[My conscience Kill writes in the brackets and bolded]

    <  My conscience Joy writes in these and  Italics>

         { I respond in these}  

Epic New Fic BLAMMO!

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The other ponies and I stood by our usual and obvious partner of choice, Ditzy and I, Ice and Pinkie, Light and Trixie, Dark and Twilight, Shot and AppleJack, Breeze and FlutterShy. Last but not least, Vine and Rainbow Dash..... Wow, our first alternative family.... well other than Octavia, Vinyl and Lyra and Bon Bon.

RedCross stood in front of the class and began his speech," Excellent, now that you are in pairs, I can finally explain what is going to happen," RedCross facehoofed," Well, not me but Mr. Charge."

* BAM* The classroom door was kicked open when a small rolling desk with a projector was driven by our one and only, Celestia damn beloved, Mr. Freaking Charge.

" Good day students," he said calmly with an evil smile.... That damn smile! IT NEVER MEANT ANYTHING GOOD. He looked at me with a bemused face reading my mind, he then continued" Anyways, today I'm going to teach you about proper foal care."

Oh yes! That's right, Dark was Mr. Charge's son.

" First thing you need to know, you need to be extra responsible as you are taking care of another living being other than yourself, hopefully this lesson will teach some of you to be more responsible," Mr. Charge began talking as he pulled down a white sheet like material for the viewing of such images from the projector.

[ Heh, no shit...]

He looked at me. Great, what did I do now," Would you kindly, take off the lights for me Graze?" he asked kindly.

< HOLY SHIT!! WE ARE GONNA GET RAPED!>

I walked to the switch which was near the door.

[ Look, all you have to do, is take off the lights, let everyone else here take the dicking and run for your life ]

I stared at the switch for a few seconds, honestly, I didn't know why my mind was thinking like that but maybe it was just the twice near rape encounters including the Mating Season period.

* WHAP!* One of those demon text books was thrown as a projectile at me," Hurry Up Graze, the class is waiting."

[ TO GET THE " DROP SOAP" TREATMENT ]

< Analized >

I quickly turned off the lights and rushed close too Ditzy not wanting to get hit by another book.

[ Your faith has been sealed]

I looked at one of Mr. Charge's consciences literally walk on air by Kill and Joy, slap them and tell me," Honestly Graze, I know you're paranoid but I don't do that sorta stuff."

I nodded in an apologetic manner and paid attention to Mr. Charge as he had turned on the projector, showing a picture of a foal Dark in a bath tub without a smile...... Well played Silent Charge, you have won my respect.

A few snickers from the class were heard here and there," Okay class, since these are mechanic foals, bathing won't be necessary as I think you ponies know how to scrub your balls.''

...... What.......The.......Fuck.........

He then flipped the image showing a foal Dark, nude, as the Silent Charge in the image tried putting on diapers to the foal.

I just wanted to make a tease out of Dark," Hahahaha! WOW DARK! ARE THEY THE SAME SIZE?"

" WHAT?!! NO!! DAD CHANGE THAT PIC!!" Dark said obviously embarassed as Twilight gave me a glare telling me that I should have known better.

*WHAP!* Mr. Charge threw a book at Dark," Now son, I am not finished with my lesson," he said showing a bit of troll in his expression.

" So... Dark...." Ice began slowly.

" Ughh... Yes Ice?" Dark said.

" How do you clop what you can't see?" Ice said calmly which made the whole situation funnier.

Dark facehoofed," Fuck YOU! ICE! How do you even survive with those snowballs?"

*WHAP WHAP!* Mr. Charge silenced them both with his usual and preferred method.

Light whispered something to Vine which made her only snicker, Vine nodded her head and looked at Twilight.

" So... Twilight.... Do you FEEL anything," Vine emphasised on the word "Feel" making sure even Twilight understood. Light was obviously smart as he knew Vine won't get hit by a book.

*WHAP* Correction: He was not AS smart as Mr. Charge who had just thrown yet another book at Light. Honestly, does he just pull these books out of his ass? YOU LITERALLY CAN'T SEE THEM UNLESS HE THROWS THEM.

Twilight blushed immensely and snapped at Vine," OH YEAH! WELL YOU AND DASH ARE BOTH MARES, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?!"

" Bitch, I'm gonna cut you," Vine said," And if you wanna know how it feels again, I have a cactus with your name on it."

" ALRIGHT PONIES, STOP!" Breeze shouted calming everypony down," Can we just listen to Mr. Charge and get this over with?" Breeze was the only one sensible making a better example than the rest of us, FlutterShy nodded behind him silently and encouraged him.

" Yeah.... well... that's if you want to .... I mean... if you don't mind," FlutterShy shied away.

" Yeah, c'mon ponies, the faster we get this done, the faster we can start our assignment and finish," Shot said agreeing with Breeze.

" Yeah c'mon mares, Ah reckon this is going to be ah hard task without this info," AppleJack said backing up her colt friend.

A random mare came up from the group and announced," Yeah! Come on, we need to stop the fighting!  I wish we can all get along like we used to in middle school..... I wish that I can bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles," Rainbow Dash looked at her sort of frightened [ CUPCAKES ANYPONY?!]

She continued as all our classmates paid attention to her emotional driven speech," and we can all be happy."

Pinkie Pie shouted," SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE! I know everypony in this school!"

RedCross looked at her," Do you even go to this school?"

"..... No... I just have a lot of feelings,"

Mr. Charge looked at her," ....... Bitch get the Fuck out."

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After a two hour long slide and talk with Mr. Charge and foal care, we exited the class each pair with a strangely looking mechanical life like foal in a basket.

Pinkie Pie bounced with the two foals in one basket," OOOOOOoooo I think I'm going to call you Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake."

-----------------------MILES AWAY IN PONYVILLE, SUGARCUBE CORNER------------------------

Mr. Cake shrugged at a certain thought and feeling as he spoke to Mrs. Cake," Hun?"

"Yeah?"

" I don't think we should name our future children, Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake."

" *Gasp* Why not?!" She exclaimed curiously.

" I don't know......"

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We were each only allowed one foal but Pinkie insisted that had gotten two.... Poor Ice.

[ What a brave son of a bitch]

< Yeah..... What we gonna name ours?>

" Hey Graze? What are we going to name ours? Even though we may only have 'it' for two days," Ditzy said as she walked with me to her dorm with the basket clenched in my mouth...... Honestly, I think she just read my mind.

" Hmmmmm.... I really don't know, I guess we can think of one later... Don't get too attached though, it's only for a project.... By the way, I am not good with babies at all, I've had some bad experiences," I said managing to actually speak a proper sentence with the basket in my mouth.

" I'm sure that we can get through this together," Ditzy said as we slowly trotted.

" Heh, sure.... by the way, these things are mechanical.... so how do they work?" I questioned.

" WAAAAHHHHH WAAHHHH!!" The foal cried in horrible timing and convenience.

I suddenly remembered one things Charge had said," These foals are like real life so they eat, shit, sleep and need to be taken care of as it was a foal."

I suddenly placed the basket on the floor gently, picked up the foal, sat on the floor and rocked it back to sleep.

" Wow Graze, you will make an awesome daddy," Ditzy said amazed at my skills.

" Well hopefully to our foal one day," I said to Ditzy confident in our relationship.

" One day.... and I can't wait for it...." She said nuzzling me after I placed the foal back in its basket.

------------------- THREE A.M ----------------------------

" WAAAAAHHHHHH WAAAAHHHHH WAAHHHH!!" The crying was more intense than it was ever before, waking both me and Ditzy up.

" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!" I SHOUTED," I CHANGED YOUR FUCKING DIAPER! I FED YOU THAT BOTTLE OF CRAP CHARGE GAVE US! I EVEN SOMEHOW MADE YOU BUCKING BELCH! YOU'RE A CELESTIA DAMN ROBOT!! HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING ALL OF THIS?! I ROCKED YOU TOO DAMN SLEEP!"

" GRAZE!! CALM DOWN IT'S JUST A CHILD!" Ditzy shouted trying to calm me down.

The crying suddenly stopped," .... Thanks Ditzy."

" WAAAAAHHHHHH WAAAAHHHHH WAAHHHH!!" I stood quietly in one spot with an expression showing confusion, horror and loss of sanity.

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* KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* Was the sound of a hammer slamming down a piece of wood gaining the attention from the court.

" Court is now in session!" The judge pony shouted looking a lot like Mr. Charge," Now..... Mr. Graze, did you or did you not throw this foal out of the window?"

" IT'S A DAMN MACHINE!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THING PROGRAMMED TO MAKE ME LOSE MY SANITY!!"

" Oh no it's not, it was a life and was still your responsibility....You have also admit to committing this crime of violence upon a foal which is illegal in any country, state or cloud of Equestria.... I hereby sentence you to be exiled to the moon."

Princess Celestia then randomly appeared, walking up from the jury and staring at me," So, Graze.... Are a mmmmmmmmm beeytch that likes bananas."

" WHAT?!"

" WELL! YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO BANANAS ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN-AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!  BEEEYYEETTCHHH!!!!"

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* POW POW* Ditzy held me with one of her hooves worried, slapping me with another bringing me back to reality," GRAZE SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

* POW POW*

" Wait, wha--?" I said confused still hearing the crying from the baby.

" We can't afford to give up! Try and sing it a lullaby or something!" Ditzy begged wanting the noise to stop as well.

Even through the ear splitting sounds of crying, I picked up the foal, rocked it back and forth and sang a certain famous lullaby:

Hush now quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head,

Hush now quiet now it's time to go to bed,

Drifting off too sleep may exciting dreams find you,

Drifting off too sleep, an exciting day behind you.

And with one verse, the foal was asleep.

" Whew, I thought that would have never ended," I said placing the foal in its basket.

" You did a great job," Ditzy said kissing me on my cheek," I think it's time to go to bed now, would you mind singing to me as well?"

" Not at all," I said smiling at her," But I'm kinda curious how the other ponies are handling this."

Next Chapter: Brony Day Care Part 2 Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 34 Minutes