“There he is!” Honeydew shouted, as she rounded Quills and Sofas. That unnatural, beastly gait was easy to spot, and Honeydew was great at spotting beasts. “Chase him out!”

The townsponies running with her charged against Lero, who attempted to hide behind Carousel Boutique. But Ponyville was working in accord–as a herd, as was natural–and ponies cut off his exit.

“You aren’t going to hide here anymore!” Honeydew shouted. “Why don’t you just leave? We don’t want you!”

Lero turned his head and smiled his horrible monkey smile, his fangs glistening like demons in the moonlight. “I'm sorry you don’t want me, Honeydew,” he said, his ghastly animalistic voice, a sick mockery of pony speak, cutting into her ears. “Because I surely want you.”

Lero was instantly upon Honeydew, pinning her down as her fellow townsponies only watched.

“Stop!” she sputtered, too surprised to scream. “H-help,” and it came out strangled and raspy, like an invisible hand was choking even that part of her brain that controlled speech.

“You’re mine now,” Lero whispered, silk dripping from his words, and he leaned in to kiss her.

Honeydew woke with a jerk, and blinked her eyes. “Stupid,” she mumbled, and quickly fell back to sleep.

“Okay Lero, are you ready?” Twilight said, as she lustfully eyed his naked body.

“Go for it!” Lero said.

Twilight’s horn lit purple, flashing throughout the laboratory section of her castle. Lyra and Rainbow Dash saved their vision from the bright blast, Dash by turning her head and throwing a foreleg over her face, and Lyra by gently bowing her head and closing her eyes.

When the flash was done, the two opened their eyes. Dash leapt to the air in joy. “It worked!”

Lero now had extra phalluses sprouted next to his original.

“Wow,” Lero said, as he handled his extra appendages. “Great work, Twilight.”

“Thanks!” Twilight said. “Now you can have sex with all of us at the same time!”

Lyra squinted. “Why are their four penis… penes?”

“Oh, this fourth one?” Lero said, patting the penis farthest left. “That one is for Honeydew.”

Honeydew backed into a corner as Lero and his herd suddenly turned on her, drool flowing from their disgustingly ripe lips as terrifying sexual howls escaped their sweat-soaked bodies.

“Guh!” Honeydew said, as she jerked awake. She sighed and pulled the cover closer to her chin, snuggling into her bed. “I had the most horrible dream.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lero said, as he rolled over and put an arm over her. “But don’t worry. I’ll keep you with me forever.”

Honeydew woke up screaming.

“Honeydew.”

“What?” Honeydew snarled, looking across the table.

Honeybee shared a glance with Honeysuckle before continuing. “Okay, Sis, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Honeydew said, as she failed to manipulate toast into her mouth.

“Sis, we heard you screaming last night.”

“So what?” Honeydew said, crumbs launching themselves from her mouth and spattering the table. “Mind your own business.”

“What business is it that our sister and housemate wakes up screaming? Gee, I dunno,” Honeybee said.

“Don’t get smart,” Honeydew said, wiping the table with her napkin, using rough strokes. “Just been having bad dreams, that’s all.”

“You’ve been having those a lot,” Honeybee said. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m not okay, I’m having nightmares!”

“You know what I mean,” Honeybee said with a sigh. “Is there something going on in your life? Maybe we could help.”

Honeydew spared a glance at her sisters. She didn’t dare tell them Lero was the subject of her dreams, especially considering what she dreamed about. It was horrible, how that monster infected her thoughts, her very privacy. That last one especially was the worst, those slimy arms reaching around her… and the way he said ‘forever’ was repulsively feminine, like some mare was speaking through him. Something needs to be done about him once and for all, she thought.

“I don’t think it’s anything like that,” Honeydew said, a little softer. “Just a rough patch I’m going through. I guess it’s stress.”

“Maybe you should cut back on all that volunteer work,” Honeybee said, but her query went unanswered as Honeydew managed to push the toast into her mouth.

“Um,” Honeysuckle broke in, looking back and forth between her sisters to make sure she wasn’t overstepping her boundaries, “how about… why don’t you complain?”

Honeydew raised an eyebrow. “Complain?”

“Yes. I mean, dreams are handled by Princess Luna, right? Maybe you could put in a complaint or something about the dreams you’ve been having.”

“How…” Honeydew stopped, trying to push this new idea through her tired brain. “That’s a great idea, if it works,” Honeydew said. “Maybe I could go to the town hall, figure out what I can do.” She smiled, and buttered her second slice of toast with a bit more gusto.

Honeybee and Honeysuckle shared a look, hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this house would be a little more peaceful in the future.

“You’re the only one who likes watching it flow into the bag,” Redheart said.

“It’s neat,” Honeydew said, watching her blood fill the bag. “I know it’s just simple physics, but things flowing gets me. I tried learning about, uh, pneumoniacs in physics class, but it was beyond me.”

Redheart smiled. “I’m glad you aren’t repulsed by it, then. Thanks for coming in this week. We could always use more D blood types.”

“Certainly glad to be useful,” Honeydew said. Redheart trotted out into the receptionist area.

Honeydew watched the blood flow into the bag, and cringed when she realized she used the term pneumoniacs. I know it isn't called that, she thought. Either Redheart didn’t know either, or she was pretending. Honeydew was embarrassedly agonizing over which one it was, when a tall shadow crossed over the bag. She looked up, and nearly heaved.

Lero had come into the lab.

“Just have a seat right here, Lero dear,” Redheart said, and Honeydew cringed at the ‘dear’ part. Why is she talking to that thing like it’s a pony?

“Thank you, nurse,” Lero said, as he took a seat in front of Honeydew. His tall frame caused him to cross his legs as he sat on the low chair. He saw Honeydew and grinned. “Good morning, Honeydupe.”

“Don’t flash your fangs at me, and don’t talk to me,” Honeydew said. “And it’s Honeydew, you ignorant ape. Why aren’t you at the vet?” It’s bad enough he invades my dreams, but why does he have to be here? And that awful blue feather in his ugly hair… ugh!

“Please, Honeydew,” Redheart said. “Show respect to your fellow patients.”

“Why is he even here? Who needs his blood?”

“Well, th-“

“I was talking to a pony,” Honeydew said, interrupting Lero. She kept her gaze on Redheart.

“I really don’t need to discuss hospital patients’ personal-“

“You can tell her, Redheart,” Lero said, putting a comforting hand on the upper part of Redheart’s coup. Honeydew bristled. How dare he touch a pony! Her rage was followed by shock as she saw a faint flash of crimson in Redheart’s cheeks. She… she likes that monster touching her! Is every mare in this town a pervert?

“Um… yes,” Redheart said, clearing her throat. “Well, the blood is for him, of course. We keep several liters of it in Ponyville, but Princess Twilight decided to start a bank in Canterlot as well.”

Honeydew grinded her teeth in rage. The very idea of preserving that thing’s live was an affront to Equestria. It should be treated like any other animal when wounded, just take it out back and put it out of its misery. Our misery. But here they are, planning on helping it when it gets injured. Disgusting!

“Ah, it looks like you’re finished, Honeydew,” Redheart said, approaching the brooding Honeydew. She prepared a gauze wrap and alcohol before removing the needle, and patched up the vein. “We’ll see you again next week, same time!”

“Thank you,” Honeydew managed to get out, as she slowly moved out of her chair. “Have a good day.” She felt proud on being able to maintain her composure after the awfulness she had to endure.

“See you later, Hurrneydurr,” Lero said.

“It’s Honeydew!” Honeydew shouted.

Honeydew stomped toward city hall, it's banners flying proudly. She hoped there was some way to stop these awful dreams. She tried to harden her face into an angry grimace so as to discourage ponies from talking to her. She just didn’t have the time.

She marched into city hall. She deciding to head for information, hoping they could point her in the right direction. She couldn’t help but feel a chill when she walked past the small meeting room next to the entrance. It was where Princess Celestia had discussed her complaint of Lero attacking Shimmer, and that memory still had power to chill.

Honeydew huffed as Lyra left the meeting room in the town hall. It was ridiculous, treating that monster like he deserved rights. Actually asking him his side of the story? There was no sense to it. Why can’t they see what I see?

Honeydew tapped the wooden table, the top near the middle worn down with age, probably by countless nervous ponies waiting like her.

The door swung open, and Honeydew performed a double-take.

“Good evening, Ms. Honeydew.”

“Princess Celestia,” Honeydew said, hopping from the chair and bowing immediately. That awful Lyra was with her too, and Honeydew could only feel perplexed. What lies did greenie tell the Princess about me?

“You may rise,” Celestia said, and Honeydew did so. “I apologize for surprising you with my presence, Honeydew. Any matter that involves Lero involves me as well. I must make sure my ponies are protected.”

Honeydew grinned despite herself. Good, she thought. The Princess knows he can't be trusted, too.

“I never doubted, your highness,” Honeydew said. “He’s… he’s an awful beast.”

“Please explain your report,” Celestia said. Honeydew was taken aback by her blunt manner, but decided that she’s probably really busy. Honeydew repeated what she had told Lyra.

“-and that’s why he should be kicked out of Ponyville immediately,” Honeydew said. “He’s dangerous, and the proof is in how he attacked Shimmer.”

Celestia and Lyra had stood throughout Honeydew’s recap of the altercation. Honeydew was bursting with excitement and being able to explain to Princess Celestia that Lero was a dangerous threat, and had to force herself to not pace or sway in her excitement.

“Pardon me, Honeydew, but your report contradicts all eyewitness accounts,” Lyra said, playing the role of ‘stern cop’ to Celestia’s ‘gentle cop’. Honeydew had read enough police procedurals to recognize the technique.

“Well, yes, that doesn’t surprise me,” Honeydew said, having paused to force herself not to spit her words at Lyra. “But they don’t know Lero like I know him. They didn’t see what he was up to.”

“How do you see Lero?” Celestia said.

“He’s a monster,” Honeydew said, shaking with nervousness. “A beast, nothing like a pony. They-”, and Honeydew paused, realizing that she was, by association, implying bad things to Twilight Sparkle—Celestia’s student. As much as Honeydew didn’t like Twilight, she wasn’t going to make that mistake. She swallowed.

“Well, um, I think… I think us ponies always look for the best side in everyone, but we’re trying too hard with… with Lero here. We’re letting what we want to see… I mean, ponies here in Ponyville… what we want to see is goodness, but-but we’re just reflecting our own goodness onto him. I mean, he isn’t good.”

Celestia moved like water in the windowless room, her slippers making soft clicks against the tile floor, a strangely muted sound, like distant bells trilling at midnight.

“Honeydew, tell me about your cutie mark.”

Honeydew’s eyes shot open in surprise. “Well… it’s sort of abstract. It’s three blades of grass with shiny dew on the tips, with smiley faces… like, like Cheerilee’s cutie mark. It means I’m refreshing, like dew. I first got it when I helped an elderly mare shop for groceries, because she couldn’t do it herself. I enjoyed it so much, helping her, and before I knew it, my cutie mark appeared.”

“That’s wonderful,” Celestia said, with a smile that seemed a little too tense to Honeydew. “Do you do volunteer work now?”

“Yes, your highness,” Honeydew said. “I donate blood at the hospital once a week. I also organize cleanups and beautification projects in and around Ponyville. I set up a service for the older ponies that need some help getting basic things done… I also visit an orphanage in another town, once a week.”

“Do you ever help non-ponies?”

“No,” Honeydew said. Sourness grabbed her muzzle. “It’s… for ponies.”

“I’m glad you look out for your fellow ponies,” Celestia said. “When Lero first arrived, I made sure to let him know that any one that hurt my little ponies would answer to me.”

Honeydew careful concealed her reaction, but inside she was thrilled. Lero hurt Shimmer, and now he was going to pay!

“But Honeydew, I want you to understand; Lero is a subject of Equestria, and any pony that hurts him must also answer to me.”

Honeydew fell back on her haunches. “Ma’am—your highness?”

“I believe you’re letting your irrational hate and distrust of non-ponies interfere with your reason.”

Honeydew’s jaw dropped. She didn’t notice Lyra’s subtle smirk.

“I am throwing out your report.” Princess Celestia said. “It approaches libel. Furthermore, Sargent Lyra has told me of an incident involving you and your sisters and Rainbow Dash. I strongly encourage you to avoid Mr. Bellerophon and his herd, if you are unable to comport yourself as befits a pony.”

Celestia paused, and attempted to soften her features. “Your volunteer work is fantastic, and I am truly proud that you help your fellow ponies. I feel that perhaps your severe xenophobia is an unfortunate side-effect of your special talent. Either way, I never want to hear that you’ve harassed Mr. Lero or his herd again. Do you understand?”

Fighting back tears, Honeydew said, “Yes, your highness.”

“Thank you, Honeydew. You may leave now.”

A pause as Honeydew collected her wits. She bowed low, eyes closed, and the stood to leave, burning with shame that she had to walk past her Royal Highness in this state.

“Honeydew,” Celestia said gently.

Honeydew stopped, and looked up.

“Lero is a very gentle stallion, and would never willingly hurt another pony. In fact, I am positive that he would sooner hurt himself. You have nothing to fear from him. Please consider my words.”

“Y-yes, your highness.”

“Thank you, Honeydew,” Celestia said, with a comforting smile. “Please have a good night, my dear.”

Honeydew bowed again, and left the room.

A gentle stallion.

Would never hurt a pony.

How could I have been so wrong about Lero? Honeydew thought. He’s not some mindless beast. He’s a cunning, evil monster who even has Princess Celestia under his sway. He’s much more eviler than I thought he was.

Honeydew shook her head, as a frustrated tear fell down her cheek. How am I going to stop him? she thought. How can I make them see the truth when he can even brainwash Princess Celestia?

It was an awful situation, and Honeydew knew she simply wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to solve it.

But right now, there was a more immediate problem to deal with.

“Excuse me,” Honeydew said. “Is there a dream department, or department of dreams, or something like that?”

The grey pegasus mare sitting in the information kiosk nodded a violent ‘yes’ to Honeydew’s question.

“Yes indeedy!” Muffins said. “You want an application to work there?”

“No, I want a complaint form,” Honeydew said. She almost couldn’t continue, so afraid of being made a laughingstock. “I don’t like dreams I’ve been having.”

“Oh, we can take care of that,” and for the first time in weeks, Honeydew felt hope. “You’ll need to go to the office clerk and pick up a complaint form.” Muffins grabbed a note and, making dexterous use of her wings, wrote down a series of letters, numbers, and dashes. “Hand this to the clerk, and you’ll be all set!”

Honeydew was in a good enough mood now that she actually thanked Muffins instead of just walking off. She took the note in her mouth and headed to the clerk counter.

The clerk, already looking harried despite the early hour, took the note out of Honeydew’s mouth, squinted at the cryptographic writing, and headed toward one of the files, sliding it open and taking out a form. “This’ll do it,” he said.

“Thank you,” Honeydew said, as she took the form to one of the writing desks jammed up against the wall.

The heading at the top of the form was a stylized font, full of cuticles and swirls, that spelled out, ‘Ministry of Dreaming’. Below that, in a more businesslike font, was spelled ‘Complaint Form’ with the code Muffins had written down stamped below that in smaller type. That mare knows her forms, Honeydew thought.

She filled out the normal info, and balked when she got to the actual complaint part. She was actually going to have to write down what dreams she was having that she found disagreeable. It was bad enough to have dreams of a sexual nature with that monster, but for someone else to read about it was just too much. How many hooves would this pass through until it got to someone who could fix her problem? How many ponies would know about her... her…

Honeydew groaned and laid her head on the desk. That doesn’t matter, she thought. I want these dreams to stop. She gritted her teeth and raised her head, writing out her dreams in strong, slashing strokes, taking out her anger and hatred on this poor complaint form. She still had enough presence of mind to keep her writing legible, though.

You’ll pay for this, Lero, Honeydew thought.

Honeydew brought the completed form back to the clerk. Her cheeks burned in anger and embarrassment, knowing her awful and evil dreams were going to soon be revealed.

The clerk didn’t even glance at the sheet. “Don’t give that to me,” he said. “You’ll hand it over when you visit the Dream office.”

“Well, I have to go through Canterlot today anyway,” Honeydew said. She frowned as a thought hit her. “Why can’t you just mail it?”

“It’s not in Canterlot,” the clerk said “It’s the office of the Ministry of Dreams, so you dream it.”

It took Honeydew a couple of seconds to process what she just heard. “You dream it?”

“Well, yes,” the clerk said. “When you go to sleep tonight, you’ll visit the office.”

This is a trick, Honeydew thought. I bet Lero or one of those nags set me up to this. Did they get to Honeysuckle? “How will they know I have an appointment to just show up in my dream?” Honeydew said.

“You know about it,” the clerk said. “So you’ll dream it, and that’ll be enough. They have totally flexible hours, since time doesn’t mean anything in a dream.”

Honeydew growled with rage, grabbed her complaint form, and took off in a trot out of the office. She calmed down enough to start thinking rationally as she approached her hut, empty as both of her sisters had work to do–Honeybee for the weather service, and Honeysuckle at her stall.

She spat out the form onto her dresser, and grabbed her saddlebags, already packed for her trip that day. She put them on, tore off the bandage around her neck, and headed for the train station.

An hour later and Honeydew trotted happily across the shiny and lacquered pine slats of Beavertron station, smiling at the ticket master, who returned her smile.

It was always a happy occasion for Honeydew when she visited Beavertron, once a week. Now that was a town that knew how to operate. It was designed in an efficient grid pattern, unlike Ponyville which started as a circle (from when the founders circled their wagons). It was a thriving community, with a fancy indoor theatre, art museum, an observatory, and some kind of weird science lab where they studied explosions or something.

The lab made Honeydew deeply uneasy.

“Oh, that’s just some frequency thing going on in there,” one of the locals said, an earth pony mare named Crocus who was busy patching up a road. “They slap them rocks together, and it lets off a low frequency hum that seems to make ponies feel uncomfortable. That’s all it is. They gotta wear ear mufflers when they do it.”

Honeydew had got close to it one time, to see if she could feel the hum. Not a brave pony, but nosy sometimes, and she wanted to experience this humming now that she knew what it was.

Yes, there is a humming, she thought, when she got close to the granite building. There was something else, though. She high-stepped right next to the wall, and placed her ear on the surface, to see if she could better hear that mysterious undercurrent of sound.

That sound was screaming. Horrific screaming, like millions of ponies being burned alive, and then the stench of rotten eggs filled Honeydew’s nostrils. She gasped and ran away as fast as she could.

She never walked next to that building again.

But all that wasn’t why she came to Beavertron. It was for the orphanage.

There weren’t many orphanages in Equestria, as orphaned children were quickly taken in by relatives, and they were always provided stipends from the government to make raising them easier. However, some ponies did fall through the cracks, either because of a lack of relatives, or just simple bad luck.

Honeydew wasn’t an orphan (though she sometimes wished she had been, considering her mother and that monster she shared her bed with… don’t think about that now), but that didn’t stop her from offering her services. Why her not being an orphan should even matter wasn’t a question she asked herself; she just thought it was an interesting coincidence.

“You always come at the right time,” Morning Star said, rubbing a white plate dry with a cloth. “Shining One was sick today, and I really needed the help.”

Morning Star and Honeydew stood bipedal as they cleaned the dishes, Honeydew washing them and Morning Star drying them. Honeydew enjoyed playing with the children, but she knew it was more than just fun and games. There was so much going on in the background that had to be done to keep this orphanage up, and Honeydew was glad to be a part of it.

“Aww, that’s too bad,” Honeydew said. “What’s wrong?”

“Just a little cold, I think,” Morning Star said. “Personally, I think she’s been reading romances all night. You know she’s actually trying to write one of those things?”

“Well, good for her,” Honeydew said, flatly.

Morning Star raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like you mean it.”

Honeydew sighed. “Just broken dreams,” she said. “I wanted to be a writer, too. My literature teacher said I had great talent, and expected me to be published. My school counselor wondered if it was a secondary talent related to my special talent, since volunteering doesn’t pay the bills.”

“That’s fantastic!” Morning Star said. “But why did you stop?”

“Well, I actually started working on novel for a while,” Honeydew said. She passed the last dish to Morning Star and reached into the sink, to pull the plug. “I was pretty excited about it. I was over halfway done–I had written about forty thousand words.”

“That’s amazing,” Morning Star said.

“Thanks,” Honeydew said. “Well… um, one day I came back home, and it turned out my… my mother was snooping around in my room. She found it, read it, and burned most of it.”

The dishes clanked together as Morning Star dropped her stack in surprise. Fortunately, they were close to the bottom of the cabinet, and didn’t break. “That’s horrible!”

“That’s not half of it,” Honeydew said, her weak attempt at smiling causing the side of her mouth to twitch. Why am I talking about my mother? “She salvaged some of the pages and marked them with her awful ‘corrections’. I got mad at her, but she told me I was too stupid to be a good writer, and to give it up.”

“I’m so sorry,” Morning Star said.

“It’s okay,” Honeydew said. “I don’t know why I brought it up.”

She used the wet washcloth and a small trickle of cold water to wipe the sink. The gentle pater of water, the cool feeling as it rolled down her hooves, and the soft rubbing of the mesh washcloth almost put her in a trancelike state.

From far away, Morning Star’s voice came in. “How did she treat your sisters?”

“Badly,” Honeydew said. Questions about her mother always made her angry, but the delectable sounds and sensations were like a muzzle on that slavering beast. “Don’t feel like talking about mother, sorry.”

“Your sisters didn’t stand up for you, did they?”

“Mmm,” Honeydew said.

Then, right in her ear, like a command, Morning Star said, “You should kill them.”

“Guh,” Honeydew said, dropping the washcloth. She looked up and saw Morning Star standing in the doorway.

“Wh-what?”

“I said thanks for your help!” Morning Star said with a smile. “Let’s say bye to the kids before you leave.”

“Okay,” Honeydew said, gritting her teeth, as anger flashed over her. What’s wrong with me, she thought. It’s Lero, of course. Lack of sleep. I’ve got to get rid of those stupid dreams once and for all.

Honeydew lifted a pegasus filly into the air, letting her flap her wings and giggle, before setting her back down.

“Can fwy!” the filly said. She ran toward her friends, hopping and flapping her wings.

“Me next!” shouted Ri-An, the griffon orphan. He hopped on Honeydew’s lap, and giggled as Honeydew’s hooves automatically reached around him.

Why is this thing here? Honeydew thought. Don’t they know how dangerous it is? What those claws can do to ponies? Her hooves reached up to his neck.

Ri-An looked up quizzically. “What are you doing?”

Honeydew huffed and stood up, causing Ri-An to flutter his wings as he landed on the floor. “I’ve got to get going, okay kids? I’ll see you all next week.”

A chorus of good byes accompanied her on the way out. She hugged Morning Star a bit tersely, and headed toward the door. Usually her leaving the orphanage was slightly more drawn out, but she wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. To Tartarus with Beavertron, she thought. She didn’t even go to Aether Fields, a hilly splotch of land where a forest used to be, fifty years ago before it was cut down to build the town. She just wanted out, and it was happening now.

Later on, miles after the train had left Beavertron, Honeydew made her way to the bathroom, locked herself in, and burst into tears.

“You’re going to the dream office?” Honeybee asked.

“I better be,” Honeydew snapped. “This better not be a joke. If it is, that receptionist has something coming.”

Honeybee and Honeysuckle shared a glance.

Honeydew slammed down her fork into her salad, splashing oil and vinegar onto the table. “Stop doing that! Just say something, alright?”

“Sis, we’re just concerned, that’s all.”

“That makes two of us,” Honeydew said.

Three of us, Honeysuckle thought.

“I don’t know why you even care, ‘Bee,” Honeydew said. “You don’t care about that monster humping-”

“Don’t start,” Honeybee said. Though they patched up their relationship somewhat after the lake incident, Lero was still a sore point. And will probably always be, Honeybee thought.

Honeydew dropped her fork. “Forget this,” she said. “I’m tired, I’ve had a rough day, I’m going to bed. Maybe it’ll work or maybe it won’t.”

“We’re rooting for you,” Honeysuckle said, as Honeydew left the table. Honeydew didn’t respond.

Honeydew angrily tossed her sheets around as she struggled to go to bed. I’m so tired I can’t sleep, she thought. That doesn’t even make any sense.

She turned over again, and stared at the complaint form sitting on her dresser, underneath a prism she used as a paperweight, the corner edge chipped from an incident with her mother. She felt fear that the whole thing was a prank Lero played on her, that he was putting himself in her dreams on purpose to mess with her. She didn’t know how he did it, but he was sure it was all him. Well, if this doesn’t work, then I know who’s gonna pay, she thought. The air felt cooler, and she wondered if she forgot to turn off the bathroom lantern light.

Honeydew looked around.

She was sitting on a plaid cloth couch, next to two cherry wood tables with magazines on them, the titles with unreadable letters that were difficult to focus on. She looked around the room.

This is a waiting room, she thought. The walls were coated with art and knickknacks. There were two clocks on the wall, a mechanical clock that had a phoenix pop out of a wooden door to tell the time, and a black cat clock with a pendulum tail swinging idly. That’s a real cat with a clock in it, she thought. The hour and minute hands on both clocks, however, didn’t move.

The highly waxed brick floor was shiny, reflecting the warm light from the oil lanterns that adorned each wall. The room seemed brighter than was possible with the limited light, and two other ponies were in the waiting room with her.

“Honeydew,” a voice announced, “Please see the administrator.”

“Uh,” Honeydew said, as she hopped out of the chair. Her hooves clacked against the brick floor, and she headed for a shiny white painted door, ornately carved with vines, sporting a brass handle. Above the door was a plaque with jumbled words that Honeydew was able to read as ‘Administrator’.

She hooked her hoof into the handle and pushed open the door.

“Hiya!” Pinkie Pie said, sitting behind a massive oak desk covered in papers.

“Pinkie Pie?” Honeydew said, mouth agape.

“Honeydew?” Pinkie Pie said. Then she giggled. “Well, that’s a fun game, now what?”

Honeydew sighed, and sat on one of the many cushions strewn around the desk. The cushion was a red velvet pillow with six large buttons, three by three, and it was oddly comfortable. She decided not to worry about how she was able to see eye-to-eye with Pinkie while laying down on the floor. It’s a dream, after all. “How did you get here?”

“I work here!” Pinkie said. “I mean, it’s my night job. I administrate the complaint thing. And believe me, we are sooo behind. Like, a whole millennium behind. Ugh.” Pinkie hoofed her cheeks, stretching them down. “But it’s okay! I threw out a bunch of the old ones, because, you know, they’re all dead now.”

“How did you even get this job?”

“Princess Luna gave it to me!” Pinkie said. “It was something like,” and Pinkie stood on her hind legs, frosted up her lip, and mustered up regality, “‘I tire of your constant dream hopping and interfering with my plans,’” —Pinkie plopped back down behind the desk— “and offered me this job instead. But it’s cool, because I get to dream at the same time, too! I mean, this is a dream, but I’m having another dream too! I can’t dream hop anymore because I’m concentrating too much on this job, but I’m not bored or anything!”

Honeydew pushed out most of Pinkie’s crazy words, and jumped right to the point. “Well… I have some problems with my dreams.”

Pinkie’s nod was a violent bobbing of her head. “Of course, that’s why you’re here! Now just give me your complaint form, and I’ll go over it!” Pinkie thrust out a hoof at Honeydew.

“Well…” Honeydew said, “I seem to have forgotten my form.”

Pinkie Pie gasped. “But if you don’t have your form, I can’t help you! Where is it?”

Honeydew concentrated, trying to break through this dream world and its vague and hazy grasp on her memory. “My dresser, I think.”

“Well you’ll just have to go and get it!”

Honeydew woke up.

“Bleah,” she mumbled, as she tossed the sheets off of her body. She rolled out of bed and stumbled toward her dresser, the utter blackness not hiding her memory on how many steps it took to get to the dresser from the bed. “Stupid… could have just told her,” she said.

She grabbed the complaint form in her mouth and managed to make her way back to her bed. She barely got the covers over her hips before falling asleep.

“Thank you!” Pinkie Pie said, as she swiped the form out of Honeydew’s mouth. Honeydew jerked, looked around, and remembered where she was. Knowing what was on the sheet, and seeing Pinkie Pie read it, made her cringe into her cushion. She tried to work herself into not caring.

“This is confidential, right?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Pinkie said, in way of acknowledgement. Then she gasped, and held the sheet away from her at forelegs length. “You have sexy dreams about Lero?”

The barrier of protection for her ego Honeydew was trying to build crashed. She defended herself with that tired and true fortress so close to her personality—anger.

“I don’t want those dreams!” Honeydew shouted. “I’m not doing them on purpose! They’re awful!”

“But I love having sexy dreams about Lero!” Pinkie Pie said. “Why would you want to get rid of them?”

Honeydew’s anger turned into confusion. “wh-what?”

Pinkie Pie looked into the distance beyond the wall and into her memories, a lazy smile spreading across her lips. “And I love having sexy dreams about Twilight, and Dashie, and Fluttershy, and Rarity, and Applejack, and Big Macintosh, and Mr. and Ms. Cake, and trees, and Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, and hoofball semi-final championships, and Soarin, and Lyra, and Bon Bon, and courage, and Mayor Mare, and outer space, and dolphins, and Cranky Doodle and Mathilda, and Princess Luna, and Mau-”

“Pinkie!” Honeydew shouted. “I don’t care about that! I just want my dreams about Lero to stop.”

“Oh, we can do that,” Pinkie said, a little deflated. A canister shuffled down a pneumatic tube into her office with silky hissing and jumped onto her desk. “I’ll go ahead and send this on to processing,” Pinkie said, unscrewing the top of the cylinder. She peered into it, and held it upside down over her desk. She slapped the bottom with her hoof, and Gummy fell out. He blinked.

“Hi Gummy!” Pinkie said.

“I’ve seen things you ponies wouldn’t believe,” Gummy said. “Attack ships on f-”

“Sorry, but mommy’s busy right now!” Pinkie Pie opened a desk draw and slid Gummy into it, and shut it with a slam.

She rolled Honeydew’s form and placed it in the cylinder, pushing it into the opening of the pneumatic tube, and pushed the send button, watching the vast mechanical lungs suck the cylinder to the receiving office… wherever that is.

“There!” Pinkie Pie said. “All set! Receiving will start processing your request immediately.”

Honeydew couldn’t help but let out a victorious, relieved laugh. Finally, those awful, evil nightmares would stop ruining her sleep (and her day).

“It should take four to sex weeks for it to go into effect.”

Honeydew choked on her laugh. “What?”

“We now return you to your regularly scheduled dream.”

“Wait-”

Drenched in sweat, breathing hard, Honeydew was on her back as Lero towered over her, lengthwise, one hand cradling her head while the other hand oh-so slowly traveled down her hip.

Lero leaned into her ear and whispered, “The ride will never end.” He pressed his lips against hers.

Honeydew woke up screaming.

Honeydew stumbled around the Ponyville night with her hate shining brightly.

“Blasted… Pinkie… what good are you?” she grumbled, trudging through the grassy alleys in the neighborhood where she and her sisters lived. She made her way to the fountain, reflecting the partly cloudy night. She cast a hateful glance at Twilight’s castle, now ruining the Ponyville skyline with its stupid, garish design. She would kick it down with her bare hooves if she could.

Her anger toward Pinkie faded away, because, ultimately, she wasn’t the problem. The problem was Lero. It was always Lero.

She couldn’t think of him without flashes from those dreams, those awful dreams where he would breathe in her ear, or caress her body with those evil hands, and, worst of all, that last dream where he kissed her. She gritted her teeth, and blinked back tears, because the absolute worst thing, the most evil thing about those dreams, is that they felt good. There was no greater sadness, no greater self-loathing, than knowing this simple fact. She trembled, knowing that the way these dreams were progressing, that she’d eventually dream them having sex.

She sniffed, holding her eyes shut to stop crying. I will not cry over this. It isn’t worth it. It’s not my fault. It’s Lero! Why can’t any pony see this!

She exhaled quickly, as a feeling of otherworldly calm descended over her. The solution was so simple, so obvious, that she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before.

I’m going to kill Lero.

She knew she wasn’t smart enough to plan his murder without getting caught. This wouldn’t be a perfect murder. She’d get arrested and exiled, simple as that. She knew she wouldn’t be considered valuable enough to face demolition, but she was glad of that. Being demolished would probably change her viewpoint toward Lero, would actually make her feel bad for killing him. Maybe even like non-ponies! I’d kill myself first, she thought with a shiver.

She tried to plan the murder in her head. No subtlety. Just run up to him, get that Earth pony magic good and strong, and bash his head in. That’s it, she thought. Maybe I could kick so hard it’d knock his head off. He’s pretty weak, so I could do it. I’d get his blood on me, but it’d be worth it. I’d be saving ponykind.

Honeydew thought of Celestia, and knew she’d be disappointed in her. Ponies would hate her. It can’t be helped, she thought. I have to save them.

She rounded the corner, facing the bakery, and there he was.

But of course it wasn’t going to be easy. Lyra was with him, and they were both sitting on a bench, leaning close to each other, whispering to each other. Lyra kissed him on the mouth, and Honeydew retched.

Damn you greenie, Honeydew thought. How can you let that thing do that to you? Why have you sunk so low? Her anger built up. A test, she thought. I’ll open my magic. Will she notice? Would I be able to get away with it if I tried this when he’s alone?

Let’s see if she notices, Honeydew decided. She opened inside, and felt the earth magic flow from the ground into her limbs.

Lyra broke the kiss, and looked into Lero’s eyes, her horn lighting up. Lero smiled, his gentle hazel eyes staring into her own. They shared one breath now, and that secret, special place Lyra had in his heart, and the secret, special place Lero had in her heart, opened and met. Their love flowed into each other, and it touched Lyra's magic.

Like a circuit, the earth recognized it, and it flowed into Honeydew.

She sat down hard on her haunches, and her door of perception closed shut.

“Wh… what?”

Lero and Lyra hugged each other. They hopped off the bench, and made their way to his house.

Tiny gasps escaped from Honeydew. She then rushed toward the bushes and vomited.

Honeybee, in the warmth of her bed, groaned and shoved her wings around her ears. Not again, she thought. Once again Honeydew’s stupid racket woke her up. She heard Honeysuckle’s voice, urgent, and tossed her pillow away as she sat up to listen.

Is Honeydew crying?

She hopped out of bed and rushed toward the parlor.

Honeydew was on the floor, sobbing, tears rolling down her cheeks, as she clutched an increasingly worried Honeysuckle.

“What happened?” Honeybee said, fully awake now. She extended her wings around Honeydew, trying to comfort her crying sister.

“I don’t know!” Honeysuckle said. “I’ve never seen her like this before!”

“They love each other!” Honeydew shouted. “I don’t understand! I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t-”

“Sis!” Honeybee said. “What are you talking about!”

“M-monsters aren’t supposed… he loves back! He l-l-,” and sick sobbing burst from Honeydew again.

“Sis! Are you talking about Lero?” Honeybee said.

Honeydew pushed her face into Honeysuckle’s chest, and sobbed again.

“I don’t understand,” she said, muffled. “I don’t understand.”

Eventually, she calmed down enough that Honeysuckle and Honeybee were able to coax her into bed. Her crying died down, and she fell to sleep.

She woke up the next morning to sunlight and robins singing. She blinked the sleep away, and realized she didn’t dream.

It didn’t make her feel any better.