Alright kids, gather ‘round as Uncle Homely gives you another MST! I’m going to do something a little different today, because today we’re going to a CLOP-FIC! … Hooray? This is great, because I can now mark "Mystery Pinkie Pie Theater 3000" as mature for having sex in it! Anyway, for those of you who REALLY don’t want to see the more “intimate” moments, you can drop out when the riffing cast takes their usual break from the story. Of course, if you’ve read Cupcakes, you probably should be fine.

Rarity: Come in, come in!
Fluttershy: Aren’t you going in with us, Rarity?
Rarity: Oh, I, uh, would, but I’m afraid that I’ve got, er, urgent business to attend to!
Applejack: Alright then, we won’t keep ya.
(Rarity flees)
Author: Okay, idea. Fluttershy becomes an alicorn and creates a communist society because she wants everything to be equal.
Twilight: Well, it’s creative…
Applejack: Hey Author! We’re here for that Lord of the Rings crossover you were plannin’ to do!
Fluttershy: We don’t actually hurt any trees, right…?
Author: What? What are you two talking about? I trashed that idea. Unless…
(Doors swing shut and lock)
Author: I knew it! We’re in that damn MST-
Twilight: MPPT3K?
Author: Whatever.
Applejack: What in the hay is a MPS… MPPE… What are you ramblin’ on about?
Author: Here. Read the intro to this. (Hands them copy of Cupcakes MST)
Applejack: Consarnit, why are we here then!?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Well, I was talking to Rarity the other day…
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Get this, she didn’t want to be part of the next prank!
Pinkie Pie: (From Tv) So we made a little deal! She brings Fluttershy and Applejack over, and she doesn’t have to read today’s story!
Author: Why, that son of a bitch.
Fluttershy: I think you mean daughter of a mare.
Author: I know what I mean!
Twilight: So what’s the prank for today?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Get this, so, we were thinking of giving you another gore story…
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) But then we decided to switch things up a bit!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Today’s a cheesy clop-fic called “Corporal Punishment”.
Pinkie Pie: It’s a Spike-Twilight pairing!
Twilight: For some odd reason, I’m really dreading this.
Flutershy: I don’t really like the idea of-
(Buzzers sound)
Author: We got story sign!

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

Author: IS THAT THE TITLE?
Applejack: I GUESS SO.

By Dayland Banardi

Twilight: Editing done by Nightocean.

Twilight was in the library, surrounded by piles of books. She was flipping through one of them, intent on finding a certain spell.

Twilight: “That horn enhancer spell has got to be in here somewhere…”

"It's got to be here somewhere," she thought to herself. After going through lord-knows-how-many-books,

Author: THIS IS THE LORD. SHE WENT THROUGH 142 BOOKS.

Twilight threw her hooves up in the air.

Author: She did the pony-pokey, and threw herself about…

"Augh! Where's Pinkie Pie when you need her!?"
"You called?" said a voice from behind.

Applejack: “You never call me! I thought we had somethin’ special!”

"EEP!" Twilight fell face-first to the floor.

Author: That was clumsy. Does she do that every time a pony calls her name?
Applejack: Hey Twilight!
Twilight: Ahh! (crashes into a lamp, ties herself up accidently, and falls out a window)

"Hi Twilight!" said Pinkie, whose was sitting behind where Twilight was.
"H...

Applejack: Her name’s Pinkie.

how did you...you know what? Forget it."

Author: Forget what?

Twilight found her balance

Twilight: “It was in my coat pocket the whole time!”

and sat up, now facing Pinkie.
"I was wondering if you can help me find a book. I'm looking a age-reversal spell and..." But before Twilight could finish her sentence Pinkie zoomed past her and brought a book back in her mouth, placing it on the floor in front of the unicorn.

Twilight: “Um, Pinkie? That’s a book on how to write good fanfiction. We won’t need it for this story.”

"Let me guess, it was under 'A'," Twilight said flatly as she

Author: Had just been run over by a steamroller.

began flipping through the book. "Uh, no. It was under 'X'! Everypony knows that age-reversal spells are under ‘X’, silly!" Pinkie giggled.

Applejack: Duh!
Twilight: Idiot…
Fluttershy: Wait, really?
Author: No, Fluttershy, we’re being sarcastic. C’mon, get your head in the game.

"Why would age reversal be under..." but before Twilight could finish, she found the page she was looking for. "...I don’t get it," Twilight said.

Applejack: I reckin’ we’re going to be saying that a lot throughout this story!

"Say Twilight, why do you want to reverse your age? Ooh, is it for a party?"

Author: A reverbirthday party?

said Pinkie as she started hopping up and down.

Twilight: I knew installing a trampoline as my floor would be worth it!

"NO! Uh, I mean...oh I just want to learn something new. Nothing special or anything.

Applejack: “I WAS going to learn a spell to tie my shoes, but looking back on that, the idea seems silly.”

Heh heh" the purple mare replied nervously, hoping the Earth Pony buys it.

Author: SOLD, to the pony in pink!

Pinkie looked at Twilight with an odd look on her face for almost a minute,

Twilight: 56 seconds, actually.
Author: While they’re busy staring, just wait a second… Fluttershy, you’re being awfully quite. That’s really… well, in character.
Flutttershy: I just don’t like the idea of making fun of other peoples work… Can’t we just sit quietly and read?
Applejack: We ain’t criticizing their work or anything, we’re just… Um… making snarky comments.
Author: C’mon Fluttershy, give it a try. We’ll shut up and leave the next comment to you.
Fluttershy: Okay…

before she shrugged. "Okey dokey lokey! I have to go help the Cakes anyway! Oooh, if the spell works can you do it on me?"
"Uh, I guess"

Fluttershy: That sentence doesn’t have a period!
(Pause)
Author: … Um, yeah, that is true.
Fluttershy: Oh, so did I do a “riff” right?
Twilight: Look Fluttershy… Pointing out grammatical errors isn’t really that funny.
Applejack: You gotta be more subtle, darlin’.
Fluttershy: Oh…
Author: Hey, it’s a start. Just keep working at it.

"Woo-Hoo!" And with that Pinkie Pie rushed out of the door in a blur.

Author: The new, 2012 Ford Blur.

"I'll never understand that girl," Twilight sighed to herself.

-------------------------------------------------------
Spike was out most of the afternoon shopping for a new set of quills and a jar of ink.

Applejack: All afternoon? It’s not like you’re lugging a bushel full of apples everywhere ya go!

He arrived at the door, holding a bag on one hand.

Twilight: On the other hand…

“Twilight said she has a surprise for me when I return. I wonder what she meant,” Spike said to himself as he opened the door.

Fluttershy: I think that just means she has a surprise for you.
Applejack: There we go! That was better!

His eyes went wide.

Author: For the catch, but unfortunately the ears intercepted the pass.

The library was a mess; piles of books Twilight set aside earlier that day was still there.
“Twilight! If this is your idea of a surprise, it’s not funny!” Spike yelled in frustration. Just as he said that he saw Twilight stick her head out from one of the piles and give him a raspberry.

Fluttershy: Well, I guess that was nice of her.

“...Twi? You...you look different,” Spike said in confusion.

Applejack: “Did you do something to your mane?”

Sure enough, Twilight was now a little filly, looking no different from the day she got her cutie mark at her entrance exam. Spike was shocked at first,

Author: Damn lightning.

but then gave a mischievous grin. “Hmmm, you’ve been a bad girl, haven’t you, Little Twi?”

Twilight: “It’s true! I used the incorrect type of parchment one time! I’m VERY naughty!

Little Twilight gave a big grin and nodded in affirmative.

Author: “Make it so, number 1!”

Spike continued “and we all know what we do to little ponies who misbehave, right?”

Fluttershy: Time-out chair?
Applejack: Disowned?
Twilight: It can’t POSSIBLY be creepy clop-fic sex, right?

The purple filly replied “You have to catch me first!”

Author: “You might say that that’s the “catch”!” Get it?
Applejack and Twilight: (Groan)
Fluttershy: I don’t get it.

and ran off to the kitchen. Spike immediately dropped the bag

Applejack: And all the ink bottles shattered into little pieces.

and went after Twilight. Even as a kid Twilight was never as fast as Rainbow Dash

Twilight: You’d think that’d be a given.

but she gave the dragon quite a chase.
Twilight entered the kitchen and looked for a good hiding space.

Author: Try the oven.

She spotted a table in the middle and ducked under. Spike rushed in with a determined look in his face, looking around. He suddenly heard a soft giggle from under the table. “Ah ha!” yelled Spike as he dove head-first

Applejack: Into the wall, knockin’ him unconscious, and ending the story early.

under the table. “I got’cha!” exclaimed Spike as he grabbed Twilight, but the tiny unicorn wasn’t about to give up.
She grabbed Spike by the shoulder and started wrestling him.

Author: Go for the pile-driver!

She was now on top of him. Spike then pushed her out of her way and onto her back, with the dragon now on top of her.
At this point they start wrestling each-other all throughout the kitchen. Outside, through the hallway, sounds of plates crashing to the floor, chairs being knocked over, and an cabinet full of table-wares being pushed to the floor filled the air before being replaced by deafening silence.

Fluttershy: What’s that supposed to mean?
Twilight: WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE IT’S SO SILENT!

After a brief moment, Spike steps out of the kitchen, huffing while he’s holding filly Twilight, giggling like a little girl she is.

Author: Oh boy, you know what time it is? It’s time to playing “Figure Out What the Hell Tense We’re in Now”! And keep your eyes peeled, because you’re going to be playing that a LOT in this story!

“Geez,” Spike muttered to himself. “You’re heavy even when you’re little.”

Applejack: If Spike muttered to himself, that means he’s callin’ himself fat, right?

Twilight glared at him. “Do you want to do this or not?” Twilight said, breaking character for a brief moment.

Twilight: I think she’s been breaking character for a LOT more than a moment!

“Okay okay! I’m sorry!” Spike said.
Spike carried filly Twilight upstairs to their bedroom.

Applejack: But she was so heavy, he pulled a muscle.

Once they reached to Twilight’s bed, Spike sat down with the unicorn on his lap.

Author: “Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas little filly?”

Spike looked at her. Twilight glanced up,

Twilight: And screamed because there was a spider on the ceiling!
Fluttershy, Author, and Applejack: AHH!

smiled, and gave an affirmative nod. Spike smiled back.
“Twilight, you’ve been a naughty filly,” Spike said.

Author: “It’s coal for you, this year!”

“Leaving all that mess for me to clean up. You know what that means, don’t ya’?”

Applejack: That Twilight’s lazy?

“Oh no, Spikey! Anything but that!”

Author: “Not the buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons!”

Twilight exclaimed in a hammy, over-dramatic fashion that just made Spike more excited.

Author: Poor acting always makes me excited, because then I can make fun of said bad actor.

“Trust me, little filly. This will hurt me more than it does to you.”

Twilight: “OW! You were wrong!”

Spike held Twilight down with his left hand and slowly raised his right arm in the air. He held it up for a second, took a deep breath, exhaled,

Fluttershy: Breathed again, took his blood pressure, measured his cholesterol levels…

then immediately swung it downwards, his palm slamming Twilight directly on her cutie mark.

Author: Okay! I think it’s time for a break!
Twilight: I need to ready myself for the oncoming awful…

---

Author: Well Fluttershy, you had a few good quips. Nothing outrageously funny, but hey, practice makes perfect.
Fluttershy: Oh, thanks, I guess…
Twilight: You know Applejack, considering this is your first time, you’re taking to riffing like a natural.
Applejack: What can I say? The story brings out the worst in me.
Author: Come to think of it, why have you ponies been able to riff anyway? I’ve watched quite a few episodes, and sarcasm is not exactly a common occurrence.
Twilight: Well, what in Ponyville do we have to be sarcastic about? Parasprites?
Fluttershy: This situation is… unprecedented.
Author: You’re telling me. Speaking of unprecedented, I remember there was this one time when a wart the size of a soocer ball was-
(buzzers go off)
Applejack: We got story sign!

---

“Eep!” Twilight yelped in pain. Spike looked at her worried, but the unicorn just smiled.

Author: I’m on the weird part of FimFiction again…

Spike took this as a hint to keep going, raised his arm up and spanked Twilight again.

Applejack: Hey, no hints! That’s cheatin’!

SMACK!
“Ooh! I’m...”
SMACK!
“...sorry...”
SMACK!

Twilight: “That I’m out of character!”

“...Spike!”
SMACK!
“I’ll...”
SMACK!
“...never...”
SMACK!
“...make a

Applejack: “Horrible story like this…”

mess...”
SMACK!
“...ever again!”
Spike continued spanking her. “Oh no! I’m not falling for that again!”

Author: Spike is too wise for your tricks!

SMACK!

Twilight: Eh. The first few times were interesting, but my interest waned at around smack number five.

“After I’m done with this I’m going to do...”

Fluttershy: “Some apologizing to the fandom.”

SMACK!
“...something that will make sure...”

Twilight: “That this tragedy never happens again!"

SMACK!
“that you’re going to behave from now on!”
Spike continued to spank Twilight for few minutes, although for these two it felt like hours.

Applejack: Trust me, it feels like hours for us, too.

Spike continued to give an evil grin while Twilight started drooling from pleasure.

Author: Just what I want my girlfriend to do, drool during naughty hour.

After a while Spike gave Twilight an extra hard spank, causing her to scream in ecstasy as tears escaped her eyes.

Twilight: “We’re free! Hurry to the hide-out!”

By now her flank is red from all the smacking the dragon gave her, but he’s not done yet.

Author: Ha ha, that Spike! What other hilarious hi-jinks is this pesky dragon up to?

“Move. Get on the bed, you delinquent,” Spike said in the best authoritative voice he could give.

Fluttershy: Considering I can sound more authoritative than him, that’s not saying much.

Twilight couldn’t help but giggle

Twilight: She was stricken with a severe case of laughitis.

as she did what he ordered, getting out of Spike’s lap as she walked to the middle of the bed, abet painfully from all the spanking Spike gave her.

Author: She actively encouraged the painfulness of the spankings?
Twilight: She’s assisting in the achievement of pain from the spanking?
Applejack: I think Dayland was planning to use a different word than abet…

“You’re going to learn who’s the boss of this house, miss,”

Fluttershy: Owilicious?

Spike said as he stood up. His erection is visible, having been hardened while Twilight was on her lap.

Fluttershy: (turns a shade of crimson) Oh my…
Author: First rule of MSTing, Fluttershy. Show no fear.

“Oh please don’t, Mr. Spike! I mustn’t! I shouldn’t!” Twilight yelled in melodramatic fashion, still smiling from the excitement. “You should’ve thought of that. Now get your mouth over here,”

Applejack: Twilight said all that?

Spike said, pointing to his throbbing boner.
Twilight walked over to his dragonhood

Author: Dragons in the hood, fo realz!

and placed it in her mouth, slowly sucking it.

Author: “How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?” (Applejack slaps him)

Spike spasms from sudden pleasure. “Ooh...yeah, this is what happens to little fillies who don’t do what the man tells them to do.”

Applejack: Well, I guess it’s a darn shame you’re not a man, then.

Spike fell on his back on the bed as Twilight continued to suck

Twilight: Period.

him. Spike’s breathing became deeper as Twilight started taking the whole thing in,

Author: The stupidity of the story, that is.

deep-throating him. Twilight’s sucking became more fast and frantic, making Spike exhale more and more. Finally, after few minutes Spike shot his load

Author: Boom, headshot!

directly into Twilight’s throat. The purple filly choked

Applejack: We are here today to mourn the passin’ of Twilight Sparkle, who died in a way that, for some reason, her family did not want to bring up.

for a while but began swallowing. “Oh yeah, you naughty filly. Swallow every little drop.”

Applejack: “You better clean that plate, or you ain’t gettin any dessert!”
Twilight: Ugh. That didn’t sound right…

Twilight gave one last suck, making sure she got the last drop. She pulled out, giving him a devilish look.

Author: She was really a succubus this entire time! I should’ve known!

“You know what, Twilight? Maybe I’ve been too hard on you.

Fluttershy: Literally. (Other three stare at her.) What? Was that not funny? (Other three burst out laughing.)

Why don’t you roll over so I can make it up to you?”

Author: Do a barrel roll!

“Oh no, Spike! Anything but that! I’m still a young virgin!” Twilight yelled in a despair that would rival Rarity’s.

Applejack: I believe this calls for a Rarity-off.

“Well, too bad. I’m going to return you a favor whether you like it or not. Now on your back!” Twilight laid on her back, spreading her hind legs apart. “Hmmm, if there’s one thing I love more than gems, it’s a taste of a deliciously young filly,” smirked Spike as he licked his lips.

Author: You know what? I think I’m going to need to prepare my brain-bleach bath soon.
Twilight: I’ve had it ready this entire time.

Spike stuck his tongue out

Fluttershy: Well that’s rude!

and slowly licked the outer lips of Twilight’s pussy. The unicorn began moaning from the sensation. Spike gave her clit a little nudge with his lips, making Twilight gasp.

Twilight: In realization that NO PONY asked for this story, yet it was made anyway!

Spike was licking Twilight outside her ponycunt

Author: You know, I don’t think ponies name their cunts “pony cunts”. I don’t go around saying human cunts, now, do I?
Applejack: Do you?
Author: No!

at first, but he eventually shoved his tongue inside her and began eating her out.

Author: I guess this would be called a “take-out meal”, am I right? (slapped by all three ponies)

Twilight decided to drop her little act for a little while and just let Spike do his thing, moaning ever so often.

Twilight: Who would’ve thought a dragon would under-perform during sex?

Once in a while Spike would get his tongue out and nibble on her outer vaginal walls lightly. This caught Twilight by surprise but she didn’t mind.

Applejack: After all, it was Spike’s money, so he called the shots.

At this point Twilight was wet from lubricant. Spike tasted the lubricant for a bit before he noticed that he was getting a boner again.

Author: Down boy!

Spike teased Twilight a little bit by licking the lips once more before he was fully erect.
“So, little Twilight. Who’s the boss of this side of the curb?” Spike asked with his arms on his side, showing Twilight his boner.

Twilight: “Rainbow Dash of course. What? What’s with the angry stare?”

“You are, Spike,” filly Twilight said, staring at his massive erection.

Author: This is a strong case of bile fascination.

“Right, and I’m going to make sure you won’t forget that. Turn around and bend over,” ordered Spike. Twilight got up on her legs and lifted her flanks ups. Spike grabbed her tail lightly

Applejack: YANK!
Twilight: “Ow!”

and moved it aside. Twilight was exposed to him, her pussy still wet from all the licking.

Fluttershy: That is kind of what happens when you lick something.

Spike didn’t bother to be gentle this time and just slammed his dick right inside her.

Author: There we go, straight to the point!

Spike is no stranger to making love to little fillies; his experience with the Cutie Mark Crusaders proves it.

Twilight: I smell a prequel right around the corner!

And Spike had sex with Twilight before, on the day they roleplayed after she found his diary.

Author: Spike was a paladin while she was a cleric.

But the sensation was nothing like before. For once, Spike felt powerful; he had control, even if temporarily, and he was intent on not wasting it.

Author: Whenever you’re done using your power, make sure to recycle the leftovers.

Spike took his dick out and immediately slammed it back in, a little deeper each time. Twilight squeaked in pleasure. She never realized this experience was overwhelming. Her minds started getting cloudy

Applejack: With a chance of some light showers in the evenin’.

and her eyes rolled back, drooling all over the bed.

Twilight: Spike? You better stop; I think she’s having a seizure.

Finally the filly had reached her limits; her pussy clenched Spike

Author: Strangling him to death.

as she started spilling juice all over the dragon’s lower body.

Author: A whole carton of orange juice, wasted!

Almost immediately after Spike shot his gooey seed inside Twilight, which spilled out of her and onto the bed.

Applejack: Based on ma farming expertise, I predict that that there seed is gonna grow into a nice, healthy tree!
Author: Yo dawg, I heard you like trees…

They both lied down on the bed, covered in sticky love juice from both parties,

Twilight: When did we switch to legal language?

breathing deep. It only took Spike few seconds to pass out. Little Twilight stood up, looked at Spike and giggled. “You boys are all the same. Have a good time and then promptly fall asleep afterwards.”

Fluttershy: He didn’t fall asleep, he passed out! Call a doctor, or something!

The purple filly kissed Spike on the cheek, jumped out of the bed and left the room, deciding to let her dragon companion rest for a while.

Applejack: Look out for that line!
All: Ahh! CRASH!

-------------------------------------------------------
“Spike? Time to wake up.”
“Zzzz...(snort) Whu-?”

Twilight: “I had the most horrible dream! I was in a horrible fan fiction with you, and… Oh wait. Shoot.”

Spike opened his eyes and focused. On the left side he saw Twilight, back to her fully-grown self.

Applejack: “On the right was the fandom, but they weren’t important.”

She was grinning at him.

Author: “Alright, what’d you slip me this time?”

“Had fun?” she asked.
“Oh yeah,” replied the purple dragon as he stood up and stretched. He took a light sniff at himself, then covered his nose. “Ugh. I should clean myself up.”

All: PLEASE DO.

“Well, I just got out of the shower. It’s yours.”

Fluttershy: “I mean, this is my house, so it’s mine, but it’s now yours, but not really… Oh, just take your shower!”

“Thanks, Twilight.” Spike jumped out of the bed and proceeded to walk to the bathroom, but stopped and turned, facing Twilight. “So, I guess you’ve been reading my diary again.”

Author: “I was going to try the “Agony in Pink” fantasy, but I didn’t have enough costume pieces.”

“What can I say? You have a very imaginative fantasy,” replied Twilight. Spike chuckled. “Well, when I’m living with somepony who can fulfill my dreams and desires, you’ve gotta go all the way.”

Twilight: Wait, so did I say all that?

“Oh yes. Unicorn magic definitely has some use,” Twilight mused herself.

Author: Please stop musing yourself.

“Anyway, I have to go to the Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie wants me to use that age-reversal spell on her.”

Applejack: I think ah detect a sequel!

“Huh,” Spike wondered. “I wonder what she’s planning with that?”

Author: Oh, that Pinkie Pie. She’s so random! What delightful and wacky time does she have in store?
-------------------------------------------------------
“Soon, dad.” Pinkamena said, her mane straight. “Soon, you will feel my wrath. For all those years of tomfoolery you put me through.”

Twilight: “And for trying to grow rocks. I mean, really?”

On the side of her darkened room is Pinkie’s father, looking at his daughter in horror while bound and gagged.

Fluttershy: I thought fathers were supposed to give unconditional love?

“You loved me when I was just a filly. Well, you’re going to see that little filly again. But guess what? This time I’m going to be the one in charge.” Pinkamena then proceeded to laugh maniacally as lightning strikes in the background.

Author: You might say the lightning was the real one in charge! Hah! (The other three ponies groan)

END

Author: OR IS IT?
Twilight: Yes it is, thank Celestia…
Fluttershy: Why does it feel like my eyes are burning from inside out?
Twilight: Don’t worry, that’s normal.
Author: It shows you’re sane.
Applejack: I think I’m gonna throw-up…
Author: Not here! I just got a new rug installed in the Author-lair!
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) That was funny! I think your faces turned green a few times!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Except Fluttershy! She was just turning red!
Fluttershy: (Blushing) That was, uh, anger! I was red with rage!
Applejack: C’mon, lay off the poor pony, she just suffered a traumatic experience!
Twilight: I hope we all get free rides to the psychiatric ward.
Author: Yeah, we’ll get cured, come back, and read ANOTHER blasted story!
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Hey, how bad could these stories be?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Yeah! You’re just being babies!
Twilight: Maybe you should try reading them sometime?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) As if!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) We’d never read this stuff.
Twilight: (Evil glint in eye) Oh, we’ll see… Press the button, Dash.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) I always have to do everything don’t I?
(Grumbling, she presses the button, and the TV blips out)

Next Chapter: Sweet Apple Massacre Estimated time remaining: 46 Hours, 18 Minutes