Dr. McNinja goes on an Equestrian Adventure

by Mysterious Stranger

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: A magical land with magical things and magical creatures

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"Just... be sure your hand runs along the left wall, and eventually we'll make it to the entrance," Dr. McNinja advised his mustached sidekick, Gordito. "It's science."

Gordito steered Yoshi, his loyal velociraptor, closer to the wall of the tunnel but didn't touch it. Not quite complete obedience, but not outright disobedience either. Both the ninja doctor and the gunslinging twelve year old were aware of this, but neither felt it was worth bringing up.

"So..." Gordito began in an attempt to break the awkward silence. "Your motorcycle was a unicorn huh?"

"Yep. Turned out it was a unicorn." Dr. McNinja sighed. When Cumberland's resident mafia boss, King Radical, had escaped Dr. McNinja by riding a motorcycle through the very tunnels Dr. McNinja and Gordito now walked, Dr. McNinja had seen the acquisition of his own motorcycle as the greatest stroke of luck. He hadn't known at the time that his sweet new ride was actually an evil unicorn named Sparkelord, who hailed from the same magical land as King Radical, Radical Land. Ultimately, Dr. McNinja had foiled Sparklelord's plans by tossing him through a time-space portal just a few minutes ago. Dr. McNinja knew in his heart that he had done the right thing, but the loss of such an awesome, powerful, magical, motorcycle saddened him deeply.

"Don't unicorns only approach virgins?" asked Gordito.

Dr. McNinja quickly forget about his mourning as he mentally scrambled to come up with a satisfactory answer. "Uh... well... Sparklelord was twisted," he said. "So, you know, that has to make me like totally..."

Gordito raised an eyebrow as Dr. McNinja drifted off for a moment.

"I don't like addressing mature issues in my comics," Dr. McNinja finished. "Wait, scratch that, we're not in a comic anymore."

"Your what?" asked Gordito. Unlike Dr. McNinja, Gordito couldn't see past the fourth wall at the end of an adventure, which also happened to be the start of another in this case.

Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck Dr. McNinja. "Wait a minute, I might not need Sparklelord in order to have a magical unicorn motorcycle!"

"Wait, back up, what was that about a com—"

"No time for chit chat, Gordito!" Dr. McNinja interrupted. "I have to go back to that portal and pay a visit to Radical Land!"

"You're going through the portal to Radical Land?!" asked Gordito. "Why?!"

"There might be other unicorns in Radical land besides Sparklelord!" Dr. McNinja shouted over his shoulder as he took off back down the tunnel at full ninja speed. "If I can convince a different unicorn to come back with me to our reality, I can foil whatever dastardly scheme King Radical has planned!"

Gordito considered pointing out that King Radical had done nothing but good for Cumberland, but decided against it. Clearly this was the start of yet another totally awesome adventure, and he had no intention of missing out. The boy smacked his heels against Yoshi twice, spurring the dinosaur to sprint after Dr. McNinja. After a short twisting chase through the labyrinth, Dr. McNinja reached the spherical glowing portal and stopped in front of its purple glow, allowing Gordito to catch up.

The energy from the portal caused Dr. McNinja's white lab coat and black tie to flap dramatically as he pulled out his cell phone. After flipping it open, he pressed the speed dial for his receptionist and held the device up to an ear behind his ninja mask.

"Cancel all of my appointments for today, Judy," he said. "I'm going to be busy finding a unicorn to be my new motorcycle."

Dr. McNinja paused to listen as a series of grunts emitted from the cell phone.

"Judy, we've been over this. I can't understand your words because you are a gorilla. Just cancel my appointments okay?"

"Ook," Judy replied.

"Thank you. That is all," said Dr. McNinja as he snapped his cell phone shut and slipped it back into his pant pocket. "She's such a professional," he remarked proudly. "Ready to go, Gordito?"

Gordito nodded, trying not to grin and break his image of a cool tough guy. He was excited at the prospect of starting another adventure. Dr. McNinja fiddled with the wakizashi blade strapped to his back to make sure it was secure. Once satisfied, he sprang into the portal with an "Alley oop!" Gordito tapped Yoshi again with his heels and the raptor went through as well. As they flew through a tunnel of purple energy, Gordito began to wonder if going through the portal had been a smart move.

"Have you ever jumped through a portal into another reality before?" asked Gordito.

"Nope! But it is number fourteen on my list of things to do before I die," Dr. McNinja answered.

"So you really have no idea what to expect on the other side then."

"Well, I imagine Radical Land is a magical land with magical things and magical creatures. Unicorns included, hopefully."

Gordito thought that any man who wanted to have anything to do with unicorns was weird, but didn't say so. It wasn't his place. Abruptly the tunnel of purple energy disappeared and the duo plus a raptor found themselves inside of a cave. A giant hole with rubble gathered on the ground around it was to their left, revealing the light of the midday sun from outside. Wordlessly Gordito and Dr. McNinja stepped through the opening and saw a sight that took their breath away.

They were at the top of a mountain, and from their position a country of diverse landscapes was visible. To the north lay a range of tall peaks surrounded by a frozen wasteland. To the south it was mostly desert, with a river that ran through a gorge into a large forested area at the base of the mountain. Trees and rivers were abundant everywhere else, along with a few mountains scattered here and there. Floating in the sky directly ahead was a large gathering of clouds with rainbows flowing down to the ground like waterfalls.

For a moment Gordito wondered how rainbows could flow like waterfalls, until he remembered he was now in a magical land. Presumably, it was full of magical things that science could not explain. Gordito's inner nerd secretly hoped he might see a dragon, or an ogre, or even a giant spider. Surely a land like this would give him plenty of opportunities to fulfill his geeky and violent fantasies.

"Keep your mouth open like that any longer and a bug will fly in," Dr. McNinja said. "Then you would start to choke, and then I would have to pull a Heimlich maneuver. Or worse, a poisonous bug might fly in and sting your tongue, and in order to suck out the poison I'll have to—"

"I get it, I get it," Gordito said. "But now I have a question. How will we get back home?"

"Personally, I was planning the take the portal back home."

Gordito glanced back into the cave and saw that, sure enough, the purple sphere of pure energy was still there.

"Huh. For some reason I thought the portal would disappear and strand us here, forcing us to find another way back."

"Why would you think that?"

"I dunno," Gordito said with a shrug as he glanced over the edge of the rock he stood on. "Hey, there's a city down there!"

"You just now noticed that? You need to work on your observation skills, Gordito," Dr. McNinja admonished.

Gordito didn't hear him, for he was too busy studying the city in fascination. It had tall white towers and walls with banners, spires, and flags that were gold and purple in color. The entire thing was attached to the mountainside as if on a shelf. A moderate distance away from it was a palace with an identical color scheme sitting on a island in the middle of a waterfall that flowed over the edge of the mountain down to the land below.

Then Gordito spotted something very peculiar. Dozens of what appeared to be winged horses were frantically flying around the palace. Without any warning, a loud rumble erupted from the structure as one of its towers collapsed. Gordito's eyes widened as he realized what he was witnessing

"That city is being attacked!" Gordito exclaimed. "Doc, we have to do something!"

"And do something we shall!" said Dr. McNinja as he round-house kicked an old tree nearby, causing it to snap and fall. With the agility only a ninja could pull off, he jumped on top of the severed tree as it began sliding down the rocky slope. With a grim determination, Gordito drew his revolvers and spurred Yoshi forward down the mountain at a full sprint. Neither the ninja doctor nor the gunslinging child were yet aware of what magical land they had discovered, but they certainly knew it was in need for someone to save the day.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: An escape of epic proportions Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 42 Minutes
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