I was sound asleep. Well, apparently a certain rainbow haired female didn't like it that way.

      *SPLASH*

My eyes fluttered open, the first thing I felt was the icy cold that inhabited my face. I brought my hand to my face and touched. It was wet.

      What the fuck?

I opened my eyes and saw a smug looking Rainbow Dash standing there. Water balloon in hand. She had a bucket load more by her feet.

      "What do you want?" I groaned

      "I'm hungry."

      "There's goddamn waffles in the kitchen."

I turned my back on the insane female and tried to go back to sleep. I felt a second water balloon make impact with my back. Opened my eyes and sat up. It didn't take an egghead to know I was pissed. I got up, stormed towards Rainbow and got in her face.

      "WELL WOOPDE FUCKING DOO! YOU WOKE ME UP FOR FUCKING NOTHING! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! THE GODDAMN WAFFLES ARE IN THE KITCHEN YOU DUMBFUCK! DON'T YOU SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH?!"

Rainbow Dash stared at me. She looked downright scared, her face was pale, her eyes were watery and I could sense her throat was starting to go dry.

I sighed in frustration and collapsed on my couch. I buried my face in my arms and began to take deep breaths. I began counting down from ten. I managed to calm myself down.

      "Go bathe first. I'll make us some pancakes."

She nodded and sped off for my bedroom. I remained seated on my couch. Not moving an inch. I remembered that I was awake and stood up. Not the slightest bit of happiness in me. I limped towards the kitchen. My legs were still sore after getting smashed to pieces by Dash.

I enter the kitchen and start making breakfast. I flip open the cabinets in search of some sort of cooking ingredients. I quickly gathered enough random ingredients to make our meal.

I heat up my pan and quickly stir up a small batter of pancake mix. Remembering the basic cooking skills my mum had taught me before I went on to be independent. I watch carefully as the bubbles rise to the top of the pancake and pop. I proceed to gently slide my spatula under and quickly flip it over. I decided not to try any fancy flips this morning since a burning house would be the last thing I needed.

Once it was done I scooped up the delicious little wonder and put it on a plate. Pouring more batter into the pan I was able to make a whole stack of pancakes in no time. I cut a lump of butter on the top and generously drenched it in syrup. I place the huge edible stack on the table and head off to cook another batch.

By the time I finish plating up my second batch of pancakes, I had nearly perfected the shape and timing for cooking them. I placed the two stacks on the table and headed to my bedroom to take a shower. I grabbed a black muscle shirt and a pair of jeans. I was about to enter the bathroom when I realized that Dash was still using it. Strange, no girl ever takes this long to shower.

      "You okay in there?" I asked

      "I'm fine. Now butt out! I don't need your help!" Dash yelled

I put my clothes on my bed and sat down. Taking a moment to finally replay what just happened. I hadn't been that mad since having my hair dyed. I grabbed a mirror and gazed into it. I saw a weak and feeble looking male staring back at me. He looked pretty darn wimpy. I stared at my multi-colored hair. It had to go.

I continued criticizing myself and eventually got bored. I looked at my alarm clock. It read 11:49 A.M., she had gotten in the shower around 10:30. Dash had been in the shower for almost an hour. I walked over and pounded on the door.

      "Hurry up in there! You aren't the only one who needs to shower you know."

      "I'll be out in no time! Just leave me alone!"

      "Dash what's going on?"

      "Nothing! Now will you let me shower in peace?"

I sighed and sat back down on the bed. Shortly afterwards I heard her call my name.

      "Hey Ryan?"

      "Yea?"

      "What's this thing called "soap"?"

      What the hell? What's wrong with this bitch?

      "It's something you rub on your body to make it cleaner? Duh?"

      "I knew that!"

I rolled my eyes and continued lying around. I heard her again.

      "Um, I have another question."

      "What is it now?"

      "There's these two things on my chest......"

      Lord save me.

After explaining the human body to Dash and how shampoo worked. She finally finished her shower. She seemed to be a little more subtle than usual. Not surprising considering she had just spent the last half an hour asking me about "The things on her chest".

I grabbed my clothes and went in the shower. I always hated taking showers, for some reason my hands would start to get itchy after maybe five to six minutes in water. I took a quick shower. Not even bothering to properly lather my body in soap. I stepped out the room three minutes later. Feeling slightly less shitty.

I dumped my dirty clothes into the laundry basket and went to the kitchen where Dash was devouring her stack of pancakes with gusto. I took a seat and watched her. It was kind of awkward, i had just yelled at her, she had just asked me about the you-know-what and here I was just watching her tear into my pancakes.

She finished up the last one and reached out to grab the second stack. I grabbed the plate and yanked it out of Dash's grasp. She gave me a glare. I responded with a snarl.

She had a look on her face that said: "Give me the pancakes and nobody gets hurt!". I was no different. We both glared at each other, our hunger fueling our quest for territorial dominance.

Rainbow lunged forwards and tried to get the pancakes. I pulled it out of the way just in time. She gave me a "I'll kill you" look.

      "C'mon! You already had yours!"

      "Just one more stack!"

      "No way! I'm not gonna starve 'till lunch!"

      "You'll live fatso!"

She made one more wild charge forwards and failed miserably. I seated myself and picked up my utensils. I raised them high, ready to dig in.

I was about to eat when suddenly I felt a pair of eyes gaze upon me. I turned to my left to see Rainbow Dash giving the saddest and most adorable puppy eyes I had ever seen. I felt my heart melt and tear away knowing that I had deprived the poor girl of her pancakes.

I tried to ignore it but she was starting to really bother me. Those darn puppy eyes......

      "Fine."

I slid my breakfast to her and watched as she tore into them.

      "Aggressive one moment, adorable the next."

Dash looked up from her pancakes and gave me a smile. I shook my head and got up, looking for my waffles. I located the soggy cardboard-tasting pieces of shit and proceeded to have a terrible breakfast.

I eventually finished the "waffles" and made my way to the TV. I turned it on and it flickered to life. It was tuned in to the History channel. I sat down to watch the Pawn Stars. It really was not helping that Dash was asking me questions that even I didn't know how to answer.

She eventually got bored and made her way back to my room. I sighed and continued watching. I was already feeling like shit. And it wasn't even 3 O'clock yet.

      Why me? Why me of all people? Next Chapter: Flashback Estimated time remaining: 41 Minutes