I've decided that Fridays will be the day for guest submissions, and I'm going to follow some general guidelines for "Guest Submission Friday" (Name may need changing [it kinda sucks], and I'm posting this at the beginning of each guest submission this week (and eventually somewhere else) so you all will be guaranteed to see it.);

1. So readers don't die of riff overload, I'm going to post no more than 5 guest submissions each Friday. The last thing I want is for twenty riffs to be released on one day and only two or three the following week. Consistency and all that.

2. Only one riff per riffer each Friday. This is the rule I'm most likely going to make an exception for. If I have fewer than five riffs from different authors, I'll most likely remove the limit for that week.

3. Extraordinarily long riffs that are broken into multiple parts I'm going to spread out over the course one or more weeks. These don't count towards the one riff per week limit.

4. First come first serve. I'm not going to play favorites or anything. I'm posting the guest submissions in the order I receive them excluding when I receive multiple riffs from a single person. Then I'll push those riffs to next week.

5. No riffs by me. It's "Guest Submission Friday", not "RatherHomely Posts Silly Riffs Friday".

If you have any questions or suggestions about this, feel free to contact me.

We now return you to your featured Guest Submission.

The Lottery is... Odd. And apparently based on a short story the writer read. I'm not too clear on the point the writer was trying to make, but I'm sure it's absolutely brilliant and transcendent. And I can't find a link to the actual story. And enjoy Storiesatrandom riffing the hell out of it. RatherHomely, out!

Hello, I’m Storiesatrandom, I remember it, so you don’t have too. We all know what a happy, happy, sappy place the canon show of My Little Pony is. And why not? It was intended to be a show for little girls, hence the fact that it’s morals are about friendship, love and tolerance. However, because the fact one of the people working on the show was Lauran Frost, the wife of the guy who created the powerpuff girls, and that the show has somewhat untraditional trades of that of a girl show, like say, the fact it started off with the main characters going against  a world destroying madwoman! Also, the animation itself is incredible, especially when compared to the generations of old, you know back when the my little pony franchise was actselly hated! But then G4 of the series showed up, and thus, the bronies came to existence. And as usual of fans of any series, they make fan art, fan videos, and fan fics of them! However, even something as innocent as a bunch of multicolored horses can have…..

A DARK SIDE!

If you been around the internet, then you know what I mean! Apparently, there are those that think the canon show is alittle too happy-wappy for their tastes, so, what do they do? They go “Twilight Zone” on it! And by that, I mean, they give a dark edge. Famous examples would be the notorious gorefics like “Cupcakes” or the “Rainbow Factory”, but, to state out what most critics say, a good dark story or horror story doesn’t always need someone being violently ripped apart! Sometimes, just have the world turn into nothing like the canon show! Simply, make it, morally unpleasant. You know, dark side stuff. Like a character going through a strong depression of a relative or a friend’s death, or any other form of depression-ness! My point is, a dark story doesn’t ALWAYS mean someone’s gonna be ripped to shreds! So, exactly what I am trying to get across? Plain and simple, today I am gonna riff “The Lottery.” This story is a fine example of a story being dark with the absence of it’s over-used companions, “Blood” and “Gore”. The story and plot is dark, the characters involved are made dark, it’s darker then Nightmare Moon’s skin color! In fact, this story is so dark, that if it falls into the hands of a newbie Brony, it would scar them for life! Even I would never look at this show again! Well, I am here to give a cure not only for myself, but to those scarred by this too dark for it’s own good story, and hopefully, preserve the new generation of bronies.

So, with no farther yapping from me, let’s prepare our lotto tickets for, “The Lottery”, and no, I don’t mean the lottery of our world, I was just trying to be funny.

Storiesatrandom: “This is gonna be a tough one, this story is more dark then those two gorefics we ripped apart sometime ago! This one doesn’t have gore, and yet it’s pretty damn dark!”

Twilight: “Why did you talked me into this?”

Celestia: “Because it’s a story that features you the most.”

Storiesatrandom: “If anyone gets too creeped out by it’s darkness, please remember that bathrooms are by the exits!”

(BUZZ)

Storiesatrandom: “WAIT! WE’RE NOT READY YET!

“Oh wow! It’s time again. It’s time again!” A pink pony cheered as she hopped down the street.

Celestia: “Doesn’t seem dark to me, just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

Storiesatrandom: “Trust me; this is one of those fic that ease you into the dark stuff first! Lull you in a false sense of security before shit gets real!”

“We know Pinkie, we know.” Her rainbow mane companion spoke groggily. “You’ve only been telling us that for the past hour.”

Twilight: “I told Rainbow Dash not to drink that hard cider!”

“Oh Dashie, how can’t you be more excited! I already have an entire party planned for afterwards! There’s going to be cake and games and punch and streamers and balloons and confetti and cookies and enough cupcakes to last an entire week!”

Storiesatrandom: “Jesus, she must be exhausted!”

Twilight: “You don’t know Pinkie Pie well, do you?”

The mares stopped momentarily as a large crowd of ponies past in front of them.

All: “STAMPEDE!”

Each of them giggling and laughing to one another, no doubt in the same excitement that Pinkie Pie found herself completely wrapped within.

Storiesatrandom: ‘Oh my god, the pinkie virus has hit Equestia!”

“Ah’ reckon she just means we’re all excited too, ain’t that right gals?” An orange pony spoke to her ecstatic pink friend, the cowboy hat atop her mane keeping the cowpony comfortably shaded from the high noon’s sun.

Storiesatrandom: “Who the hell is “High Noon”? I thought Celestia and Luna ruled Equestia!”

“Oh of course darling, this is quite the special event.” A white-coated unicorn agreed. “Why my little Sweetie Bell simply wouldn’t rest last night. I had an easier time tucking her in on Hearth Warming’s Eve for goodness sake.”

All: “Aw kids, what are you gonna do?”

The crowd had passed them and the six friends continued their trot towards Town Square.

Storiesatrandom: “Whatever is going on must be quite an endeavor!”

“Ah’ now watch ya’ mean, Rare’.

Twilight: “Applejack, you forgot to add the “K” in “Know”.”

Lil’ Apple Bloom made quite the fuss last night too.” Applejack chuckled in light laughter at the memory.

Storiesatrandom: “Hey, kids will kids.”

“Oh, but I slept quite well.” A cautious pegasus spoke form the back of the group, her pink mane hiding majority of her face. “I mean, I hope you all did too.”

Twilight: “Fluttershy as innocent as ever.”

Storiesatrandom: “Trust me, that’ll go away in a second the minute we reach the later parts of the story.”

“Honestly, I was too nervous to sleep.” A lavender unicorn spoke next to her skittish friend. “This is my first time I’ve been eligible for this sort of thing in Ponyville, and I was voted already. I-I studied everything I could last night, but this was so sudden.”

Twilight: “I have a weakness on short notice things.”

“Oh, it’s alright Twilight.” Fluttershy spoke kindly to her. “I’m sure you’ll do great, really, honest.”

Storiesatrandom: “Not once had I thought Fluttershy would be a misleader.”

“Yeah! You always do such a super duper job Twilight, I wouldn’t be surprised if they let you win just because your you!”

Twilight: “Well THAT wouldn’t be fair for the other contestants.”

Storiesatrandom: “Trust me, you’ll take it back when we reach the darkness of this fic.”

The excited bouncing of Pinkie Pie was not as contagious Twilight would have liked it to be. Now would have been a great time to have some of that enthusiasm.

Storiesatrandom: “Would it be in bad taste if you were looking forward to…. No, not gonna spoil it THIS time!”

“Yes dear, you’ll do fine, but you simply must relax,” Rarity spoke to her fellow unicorn. “There’s little for you to worry about, all you have to do is smile, act as pretty as you look, and make sure the ponies cheer for you. Simple as that.”

Celestia: “So far, I am not convinced this is even a dark fic to begin with, but because of Storieatrandom’s forewarning, I won’t count my chickens before they hatch.”

“I know,” Twilight muttered more than responded. “But I mean, my first time eligible and I get picked? The chances are just astronomical!”

Storiesatrandom: “So space had something to do with it?”

“Not really, I mean, most ponies just put down names of ponies they know.” Pinkie explained to the unicorn, hopping backwards. “I’m probably the only pony who put down Cranky’s name and that’s because he spends all his time with Matilda. You’re practically a celebrity, so it makes since that everypony would write down your name!”

Storiesatrandom: “It’s always the famous ones getting the fucking worse of it.”

“I guess you’re right, but still…” She let her voice wander as her group of friends continued to trot, minus their cyan coated friend hovering above them.

Twilight: “Since when is Rainbow Dash a balloon?”

Storiesatrandom: “Or a freaken hover craft for that matter!”

“The Lottery is such a big tradition for Ponyville, shouldn’t they vote for… well… ponies who have been here longer?”

Storiesatrandom: “Makes sense, Twilight hasn’t even been around THAT long, and yet they pick her for being famous?”

The group had just entered the large opening that was Town Square, bustling with the activity of excited mares, stallions, fillies, colts, and even foals.

Storiesatrandom: “Momma Mia, all horse words in one stinking sentence.”

Everypony who wasn’t gathering around in anticipation of the event was either helping with the last minute decorations or finding a good place to view.

Celestia: “Or had the Cutie Pox.”

A wooden stage was constructed just before Town Hall, adorned with the familiar Equestrian symbols and flags.

Storiesatrandom: “I suppose we’re supposed to already know what they are since OBVIOUSLY only veteran fans of the show would read this, and not recent newbies.”

Mayor Mare stood at the podium, testing the microphone system with a tap of her hoof. Despite the authoritative figure’s posture, it was clear she was just as eager for the event as any other pony in the crowd.

Storiesatrandom: “Polotishions everyone.”

Twilight let her eyes scan to see any familiar faces. Looking for something to relax her nerves.

Celestia: “Have you tried taking them to the spa?”

“Look! There’s Lyra!”

Storiesatrandom: “Guest staring: Lyra! Everyone’s favorite human obsessed lesbian!”

Pink cheered with an outstretched hoof. Five sets of eyes followed the pink appendage to see the familiar mint green unicorn. Her mare friend Bon Bon

Storiesatrandom: “Told ya she was a lesbian.”

Twilight: “Wow, I thought Bon-bon and Lyra are just friends.”

was just by her side, rubbing her head against the other mare in an eager, yet proud manner.

Storiesatrandom: “When we get to the dark moment that would actselly be pretty off-putting.”

Lyra had a foreleg around the other mare, laughing outside of the six’s ear shot. Twilight couldn’t tell if she was genuinely happy, or just as nervous as the lavender unicorn was.

Storiesatrandom: “Or just as horrified as she was.”

“Heard she got voted up too.” Applejack spoke to the group. “Just about bounced of the walls harder than Pinkie Pie when she got the news.”

Storiesatrandom: “Before I saw the dark moment, I thought it was of joy… after the dark moment… I just don’t think so anymore.”

“Oh, yes, of course. She’s, um, been having trouble with money issues lately.” Fluttershy gently explained to her friends. Above the noise of shuffling ponies around them, she was just barely hearable. “I-I’m sure she and Bon Bon would be thrilled if she won.”

Storiesatrandom: “You will be amazed how misleading this crazy fic is!”

“Oh, and the lovely doctor is just over there.” Rarity pointed, before hastily redrawing her hoof, muttering about the impoliteness of pointing.

Celestia: “Then how are they supposed to know what you were pointing at?”

“O-Oh, you mean Dr. Hooves.”

Storiesatrandom: “Also Guest staring: Doctor Hooves, everyone’s favorite accused rip-off of Doctor Who.”

Fluttershy weakly spoke, a blush upon her canary cheeks.

Storiesatrandom: “When was Fluttershy a mutant? I mean, there are birds fused in her cheeks!”

“Lucky stud got voted on, same as Twi’ and Lyra. About time if you ask me.” Dash muttered as she hovered over her group of friends.

Storiesatrandom: “That also would also be considered a dark moment after viewing the dark part.”

And there was the doctor, wearing what appeared to be a freshly pressed bowtie and well combed mane. Unlike Lyra, and definitely unlike Twilight, Dr. Hooves looked the very image of calm and controlled. Ditzy Doo eagerly trotted around the tan earth pony, looking as happy as she was with a fresh batch of muffins

.

Storiesatrandom: “Didn’t she used to be Derpy Hooves?”

Twilight: “Remember the “Derpy” incident?”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh…..”

“Business has been slow for him lately, or so I hear.” Rarity answered the unspoken question. “Ms. Doo was actually paying most of the bills with her modest mail earnings.”

Storiesatrandom: “Who know being in the postal service pays so well?”

“How terrible.” Twilight agreed with her fellow unicorn. “That must be tough on Dinky.” She let the sentence spill from her lips as she thought of the filly unicorn, adoring her mother and surrogate father.

Storiesatrandom: “Well THAT discourages my idea for “Derpy’s little Dinky Hooves” abit. I mean, there, I made her into a filly-fooler and have her true love be Carrot Top, the female pony.”

“I’m glad he got in and all, but I just wanna see a pegasus. I mean, c’mon! We have an earth pony and two unicorns, why can’t there be a pegasus up there.”

“But, um, Rainbow?” Fluttershy meekly interjected.

“Yeah?”

“Thunderlane was also voted in.”

That shut the mare right up.

All: “WAMP, WAMP, WAA!”

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot about him. Silly me, guess I’ll just have to throw him a party to make up for it.” Pinkie agreed with a hoof to the back of her puffy mane. “But I think he needs it. I mean really needs it.”

Storiesatrandom: “Another moment soon to be made dark by the dark part soon enough.”

“Why, what happened?” Twilight honestly had no idea why Pinkie would intentionally pick a favorite out of the constants, above her no less.

Twilight: “Yeah, why would she, the pink idiot!”

Twilight gets hit by a pie!

Twilight: “PINK-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!”

“Oh, I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

All: “Yeah what?”

“You really don’t know?”

All: “What do you think, dumbass?”

“Pinkie…” Twilight spoke lowly, warning the bouncing earthy pony.

“Sorry, but… I actually don’t like to talk about it.” That earned a few concerned looks from her fellow mares.

“Oh, um, well…” Fluttershy began to mumble to herself.

All: “We’re waiting!”

“Girls, what’s wrong with him?”

Storiesatrandom: “Lazy.”

Twilight: “Imcomident.”

Celestia: “Gay.”

“H-He lost his parents, um… recently.”

All: “HOLY SHIT!”

Storiesatrandom: “And that’s just the minor league dark moment, trust me, the worse is yet to come.”

The pegasus meekly uttered before hiding herself beneath her long mane.

“Oh, oh my.” For just that moment, Twilight mistook the white unicorn for her skittish friend. “But… doesn’t he have a little brother?”

All: “WHAT?!”

“Yeah, he does.”

All: “WHAT?!?!”

Pinkie answered back, far more somberly than any of her friends were used to, or even comfortable with.

Storiesatrandom: “They know this because her poofy hair deflated like a balloon!”

“Little Rumble has been coming by the bakery more often, usually asking for free samples. Mr. and Mrs. Pie look the other way when he asks me.”

All: “RUMBLE?!”

………………..

Storiesatrandom: “Nope, don’t see the resemblance.”

“That… that really bites. How come I didn’t hear anything about this?”

All: “EVEN WE DIDN’T KNOW!”

“Not the kind a thing you wanna talk abou’.”

Twilight: “I know Applejack is infamous with bad grammar, but, you’re missing the “T”, Applejackass!”

Applejack muttered as she kicked a hoof in the dirt. “Seein’ as most ponies barely even know ‘em, it’s a kind of a blessin’ he got voted up, though I’m sure glad he did.”

Storiesatrandom: “Yet another-”

Celestia and Twilight: “OK, WE GET IT!”

“Where is the poor dear any how?”

“Probably trying to calm his little brother down.”

Celestia: “Say “Yet another dark moment soon to be made a dark moment by the darker moment” and we’ll smack you.”

Storiesatrandom: “….. ok, uh….. Moving on.”

“I-Is this really okay?” The friends shifted their focus back on Twilight.

“What do ya mean, suga’cube?” Applejack asked with a concerned look to her lavender friend.

Said unicorn shuffled across her hooves nervously. Her gaze was focused more on her jittering nerves and restless legs than any of her friends.

Storiesatrandom: “Doubtful heroine alert!”

“I mean everypony else needs to win this Lottery so badly, is it really okay for me to be up there? I’m a student under Princess Celestia, both of my parents are from Canterlot, I’m known as the Element of Magic, and I even have a brother as captain of the Royal Guard. What if I win? I wouldn’t need any of the prize money or fame.”

Celestia: “Good observation, what’s the point of entering a lottery if your tecnecly already rich and famous?”

Twilight let her head hang between her forelegs in what could almost be called shame.

Storiesatrandom: “Or be bodily confusing.”

“Geez Twi’, it almost sounds like you want to get out of this.” Dash spoke down to the unicorn. Her response was instant.

All: “YES!”

“NO!”

All: “D’OH!”

Her shout earned the attention of more than just her friends. “Just… no, I wouldn’t want to disrupt tradition. Princess Celestia said that this has been happening for longer than she’s been ruling Equestria!

Storiesatrandom: “You mean this came from the dawn of time?”

There’s no way I’d let myself disappoint her.”

“I am glad to hear that Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight: “Somehow, I’ll regret that sooner or later.”

The mares whirled in the streets

Storiesatrandom: “Now they’re hurricanes?”

to see their ruler standing high above them. Her main flowed in unseen winds and coated shined like the brilliant sun.

Celestia: “Funny, thought I was white.”

“Princess Celestia!” The mares all fell to their fore knees

Twilight: “Damn floor!”

in the presence of the ruler. The alabaster Alicorn

Celestia: “WHITE Alicorn.”

smiled down at her subjects with all the love a mother does her filly.

Storiesatrandom: “That’s gonna be a poor choice of words soon enough.”

“Please stand, there’s no reason for that now. I am here simply as an observer, as always. And my faithful student,” the princess of the sun began as she knelt her head down to the rising unicorn. “I am thrilled to see you elected for a chance to win The Lottery. It is a great honor, as I am sure you know.”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh boy, the one very strong nip-pick I have for this! I’ll save this for my bitch later folder, trust me, I’ll put it to good use.”

“O-Of course Princess.” Twilight stammered with a blush to her mentor. “Every pony who’s ever won has their name inscribed in Town Hall. It’s a grand honor that’s reserved for only those ponies who have both popularity and luck on their side. O-On top of that, the pony’s family tends to be held in high regard afterwards as well.”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh sure, the fabricated version!”

“Well done,” Celestia praised as her studious pupil finished. “Now, why was the Lottery first used?”

Twilight didn’t miss a beat.

“Before you or Princess Luna came into power, the poverty around Equestria was terrible. So it was agreed that the citizens of each town would donate a small portion of their earnings for an annual lottery. The town ponies would then vote for the four most deserving ponies. A winner would then be chosen at random from a lottery draw between the four. It was proven to boost moral, control economic funds, and encourage societal connections of pony kind. Such connections eventually led to the economic boom that we still find ourselves within.”

Storiesatrandom: “More fabricated bullshit.”

“Very good, my faithful student.” Celestia congratulated with a small hug from her long neck. “You are truly diligent with your studies. Many unicorns at the academy could learn well from you.” Twilight felt herself blush hotly under her mentor’s praise.

Celestia: “Still not dark worthy. And yes, I am aware it’s just not here yet, but admitingly, this “Dark part” is surely taking it’s sweet time, isn’t it?”

“Oh, Princess Celestia, I had a question for you.” Rainbow Dash spoke, landing on the ground just beside her lavender coated friend. “Is it true their cancelling the Lottery in other towns? I heard you guys stopped it a couple of years ago in Canterlot.”

Storiesatrandom: “That’s actselly a small hint that “The lottery” is not what it may seem.”

The monarch gave a deep sigh at the pegasus’s question. Even Twilight couldn’t tell if it was from stress or disappointment.

Storiesatrandom: “Celestia? Stressed? Such hogwash!”

“Regrettably, they have Rainbow Dash. The nobles feel as if they no longer have a need for the Lottery anymore. They are correct that nearly every family in Canterlot is being sustained well, and that was their largest argument for cancelling the Lottery. ‘No need to go through such an ancient and common practice if no pony benefits from it’”

Storiesatrandom: “Another hint that the tradition is not as adbertastised!”

Celestia quoted from the lips of what was doubtlessly some stuck up rich unicorn.

“The blowhards,” Rarity muttered more to herself than her majesty. “I’d wager my boutique it was to simply horde their funds.”

Storiesatrandom: “Or because they are SANE!”

“Gotta say yer highness, that just sounds like all kinds of wrong.” Applejack spoke in reply.

Storiesatrandom: “YOUR ALL KINDS OF WRONG!”

“Oh and I agree young Applejack, but I wish to be a ruler, not a tyrant.

Storiesatrandom: “I’ll bitch about “Celestia’s involvement” later as previously abdertastised!”

If the ponies cannot see the benefits of such events, I cannot force them too in good conscious. But that is enough of that.” Celestia spoke as she raised her head high, a brilliant smile once again adorning her muzzle.

Storiesatrandom: “Muzzle? What the hell is she, a dog?”

“Now, I am sure I’ll see you all very soon. And Twilight, I wish you luck.” With that, the princess walked past the group of friends, Royal Guards following just behind.

“See ya later Princess!” Dash cheered at their ruler’s vanishing form

Celestia: “Well, frankly I’m transparent now.”

“C’mon guys, we gotta hurry. Can’t let Twilight show up late, that would make her the wrong kind of crazy.”

Storiesatrandom: “They wouldn’t know crazy if it bit them in the ass!”

The snickering of two ponies was clear and identifiable among the mares.

Said unicorn let out a controlled sigh at her flying friend’s antics. She was far more than used to the small quips her pegasi friend would throw her way from time to time, just as much as she was used to Rarity giving her beauty tips in the midst of an exercise session.

“Well, it would be two kinds of wrong ta’ make the star of the hour late, huh?”

Storiesatrandom: “That’s actselly more right then they SHOULD’VE realized!”

“Yeah! They’re going start soon. Oh my gosh, we might not get a good spot! We wouldn’t be able to cheer for Twilight then!” Before a pony could mutter a word otherwise, their pink-coated friend was gone.

All: “ALIENS!”

“And there she goes.” Rainbow spoke with a salute of her hoof. A collective chuckle was released from the group. Even when she was leaving, Pinkie Pie always knew how to leave her friends with a smile.

Storiesatrandom: “We won’t be smiling in a few minutes.”

“Well come on darling,” Rarity motioned with head. “They can’t very well start without yo-WOAH!

Twilight (mimicking Rarity): “I JUST REALISE THAT THIS EVENT IS NOT EHICAL!”

The white unicorn found herself on the ground with a mouthful of dirt…

All: “BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

… Her younger sister and friends just by fallen form.

“Oops, sorry Rarity.” A white filly with duel colored mane offered. She had a hoof behind her head and a cart on her torso. Said cart had a load of apples in, numbering well into 3 or 4 dozen.

Celestia and Twilight: “Let us guess, ANOTHER moment soon to be made dark by the dark part?”

Storiesatrandom: “To quite Big Mac: Yup.”

“Same here.” Her bow wearing friend offered, the same cart of apples behind her.

“Girls!” The cowpony spoke to the fillies, authority clear in her voice. “Just what the hay are ya thinkin’ of doin’ with those apples?”

Twilight: “You mean other that they’ll play a part in a dark story?”

“They’re for the Lottery celebration!” An orange-coated pegasus spoke up for her friends, the only one among them without offering a hoof to push the cart. “We thought we could hand them out, you know, like party favors.”

“I think I’m actually glad Pinkie wasn’t here to hear that.”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh, we know how she HATES being outdone by little fillies! The mindless gorefic “Blue Frosting” proved it!”

“Besides the point!” Rarity had since made her back to her hooves, standing tall above her sister with a glare only the fillies could truly understand.

“Sweetie Bell.” Her sister cowered slightly into her mane. “Apple Bloom.” The young filly pulled her bow taunt over her eyes. “And Scootaloo.” The last of the trio lowered herself to all four knees, hoping to avoid the elder unicorn’s gaze as much as possible. “Did you even properly ask for those apples?”

Storiesatrandom (Mimicking Applebloom): “its ok, the arthur said we can do it.”

“Well…” Sweetie Bell began, putting one hoof behind the other. “Apple Bloom said it would be okay.”

“Hey! It was Scootaloo’s idea!”

“Nu uh! It was Sweetie’s!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

Storiesatrandom: “Na-huh!”

Twilight: “Ya-huh!”

Storiesatrandom: “Na-huh!”

Twilight: “Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-Ya-huh!”

Storiesatrandom and Twilight repeated saying Na-huh and Ya-huh. Celestia levitates them both, and bong them both on each other’s heads!

Both: “OW!”

“GIRLS!” Twilight’s shout once more drew the collective stare of more than just the ponies she was addressing. The rest of the Elements of Harmony watched nervously as the violet magic of their friend’s horn slowly began to die down.

Storiesatrandom: “Would’ve been cool if it was that “Flaming Twilight” thing again. That’d be awesome.”

“Never thought I’d need that voice enhancing spell so soon.” She muttered to herself. “Now, why do you want to hand out those apples in the first place?”

Storiesatrandom (mimicking Applebloom): “Cause we’re desperate for cash!”

“Cause no pony else hands out anythin’ for the Lottery, so we thought we could be the first.” Apple Bloom began. Sweetie Bell followed close behind.

Twilight: “Sweetie was always more of a follower then a leader.”

“Yeah, and then we can get our-” The three fillies huddled together as they cheered as one.

“Lottery Helping Cutie Marks!”

Storiesatrandom: “This is a build-up for the ONE thing I find funny in this fic! Trust me, it’ll be wroth it!”

The mares all smiled kindly down at the young ponies. So blissfully ignorant to their own talents that they spent every moment together trying to earn their place in society.

Storiesatrandom: “Now, this is so concerning of me about this, I mean, are equestrians really anti-blank flank-tights?”

Twilight: “ALCOURSE NOT! In fact, we tolerate them like they were loved ones! In fact, Celestia has also a trust-fund to help give Blank Flanks jobs! Also, it’s also a matter of opinion, and it means your destiny is not predetermined; you’ll be open to grand possibilies. I promise there is NO presjugeses in Equestia!”

But not one of the Elements spoke a word of explanation. They had all tried once before to show the fillies how impossible what they were trying to do was, but all with the same result.

Twilight: “Yeah, the Crusaders are not REALLY good listeners.”

“Aw alright.” Applejack relented under the fillies’ excitement. “Just make sure ta wait handing those out until they make the draw. Don’t need confusing anypony about us given’ out free produce, ya hear?”

Storiesatrandom: “Has Applejack spent time with Mr. Krabs?”

“Of course, sis!” Apple Bloom cheered under her sister’s approval. “We’ll be super careful, promise.”

Storiesatrandom (mimicking Applebloom): “It won’t be like the time we agreed to star in “Blue Frosting”.”

“Well, we’ll see you guys soon then.” Rainbow Dash spoke enthusiastically to the three pre-mares.

Storiesatrandom: “Don’t tell me, it’s the equestrian word for Pre-teens? Actselly, it’s sounds like a good name for a good pre-teen pony story. I hope someone actselly thoughts up of that.”

“Make sure you keep a whole pile of apples for us!”

Storiesatrandom: “Add another soon to be dark moment.”

“Will do Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo was gone in a flash

.

Twilight: “DARN ALIENS! THEY KEEP KIDNAPPING FOALS!”

“Hey! Wait for us!” Sweetie Bell called after her friend, cart of apples behind her slowing her and Apple Bloom down.

Celestia: “Is that cart really impourent for another cutiemark attempt?”

Storiesatrandom: “Kids just being kids.”

“Ah’ swear those three are gonna be the end me one day.” Applejack muttered with a shaking head.

Storiesatrandom: “Sounds like a gorefic no one thought up yet! the Crusaders turned into murderers. They found cutie

marks in killing and slaughtering ponies!”

Celestia: “There are no such marks!”

Storiesatrandom: “That we’re currently aware of. The cutie mark system is not properly explained as to what kind exists. Yes,

it’s mostly NICE ones, but there is yet to be revelment of evil cutie marks. Come on, even you have to admit nether you or

Luna understand it very well.”

Celestia thinks about it.

Celestia: “Twilight, think you could do a study on Cutiemarks and if “bad Cutiemarks” could exist?”

Twilight: “I do it as soon as we get out of this dumb-fest.”

“Agreed, but hopefully not before the end of the day.” Rarity offered to the tired earth pony. Her friend only smiled back politely.

Storiesatrandom: “Big sisters are there for each other.”

“Oh, um, I think they’re starting soon.” Fluttershy’s quite interjection earned the twist of a few heads.

Storiesatrandom: “Gee, I thought the SHED.MOV Fluttershy wouldn’t be in this!”

The mares watched as the other identified ponies began their trot towards the center stage, each giving their last cheerful looks towards their significant others. Dr. Hooves nuzzled Ditzy just behind her mane, a kind hoof over her back. Lyra did the same, but with a small tickle across Bon Bon’s stomach, making the mare squeal in near foolish delight.

Twilight (pretending to be Bon-Bon): “Stop Lyra! Not in public!”

“There’s Thunderlane!” Dash cheered from above her friends, holding the best view among them.

Storiesatrandom: “I know this was alittle late, but…. Final Guest star: Thunderlane, that one-shot character that just there to end up being useless!”

Sure enough, the dark coated pegasus made his way on stage. He looked… tired. Not controlled, calm, or even confidant, just barren of the usual energy pegasi possessed.

Storiesatrandom: “As long he isn’t the next victim of “Rocket to Insanity”, I’ll be ok with this.”

Twilight didn’t want to imagine the reasons behind his clearly exhausted form. Her imagination was too active and too capable to let it wander into areas reserved for mourning.

Twilight: “If only she was aware of the truth.”

“Well c’mon suga’cube.”

Storiesatrandom: “Applejack’s black now?”

Applejack spoke with a slight push behind the lavender mare. “Can’t have them thinkin’ you ditched ‘em.”

Celestia: “That’s actselly a good idea, when one comes to think of it.”

“Yeah, Twily, you better hurry.” That voice didn’t belong to any kind of mare.

Storiesatrandom: “Oh no, only one Character has called her that.”

Twilight whipped her head around to see none other than her beloved BBBFF, Shining Armor.

Twilight: “NOT YOU TOO, BEST BIG BROTHER FRIEND FOREVER!”

Storiesatrandom: “Celestia, just in case, you might have to be ready to comfort her incase it’s gonna be too much.”

“Shining!” She cheered with a jump towards her elder sibling. “What are you doing here?”

Twilight: “GET OUT OF HERE; THERE ARE SEXUAL ATTACK QUEEN CHRYSALIS FICS BETTER THEN THIS!”

“What do you mean?” The white stallion asked, giving a playful pat to his younger sister. “My favorite little sister just got voted up to be in the Lottery, and you think it’s weird that her favorite older brother is here to cheer for her?”

Storiesatrandom: “Actselly, it’s more SYMBALIC!”

“N-No, I didn’t mean it like.” The lavender unicorn began to stumble over her words.

Storiesatrandom: “Writing tip: if you want your sentences look like they were interrupted, use “-”, or what is called, the flouting line, perfect to make it look it one has been interrupted. Without it, it’ll just look like they were done speaking.”

It only brought another laugh to older of the two.

“Relax Twily, I’m just here for you, kay?”

Storiesatrandom: “BULLSHIT!”

“Alright.” She agreed much like her meek friend.

Storiesatrandom: "It means Fluttershy, right? Unless there’s another friend Twilight wasn’t being honest about!”

“I truly do hate to intrude,” Rarity began to the pair of siblings, “But our dear Twilight is due on stage soon, and I think we’d all hate to see her worry over being tardy.”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh, can we please delay this?”

“Et tu, Rarity?” The lavender unicorn jokingly spoke to her fashion centric friend.

Storiesatrandom: “No dark fic will be complete without the famous last words spoken by Caesar.”

The joke flew clear over the heads of Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who only looked around awkwardly at the small smiles and giggles that came from Twilight’s gibberish words.

Storiesatrandom: “I take it there never was Roman times in Equestia’s history.”

Celestia: “Ah, I see you speak of the “Ro-Pony” empire.”

Storiesatrandom: “Alcourse you would know cause you’re an immortal. You just heard of them, right?”

Celestia: “Actselly, it was still during Luna’s banishment, and, well, I got involved as a gladiator.”

Twilight: “(Gasp), your not serious, are you?!”

Storiesatrandom: “Actselly, that sounds like a PERFECT fic idea for me! Celestia, involved in the Ro-pony times as a gladiator, it’s perfect!”

Celestia and Twilight: “Oh, brother.”

“Alright, don’t want to set a bad example in front of the princess.” Shining released his sister’s form, letting the both return to their four legs.

Storiesatrandom: “Trust me, in a few minutes even she is gonna be a bad example. Still holding on to that in my bitch later folder.”

“I wish you luck sis. Do mom and dad proud.” And with that, he was gone, lost into the crowd of ponies around him.

Storiesatrandom: “He was later dead in the sea of background ponies, and a funeral was held without a body.”

“Well c’mon!” Dash gave Twilight a push with her wings. “You’ve had more distractions in the last ten minutes than I do in a day!”

Storiesatrandom (sarcastically): “Oh, when is Rainbow Dash distracted?”

Twilight: “Well, in the episode where Tank first appeared-”

Storiesatrandom: “I was speaking in sarcastsum.”

“I’m moving Dash. I’m moving!” Twilight irritably spoke to her pegasus friend. Said cyan mare released her with a cheeky grin.

Storiesatrandom: “And the molrats, halt grave!”

The lavender mare only gave a sigh before continuing through the crowd of ponies.

Twilight: “She was determined to save her brother she knew is still alive in the sea of un-named ponies unlike those to said he-”

Storiesatrandom: “Jesus Crest, your worse then Rainbow Dash when she was adding something not in the story even though it DOESN’T CHANGE A THING!”

She felt more than one of the ponies bump into her side as she made her way towards the stage.

Storiesatrandom: “DO A BARROL ROLL!”

Fillies and colts were standing on the backs of their parents, near falling off as they jumped with excitement in place.

Storiesatrandom: “I don’t think real horses work like that.”

Twilight: “What do you mean real?”

Storiesatrandom: “It’s, complicated.”

She heard more than one mother gently scold their child to remain still, but it appeared that the father’s were far more understanding.

Twilight: “Normally, it’s the other way around in most relationships.”

Twilight paused mid trot

Celestia: “So there’s a high trot or low trot?”

more than once to allow a couple of foals to run in front of her, eagerly looking for one another amidst the columns of pony leg’s to hide within.

Celestia: "Don’t remember adding columns that are shaped like pony legs in Ponyville before.”

After a fair amount of time, the lavender unicorn found herself just before the steps to the wooden platform.

Storiesatrandom: “Voices were telling her no, but the plot wouldn’t allow it!”

Now there were no ponies in her way, nothing stopping her from walking up the steps and taking her place besides Thunderlane, Lyra, and Dr. Hooves.

Twilight: “Hey guys, I kinda would like to pass?”

But her nerves still kept her from ascending the steps.

Storiesatrandom: “She felt bizarre feelings that something is bound to go wrong!”

Was this really alright? Every pony on the stage had a reason for being up there, a reason beyond being just well known. If she did win… what would that mean for them? What would that mean for her? Would she be seen as a selfish mare, taking money from those who needed it more than she did? No family member of her was in desperate need of income, and even less for fame or honorary positions.

Storiesatrandom: “We already established how oxy moron it is to place a someone who already has it made in life in a lottery. NEXT!”

She bit her lower lip

Twilight: “OW!”

as the questions continued to plague her mind, answers eluding her more so than almost any time in the past.

Storiesatrandom: “Well, that’s the one thing canonly correct about this fic! Twilight being morally conflicted. Celestia raised her to be a good pony, and as such, is always in fear of being in the bad opinion of others. The fact she went insane once or twice proves it.”

Every bone in Twilight’s body told her it was a bad idea, but just as many cells in her mind told her standing on that platform was the greatest idea in the world.

Twilight: “I hate my brain.”

She could play sick; give herself a quick case of indigestion. No pony would blame her if she had a quick sporadic loss of stomach control.

Storiesatrandom: “Good idea, fake getting sick! Making yourself vomit is sure fire! Just touch your uvula with your hoof, and bingo, puke city!”

But that would insult her princess, and very likely spit on the tradition the town was so proud to uphold.

Storiesatrandom: “Fuck you Tradition!”

She couldn’t do that, it could very well end all of the friend ships she had spent so long building.

Storiesatrandom: “Sometimes, if your life is in stake, friendships are not worth keeping!”

Celestia lefts Storiesatrandom up and spanks him on the ass a couple of times.

Storiesatrandom: “I OW, take it OW, back! AH-HA-HA OW!”

A little case of the nerves wasn’t worth losing all that.

With a deep breath, Twilight trotted herself on stage.

Twilight: “Consider my fate sealed.”

The crowd was enormous.

Storiesatrandom: “But not as big as the crowds from the “Hearth’s warming day” play.”

She really had yet to do any proper research on the population of the small town.

Twilight: “That’s not as true as this fic makes you think. I mean, yes, I am still doing guess work, but I estimated that the population is close to 99+ ponies, give or take.”

She was so used to the rather small population density that she had never considered an event that would cause all of the residents to gather in space.

Storiesatrandom: “PONIES IN SPACE!”

Even if it had happened in the past, she was not given the full view, let alone all of their collective attention. The nerves returned to her hooves with a vengeance.

Storiesatrandom (pretending to be Twilight’s nerves): “REVENGE!”

“Mares and Colts!” Mayor Mare began into the mike, hushing the excited jibber jabber of the ponies before her. “Just besides me are the four lucky ponies we have voted to be eligible to win the Lottery!”

Twilight (mimicking the Mayor): “A tradition that in no way, that would ruin my following re-election if anypony should realize that it’s a-”

Storiesatrandom: ‘Hey, no spoilers!”

A cheer broke out over the crowd, looking more like a rippling multicolored wave than a collection of ponies.

Celestia: “Oh dear, the ocean’s filthy; I need to make the Sea Horse King aware of this.”

Twilight’s eyes scanned every face she could find, hoping find a familiar set of features to focus on.

The most obvious was Princess Celestia, standing far taller than any other pony in the crowd.

All: “WELL DUH!”

She had the regal look that would never leave her, and with a relaxed stature that was as inviting as a warm cup of chocolate from Sugar Cube Corner.

Storiesatrandom: “Still holding on to my bitch later folder.”

Her brother wasn’t far from her side, naturally given his position.

Twilight: “Makes sense, he is a guard after all.”

She watched him raise and shake a hoof at her, that same protective smile on his lips as he watched her.

Storiesatrandom: “Can’t wait for that to turn into false abertastment.”

It helped, but not by much. But what Twilight really wanted to see were the faces of her friends.

Storiesatrandom: “Which were all identical. I mean, I know the manes, colors, and Cutiemarks set you all apart, but let’s face it, your faces are fairly identical, and weren’t not for what I mentioned before, I couldn’t tell who’s who and what’s what.”

She needed them. Their confidence, their energy, their pride, and their support.

Storiesatrandom: “Will all turn to total fakeness in a minute when the ending shows up.”

If there was ever a time she needed the magic of their friendship, without the world being threatened, now was it.

Storiesatrandom: “Bad news, it won’t happen.”

Then there they were.

All: “Where?”

Pinkie Pie was jumping up and down with excitement as she watched her, her mane threatening to bounce right off of her head.

Storiesatrandom: “Someone call the cops, that mane is suicidal!”

Rainbow Dash hovered next to her, that confident and cocky grin on her muzzle with fiery eyes to boot.

Twilight: “Call the fire department while your at it!”

Rarity and Applejack each waved a hoof towards her, barely seen behind the large crowd. Sadly, Fluttershy was as hidden like a bush in a forest.

Twilight: “Well she does live in a forest, so it makes sense.”

“It is with great pride that I introduce to you all the voted contestants for the grand prize of the Lottery.” Mayor Mare’s voice drew Twilight back to reality. She watched the gray mane of the town’s mayor, dyed gray mane,

Storiesatrandom: “Oh boy, yet another incomident narration. This time, changing their mind the last minute. If you say gray, then it’s gray, don’t change it the last minute, Narration!”

move across the stage and towards the far edge.

“First, the lovely and talented Mrs. Lyra Heartstrings.” The unicorn took a practiced and graceful bow towards the cheer of the crowd. Bon Bon was as audible as a sonic rainboom  above the roar.

Storiesatrandom: “There were casualties that day.”

“Next, the charismatic Dr. Hooves.” Again the crowd roared in in cheer, several of the ponies, stomping their hooves against the ground for noise. Ditzy Doo Flew high above the rest of the already airborne pegasi, more visible now than even Princess Celestia. Despite the noise, the good doctor took merely a very controlled knee.

Storiesatrandom: “But who’s controlled knee?”

“Now I am proud to introduce the young and energetic Thunderlane.”

All: “BULLSHIT!”

Unlike the prior two competitors, the pegasi merely beat his wings twice and shook a hoof at the crowd, no doubt from the fatigue that clearly laced his body. The pegasi, however, made up for his lack of enthusiasm.

Storiesatrandom: “Oh, no surprise they’re happy he’s gonna get the worse of it!”

No less than two dozen of the winged ponies flew into the air in a clearly practiced formation, showering the citizens of Ponyville with confetti. Little Rumble hovered as high as he could above the crowd, wings buzzing much like the young Scootaloo as he waved to his elder brother.

Twilight: “Siblings suck apparently, do they?”

“And last, but most certainly not least, the Element of Magic herself, Twilight Sparkle.” There was only one way the young unicorn could describe the cheer given for her from the ponies of Ponyville.

She felt like Princess Luna was screaming at her from the crowd.

Storiesatrandom: “Aw gees, Luna’s here too?”

The roar from the crowd literally blew back her mane, forcing her eyes shut for fear of debris being lodged into her sockets.

Twilight: “Hey, it’s not like a hurricane or something.”

Her hooves gave a cry against the wood

Storiesatrandom: “Hooves can cry?”

Twilight: “Bodily impossible, ain’t it?”

as her form was slowly forced back under the tremendous voice of the mares and colts shouting her name in good cheer, if it was still be called a cheer at this point.

Twilight: “Felt like a million giant boats blowing their foghorns all at once!”

She swore she even heard one of the Equestrian flags rip at the seems under the “wind.”

Storiesatrandom: “Let’s hope it’s not the wind that comes from the behind, if ya catch my drift.”

If she were in a more controlled state of mind, Twilight might have assumed Rarity and other unicorns, maybe even Celestia and her brother, had casted voice enhancing spells on the ponies, similar to how she did for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Instead, only one thought pierced her still recovering mind.

‘I’m too popular for my own good.’

Storiesatrandom: “Understatement of the story, especially when the ending comes up.”

“Now, for the moment we have all been waiting for.” Mayor mare pushed her hoof into the ballot box, blinding grabbing at one of the four pieces of paper inside. The audience of ponies watched on with gleeful silence at the growing tension.

Storiesatrandom: “Aw shit, looks this means the dark moment’s gonna come! Weird I didn’t notice earlier, huh?”

Twilight said a silent prayer to her mentor the name wasn’t hers.

Twilight: “Please be Thunderlane cause he’s unproductive.”

The earth pony mare gave a small look of pleasure as she pulled out a piece of paper. It was folded twice over, hiding the name upon it well. Her hooves expertly unfolded the page, revealing the name to her and her alone.

Storiesatrandom (dramicly): “AND NO ONE ELSE!”

Twilight didn’t want to win. She really didn’t want to win. Lyra needed the money. Dr. Hooves needed the money. Thunderlane needed the money and recognition. She didn’t need any more of that.

Twilight: “Aren’t I modest?”

“And the winner is-”

She prayed to Celestia she didn’t win. She truly, honestly, prayed and wished she did not win.

Twilight (mimicking the Mayor): “Not Twilight Sparkle, because she is already a celebery to begin with, not to mention impourent to Equestia’s own survival and in conclusion-”

“Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight: “DAMN IT!”

The mare could not suppress her tears.

All: “Which mare?”

“Well everypony, you know what to do.” With an almost criminal amount of joy, Mayor Mare trotted off the stage. The other contestants did the same, walking by the miserable mare with smiles and grins on their muzzles.

Storiesatrandom: "Now those are ponies who take loss well. Then again, when see the ending, we’ll see why.”

Lyra gave a respectable bow to her fellow unicorn. The young Dr. Hooves gave curt, but polite, nod of his head. Thunderlane stopped in front of the terrified unicorn and gave her his brightest smile. It only made her tears fall faster. She shut her eyes tight as she felt the rest of Ponyville look up at her. She was the only mare on the stage now, surrounded by every resident of the town. They were smiling at her, she could feel it, proud of her for a reason she had only just recently learned.

Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it. Trust me, this is a “the Calm before the storm” moment. It is used in dark stories like this.”

She had just won the Lottery.

Storiesatrandom: “Expect to hear that a lot in this fic.”

“Aw, don’t be sad Twi’. This is the best part!” Said unicorn let her eyes peak open, already reddening under the tears was shedding. Maybe… maybe her books were wrong, maybe they were replaced by Rainbow during one of her many reading sessions, another two-bit prank that she would laugh over later.

Storiesatrandom: “At first, I thought that part would be pretty pointless, but then…”

SLAP

Storiesatrandom: “THAT HAPPENED!”

A rotten apple hit her face.

Twilight and Celestia gasped!

Storiesatrandom: “And that my friends, is when shit gets real!”

All hopes died in that moment.

Storiesatrandom: “A hope holocaust, if you would call it.”

“Wow! Great shot Pinkie!” She heard more than saw Dash cheer for her friend, damning her other. The whole of Ponyville was cheering. She heard the laughter and whoops of joy, fillies cheering with stomping hooves as she was being shamed.

Celestia: “I would never allow such a thing, I-”

Storiesatrandom: “Hold it, that gonna be a pointless saying coming soon.”

SLAP!

Another rotten apple hit across the face, the spoiled fruit mixing with her mane. At that moment, the whole of Ponyville began to throw the objects at her.

Celestia: “What were you saying, S.A.R.? this is not what I would even dare allowed! I refuse to allow the abusement of Twilight!”

Storiesatrandom: “Tried to warn her folks.”

SLAP “Yeah!” SLAP “That was a good one.” SLAP “I bet she’s feeling it now.” SLAP SLAP “Now that’s wha’ I call two fer the price of one!” SLAP SLAP SLAP “Ha! Still the best in Equestria!”

Twilight: “What bitches!”

Twilight was covered in the grim and gruel, tears mixing the pungent and offensive substances. But still she stood, as proud as she could. With tears down her muzzle, rotten fruit staining her coat, and weak hooves shaking beneath her, Twilight Sparkle didn’t move from her place atop the platform.

Storiesatrandom: “Before anyone say this was like a festival where it’s tradition to throw fruit at the winner as a cute joke, take a gander at this!”

“Alright, time for the real fun to begin.” The mare knew what was coming next.

CRACK!

She let out a high-pitched yelp of pain as the sensation. Her eyes opened through the grim of rotten fruit and tears to watch the source of the feeling roll across the stage.

A rock. A hard pressurized carbon rock. A pony, very likely one of her friends, had thrown a rock at her.

Celestia: “(Gasp), such, such, barbaric blashfome!”

She looked up across the happy faces, looking for the pony that had hurt her, intentionally brought her pain. They all looked so happy to her… they were all so happy to see her crying in shame and pain.

Twilight: “I’m sure Shining would never-”

“Think fast Twily!”

CRACK

Twilight cried again as she felt another bolt of pain, this time through her foreleg. It felt cracked beneath her skin, earning a pained sob and some extra tears from the lavender mare. This time, she recognized the voice. She knew it since she was just a little filly.

Her tear stained eyes fell on the proud smile of Shining Armor, her elder brother, her supposed BBBFF.

Twilight: “(Whimpers, tearing.)”

Celestia: “I bet this is the part I scold Shining and stop this barbaric torture and-”

“Oh, I suppose I can enjoy myself as well.”

A pained sob uttered from Twilight’s lips before she even felt the rock impact her chest. The pain of the force was nothing compared to knowing who had thrown the object at her. The voice was as well known to her as her own brothers, that of her beloved mentor and ruler, Princess Celestia.

Celestia: “ARE YOU SHITTING ME!”

Storiesatrandom: “Now time for my bitch later folder. Told you I’ll put it to good use. Here we have, the Benevolent Celestia, being out of her character, throwing rocks and taking part in a sickening, barbaric ritual, where the winner is hit to death with rocks and bad fruit! That’s a real oxy moron! Won’t that make you look like a tyrant NOT to see some traditions are best put down like a sick dog? I mean, Celestia is not tradition bound! She didn’t kept the Canterlot voice, she doesn’t speak in mutton English, and she witness Equestia changed a lot, and in fact, was involved of some of it’s most impourent changes! And your supposed to say, that the one thing she doesn’t change, is a barbaric ritual, and would actselly proudly say she enjoys it! That is the fucking making of Tyrant Celestia, or even Trollestia even worse then she would normally be! The same will also go for the other idiots of this fic, I mean, shouldn’t the Mayor be afraid this will look bad apawn in her re-election? Shouldn’t Rarity in all her sophisticated manor find it barbaric and there for, disapprove of it! Shouldn’t Pinkie think it’s the meanest thing she ever seen? Shouldn’t Applejack think this is all kinds of wrong as she misusingly placed on the rich folk! Shouldn’t Rainbow Dash downright hate anything having to do the abusement of her friends? Hence the fact she stood up to Gilda! And shouldn’t Fluttershy hate this being the damn flower child and lover of life and so called “Element of fucking kindness” dislike this for being downright cruel! And there’s there Shining, that douchebag! He of all ponies shouldn’t take part of this fucking abusement! He’s supposed to be a caring loving and protective brother, and yet he, ge, ay ge go ka jo! THIS IS BULLSHIT! WHAT ARE THEY THINKING, WHAT WAS THE ARTHUR THINKING! WHY DOES THIS STORY EXSIT?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!”

“Pardon me yer higness, but ah’ can’t let you have all the fun.”

Storiesatrandom: “Damn you Applejack!”

Twilight was in terror. She knew even through her tear stained vision what the whole of Ponyville was planning on throwing next. Rotten apples with smiles and grins were terrible enough. But rocks, possible bone breaking objects? How much could she take?

Twilight: “(Whimpers.)”

CRACK “Bet that one hurt.” CRACK “Right on her cutie mark! Hooray!” CRACK CRACK “Oh, this is fun.”

Storiesatrandom: “God forbid if Tom gets involved!”

Twilight fell to her knees. She tried desperate to bring up a shield, a spell, anything to block the pain that was permeating through her body.

She couldn’t do it. Her magic was unfocused, her horn slathered in the putrid fruit. Her body was weak from her distress and pain. The Element of Magic, unable to cast a single spell.

Storiesatrandom: “Dark irony everyone?”

CRACK

“AH!” She couldn’t suppress her yelp of pain as the hard object impacted her snout, resonating above her already drowning tears. She… she had to leave. She couldn’t stay. She thought was brave, she thought she could do this. For her princess, for her friends, for tradition.

But she couldn’t.

Twilight: “(Whimpers)”

In one of her single most desperate acts of magic, Twilight Sparkle teleported herself off the stage, and out of sight.

Storiesatrandom: “Gee, and I thought I was the only one who backs off the last minute to kill off a character.”

“Aw geez, did she really just run away?”

All: “Yes!”

“I must say, I thought she would have a tad bit more endurance than that.”

Storiesatrandom: “Sorry your disappointed, bitch!”

“Aw well, ain’t like she’s gonna be comin’ back. That messed up bad, and ah’ bet a pebble would put ‘er down.”

Storiesatrandom: “Well you morons were the ones throwing rocks?!”

“She fared better than most others I have seen. Now would be a good time for me to make the arrangements for her family.”

Celestia: “I doubt the family would choose money over loved ones. Let alone their own bucking daughter!”

“Oh yes, ah, Spike will be thrilled to hear it. I-I’m sure he’ll fill the library with gems. That is, um, if the earnings are the same as last year.”

Storiesatrandom: “I am sure Spike is not gonna be the least bit frilled his own adoubtive sister is outcasted!”

“Of but of course Fluttershy. Twilight’s family will be taken care of for the next year entire!

Storiesatrandom: “Money’s pretty pointless if your loved ones are good and gone!”

“I’ll tell our parents, they’ll probably be dropping for joy. Same with Cadence.”

Storiesatrandom: “BULLSHITIEST statement I ever heard!”

“Hey now, its time for the party!”

Storiesatrandom: “How I would like to blow up that party!”

Cheers echoed and boomed around the declaration of the familiar voice.

Storiesatrandom: “Fucking sadists.”

Twilight Sparkle listened with terrified clarity, honing in on every words her “friends” spoke. Just behind a pony’s house, in a dark alley out of sight of Town Square, she continued to sob. She was in pain, so much pain… but she had to leave. Now.

Storiesatrandom: “And thus, our depressing scene, ladies and mares.”

A single unseen flash from her horn, and Twilight was gone.

Storiesatrandom: “And sad moment briefly over-looked in 3, 2, 1.”

“Dang, still no cutie marks.”

Storiesatrandom and Celestia laughed like hyenas!

Storiesatrandom: “HOW YOU LIKE THAT, YOU FREAKING SADISTS!”

****

Twilight blinked into existence well outside the boundary to Ponyville, far outside the earshot of anypony in Town Square.

Storiesatrandom: “That is unless a pony has a cutie mark for super hearing!”

She cried with unrestrained tears.

Twilight: “(Whimpers.)”

Twilight sobbed to herself as she left her home as fast as she could, with an injured foreleg, bruised sides, and with only half her vision available. The tears fell like pegasi rain from her eyes, watering the dirt lane beneath her injured hooves. She hobbled more than trotted down the path.

Storiesatrandom: “Careful, ending’s a real tear jerker!”

Where could she go now?

Canterlot was impossible. Her family, her mentor, any one time acquaintance would recognize her. Cloudsdale was even more impossible. Even if she was able to maintain a cloud walking spell for long enough, she would be questioned daily for her presence, and ultimately, be found out. Appleloosa? Maybe, but Applejack would doubtlessly tell her cousin all about her status, and a single sight of the lavender mare would be all that it would take to send her on the run again. Las Pegasus, Manehattan, Trottingham? No, Celestia’s star pupil would doubtlessly be known among all the members of the guard and police, and they were trained to catch any pony of any status.

Storiesatrandom: “Oh great, so she’s fucked either way!”

There really was only one place she could be safe now, she just didn’t wan to admit it.

Twilight: “(Whimpers) I don’t like this story….”

S.A.R. and Celestia: “Nether do we!”

Twilight began the slow trek towards the infamous woods of The Everfree Forest.

Storiesatrandom: “Oh, hell no!”

“I-It’s not fair.” She muttered weakly as she trotted away from Ponyville, tears in her eyes and hooves weak with pain. There would doubtlessly be bruises under her coat the next morning. One of the rocks may have even broken one of her ribs, or so the throbbing would make her believe.

Storiesatrandom: “Obviously going to the hospital would be out of the question!”

“I-I did so much. I… I thought I could be… an e-exception… maybe.” She continued to mumble to herself, limping on her weak hooves and doubtlessly broken forehoof as she did so.

Storiesatrandom: “By the gods, this is, dark. I seen some dark moments in my days, but this, this is, darker then the ending of “Stars wars, episode 3”, or even that of “Star wars, episode 5”. This makes the most depressing moments in most dark moments in action movies look like the happiest moments of your life!”

“Rainbow Dash… Pinkie Pie… Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity.” A pitiful cough came from her throat, caught under her tears. “P-Princess… Sh-Shiny…”

Storiesatrandom: “Betrayal’s a suckish feeling, ain’t it?”

Twilight began to bawl.

Storiesatrandom: “It’s either a misspelling of “Brawl,” or the bizarre way to say “Cry” or “Sob”.”

She didn’t stop moving, for fear of more pain. She didn’t slow her pace, for fear of being found, but she continued to cry in her lonely trek away from the first place she was ever able to call her perfect home.

Storiesatrandom: “Such darkness, such, freaken darkness!”

It was only when the shade of the forest surrounded her did she open her eyes again.

Storiesatrandom: “This, is… dark.”

Twilight found herself before the Everfree Forest, the gargantuan home to the most vicious of animals known to Pony kind. Ursa Majors, Timberwolves, Manticores, and Cockatrices.

Storiesatrandom: “Don’t forget Diamond Dogs, and every single fan monster made up by various “Everfree fanfics” monsters, and dragons.”

And this would be her new home.

Storiesatrandom: “Crappest home if I seen one.”

She had won the lottery, and she had won one of the worst kinds of prizes of all.

Banishment.

Storiesatrandom: “Wow, that is a bad prize.”

Another sob wracked her frame, the images of her friends, her dearly beloved and cherished friends, throwing rotten apples and rocks at her while the whole of Ponyville cheered behind them. Her beloved mentor watched on with an amused grin, wings’ flaring under only Luna knows what kind of emotion. And her brother even… even her brother threw stones at her…

Storiesatrandom: “Complete jerks in my book.”

She felt her hooves growing weak, but she couldn’t stay here. If any pony from Ponyville found her, she would lose any “honor” her name had, if she hadn’t already.

Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, that really sucks ass.”

Twilight Sparkle had won the Lottery.

Storiesatrandom: “We’re aware of that, we saw that!”

She was a beaten and broken mare. She had rotten fruit dripping from her mane. She had bruises beneath her coat. She had a shattered heart and broken will. Her friends now loved her pain. Her mentor enjoyed her misery. Her brother relished her tears.

Storiesatrandom: “When the hell are tears hotdogs?”

She sobbed again to herself, doing nothing to stop the tears that continued to flow down her muzzle. Slowly, painfully, her hooves began to guide her into the deadly forest.

Twilight: “(Whimpers), (CRIES!)”

Twilight Sparkle won the Lottery. She had lost everything else… in the name of tradition.

“It’s just not fair.”

Storiesatrandom: “And that’s it? Really? Ok, final opinion ti-”

Author’s Note

Storiesatrandom: “THERE’S AN ARTHUR’S NOTE?! Oh, this wise-guy better explain himself!”

: Due to fear for my life, let me explain.

S.A.R. and Celestia hold out pitch forks and torches.

Celestia: “Please do.”

I in now way

Twilight said nothing.

Twilight: “Don’t think I noticed the incorrect writing, he clearly meant no! I am too miserable in a sad way right now!”

think this would actually, or has actually, happened in FiM.

Storiesatrandom: “As like we already are aware, buster!”

I just finished reading the “Top 50 Greatest Short Stories of All Time,” and this idea popped into my head.

Storiesatrandom: “I would really punch the guy who made the list of short stories.”

It looks like Equestria is a land pretty freaking heavy on tradition, so I can see how no one would second guess another tradition, and why Twilight would bow to it because Celestia endorsed it.

Storiesatrandom: “I already explained how that doesn’t make sense.”

In case your also curious, my justification for the stones was because… they were trying to kill Twilight.

Celestia: “I cannot believe what I am hearing!”

In order to keep the poor society at a minimum as well as flourish, they had to remove most of the population, hence a lottery.

Storiesatrandom: “There’s a better way to control the population: practice safe sex by WEARING CONDOMS!”

This is all based off a short story I have credited in the description; any Google search will take you there.

Celestia: “That still doesn’t make me want to strangle your accursed neck!”

Any more questions, comments, angry letters of rage can be posted in a comment.

Storiesatrandom: “Won’t be surprised if he got more angry letters then phrase.”

Hugs and kisses,

~The Wizard of Words

Celestia: “Wizard of words my big flank!”

Storiesatrandom: Ok, I guess it’s obviously opinion time.”

Storiesatrandom: “Ok ladies, Opinion time, go.”

Twilight cried to the top of her lungs and fell on the floor!

Celestia hold up Twilight.

Celestia: “There, there, Twilight, everything’s alright.”

Storiesatrandom: “Just me again, huh? Ok. The story was TOO dark for it’s own good. Not only that, it has a very incorrect idea of Equestia traditions, and it obviously should not have existed. Ok, it has some SMALL good points. I’ll admit it is well put together in terms to how the fic is made, and it is somewhat genius to mix this my little pony with this, short story I never really heard of. I guess because I never seen the book, I shouldn’t read and/or judge this fanfic. Despite the other good points like the awesome and well deserved irony of the idiot crusaders, good fic structure, an interestingly and surprisingly good reception on the FIMfiction site alone, and admitingly, a pretty awesome fan image that was found off of Equestia Daily it used as a cover image, and alcourse, I requested to the Arthur to make a sequel where everything turns good. His response: maybe, he said he might get to it when he can, but aside from that, this is a dark story that was, just too dark, even for grimdark standards. It will surely be hated by canon loyalists, those with some sanity, and alcourse, Twilight fans (by that, I mean the Pony Twilight). I know Twilight herself hated what she seen.”

Twilight: “Celestia, can we go home?”

Celestia: “Alcourse, and I’ll buy some ice cream for us. Care to come, Storiesatrandom?”

Storiesatrandom: “Oh, why not, if I was there for Rainbow Dash, I guess I’ll be there for Twi. I am Storiesatrandom, and they were Twilight and Celestia, we remembered so you don’t have too. Pray for Twilight’s wellbeing, people, pray for her.”

They leave.

Next Chapter: Cutie Mark Crusader What Nows? Estimated time remaining: 17 Minutes