Pegasisters and gentle bronies, I giveth unto thee... an MPPT! You know what's been missing lately? Extremely graphic gore/clop. Today's story remedies that. Alright, so it isn't insanely graphic. Just basic clop stuff, so if that makes you feel uncomfortable, you definitely don't want to read the un-riffed version here. Looking at the story itself, I found that it was actually pretty sweet. Not awesome sweet, but daaw sweet. There were a couple of Pinkie Pie moments that actually made me go DAAW, which I shall provide props to the writer for. Actually, I was kind of enjoying the story. Everything was going okay, but then... Then the clop started. And I'll let you guys judge the rest. Enjoy!

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Author: I need an idea for a story.
Twilight: What else is new?
Author: And you know what? I'm always proposing ideas.
Rarity: If you could refer to those strange utterances that leave your mouth "ideas", then yes, I suppose that's true.
Author: Why don't you guys suggest something? After all, if you're always so annoyed at the stories we riff, than SURELY you can come up with something better.
Twilight: Easy. How about this; me the others and myself all go to one of Pinkie Pie's parties and have a good time. The end.
Author: Um... Where's the conflict?
Rarity: If you had the choice of whether or not to create conflict in your life, would you do it?
Author: Point.
(Doors swing shut and locked.)
Author: Speaking of story related conflict...
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Hey! My favorite riffers! How you doin' today?!
Twilight: Oh no. It's Pinkie. What a shock.
Rarity: Pray tell, what insufferable piece of trash must we wallow in today?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Okay, your prank is called "A date with a pink pony", and it's all about some unnamed OC and Pinkie Pie getting it on. And that's about it.
Twilight: Is it sad that I'm looking forward to today's story, just because it doesn't star me?
Rarity: I don't think looking forward is the right phrasing...
Twilight: Okay, how about, "dreading it less?"
(Buzzer sounds)
All: We've got story sign!

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Picnic of Two

Rarity: My apologies, it seems I've wandered into a different story.

=============
It's autumn, and the leaves are starting to go a crisp golden brown,

Author: Autumn sounds a lot like a breakfast cereal.

indicating that it's almost time to knock them down and begin the yearly cycle of nature once more - but that's not for a week or so yet.

Twilight: Which is why we were told about this pressing news.

The event, though, was in my mind, due to the pink pony presiding over it.

Rarity: Nothing like a good old Knock-Leaves-Down Party.

She'd been making plans for weeks prior, from talking Twilight into letting her borrow the balloon again (After Pinkie-Pie-Swearing she wouldn't bring it back filled with cake crumbs like last time)

Author: I won't ask.

to laboring over her script for hours on end. Most people think she makes it up on the spot, and most of the time she does, but she takes her announcing seriously.

Twilight: I'm sure she isn't nearly as hardcore as Spike.

She made me swear not to tell anyone before she told me - just thinking back to that day forced a smile to my face,

Author: "The day was holding a gun to my head."

remembering her whispering me over across the counter of Sugarcube Corner and into her bedroom, before closing the door and checking the windows to make sure nopony was looking in, and making me promise not to tell a soul.

Twilight: "Okay. I'll just tell ponies then."

When I asked about what, she wouldn't tell me - it was a secret. Of course it was. After I agreed, she pulled out a thick volume and set it down in front of me, paging through it with her nose until she reached this year's chapter, and asked me what I thought.

Rarity: "Well, I think about many things, like why it's called a hacksaw when it doesn't- Oh! You mean about the contents of the book!"

They were a mix of brilliant puns for unlikely events

Author: For funerals or wakes; "Geez, is it dead in here, or is it just that guy in the coffin?"

(Though knowing Pinkie, there's more it than that)

Twilight: And more that than those.

and some natural banter between her and her co-host, Spike. It was brilliant, and I told her so,

Author: This story has made me realize that I'm a liar.

and the grin on her face became larger than I ever thought physically possible.

Rarity: The smile was so big, that the corners touched each other at the back of her head.

That's something Pinkie always managed - to smile so wide it couldn't help but become contagious.

Author: "Contagion: Nothing Spreads Like Smiles".

That was one of, if not the, reason I agreed to meet her over her lunch hour. Rarity could be difficult, depending on stress, or just getting up on the wrong side of the bed.

Twilight: What? When did we start talking about Rarity?
Author: Right now, apparently.
Rarity: And I'm NOT difficult. ...I'm just a bit fussy.

Applejack is always fun, but only if she has free time. Lyra and Bon-bon (For they're almost never seen apart) are almost always good for a laugh, but it's hard to escape the feeling of being a third wheel.

Author: If life was a tricycle, he'd be the front wheel that was far away from the two back wheels.

Roseluck can be fun, but say one wrong word and she's as likely to be hiding in her house as she is running in panic.

Author: Of all the characters to pick... Roseluck? Seriously? Why not Fluttershy?

Not Pinkie, though - Pinkie Pie is always great, and I always looked forward to visits to Sugarcube Corner, because no matter how busy she was, she'd always make time to have a conversation,

Twilight: "Granted, the conversation had the same intellectual depth as a kiddie pool..."

and she'd always have a big, goofy grin on her face, like all her Christmases came at once. Every time. Something about that energy always

Rarity: Creeped me out.

appealed to me, that childlike happiness that wasn't tempered by reality, or corrupted by cynicism, as mine had been so many years ago.

Author: I get it. This is "Rorschach in Equestria" one-hundred chapters in.

In her company, though, the problems of the world suddenly seem so much further away.

Twilight: A good twenty meters or so.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice the pink smudge rushing towards me until it was too late, and she'd knocked me to the floor, unable to stop herself until it was too late.

Rarity: I'm getting the impression that it was too late.

"Hi", she beamed, smiling that innocent smile, with those wide, hopeful eyes, "Come on, I've got the picnic set up in the park!"

Author: Ponyville has a park?

Then she was gone, just a blur heading for Ponyville's largest park.

Author: My bad, it seems Ponyville has SEVERAL parks.

I never was sure how she did it, but she can go fast enough to make Rainbow Dash jealous at times. Certainly more than fast enough to well outpace me. A brisk walk though Ponyville brought me to the park quickly enough, though - the architecture that normally fascinated me so seeming far less important.

Twilight: Oh, you mean the architecture that you see everyday doesn't fascinate you? I wonder why.

Issues of why a pony would design something that worked so well with hands taking a back seat to catching up with Her.

Rarity: "Hands"? What is this mysterious thing you speak of?

Clambering onto the top of the small hill, slightly puffing,

Author: "Nothing like a good smoke before clop."

as the brisk jog through Ponyville is more exercise than I normally went for, I found Pinkie sitting on the edge of the chequered blanket, a large basket lying in the center. Behind her was a tree, one of the larger ones in the town (Though nowhere near the largest - Twilight's house),

All: I hope not!
Author: You'd think if there was a tree that big I'd have noticed in the how's intro.

casting a short shadow down over the blanket. As I sat down on the other side, she poked the basket open with a hoof, and smiled as the balloons within flew out and came to a comfortable hover over the basket.

Rarity: And then the basket floated away. Can we go now?

Oh, Pinkie. I give her a laugh anyway, it was certainly unexpected.

Twilight: It's not as though she has balloons as her cutie mark.

What else is unexpected is that instead of her usual wider grin, and a bounce in her step, she blushed, before hiding it by burying her head in the basket

Author: In an attempt to do her ostrich impression.

and retrieving the various baked goods she'd brought along for the trip.

Author: "Let's see, I brought some Australian Meat Pie, some Nigau Sei..."

Luckily for Pinkie, the cakes, buns, biscuits, and treats were delicious enough to take my mind off of her for a moment as I watched her set them out onto various plates. All in all, there was far more inside that basket than there should be,

Rarity: Physics? And Pinkie Pie? Don't make me laugh.

especially given how she managed to fit her entire head in earlier. I chalked it up to Pinkie being Pinkie, something it took me months of knowing her to get used to.

Twilight: Tell me about it...

Twilight told me a similar story - Pinkie and the scientifically minded don't really mix until we can learn that she's a bit special, and luckily, I found her fascinating to watch,

Author: Well, things have just become weird, and are beginning to take a sharp decline.

whether it be seeing her jump around town, or watching any number of her body parts wiggle. Both with and without her knowing, watching her was always an acceptable substitute for doing other things.

Twilight: Like working.
Rarity: Or enjoying life.
Author: Or breathing.

However, this time, she wouldn't make do with silent watching - she only has an hour for her lunch (Not that it's enforced, or that the Cakes really care, but she hated the idea of taking advantage of the ponies who'd been so dear to her)

Rarity: And let her set up torture equipment in her basement.
Twilight: Wrong story.

- and instead had a plan. A Pinkie-plan, complete with notes and a script, one she hadn't gotten me to look over. Sitting down, a wall of cakes between me and her,

Author: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

she cleared her throat and began to read. "I really kinda super like you like a friend but more than a friend well I'd like to be more than a friend but it's okay if you don't and I baked all these for you or for us if you want and I wrote a script!

Twilight: Your script needs more punctuation.

But this has to come from the heart and I can't do that from a script so...", she takes a breath as she shows me the blank sheets of paper, "I really super duper like you, kinda like Mrs. Cake super likes Mr. Cake... do you like me like Mrs. Cake?",

Rarity: "I... I don't know, how does Mrs. Cake like you?"

she burst out with, before looking at me with the widest, most hopeful eyes I'd ever seen from her.

Twilight: "This included the time she really wanted me to do an MPPT."

Thinking over her words in a stunned silence, she begins to make a little more sense.

Author: That's not saying much.

The way her smile always grew as I walked into the room - I'd always wondered how she managed to do that for everybody without actually breaking her face,

Rarity: Well, it's not like she's hitting her face with a hammer every time she smiles.

and now I know. It's not everybody. The way she'd always make time for a conversation - how could she get any work done if she was being interrupted for half an hour every 5 minutes? It's not everybody. It's just me. Why was I allowed to see her scripts? I know that one too, now.

Twilight: Because you're a Marty Stu, right?

Similarly, I started to make a bit more sense.

Author: That's also not saying much.

She wasn't fascinating, she was beautiful. And fascinating.

All: Make up your mind!

And a lot of other things besides. It wasn't just that her smile was infectious, her happiness in general always rubbed off on me, far more-so than it does on most others. She reminds me of me, back when I was young, when I could look at a flower on the ground and think of how pretty it was, not the cruelty of nature that allows it to prosper. I still can't,

Author: You know, I have a number for a good psychiatrist.

but I can look at Pinkie while she does, and I see no cruelty there. No malice, no ill intent, no self-centered egotism or ulterior motives. Just Pinkie Pie. She's beautiful, in mind, and in body, and I'd be her Mr. Cake any day. Of course, the moment I opened my mouth to tell her, she already knew.

Twilight: When her ears wiggle, lungs fill up, and her tail jiggles, that means the narrator of the story wants to be her Mr. Cake.

"Pinkie, I-unf" is all that escaped my mouth as she quickly pounced over the berliner wall,

Rarity: Someone's been hitting the thesaurus.
Author: Or Wikipedia. Am I supposed to believe that the only thing Pinkie Pie brought was German pastries?

hitting me like a cotton candy freight train

Twilight: So she bounced right off?

and knocking the air out of my lungs as I hit the ground, with her lying on top of me, her forelegs wrapped around my neck and her mouth kissing me.

Rarity: Thank you for specifying what body part was kissing the narrator.

As soon as I'd noticed that, I started to return it, meeting her tongue halfway and tasting her flavours - a mix of saliva, sugar, frosting, and sweets. Kinda delicious.

Twilight: Sounds more like she should brush her teeth.

Unfortunately, I needed air,

Rarity: Don't you hate it when that happens?

I didn't want to black out and ruin her picnic, so I had to push her off and start to gasp for breath.

"What's wro- oh, whoopsie, sorry!", she said with honest apology in her voice,

Author: "I choke people sometimes. Sorry!"

which I tried to wave off with my hand, but her smile drooped anyway. "I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm sorry ponies are harder to hurt but I should have known I'd never hurt you I swear, cross my hooves and hope to-",

Twilight: Wait... The narrator's a HUMAN?

she monologues without pause until my hand found the nearest treat and jammed it in her mouth.

Author: Thank you! I've been wanting to do that all story,,, And wait,did you say human?
Rarity: Stop everything! This just became weird! Scratch that, I mean weirder!

---

Twilight: She said that ponies were harder to hurt... That means he's not a pony.
Rarity: And what other creature besides a human has fingers?
Author: Once again, I seem to be in the odd section of FimFiction...
Twilight: But why in Equestria is a human, well, in Equestria?
Rarity: You'd think the writer would have mentioned that point earlier.
Author: You know what? A human being in Equestria is fine. I'm cool with that. And a member of the mane six having sexual relations with an OC human? I'm fine with that as well. But at the very least, the writer could've given us a bit of background! Why the HELL is there a human in Equestria?!
Twilight: If the writer doesn't have a background, maybe we can make our own?
Rarity: Why not? I'll start! Once upon a time, there was some human named Jelly Bean.
Author: Um... Maybe I'll come up with a name. His name is... Jerry.
Twilight: Jerry was a professional carpenter, when suddenly one day his, uh...
Rarity: His magic dresser! It created a portal and sucked him in!
Author: Why does he have a magic dresser?
Rarity: He used magic wood, of course.
Author: Of course...
Twilight: The portal led to Equestria, where he was captured and put in a zoo, before running away and securing a job as town mascot.
Author: Beautiful. This story really touches my heart.
(Buzzer sounds)
All: We've got story sign!

---

Sweet silence, followed by a curious sensation on my fingertips as she quickly chews through the treat and starts to nibble on my fingers,

Twilight: Before biting them off entirely.

licking off the crumbs and frosting that'd fallen onto them, with a grin on her face and a mean look in her eyes.

I got the idea, and with a similar grin, grabbed Pinkie with one hand, and the nearest plate with another.

Author: Oh Celestia... This is going to build up to some weird fetish involving plates and ponies, isn't it?

She squealed an excited "Woo!" as I pulled her to my chest, flipping her around so that my arm was under her forelegs as she rested on top of me, her head falling on my chest. My other hand busied itself in finding the stickiest, most frosting filled bun there, as I grabbed it in my palm and forced it into Pinkie's mouth, her muffled moan of approval somehow an even more appealing sound than her previous giggles.

Author: I have no clue what's going on, and I have a feeling I'm never going to.

Again, she got through the delicious confectionery in no time, but this time she took more care on the hand, running her tongue down each finger in turn, flicking it in between them and round them to gather everything present, before cleaning the palm in a single, long, slow lick. Then she giggled again, the sound still music to my ears

Rarity: Classical jazz, to be precise.

- but no substitute for an untempered moan.

Twilight: Grunting, groaning, panting, etc., were all exceptable substitutes.

The now tried and tested method of feeding her didn't fail to produce it again, either,

Author: The scientific method at work.

her body relaxing into my arms as she closed her eyes and began to chew, only getting halfway through before I'd brought another cupcake to bear, and pushed it at her,

Twilight: "Eat the damn cupcake!"

prompting an even louder moan, and a slower chew, while her tail began to flick back and forth across my legs, tickling them as she wriggled in my arm. Another cupcake, and then another, always making sure to keep her mouth full,

Rarity: I can just picture this story's sequel; "A diet with a pink pony".

Pinkie clearly enjoying it as she shivered in joy at the sensation of my hand at her mouth, the feeling of her body on my skin, unfortunately tempered by my clothes, was unreasonably... sensational, prompting an immense pressure in my pants to grow.

Author: Get that pressurizer out of your pants!

Pinkie, of course, didn't notice a thing, her worldview having collapsed to include nothing but me, her, and cupcakes.

Twilight: That sounds as though it should have some deep meaning.

At least, it did until the plate was empty and there was nothing left for me to feed her, and with her lying on top of me, I was in no position to reach anything else, so I raised my cupcaking arm

Rarity: I may have to consult the dictionary on that word.

up and completed my hug, holding her close while she finished off her snacks.

After her final swallow, she let loose a sigh - the only time I'd ever heard that from her - and wriggled around to hug me back, but got distracted halfway by the food remaining out of my reach.

Author: "As much as I'd love to make out with you, Pinkie Pie, I'd rather have something to eat."

Upon seeing it, she gained a devious grin, and pulled herself free of my embrace to grab the plate and bring it over - clearly she wanted more feeding. "Just hold still", I told her, "I'll do thi-"

Just as I'd shut her up, she shut me up, taking a frosted good in her mouth, and jumping forward to push it down into mine, her less precise tools

Rarity: "Not everypony has a cupcaking arm as good as mine."

resulting in her getting frosting all over her face. I got the picture, we'd switched places, so after finishing, which took me much longer than it took her, I grabbed her head in my hands,

Twilight: And it popped like a water balloon!

and pulled her forward to give her a big, wet lick, scraping the sugary goodness straight off of her furry surface,

Rarity: My bad. This isn't a human, just an anthropomorphic Winona.

the gigglesnort only inspiring me to lick ever harder,

Author: Really? Because it inspires me to get Pinkie to meet with her doctor. That gigglesnort makes me think she has sinus problems.

having to make a downward pass to

Author: The running-back.

un-ruffle her hairs and catch the last remaining frosting. Being fed cupcakes didn't get me any closer to hearing Pinkie's voice, though, and while I was hungry, it wasn't for food, so I

Rarity: Ate Pinkie. The end.

used her disarmed stance to quickly pull her to my mouth for another kiss, this one far more energetic and passionate, and catching Pinkie unaware as she gasped into my mouth before returning the action.

Twilight: I wonder what it feels like to have somepony gasp into your mouth.

Just a gasp is not enough, though - my realization that I loved her - I wanted to shout it from the rooftops,

Author: "But I didn't have a ladder."

if there were any to shout it from - brought with it a desire to make her shout in pleasure.

Twilight: Sounds logical.

Seemed like as good a target as any, so I rolled over

Author: The side of a cliff.

, taking her with me, until she was pinned on the ground beneath me, unable to move partially due to being stuffed full of cupcakes, and partially due to my weight pressing down on her. Pulling away from my mouth, I began to kiss her neck, slowly moving down her body as her giggles turned to light moans as my lips brushed against her skin,

Rarity: Pinkie Pie must've had a shave, recently, because the last time I saw her she had a full coat of hair.

moving down across her belly as she shivered beneath me.

Author: I guess he has a "cold" personality, eh? (pause) Well? Aren't you going to slap me?
Twilight: That was so bad, it's not even worth my time.

Further down still, navigating my head between her pert breasts,

Rarity: I don't know what pert means, and right now I'm glad I don't.
Twilight: I do...
Author: SHE HAS BREASTS?!

getting closer and closer to my main target in the mission to make her scream.

Twilight: I suppose it's always good to have a goal in life.

Which she came close to as I plunged my tongue into the slit in her body -

Rarity: Her ear?
Author: Her eyelid?
Twilight: Her nostril?

its pinkness almost invisible against her regular pinkness, and its taste a sweet cotton candy - as she bit her lip just a moment too late to avoid a loud, instinctual gasp. Not enough, she was still resisting,

Author: "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."

which only prompted me to dig deeper, running my tongue from the bottom of her folds to the top, as her sweet liquids started to seep through her coat,

Twilight: The mink is ruined!

making its location far more obvious, and my job even easier,

Rarity: What, did he keep getting lost?

as my tongue found her clitoris and her self-muffled moans became audible, and stayed that way. Deciding to take that as my cue to keep going, I started to massage her flanks with my hands, rubbing over her cutie marks, feeling her silky fur under my fingertips and her warm skin just through it.

Author: If you rub those balloons enough, you can stick Pinkie Pie to the ceiling.

Growing impatient with my progress, her light moaning remaining at a constant low level, I raised my head out of the way and brought a hand up to her, working two fingers in, and, emboldened by the startled, high pitched gasp, attempted a third, her juices providing more than enough lubrication for the task as I began to work in and out,

Twilight: Is it me, or does sex sound a lot like like work and less like a good time?

Pinkie's lip becoming unbitten as she began to moan unrestricted, her adorable noises timed to the thrusts of my hand as I held a steady rhythm in and out,

Author: It was too the rhythm of "Highway to Hell".

cupping one of breasts with my other hand and massaging it, using her own liquids to reduce friction and heighten her pleasure

Twilight: The science of sex.

as her moans translated into gasps and pants as she struggled to vocalize a short command: "S- ah! N...nngngggg, ah, oh!

Rarity: Dearie, I think you need to get your hooves on a better translator.

STOP!"

So I did, as she lay there panting, the effort of a single word pushing her to her limits, until she rolled over

Author: Do a Pinkie roll!

and struggled to her hooves, her tail holding itself up out of the way, her arousal overriding many of her conscious decisions as she jumped at the bulge in my trousers,

Author: "OW!"

struggling with the zipper as she pulled at it, only stopping when she noticed my willing hands begin to open them in front of her, my erection bouncing out towards her

Author: I guess you could say my pants had a couple of "bouncy balls" in them! (Pummeled to death by Rarity and Twilight)

as I remove my underwear, her mouth shifting into an "ooh" of curiosity as her eyes light up,

Rarity: "I've never seen one of THOSE before!"

her lust-addled mind fixed on her pleasure, and her selfless personality means that included mine, too. I already knew what her tongue could do,

Twilight: Lick things?
Author: Help her form words?
Rarity: I thought you died?
Author: I got better.

but nothing could have prepared me for the sensation of her wrapping her mouth around my penis, her tongue rubbing over the entire surface at once, taking all of my willpower to not ejaculate there and then, as her wet, warm, slippery tongue ran up and down my length.

Author: Is that a meter stick in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? (Rarity and Twilight kick him to death.)

Hearing my increasingly sharp gasps, Pinkie pulls her head away, a few thin strings of saliva and precum arcing between the tip and her mouth,

Rarity: Just think, enough string and I'll be able to make a gorgeous sweater.

before they break into nothingness as she twists her body around, bending her forehooves to rest the front of her body on the ground and raise her hindquarters into the air, wiggling her behind invitingly as her tail twitches upwards,

Author: "C'mon in, the door's open!"
Rarity: If you keep it up, we're going to have to kill you again.
Author: You can't kill me! I'm Au-Thor, the Ever-Living!

revealing herself with ever more enthusasm. Not needing to be asked, I quickly guided myself in,

Author: The landing lights helped.

gripping her flanks with my hands, and starting to thrust, slowly at first, but - prompted by her rhythmical moaning

Author: To the tune of Michael Jackson's "Beat It".

- speeding up until I kept a steady pattern, punctuated by the squelch of skin on soaked through fur, followed shortly by a shout, her inhibitions leaving her

Twilight: It was time for them to set out on their own.

as she started to moan and scream into the dirt, the ground muffling her high pitched, adorable yelps of pleasure.

Rarity: She's doing her ostrich impression again.
Twilight: She's getting to be quite good at that.

Confident in my grip, I reached forward and grabbed her mane, pulling her head off

Twilight: Period.

the ground, and revealing her full volume, as her body began to quake, starting at her upper body and working its way down until, with a scream that left the birds fleeing the trees in terror,

Rarity: And the readers fleeing from their computers in horror.

she came, the contractions on my penis quickly bringing me down with her as our legs gave way at the same time, our joint ecstasy lasting what seemed to be minutes, as I lay there on top of her, all I could feel was pink,

Author: I'd see a doctor about that.

all I could hear was her deep, happy breaths, and all I could think about was... sweet nothings.

Twilight: I assumed that's what you were thinking this entire story, minus the sweet.

Eventually, at some point later, I drifted back into consciousness to find Pinkie smiling up at me. Seeing her at her most animalistic hadn't made her any less beautiful, and the wide, true smile on her face relayed the same message back to me.

Rarity: "You've got something in your teeth."

Looking around, I found Pinkie was lying against the tree - I couldn't remember whether we'd ended up there in the throws of passion, or wondering if Pinkie had dragged us there while I wasn't paying attention.

Author: I'm getting the impression that more was in those cupcakes other than sugar...

Either way, she looked quite comfortable, and I couldn't help but join her, swinging my tired body round to lie next to her, before she snuggled up, resting her head on my chest and wrapping her tail around my legs.

Rarity: And then Cheerilee and all the fillies from school arrived for their school trip.

I suddenly remembered that she was on lunch, and should probably be getting back, but as if she could read my mind (Well, it is Pinkie), she whispered "I told the Cakes you'd say yes, we have the rest of the day all to ourselves",

Twilight: Since they fired me.

and nuzzled closer to my neck, getting more comfortable, before she closed her eyes and her breathing started to slow, her tight hug growing weaker as she drifted off to sleep, the wide grin on her face shrinking to nothing more than a happy smile. Shortly after that, I followed her, though I'm sure any onlooker would agree - she was by far the most adorable of us.

Author: And then proceed to call the police because of the indecency laws being broken. Dear Celestia, I need a drink...

---

Twilight: You know, we never did learn who this strange human was.
Rarity: I thought we decided he was a carpenter named Jerry?
Author: Even so, I'd still like to know the real reason behind this Dr. Who-like occurrence.
Twilight: Doctor who?
Author: Exactly!
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) I met Dr. Who once! He was funny?
Rarity: Doctor who?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) Exactly! We saved the entire universe once!
Author: Somehow I find that entirely plausible. Was it the daleks again?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) No, we actually needed to team up with them to get some help.
Rarity: I have no clue what either of you are talking about.
Author: Well, the-
Rarity: Nor do I wish to know what you're talking about!
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) How did we even get talking about this?
Pinkie Pie: (From TV) I think it started when Rarity mentioned a carpenter named Jerry.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) ... Forget it, I'm just gonna press the button.
(Rainbow Dash presses the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Next Chapter: The Expedition to the Everfree Forest Estimated time remaining: 39 Hours, 39 Minutes