“Hell no. Let’s talk.”

Flutterfail seemed to almost shrink at that, with her characteristic umming and her characteristic ...Dweebitude? Is that a word? It is now, while I’m being all bitter about it.

Ugh. “Um... so yes, we will be trick or treating, thank you everyone!” She led us, and by led, I mean I followed, no way she led me around, behind a... giant metal thing set on wheels that I kinda thought resembled a cart. Cart. Word sounded about right and without Cale, I wasn’t exactly in possession of an adequate thesaurus of human stuff.

Right, back to what I was going through, she ducked behind the... cart thing and shot me a look. “So.... You said you got shot in that message.”

… SHARDS. SHARDS SHARDS SHARDS SHARDS! The message? Why on... FRACTURE YOU, CALE.

“I did. I got better.” I leaned against the metal cart and did my best to give out that nearly patented aura of awesomeness that I projected. Oh yeah. I’m Gilda. I’m baaaaad. “Why, you worried, Flutters?” I took on a tone that should unnerve her. Maybe I could get her to drop it?

Heh heh. When did everything go wrong?

She stopped in her tracks and looked away, just as planned.

The... big bad and not at all threatening pony spoke up next. Yeesh, I’m in rare form today with the insults. “Why are you here? You should be headed to New York with everyone else, or headed somewhere else instead of coming here to antagonize Erica.”

Erica? Erica... erica? ...Erica... Erica...shy? Ericashy? What sort of a portmanteau was that?

Better question, since when did I know what a portmanteau was?

The pink ru- Frackture it all, let me just call her Pinkie Pie since she was still dressed up in her absolutely ridiculous costume, spoke up with her normal ear splitting voice. “Hey, what? She got shot? Wait wait wait, sorry, back up here, when did this happen?!”

Dang it, Pie. Can you not ruin something? IS THAT TOO HARD FOR YOU TO LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE? ...Wow. I’m getting emotional. Keep cool, Gilda. Worst you can do right now is blow this. “Doesn’t matter,” I said with a bit of an aloof feel. “I can’t exactly let you get to New York, you see.” I looked away to hide my regret over just how far this was not helping me to get back to Dash... and make friends again. “Pretty obvious trap.”

Man, I was getting sappy.

“Yes. I get it. Dissy’s playing a fun game.... you got any better ideas?” I didn’t actually, but I was not about to let Pinks in on that little tidbit.

Erishy...? Meh. Flutters spoke up, for once saving me by doing so. “It does matter. When did you got shot? Because if it was when you sent that message, it was only two days ago or so.”

Wait what. Two days? I was knocked out quite a bit more than two days, I had to have been!

I blinked. “Only two days? Felt a whole lot longer than that, Shy. ‘Sides, I had it treated. Found a friendly ranger...” I shook my head a little, as if to discourage any pursuit of that discussion. “Really, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

Pinkie spoke up in ridiculous outfit. It had been a while since I had been around this many ponies and people in general, so my patience was starting to wear a little. “Uh huh. Alright, you can play tough girl for a little while longer, but if you start hurting from your obviously makeshift healing... whatever, you tell us or I get to bop you on the head. Welcome to the caravan, by the way!”

Welcome to the caravan by the way!”

I paused. Seriously? Even I knew that you couldn’t heal from a bullet that fast. Did they seriously buy that line? Suckers... “Caravan?”

Someone else spoke up that I didn’t know the name of. Harold, was his name, as I would later learn. “We have three cars and three drivers... well, four if you can drive.

The tiny pony... Looked kinda like an apple pony... Wait... I think I know her name... Apple blood? Appleblood. Naw, that’s too cool for a pony. Applebloom? “Ah was one of tha drivers... til this mornen.” Yeah. Definitely an Apple.

Pinkie sniffed the air a little suspiciously, and I smoothly brought myself out of her range of divination.

Finally, I brought myself to ask the questions. “...What’s a car?”

Everyone moved to stare at me with such blatant incredulity that I felt like I had actually done something wrong.

After a few moment of this, Pinkie Pie spoke up. “...Where’s your human?”

Human? Cale? For a few seconds I felt the most profound feeling of loss that I had experienced on a long time. I experienced this just long enough for me to shove it aside and snap its scrawny neck like it was a sick animal.

I didn’t respond.

“A car is one of these. A cart that moves when you press a pedal. But really, what happened to your human half? We all had to go through it, no need to be embarrassed, Gilda.”

For a moment, I felt a deep tang of bitterness that I could hardly even recognize in the slightest as being from me, and I tried to bring it up like someone dredging up the richest of black oils from the depths of an ocean.

Then it was gone and I realized that I was still standing before everyone. I growled, mostly at myself for being so dweebish as to zone out during a conversation. “I’m not embarrassed.” I spat out, quickly. “I have no idea where the hell he is.” If possible, I sure as hell tried my best to look even more ferocious. “Where the hell is that ungrateful shard monger.” I muttered the last bit as a side note.

“...That... can’t be good... a mind just... deleting itself.” Pie said, summing up my feelings on the matter near precisely. Eh. Except for the deleting part.

...A girl dressed up as flutters spoke up. What, is Flutters some sort of... popular thing? Come on, she’s Fluttershy! Oh, maybe it’s some sort of holiday? That might explain why everyone looks absolutely ridiculous. “Yeaaaaaah.”

Armorhead spoke next. Or... Strider. Strider? Hm... Strider. “Wait just a second. There was a human mind there, and now it is gone?” Way to state the obvious, armor boy.

I shrugged, a little fed up with all the restatements. “Look, he just hasn’t done anything in a few hours. I’m sure he’s just sulking or something. He does that.”

Apple Bloom face palmed. Facehoofed. Eh.

Pinks sniffed the air again, then again, her face making something that resembled that of a cat smelling something it shouldn’t be. Then she turned straight to me with the same odd look and opened her mouth. This, I might add, her opening her mouth, was never a good sign, from what I had found through experience. “You’re in heat aren’t you.”

To my credit, I didn’t slam a fist into her face for pointing that out.

Apple Bloom shoved two hooves into her face. Yeesh. Masochistic much?

Erishy, as I was now going to call her by her stupid portmanteau, blushed, then facehooved.

Pffft. I wonder...

Oh wait, crap, I’m supposed to get angry at this, not zone out. Donning my best anger look, I burst. “Shut up. Really? You gotta tell EVERYONE here that? Dweeb, maybe I DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW?” I managed, again, to my credit, to appear even more angry.

Cueing forth another facehoof, this time from Strider Hiryu.

“...actually, on second thought, nothing I could say could fix this situation, so I’m wiping the last half minute from my memory. Let’s go trick or treating!” Wow. Did she like, grow a brain or something? No way.

She also... pulled out a pumpkin... basket... and hopped away. Merrily. I was honestly a little surprised she wasn’t whistling a tune.

Don’t you dare even try to brain that, she just had it suddenly. Whatever.

Then the Shy Eris tackled me into a hug.

…

…

…

…

…

Wow. She’s actually pretty soft. I was expecting her to be more bony and clumsy. Eh. Time’s treated her well, I guess.

I blinked at her a few times before she spoke. “Come trick or treating with us. Please?” She begged, her eyes wide with... what’s the word I’m looking for that doesn’t make this weird... Adulation?

When the hell did I learn that word? I blame Cale.

“...The hell? Seriously? Fine.” I... forced myself to wince at the hug, and fought off the urge to shiver. Well... This trick or treating thing... I was supposed to stop them from moving forward... What’s the worst that could happen to me?

Apple Bloom spoke up. “Sorry ‘bout him... he was awkward before tha whole... Pinkie thang.” Talking about Pinkie Pie, obviously. So... having a guy human tag along was the standard?

Erishy finally released the hug, the hug that I had, for the most part, started to disregard as even happening. “Oh yeah, so the human halves...” Wait wait wait. Halves? What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? The only thing Cale was half of was a pain in my neck. “Pinkie’s human half is named Reid. Mine was-” Was. WAS? WAS?!? “-named Erica, This here is Ian, in Apple Bloom’s body. Cadence’s human half is Linda and this is Julien in Shining Armor’s body.”

Pssssht. Julien? Who in their right mind names someone Julien?

“Actually, Julien and Shining are... um... the same, now...” Princess ‘Mi have an annoying voice’ Cadenza, I remembered her invitation to some sort of royal wedding that I most certainly never received said out loud, which caused another stab of shock, a bit of fury and quite a bit of... fear? Yeah. Fine. I’ll admit it. I was scared.

Juliarmor spoke after a moment. “Oh yeah, forgot to make an announcement, But anyway...” I barely resisted the urge to stab something.

“The same? That h-happens?” Oh, listen to yourself, Gilda. You sound like a stuttering hatchling.

“I know how you feel... Look, no offense against you, GIlda, but you’ve got to figure out what happened to your human before you lose him entirely.” Like hell I was going to care about Cale after hearing that bit. I was so not going to... merge with some snot nosed emo brat. Ugh.

Out of the corner of my eye EmoShy snuck off.

“... I honestly don’t give a care for him. Jerk almost broke my wings.” I looked away, pointedly, to hide my disgust. That’s all.

Then, Then, Linda flipped out on me and turned into every griffon’s worst nightmare. A magic toting psycho pony. I was pressed up against the car rather savagely which sent a large spike of phantom pain through my leg, you know, the one that was only so recently mended from the bullet? Yeah, that one. “And I DON’T give a FUCK about your shit, I’m not letting anybody die if I can help it.”

I had a snappy retort all planned and ready to hurl in her face about how much of a hypocrite she was being by almost killing me right then and there, but really, I couldn’t speak due to the pressure pinning me there. Bitch ponies. See, this is why I don’t trust so easily. They always take their chances to cheap shot you the second you let your guard down. Dammit. Dammit.

I felt a solid molten steel spike of anger come from the emotional forge of my mind. Grrrrr...

“DOWN GIRL!” someone screamed.

Cadence ‘Mi is very crazy’ snarled. “Shut it!”

“Honey. Bubbles.” My... knight in shining armor... groan... spoke up, Shining Armor, that is, and said perhaps the lamest come back ever said ever. Honey bubbles? Seriously? If those are the last words I hear before I die I will never live this down in hell.

Honey. Bubbles. Are you fucking kidding me.

“Bubbles, what? What do....” My oppressor, my jail warden, my executioner said in a most... bubbly of tones.

Are you kidding me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And then she passed out, slumping over. Then she hopped right back up.

…

…

…

Seriously?

“Sorry about her.” The pony who almost killed me said, in a markedly different manner. What, is this some sort of freaky alternate personality thing? Like, is her Cale a murderous bitch?

All I could do was grunt at her while gasping for breath on the ground.

Author's Notes:

More on the way.