Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 1)

***

As thunder struck across the sky, I witnessed two demi-gods clash in a eternal struggle between good an evil, or, to be more exact, between what we call good and evil. The alicorns spread their wings simultaneously and leaped into the sky through the gaping hole in the ceiling of the castle. As their newborn spells met halfway, the trees of the Everfree Forest immediately ceased with a flash - they were mere piles of ash now.

I stood and watched the battle with my eyes wide open, failing to understand what was happening.

"Tia! Tia, darling! What are you doing?!" I yelled in a useless attempt to attract the white princess' attention.

My attempt was in vain. The regal mare's eyes were bloodshot; so were her sister's. They exchanged magical lunges, both knowing very well it was only the beginning.

"Luna, come on! Stop this!" I appealed to the night princess' reason. To no avail either.

I kept running across the marble floor, raising my head so that my words would reach the two royal sisters who had presumably gone amok.

...But first things first, right? I'd better start from the beginning, so to speak.

I am the Doctor and this is another story of mine. Another breaking point in my life. Another landmark in the history of Equestria - and my personal history. This is not going to be one of those light-hearted tales that I'd told you before. This is some sad stuff and, if you want to read further, prepare yourself.

...Oh, you don't have an option but to read on. I always keep forgetting about that.

Anyway, hold tight and

Allons-y!

***

"Will you get your lazy flank to the kitchen and make breakfast?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy waking up to Celestia's voice in the wee hours of the morning, when the Sun still hadn't risen due to the fact that Her Royal Highness was in bed with no intention of rising it.

I just don't enjoy being shouted at, right into the ear.

I immediately woke up and jerked in bed with a manly yelp. I'd just been having that strange dream about Daleks taking pony form and conquering Equestria.

And now, Celestia's voice strangely reminded me of the Daleks' Emperor.

I quickly examined the surroundings. They were all the same: Celestia's chamber bathed in vanishing moonlight, while the large royal bed (of which she'd always occupied more than a half) remained still. There were no Daleks whatsoever.

I sighed in relief and looked at the white alicorn lying next to me.

She snickered, covering her mouth with a hoof.

"You scared?" she asked with a smile.

I groaned and rolled in bed with a clear intention to continue my valued sleep.

Ah, too bad that alicorns can use magic, right?

Not that I didn't like being levitated - it gave me a pleasant feeling of flight and freedom - but I didn't like being levitated against my will.

"Come on, Tia! Put me down!" I whined. In a very manly manner.

"Well, if you ask so nicely..." Celestia snickered and let me go.

I fell on the ground, rubbing my spine.

"This is getting old," I grunted.

The princess of the Sun burst into laughter.

"Oh, come on, Doctor! We're just a few hundred years old - when if not now will we be able to enjoy such jokes?" she enquired with a huge grin.

"When you stop putting me on the edge of breaking my spine," I replied, waking up gradually.

"You can always regenerate, you know?" Celestia said, coming up to me and giving me the usual morning peck on the cheek.

"Next time I'll regenerate into a mare," I mumbled, coming round completely.

"Nothing would change for us, in that case," she replied casually, giving me a wink.

My ears jerked up at once. You know that feeling when your marefriend suddenly tells you that... um... how to put that nicely... her barn door swings both ways? Well, I didn't know, too. Up to that moment. That gave me some food for thought, you know?

Oh, speaking of food...

I kissed Celestia back and left the bedroom, leaving her to raise the Sun, while I would be fulfilling my duty as a male - getting food and bringing it to my mare.

In ancient times, males used to encounter numerous difficulties while performing such a hard task: they had to hunt down large animals, bring them to their caves (on their very backs, mind it!) and what was the only reply they ever got? Right: It's already lunchtime, go get some mammoth for lunch!

Those days, it was much easier: the only thing I needed to do was to pass down the stairs, get to the kitchen and fetch some cake for Tia - that's Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia of the Sun for you, mind it!

Now, in retrospect, I see that modern times are far easier: Tia just has to ring the kitchen and the cake would be magically delivered to her in a matter of seconds.

Idly wondering why I had to go it the first place (when Celestia possessed the gift of instant teleportation), I descended the stairs, feeling ultimately sleepy, stumbling upon almost each step.

"Good morning, Doctor," a passing by pony greeted me.

I raised my weary head and saw Celestia's younger sister - Luna.

"Hi, Luna," I said to her with a warm smile.

She'd always been a child to me - just a hundred years and a half; almost a foal. Yet, I tried to treat her as an equal, partly because she was unbelievably clever, partly because I was dating her sister.

"Will we be playing chess tonight? Please? Please?" the blue alicorn asked, looking at me with her brand puppy eyes.

"I'll give you a handicap," I replied with a wink.

"No, that's not fair! We'll be playing fair!" she whined, stomping her hoof on the marble floor.

I chuckled light-heartedly, feeling my sleepiness fade away. That [strike]child[/strike] princess could always make anypony cheerful.

"All right, Luna, we'll be playing fair," I agreed with a nod, trying to maintain a serious face. Youngsters love to be addressed with all seriousness you can gather.

"Yay!" the princess of the Moon cheered and ran up the stairs.

I shook my head and made my way to the kitchen.

On the table, I noticed an already-baked cake. It shone in the artificial light of the candles. It radiated beauty. It lured my attention completely. It screamed delicious with its every molecule.

Celestia would totally love it.

***

"Couldn't you bring something more tasty?" the royal alicorn said, after wiping off her muzzle from the creme. "The cake could've been better."

I gulped with an not-amused look.

"You know, Tia, I, for one, still haven't had breakfast yet - are you really the one to complain?" I wondered, feeling very, very hungry.

"You had a very special pie last night, if you get what I mean" she replied with a sly grin.

I speculated about that for a moment. Sure the night we'd spent was plainly awesome but...

"Nah, a cake would've been better," I said with a shrug.

"Doctor!"

I laughed as Celestia tried to beat the hay out of me in fake anger. ...Though, the bruises weren't fake, unfortunately...

And, as such situations had always turned out, the "battle" ended with a passionate kiss.

"Now, there was something I wanted to tell you..." Celestia began as we got up from the floor.

"It's not my foal! I'm not the father!" I shouted, backing up.

"I'm. Not. Pregnant," the Princess said, sending me a cold glare. "Though, it was great to see your opinion on the subject, as of yet."

"Phew," I wiped off sweat from my brow. "That one was close."

"We're going on holiday! A cruise around Equestria, to be exact," Celestia said proudly.

"Um, darling, that's great but... it will involve a ship, won't it?" I asked hesitantly. "You know how easily I get seasick."

"Don't worry, sweetie, it'll be an airship. Besides, you don't mind friendship," she replied with a smile.

Har har har. You must always laugh when your marefriend tells puns. So I did.

"I certainly wouldn't mind some shipping on the cruise..." I said seductively.

Too bad that your marefriend doesn't have to laugh when you use a pun or two.

"So... When's the cruise?" I wondered.

"We're already ten minutes late!" Celestia exclaimed cheerfully.

"That's my girl!" I said proudly as we grabbed whatever possessions we could find in a matter of a few seconds and ran out of the castle.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"I think we forgot something... Something very important..."

"Nah, just shrug it off. Nothing's wrong, Tia. Just look at the beautiful moon and-"

"I forgot to raise the Sun!"

~~~

"That's- that's a banana, Tia..."

"Yes. Yes, it is. Anything wrong with it?"

"No, nothing... Confound those humans..."

~~~

"I... I've been sleeping with a Time Lord?"

"You... do realise that simple ponies don't live for hundreds of years, right?"

***

Author's note.

So... Here's the new story arc. I await your comments eagerly.

Peace.