“A pox upon both your houses!”

Applejack just rolled her eyes as she dragged Twilight along the ground, the unicorn tied up with her lasso. They were earning a lot of stares from the ponies around them, but they were ignored. “Sugarcube, you need to be part of this talk more than any of the rest of us.”

“Especially after your little outburst last night,” Rarity said, walking alongside the cowpony. Her horn was glowing, actively counteracting any spells Twilight tried to cast to escape. “You have a lot of pent up frustration about your sexual identity, and you can’t just avoid us forever.”

“Yes I can, if you would just let me go!” the librarian growled before trying to gnaw her own leg off. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for her leg, her herbivorous teeth couldn’t even break the skin.

“Not happenin’,” Applejack said. “We’re worried about what havin’ a crush on, well, everypony in our group has done to your noggin.”

“And it’s not just going to go away on its own,” Rarity added. “We need to talk this out.”

“Like buck we do!” Twilight swore.

Rarity huffed. “I never expected such coarse language from your mouth, Twilight. Honestly, you’re overreacting.”

“You have me hogtied and are dragging me like a sack of potatoes!” she spat back.

“Only after ya tried to hide under your bed from us like the Slendermane was after ya,” Applejack reminded.

“That is not something that a mentally stable pony does,” Rarity said. “You need to talk to somepony, and Ponyville doesn’t have a therapist so it’s going to have to be us.”

“I don’t need a therapist!” Twilight wailed. “I’m not crazy, you’re crazy! Everypony in this town is crazy!” The increased amount of stares they were getting, even a perturbed look from Screwball, did not help her case.

The smirk of a Bond villain spread across Applejack’s lips. “Sugarcube, you’re hogtied and getting dragged behind us, right?”

The purple unicorn just grunted angrily in response.

“You get front row tickets to see both our plots, and you’re complainin’?” she asked, looking behind her to gauge Twilight’s reaction.

Twilight’s face looked like it was going to pop like a cherry with a firecracker in it from how purely red it was, but she didn’t say a word.

“Applejack, really,” Rarity huffed, blushing herself.

“Hey, she said she likes ‘em, and it shut her gob,” the cowpony said with a flat look to her partner in crime. “Besides, don’t pretend like you don’t like other ponies finding you attractive.”

“Well, yes, I do,” she admitted. “It just feels somewhat awkward when it’s such a close friend undressing me with her eyes.”

“Rarity, you’re not wearin’ anything right now; you’re buck naked,” Applejack deadpanned.

“It’s a figure of speech; you know what I meant,” Rarity said with a roll of her eyes. “I also don’t think it was a very good idea for you to indulge her base instincts when they clearly cause her distress.”

“They ain’t distressin’ her now,” Applejack said, looking back at the still blushing Twilight, who was quiet and just enjoying the view. “Besides, Ah’m worried as much as you are. Ah just want her to stop being so embarrassed that she thinks my accent is cute.”

“Or that she thinks my mane is pretty,” Rarity added.

“Or that she finds my freckles adorable,” Applejack went on.

“Or that she thinks my gait is alluring.”

“Or that she thinks me applebuckin’ is sexy.”

“Or that she says I smell nice.”

“Or that she likes my plot,” they both said in unison. The two froze and looked into each other’s beet red faces before looking away.

“She is right about your freckles, you know,” Rarity said, blushing deeper.

“And about yer mane,” Applejack responded, her face growing redder in kind.

“And your accent,” Rarity added.

“And how ya walk.”

“And your smile.”

“And yer–” Applejack paused, looking over to the alabaster unicorn. “Wait, Twi never said anythin’ about my smile.”

“Really? Because I thought she did,” Rarity said, giggling and nervously looking around.

“She didn’t,” Applejack said flatly.

“Oh, my mistake!”

The two walked in silence for another minute before Applejack couldn’t resist breaking it like Derpy could never resist devastating the local muffin population. “So, what’s that you think about my smile?”

“I think it’s cute,” Rarity admitted, avoiding eye contact as they turned the corner and her boutique came into view. “It has a sincere, rustic charm to it.”

Applejack chuckled with a smile. “Thank ya kindly, Rarity. Ah think your eyes are mighty pretty, myself.”

“Really?” She looked back to the cowpony, her eyes lighting up and her ears perking.

“Really,” Applejack giggled as they arrived at the boutique. “You have absolutely no poker face by the way, Rarity.”

Rarity blinked and lifted her nose up with a huff as she opened the door. Inside was the rest of their inner circle. Fluttershy was cuddling with an unusually calm and content Opal while Pinkie Pie danced around with that thrice-damned maraca plot of hers. Rainbow Dash was sitting in a chair to the side, looking ashamed to be around so much femininity while trying to keep her eyes off of Pinkie’s bouncing feminine features.

“We’re back,” Rarity announced, holding the door open for Applejack.

“Where’s Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, leaving Opal’s side. Like a dragon getting its gem taken away, Opal returned to her usual grumpy self and slinked away.

“Right here, sugarcube,” Applejack said as she tugged the tied and bound unicorn in. “She tried to run, so we had to be a bit more forceful.”

“Why am I friends with you ponies?” Twilight grumbled, her face still red and her mood back to grumpy now that plot was no longer in view.

“Finally,” Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. “I was getting so bored!”

“You looked like you were plenty entertained by Pinkie’s plot. Oh, wait, were you trying to hide that?” Rarity asked coyly with a grin.

“When you’re so bored with nothing else to do, that thing gets hypnotic,” the pegasus said with a huff, crossing her forearms over her chest.

“Ooo, does that mean I can get you to do my bidding?” Pinkie asked excitedly.

“No, Pinkie, I was exaggerating,” Rainbow Dash said with a facehoof. “You can’t hypnotize ponies with your plot.”

“Aw, too bad; we could’ve had some major fun,” the party pony giggled, brushing her curly tail against Rainbow’s cheek, earning a deep blush from the pegasus.

“Pinkie, darling, we’re trying to make things less awkward between us as friends; you’re doing the exact opposite,” Rarity explained with a sigh.

“Why does it have to be awkward? There’s nothing wrong with being a filly fooler; who cares if we all are?” Pinkie said with a smile, finally sitting down and ending the noise coming from her plot.

“Sugarcube, there’s a big difference between being a filly fooler and outright flirting with your friends,” Applejack said with a sigh, knowing she might as well be pissing into a forest fire for all the good logic would do against Pinkie.

“But Rainbow’s a filly fooler too, so flirting should make her happy, right?” Pinkie asked, plopping her rump in Rainbow’s lap.

The stunt flyer’s wings snapped to attention as their owner froze, her face growing bright red. “Pinkie, g-get off!”

“Pinkie, that’s not how it works,” Rarity groaned.

“Rarity, you need to explain it in a way she’ll understand,” Fluttershy said, her voice soft as ever.

“I know, I know, Pinkie Logic and all that,” Rarity said, waving a hoof. “I still don’t have the faintest clue how it works.”

“I think I do,” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“Well then, you explain it to her, sugarcube,” Applejack invited as Rainbow Dash tried to pry Pinkie from her lap.

Fluttershy trotted up to Pinkie and cleared her throat. “Pinkie, you like it when ponies have fun, right?”

“Of course!” Pinkie said with a smile, oblivious to Rainbow Dash’s struggles. “My special talent is spreading fun, after all.”

“It’s like she’s glued on,” the pegasus grunted.

“Well, what happens when a pony at a party has too much fun and starts wrecking the party?” Fluttershy asked.

“Then nopony else is having fun and that pony is a party crasher,” Pinkie said, the metaphorical sugar-coated cogs in her brain starting to turn.

“Exactly, and you’re having a lot of fun flirting with Rainbow Dash and making her blush, right?” Fluttershy coaxed.

Pinkie Pie’s ears drooped and her smile faltered as if she’d just dropped somepony’s wedding cake on an especially adorable squirrel. “Oh.” She climbed off Rainbow Dash’s lap and nuzzled her gently. “Sorry, Dashie.”

“It’s no big,” Rainbow brushed off, still blushing wildly.

“See Twilight, this is why we need ta talk,” Applejack said, turning to the bound unicorn. “We need to set boundaries before our urges get out of–” She paused as she noticed Twilight looking longingly at where Rainbow was sitting, her cheeks as red as cherries. “You’re not even listenin’ to me, are ya?”

“Hm?” Twilight shook her head, snapping out of her stupor. “Sorry, I just got a little lap dance- I mean distracted!” She squeaked and shut her mouth tight, looking around the room as if everypony there was a shark and she was a salmon wrapped in twine.

Rarity facehoofed. “For the love of Celestia, Twilight, do you see what we mean? You’re so repressed that now that the cat’s out of the bag and you’ve accepted it, it’s all that’s on your mind!”

“The cat’s not out of the bag; the cat’s over there,” Pinkie giggled, pointing at an utterly bored Opal.

“It’s a figure of speech,” Rarity groaned.

“They’re right, Twilight. This is getting more than a bit worrying,” Fluttershy said, untying the unicorn. “You really need to get all of this out of your system before it gets worse.”

Twilight sighed and got to her feet, looking to each of her friends in turn. “Well, how do I do that?”

“Duh, go out on a date with somepony,” Rainbow Dash said with a roll of her eyes. “We know you want to go out with one of us, so take your pick.”

“I…um…uh…” Twilight stammered, her eyes sweeping across the room.

“Rainbow Dash, I doubt she’d want to go out with you if you treat it like a chore to get over with,” Rarity chided.

“That’s not what I meant,” Rainbow said, crossing her forelegs with a huff. “I’d love to go out with Twi. She’s really, really cute in a bookworm sort of way.”

“I-I am?” Twilight managed to stutter out.

Rainbow giggled with a smile. “You bet! I mean, I’m the most awesome pony in town, but you’re the smartest pony in town, and you make being an egghead cute instead of annoying.”

“Th-thanks… I think,” Twilight said hesitantly.

“I think a mare with smarts is attractive on its own,” Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane. “I’d also love to go on a date with you.”

“Thanks, Fluttershy,” Twilight said with a smile, feeling a bit more at ease.

“Ah don’t know why you’d wanna go out with lil’ old me, but what the hay? Ah’ll throw my hat in too,” Applejack shrugged with a smile. “You want a night on the town, Ah’d be happy to escort ya.”

“Applejack, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Twilight said, her blush returning.

“And don’t sell yourself short, Twilight,” Rarity said with a flutter of her eyelashes. “You’re not only a mare with smarts; you’re a mare with looks. You’re very pretty in your own way, and I would be honored to accompany you on a date one night.”

“O-oh, you’re really too kind.” Twilight blushed harder, but let out a surprised yelp when she felt a hoof pat her backside.

“She’s right, you know. You’re really pretty and pretty sexy,” Pinkie giggled, bouncing around the librarian. “I’d take you out on a date in a shake of a lollipop!”

“Pinkie, no touching another pony’s plot uninvited; that’s also party crashing,” Fluttershy chided.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Pinkie squeaked, patting Twi’s plot again in apology and backing off. Fluttershy rolled her eyes and smiled, but said not a word.

“So, Twi, who’s it gonna be?” Rainbow Dash asked, her facade of apathy gone.

“Oh, don’t pressure the poor mare,” Rarity said with a wave of her hoof.

Too late. Twilight’s eyes darted around to each prospective date, sweat starting to form on her brow. They still felt like sharks, but now they felt like sharks made of cake. She could have one cake shark and enjoy it, but the others might decide to attack her. That metaphor made no sense, but the paranoid mind of the librarian did not notice nor care.

“Twilight, are you okay?” asked the lemon cake shark with pink frosting.

“I think we broke her,” said the white cake one with purple frosting, its soulless black gumdrop eyes narrowing in a mockery of concern.

“Again,” sighed the pumpkin cake shark with a flick of her lemon frosting tail.

“I keep telling you that she needs a shrink,” the one with frosting all colors of the rainbow said with a gnash of her teeth.

“I don’t think she needs shrunk; then we might step on her! Remember the panic with Appletini?” the strawberry cake shark giggled, circling around the trapped unicorn.

“Yeah, and how Rainbow here almost ate me,” the shark that Twilight’s demented mind decided to dub Miss Pumpkin Pants said. The fact that sharks have never worn pants did not faze her line of reasoning, for there was no reasoning. There was only cake. And sharks.

“Hey, I spat you out,” said the rainbow one, who from thenceforth known to Twilight as Walking Pride Parade.

“For which I thank Celestia every day, but you still need to brush your teeth more,” joked Pumpkin Pants with a laugh that sounded like the cries of a thousand baby grasshoppers in Twilight’s ears.

“Um, I think Twilight’s eye is twitching,” said the lemon shark who Twi decided to call Lemon. Her madness was quickly running out of imagination.

“Are you okay, dear?” asked Snow White von Persnickety Bitch. Twilight thought the white and purple shark looked more like a Clarice, but that’s what she went with because Big Mac is red.

“She’s fine,” said the continually circling Bubblegum Bimbo. “The cuil count should return to normal any second now.”

“Cuil? What in tarnation is a–”

“Please don’t eat me!” Twilight blurted out, falling flat to the ground and covering her head with her forelegs, her eyes screwed shut as she shivered like a foal at the Slendermane’s feet.

“Um… pardon?” Rarity asked.

“I’ll say it again: she needs a shrink,” Rainbow Dash repeated firmly.

“I think she may be right,” Fluttershy said softly.

“We’ll talk about gettin’ her a shrink later,” Applejack said, accompanied by the soft patter of hooves on carpet getting closer. “No need to be scared, sugarcube; nopony’s gonna eat ya.”

Twilight opened her eyes to find that there were no sharks or cakes or combinations thereof. Just her friends looking at her with varying degrees of concern, save for Pinkie Pie.

“Wow, that was trippy!” the party pony giggled.

“Are you okay, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, lowering her head to look at Twilight with her sparkling teal eyes.

“Okay? She just begged us not to eat her. I mean, eating meat? Gross,” Rainbow Dash gagged.

“Yes, because the disgusting prospect of eating meat is more pressing than the prospect of eating a fellow pony,” Rarity deadpanned. “Seriously, darling, are you okay?”

Twilight looked sheepishly around and giggled, getting back to an upright sitting position. “I’m fine,” she assured with a smile that would look more natural on a doll. “I’m fine. Just… lost my head there for a second.”

“Twi, with all due respect, Ah reckon your head is in Fillydelphia at the rate it’s flyin’ away,” Applejack said with a small nuzzle.

Twilight flinched. “Look, it’s okay. It’s just…” She took in a deep breath. “I’m really flattered by all the offers, I really am. It’s just such a shock to go from being afraid that all of you would avoid me because I find you all attractive to, well… practically jumping at the chance to go out on a date. That’s some major emotional whiplash, you know?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, darling,” Rarity said, trotting up to Twilight and pulling her into a hug. “None of us meant to do that to you.” She pulled away and smiled. “But you should never be afraid of us wanting to avoid you because of who you are, understood?”

“You’re not getting rid of us that easy,” Rainbow chuckled, joining the hug.

“We’ll love you no matter what you do,” Fluttershy added, joining as well.

“Always, always, always!” Pinkie said, bouncing into the pile.

“We’re friends to the end, all six of us,” Applejack said, completing the group hug. “Don’t you dare ever forget that, sugarcube.”

Twilight smiled wide and blinked back tears as she hugged as many of her friends as she could. “Thanks, girls; that really means a lot to me.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Rainbow Dash said, pulling away with a chuckle and flutter of her wings. “What’re friends for, right?”

Pinkie, naturally, was more than happy to answer such a rhetorical question. “Throwing parties, helping with chores, having pet play dates, keeping each other from the brink of insanity–”

Rainbow Dash put a hoof to Pinkie’s mouth. “Pinkie, not now,” she said with a giggle.

“Yeah, we still need to lay down some ground rules about how things are gonna go between all of us,” Applejack said, pulling away from the hug as well. “Anypony have any suggestions?”

“Well, um, I do,” Fluttershy said, also pulling away. “That no matter if we date each other and it doesn’t go well, we’ll still be friends?”

Applejack nodded with a smile. “That sounds like a good one.”

“But no affairs,” Rarity added firmly, pulling away and fully dissolving the group hug. “Nothing makes a relationship goes sour faster than sleeping on the side.”

“Doesn’t that go without saying?” Rainbow Dash asked, cocking a brow.

“I always sleep in the middle of my bed, so no problems here,” Pinkie giggled.

“Never mind,” Rainbow deadpanned. “I have one to add: no banging between any of us. It’ll just make things even more awkward if they don’t work out.”

“I don’t know about that one,” Rarity said. “I’ve always been very mature about my love life; I don’t begrudge former partners for moving on.”

Rainbow Dash’s ears perked. “Rarity, exactly how much have you gotten laid?”

Rarity blushed and avoided eye contact as if she were talking to a cockatrice. “A lady never tells that, my dear.”

“Who was it with?” Rainbow asked, sporting a Cheshire grin.

“Wait, does this mean we can’t be friends with benefits?” Pinkie asked, her ears drooping.

Everypony just stared at her, but Twilight was the first to speak up. “Pinkie, how do you go from innuendos flying right over your head to talking about your love life like an adult within the space of thirty seconds?”

“I dunno,” she admitted with a shrug.

“Don’t dwell on it.” Fluttershy put a hoof on Twilight’s withers. “Thinking about it can lead only to madness.”

“Stay on track, ladies,” Applejack cut in. “Ah guess the general rule is no getting intimate unless you’re really sure you can handle a potential break-up. Any other ideas?”

Pinkie raised her hoof up. “Are orgies out of the question?”

“Yes!” all the others said in unison.

“Aw... guess it’s still just me, Colgate, and Berry Punch, then.”

Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “Too much information, Pinkie!”

Rarity flinched and blushed. “Pinkie, the last thing I need on my mind is you in a ménage à trois.”

“I have no idea what that means. Is that fancy talk for a three-way?” Pinkie asked with all the self-awareness of a goldfish.

“Yes,” Rarity confirmed in the voice of the long suffering.

“Oh, okay!”

“I suppose I’ll throw this one out there: no flirting during business hours,” Rarity said. “All of us have jobs, and whenever we have free time we should not be spending it distracting each other. That goes double for you, Pinkie Pie.”

“Okie dokie loki!” the party pony said with a salute.

“Weight off my mind,” Twilight sighed with a smile.

“Yeah, because there’s no better place to seduce a pony than a library,” Rainbow Dash teased. “It’s just such a great setup for pick up lines!”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “If you were a book, I’d put you under S for sexy!”

The stunt flyer grinned as she joined in. “Sorry, but I don’t think I get the plot of this book. Could you show me yours? I think I’d like it better.”

Pinkie laughed out loud. “Okay, how about this one: I’m ready to check out. Not a book, silly, I’m here to check you out!”

“Too safe,” Rainbow dismissed, giggling all the same. “Gotta be like this: Excuse me, miss, I’m not sure I understand this love scene. Think you could explain it to me? Or maybe we should act it out instead; I’m a physical learner.” She wriggled her hips and waggled her eyebrows, barely holding back her laughter.

“That’s enough, you two,” Applejack snickered as the pair collapsed into a hail of laughs and giggles. Fluttershy and Twilight were blushing so hard that their faces were the exact same hue. “Ah think we’ve got some pretty good rules set up. Shall we call it a day and this issue settled?”

“Sounds good to me, dear,” Rarity said with a nod. “I have orders to fill, anyway.”

“Wait,” Rainbow Dash panted out as her hysterics died down, “doesn’t Twi still have to pick who to go out with first?”

“Rainbow, now’s not the time,” Fluttershy chided.

“No, no, you were right, Fluttershy. I need to get this out of my system,” Twilight admitted. “So I guess I’ll go out on a date with…” She scanned the room again, biting her lip. “Applejack. First, anyway.”

“It’d be my honor, sugarcube,” Applejack chuckled with a bow. “We’ll talk later when we’re less busy to work out the specifics, okay?”

“Deal,” Twilight giggled, trotting out the door. She paused mid-stride. “While I’m here, though, I have a favor to ask of you all.”

“Anything, darling,” Rarity assured.

“Well, I sent a letter to Princess Celestia about Doctor Insano. She’s worried too, and told me to keep an eye on him until she visits later this week, and to ask anypony I can trust to help. She even said to consider it a royal mandate if I need to,” she explained.

“I told you!” Rainbow Dash blurted.

Fluttershy gave her fellow pegasus a pointed look. “Twilight, Doctor Insano really doesn’t seem like that bad a pony. He’s a bit… prickly, yes, but he’s obviously had a really hard life.”

“He even thanked us for coming to visit him,” Applejack added.

“Oh, and did we forget to mention he’s really a mare?” Rainbow Dash deadpanned.

“He’s what?” Rarity and Twilight asked in unison.

“Trans, but hasn’t had the change made yet to a stallion,” Fluttershy corrected.

“I suddenly find him very interesting,” Pinkie Pie purred.

“Pinkie, no dating the mad scientist,” Rarity said with a sigh.

Twilight threw her shock into the mental garbage disposal, leaving her with curiosity. “Why hasn’t he made the change yet? Sex change spells are dirt cheap in most parts of Equestria.”

“He apparently didn’t even know that magic like that existed. Hay, he said that he doesn’t even know how to use magic,” Applejack explained.

Twilight’s eyebrows shot up like they were spring-loaded. “A unicorn that doesn’t know magic? That’s–”

“Insane, I know,” Rainbow interrupted. “I’m starting to think he’s not what he says he is.”

“You mean a card-carrying nutcase? I’m pretty sure he’s that,” Twilight said.

“Well, yeah, there’s that, but I meant everything else,” Rainbow Dash corrected. “I mean, Insano? That name is too stupid to be real.”

“Or too weird to make up,” Rarity suggested.

“What do you reckon he is, then? A changeling or somethin’ of that nature?” Applejack asked.

“Buck if I know, but I do know that something’s fishy about that guy. Count me in, Twilight,” the stunt flyer announced.

“Me too; if the princess is worried, we all should be,” Rarity said.

“Me three!” Pinkie started bouncing up and down. “I wanna know more about him!”

“Ah guess it wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye on him in case he tries anything funny,” Applejack conceded. “Ah’ll help too.”

“I still think you’re wrong about him, but… okay,” Fluttershy said meekly, her ears drooping.

“It’s settled, then.” Twilight clapped her hooves together. “He’s still in the clinic and won’t get out for a day or two, but when he leaves we’ll keep tabs on him until Celestia arrives.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Rarity said. “Though really, I do have orders to fill and deadlines to meet, so if you would all kindly…?”

“Sure thing, Rares,” Rainbow said, trotting to the exit. “See ya!”

The other girls said their farewells and good wishes to Rarity before they each went their separate ways. Twilight had a spring in her step in the way ponies did after they had a heavy burden lifted off their shoulders. The sky seemed a little bluer, the sun shone a little brighter, the grass looked a little healthier, and all seemed right with the world.

Then she opened the front door of her house.  Her blood boiled so hot it could melt magma. If looks could kill, she’d be arrested for genocide. The steely rage boner she sprouted could rend continents asunder and cause tsunamis with her mighty thrusts.

However since all of the above were metaphors, she was just left sputtering and quaking in anger at the sight of Insano sitting in her house with half of her library’s stock scattered carelessly on the floor with the offender taking no damage from the waves of hatred sent his way.

“Um, Twilight, are you okay?” Spike asked from a pile of books he was trying to reshelf.

“Hmr?” Insano looked over the top of the book he was reading. “Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”

“I… I think she broke,” Spike said hesitantly.

“What,” she snarled, grinding her teeth together, “are you doing in my house?!”

“Reading books,” he replied, returning to doing just that. “This is a library. Libraries are full of books. Books are meant to be read.”

“Don’t be smart with me,” she snapped, kicking the front door shut with her rear hoof.

“Really, because I was intentionally trying to dumb my speech down so you could understand as it was,” he drawled, turning the page with his nose.

“Look at this!” she shrieked, motioning to the carnage of books left scattered about in unnatural angles and ways that would probably ruin their spines. “Spike, how could you let this happen?!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why!” he whimpered, trying frantically to clean up. “I just let him in to look at a few books, and next thing I know this happens!”

“You are so grounded, mister,” she growled as her horn glowed and she began picking up her inventory. “And you will be spending that time reorganizing all these books, understood?”

“Y-yes, ma’am,” he groaned.

When she tried to magically pick up a book near the mad scientist, he seemed to activate his own magic and hold it in place. “Hey, I need that for cross references!”

“You’re lucky I don’t kick your plot out of here!” She pulled the book away, but he was still struggling to hang onto it. “What are you even looking up, anyway?” She dragged the book over to her, the thing quivering from the magic tug of war that was being done to it. “A Tourist’s Guide to Equestria?”

“Fine, you can have it,” Insano grumbled as he let go, the book smacking into Twilight’s face and earning a yelp of pain.

She set down the book with a scowl, looking at Insano like a predator on the hunt. “Okay, let’s just see what else you’ve been researching, shall we?” Her horn glowed as she picked up all of the books he’d gathered around himself, including the one he was holding in his hooves.

“Hey, wait, stop!” he pleaded. He couldn’t keep a good enough grip to match hers on a single book, let alone over a dozen of them.

Twilight scanned the titles of the books as they paraded in front of her. There were books on Equestrian language and slang, the geography of Equis and Equestria, cultural norms of Equestria and its system of government, among other similar subjects. What caught her eye was the abundance of books on astronomy, along with various star maps that Twilight had made herself.

“What in Celestia’s name are you up to?” she mumbled, mostly to herself.

“None of your damn business,” he spat. “I just wanted to read some damn books, and I don’t exactly have any money to pay for renting them out. Hell, I don’t even have a place to stay for the night.”

She was going to give condolences so dripping with sarcasm that it could drown a small town when a thought struck her. “Wait, how did you do magic without your horn glowing?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking her over suspiciously.

“When you tried to grab these books back I could feel your magic pulling, but your horn didn’t glow,” she explained.

“I take it that this is unusual,” he said, his curiosity as plain as the goggles on his face.

“Of course it is! Unicorn magic always glows with an aura the same color as the caster’s… eyes… hm.” Her anger gave way to interest as she shelved the books she’d managed to grab and trotted over to Insano. “It looks like that since you’re blind–”

“I can cast magic invisibly?” he finished, a smile forming on his lips, the smile of a scientist who found a new riddle to crack.

“Precisely,” she said, mirroring the smile. “I’ve never heard of anything like this before, to be honest. This requires further study.”

“Study? Pah, this requires tests,” he scoffed. “Why read about other ponies’ findings when you can put the scientific method to work yourself?”

Twilight’s smile widened. “I like the way you think, Doctor. You need a place to stay for the night, right? How about this: I let you sleep in the guest bed, and you let me study you.”

“You hardly even need to bribe me; I’ll do anything for the advance of scientific knowledge,” he said, proudly puffing out his chest. “But yes, those arrangements sound agreeable. You’ll have to teach me more about magic, though, since I know little on the subject myself.”

“Deal. Follow me and we’ll set up your bed,” she said, trotting up the stairs to her bedroom.

“This will not end well,” Spike muttered under his breath as he shelved another book. Next Chapter: Sorcery and Sore Spots Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 39 Minutes