Mystery Pinkie Pie Theater 3000
Chapter 2: Parchments
Previous Chapter Next ChapterOkay bronies, I’ve got a good one today. This particular story is actually a pretty amusing gore fic. That is, if you’re like me and laugh at gory fics because of how over the top they are. If you’re looking for a decent gore story, I suggest you give it a read without the commentary sometime. Anyway, without further ado…
Author: Okay, how about this? Bloomberg…
Twilight: Interesting start.
Author: Is stolen…
Rarity: Not too bad.
Author: By ents…
Twilight: Umm…
Author: And the mane six have to get him back while fighting off orcs! What do you think?!
Rarity: That’s, well…
Twilight: This is your idea for a Lord of the Rings crossover? I don’t even know what that is, and I can still feel a need to shake my head in disappointment.
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) I think it’s a great idea! You know what’s also a neat idea?
(Doors swing shut and lock)
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Another MST!
Rarity: What?!
Author: I thought we weren’t going to do that again!
Rainbow Dash (From TV): We weren’t, but then a whole bunch of requests came in! We figured it was worth another go.
Twilight: What monsters would be cruel enough to make us read more fan fiction?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) The readers!
Author: NO! The brony community has betrayed me!
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) C’mon, silly filly! It’s not that bad! Just think of all the laughs you’ll be spreading!
Rarity: Yes, well I can assure you that WE won’t be laughing.
Twilight: So what’s the prank for today?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Dashie?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Today’s prank is a gore fest is called “Parchments”, involving Twilight and, you know, parchment. if you liked Cupcakes, you’re going to love this!
(Buzzer sounds)
Rarity, Twilight, and Author: We got story sign!
PARCHMENTS
All: Ahh!
Rarity: That title nearly gave me a heart attack!
Twilight: It certainly jumps out at you…
Author: Bolded and underlined. This fic is going to be epic!
By Ponyman and CandleEyes
Author: MY EYES! THEY BURN!
With help from:
Rarity: Sprinkles!
Twilight: Celestia, I hope not!
Psyentific and a Lam
Rarity: Lam, if you’d be a darling, I have a wool coat I want to make after we’re done here.
Twilight Sparkle paced the foyer of her library home as her mind tried to think
Author: But it wasn’t too successful.
of what to do about her current situation. She bit her lip
Twilight: “Ow!”
as she glanced over at the empty shelf where the blank scrolls were normally kept.
Author: At the moment it held Spike’s collection of Rarity beanie babies.
It was bad enough she was going to be late with her report to Celestia, but now she had nothing to write on as well.
Rarity: Of all the worst possible things this is the. WORST. Possible thing!
Spike had tried to get some more, but the scroll shop
Author: Hey, if there’s a quill and sofa shop, why not this?
wouldn't have anymore until Monday. It would be too late by then.
The unicorn felt her eye twitch involuntarily,
Twilight: “Eye, one more twitch without my permission and it’s off to bed without any supper!”
a nervous tic that appeared when she became overcome with worry. She could feel every strand of her mane stand on end, making her appear as if she had just rolled out of bed.
Rarity: And hit the floor with a thud.
Not that the bags under her eyes would help discredit that theory.
Rarity: Those lazy bags! They never help a pony with anything!
“I have to get this report to Princess Celestia before it's too late! She was lenient the first time,
Twilight: Ah yes, that first time when she stated specifically that I didn’t have to be on time? I remember that.
but I don't want to take advantage of her kindness! She might banish me to the Everfree forest!”
Author: Hey, with that moon cannon of Celestia’s, being banished to the Everfree forest should be the least of your worries!
Twilight pressed her hooves to her snout
Rarity: In an attempt to make ridiculous faces.
to stifle a loud gasp of horror that that thought brought. Once she was over it, she placed her hooves back onto the floor and sighed. “Wait a minute!
Twilight: “I can use something ELSE to write on! Story conflict averted!”
I have magic! Maybe I can make some parchment!”
Author: Gentleponies, we can make more. We have the technology.
Twilight closed her eyes and concentrated hard, her horn glowing. Nothing appeared.
Rarity: Not nothing! Anything but that!
Twilight: Approximately how much nothing appeared? You’ll need to be more specific.
Frowning, she figured that maybe
Rarity: She should just call it a day. The end. Can we go now?
there was a reason that the magical scrolls directed to the Princess herself couldn't be reproduced by normal means.
Author: Damn patent laws!
Didn't want any potential frauds starting any unneeded conflicts.
Twilight: The last time it happened, there were banishments everywhere!
Only those trusted by the royal house
Rarity: I don’t know why Twilight had any magic scrolls then.
Twilight: Hey! I’m very trustworthy!
Rarity: Settle down, it was just a joke!
were given the magical scrolls to relay messages and matters. Everypony else had to apply in person, or through a designated “middle pony.”
Author: Could you imagine the paperwork for this?
Twilight: Where do you go to apply? The Office of Magical Scroll Handling and other Minor Mystical Stationeries?
Rarity: I wonder how long it is before you need to renew your Magic Scroll License?
Her wandering eyes fell on the shelves of books.
Twilight: Quick! Catch them before they roll away!
Rarity: That’s worse than losing your glasses!
The books she confided in
Twilight: “I have a secret, book, and you have to PROMISE not to share it with anyone!”
whenever she needed advice. Her magic pulled one particular tome off the shelf,
Rarity: The Wonderful World of Parchment?
Twilight: Magic Scroll Politics, a Beginners Guide?
Author: Scrolls for Dummies?
and she opened it and flipped through the pages.
Ponies in the Middle Ages made parchments from animal hide....
Twilight: Ah yes, the Pony middle ages. Why do I not remember that?
Twilight wasn’t thinking straight by this point,
Rarity: She was thinking in a curvy line.
and the idea sounded too good to pass up.
“Spike, I’m going out!”
Author: “Twilight, are you going on a rampage concerning Celestia’s letters again?”
Twilight: “No Spike!”
Author: “Okay, just be back in time for supper!”
============================================================
Fluttershy was humming to herself quietly,
Rarity: WHAT!? I CAN’T HEAR YOU, DARLING!
feeding a carrot to her pet bunny, Angel. She was interrupted by a knock at her door,
Author: Followed by the FBI bursting in, on the hunt for a dangerous carrot smuggler.
and gave him an affectionate little pat on the head before going to answer it.
“H- hello?”
“Oh, hey Fluttershy. Can I come in?”
All: Don’t let her in!
“Oh! Sure you can, Twilight.”
All: Ohhh…
Fluttershy smiled. Her friends always made her feel so happy.
Author: Literally.
“So, why are you here?”
Twilight: “To kill you- I mean, make cupcakes.”
Rarity: After the last story, I’d say they mean the same thing!
“Well, see, I have to write a letter to Princess Celestia every week, right?”
Author: “Wrong.”
“Right.” The pegasus looked around uncomfortably.
Rarity: I’d be uncomfortable too if I was in a story like this.
Hopefully Twilight hadn’t gotten carried away
Twilight: By a dragon.
again...
“I- I do have something to write about, don’t worry. I just don’t have any parchment.”
“Do you... need some
Rarity: “Paper?”
Twilight: “Don’t talk nonsense, Fluttershy, you can’t write on paper!”
bits?”
“No... I have money. The problem is, the store is out of parchment, too.”
“Then I’m sorry, Twilight, but I don’t think there’s-”
Author: “A chance in the world of me making it out of this story alive.”
“Oh, but there is, Fluttershy.”
“Hm?”
Rarity: “Sorry, I was distracted by a shiny object for a second. What were you saying?”
Twilight walked over to a window and glanced out. The sun was setting
Twilight: The table.
and it would be dark soon. Perfect. She pulled a rag out of her saddlebags and tied it around her face.
Author: Oh boy, they’re going to play a game of Cowboys and Indians.
Then she procured a bottle of chloroform and opened it.
Author: I don’t remember playing it quite like that.
Rarity: Where’d she procure it from? The Chloroform shop?
“Um, Twilight? What are you-”
Author: (Rambo impression) “I’m your worst nightmare.”
The unicorn pounced and pinned her victim against the floor.
Author: 3, 2, 1, it’s over!
“We’re going to make some parchment together, Fluttershy.” She pressed the bottle up against her friend’s nose. Try as she might, she had to breathe eventually.
Twilight: She’d be fine if she just breathed through her mouth.
A haze washed over her and Fluttershy passed out.
Rarity: Pamphlets, advertising the opening of the new Plot Device shop.
============================================================
Author: Hey it looks like there’s a natural break in the story. And by that I mean a line.
Twilight: In that case, let’s take a break. I need time to come to terms with my apparent insanity.
Rarity: Twilight, I feel for you dear! I never realized that magic parchment was so hard to find!
Twilight: I never realized it either. I always assumed Spike’s breath was magic, and THAT’s what sent the scrolls.
Author: I guess he took a tic-tac or something, and can’t do it any longer.
Twilight: I suppose that makes sense.
Rarity: I actually tried applying for magic scroll usage. I had to wait HOURS in line, fill out a ton of paper work, and finally gave up when it turns out I filled out the pink sheets instead of the blue ones!
Twilight: What was wrong with that?
Rarity: The pink ones are for magic sticky notes, not parchment!
Author: Believe it or not, I used to have a license for magic scroll usage.
Twilight: How is that even possible?
Author: I got it revoked when they learned I was abusing my power in order to spread outdated Chuck Norris jokes. (Pause) And drawings of dicks. Not the proudest moment in my life…
(Buzzer sounds)
All: We got story sign!
Fluttershy awoke in a groggy daze.
Rarity: That’s because she fell asleep inside a groggy daze, as it were.
Her mouth was no longer gagged, but the faint smell of some chemical lingered in her nostrils.
Author: Geez, what’s she been sniffing lately? Fluttershy, you don’t have to fight the addiction alone. We’re here for you.
Once she was fully aware of her position,
Twilight: As vice-president.
she squirmed against the ropes that bound her hooves to the rock.
Author: Dwayne Johnson and Fluttershy join forces in; The Parchment.
She was on her stomach, her wings forcibly spread out so as not to hinder the process.
“Twilight, what’s going on?” the yellow pegasus cried,
Rarity: “And why am I tied to Tom? You know my heart belongs to Bloomberg!”
her eyes tearing up in fear.
Twilight: Can’t her eyes tear up any place else?
The lavender unicorn loomed over her helpless form, a wicked Cheshire smile on her face as her pupils had shrunk to mere dots.
Author: Hey, “mere dots”? That’s an insult to the entire dot race!
Twilight: Shapism!
Twilight's mane was a frazzled mess and hung in her bloodshot eyes.
Twilight: “I can’t see anything!”
“I need to write a report to Celestia....and I need parchments in order to do that....”
Rarity: “What about paper?”
Twilight: “No, that won’t work.
Rarity: “Chalkboard?”
Twilight: “It has to be magical!”
Rarity: “And my coat is?”
Twilight stammered,
Author: She should really get that checked out by her speech therapist.
her teeth chattering as she spoke.
Twilight: “Quiet down, teeth! How am I suppose to speak with you chattering away like that!?”
“What do you need me for?”
Rarity: “To go off and find more parchment for me. What did you think I was going to do?”
Fluttershy asked, hiding her face behind her mane as best she could.
Twilight: Impressive, considering she’s tied to a rock.
“Your flesh...
.
Author: Dramatic pause.
can be parchment....” Twilight explained,
Twilight: “The yellow will be a nice change of pace from boring white.”
Rarity: “And it’ll have a nice butterfly design to boot!”
raising her head to show she had a sharp scalpel in her teeth.
Author: “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?”
Before the helpless pegasus could object,
Author: HOLD IT!
a quick and frighteningly painless slice
Rarity: It was frightening because the painlessness made no sense.
of the blade took one of her wings away. Blood seeped from the wound and Fluttershy cried out when the pain finally registered.
Author: To vote, since the pain was a republican while she was a democrat.
With another drop of the blade,
Twilight: I’m certainly clumsy. Now I need to pick it up and try again.
the other wing was gone,
Author: “And for my next trick, I will make a whole bunch of readers’ lunches… Disappear!”
but this time Fluttershy knew it was coming, and another cry shredded out of her throat.
Author: “Dude, that was some totally wicked snow drifts in her throat!”
“Now that those are out of the way, I can begin. Hold still now...” Twilight explained, her voice broken,
Rarity: Fabulous… Now she needs to go to the Voice shop and get a new one!
unhinged. She was nothing like herself,
Twilight: Instead, she was more similar to someone else.
which terrified Fluttershy more than what was happening to her. The blade bit into Fluttershy’s flank,
Rarity: “This is delicious!”
and the pegasus tried to scream
Twilight: But forgot how.
again but found her voice had broken from the last time.
Rarity: Today’s a busy day for the Voice Shop!
All she could do was whimper silently,
Twilight: “Fluttershy, I can’t hear you whimpering, so I’m assuming you’re fine with what I’m doing.”
tears stinging her eyes,
Twilight: In terms of biology, tears are actually a distant cousin of hornets.
as the blade worked its way across her flank.
Author: “I can’t believe they’ve got me working overtime for this job…”
She could feel the burning start as skin was separated from muscle tissue,
Author: When two lovers are separated, a struggle of romance will ensue. Hallmark movies presents; “Skin and Muscle Tissue: A Love Story”.
and thick blood poured out of the ever growing gash.
Rarity: With just a little fertilizer, love, and care, you can get your gash to grow into a beautiful, festering wound!
Twilight was delicate in her work, ensuring only minimal tearing and damage.
Author: She earns a living as a taxidermist on the side.
After what felt like hours,
Twilight: But was really half a minute.
a good portion of flesh had been scraped away from Fluttershy’s flank, her cutie mark removed for obvious reasons,
Twilight: Of course.
Rarity: Obviously.
forcing Twilight to have to cut the rest in half to compensate for the hole. For a moment, she felt a knot in her gut
Twilight: From the rope she swallowed earlier.
when she looked at the weeping form on the rock.
Author: Oh cool, the rock has little pictures on it.
But her mind was too far gone
Twilight: “Mind! Get back here this instant!”
to fully register.
Author: For an account on FimFiction.
The damage had been done, and it was only humane to end her suffering.
Rarity: “This hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”
There was still more parchment to harvest.
Author: “I reckin dem parchment crop is gonna be mighty good dis year.”
Tossing what she had acquired so far into a nearby bucket of water and lime
Author: I think it’s about “lime” the story ended! Hah, you get it?! It’s like time but…
Rarity and Twilight: (Groan)
to remove any blood and the hair of her coat, Twilight sighed and prepared herself for the next round
.
Author: She’s going to go the distance.
The taste of blood still fresh on her lips, so forbidden, and so sweet.
Twilight: Yeah, well, wait until that blood coagulates.
“Twilight...please...you don’t have to do this....”
Twilight: “I suppose not, but, hey, at least we had fun with it!”
Fluttershy whimpered, her voice rough and broken.
Author: That’s what Fluttershy gets for using a 1992 Sweeyota Model Voice for too long without giving it proper maintenance.
“It’s too late now, Fluttershy. But I appreciate your help nonetheless.”
Rarity: “Thanks Twilight, that makes me feel SO much better!”
Twilight grinned her unsettling smile and proceeded to the other flank, being as careful as she had been before.
Author: “OW! Twilight, you missed!”
The pegasus winced in pain, slowly becoming numb to the assault on her nerves
Author: You might say Twilight was (puts on shades) getting on her nerves. YEEEAAA- (Twilight smacks Author in face)
as she felt more blood pour down her leg. Her teeth clenched together as she tried not to scream again, her throat on fire.
Twilight: “That’s what I get for drinking all that lighter fluid earlier!”
“I have to admit, Fluttershy, you skin is so soft.”
Rarity: Wait, her coat or her skin? Because in order to feel the skin, she’d need to… Ugh…
Twilight observed as she slowly peeled the slab of flesh away from the shiny muscle
Author: You know, shiny muscles only have a 1 in 8192 chance of appearing.
underneath. This time, she had decided to take more,
Rarity: How greedy!
and the slab continued its
Author: Emotional.
detachment across her flank and up her side.
“Twilight....please....”
Twilight: “Could you… try to… stay in character?”
“You’re making this harder than it has to be, Fluttershy!” Twilight snapped,
Rarity: I thought she already had!
sadness in her voice, but her twisted smile provided a
Author: Tony.
stark contrast. The unicorn’s mind was a mix of random emotions of both sadness and perverted desire.
Rarity: If you want to get the perfect mix of emotions, simply add a bit of sadness, a pinch desire, a teaspoon of perverseness, and mix thoroughly for forty seconds.
There was an odd thrill in Twilght’s heart
Twilight: Get that thrill out of there!
about this whole incident, and the adrenaline rush kept her going despite her second thoughts.
Author: If she has second thoughts than I guess Fluttershy has a “Half-Life”! (Rarity slaps Author)
It would be too cruel to end it now.
Twilight: The same does not apply to this story.
At least make sure she is at peace. It’s what Fluttershy would do.
Author: Okay, I have to admit, that’s some funny irony right there.
Putting the blade back to work,
Rarity: “I swear, the boss is always making me work these late shifts!”
Twilight began to cut away from the opening in Fluttershy’s side. The scalpel slipped a few times in her teeth,
Rarity: Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.
stabbing into the taught muscles
Twilight: These muscles had PhD’s.
that were left naked from the last process. Fluttershy’s hind leg kicked on instinct,
Author: And Twilight started bopping her head, because Instinct was her favorite song.
causing Twilight to jerk back in surprise.
“Sorry....” Twilight apologized.
Rarity: Manners! FINALLY!
She didn’t know WHY she apologized, but felt it right to do so anyway.
Twilight: At least I’m a polite killer.
“It’s okay Twilight.” Fluttershy replied, her voice a whisper.
Twilight: “What was that? Eh, it was probably nothing important to the story anyway.”
Is she accepting this now?! Twilight thought, her eyes wide in shock.
Rarity: “I mean, I’m the murderer, and even I don’t accept it!”
Fluttershy was the kindest pony,
Author: Fluttershy is the best pony.
even until the bitter end.
Rarity: Bitter end? I think it had a bit more of a tart flavor myself.
Twilight: A bit of a sour mix, I’d say.
Another piece of flesh tore away, but Fluttershy was now at peace with what was going on.
Author: The meditation classes really paid off!
It would all be over soon,
Rarity: I hope that statement applies to MORE than just this operation!
and her conscience was clear as she knew she helped a friend one last time. It was a twisted thought to be sure, but what else was there to do?
Twilight: Not have the twisted thought?
Author: Press the backspace key 7000 times?
After hours of painstaking work,
Twilight: What’s taking her so long?
the now lifeless corpse of Fluttershy lie before Twilight. The unicorn had left her peaceful face intact as a twisted way of memorializing her. She looked so peaceful in her eternal slumber, despite the fact the reset of her body was now bare muscle.
Author: Though the muscle looked to be fit enough to be “bear” muscle as well! (Both Rarity and Twilight slap Author)
Congealed blood pooled all around the rock and down Twilight’s face.
Twilight: It’s not like congealed blood is supposed to be a solid or anything.
The unicorn glanced around in terror when she realized she had heard a twig snap.
Author: Le gasp!
Rarity: That’s got to be the scariest thing that happened all story!
Her head spun around
Author: So quickly, that she took off like a helicopter.
to see Sweetie Belle emerging from a bush. A WITNESS!
Author: OBJECTION!
Twilight was horrified. A filly no less! I’ve probably scarred her for life!
Twilight: Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
“Hey Twilight. What are you doing?” the white unicorn asked, looking at the horrible site
Author: Oh no, she’s wandered into the porn section of the internet!
with a blank stare.
“Nothing...nothing....ummmm,
Author: Reboot the system, she’s frozen up again.
why?”
Rarity: “Well, because you’re kind of acting suspicious.”
Twilight: “And you look insane.”
Twilight’s smile twitched at the edges, her eyes wide.
“Well, Scootaloo was telling me about helping Pinkie with making cupcakes, so I thought that’s what you were doing.” Sweetie Belle replied. “Can I help?”
All: DON’T. REFERENCE. THAT. STORY.
The lavender unicorn’s smile widened even more, if that was even possible.
Twilight: Luckily, smiles have made a great breakthrough lately, and have been developed to accommodate twenty percent larger grins.
“Sure, you can help. I need a shovel...”
Author: I get it! They’re going to dig deep down and find a parchment mine! It’s brilliant!
============================================================
Dear Princess Celestia,
Twilight: “Remember when you told me last time about not rushing the letters? About that…”
Today I learned that the best friends are the ones who are always there for you in times of need, and who sacrifice themselves for you.
Author: It’s true. All of my best friends have been willing to let me cut out their hearts for my summoning rituals.
Those are the friends who trust you and who know you trust them, too. While it may be very tempting to try to do it all yourself, sometimes you need somepony to pull you through and remind you where you’re going.
Rarity: Don’t you just hate it when you go into a room and can’t remember what you went in for? That’s where friends come in.
It was such a friend that I came upon today, a friend whom I’ll always remember for her loving tenderness. She’s quite close by me as I write this,
Twilight: “But as you’re reading this, you’ll also get the pleasure of experiencing her company.”
and I couldn’t be any more grateful for her help.
Your faithful student,
Twilight
Rarity: Butcher.
Sparkle
P.S. My apologies for the late arrival of this letter. I had some difficulty finding parchment.
Author: O RLY?
Twilight: I’ve got to admit, even when it’s about murder, I write a pretty good friendship letter.
Twilight sighed as she teleported the letter to the Princess,
Twilight: Spike, you've been replaced.
hoping she didn’t notice the difference in scroll quality,
Rarity: This scroll was quite soft.
or any strange odors.
Author: No offense to Fluttershy, but she must’ve forgotten to take a shower that week.
The unicorn glanced over to Sweetie Belle, who stood with a blank stare on her face.
Twilight: She seems to have a blank expression on her face. A lot.
Rarity: That explains her cutie mark then.
Twilight: What cutie mark?
Rarity: Precisely!
“Sweetie Belle, I think we’re out of parchment again.” Twilight smiled.
Author: So, all the skin that Twilight took from Fluttershy amounted to only enough for one letter? That’s pretty inefficient.
The filly smiled as well, nodding her head eagerly.
Twilight: Well, that’s freaky.
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, haven’t I raised you NOT to look forward to skinning ponies alive?
Author: You must not be a very good sister. Anyway, we’re done.
Twilight: Not quite. We still have… the alternate ending.
Author: Buck.
He looked upon the scene with a detached grimace.
Rarity: I’m glad to see he’s so concerned.
It had been just minutes since he had discovered the body on his normal route through the woods.
Twilight: That’s a left, two rights, and a circle around the giant oak, then another left.
At first, he had thought it nothing more than some predators forgotten kill, but then he saw the strands of pink sticking to torn flesh.
Author: “It all makes sense! This pony, she was killed… by rabid cotton candy!”
As a pair of hoof steps broke the silence of the forest,
Rarity: Grand, NOW they need to get some more at the Silence shop!
Twilight: You think all these stores are grouped together in some market district?
he'd hid, watching as a purple unicorn returned with a little filly in tow
Author: The filly had broken down on the side of the highway.
, a shovel levitating before her.
He had watched as she dug the hole methodically,
Rarity: They measured each scoop, I suppose.
her perverse smile never wavering.
In a matter of minutes the corpse was in the ground, the filly setting about covering up any sign of disturbed earth
Twilight: “First we plant the seeds… There! All we need to do is wait until grass grows on this spot and we’ll be in the clear!
before the pair left as quickly as they had come.
Author: Perverse nature indeed…
Now he stared at the spot where the body had been, grimace
Author: Turned to Ronald MacDonald and gave a sad shake of his head.
turning to a look of determination.
The little rabbit growled.
Author: WHAT A TWIST!
Twilight Sparkle would die.
Author: Quentin Tarantino presents; “Kill Twil; Vol. 1”.
Rarity: How come you got all the final lines?
Author: Because I know pop culture references, and you don’t.
Twilight: Hey, we ponies have our own references. Just nothing the audience would understand.
Rarity: Ever hear of Equestria superstar singer Sunlight Ray?
Author: No.
Rarity: Exactly. And that’s why we don’t make pop culture references.
Twilight: We should show him HumanChan sometime.
Rarity: Oh, bleh! That place is horrendous! Whoever has an interest in that ghastly “My Little Human” show is a humany, no if’s, and’s, or butt’s!
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Hey, I love HumanChan!
Twilight: Why am I not surprised?
Author: As much as I love hearing about your exciting lives, I’d really like to leave.
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Oh, you’re no fun! Press the button, Dashie!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Why do I have to do everything? You’re ordering me around like you’re a deranged scientist and I’m your assistant.
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) You mean that’s not what we’re doing?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) … Ah, screw it, I’ll push the button.
(Rainbow pushes button, and the TV screen goes out with a blip)