Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 1)

***

Still with me, huh?  I bet you are dying to hear about some adventures and shenanigans from the point of view of an omnipotent Time Lord? (I'm not omnipotent, mind you! Still, it's fun to know ponies actually think of me as a God.) To your deepest displeasure, this won't happen. Some situations I have experienced are so tragic for me and bring such a desperate feeling to my heart that it is painful even to speak about them. Sometimes it's hard to believe I committed all those sins...

Soon enough, you will see the Equestrian history isn't as bright and blissful as it is presented by Colchevsky. There were many stallions and mares with their roles to play that were forgotten and disappeared from the pages of ancient history. But I remember everything. I played my part, too: we Time Lords only play our parts as well as many other creatures.

But if we have roles to play and scripts, from which we read, how can we speak of freedom of choice? I have spent decades speculating on the subject and still haven't come to a decent answer. At least, my friend Shakespeare says that the world is a stage. I partly agree with him.

In this case, I'll create an invisible narrator that will lead you through the depths of my mind. My stories will no longer be told from my point of view; thus, I will no longer have to experience mental pain whilst telling them. The 'narrator' will. You can call him Josh, if you want. A nice name, isn't it?

This chapter will enlighten you with the true story of Nightmare Moon and how The Doctor (that's me, remember? Shh, the narrator's talking) regenerated into a pony. Let us raise the curtain that was hiding the truth!

***

Twilight Sparkle was cleaning the mess that Spike had left before rushing off to the Boutique to help Rarity when she heard a loud knock at the door. The lavender unicorn sighed and trotted to the door to open it. She was surprised to see an unfamiliar earth pony in the doorway, who was smiling charmingly. Of course, Twilight was new in Ponyville but she thought that after Pinkie's party the day before she made acquaintances with all Ponyville citizens. And, as if the brown earth pony before her could read her very thoughts, she heard him say:

"I wasn't present at the party yesterday; that's why you don't know me yet."

Twilight raised her brow.

"I haven't said anything," she pointed out.

The brown earth pony nodded.

"I know," he said. "But you have thought it," he finished with even a bigger smile.

Now the unicorn was not just surprised  - she was utterly shocked. He can't really read my thoughts, right? she thought, looking in the newcomer's azure eyes.

"Yes I can," the brown pony shrugged. "Now, if you let me in, we will be able to save your world from an approaching danger, which will be here..." the pony stopped for a second. "...In two days, fifteen hours, thirty-two minutes and eight seconds. Minus fourteen seconds by this time," he cheerfully told Twilight.

The unicorn couldn't say anything at that moment so she just nodded and let the pony into the library.

"And what's your-" she began.

"I'm The Doctor," the stranger answered before she finished her question.

"-name," Twilight exhaled. It all seemed so bizarre to her that she started to question her sanity.

"You are not insane," The Doctor assured her, while burrowing in a large pile of books gathering dust near one of the shelves. "Not quite, at least," he addressed Twilight in such a tone that she didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

"But what are you-" she tried again. Alas, to no avail.

"Right now we need to gather some information about the so-called 'Elements of Harmony' since Equestria will soon be attacked by a powerful alien who will easily destroy it and swallow the magic of all unicorns. And also devour them," the brown pony said with a dark grin.

Twilight gasped in fear.

"Kidding about the last one. It feeds with magic, not ponies." The Doctor chuckled and instantly galloped to another pile of books, fervently searching for something. He touched a book for a mere second, then threw it away.

Twilight couldn't keep up with his pace, catching books with her telekinesis and lovingly putting them on the shelves.

"Um... Doctor? Could you?" she squeaked as she dodged another book flying in her direction. "COULD YOU STOP AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF FOR A SECOND?!!" she screamed, magically raising her voice.

The brown pony looked at her attentively and nodded.

"Listen closely, Twilight Sparkle," he whispered.

The constant amazement was so strong in Twilight's head that she wasn’t surprised to be called by her name.

"I will not repeat myself again because Time is precious. You are new in Ponyville, right?"

Twilight nodded.

"Good. Then you still need to make friends with five other ponies. You will do it tomorrow. Next, I need to find a book about those 'Elements of Harmony' to refresh my knowledge on the topic. Finally, I need to meet Tia to get those gems... She still lives in Everfree Forest, right?" The Doctor asked.

"Erm..." Twilight froze in bafflement. "Who is this Tia you are talking about, Doctor?" she wondered.

"Erm... Everfree Forest? The Castle Of The Royal Pony Sisters? Sounds familiar, no?" the earth pony scratched the back of his head.

"You mean..." Twilight's jaw hit the floor in realization. "How dare you call Princess Celestia that?!" she angrily shouted and sent a silence spell towards The Doctor's mouth. To her embarrassment and surprise, the spell ceased as it came close to the earth pony. Earth ponies can't reflect magic, she thought to herself suspiciously.

"Oh, I'm not an earth pony. I'm a Time Lord," The Doctor said matter-of-factly and continued his search. "A-ha! Here it is!" he exclaimed, holding a book in his hoof. "Now let's see..." The Doctor closed his eyes for a second and threw the book away.

"Are you going to read the book or you forgot how to do it?" Twilight mockingly asked, upon catching the book mid-air with her magic.

"Already have," the earth pony parried. "So, Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty, Laughter, Generosity and Magic. Which one are you, I wonder?" The Doctor slowly approached Twilight.

The unicorn took a step back.

The earth pony shook his head. "Trust me; I'm The Doctor," he whispered.

Twilight chuckled at his play upon words. That second she stood still was enough for The Doctor to check her.

"Magic... Amazing! It is a privilege to see the Element of Magic before myself!" he exclaimed and took a step back from Twilight.

"Now, if you just explain..." Twilight began but was interrupted by a noise The Doctor's cutie mark emitted. She couldn't believe her eyes: the hourglass was shining and the sand was slowly flowing from the upper half to the lower. In an instant, she felt unbearable pain in her head. It was more than just a headache: the information was hurting her. She collapsed on the floor, holding her head between her front hooves.

The Doctor, however, didn't change his position even slightly. After Twilight was able to stand on her knees, he approached her and took her up by the hoof.

"What... was it?" she quietly asked, still shaking.

"Memory transfer. Fascinating, isn't it? Now let's go to sleep! We need to be up at five to seven in order to achieve our goal!" And so the Time Lord let go of Twilight's hoof and she collapsed on the floor once more.

"What goal?" she asked when a sudden pain stabbed her mind. Nighmare Moon... Elements of Harmony... Elements destroy Nighmare Moon... Words were filling her head, and it felt like she was trying to remember something very important.

"So..." Twilight began cautiously, "...Me, as the Element of Magic, and five other ponies... need to stop some... erm... 'Nightmare Moon'?" she finished, amazed by all the information her memory now held.

"Exactly so!" The Doctor exclaimed. "Now, before you come up with any questions..."

Unfortunately, it was too late. Twilight's mouth erupted one question after another. It was like a dam that was suddenly broken and flooded with water. The Doctor sighed and cast a silence spell.

Twilight's pupils widened to the size of saucers. After the spell wore off, she took a breath but, before she could say anything, the brown pony interrupted her.

"Yes, I can cast magic. No, I'm not a unicorn. I'm a pony now but I'm not of equine nature. I am a Time Lord. No, I can't tell you more now. Yes, maybe I will tell you later. Maybe. And now we must go to sleep. We have a hectic day ahead."

Twilight nodded, slowly digesting the information that had fallen on her like a huge snowball. She stood up and trotted towards her bed, only to find The Doctor had already laid himself on it.

"Now, would you leave my bed?" Twilight wearily asked.

The Time Lord shook his head.

"Please?" she added.

The immortal Time Lord shook his head again.

"Pretty please... with cherry on top?" the lavender unicorn tried.

The omnipotent and gorgeous (Ah, the narrator's surpassed himself) Time Lord shook his head once more.

"The bed's large enough for two," he reasoned her.

"No. Bucking. Way," Twilight groaned and put a blanket near her bed. She lay on the blanket, exhausted and sure that it was all a strange dream.

***

"Rise and shine, Twilight!"

No. It was not a dream.

Twilight mumbled something indistinct and pulled the blanket over her head. Bad idea. She yelled when somepony (and she knew who that somepony was) splashed a load of cold water over her. The unicorn jumped, casting a fire spell that not only dried her coat and mane but also burned a bookshelf. Twilight sighed, sleepy and irritated.

"Look, what you've done," she grumbled at The Doctor. "That was my favorite bookshelf, not to mention that those books are... were extremely rare. It will take an eternity just to..."

The Time Lord's cutie mark glowed and the bookshelf returned to its previous shiny appearance.

"...repair it," Twilight finished, still not believing her eyes.

"Approximately two seconds," the brown pony said, stretching his limbs. "Now let's get going. You need to befriend the Elements while I shall pay a visit to Tia... Celestia, I mean," The Doctor corrected himself, noticing the stern look on Twilight's face. "Anyway, she still lives in the Everfree Forest, doesn't she?" he asked, opening the door and almost pushing the sleepy unicorn through it.

When Twilight finally shook off the dreamy thoughts that were comforting her, she found herself outdoors, with The Doctor staring at her. She blushed in embarrassment.

"Erm... Come again, please? Heh... heh..." she managed to say.

The brown pony sighed and repeated the question in the same exact words.

Twilight sceptically raised her brow. "Just how old are you? Princess Celestia lives in her castle in Canterlot, of course! She has lived there for... let me think... A THOUSAND YEARS!" she shouted, angry with the brown earth pony for mocking her.

"I'm sorry; the last time I was here was exactly a thousand years ago," The Doctor replied. "Canterlot... I'm not sure I have heard about it before. Is it a newly built city?" he wondered.

"It was built seven hundred years ago. Not funny, Doctor." Twilight's voice was cold as a grave.

"That's a new city for me!" the brown pony cheerfully exclaimed. "Mind showing me the way?"

Twilight mumbled something under her breath but decided to play by The Doctor's rules.

"Okay, but before we do it, could you lend me a helping hoof?" she asked.

"A helping... hoof?" The Doctor wondered. "Ah! It's like 'a helping hand'! A local idiom! Amazing!" he quickly took a notebook from nowhere (Twilight blinked in astonishment) and wrote down something.

"Hand?" Twilight kept blinking.

"Forget it, we have business! So, what's with the help?" the brown earth pony vigorously asked, moving in circles around Twilight.

"Could you stand still for a minute?" she moaned, starting to feel dizzy.

"And what if I don't?" The Doctor grinned. "You will cast a stun spell on me, huh?"

"Don't provoke me, Doctor," Twilight smiled and suddenly blushed as an embarrassing thought came to her mind. Am I... flirting with him?

"I can read your thoughts, remember?" The Doctor's face shone with victorious happiness.

Twilight gasped. "Ah! You... You puny Time Lord!" she shouted, losing her composure.

The earth pony raised his brow. "Wow. It's the first time someone calls me 'puny'. I'm over a thousand years old! Besides..." he chuckled with a sly grin, "...you are not to my taste."

Twilight's jaw almost hit the floor. She decided to give up and forget about the whole situation. For a while. She tried to remember what she was saying.

"So, Doctor..." she paused, waiting for the brown pony to turn serious again. It didn't take long - a couple of seconds, to be exact. (And we Time Lords are always exact, aren't we, Narrator?)

"Yes, Twilight?" he smiled.

"Could you help me find the other elements and... explain the situation to them?" she made an impression of a foal begging for a candy.

The Doctor shook his head.

"That won't work with me, Twilight," he said.

The lavender unicorn sighed. "We will lose less time if you help me," she tried, not sure if that reason would work. Fortunately, it did.

The Time Lord lowered his head for a second.

Twilight took a step towards him and yelped in shock when the brown pony jumped in excitement.

"Then we shall proceed!" he shouted. "Next stop: Element of Kindness! Let's see..." he closed his eyes. "Aha! The current bearer is a yellow pegasus named Fluttershy! Have you met her?"

"Oh yes..." Twilight shrugged, upon remembering the shy animal caretaker. "You know, Doctor... I suppose our initial idea was right: I shall see her alone," she finished with a fake smile.

"Nonsense! I will gladly accompany you! Allons-y!" The Doctor yelled and galloped away.

Twilight kept walking at a slow pace. She wondered how long would it take The Doctor to realize he doesn't know the way.

It was going to be a long, long day...

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"Doctor?"

"Y-yes, Twilight?"

"Would you do me a favour in exchange... a small one? All a nice mare can ask of such a... prepossessing stallion?"

~~~

"Physical... Violence... Is not... The answer..."

"Oh, do believe me, I would have used my magic if you weren't IMMUNE to it!"