Ugh... So sick... Have to talk... with ellipses... See the sacrifices I make for you guys? I could be playing Skyrim right now! I expect get well cards from all of you! This next riff is part of a multi-chapter story, which I'll be breaking down into smaller pieces and be doing over time. I'll do other one-shots in between chapters (and other multi-chapter stories? Who knows?) This is a dark piece that is extremely tame compared to the stories I've been doing so far. If you want to give it a read without the commentary, go here. As for my personal opinion on the fic, I think the author of the story himself (herself?) sums up the problems of it pretty nicely here. The story feels a bit scattered, and the writing isn't all that great in the beginning. I was happy to find that the story's quality vastly improves as it continues, and I actually found myself enjoying it around chapter seven or so. If you're looking for a longer story to dig your teeth into, I'd recommend giving this one a shot. It's not the best, but it's FAR from the worst!
Enjoy!

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Pinkie Pie: Hey everypony!
Author: She's said two words and already I'm suspicious.
Twilight: I was suspicious after one.
Rarity: I just read who was saying the line and I was suspicious.
Pinkie Pie: You silly fillies! Why would I try to make you do an MPPT when I'd be forced to read it with you?
Author: ... A valid point. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Get this, so the story will be about Tom turning into an anthropomorphic-pony and-
Pinkie Pie: JUST KIDDING!
(Doors lock shut)
Author: Damn it!
Rarity: Pinkie Pie, you realize that you'll be stuck reading with us, right?
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding? This is fun! I get to hang out with my best friends! And author is here too, but that's okay!
Author: Hey!
Pinkie Pie: I won't read every story, but I couldn't resist with this one!
Twilight: Rainbow Dash, won't YOU let us off easy this time?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Hey, anything is better then "Sweet Apple Massacre"! You should consider yourselves lucky I haven't made you read "Rainbow Factory"! Today we've got a nice, cheesy grimdark called "Not My Destiny". Twilight-
Twilight: Why are these stories always about me?!
Rainbow Dash: - Gains powers worthy of a Mary Sue, and goes crazy, because I guess that's what happens when you become an alicorn.
(Buzzer rings)
Pinkie Pie: We've got story sign!

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Not My Destiny

Pinkie Pie: The original title was “Someone Else’s Destiny”!

by Smayds

Author: Sounds like a brand of dip.

Chapter 1 - Good Morning, Goddess

Rarity: “Please be quiet… I had a bottle of Chimay last night and my head is pounding…

Groan.
]Twilight wasn't a morning pony - never had been, as a matter of fact. But on this particular day, she probably wouldn't be an afternoon pony either.

Twilight: On REALLY bad days, I’m also not a night pony!
Pinkie Pie: One time, a day was so bad she disappeared from existence for a WEEK!

Maybe an evening pony? What a night.

Author: “I don’t know what was in that drink, but at least some pony gave me some free Smartees."

Tossing and turning for hours, she just couldn't get comfortable no matter how she contorted herself.

Rarity: However, she did discover that she was double jointed.

Some point after she'd finally dropped off,

Pinkie Pie: Look out for that cliff!

she must have got all twisted. Her body was full of cramps. Maybe she'd finally have to take Rarity up on her regular offers to visit the spa.
Sure could do with a massage right about now. My back...

Author: Great, this is going to be a story about Twilight’s visit to the chiropractor, isn’t it?

She was far, far to sore to fall back to sleep. She was sure her joints actually creaked as she flopped out of her bed,

Rarity: A little oil and she’ll be good as new!

hooves hitting the wooden floor of her bedroom with soft thuds. She arched her back in

Author: A fashion similar to Roman architecture.

an effort to work the worst of the kinks out.

Twilight: She was careful to keep the best kinks to herself.

OW! OW OW OW OW OW!

Pinkie Pie: Hey! That’s my reaction to reading this story!

Okay, enough stretching. Stretching could wait until after breakfast.
Breakfast. Oh my. Breakfast.

Rarity: I’m getting the feeling that she really wants breakfast.

She was so hungry. She couldn't ever remember feeling this hungry before.

Twilight: Except for last night before dinner. And before lunch after that…

She wobbled over to the nightstand, feeling around with her magic for her hairbrush.

Author: Does your brain get different sensations based on the object the… uh… magic is touching?

I'll just get this hair out of my eyes, then breakfast. Breakfast!

Pinkie Pie: “And then stretching! But first breakfast!”

The hairbrush cracked, the sound like a whip.

Twilight: That’s what happens when you feel too hard with your magic.

Her head jerked up, hair flying out of her eyes.

Rarity: Eyes that can shoot hair? Brilliant!

She was holding the pulverised remains of the carved wooden handle.

Pinkie Pie: What happened to the brush?
Author: That IS the brush.

She'd crushed it. The head dangled sadly in her telekinetic grip.

Twilight: Oh… I feel so bad for this poor brush. He was my favorite character so far.

Whuh... What? How did THAT happen?

All: YOU CRUSHED IT!

So HUNGRY! Augh. Forget my hair. I need breakfast.

Author: You don't need it, you want it.

She glanced at the mirror to see her tremendous bed-head.
Spike's gonna be laughing about this all week, the littl-

Author: Bastard.

The remains of the hairbrush fell to the floor. Her hunger fled.

Pinkie Pie: Run! Before she starts talking about breakfast again!

An icy ball of horror replaced the gnawing pains in the pit of her stomach.

Author: She was keeping that ice ball in the freezer all winter, just so she could whip it out for an occasion like this.

Her eyes had opened so wide, her eyelids stung.

Rarity: A… curious choice of description.

The pony staring back at her from the glass looked aghast,

Twilight: “My mane can’t be THAT bad!”

the mouth agape, the colour draining rapidly from its lavender face.

Author: Better call a plumber and get that leak fixed right up.

Above the terrified eyes, sticking out of the rumpled mess of indigo mane, a horn protruded.

Pinkie Pie: Oh no! Twilight’s never had a horn before!

It was half as long again as Twilight's horn, its tip needle-sharp. The spiral fluting glistened like mother-of-pearl,

Author: … I think Smayd’s just proved I’m really stupid, because my reaction to the last sentence was; “What?”

and small motes of light were winking

Rarity: What flirts!

in and out all around it.
The pony in the mirror moved its eyes, just as Twilight did. Left, then right, the pinprick pupils shifted, as Twilight gazed at the ruffled feathers sticking every which way out of this strange and terrifying pony's wings.

Twilight: At first I thought this was a mirror I was staring into, but obviously that’s another pony! I mean, turn into an alicorn? That's just silly!
Rarity: Oh, um… Indeed.

Twilight's heart stopped for a few beats.

Author: CLEAR!
Pinkie Pie: Bzzt!

She didn't notice. She wasn't breathing.

Author: We’re losing her! Crank up the voltage, and… CLEAR!
Pinkie Pie: Bzzt!

She didn't notice this either. For nearly a full minute she gaped at the shocking

Author: Damn it, don’t you die on me! One more time!

reflection, the trembling in her chest spreading throughout her entire body

Author: Wait! Hold on, I think she’s…

until her hooves rattled quietly against the floor.

Author: She’s alive! Good job team, cupcakes are on me!

Then, suddenly, she tore her eyes away from the mirror, whirled around, and stared at her messy bed. Full of lavender feathers.

Twilight: “I knew that griffon at the bar was being a little TOO nice!”

She started to pass out.

Rarity: But then she changed her mind.

Her knees hit the floor, blackness crept into the edges of her vision, huge rolling waves of nausea pulsed through her. Her heart beat so fast and hard that it

Pinkie Pie: EXPLODED!
Author: The end.

ached, the blood pumping through her ears sounded as loud as a train.

Author: All aboard for the Cardiovascular Express!

She started breathing again, great, wracking gasps of air that burned through her throat and chest.

Twilight: Who knew air was so acidic?

"Spike..." she choked out.

Rarity: Did she just cough up a Spike?

Come on, Twilight, get a grip. Just breathe. Breathe. That's it. Nice, deep, even breaths. Don't think. Just breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Author: Yeah, breathe. Just, breathe, faster and faster and OH CELESTIA I NEED TO BREATHE, WHY CAN”T I BREATHE!?

"Spike," she whispered.
Breathe, damnit! Slow, steady, calming breaths. Good. That's it. One more, deep, hold it in, aaaaaaand...
"SPIIIIIIIIIIIKE!" she yelled. "SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE SPIIIIIIIIIIIKE!"

Twilight: As you can see, I’m very efficient saying things with only one breath.

The rushing sound that was filling her ears

Author: Was the water from the dam, which just gave, engulfing Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: The end!

muffled the patter of quick feet running up the passage. She staggered to her hooves in a daze, lurched sideways, and fell out of her bed-loft with a shriek,

Rarity: What is she, a bird?

collapsing in a heap on her main bedroom floor.

Twilight: Luckily the heap broke her fall.

The door opened. "Twilight? What's wrong? Twilight? Twilight!

Author: TWILIGHT!

Did you fall? Are you hurt? Why are you covered in... feathers..."

Pinkie Pie: “Twilight! What did I tell you about accepting drinks from griffons?!”

Twilight opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry, but she could make out Spike holding up a wing, near the tip. His eyes were dilating,

Author: “Want a joint?”

then they rolled back into his head. Spike toppled gently over onto his back with a soft thump.

Pinkie Pie: CRASH!

This was far, far too much to deal with for one morning.

Twilight: This required at least three mornings!

Twilight felt her grip on reality finally snap, and as her head hit the wooden bedroom floor, she joined the little dragon in blissful unconsciousness.

Author: Holy crap, STOP FALLING OVER. I swear, this is like the end of every chapter of Eragon...

---

Rarity: That’ it? We’re done?
Twilight: Seems an odd way to end the story, but hey, I’m not going to complain.
Pinkie Pie: No, sillies! That was just the first chapter!
Twilight, Rarity, and Author: Just the first chapter?
Author: Sweet Celestia, I'm going into shock...
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Dashie is getting the next one ready!
Author: Great. Well, might as well discuss the story so far.
Rarity: Well, first she really wanted breakfast.
Twilight: Then she started gasping a lot.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Then Spike came along!
Rarity: From what I've read, I get the impression that he was gasping a lot too.
Twilight: You forgot the large amounts of passing out.
Rarity: Ah, yes. Sorry.
Author: So let me sum it all up; Twilight wakes up, wants breakfast, and then starts gasping and passing out. This story has a strong start, to say the least.
Pinkie Pie: I can't wait for the musical adaptation!
(Buzzer rings)
All: We've got story sign!

---

Not My Destiny

Rarity: Deja-vu.

by Smayds

Author: Brand mayonnaise.

Chapter 2 - Surprise!

All: Ahh!
Pinkie Pie: I did not see that coming!

"Should we send for the Princess? I really think we should. This is, well, quite unusual."

Author: It’s not everyday a Mary Sue is born.

"Unusual? It's crazy! Unicorns aren't supposed to have wings! Not proper pegasus wings anyway!

Twilight: “They’re supposed to have wings cobbled together from old tin cans!

Those butterfly wings were bad enough!"
"Rainbow Dash, I have apologised over and over for my deplorable display at the competition, and thanked you countless times for saving my life! Why must you keep bringing those awful events up?!"

Rarity: Just in case you readers didn’t catch that, Rarity and Rainbow Dash are now in the conversation.

"Quit yer hollerin', you two, she's comin' round. The last thing she's gonna need is an argument right now."

Author: Applejack too.

Three anxious faces swam out of the blackness, fuzzy and indistinct at first, then colours and detail came flooding in. Twilight jerked upright with a start, panting a little. Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Three of her best friends.

Pinkie Pie: I didn’t know that!

"Oh, GIRLS!" Twilight gasped.

Twilight: “I’m glad you’re HERE! Make yourselves at HOME.

The three ponies jumped a little, then uttered surprised exclamations as Twilight launched herself up off her couch and caught all three of them into a bone-shattering hug.

Rarity: Hugged to death. What a way to go.

"Hey now, sugar-cube, you don't wanna be throwin' yerself around like that. Yer' unwell, is what you are, an' we're here to make sure you're okay." Applejack's familiar drawl made Twilight start sobbing.

Author: I’d sob if I heard that attempt at a southern accent, too.

"Y-you're here! I... I w-wanted my friends!

Twilight: “But all I got was you three!”

I was d-dreaming about all of you! N-nightmares! I couldn't f-find you and I needed you and... How did... Did Spike get you?"

Pinkie Pie: “After he was done being unconscious, that is.”

The other three gently started extricating themselves, and each other, from Twilight's shaking grip.
"Calm down, Twilight, we're here for you," said the purple-maned unicorn

Rarity: Sweetie Belle?

that was gently pushing Twilight back down onto the couch. "Spike ran straight to the Boutique to tell me, I ran here while he went to get the others...

Author: The “Twilight turned into an Alicorn” emergency plan went off without a hitch!

Ah, darling, I must confess I was quite taken aback. I lifted you down here, straightened out and folded your... new additions,

Pinkie Pie: Mane extensions?

and got you settled in on your couch."
"Then he ran inter me as I wuz gettin' ma stand set up fer the day," Applejack said. "He ran off ter get Dash, and I ran here."

Author: Applejack sounds ghetto.

"He yelled 'til I woke up," Rainbow Dash

Author: Called the bluff and…

put in,

]Author: A hundred bits.

"and I raced to Fluttershy's. Then we got Pinkie on the way back, and we, um..."

Rarity: “Sorry, I forgot the rest.”

"Spike's upstairs in bed, he's had a terrible shock, poor thing.

Pinkie Pie: That’s what he gets for sticking a fork in the outlet!

And Fluttershy had to go back and check on her animals,

Twilight: Animals are more important than me.

she should be right back, and we have no idea where Pinkie Pie disappeared to.

Author: Beyond the fourth wall, where she always goes.

She was here a minute ago," Rarity said. "She's probably planning you a party to celebrate your... um..."

Rarity: “Wingification?”
Twilight: “Alicornication?”
Author: Let’s just say “additions” and be done with it.

"We've all bin' waitin' fer you to open yer eyes. We wuz about to send Dash here to go fetch the doctor, but you woke up an'..."
Applejack gaped as Twilight leaped back off the couch. "Hey now! You need rest! Now just you come back here, Twilight!"

Twilight: “Just you! No one else!”

The three of them raced after Twilight, straight into the library's small kitchen.

Author: They rounded the corner, with Applejack in the lead, and here they are going for the final lap…

Twilight, wings trailing behind her,

Pinkie Pie: “C’mon wings, keep up!”

had made a beeline straight for the fridge. Her head was jammed inside it,

Author: Good thing she was “jammed” in a “fridge”!
Twilight: You’re just as bad as the story…

munching on something.

Author: Don’t you just hate it when people chew on ice cubes?

Applejack stuck her own head in, next to Twilight's. "Hungry, huh, sugarcube?" Twilight didn't answer. Her eyes were closed, and she was gulping down a bunch of droopy carrots.

Pinkie Pie: Those carrots need a pick-me-up!

"Hey, uh, I got fresher carrots'n those out at mah stand. I can go get yeh somethin' if yeh like?"
The sound of the front door closing floated through from the main room of the library.

Twilight: Was the sound pumped full of helium?

Twilight had finished the carrots - stalks and all - and was starting on a couple of turnips, when Fluttershy trotted into the kitchen. "Oh! Twilight, are you okay? You're up. Should you be up? Should you be" - Twilight let out a belch to make Spike proud, and started to attack a lettuce –

Author: The police were shocked today when they found the desecrated remains of a young lettuce.

"um, eating quite so much food?"
Well, she did just have, ya know, a growth spurt," Rainbow Dash pointed out as Applejack backed up. "Happens every moult for a pegasus. You have to regrow all your feathers in a single night, and you're just so far beyond hungry the next morning that you can go a little crazy if there isn't enough food in the house."

Author: Is this canon? Because I'd like to see a story where Princess Celestia forgot to go shopping and eats every pony.
Pinkie Pie: "Starvestia"!

"Really? I don't get so hungry after a moult, Dashie."
"Well, no offense, Fluttershy, pal, but you don't really burn through the energy I do. Could be metabolism?"

Rarity: Fluttershy, darling, I think she just insulted you!

"Oh! Yes, I'm sure that's what it must be," Fluttershy nodded.
"Whatta you think, Fluttershy?" Applejack asked, continuing the conversation that herself, Rarity and Rainbow Dash had been having before Twilight came around.

Twilight: She’s continuing the previous conversation with a pony that wasn’t in the conversation.

"They ain't no pegasus wings. They can't be. Twilight's a unicorn!"

Twilight: Acceptance is the first step to solving any problem.

She shook her head in protest. "Ponies don't just go an' grow themselves a set a' wings overnight. It's gotta be a spell."
"They ARE pegasus wings, Applejack! I would know! I'M a pegasus!" Dash pointed out, quite unnecessarily, from near the ceiling.

Rarity: So she was unnecessarily near the ceiling?

"Well, they can't be alicorn wings," Fluttershy offered. "I mean, the only alicorns are the Princesses."

Pinkie Pie: “And all the Mary Sue’s running about, but no one cares about them!”

"Ah, Twilight, darling, you're... you're not a princess, are you?" Rarity asked, a little timidly.

Author: If she was, there’d be a ball-gown naturally growing from her coat.

"They're not pegasus wings," Twilight said as she withdrew her head from her now-empty refrigerator and nudged the door closed with a back hoof.

Rarity: Question? What’s the difference between pegasus and alicorn wings?
Twilight: Oh, well, you see, one’s feathered and the other… No, wait, one allows you to fly and the other… Huh.

She licked her lips. "I'm not a pegasus. I can't possibly have pegasus wings.

Pinkie Pie: Tell that to Smayds!

And if it was a spell, I didn't cast it. As far as I know, there's no spell that can grow feathered wings on a pony.

Author: “Butterfly wings? Completely different.”

And they absolutely positively just can not be alicorn wings, because there's no way that I could be an alicorn." A worried frown crossed her eyes,

Twilight: Her eyes frowned? Neat trick.

and she glanced up quickly at her horn.
Don't think about that. Don't think about that.

Author: “Doh! I lost the game!”

"Twilight, they are definitely pegasus wings. Look!" Rainbow Dash plopped to the floor and stretched her own wings up and out.

Pinkie Pie: “I can make snow-angels even when there’s no snow!”

"Can you do that? We'll see what they look like when you hold them up!"

Rarity: “Wing holding-up competition at sun down! Be there!”

Twilight looked back over her shoulder at her wings. They were hanging limply down at her sides. She tried to move them. Nothing happened.

Author: Riveting.

"Nope," she said. She tried again. They twitched, and Twilight gasped. "I felt something! It's like..."

Twilight: “The greatest sense of disappointment I’ve ever known!”

she concentrated, grunting slightly. Slowly, very slowly, they started to rise. "Aha! I've got to use muscles I didn't have until this morning! I think... "

Author: “Therefore I am.”

The feathers seemed to be straightening out of their own accord. There was a brief, slow flutter, and then the wings folded neatly against her sides.

Rarity: Good! I just can’t stand it when things are just lying on the floor and no pony bothers to fold them!

"Okay. Okay. Step one. Stay with me, girls.

Twilight: “Step two I’ll need a roll of tape, two dozen pounds of rocks, and a miniature model of Sugarcube Corner. Move it!”

Keep my mind off how I got them for the moment, alright? I'll start going crazy if

Pinkie Pie: “The author of the story is writing a gore fic!”

I... Just keep me talking, okay?" There were nods of agreement.
"Sure, we can do that. Can you raise 'em up so they look like this?" Dash asked, giving her own upraised pair a small shake.

Author: The wings wanted a large chocolate shake, but they were running low at Dairy Queen.

"Let's find out," Twilight replied. Her wings flapped open. "Oh! They sure can move once you know how! Okay. Upright. Let's see..." Twilight's wings arched up until they mirrored Rainbow's pose. "Like this?"

Rarity: “Totally wrong, try again!”

Rainbow Dash's own wings wilted. Her jaw dropped open to mirror the looks on Fluttershy's, Rarity's and Applejack's faces.

Pinkie Pie: There’s a lot of mirroring in this story!
Twilight: Careful not to break this fic, or you’ll get seven years of bad luck.

"What?" said Twilight. "What's the matter?"

Rarity: “Do these wings make me look fat?”

"They're not pegasus wings," Dash whispered.

Author: They’re toucan wings!

"Of course they're not pegasus wings! I'm not a pegasus!"
"Oh my..." Fluttershy squeaked.
"They look like..." Rarity was even whiter than usual. "They look like..."

Pinkie Pie: “Nah, we’re just messin’ with you! They’re pegasus wings!

"Princess Celestia's wings,"

Rarity: “What have we told you about stealing other pony’s wings and sewing them onto your back?

Applejack breathed.

Twilight: That’s good to note.

The wings in question hit the kitchen floor with an audible "flooooomph."

Author: I thought it sounded more like a “poomph”, but that’s just me.

The five best friends stared at each other in utter silence. After a very long moment, Rarity broke it.

Pinkie Pie: “Whoops! I hope that wasn’t expensive!”

"Your horn," she whispered. "Twilight, your horn. It's bigger. And far too sharp to be a unicorn horn..."

Twilight: “That is, unless you fell asleep on a grindstone.”

Twilight had started shaking again. Rarity took a step forwards to comfort her, when an explosion of confetti, streamers, and balloons seemed to erupt out of nowhere,

Author: Take shelter! I knew the Russians would be invading someday, but the party equipment caught me off guard!

accompanied by a cacophony of sound that hammered off the walls of the tiny kitchen like particularly cheerful thunder.

Rarity: Pinkie Pie better be paying for all that damage!

"SUR-PRIIIIISE! IT'S YOUR CONGRATULATIONS-ON-GETTING-YOUR-NEW-WINGS PARTY!"

Author: Better than my “Congratulations-On-Turning-Into-a-Freak-of-Nature” party.

shrilled Pinkie Pie, shoving a party hat over Twilight's horn and grinning, quite literally,

Twilight: And impossibly.

from ear to ear.
The party hat burst into flames, and Twilight hit the floor, screwing up her eyes, curling her legs and wings tightly into a ball, and starting to shudder violently.

Pinkie Pie: My parties can do that to a pony sometimes.

---

Author: So does this count as a passing-out-ending? Because if it is, I think we've figured out how the author is going to naturally create chapter breaks.
Twilight: She was only shuddering, so it doesn't count.
Pinkie Pie: WELL?! Isn't this FUN?!
Rarity: Define "fun".
Author: Not fun?
Twilight: Torturous?
Pinkie Pie: You know what fun means!
Twilight: I'm curious how you'd throw a Congratulations-On-Getting-Your-Wings-Party. How would you decorate?
Rarity: I'd think you'd just tape wings on to everything in reach.
Author: And then there'd be fans set up throughout the room, so it's kind of like the wind in your hair while you're flying.
Pinkie Pie: And everyone would be in the air!
Author: ... Okay, that'd be cool. Not sure how it would work, but at least the ideas are flowing.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got break sign!
Pinkie Pie: Be back soon!

Next Chapter: Not My Destiny: Chapters 3 and 4 Estimated time remaining: 45 Hours, 42 Minutes