Twilight winced with each step as she walked out of the office with Nurse Tenderheart. The disinfectant stung so much in her wounds that she briefly debated whether she’d rather have the splinters back. “Thank you for cleaning my injuries, Nurse Tenderheart,” she said all the same.

“Please, no need to be so formal,” the nurse insisted as she closed the door. “Just call me Tenderheart.”

Twilight gave a soft smile back as she limped down the hall back to the waiting room. “You’re very good at your craft, Tenderheart.”

“Please, no flattery,” the nurse said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I’ll never be as good as my sister is.”

“Don’t sell yourself short; you’re a great nurse,” Twilight said, forcing a smile through the pain.

“Thank you, Twilight, but no matter how good I am, Redheart is still better. We both know it. I bring different skills to the table, though,” Tenderheart explained.

“Oh?” Twilight was slightly interested, but mostly just in pain.

“Mhm. Redheart is a better nurse, but I have a better bedside manner. She’s good at dealing with troublemakers; I’m good at calming panicking patients down. I’m better at keeping things organized; she’s better at doing the clinic’s taxes. She’s good at giving orders, I’m good at taking them,” Tenderheart listed off. “There’s no shame in admitting our weaknesses since we cover each other with our strengths.”

“It must be nice to have a sister like that,” Twilight said with a smile.

“Yeah, when she isn’t cranky over how lonely she is,” Tenderheart said with a sigh. “Running a two pony medical clinic is a full-time job. She doesn’t have much time for a love life.”

Twilight flinched, for once not in pain but in pity. “That must be hard on both of you. I’m sure there’s a nice colt out there for each of you, though.”

Tenderheart giggled. “I highly doubt that. She’s as gay as Mount Canterlot is tall, while my stable door swings both ways.”

“O-oh,” Twilight stammered, her cheeks turning red.

“Is that an issue?” Tenderheart asked. “Trust me, I wasn’t checking you out while I was working on you; I know how to keep my mind on my job and my eyes off the plot.”

“No, it’s not that,” she said hastily. “It’s just, well… I’m still somewhat new to talking about the subject. I only accepted that I’m a filly fooler myself very recently.” She scraped her tongue against her teeth as if admitting her love for matching chromosomes left a bad taste in her mouth. Specifically the flavor of strawberries and copper; she supposed that’s what the acceptance of sexuality tasted like.

“Oh, congratulations!” Tenderheart exclaimed.

“What? Why are you congratulating me?” Twilight asked, looking at the nurse as if she had just admitted her urine tasted like chocolate milk.

“Why shouldn’t I be? Isn’t self discovery a good thing?” Tenderheart asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, wait… you were raised in Canterlot, weren’t you?”

“Yeah; why?” Twilight asked, her own eyebrows raising.

The nurse sighed. “I’m guessing Canterlot culture taught you that homosexuality was a bad thing, right? I doubt Celestia did.”

“Well… no, Celestia said that there was nothing wrong with it,” the unicorn admitted.

“I thought as much,” the nurse said, suddenly sounding a lot older than she was. “Canterlot is a lot more intolerant than the rest of Equestria, thanks to all the nobles. They don’t care if us peasants reproduce, oh no, but Celestia forbid if their highborn bloodlines hit a dead-end in the form of a clambake or sausage fest.”

“I take it you don’t like the nobility?” Twilight asked a bit nervously.

“Let’s just say that the sooner Celestia abolishes the concept of nobility and really gives us all equal rights, the happier I’ll be,” Tenderheart explained.

“I’ll… bring that up with her,” Twilight said, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Much to her relief, the main room was in sight, her friends’ voices getting within earshot.

“Looks like Tenderheart is done with Twilight; who wants to go next?” Applejack asked the other mares.

“I don’t; my blood actually tastes kinda good! I think it’s from all the sugar I eat,” Pinkie Pie said as she licked the cuts on her foreleg. Fluttershy and Rarity, who were sitting on either side of the party pony, wisely inched away in their seats.

“Applejack, darling, don’t you think you should be treated next? You’re hurt far worse than the rest of us,” Rarity said, her brow furrowed.

“Horseapples; Ah can wait for the rest of y’all to be patched up before the work on me,” the cowpony insisted.

“You really should go next,” Fluttershy said. “I mean, I didn’t really fight at all, so I think I should be last.”

“I think they’re right, Applejack,” Twilight said as she joined them. “You and Rainbow Dash had it far worse than the rest of us.”

“And I’m not about to go next when you haven’t been treated yet,” Rarity huffed, crossing her forelegs over her chest.

Applejack looked at each of her friends in turn and sighed. “Alright, fine. Ah’m goin’ next, Nurse Tenderheart.”

“Splendid! Follow me,” the nurse said, turning around and trotted back down the hall. The cowpony did as she was bidden, cantering to catch up.

Twilight looked at the three remaining mares and flashed a nervous smile as she took a seat next to Rarity. “So, where’s Rainbow Dash?”

“Nurse Redheart is taking care of her,” Rarity explained, not making eye contact with Twilight.

“Oh,” Twilight said, scrambling to find something else to talk about. She could sense the awkward tension in the air, and it made her horn tingle in a way she didn’t like. “Any news on Insano?”

“Still knocked out, as far as I’m aware,” the fashionista said. “They said that he’s stable for now, and they’ve done all they can until he wakes up.”

“Poor thing,” Fluttershy mumbled, her gaze downcast. “I had no idea he was blind.”

“I don’t think anypony would have guessed that, Fluttershy,” Twilight assured. “I certainly didn’t see it coming.”

“Though I guess it makes sense why he would ever wear something so tacky,” Rarity sneered.

“I think they look kinda funny,” Pinkie giggled as she continued licking her wounds.

“Still, I feel really sorry for him,” the pegasus said. “Maybe we shouldn’t have taken his goggles away from him…”

“Darling, that’s a nice sentiment, but the colt built weapons into them,” Rarity reasoned. “And you heard what he said. He was fully willing to kill everypony here.”

“Wouldn’t you if somepony threatened to take away your eyes?” Fluttershy asked, looking over to the fashionista.

“Well… I…” Rarity sighed. “I suppose I wouldn’t react very well myself, were I in his shoes.”

“He may not be the nicest pony, but I don’t think he’s that bad,” Fluttershy said.

“I love his laugh; it’s one of those laughs that you can’t help but smile at,” Pinkie Pie said between licks.

“Personally it sends shivers down my spine,” Rarity said with a shudder. “And not in a ‘that’s so attractive, take me now’ way, in a ‘you are obviously crazy and I’m going to back away slowly now’ way.”

“I’m mostly interested in his technology. It’s decades ahead of anything I’ve seen or read about. I’m not even sure how it could possibly even work. I mean, how do you measure homosexuality?” Twilight pondered.

“Reminds me; did you really mean what you said about all of us being attractive?” Pinkie Pie asked, leaning over with a wide grin and waggling her eyebrows.

The metaphorical hamster running on the wheel in Twilight’s brain suddenly suffered from a seizure. “I… u-uh,” the unicorn stammered, so much blood pumping into her face that it resembled a cherry.

“Pinkie, now is not the time for that!” Rarity spat, glaring at the party pony.

“What, I’m just asking; you were thinking it too,” Pinkie said, lightly elbowing Rarity with a wink.

“Well, the question had crossed my mind,” she admitted, “but I was polite enough to resist the temptation to voice it.”

“I’m kind of curious, too,” Fluttershy confessed, her face turning red. “I mean… some ponies have called me cute, but not attractive.”

Twilight’s eyes darted around the room as if there were some escape from the inevitable conversation besides actually running away. “I… well, yeah. You’re all really, really pretty, I think,” the unicorn mumbled.

“I’m flattered, darling,” Rarity said, flipping her mane with a smile.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy whispered, hiding behind her mane.

“Pretty? Please, I’m sexy and I know it!” Pinkie hopped from her seat and shook her hips. “Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!” she chanted as her rear did just that.

Twilight felt as if her head was about to pop. Her eyes were filled with bouncing bubblegum pink and absolutely refused to budge.

“O-oh my,” Fluttershy stammered, her face brightening up.

“Pinkie Pie, stop that this instant!” Rarity barked as she covered her eyes, her own alabaster cheeks turning red.

“Why? I’m just shaking what my momma gave me!” Pinkie giggled.

“I doubt your mother would exactly approve at such an act of exhibitionism,” Rarity spat.

“What does that mean?” the party pony asked innocently as she added strutting around the room to her lewd routine.

“It means that I don’t think your mother would like you shaking your plot like a pair of maracas!” she hissed as she tore her hooves away from her eyes.

Pinkie Pie abruptly stopped. “Hm…” she hummed to herself as her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth. She looked at her rear contemplatively and raised it before giving it a shake, earning the sound of a pair of shaking maracas for her trouble. The party pony brightened up and giggled, giving her hips another good shake and getting the same sound.

Rarity’s eye twitched. “How did you–” She shook her head. “Never mind, don’t question it; that line of questioning leads to madness.”

Fluttershy leaned over and gave the fashionista a pat on the shoulder, wrapping her wing behind her head. “It’s okay, Rarity; it’s Pinkie Pie. We all know how frustrating it can be,” she assured.

Either ignoring, not noticing, or reveling in the unicorn’s grief, Pinkie Pie looked over her shoulder and said, “Hiya, Dashie! Look what I can do!” She giggled and wriggled her rump back and forth and up and down, playing it like a musical instrument.

Twilight blinked and snapped out of her stupor to look at the approaching Rainbow Dash, Nurse Redheart following close behind. The pegasus was walking with a bit of a limp and she occasionally gasped in pain, yet for some reason she had a big smile on her face.

“Yeah, that’s cool, Pinkie,” the pegasus said, walking right past the presented and shaking plot as if she didn’t even notice it before sitting down next to Twilight.

Redheart blushed and averted her eyes away from the pink party pony and her bouncing bubblegum butt. “Dash is as good as new, or will be in a few days. Who’s up next?” she asked, looking hopefully at Rarity and Fluttershy.

The two mares exchanged a look, and Rarity jerked her head in Redheart’s direction. “I-I guess I will, Nurse Readheart,” Fluttershy said, sliding off her seat and trotting over to the nurse’s side.

“Your injuries look minimal, so this won’t take long,” Redheart assured before she turned around and trotted away. “Follow me.”

Fluttershy obeyed, letting out a small meep when Pinkie’s rump swung close to her face from her wild playing. She sped up to a canter to catch up with the nurse, only sparing a small glance back.

The only sound in the room was Pinkie prancing around and playing her pealing posterior. Twilight much preferred the awkward silence to the even more awkward noise.

“So, Rainbow Dash, what are you so happy about?” Rarity asked, leaning over to look at the battered pegasus.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied coyly, her grin widening. “Nothing at all.”

“You look like the cat who just swallowed the canary and got away with it,” Rarity deadpanned. “Surely something must have happened.”

“Well, if you must know,” the pegasus started with a stretch and a happy sigh, “I’ve got a date.”

Both mares’ eyebrows almost launched into the stratosphere. “A date?” they asked in unison.

“Mhm,” Rainbow Dash nodded, looking over her hoof. “With Nurse Redheart.”

“But I thought you said you weren’t a filly fooler,” Twilight pointed out.

“Eh, I’ve said a lot of things,” she brushed off. “I’m a filly fooler; so what? I’m still the coolest pegasus around, and I’m still gonna be a Wonderbolt someday. It doesn’t matter if it’s stallions or mares hanging off my forelegs as I lead them to my place.”

Twilight blushed a bit at the mental image while Rarity beamed. “That’s wonderful, dear! I’m so glad you’ve finally accepted it,” the fashionista gushed.

Rainbow Dash chuckled and elbowed the purple unicorn next to her. “What about you, egghead? You ready to admit your filly fooling ways?”

“A-already have,” she stammered, avoiding eye contact and Pinkie’s prancing plot. “As I said before you got back, I find all of you really pretty.”

“Who do you think is prettiest?” the pegasus asked, smirking and cocking an eyebrow.

If Twilight’s brain were to be likened to a factory, all the assembly lines screeched to a halt, all of the workers had simultaneous heart attacks, and the building spontaneously burst into merry flames. “I…I…Uh…”

“Rainbow Dash, that isn’t any of our business,” Rarity said, casting a stern look at the pegasus.

“What, you aren’t curious too?” Rainbow asked.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I was going to ask it,” the fashionista huffed. “One simply does not ask a pony who is prettier than who.”

“Well, I just did,” Rainbow shot back. “So, who is it, Twilight?”

The librarian’s eye twitched as words just started flowing out of her mouth. “Well, Rainbow Dash is very athletic and confident. Sometimes overly pompous, but confidence is good. Confidence is sexy. The way her messy mane says ‘you’re here to impress me, not the other way around’ is sexy too. Also a very good plot, despite flying everywhere.”

The pegasus blushed up a storm and stammered, “Um, Twilight, I’m right here you know.”

“Pinkie Pie is always energetic and fun to be around. She can get annoying at times, but it’s never too bad. A bit on the chubby side, but she makes it work and the fat goes to all the right places. I’m not really into curly hair, though. Knows how to strut her stuff and could probably pull an all-nighter,” Twilight rambled on, her gaze in a faraway place.

“Aw, thanks Twilight,” Pinkie giggled before focusing on her music practice once more.

“Darling, I think you may be saying a bit too much,” Rarity cautioned.

“Rarity’s definitely pretty in the traditional sense. Bouncy, perfectly combed mane; well-kept teeth; nice, tight plot,” Twilight continued to rant. “She wears really good perfume, too, and just the way she walks says ‘come and get me, I haven’t got all day.’ The way she just flutters her eyelashes when she really wants something makes my heart skip a beat every time.”

“O-oh dear,” Rarity gasped. “I think we broke Twilight.”

“Happy to report that Fluttershy will be better by morning,” Redheart announced as she trotted back in with the yellow pegasus following close behind.

“Th-thank you, Nurse Redheart,” she said softly with a smile.

“Fluttershy is really cute,” Twilight said, not even acknowledging that the pegasus was there. “Cute smile, cute mane, cute voice, cute eyes… oh, those eyes. I have no idea how much I get lost in them. Oh, and a very cute plot, too. I could stare at either end of her forever.” The unicorn let out a giggle that sounded more than a bit unhinged given the circumstances.

“Oh…oh my,” Fluttershy stammered, her face turning bright red.

“Nurse Tenderheart says Ah’m all patched up and ready to go,” Applejack proudly announced as she strode in, said nurse not far behind. “Why’s everypony staring at Twilight?”

“Applejack… oh, where would I even start with her?” Twilight wondered aloud. “Those freckles of hers are just absolutely adorable, not to mention her accent. I also love the way she does her mane and tail. And oh, that plot! I think hers is my favorite. It’s so muscular and ripples in a way I can’t even describe right before she kicks out against a tree.”

The cowpony’s eyes grew wide as her jaw dropped and her face recolored itself to resemble her cutie mark. “Why, Twilight… Ah had no idea that you–”

Twilight shook her head rapidly like a dog drying itself off and her gaze refocused. “Sorry I took so long to think that out; I guess if I really had to choose, I’d say–” Her answer died in her throat when she noticed all the widened eyes, slacked jaws and blushing cheeks around her. “Um… why is everypony looking at me?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “Dear, you weren’t thinking it out; you said all of that out loud.”

The metaphorical factory fell into a collapsing star. “A…all of it?” she squeaked, her pupils dilating.

Rarity nodded wordlessly.

Several eternities disguised as seconds passed in total, crushing silence as the unicorn’s eyes darted between all of her friends and the two nurses in attendance. Sweat started forming on her brow and she bit her lip so hard it started to bleed. Her posture collapsed as she hunched down, trying to hide from their eyes.

“Ahah, well, it was nice going on an adventure with you all, but I really should be checking in on Spike, bye!” she spit out rapid-fire as her horn glowed. A flash of light later and the unicorn was gone.

The clock ticked thunderously in the gathered mares’ ears, or would have were it not for Pinkie’s miraculous maraca-rump.

“Going on an adventure? Is that what she’s calling it now?” Rarity asked with a small giggle.

“She can call it whatever she likes as long as she gives it a try with one of us,” Applejack said, her face still bright red.

“Or all of us,” the dancing Pinkie Pie suggested.

“For Celestia’s sake, Pinkie, that’s revolting,” Rarity scolded.

“I didn’t mean at the same time!” The party pony froze in mid hip-swing and said, “Or did I? I can’t remember.” She gave a small shrug before resuming her dance, the other four blushing in the wake of her comment.

“I think you girls should all get going before one of my patients chokes on the sexual tension in the air,” Redheart suggested, looking at each of the girls in turn. “You all need your bed rest, anyway.”

Fluttershy yawned, covering her mouth with her hoof. “It is pretty late… or, well, early at this point, I guess.”

“There’s no way Ah’m gonna get enough sleep for applebuckin’ at sunrise, but Ah might as well try,” Applejack said, yawning as well and walking toward the front door.

Rarity yawned herself as she followed. “So many orders to fill out, so little time.”

The yawn spread over to Rainbow Dash as she trotted after them. “There’s no way I’m not sleeping in…”

Pinkie Pie yawned as well as she pranced over to the others. “I guess I can practice my new musical caboose routine tomorrow.”

The five mares said their farewells and thanks to the two sisters and left. Fluttershy stopped for a moment and turned back. “Um… please let me know if Insano is okay? I’m a little bit worried about him.”

“Don’t worry; he’s in good hooves,” Tenderheart assured. “You get some sleep.”

Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “Thank you both again.”

“You’re welcome,” Redheart called after her as the door closed. She let out a relieved sigh before she dragged her hooves back to her station and guzzled the last of her coffee, which had grown cold by that point. “I don’t even have a single gray hair in my mane, and I already feel too old for this.”

“Look on the bright side,” Tenderheart said as she trotted back to her rounds, “at least Berry Punch and Colgate fell asleep.”

Redheart shot a glare at her giggling sister’s receding rump and grumbled to herself, “It’s just gonna be one of those days, isn’t it?” Next Chapter: Where I Expect To Lose Readers Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 34 Minutes