Back to madness!

~several hours later~

"How?!? How in the name of the pure Celestia did we end up here?!?" Asked Datdamnface who had been transformed into a black unicorn with a rather grey mane. "Ask the friggin mantis men why don't ya?!?" Shouted Dryilby back, they were currently hiding behind concrete as Confetti and Pinkie Pie led an army of Mantis Men with shouts of encouragement through a hail of gunfire and lemons.

~prior~

The test will begin in 5....4....3.....2...1....

Chimed the pleasant male voice as the portal from their room containing the company of four opened. "Okay so how are we gonna do this?" Asked Datdamnface eyeing the blue portal as he tentatively stepped through. "No clue dude." Snickered Dyrilby jumping through. "Just call me Seph alright?" He called back to him as he looked around the room, it was a standard Aperture science testing chamber but in the middle sat 4 portal guns.

Seph let out a squeal and ran over to the first one, the standard orange and blue portal gun. "Mine! Oh man I've always wanted to try this out!" He said pointing the portal straight up, firing a blue portal straight up and an orange portal straight down. "Are you gonna-" Dyrilby started but was quickly interrupted as Seph jumped through. "This is awesome!" Shouted Seph as he went in and out of the portals, his inertia increasing as he sped.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He said as Seph started moaning. "Me neither-" Seph felt his throat expand as his eyes bulged.

Dyrilby winced as he saw green fly out of the barely visible stallion's mouth, it sped through the same flight course but splattered all around the room. "Okay fun time over now." Said Seph shooting a  portal to a nearby wall, this in turn shot him out at the speed of a bullet, turning him into an equine pancake against the wall, the puke soon followed.

"That was NOT a good idea at all." Said the woozy stallion moaning as he made his way over to the nearby Emancipation Grill. "Alright so how are we gonna get out of here?" He asked to the group of ponies all standing by the elevator. "Um....solving puzzles?" Asked Confetti unsure, this prompted a facepalm from Seph. "Okay solving puzzles, now we're gonna need to pair up if we wanna survive these next courses. Who wants who?" He asked, in an instant Confetti had grabbed Pinkie and had shot through the elevator which promptly closed behind them, sending the duo into the bowels of Aperture. Guess that just leaves you and me eh?" He asked to the white pegasus, Dyrilby just shrugged and walked into a nearby elevator.

"We got tests to do...and science to perform." He said with a smile. "Aperture science~ we do what we must, because, we can." Sang Seph as he jumped into the elevator.

"For the good of all the ones, except the ones who are dead~" They both sang as they descended.

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"OWW!!" Shouted Drilby as he smacked into the ground hard....for the 55th time. Seph just shook his head. "Dude if you would just follow me we could"- Dyrilby was already trying again which made Seph stop and facehoof. "Dude! Would you friggin listen to me?!?" He shouted as the pegasus jumped off the aerial faith plate yet again.

Seph could see the whole chamber before him, all they had to do was Aerial Faith plate over to a ledge where a companion cube was sitting, grab the cube, shoot a portal to a hardlight surface, cross the bridge, place the cube, and gtfo. How hard could it be right?

SMASH

The challenge was magnified tenfold because of a certain alabaster pegasus's ego. "Well if you want something done right." Muttered Seph as he picked up his portal gun with both hooves, it seemed like these portal guns were made especially for ponies....figures.

He quickly shoved Dyrilby off the Aerial Faith Plate and set a hoof down, getting launched around 170 feet into the air. "Hey!" Shouted the pegasus indignantly as he watched the black unicorn fly. Quickly following his master plan, Seph shot a blue portal over to the hardlight surface, as he landed he smiled and grabbed the cube using magic, using the portal gun again, he shot an orange portal towards an adjacent wall, making a makeshift bridge.

"No fair!" He heard Dyrilby call from below. "Use your brain for once!" He shouted back smirking a little as he placed the cube down onto the pressure pad. It made a satisfying click as the door in front of the pad opened to reveal another emancipation grill and elevator.

Seph turned around and shot two portals; an orange portal on a wall next to him, and a blue portal on a wall right next to Dyrilby.

"Now that's how we do it in D.C!" He smiled as the pegasus walked through, shooting him a glare full of content. "Hey! I tried telling you!" He said catching up to Dyrilby who had trotted ahead.

As they approached they heard a sound akin to grinding metal and shrieking joints. The elevator shot down on it's rails with a screech as both Pinkie and Confetti flew through the tube followed by.....lemons? And.....mantis men?

They heard a voice as the freaky troupe descended.

"Alright i've been thinking, when life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down!"

The two sensible ponies watched the chattering roaring group of mantis men descend down the travel tube. "I don't....even....what?" Asked Seph, his jaw still unhinged. Dyribly shook his head and pried open a small hole within the tube. "Might as well follow them." He said with a shrug. "I know this is NOT going to end well." Grumbled Seph as he climbed in. "Trust me this is going to end well!" Shouted Dryilby as he jumped in after.

===================================================================

"I am never going to ever follow your advice ever again!" Shouted Seph as gunfire roared above their concrete cover. The mantis men had somehow managed to get thier collective....things? I dunno what they're called.

Anyway the group of about 30 mantis men were now having a shoot-out with a couple of sentries. Confetti and Pinkie roared encouragement as they blindly tossed combustible lemons they found from Faust knows where.  "Onwards men! To victory!" Shouted Confetti as he reared back from his cover and tossed a well aimed sentry that took out the 17 sentries blocking their path to the GLaDOS control center. Not only had the 'grenade' and I use the term loosely taken out all the sentries, it also took out the gangplank that the troupe was on. "Aww hell." Said Confetti surveyed the smoking metal and joints barely holding up the plank.

"And this is we come in." Said Dyrilby finally coming out from his cover. Spotting a wall on the other side of the gangplank, he fired a red portal onto it and then fired an orange portal to a wall right next to the group. "Your all welcome." He said as they all single filed through the portal. "Now that's thinking outside the GlaDOS!" Chirped Pinkie as she.....bounced through a wall that DID NOT contain a portal and still arrived with the group.

"ONWARDS MEN! FOR TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!" Roared Confetti as he ran through the last set of doors separating the group of about 4 ponies and 15 mantis men from GLaDOS.

"Oops! Almost forgot this!" Said Confetti running backwards to grab a companion cube that was in a nearby dump. "Why would you need back?" Asked Seph as Confetti caught up to the rest of the group. "You know what? Never mind." The black stallion shook his head and continued running, a light shined from the double doors ahead as they parted.

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The company did not expect this.

There, sitting on the floor on a straw mat was Gordan Freeman and Chell, they both stared at each other, no words were spoken.

"So [sniff] so beautiful."

Said the robot voice of the monolithic GLaDOS. "I.....what?" Asked Dyrilby scratching his head with a hoof. Gordan got up and swung his trademarked crowbar. "I..I can't believe an individual could beat that type of pain." Sniffed Seph, a tear flowing down his cheek.

Due to the sheer power of these two monolithic symbols of sheer awesomeness sitting down and talking. The Mantis Men had disintegrated in a shower of kittens and miniature companion cubes. Confetti, GLaDOS, and Seph had broken down in tears as the non-words flowed from the two beings sitting on the mat. Chell looked around and they heard bleeping as she tried firing her portal gun on a non-portal surface. They all cried harder.

Both Pinkie and Dyribly just sat there with poker faces."LEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONSLEMONS!!" She shouted as she threw up a waterfall of combustible lemons essentially destroying the tranquility of the two.

"And there we go!" Shouted Dryrilby as he stuffed the companion cube into a suspiciously square shaped hole directly underneath GLaDOS.

"Wait! What are you doing? That's my G-Spot! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Screamed GLaDOS as the room exploded in white. The last thought going through Seph's mind was "Did a robot just have an orgasm?"

And then sweet nothing. Next Chapter: A realistic simulation of killing floor Estimated time remaining: 29 Minutes