The Writer's Guide to Being Octavia 

By: ThatOneRandomPony

This chapter is was really half-assed. Don't expect it to be that good story-wise.

Grammar is correct, though, thanks to my ex-editor Dashing Rainbow.

Ah, watch out. Incoming: bad chapter.

EDIT: Excuse me if there are weird spaces in-between words. The Google docs import is buggy for me.

EDITtotheEDIT: This chapter has been edited. No more weird spaces or whatever

-~

As the sound comes closer, I grab my backpack with my mouth, and force all the muscles in my legs (or arms... Whatever) towards the open space under my desk.

I sit there, wrapped in a tight ball, waiting silently as the shadow walks in, turns off the lamp, and pauses.

Just please... don't see me

"Strange..." I hear my mom say, (discerning her by her voice) then walks out, shutting the door on her way.

Huh. Anti-climatic, if you ask me.

Well shit. I'm trapped here until ten-thirty, and all I have to comfort me is, well, nothing.

Wonderful.

Looking to my left, I make out the faint numbers of 7:20 being displayed on my alarm clock.

Only 3 hours, 10 minutes to go. Yippee.

Approximately 3 hours and 9 minutes later

Shitshitshitshit

I think I'm about to explode.

My head hurts from sitting in this cramped position, I'm starving...

...and I really have to use the little ladies room.

I watch steadily as the digital numbers switch from 10:29 to 10:30. I hear my front door shut from afar.

"Friggin' finally!" I explain, not really caring about my voice anymore. It's there, no way to change it back now.

Though one thing may have got me stumped... literally, I think.

"Oh man, I'm just too funny" I say, chuckling at my own joke

I stare down at my hooves, hoping they will just move on their own.

They don't.

Drats.

I move what I think is my wrist, but is really my knee in the equivalent of pony anatomy

As is the cliché of all sudden human-turns-to-pony fics, I have to learn to walk again.

Fantastic.

After somehow rolling myself out of the cramped area below the desk, I lay on my side.

Now lets-a-see, here

I take my two front hooves, and plummet them into the ground

Now let me tell you something, it's a sensation you already know, but on a much larger csale.

It’s like you feel the ground, yet, you really don't under all that hoof-stuff.  Kind of like when you hold an object, and then tap it on a hard surface. You feel the vibration back into your skin, but not really the object itself.

After figuring out what muscles controlled my hind legs, I kick up, and start a balancing act on my feet. Or, hands. Hooves.

Whatever.

I mean, how will I even attempt this? Right, left, right, left?  Nah. That won’t ever work.  Right, right, left, left?  Sounds good to me!

So I start to turn that wonderful idea into steam.

"Alright. Right," I say, as I move my right leg forward one unit of unit-ness

"...Right," I say, as my right hind leg moves forward.

Maybe that idea wasn't so great.

Wheezing as I try to stand up, the air seems to have been knocked out of me.

I think I'll just go with the more chicle 'Right, left, Right, left' tactic.

And as a matter of fact, it worked.  I was soon wandering circles around my room.

And sadly, the doorknob left me in winner’s circle.

Friggin' and you're humans and your opposable thumbs...

Well, frick. I just have to stay in here for now. can't be that bad, right?

Looking around, I spot a half full glass of water, and a three-quarters eaten plate of pasta from last night on my desk.

Somehow managing to leap up onto my chair, I push myself onto my desk.

Horses can eat meat, right?

...right?

"Oh... shit. I don't... feel..."

Next thig I know, I feel a hot liquid coming up my throat.

What a good waste of good pasta.

"...so good"

As I search for a remedy to the foul taste that resides in my mouth, I stare at the glass of luke-warm water sitting there oh-so innocently

How the frick am I even going to drink that?  Maybe I could try to pick it up.  Maybe.  I’ve had plenty of good ideas today, so why shouldn't it work?

Then I figured it out: I'm a genius.

Staring at the glass I attempt to move my front legs towards it.

So far, so good.

Creating opposite forces onto the glass, I maneuver it up towards my mouth, and tilt the glass in the diagonal towards me.

And it actually works, too. For a second or two, at least

Next thing I know I'm coughing the water back up.

Oh, come on!, I think, thanking myself I didn't turn into Squeaky-Belle

I know humans do that all the time, but, ponies too?

As I settle myself down, I decide to open my old 2003 mac laptop I have been "graciously" given by my mother. Somehow, beyond forces I know, I manage to do it.

Opening Safari, I stroll through the outdated web-browser

If there is one thing I hate in this world, it'd have to be safari or Os-x. Go ahead, take your pick

"Strange..." I say to myself, reading the front headline.

Princess Celestia in our town? Truth be told! The now transformed Lauren Faust and Tara Strong reside as ponies from the show My Little Pony. Click here for the live press conference.

"Say what?"