The six humans got into the car, and David drove off without so much as a song from the radio.

"David, why isn't there any music?" Wade asked.

"Don't feel like it."

Link raised an eyebrow. Normally David would put on a random song. He felt a bit uneasy.

"At least Nikolai can drink in peace." Nikolai put his vodka to his mouth. David gave a smirk and hit a bump, letting Nikolai spill his poison all over himself and Wade.

"Ah fuck."

Now that's the David I know. Link thought.

The six humans were at the castle and got out. They went to the guards where Stryker spoke.

"Entry code: Kombat."

The guards nodded and let the six pass. They needed to have a very long talk with their leader. After about 15 minutes, they came into the throne room where Princess Luna sat.

"Princess Luna, where is Celestia?" Harry asked.

"She is currently in a parliament hearing. She should be back..." The side doors opened to reveal Celestia, seemingly having a joyful look. "Now apparently, I'll take my leave now. Take care." Luna trotted out of the throne room as Celestia went to her own throne.

"Well then, whatever it is that you six want, we have more pressing matters at hand." Celestia said, dropping her act.

"What, about the humans before us?" Stryker said.

"How'd you..."

"Thing that looks like mother whored herself told us." Nikolai said as he drank some more vodka.

"Discord, he meant Discord." David corrected.

"Of course. Listen, that can wait, right now, we have a challenger."

"Who?" Wade asked.

"The leader of Tuer la Grève 782 has called on you to fight him."

The group had mixed reactions. Link and Harry's were of confusion, not know why he'd just up and say he wanted to fight them when he had been losing. David and Wade smirked, clearly confident in their fighting prowess. Stryker seemed suspicious, thinking it might be a trap. Nikolai, clear as day, didn't give a shit.

"Well, well, well, tell us every single thing about him then." Deadpool said, twirling his guns around, accidentally firing a round into David's skull. The tough bone managed to deflect the bullet, but...

"Ow!" David glared at Wade, and had an angry look. "Ass."

"Sorry." Wade said as he held out his arms.

"Okay... So, what's our plan?" Stryker asked.

"We prepare, we have one month." Celestia said as she gave the letter to the six humans.

"Now then, we now need to know, who were the humans before us?" Harry asked.

"I supposed they told you of Dan and Niko?"

"And Phoenix Wright." Wade added.

"Very well, good to hear," Celestia nodded.

"Now then, why have you been hiding this fact?" Harry asked in a very serious tone.

"You never asked," she responded.

Every human deadpanned, even Wade thought that was ridiculous.

"That's ridiculous." Wade said, repeating what I just said.

He tends to do that.

In... vito... uhh... fuck.

Are you trying not to be cultured, 'cause then you'd just be a dick.

...Shut up.

HE HA HA HA HA!

David nodded in agreement with Deadpool and spoke. "Okay then, who were these..."

"Your highness, we just received a distress letter from Ponyville!"

"What? What is it?" Celestia asked her guard.

"He’s back. The one who can never truly die,” The guard said in an almost frightened tone. Celestia widened her eyes, and turned towards the others.

"Seems like this can wait, right now, the one that can never truly die is back."

"Who?" Stryker asked.

Born on Mondays...

A hand burst out from the Froggy Bottom Bog.

Murder on Tuesdays...

It pulled itself out of the murk.

Arrested on Wednesdays...

It's head was now out of the ground.

Trial on Thursdays...

It was no long submerged in water.

Conviction on Fridays...

It took a deep breath.

Execution on Saturdays...

It roared it's name.

Buried on Sundays!!!

"I am SOLOMON GRUNDY!!!"

"A zombie that cannot die for long? Damn, Nikolai owes Takeo a drink. Fuck..." Nikolai took a drink of vodka and looked down as the group rushed to the car.

"What's the worst he can do?" Stryker asked Celestia.

"Same thing he usually does, tries to kill some of my subjects, and then bury me alive. He was more successful in some moments." Celestia seemed very nervous at the buried alive line, making the humans wonder.

"Get in the fucking car!" David yelled at the others. They got in the car and David poked his head out the window. "Hop on top, Princess!"

"What! Must I...?"

"Do it, bitch!" Celestia was offended, but she understood. She flew onto the hood of the car and casted a magnification spell so she'd stick on. The car hit overdrive and they sped off.

Solomon Grundy couldn't remember anything, but from what it could tell, this reincarnation was a genius, easily knowing of how to use machinery and firearms, among other things. He set off, needing bloodshed. He sniffed the air, and ran in a direction...

Towards Ponyville.

Solomon Grundy could remember two things, a green man bashing him to another universe, and a white horse.

When he get his hands on them, they're going to buried alive.

It had reached a cottage, and saw a Pegasus feeding various animals. It growled, alerting the mare.

"Who's there?" Fluttershy screamed

"GRRRRR..." it growled, again.

"Please don't hurt me." She squeaked.

Grundy jumped out of the bushes and saw Fluttershy quiver at him. Fluttershy could tell he was human, but something was very wrong. His skin was a sickly grey, he had multiple knifes stuck in his back, a noose around his neck, and he seemed to reek of death and decay.

She hid behind her mane, hoping that the creature wouldn't hurt her. Solomon just grabbed her by the tail and ran toward Ponyville. Fluttershy in the middle of her panic attack blacked out.

"Good thing she shut up, she was annoying me."

The seven heroes stopped just shy of Ponyville, and saw many horrible things.

Buildings on fire.

Alarms ringing.

Fleeing ponies with crying foals.

Chaos...

"You know, if this happened before I was reformed, I'd take it in pride." Discord said, floating above with a concerned look on his face.

"Discord, what happened?" Celestia asked.

"Simple, Solomon Grundy crashed through buildings and hurt some ponies. I teleported them to the hospital, but that zombie is practically immune to magic," Discord explained.

"Then we will kick its ass, old-fashioned way." Nikolai said, taking out a weapon he had Wade build, called the Sliquifier. One problem though...

"You even know what that does?" Harry asked.

"I... err... Nyet, but Nikolai thinks it will be helpful."

"Just to illiterate, I built that, and even I don't know what it's supposed to do." Wade said.

The others deadpanned, except David, who just sighed.

"Yeah... And I hate to admit it, but you are the most experienced with zombies, so you're the leader." David said. Nikolai smirked.

Takeo and Dempsey both did spit-takes.

"WHAT! Oh, those guys are fucked." Dempsey said.

"Why?" Shinnok asked.

"Why? What makes you think that a drunk would be a good leader, let alone one that scared Stalin himself?" Everyone in the room went quiet, now knowing the implications of Nikolai being a leader. Dempsey put his hand to his neck, lowered it to his gut, moved it to his shoulder, and then to the other.

"Really? Good to know that someone recognizes that Nikolai is awesome."

"Whatever, let's cap that bastard's ass." Wade said, loading his guns up.

"Where do you get your ammunition?" Celestia asked, befuddled.

"I found it." Wade shrugged.

"Guns are absolutely rare here! How would..." Celestia soon began to think of a very bad possibility, which the others noticed.

"Nevermind that, let's stop Grundy!" Wade adverted.

"RIGHT!" The humans cheered in unison, charging into Ponyville.

Author's Notes:

What a twist, eh?

Thanks to Mindless Dream for editing while my main editor is recovering from a concussion. (Don't ask.)