I stared into the embers of a fire I'd started, lost in thought, as I passed the time. I had spent three and a half days walking, following that stream I'd stumbled across. Two days ago I caught sight of Cloudsdale and for a second considered heading there, but eventually decided against it. I gotta admit that it didn't look any different from the last time I saw it, then again it was probably crawling with Changelings. Even I would think Chrysalis a fool if she didn't secure such a city, though I consider her a fool no matter what. Despite all that I now found myself sitting here, at the foot of Canterlot, wishing that I was stronger. When that once grand beacon of ponykind first came into sight . . . well I broke down. I couldn't help but fall deeper into this sadness I surrounded myself with, and lament my pathetic being. Even now my eyes burn with the stinging sensation of freshly shed tears. All I've been able to do these last few days is cry and wallow in self-pity, like the failure I am. The only respite I've found during this time was the silence my darker self offered, which honestly scarred me worse with each passing hour. I know she's there, waiting in the corner of my mind, watching my suffering with that smile of hers.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I suddenly found myself asking. I've been reduced to this . . . this whimpering excuse of a pony, not from loss or pain. No, this time it was because I finally realized that I was a monster . . . I was a killer. That ghost, Braeburn, had warned me of this and yet I was too foolish to listen. Did I deserve this misery, this building self-hatred that was threatening to devour me whole? Would I lose everything because of my own actions, and my own twisted sense of loyalty? The dead have no need for loyalty or anything of the like, because they're gone. Was my dark self right, did I simply wish to repay blood with blood? Could I really be so indulgent of my own desires, and could those desires really be so grim? I couldn't help but sigh as I tossed another piece of wood onto the fire, and closed my eyes as I listened to it crackle in the flames. In a way I was like the very wood I burned for warmth, just a piece of scrap that served no purpose but to burn and be reduced to ash.

Now that I think about it . . . the spot that I landed, when I was tossed from Canterlot isn't too far away from here. Neither is Ponyville . . . maybe I should go back and check in, though I know it's probably just a ghost town. Suddenly my head began to ache as visions of Ponyville flooded my mind, along with all the bodies I left there in my wake. “Dammit . . .” I mumbled under my breath as the thoughts slowly subsided, leaving me with nothing but the silence around me. There in that silence, in the still of the night, I found myself without a single thought other than returning to Ponyville. Could I really return though? Could I willingly go back to . . . to the beginning? I stood and kicked at the ground, finally realizing that it wasn't a question of if I should, or could, go back. I had to return to Ponyville, without a doubt. That place, once filled with happiness, was the place where I first took a life and found enjoyment in it. Ponyville was the key, the place where my darkness was born, or at the least conceived. The only question was how returning could help rid me of that same darkness, the Dark Dash within me. Still I now had my answer, at least on where to go and it was better than nothing. Though I would never admit it to the darkness within, I had intended to return to the spot where I had fallen, in hopes of being rid of her . . . in hopes of reclaiming myself.

I sighed and sat back down, prodding the fire with a twig, as I mulled over my revelation. To be honest I knew, somewhere inside of me, that I would have to go back. Though when I told my darkness I was returning to the beginning, I didn't expect it to be Ponyville . . . or maybe I did and just didn't even realize it. More likely I just didn't wanna think about that place again, let alone see it. I seem to do that a lot though, act without thinking and try to handle things as they happen . . . all while trying to ignore what I actually fear. That way of thinking and acting, well it hasn't really worked out well. I wouldn't be sitting here, alone and wallowing in pity, if it actually worked. My rashness was the constant thorn in my side, and on more than one occasion my downfall. I wish I was able to do away with it and be more like AJ, Trixie, or Redheart. Actually . . . I just wish they were with me. No matter how much I wished though I knew I couldn't return to them, not until I was free of this darkness within. Then again . . . if I couldn't rid myself of it I may never see them again.

My chest began to burn as I moved a hoof over my heart, tears once more starting to form at the corners of my eye's. I had just gotten AJ back, after so many years of living without her. I was finally able to reunite with her, and now we're apart once more. I even left Redheart and Trixie behind, without so much as a word. I'm almost certain they're freaking out, worried sick about me, after I ran away covered in blood. I tried to wipe away my tears as I thought about everypony, but it was useless as each thought brought on more and more heartache. How could I be so selfish as to run and make them worry, then try to comfort myself with thoughts of protecting them from . . . myself. “Buck me, I'm an idiot,” I sighed as I held my head in my hooves.

Is something wrong, Dashie Dearest?

My skin crawled as I heard her call out to me and I slammed my hooves down in frustration. “What!? What do you want from me now? Why do you choose to call out to me now, are you no longer entertained by this sorrow that has filled me? No longer amused by your plot to break me?” I called out in reply.

I was . . . But after that little display I may have to reconsider. I could hear her laughing. I could almost see that smile of hers, twisted in its depravity, as she enjoyed my pain. But I still feel like you can suffer even more, and I intend to make you suffer in every way imaginable. Because as I've told you, my dearest of Dashies, I plan to shatter you into a thousand tiny pieces.

“Leave me be you sadistic bitch!” I shouted as I jumped to my hooves and cursed at the sky.

You know I'm not up there, right? Though I do belong in the heavens, but that's a given. Sadly for you, and I both, I'm stuck inside your pretty little head . . . for now.

“Don't worry I'll be rid of you soon enough.” All the sorrow and remorse I had been drowning in seemed to drain away as I spoke, now replaced by hatred. This hatred that burned inside me, the hatred I had for my darkness, was beginning to rival that which I felt for Chrysalis.

You know, Dashie, all this pain and suffering could come to a quick end. All you'd have to do is accept me and return to our former glory.

“I'll never accept you or your lies, and I'm growing tired of reminding you of that.”

And each time you deny me I only want you more.

She went silent after that, once again leaving me to my thoughts. I tried to calm myself as I felt tension spread throughout my entire body, and sat back down by the fire. I stared deep into the flames and found that it's once comforting glow now just reminded me further of my misery . . . of my darkness. How much more of this could I really take? How much longer could I torment myself with all these emotions, all these memories, and the weight of my sins. Have I fallen too far into the maw of darkness? Could returning to Ponyville even resolve anything, or would it be the final piece to my darkness' ascension? I pushed these thoughts aside and rose to stand again, before kicking dirt onto the fire. Once the fire was out the world returned to its dimly lit self, giving me nothing but faint moonlight to navigate it. With one final moment to collect my thoughts I pushed forward, and headed for Ponyville.

All was silent as I made my way towards my former home, with only the sound of my hoofsteps breaking the silence. Even though I was removed from the carnage, and battle that I'd come to know, I couldn't help but feel uneasy. Usually I would find solace in a silence such as this, use it to clear my thoughts and emotions. This silence, however, was different. Within the quiet world I now found myself in I could feel nothing but a creeping fear, as if I were being watched. I stopped and looked around, thinking I heard something move, taking a moment to try an rationalize this feeling. That's when I caught sight of something unmistakable, row upon row of apple trees as far as I could see. Even though their branches were broken and twisted, I knew exactly what this place was . . . it was Sweet Apple Acres. The once glorious jewel of the Apple family was now nothing more than dying land, blotted with decaying trees, that stunk of death and rot. An unbearable pain surged through my body as I fell to the ground, my mind filling to burst with images of this place's former glory. I recalled memories forged in this place with AJ, Applebloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith. Each and everyone causing my chest to heave with sobs that I fought to restrain.

You know the saddest part of all this is you're doing this to yourself. Didn't I tell you to let go of your past? I mean it's done, lost to the echoes of time, and every time you recall those 'happy memories’ this happens.

“Just be quiet . . . my memories are the only things that keep me sane.”

Keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll realize it's a lie. I mean, as I see things, you're always fine until you dredge the waters for a memory or two. Then it's nothing but pain and agony, opposed to the relief that you believe them to bring you.

“I don't remember asking for your opinion. So why not do me a favor and keep it to yourself. My memories are treasures that I will never let go of. But I don't expect some perverted creature like you to understand.”

You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand why you hold onto weakness so willingly . . . but that just makes your inevitable defeat all the more real.

“My defeat? I'm not going to be defeated, not by you or anypony,” I replied as I stood and steadied myself. “No matter how much pain, or weakness, or whatever else my memories bring me . . . I'll never let them go.”

You know . . . you keep saying that and I thought by now it'd be getting old, but it's just as funny as ever.

“I don't give a damn how funny you think it is, you're just covering your fear with condescending nonsense, you overgrown shadow.”

I'm afraid, really? You're the one who abandoned her friends because she feared what would happen to them if you stuck around. I believe that's the pot calling the kettle black, or something like that. So why don't you take a bit more time to think, next time, before you speak.

I growled in frustration and kicked a small stone, sending it flying into the darkness of the orchard. I was on the verge of responding to my darkness’ idiotic comments, when I heard something move among the trees. The snap of twigs and dead leaves, accompanied by a menacing growl and then suddenly a silhouette. Two piercing eyes gazed at me, unwavering in their stare, as the creature moved towards me. “Who the hell are you and why are you kicking rocks into my woods?” A low gruff voice called out, before the creature finally stepped into the silver light of the moon and revealed itself to be a massive diamond dog. “Wait a minute . . . You look familiar.” He smiled and revealed a mouth full of jagged teeth, flexing his clawed hands. “You're that pony that killed my pack. I was hoping I'd run into you someday, and it seems this is my lucky day,” the diamond dog said as he began to walk towards me. “I'm gonna make a meal of you and use you bones as a toothpick.”

I bet you regret dropping your sword back in Van Hoover now, don't you?

“You're not helping,” I muttered under my breath as I suddenly took off deeper into the orchard, trying to escape that monstrous diamond dog.

“Where are you trying to run off to!?” I heard him roar when the ground beneath me seemed to lift up. I leapt back just as his body erupted from the earth, and barely avoided a powerful swipe. I ducked under another attack and took off again, only to have one of my hind legs grabbed hold of. The dog lifted me into the air and swung me around, before slinging me into a nearby tree. My body crashed against it, I heard the trunk crack and strain from the force, before suddenly toppling over. I gasped for air and felt blood beginning to pool in my mouth, as I forced myself back to my hooves. I didn't have much time before he was on me again, a claw held high above him intent on crushing me beneath it. I wasn't able to run away this time, but I'd be damned if I was gonna die, so I did the only thing I could do . . . I fought. He brought his claw crashing down just as I dashed forward, barely missing me as I lowered my head and rammed into his stomach. He staggered back and clutched his stomach, before letting out a frustrated growl.

I couldn't give him any time to gather himself, not if I intended to survive . . . especially without my weapon. I closed the distance between us and stood up on my hind legs, before firing off several shots with my forehooves to his muzzle. He let out a shrill whine and sent me flying with a backhand. I finally slammed onto the ground and shakily stood back up, coughing up a fine mist of blood. The ground seemed to shake as he stomped towards me, pushing over a tree that stood between us, before letting out a rage filled roar. He rushed me suddenly and without a second thought I did the same, sliding between his legs as he tried to land a killing blow. I jumped up, my body aching from old and fresh wounds, and leapt onto his back. I brought my forehooves together and smashed them down on his head, only to have him howl in pain and grab me. He tossed me from his back, slamming me to the ground once more as he began to rain down attacks. I frantically rolled across the ground and finally found enough of a window to stand, only to have him slam his fist down on my back and put me back on the ground.

“I'm gonna enjoy tearing you apart, limb from limb, and hearing you scream.” He said as he picked me up and slammed me against the ground several times.

This wasn't good . . . I was losing consciousness. I could feel all my strength draining away, my very life was flashing before my eyes. Was this really how I was destined die, at the hands of some diamond dog? Was this some sort of cosmic Irony, a fitting punishment for slaughtering those diamond dogs in Ponyville? Wait . . . he said it was his pack. I fought against the blood filled coughs that escaped me, and through the blistering pain managed to squeak out a few words. “You . . . you said I killed . . . your pack.”

The diamond dog let out an unsettling laugh as he lifted me, by one of my hind legs, and stared at me. “That's right, filthy pony. Those diamond dogs were my pack and I was their alpha. You just happened to attack them when I was away on my queen's orders. Had I been there . . . well things would have ended differently.” He squeezed my leg and I let out an agonizing cry as I felt it start to break, then suddenly he let up. “You're the most entertaining thing I've had to play with in a while. Not like that foolish pony that wanders around here, acting like her life isn't completely destroyed. She just runs when she sees me and it's become rather annoying.”

What the hell was he talking about . . . a foolish pony? There isn't anypony left in Ponyville. “I think you're imagining things,” I said as my chest strained to keep breath in my lungs. “All the ponies of Ponyville are dead.”

He was silent at first but then began to chuckle, and eventually burst into full blown laughter. Once he regained his composure he smiled and brought me closer to his face. “She's what's left of the ponies that used to run this place, or at least that's what I was told. But I wouldn't worry myself with that, if I were you, you'll be dead soon and none of this will matter.”

There was somepony still alive here! It has to be one of the Apple’s, it just has to be. I can't let myself die now, not after learning about this . . . there has to be a way out of this. I couldn't think of anything, I couldn't even begin to think of anything and then I noticed his smug grin. He knew I was wracking my brain with what he just told me, that sick bastard! He wants me to try and put up a fight, just so I'll die kicking and screaming . . . well buck him. I was gonna survive and I was gonna find whoever it was that still lived here. Aside from that I still had to destroy my darkness and return to everypony. I couldn't just die and let them live not knowing what became of me . . . no . . . I have to survive.

“I think it's time I ended this, Rainbow Dash. My queen will reward me handsomely for bringing her your head.” He readied his free hand to land the finishing blow, his claws glistening in the glow of dawn's first light.

“She probably would . . . but you'll never get to find out.” Suddenly I threw my head forward and grabbed his head between my forehooves, as I bit down on his throat with all my strength. He began to let out a surprised yelp, but was quickly silenced as he let go of my leg and I twisted in the air. Between my quickly shifting weight and the force of my jaws I could taste blood, his blood, start to trickle into my mouth. I planted my hind legs into his stomach and pushed off with all I had. I could hear skin, muscle, and sinew begin to tear, when finally I managed to rip his throat out. I landed on the ground with a hard thud and struggled to stand, as I spat the blood and chunk of flesh from my mouth. I watched him squeeze his throat in vain as blood cascaded down him, and eventually he fell. I limped to his side and stared down at him, the last lingering bit of life quickly fading from him. “Buck you and your bucking queen,” I said as I watched him die.

Holy shit . . . that was bucking savage, even by my standards. But weren't you freaking out about killing things?

“Yeah . . . and I'll end up feeling awful about this, eventually. But right now I only need to worry about surviving.”

I think you might have some mental issues, Dashie.

“I don't give a shit . . .” Suddenly my body was stiff and heavy, as the trees around me began to spin. “Dammit, I should have . . . just . . . ran,” I managed before falling to the ground, my body too weak to move anymore. Then the all too familiar feeling of sleep began to creep over me, but I was too weakened to resist as I allowed myself to drift off into its embrace.