Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 5)

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The sun was setting over Equestria, and that was a decent contr-argument to the Equestrian propaganda of that times, which quite firmly stated that 'The Sun never sets over the Solar Empire'. Anyway, the sun was setting, making The Doctor worried that he would be late.

Slightly anxious, he reached the Sugarcube Corner, gazing at the magnificent building that seemed to be made of candy, chocolate and all the sweets that one could imagine. The sweet radiance it emitted was too much for the poor Time Lord so he decided to hold his urge to lick the door at bay and simply knocked instead.

At first he thought the knock wasn't loud enough and decided to repeat the process but in an instant a pink earth pony threw the door open.

The Doctor couldn't help staring at her in disbelief. My eyes must be betraying me, he thought, and had a good reason to do so.

The pink pony was wearing a green tunic, brown gloves and a red hat which was clearly made of paper and was painted with tomato juice.

"Helllooooo!" The pink pony cheerfully exclaimed. "Who are you? Oh, where are my manners! I'm Pinkie Pie but my friends call me Pinkie but now I'm a cherry tree because to make cherry jam you have to look eeeexactly like a cherry tree and that's why I'm dressed like this - do you like it - and oh my I shouldn't speak because trees don't usually speak - of course they sometimes do but on veeeery rare occasions!"

The Doctor stood in silence. His brain simply couldn't come to terms with the fact that a creature with so much energy could exist in the Universe without breaking it into pieces. His expression wonderfully resembled Twilight's when she heard about the kiss. (Artificial ventilation, mind you! It was artificial ventilation, nothing more! - T.L.) He decided to give himself up to the force of randomness and, trying to put up his special smile (a.k.a. The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM]), raised his hoof to greet the active pony in a proper way.

"Name's The Doctor. At your service," he said with a slight bow of his head.

The pink earth pony shook his hoof energetically, bouncing away to let the brown pony come in, babbling something by the way.

"Um... Pinkie?" The Doctor tried to interrupt her.

"...And I might call myself a baker because that's what I do for a living - actually I don't get paid at all - and I wonder how I live without money but that's okay because I manage somehow - and I'm somewhat you may call an undergraduate baker because I haven't finished any baking courses - becuase there aren't any as far as I know - and I know veeeery much - you can ask Gummy - he's my pet alligator-"

"Pinkie?!" The Doctor raised his voice.

"-and pet alligators are fun and I loooove fun - because fun is fun - oh, that's not a tautology, is that? - hmm, I wonder what a tautology is... What is a tautology, Doctor?" She suddenly asked in a sing-song voice.

The Time Lord was so taken by surprise that he couldn't do anything but answer the unexpected question.

"Well, it's a lexical repetition..." he said, thinking to himself: Confound this Equestria... It drives me to meet unexpectedness... And I'm thinking like a human again!

"-and that's why I asked you - because I wanted to know if you knew it - and if you're smart - and you are smart - in fact you're a smart smarty-pants - not the doll I mean - but you understand me anyway because you know what I mean because you are smart - hmm... Have I said it before?" Pinkie raised a hoof to her chin.

"Yes..." The Doctor exhaled, answering her rhetorical question.

"-and I sometimes think I'm the smartest pony around but that's me being arrogant arroganty-pants and I don't like being arrogant and Twilight seems to be smart too - have you met Twilight?"

"Yes..." The Doctor answered in the same exhausted tone. Somehow, his head managed to ache after just a couple of minutes spent with Pinkie. (I didn't even count the exact amount of minutes... Hey, if you were to meet Pinkie Pie, you would understand me! - T.L.)

"-and I wonder what a Time Lord is doing here in Equestria?" She cheerfully finished, rasing a brow and pressing her face into the Doctor suspiciously.

"Um... What?" The cornered Time Lord managed to squeak, not unlike Fluttershy. However, after he realised what the pink party pony had said, his pupils widened in shock.

"How..." he said even more quietly.

"Okie dokie lokie, you can answer later if you want-" Pinkie said, ready to dive into the sea of innocent twaddle but was pretty rudely interrupted by The Doctor's hoof pressing against her mouth.

The brown pony suddenly became very frightened and grave serious. He almost pushed Pinkie into the wall, lowering his head to her ear.

"Pinkie. This is a serious matter. How do you know about me?" He asked, trying to be friendly and assertive at the same time. (And failing miserably, if I may add - T.L.)

"Bfr I cn answr y mst lt m spk," Pinkie tried to say, with the brown hoof still being pressed against her mouth.

"Oh," The Doctor guiltily took his hoof from the pink pony's face.

Pinkie smiled again, as if nothing had happened.

"It's called 'Pinkie sense', dummy! You are such a big Time Lord and still haven't learned about it?" She raised her brow questioningly.

"We all have much to learn..." The brown pony mumbled in embarassment.

"I know quite a bit, you know?" Pinkie winked at him. "Time Lords, humans..."

"HUMANS?" The Doctor interrupted her. (I know, I interrupt ponies quite a lot... I wonder if my special talent involves interrupting... *Looks at his cutie mark* ...or not... - T.L.)

"Yes, humans! You know, these creatures that walk on two legs and have fingers and-"

"I know, Pinkie," the Time Lord prevented the self-proclaimed 'undergraduate baker' from developing her... speech further.

"Oh, great! I thought only Lyra and me knew about them!" The cheerful pink mare seemed to not have noticed the brown pony's exhaustion. "But sometimes I think Gummy knows too because he always listens to us when we discuss them - I mean humans - so what do you want to talk to me about, Doctor?" She asked at last.

The brown pony exhaled. He didn't want to lose a second of that precious break so he quickly explained the matter to Pinkie:

"See, Pinkie, you are one of the Elements of Harmony... Laughter, to be exact. The other five are your acquaintances: Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack... and Twilight..." The Doctor internally shivered at the thought of letting that unicorn save the world. "You need to save Equestria from some... how to put this nicely... 'Ancient Evil' and-"

"Nightmare Moon?" Pinkie asked, smiling broadly.

"How did you... Don't tell me you travel through Time, too!" The Doctor staggered back at such a thought.

Pinkie vigourously shook her head.

"No, dummy, of course not! I'm not a Time Lord - you are a Time Lord, remember? It's the prophecy! 'The Stars Will Aid Her Escape', you know?" She blurted out without pauses.

Seems like it is her natural manner of speaking... The Time Lord thought.

"Well, I may have heard about it," he said carefully. "So you know the basics, right?"

Pinkie nodded. Then, a bulb lighted above her head. (Literally, mind you! Literally! I still don't know how she does it... did it. I miss her. I miss them all. - T.L.)

"Maybe we should go to the kitchen to discuss it?" She suggested. "I'm baking cupcakes and some cookies and pie - Oh, Soarin's coming tomorrow and he looooves pie and I need to make another one because he'll probably want another one because he always wants another one and-"

The Doctor smiled and followed Pinkie to the kitchen.

***

"-And that's how I got my cutie mark!" Pinkie cheerfully yelled, making the exhausted brown earth pony let his head hit the table.

"Pinkie..." He whispered, barely able to speak. "That's the story of how Equestria was made..."

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, rubbing it.

"No, dummy!" She grinned. "That's how I got my cutie mark! As for how Eqestria was made... You see, I was a filly working at a rock farm..."

The Doctor groaned into his hooves before interrupting Pinkie for the umpteenth time that day.

"Pinkie... I've just told you the whole story of Nightmare Moon, the Elements and what you six will have to do to defeat her... and managed to do it in five minutes! Five minutes and 8.54 seconds, to be exact!" He tried to reason the talkative mare.

"And I have just told you the story of how I got my cutie mark and managed to do so in... let me see... two hours! Two hours, fourteen minutes and 54.76 seconds, to be exact!" She replied, not dropping her cheerful smile.

"Very funny... Wait... Hey, it is the exact time! How do you do it, after all?" The Time Lord asked, astonished by the pink pony's abilities.

She opened her mouth (and believe me, it was the first time I've really looked forward to it! - T.L.) when a loud knock coming from the direction of the door interrupted her. Pinkie bit her tongue and ran off to open the door.

The Doctor groaned in frustration. That's better not be Twilight... He thought.

"Hi, Twilight!" A cheerful voice near the entrance confirmed the brown pony's suspicions.

The Doctor rose from his seat, moved through the doorway and came up to the lavender unicorn, who was shining with a visible feeling of completeness.

She almost hugged the brown pony, steaming with excitement.

"That's it, Doctor! We finally managed to bring the Elements together!" She jumped up and down around the poor Time Lord, as if he hadn't had enough loud action for the day.

"Now, Twilight." The Doctor mobilized the last drops of energy he had and marched straight into battle. "I would be very glad to hear that another time but now I'm pretty tired..."

The librarian was wise enough to stop and nod in understanding.

"...so could you show me the way to Canterlot? Please..." The Time Lord sighed, still not fully believing he would fall so low as to plead the cruel unicorn, who, as he had clearly decided by that time, was a troll. (In the human meaning of the word, mind you! - T.L.)

Pinkie suddenly (as always...) interrupted them with something The Doctor would remember for the rest of his life.

"Canterlot? It's that big city near the mountain! Why would Twilight need to show it to you? It's visible from any place in Equestria, dummy!"

The Time Lord slowly turned his head just to look straight into Twilight's eyes. He could swear he saw giggling fires dancing in her pupils.

"Twilight?" He managed to say.

The unicorn surpressed a giggle.

"You see, Doctor... If I had told you in the first place, you wouldn't have helped me with enlightening the Elements on the matter, so... well, that it," she concluded, sincerely trying not to laugh.

The Doctor's eye twitched.

"Not. Playing." He hissed and, with that, left Sugarcube Corner.

Twilight burst into laughter the same instant the brown earth pony closed the door.

Pinkie, however, had an unusual look of slight concern on her face.

"Twilight?" She began.

"Y-yes, Pinkie?" The unicorn was still trying to surpress laughter, but to no avail.

"Twitchy eye, Twilight. He's going to..."

Twilight stopped laughing, her eyes widening in fear.

"Celestia help us now..."

***

Next on the Confessions!

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"Throw him into a dungeon! No, banish him! No, throw him into a dungeon in the place I've banished him to!"

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"You... A thousand years! I've been waiting for you for a thousand years and you still value Equestria's safety over our relationship!"

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Women... Why would I ever let my destiny's path cross with women?

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Author's note.

You may wonder why there was no lyrical digression again. The answer's simple, really. While looking through this chapter I was thinking... Well, let the picture express my feelings, okay?

Yeah... And then i realised I was the one who wrote it...

So... Please comment, anyway...

Peace.