Dr. McNinja goes on an Equestrian Adventure

by Mysterious Stranger

Chapter 2: Chapter 2: An escape of epic proportions

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With a splash, Dr. McNinja's severed tree crashed into the river and kept moving towards the palace without losing any momentum. As soon as he was close enough, he nimbly jumped onto the pile of rubble the collapsed tower had made. Several winged diminutive white horses wearing golden armor were scattered among the debris like rag dolls.

"What... what now... another intruder?" coughed one of the pegasi as Dr. McNinja walked up to him.

"No, not an intruder. A doctor and a ninja, here to help. I'm Dr. McNinja," Dr. McNinja said as Gordito and Yoshi landed on the pile of rubble beside him. "And this is my sidekick Gordito. He's the human, not the dinosaur."

"A... what? A human? I've never heard of a human. Or a dinosaur. Which is which?" moaned the winged stallion.

Dr. McNinja scowled underneath his ninja mask. If King Radical was from this land, how could the horse not know what a human was?

"What happened here? Who’s attacking your palace?" asked Gordito, not one to beat around the bush.

"It was a unicorn... not a pony... but a horse... like Princess Celestia." The guard pony wheezed. "Feels like he sucked something out of me, made my wings stop working."

Dr. McNinja got down on his knees and carefully examined the pony's wings with his hands.

"No broken bones,” he mused. "And the muscles seem just fine."

With effort, the pegasus pushed the doctor's hands away.

"Don't worry about me, I'm not important," he muttered. "If you're here to help, go make sure that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are safe."

"Then I'll go do that," Dr. McNinja said as he rose, still puzzled about what was wrong with the winged pony.

Dr. McNinja and Gordito charged into the palace through the opening the collapsed tower had made. As he tore through the marble hallways, Dr. McNinja noticed more pegasi, unicorns, and normal ponies lying around. All of them looked like they had been weakened, but none of them appeared physically injured. Debris from destroyed walls and shattered palace decorations were everywhere, as if a hurricane had passed by. After a minute of running and following the path of destruction, Dr. McNinja and Gordito burst into what appeared to be a throne room.

Before them was a large white unicorn whose horn, tail, and mane bore the colors of the rainbow. He stood above two other horses on the ground. Both of the downed mares were alicorns, wore tiaras on their heads, and seemed as if they were seconds away from passing out. Dr. McNinja figured the pair must be the princesses the guard had spoken of. One of them had an image of a moon on her flank, which Dr. McNinja deduced to mean that she was Princess Luna. By process of elimination that made the other one Princess Celestia.

Rainbow colored streams of light were flowing from the horns of each mare into the horn of the stallion standing above them. Scorch marks and gaping holes were all over the room, as if there had been a fight.

"Sparklelord," Dr. McNinja said icily. "I should have figured this was your doing."

"Dr. McNinja? What are you doing here?" The unicorn said in genuine surprise. "I wasn't expecting to ever see you again."

"And I was hoping I would never have to see you again," Dr. McNinja shot back as he drew his wakizashi. "I guess sending you back to Radical Land wasn't enough to stop you from causing mindless destruction."

"You're a horse that needs to be put down," Gordito added boldly.

Dr. McNinja felt a sudden burst of pride for his sidekick. Truly, he had come a long way in the quality of his one-liners.

"This is hardly Radical Land," Sparklelord scoffed, ignoring Gordito's comment. "Either this is another reality entirely, or time has turned it into a land that is foreign to me. But this is still a magical land with magical creatures, so I can still drain them of their magic like before."

"If you want to see a real magic trick, watch me take your sorry hide and turn it into glue." Dr. McNinja smirked beneath his mask. Gordito may be good at one-liners, but he was still the master.

"An empty threat." Sparklelord yawned. "I've already drained a great deal of magic power from these two fine looking mares, and it’s more than enough to crush you."

To prove his point, Sparklelord's horn glowed as Dr. McNinja, Gordito, and Yoshi suddenly found themselves suspended in the air by a rainbow colored glow. Out of the corner of his vision, Dr. McNinja noticed Princess Luna and Princess Celestia wearily pick themselves up and cautiously slip out of the throne room through a giant hole in the wall. At the same time, Gordito drew his revolvers and started shooting at Sparklelord.

A shimmering shield appeared around Sparklelord, which harmlessly adsorbed the bullets. His magic hold sacrificed for self-defense, Dr. McNinja and company landed on the ground again.

"Gordito! We're making a tactical withdrawal!" Dr. McNinja shouted as he charged past Sparklelord towards the large hole the alicorns had escaped through.

"We're running away?" Gordito yelled over the sound of gunshots as he continued to keep Sparklelord on the defensive with a barrage of bullets.

"That too! And we're practicing our parkour! Come on!"

Gordito kept up the suppressive fire as he urged Yoshi towards the hole to freedom. As he went through, Gordito had to stop firing to reload, which gave Sparklelord the chance to drop his shield and fire magical laser beams at the quickly escaping gunslinger. Gordito ducked as the beams flew over his head.

Sparklelord roared with fury and began to pursue, prompting the two alicorns ahead to break out into a panicked gallop as fast as they were able, which wasn't all that fast.

"Excuse me," Dr. McNinja said politely as he ran along the side of the wall over the heads of the two mares. Both of them balked slightly at the sight of the ninja doctor, but kept galloping as powerful bursts of magical lasers destroyed practically every square inch of their surroundings.

"You shoot like a storm trooper!" Dr. McNinja loudly informed Sparklelord as his feet touched the ground again without slowing.

No one else spoke as the chase continued down the hallways. Turning provided brief relief from the barrage, but for the most part ducking and weaving were required to avoid being toasted like toast. Finally a magic bolt destroyed the wall up ahead of the runners, revealing the open blue sky.

"Can I ride you?" Dr. McNinja abruptly asked Princess Celestia, a white alicorn with a shimmering mane of green, turquoise, blue, and pink. "I can't fly, you see, and I expect going out that new window is the only escape route."

Princess Celestia glanced at Dr. McNinja with wide eyes, but gave a quick nod all the same.

"Do what I'm doing, Gordito!" Dr. McNinja shouted as he backflipped onto his new ride. "We're flying out of here!"

"But what about Yoshi?!" said Gordito.

"Leave him! It's us Sparklelord is after! He'll be fine!"

Gordito hesitated for a moment before he sprang off of Yoshi's back onto Princess Luna's. Surprised by the unexpected and uninvited invasion of personal space, she stumbled on her hooves for a moment before regaining her stride.

"Go another way, Yoshi! I'll find you again!" Gordito said to his previous method of travel.

The raptor tilted his head quizzically for a moment, but then made a sharp turn down another hallway anyway. The switch was made not a moment too soon, for the very next second the two royal alicorns dove out of the surrogate window and into the wide blue sky. Time seemed to slow down as if the universe lagged in order to fully comprehend the scene. Dr. McNinja and Gordito, riding on Princess Celestia and Princess Luna respectively, escaping out of the palace as rainbow colored lasers flew all around them.

But sadly, the majestic picture was cut short as a most unfortunate situation developed.

"He took away our ability to fly!" Princess Celestia shrieked as she began to plummet.

"Thou sayeth not, omnipotent sister!" Princess Luna angrily and sarcastically shouted back at her sibling as she too began to fall.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3: Horses can't breathe through their mouths Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 36 Minutes
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