is a guy, a stallion, in Ponyville that goes by the name of Valiant,” I said this very quickly trying to get as much in as I could. “He lives with this crazy purple unicorn and her pet dragon. You could probably send some assassins to slit his throat while he sleeps or something.”

“Thank you for this information,” another noble said.

I smiled widely.

“Mooflekin,” the noble motioned towards the officer who brought us there. “Take these three to their reward.”

I was excited, and sort of disbelieving that I had gotten out of trouble so easily. That was until I realised my reward was nothing more than my original punishment. Being drowned in a cage is not something that seems very appealing and I started to look for more drastic means of escape as we were marched to the docks.

Now, being a human a majority of your life and suddenly becoming something with different and unforeseeable traits can make someone forget about those newly acquired abilities. take wings for example, I was kicking myself in the ass the whole time while being imprisoned for not using them to escape as the ship was being sunk in the first place. The knowledge of another ability came to me suddenly as I was thrown into the cage and tossed into the sea.

I didn’t have that much of an opportunity to dwell on it at that moment, but it turns out pegasi can hold their breath for a very long time. I think it has something to do with flying in thin air at high altitudes, but it does come in handy when you are being drowned.

The cages we had been put into were designed to unhinge when they hit the seafloor so they wouldn’t have to pull our bodies back up. When we reached the bottom I was surprised that I wasn't feeling light headed yet, so I took this opportunity to save my sorry ass and the two pirates. It’s amazing what feats one can do when faced with a life or death situation and pulling both of the heavy and unconscious bodies of a minotaur and a griffin was no easy task.

It’s a good thing I was taught CPR.