I alone stood in the abyss.

In a sense, it wasn't considered dark--I could still see myself as I glanced around the void. In assurance, I raised my hoof, a dim, cerulean glow emanating from my coat. Strangely enough, the shades of black from my jacket differentiated with that of the tenebrous surroundings. The contrast was perfect.

"Joy? Kill? Anypony there?" I called out into the isolation of my dream state.

No response from either. "Maybe it's just Grim's spell," I tried to reassure myself in the hope that I'd be reunited with the twin consciences soon.

It was as if I stood on the fabric of space itself--just a void. Grim called this my fear, but there was nothing to fear... just me. Was this my phobia? Loneliness? I always had Kill and Joy to associate myself with, but this wasn't fear, it was just strangely uncomfortable without the two's bickering.

There was no use for me to just stay still and stare into the void of nothingness, that was what Mr. Charge's class was intended for.

With a hesitant step forward, the ground formed beneath my hooves, as if it were pointing the way--though to what, I couldn’t be sure of. The building blocks of the path were made out of cobblestone, forever incomplete without another progressing trot forward. I took no interest in asking "Why?" It wouldn't have mattered either way, since I knew that I wouldn’t get an answer. Nothing mattered at this point, there was literally nothing  existent to worry about except my escape and my consciences.

This path was for the least random... it was specific. It was familiar, and I didn't like that. The only town that I knew of which possessed this trail of cobblestone was mine. Ponyville.

Lamp posts came from the opposite direction of the rising building blocks of the village, dropping out of nowhere. The heavenly beacons shone for a while, their attempts to pierce through the consuming darkness futile. They were just as useless as lighting up the nothingness around me as they were at lighting up a bright summer day, functioning more as pieces of decor than lights.

The path began to wind its way to the right, and I had no choice but to follow it. I came to a sudden pause, taking the moment of tranquility to watch as more of the village's building blocks cascaded into existence, flooding the ebony canvas with a palette of vibrant colors. Dead center in this floating, square district of nothingness was a sight for the sorest of eyes--the petrified mare and her water fountain.

When I was a colt, before claiming this spot as my own--one of the perks that came with the shunning--ponies used to gather around this reared stone character, as they drank from it's surrounding pool to rest and regenerate before heading on home.

As I've said before, this was my place—the only seat where the cold water could beat against your back. But, when mixed with a refreshing cool breeze? Oh, yes, it was set to relax from a tiring day of being a blighted curse on society.

This nightmare provided neither of those luxuries. Everything was dead. The water surrounding the petrified mare was undisturbed, none spurting out of her concrete lips as she herself stood still on that very spot, as destined to until the end of time.

I remembered sitting here, just watching as ponies as they went on with their daily business, acting "natural" in my presence. Once in a while they would stop to stare, only for me to acknowledge, and once again, be ignored. At least they had the decency not to lower my spirits any further... well, not in front my face for the least. But, I do remember having to be "kindly" removed so that another could get a drink on more than one occassion.

The statue never asked any of those things from me—she was a kind and quiet mare, standing gracefully on that one spot, overlooking me with shade and quenching my thirst with the water she provided. She was there for the good and the bad times, but mostly the bad. She never asked anything of me. She was a friend.

I bent my neck to take a sip from her inviting pool, wiping the remains from my snout with the sleeves of my jacket. "Thank you, old friend." I smiled to the statue. "At least one of us is going to make it out of here." I didn't expect a response—she never said anything before, so what should change the ways of a statue?

I bid my old friend aideu and continued with the path that oh-so patiently awaited my hoofsteps at the opposite end of the square. It continues forward without delay, nothing different than before.

The path decided to take another right and once again, the area came to life, more rectangular in shape than the previous. As the cobblestone tiles rose, so did the carts stocked full of the labored fruit of hard working ponies. If memory served me right, this was the Farmer's Market; a highly populated, terrible place for me.

It was here that I was always on thin ice with everypony, always the target of the crowd’s hushed whispers as a colt when passing by to get to and fro school.

The path was already filled, seeing as no other tiles fell from above, giving me liberty to move around and scan the area and look at something other than darkness for a change. I passed two carts with a glance while trotting by, their produce of carrots and lettuce scattered on the floor, flamboyant in comparison to the bland, wooden boards and rusty nails that the carts, and signs that flaked red paint.

A statue rose from one of those missing tiles. It was not as friendly as the water fountain's... and it wasn't as quiet. It stood still, not even with a pose as its eyes stared into blank space. "Have you heard about that colt? Someponies say he brutally murdered his mother," hissed the statue without even moving its lips, her voice hushed as she whispered into the vacant sky.

My ears twitched as those words ignorantly leaving her mouth, halting me in my tracks. "What?!" I shouted back at it. "That's not true! It's a lie!"

"Oh, yes," another pony rose beside her, in consensus with her accomplice. "After he had beat up the other colt, he went for his mother. What kind of twisted pony does that?!"

Was this what everypony said about me?

"No! No! No! I was trying to help the filly!" My words reached out to the ponies in hopes that they would hear my plea. "I would never even think of hurting her! You guys don't understand, it wasn't my fault, I don't know what happened!" I trot between both ponies, shaking them in a desperate attempt to gain their attention. "Please, listen to me! I didn't kill her!"

My cries fell to deaf ears. The crumbling sound of the rising ground brought forth more petrified ponies as they neatly aligned themselves throughout the Farmer's Market, side by side, each helping to spread the rumor. "Everypony he knows would be better off without him," remarked a stallion with a harrumph. "I'm glad I don't have to raise that mess of a colt!"

"Don't talk or even walk near that pony, Big Macintosh. Don't you ever grow up like that, ya hear me?" warned an elderly apple vendor with her mane in a bun to her bulky grandson. "The nerve of some colts, I should talk to his teacher and have him expelled for such violent behavior. He is a bad influence and doesn't belong with any of us!"

"Yeah! We should cast him out to the Everfree!" agreed a pony beside her, Ms. Carrot Top and her nasal voice.

"Shut up..." I forced the words through the heavy lump in my throat as I endured every lashing comment. "You foals don't know anything!"

"Just look at that little freak, I wonder if he has feelings anymore... hmph, probably not. I mean, the little brat killed his mother," accused another lone statue in the streets.

"Shut. Up." My words became stronger and stronger with a reinforced breath of hatred.

"At least his mother doesn't have to deal with him anymore."

And that was the final straw. There was no Kill or Joy to aid or distract me in this... just me as I took on the brunt of every lie.

"Shut up!" I flared my wings with a roar, standing on my hindlegs as I continually forced the gust through quivering lips, chipping away at every statue within the vicinity until there was nothing more to yell at. All of this was just a dream, though... never in Luna's millenia on the moon could I have drawn such raw power in an instant.

I sunk to my knees after my tantrum, stressed and drained in tears as I laid my head against the floor. "J-just please... leave me alone." The tears streamed onto the surface of the cobblestone path, filling the gaps around the sunken multicolored rocks within the concrete. I just laid there and cried... worthless and pathetic... without Kill and Joy, I finally caved in to the pressure of society.

Everypony was right about me being a monster. I had destroyed every statue and every cart in the Farmer’s Market. Chips and slabs of cement littered the street as well as the remains of wooden carts and squashed vegetation.  

Through my sobbing and beaten state, I heard one more voice, a hum... something that I hadn’t heard in a long, long time.

It was the hums of a lullaby... but, how did it go again?

Hush now, quiet now,

It's time to lay your sleepy head,

Hush now, quiet now,

It's time to go to bed.

Now I remember...

Drifting off to sleep,

The exciting day behind you,

Drifting off to sleep,

Let the joy of dreamland find you.

My ears perked up at the song... no, not the song, but the voice... that serene, beautiful voice. I knew both all too well.

Through the emotional strain, I looked up with heavy eyes and saw this one last statue of a pegasus, her hooves reaching out to the air as if she touched the melodic notes themselves, guiding them throughout Equestria for everypony to listen. Her mane was golden, just like Ditzy's. We shared the same cerulean coat, though hers was a bit heavier in shade. She even had the same red-violet eyes... something that used to be a welcomed, complement of a distinct feature--now a curse. The stoned figure before me was just like any other... no colour, no direct outlines, no label. But, a stallion never forgets the first mare he lays his eyes on.

That beautiful mare was my mother, and her name was Melody.

Her song continued, ignoring me as every statue else did. I embraced her by the hindlegs on which she balanced her weight on, grasping the statue and not ever wanting to let go. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear me, all I knew is that I had the chance to say those two words. Two words that I've wanted to say for so long.

"I'm sorry."

My tears had been dried, and I realize I'd fallen asleep by the statue from my weakened state. Only did the flapping of wings awaken me, echoing throughout the void of darkness without interruption as the song came to its end. Another living being, here?

"Graze," I heard my voice call out to me. It was Kill, the same size as me.The merriment in his voice always allowed me to distinguish his from Joy's sternness. But as of now... he was just lost for words. 

What do you say to pony who's just been reunited with his mother, only for you to be the one to part them in such a short time?

Kill hadn't a clue, but he said this.

"Joy's fighting Grim. We have to go. Please."

Next Chapter: Chapter Five: Hope Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 8 Minutes