"Mrow."

"Shhhhh..."

"Mrow."

"Lorlu, esvor shoun."

"Mrow."

"Kaia enu! Shi efrior, esvor shoun!"

"Mrow."

"Erda Celestia, shi'everen tonrasu lo sesenrayu shria len...!"

"Mrow."

Someone quietly arguing with Dimble was not quite how I'd expected to wake up. Ponies jumping me and demanding to know what I'd done with their princess maybe. Federal agents bursting in through my door, sure. Even Craig coming back late, forgetting where I was sleeping, and then sitting on me was on the list. But not this.

Since I'd done it to Craig once or twice, I grabbed my pillow without thinking and hurled it mightily in the general direction of the disturbance. A distant squeak and a large thud followed the sound of a pillow smacking a wall. I let my head collapse against my other pillow, satisfied that Craig had gotten the message.

My temple smacked painfully against the barely-padded armrest. Right. I was on the couch and that had been my only pillow.

I blinked a few times and glared the culprit down, grumbling and rubbing my now throbbing head. Through the hazy blur that was my contact-less eyes the TV and the hall entrance were both no more than rectangular patches of black. As my vision got some semblance of focus I noticed an irregularly-lit blob of yellow and blue low to the floor and to one side of the black patch on the left. That would probably be Etherea peeking cautiously around the wall at me.

Etherea?! Damnit! I'd just thrown a pillow at her!

That squeak had definitely been her, and now that I was fully awake I identified the other noise as Etherea jumping into the wall. Again. What a wonderful way to start the day! My normal routine of slapping my alarm for a good hour before grudgingly rising was still preferable to the jolt of adrenaline that left me wide awake.

Unfortunately, given the dim omnipresent light and the faint lines cast on the floor through the blinds behind me, it appeared to be some ungodly hour of the morning near sunrise. Actually, it figured. If Etherea was on what fans thought either princess' schedule was, then she would awake around sunrise for one reason or another - either dinner or breakfast. I, on the other hand, much preferred staying up late and sleeping through mornings. I didn't hate them, it's just that more interesting things happened late at night.

"Alex?"

"Yeah... Sorry about that." I indicated the lump resting against the wall not far from her. "I'm not much for mornings. But now that I'm up, what do you need?" Minimizing my surliness was a struggle.

Nothing happened for a minute, though the fuzzy wad of color shifted back and forth a couple of times. I worried that my ill-thought pillow-based assault and her subsequent run-in with my wall had really upset her. She might've even hurt herself again. She wasn't nearly as heavy as a mundane pony, but smashing her wing the wrong way would still do damage.

I sat up and put my bare feet down, preparing to rise. The blankets fell over my lap and the sudden chill on my chest, shoulders, and back made my skin prickle. It wasn't cold by any means, being June, but losing that enveloping warmth still shocked. And it reminded me that I was half-naked in front of a pony princess. Any lingering excitement over who my audience was got lost in the fact that I had an audience.

As I tried to decide whether my self-consciousness was warranted Etherea raised her head and gingerly stepped out from the behind the wall. Dimble, naturally enough, took this as a sign he was about to be fed and bolted for the kitchen.

"Shi sorna ilishuna sukezeria haerum, nasi?" Whatever it was, her hesitance made it a question, but her message was completely lost in the Equestrian.

"I... didn't catch that." I felt silly for even mentioning something so obvious. Especially if this was like yesterday and she couldn't understand me.

One of her ears twitched but she just watched. I figured that the next step was for her to cast the translation spell again but I still flinched as her horn lit. I forced myself to sit still even as my hands clenched; she wasn't in a particularly aggressive stance, so, she being a pony, I trusted in her good intentions.

She cringed, and held it, though that was probably for a very different reason. Since she slowly relaxed while still holding her magic she must be feeling better. The glow around her horn intensified for a moment, bringing the ambient illumination up just a smidge, and when she released it she triumphantly straightened to her full height.

The blob that was her head tilted and her mane swayed. "Alex, shi... Ashreva'lon! Shi aisirar loen!" The carpet suffered a harsh strike from her forehoof.

She couldn't do English? What? Did that mean we needed to do the whole process of me describing everything in the room? Again? The heavy sigh from the other side of the room confirmed it.

For the second time a golden halo surrounded her horn. "Etherea."

"Alex." I tapped my sternum.

The process went much faster now that I had an idea of what she wanted me to do and why. I still felt awkward describing every item of my living room in great detail. Who ever has to do that? Me apparently. And if this trend continued then I'd be doing it every morning for some time...

"Wait... Alex, wait." Etherea interrupted me waxing poetic about the faux wood grain of the TV stand. "There it is. I am sorry. This," her head dipped down to one side and I was pretty sure she was twisting a forehoof, "usually works... better. But without... ambient Harmony there is no easy connection between us to... locate."

Er... What? "Connection?" Somehow her inability to find one did little to lessen my sudden nervousness.

"Yes. The spell forms... connections between speakers and the listener. At first it just... learns the language. Then, like I... said yesterday, it interprets your... intended message. Normally you can just recast it later on... the latent connection, but here, without Harmony, there is nothing. I'm going to have to do it... from scratch every day!" Her shoulders slumped as she finished.

"I..." I cared, I really did, but annoyance was running my show. I had to think for a second to not spout something antagonistic. "I'm sorry, Etherea, but what is going on?"

The blurry mass of pony across the room shook once before shrinking in on itself a little. "I am sorry about th-that..." her tone was steady, though hesitant. I sighed, regretting even my slight snippyness. "I had... hoped to watch the sun rise. I-it is something I would... do every morning in Canterlot, and I just wanted... I was only going to see if... you were awake, but your cat noticed... I was up and about... I did not mean to wake you."

That was it? She just wanted to watch the sun rise? That's why I had been pulled from blissful unconsciousness several hours early? I suppose this was one way the universe could get back at me for breaking two realities. It just seemed so unbelievably minor. I couldn't just be properly smote. No, I would just be endlessly needled; tormenting myself with frustration over small annoyances like this.

And Etherea, being who she was, would be the perfect tool for it. She'd just admitted to being a morning person - pony - and she would probably be way too cheerful for my taste to once she got used to Earth. There's nothing worse than a really fucking cheerful morning person who insists on denying your slumber. I already wanted to punch her.

Her. Princess Etherea. Guest in my apartment and daughter of two very important ponies who I didn't want to piss off any further.

I was being irrational. Lack of sleep and the early hour were too easily messing with my head. At least I could see it, and that helped me suppress it - venting much of my negativity in a long, steady exhale. I don't know what it had looked like from Etherea's perspective, and I couldn't see her features, but I had to assume that she'd seen some of what I'd just gone through.

"Well, that can't be helped now." It was an effort to not lean my head in to my hand and massage my temples.

She took a step backwards, her head twisting down and to the side as she began withdrawing in to the hallway. "Well, it is no real concern. As I said, I did not mean to wake you. If it is a problem then I can just return to m..." her voice broke, "...your room and let you get back to sleep."

And now I felt bad - like I was somewhat at fault for ruining her morning. Though I could kind of see what she was trying to do; in a world where everything was strange and frightening, watching the sun rise might be a comfortingly normal routine. I still couldn't help wanting to pettily throw it all back in her face. I was awake several hours early and I still hadn't gotten any consistent rest.

That thought brought a whole slew other thoughts with it. My mind quickly dredged up all my worries from yesterday as it caught up to the moment. While I could chase Etherea away and lie back down, I knew that as soon as I rediscovered a very familiar jumbled pile of mental detritus any more sleep was going to be but a dream. Plus I didn't need the guilt.

At least the cat dying of starvation nearby was a convenient excuse...

"No." Etherea froze, her head twitching toward me. "I'm up now. Dimble thinks he's going to get fed and if I don't nip that in the bud then neither of us will get any peace." As I said this I noticed an unpleasant, faintly greasy sensation between the tips of my fingers and palms. It reminded me that my hair, face, and, well, pretty much everything was in need of good washing. I wasn't about to shove my nose under my arm, but I suspected I wouldn't like what I found. "Plus, I didn't get a shower yesterday and kinda' need one. I'm already awake and might as well do it now. In the meantime you can watch the Sun rise." I moved over to the kitchen area and Dimble's cries for food reached a feverish pitch.

Feeding my cat wasn't difficult even without being able to see very well - there's something about knowing your way around your own place. Etherea remained silent as I went through my familiar routine, me feeling a little better about myself for agreeing to let her go through hers. I kept her at the periphery of my vision and was careful to keep myself between the cat food can and her. As far as I could tell she didn't notice my deception.

That Etherea chose to stand stock still at the entrance to the living area had the hair on my neck on end. Being unable to see and judge her expression made it worse. I thought she would move closer to the window but she seemed more interested in watching me for some reason. She had my permission so what was she waiting for?

The nape of Dimble's neck was perfect for scratching, and it had the benefit of being soothing for both of us. Dimble, Dimble, Dimble... What would I do without you?

"You're... very nice." I carefully straightened while vainly trying to puzzle that one out. I guess my face conveyed just how confused I was because Etherea quickly caught herself. "I mean... You are very kind. You don't have... to do this just on my account." Her quiet words sounded perfectly sincere.

As I turned to face her I found myself unsure how to respond. "I, um... Thanks?" My brow scrunched again on its own, betraying my consternation. "But really, it's not that big a deal. At least you're asking rather than just teleporting to the roof or something..."

That was a bad thing to say. Oh, and a worse way to say it! It felt like an insult; like I was expecting her to just do whatever she wanted. That even thanking her came out wrong was infinitely frustrating. Trying to squash that feeling only added fuel, but at least afterwards it was directed more at myself than at her.

Her head shifted back and forth as though testing her surroundings and again wished vehemently that I could read her expression. Her chin lifted again, focusing an earnest voice my way. "No. I feel the need to thank you in some way..." My years of knowing Craig and being male made me miss the rest of what she said while I patiently explained to myself that she meant something very different from what I'd heard.

Was I really that bad already? Apparently so. There are just certain things you think about when there's a hot... I couldn't believe I'd just thought that either, even if it was true. But I didn't want to think that way. She was so far out of my league that I had no idea where her home stadium might be.

Talk about retarded analogies...

The point remained that the distance between us was practically insurmountable, and even trying to bridge it would only upset her. Her patience was already stretched thin enough. Having some bizarre alien creature come on to her within hours of first contact? The only thing that would do is scare the shit out of her and that wasn't what I wanted.

And I definitely shouldn't even be thinking these thoughts. Humans weren't supposed to be like this, right? At least not the normal ones...

Fortunately I was still paying enough attention to note when the flow of gratitude suddenly ended.

"Alex? Are... are you alright?"

"Hmmm?" A classic 'no, but I'm going to cover it up' if ever I've heard one! "Yeah, I'm fine. Well, as fine as I can be, I guess." What I would give to be able to see whether it was working on her... "I'm not much for mornings so you'll have to be patient while I get back in the swing of things. A shower will definitely help."

"I..." Her shoulders dropped a fraction of an inch, her mane twitching as her nose almost did the same. She held still for a little before finally nodding and silently stepping sideways across the carpet.

And I had nothing to say. Nothing meaningful at least. The silence instantly dragged at me and began to sour my mood. I felt that there was something I should say, but it just wasn't there. As I moved for the hall I averted my eyes. Etherea's own followed me as I walked past, the brilliant patches of violet blinking a couple of times in an expression I couldn't make out. For a split second our eyes met and from just a few feet away I was able to catch her chin twitch like she wanted to say something. Yet her silence remained and I kept my expression neutral as I slipped into the hall. It was awkward as hell, but I didn't know what else to do.

Being safely out of sight let me breathe easier. My contacts were first on my list of 'Things to Do Today' but I still took a moment to lean against the wall. It didn't really help, it just seemed the thing to do while I berated myself for mentally blanking.

Once in my room I wandered around curiously, wondering what Etherea might have done to it. It looked normal enough. My red- and light blue-patterned quilt and accompanying white sheets were twisted about themselves and curled into a crescent atop the mattress. It looked like she'd either built herself an actual nest - how birdlike were ponies? - or she'd been wrapped up like a burrito. I could envision both clearly and they were equally adorable. At least until I thought about her curling up as a way to hide.

At least my pessimism seemed normal this morning.

The rest of the room was pretty much how I had left it - computer, pile of dirty laundry in the corner, several stacks of books in another, my slowly-expanding collection of pony artwork, and a few photos here and there. Except for the princess-ly accoutrements decorating the top of my dresser and the sizeable collection of beauty supplies nearby - I never thought I'd be seeing that kind of thing in my room - everything seemed normal enough.

Oh, and Pony artwork? Right. I'd forgotten about my dabbles. There were two stacks - almost sheaves, really - topped by quarter-finished sketches of various ponies. The books bracketing them made them hard to see from the bed, so they might have been overlooked, but I was still uncomfortable with Etherea finding them. A quick shuffle soon had some timed human action pose sketches decorating the stacks instead.

Satisfied that everything was as orderly as I dared make it I swiped my towel and some work clothes, then got myself back to the bathroom. Despite the impending shower there was something I really had to do first. I trusted Etherea to an extent, and physically I felt fine, but that did not mean I was actually so. As I examined myself from head to toe I began to feel silly - even checking myself for abnormalities wasn't guaranteed to reveal whether or not I'd contracted anything from exposure to Pony. Yet I still felt better knowing that my eyes were their normal shape and color, all my hair was in the right places, there were no mysterious lumps that might be nascent wings or horn, and, most importantly, my penis remained polka-dot-free.

I set the shower to just a hair off from scalding, the water biting slightly at my skin just the way I liked it. The initial temperature shock woke me up but the spreading warmth that followed was just what I needed to relax. That part was such a relief that I abused the hell out of the shower and took my sweet time while my thoughts wandered.

What was I going to tell my boss about yesterday? The 'family emergency' plan was probably best. But would he accept it? The one thing I knew for sure was that there would be (mostly) good-natured jibes . I didn't like it, but I was again relying on his appreciation for the quality and consistency of my work.

What about my other coworkers? Carl would probably start much like Dave, but in the end he was often the more sympathetic. Our two part-timers, Nace and Reggie, would probably respectively show quiet indifference and genuine sympathy. Nace, however, was off today so I shouldn't have to worry about the young father of three.

In the end I'd run through a dozen or so possible conversations about what I'd been up to. I felt prepared for everything from the ludicrous - my boss immediately asking why the hell I was hiding an Equestrian pony - to the wonderfully mundane - nobody really caring. I felt prepared.

And naturally that was just a sign that something was going to go wrong.

As I padded into the living area in my socks, my water-slick hair hanging freely about my shoulders and a comb in my hand, I was met by a curious sight. Etherea wasn't anywhere near the window. My feet skidded on the carpet as my heart leapt in to frenzied action. A quick but exacting scan of the vicinity revealed that she wasn't in front of the window where I expected her. She was...

...behind the island with her hooves on the counter under the cabinets? I froze and cocked my head, not wanting to disturb her for fear of missing something. A glowing bowl settled itself neatly in place atop the island. I guess I sucked at inconspicuously observing because she flashed me a nervous grin before lifting her head to peer back into the cupboard. My eyes were drawn lower as she did so, finding the tips of her wings fluttering as she stretched the entire length of her slim body to reach a few inches higher.

I snapped my eyes shut in refusal of what I was doing and forced myself to take a deep breath. I wouldn't piss off the magically-gifted Pony princess by leering!

When I felt safe enough to open my eyes a second bowl was coming in for a gentle landing. Yes it was about breakfast time, but why was she setting the counter? My heart skipped a beat as I imagined her digging around the fridge for more breakfast fixings; Craig probably hadn't taken any of the other carnivorous leftovers with him last night. I began picking my way across the room after tossing my pillow back on to the couch, carefully keeping my eyes on just her face as a third bowl floated out of the cabinet.

I decided to start off innocently, tipping my head in the direction of the couch. "Hey, what's going on? I thought you wanted to watch the Sun."

Her body stiffened and her eyes widened slightly, like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't be. "I..." She pushed off the counter but her hooves slipped as she dropped back down, nearly smashing her chin against the counter. I think we both gulped at how close that had been, her eyes were even wider as I put my hand on the island top.

"Um... It is c-cloudy, so I could not-t... actually w-watch the sunrise." Her disappointment was almost lost under the sharp spike in her tone. Eventually she took a careful step back, eyes fixed on the counter edge just under her nose. "Since I-I woke you up early, and-d I apologize... for that, I-I began thinking... about how m-much you are doing for me and how I should find something that I can do for you. I was not... sure what you may need doing, but I can at least help out around here." I caught an eye flick my way just before she turned to levitate the boxes of cereal out from under the cabinets.

"Thanks. I guess. But it's not necessary. I just need you to rest up and get home quickly before everything can really go to hell." That was also the wrong way to say things even if it was true, and I shook my head once as I tried to come up with better phrasing.

"I suppose that... is, um, kind of you, but I insist. I have every intention of returning home... as soon as I am able. But in the mean... time what kind of princess would I be if I just lay around doing nothing all day? Even... if it is just the small things, I promise to... do what I can." She nodded and again finalized her plan as a fact.

Even if I kind of wanted her out of my hair I honestly did appreciate her offer. Perhaps I could have her do the housecleaning. That thought made me cringe; she seemed to be a strong, motivated kind of... mare... even if the whole 'stranded on an alien planet' thing had shaken her. Somehow it felt wrong to make her do our cleaning. Though perhaps I was looking at it the wrong way; I wasn't forcing unpleasant chores on her, she was willingly taking them on herself.

However, in the mean time I did get into the fridge and retrieve the milk and orange juice before she could.

"I guess I'll consider it." She pursed her lips at me. "But just so you know, as long as he isn't cooking, it's Craig's job to do the dishes, okay?"

Her muzzle bobbed as she examined what lay atop the island. "That seems fair. I will refrain from... washing dishes."

The only thing lacking so far was the silverware. Etherea's solution, since she apparently didn't remember exactly where such things were, was to grasp every drawer handle at once with her magic and pull them all open to locate her quarry. I couldn't help but shudder as a cold prickle rolled across my back at the casual display of power. It was wonderful justification for me to keep her attractiveness a secret.

"You must be feeling better." I said as a short train of silverware came over to decorate the island.

"Mmhmm." Her face lifted as she stepped smoothly around the island, her eyes shining in a way I hadn't seen yet. I felt better just seeing her more upbeat. Did that make me weird? I was probably overthinking things. I definitely was. "I think I... am recovering faster than I feared yesterday, so I believe I may... be able to return home in only a week or so! It is a bit... hard to judge since I am relying solely... on my own ability to recover, but I may actually be able to send... a message home today!"

She might be able to call off the pony hit squads? Wonderful! If even one of my worries could be eased... "Oh, I... Yes! Do that if you can!" My whole face felt like it had been taken over by what was surely a very stupid grin. Though its growth was reversed when my brain injected a healthy dose of doubt. "But wait, I thought you said that it took some obscene amount of energy to do that kind of thing."

"You mean Harmony."

"I guess... You haven't told me how all that works yet."

Her lips parted and, other than a momentary fluttering of her eyelids, her face went blank. "Oh. Um. Let's see... Neyen'so shi seylor len...? On Equestria Harmony is... everywhere to some extent or another. Every material that makes up... our world has a certain level of Harmony, though on their own the levels are almost... universally low."

"Basic... things like rocks, air, and water naturally have a... little Harmony to them. Um... More complex things like... clouds, wood, mud, and metal also have about the same on their own. Harmony can also be found in... things like light, shadow, and fire. Even the things that... make up animals, ponies and other intelligent species normally have... What?" Her tone had again taken on a steady, patient droning as we switched positions so that she could sit at the end table, a glass of water drifting along ahead of her.

Unfortunately she seemed to assume that I couldn't grasp just how pervasive Harmony was - as though I were a foal. "I get that Harmony is everywhere."

The hand I was about to use to pour milk hovered immobile as Etherea's violet eyes speared me through. My heart leapt as I realized I'd sort of snapped at her.

"Sorry. I, uh, think I'll be able to understand most of what you'll say." I dropped my eyes to my cereal, though really I was more interested in avoiding hers. "I'll... I'll ask if I don't get something."

"Right... I... That is fair. You are... not a foal after all." That's exactly what I was thinking! "So you know that Harmony... is everywhere. By itself it is a relatively neutral... force, neither interacting or affected much. However it takes on certain... um, qualities of whatever it associates with. So the Harmony of... a rock will carry with it the impression of that particular rock. I... think that's the best way to... explain it."

She took a moment to think and to take the milk from my hand. By 'take the milk from my hand' I mean that she fixed the carton with a look, steadied her jaw, and surrounded her horn, the milk, and my fingers with shifting, golden backlighting. My first reaction was to shriek like a man and rip my hand back to the safety provided by my chest and other arm. The more rational part of my brain insisted that she just wanted to share in the wondrous activity of breaking our fast, not my fingers.

As the milk drifted away from me I couldn't help but stare awestruck at my fingers. I hadn't felt a damned thing. Sure it was like someone had lifted just lifted a carton of milk from my grasp, but her magic hadn't tingled, vibrated, stung, been any kind of eerie new sensation, or even the slightest bit warm. There had been absolutely nothing out of the ordinary as far as my fingers were concerned.

"Are... you okay?"

I'd just spent the last however-long examining a hand I was almost afraid to move... "Yeah, sure. I'm okay." It was a flimsy assertion and her raised eyebrow said that she agreed. "It's just that I couldn't feel your magic at all. I thought there'd be something... anything."

Etherea hummed and pursed her lips at that. "That actually makes sense. Our connection... to Harmony allows us to sense it around us... but your lack of it should leave you... um, blind? That might be the... best translation."

I nodded since I had no way to disagree, no matter what my gut thought. "Sure, okay. I guess that makes sense..." Apparently my hand fascinated her again. Hell, it was fascinating me as well. "You were saying?"

"Hmmm? Oh. So yes, Harmony is everywhere." She took a moment to enjoy a bite and I followed suit. "Under normal circumstances Harmony by itself... well, isn't much. However it can be collected and directed. Gemstones... are examples of natural... repositories, though they don't actually influence the surrounding Harmony. Most living things, on... the other hoof, can both store and control... Harmony to some extent." She raised her head to see whether I was still following, so I nodded again. "Ponies, for example, have learned to be aware... of their own Harmony and how to cooperate with it - trying to force Harmony to... do things just doesn't work very well. And as a... pony becomes more attuned to her own Harmony she... finds it easier to sense and affect the Harmony around... her. As long as she understands and cooperates with... the local Harmony it will respond sympathetically and assist her in return. Hence the term Harmony."

And another pause for cereal. "So as an example, the Celestial... Princesses have as much influence as they do... simply because they are the most Harmonious beings."

"So Harmony is everywhere, it surrounds and flows through you, and binds everything together?" Oh, if only she could get that one!

"I... that is, um, amazingly accurate."

I was suddenly in danger of laughing right in her face, especially since she just looked so serious. Seeing one of her ears shift to half-mast told me she had figured out that something was up and that I now needed a distraction.

"Got it. So if Harmony is the power source, what is 'magic?'" Normally silence was the best way for me to avoid something, but I felt pretty good about what I'd pulled out. I also had my suspicions about her next answer, though I wasn't about to risk another innocent yet highly offensive moment.

"Magic is simply... the process of somepony using her own Harmony to reach out, interact with, and... shape the Harmony around her." Bingo! I was right! "Understanding Harmony better... allows for a larger... individual capacity, and that in turn will let a pony create... more and greater magical effects." She fluffed her wings as she finished with a small, satisfied smile.

I mulled over what she'd said as I got a few more bites in me. The basics were, well, basic enough, but my brain just wasn't satisfied for any length of time. "I don't mean to be rude, but then what about my original question?" Her head tilted to the side, causing one ear to flop a little. "You practically burned yourself out getting here. In fact, you said that you nearly died." She flinched. Oh, I shouldn't have reminded her of that! "I don't want you..." her eyes narrowed slightly, "I... mmmm... I mean I can tell that magic is still uncomfortable for you, and I just want to make sure that you are up to trying a spell that will let you reach Equestria without seriously hurting yourself."

We locked eyes for a moment and the corners of her mouth started to slip downward. I was about to look away when her expression softened. "Thank you, but you do not... need to worry about me. I have been made very aware of my limits. This time... I won't be trying to scrye to a whole new world and then transmit an entire pony to it," her nose dipped away, failing to hide a faint blush, and her ears twitched, "it will just be... a simple impression that I am well and to not worry. I should be able to safely reach Princess Luna through... her dreamscape even if it does take... more effort than usual."

I didn't know much about magic, nor was I any kind of judge of what she was actually capable of - though what she'd done so far was incredibly impressive - but that didn't stop me from trying to figure out whether she actually would be safe. "If you're absolutely sure."

The spoon floating its way toward her mouth paused and she let her wonderfully violet eyes meet mine. We held our poses for a moment; her face unreadable and me wondering if I truly was doing the right thing. But it wasn't long until a demure little smile appeared on her muzzle.

"I am." Her voice was quiet as her grin grew to lightly brush her eyes. "Thank you."

"Well then, I hope it works. And while you're at it, would you mind passing along a preemptive apology for me?"

Her little smile became fully-grown and, while it lingered, her spoon was forced to wait in the air to one side. The exaggerated eye roll was also a nice touch. "Yes. I think I can do that." Even if the following bite was quick, the careful way she nabbed it from her spoon still made it dainty.

And there was still so much to ask about. What to choose? "So I've got an idea of what magic is, but how does it work?" That was definitely too vague. And probably also something I was ill-equipped to truly understand. Too bad it was too late to take it back and ask something smarter.

"Well, um..." Etherea blinked and examined her bowl with a furrowed brow. "That depends on who is doing it. For a unicorn it is... almost like reaching out with a phantom limb to, um, grasp the Harmony around... her and manipulate it. Does that make sense?"

I could imagine imagining an immaterial hand in to existence and using it to grab or change things. Really, as far as ways to create... use magic, it wasn't that strange. I bobbed my head to show her that I understood.

She slowly cocked her head and regarded me with interest. "For somepony who... has never been around actual magic, you seem very accepting of it."

I shrugged and smirked. "What can I say? Humans have impressive imaginations so what you've described so far isn't all that strange. Plus we do already have a show giving us a look at what ponies can do."

"Oh... Right. You do have that. Though it only shows what magic looks like; it is not so simple as what you have seen. There are... patterns, I guess would be a good way to... describe them, and elemental affinities to Harmony. A unicorn needs to understand both of these... about her target as it is, and also what they need to be after she makes changes. Her magic is limited this way. If... she cannot, um, conceptualize both of these at once and create a... path for the changes to follow - that's probably... the best analogy - then she cannot perform the magic.

"Then there is also... the amount of Harmony she will use. That... depends on how drastic a change she is trying to make, how complex the change... is, and several other factors such as distance and... area affected. Most magic, like basic levitation, is normally quite localized. Many... Unicorns simply do not have the personal Harmony to... perform much in the way of more complex magic outside of their special talent."

I was tempted to raise my hand, but Etherea closed her mouth and bobbed her nose at me. I guess she could tell I had a question. "I take it that not just any unicorn would be able to teleport to Earth?"

"Yes, you would be correct." She looked away and folded her ears. "If just anypony could do it, then this... wouldn't be so much of a problem. But once I had started the process I, um... needed to feed..? Feed the... spell a constant, massive stream of Harmony or have it fall apart on me." Her eyes scrunched shut and she shuddered slightly. "Using Harmony... so recklessly can seriously damage the user's Harmony, and... through it her body. Because a unicorn's horn, and primary... focus, is directly connected to her brain most could not survive... what I did to get here."

And I felt guilty. Craig and I had thoughtlessly put her in so much danger. And Craig had only gotten involved because of me, so... Yeah, I felt like a huge ass. "I'm sorry..."

She rolled her eyes at me! "I really am all right. I also already... forgave you, so you can stop appologizing."

I caught myself before I could apologize for apologizing too much. It was a wonderfully stupid thing to have almost done. I found Etherea's ears pointed right at me and her eyes were practically dancing so the situation wasn't lost on her. Oh well, I might as well blush too. It also sounded like a good time for a topic switch to me.

"Okay, unicorns work by playing with patterns of Harmony at a distance." That got me a raised eyebrow - I must not have quite gotten it. "How about pegasi and earth ponies?"

"Unicorn magic is, um, more..." she took a second to chew on what she wanted to say, mouthing it to herself before continuing, "...formulaic? Shoor loeth esvarne unresai. Koasleseren nen." Her tone was lightly amused and my confusion definitely spilled into my expression, though she continued without noticing. "Pegasi and Earth Pony magic is more... intuitive. Where a Unicorn must learn the spells... she knows, other ponies generally have a set of skills that... they simply find a capacity for."

She tilted her head and glanced upward while twisting her lips just a little. "This means... that other ponies generally don't have to spend so much time... planning exactly what they want to happen; it just does so when they will... it. But that doesn't make the abilities of Pegasi or Earth Ponies any less potent - being able to break... or fuse blocks of stone in to any desired shape with one's... hooves, or standing in and directing the heat of an open... kiln with the motion of one's wings is just as impressive as anything I can do!"

Ok, those did sound impressive since humans couldn't normally do anything like that, but it also sounded almost like she was trying to convince me of that. Was there pony racism? Magicism? If things really were as harmonius as she made it seem, then something would have to be seriously wrong with Equestria for such bigotry to even exist. The possibility that Etherea was purposely painting her world in a more positive light for me was disturbing. I didn't want a dirty, gritty Equestria.

"...you examples... of both, I think." Wait, what had I missed? "Actually, you have already seen examples of Unicorn... magic with this translation spell, but I could still show you intuitive magic."

I don't know why I was so nervous. It's not like I thought Etherea was out to get me at this point. Actual magic was still just so very far outside normal for me. But maybe I was justified; it was still possible there were unknown side effects to exposure. What if I turned in to a diminutive Pegasus? As if this whole scenario wasn't hard enough without fears of losing my own body in the mix. Great! Now I was really nervous!

But she wasn't. And I could trust her, right?

"Sure, I guess."

"I will need your hand."

"My... hand?" Again I had to tell myself that she wasn't doing all this just to hurt me - her bright, innocent expression and perky ears were a little reassuring.

She nodded once. "Mmhmm. I might have the... dexterity of a Pegasus, but these utensils are still a little small... for me to grasp." Her spoon set itself down and she moved a hoof over it. When her hoof rose again the spoon stayed stuck to it in defiance of all natural physics! It was immaterial that her eyes were set as though trying to drill through her hoof to the silverware beneath. No amount of concentrating should make it possible for a solid hoof to lift a spoon!

Then the spoon twitched, one end threatening to fall, and faint matching halos appeared around horn and spoon alike. She exhaled heavily through flared nostrils and those violet eyes met mine as the halo took full control of the now-floating spoon.

"See? I can't quite do... it without using Unicorn magic." The same hoof then stretched up toward me.

My eyes twitched between hers and the offered hoof. Was I really going to make my hand suffer through whatever this was? Quite possibly. I know I'd already held her hoof a couple of times, but my hand needed a moment to come to grips with being 'magicked.'

My hesitation earned another eye roll, this one clearly exasperated. "You will be fine, I promise."

I couldn't not do it, I suppose, since I felt bad for questioning Etherea's good intentions, so my hand slid slowly through the intervening space to meet its fate. Her hoof darted forward when my hand was mere inches away, slipping under my fingers and tilting my hand back so that it pointed straight up. Before I could even start thinking about jerking my hand away something wrapped around it. It wasn't like the localized pressure of someone's fingers or even the light, enclosing touch of a glove, it was more like the uniform and constant feeling of something denser than the surrounding air. It was almost like the front, back, and sides of my palm - and just my palm - were wrapped in several feet of water, minus the wetness. Yet even that wasn't quite right.

And there was still nothing to see! Neither my hand nor Etherea's horn were glowing. My hand was simply stuck to her hoof! And yet it there was still something more exciting: my hand was touching the hoof of an actual Equestrian Pony! It was going to take a long time to get over that one.

"It's a... more instinctive method of magic." The pressure shifted, applying itself at a consistent angle all around my hand - that seemed the best way to describe it - and my hand rotated until the back was pressing against her hoof! "Unlike Unicorn magic this can simply... be willed to happen - like walking or, um, talking - so it is less taxing and... often can be used more quickly. The only drawback to such... magic is that it always has a narrow focus." She grinned brightly and the pressure grasping my hand to her hoof dissipated. "Does that make sense?"

"Sure. Yeah." My poor hand had been magicked... I flipped it over a couple of times and tried to determine what, if anything, was now wrong with it.

"Hehe. You're fine." My hand received an emphasizing poke from her hoof. She really must be feeling better.

I placed my hand back on the island top and immediately noticed a problem. We'd forgotten all about our breakfast! Ew, mooshy cereal...

I called attention to our mutual problem and after some grumbling there were fresh helpings all around. We didn't say much of anything after that though. I might have spent far too much time wondering whether there was something else we should talk about, but there really wasn't. The two of us enjoying breakfast in peace was more than enough for the moment. I even managed to forget most of my troubles for a while, though sitting across from a pony whose face had all the best features of a cute girl's merged neatly with something vaguely equine meant that my mind wasn't truly vacant of them. As much as I tried to resist, it was impossible to fully ignore the fact that there was an attractive Pony sitting across from me. Still, even if some anxiety lingered, it felt damned good to just sit back and relax a little.

With breakfast taken care of we stashed the dishes in the 'In' rack for Craig to file later and soon found ourselves in the living area. Etherea slowed as she crossed the expanse of carpet, her eyes lifting toward the window. The entire sky was blanketed in thick gray from what I could see. It was quite dreary, the heavy sigh and drooping wings of my alicorn guest said that she felt the same. I'd like to think that it was sympathy that left me standing there and staring at her immaculately-filed hooves, but I'd be lying if I claimed anything but indecision. Shouldn't I be offering more comfort?

A familiar pinch of guilt struck the back of my mind as Etherea was neatly arranging her hooves, tail, and wings while settling to the floor in the corner. It was a horrible thing to do - confining her to the small, out-of-the-way nook between the couch and the wall - but I was helpless in the face of the fact that we couldn't risk her being seen. She didn't seem to mind, but still, it was the principle of the thing. But almost as if Etherea could sense my thoughts - now that was a scary one! - I received a calm, friendly smile as I sank in to the couch. I guess I could let myself be mollified.

Etherea was a little disappointed that Craig hadn't joined us for breakfast, though without the smell of something cooking to jiggle him out of his daily coma there was no way he'd be up before ten. Her sour mood was short-lived though; I mentioned that she'd still be able to have 'breakfast' with Craig a little later. I wasn't able to figure out why she was excited to spend time with him after yesterday, but we soon had a lively conversation going to distract me.

I had monopolized the topics during breakfast so I let her ask the questions. Fair is fair after all. Being that the proverbial elephant was right in front of us, she naturally asked about the television. I described the inner workings of Craig's idiot box to the best of my ability, which led us to how such visuals were generated, and then to where all the power came from.

Who knew that talking about the world's electrical grid could be so fascinating? I certainly hadn't before then, but she was eating it up. While Equestria's infrastructure was apparently just as convoluted, it relied a lot more on circuits based on Harmony than electrical. At least that's what I got out of it. The processes for drawing Harmony in to the system were automated much like our own generators, but they varied greatly depending on where they were and what the local Harmony was like. Even though I pointed out that we also generated power in a variety of ways - from Nuclear (I massively glossed over that one) to Hydroelectric - the idea that humans pretty much used a single base process to fuel the entirety of modern civilization left her awestruck. Go magnetism!

At least Etherea was in good company; I nearly lost all my trains of thought when she not only admitted Equestria had a power grid but started comparing it to ours! The impression I got was that it wasn't nearly as extensive, nor quite so advanced, but still... She was talking magitech! Harmonitech? Her description certainly painted the Equestrian system as much more in tune with the ways of their world and the species populating it.

And either way, it certainly explained the pad device and stylus she had - Equestria was more advanced than the show made it seem. She did say that Ponyville tended to be rustic though. There were town ordinances concerning a particular historical look and feel of the place.

Dimble's reaction to all this was... interesting to say the least. He ventured by several times, clearly confused at all the activity. I was as much a night owl as Craig so the mornings around here were quiet unless I was forced to get up early for something - work for instance. My poor cat wasn't sure whether to come or go, so he ended up spending time either hanging out on the windowsill or being attended to by one or both of us.

That Dimble showed no fear of Etherea was a bit strange; like most cats he had a healthy wariness about anyone he didn't already know. But every time he came around he was sure to go nosing around the princess in the corner. She had to dissuade him from getting too forward a couple of times so I guess there was something about her that he liked. Perhaps he was able to sense her Harmony in a way that I couldn't, and it checked out.

Or, since he discovered that the armrest was a perfect place from which to assault her wings, he was just wondering why there was giant bird hanging around. At least he managed to abscond with only a single small feather. Etherea bore the whole ordeal with stoic grace, but the way her pose stiffened told me that she was really quite miffed over the ruffling.

Craig also managed to provide a good distraction when he took a bathroom break, grumbling all the way about a certain two people making too much fucking noise this fucking early in the fucking morning. I glued my attention to Etherea as Craig swore up and down the hallway, secretly preparing to dive from the line of fire. I was more than a little impressed when she only blushed and wrinkled her nose cutely in distaste.

Then we looked at each other. It was one of those perfect moments when two people are thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time and realize it. We laughed as one - struggling to keep our volume down - her bubbly giggles ringing out over my chuckles. It was wonderful!

She caught herself first, her voice cutting out as her chin dropped and her ears darted under her mane. "I suppose we have been a little... too loud. I hope he is not too angry."

"Oh, don't worry. Craig's got no legs to stand on in the noise complaint department." That didn't seem to reassure her at all. In fact, I quickly came under fire from a very disappointed frown. "Ah... well, um... I'm sure we're not actually as loud as it seems from that. I certainly don't think we've been." That wasn't even reassuring to me!

I ended up looking away self-consciously as she gave me a flat stare. "Well, it... seems that I am disrupting everypony's schedule."

"Oh, it's not that bad..." Shut up mouth! There's no good that can come of this line of thought. Etherea's stare managed to get even 'flatter' somehow. But this lasted all of a moment before my alicorn guest smoothly rose on her hooves.

"I suppose this is as good a time... as any for me to take a shower. And I can also do something about my bandage. It is... beginning to itch." The ear nearest her injury flicked once in emphasis as she turned to walk out of the room.

Well fuck. And I had been doing so well too. But I couldn't take all the credit; she'd been much more chipper with the possibility of contacting Equestria looming. It just felt like the end of the conversation was still my fault. If only I'd said something more appropriate - like just admitting that we were being a little loud and agreeing to be less so. There was probably an honesty lesson in there somewhere. I sighed in frustration that only after the fact was I able to think of anything better to say.

To my surprise Etherea stepped partially back in to view less than a minute later. While I blinked at her she directed a quick, hesitant glance toward Craig's door and whispered. "Um, are there any more clean... towels?"

"What's wrong with the pink one you used yesterday?"

"I already used it." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but her puzzled expression matched the feeling welling up within me.

"You don't want to use it again?" Was she really expecting a fresh towel every day? The fact that she was a princess probably meant that yes, she had grown up with and now expected that kind of treatment. Her latest eye roll came complete with similar head movement and a frown. And then my brain finally caught up and reminded me that this was a Pony princess I was getting snippy with!

"Wait, let me back up. Unfortunately you used all of the other towels and there isn't time to wash them. Is there anything actually wrong with that towel? What's so bad about using it again?"

"It has already... been used, so it is no longer clean. Is... this how you live? Asking about hoof towels... and the bed sheets would... also be pointless then?" Yup, pissing off the princess again. But this conversation was just so stupid. "Would it be best if I started helping by... doing your laundry? My shower can wait a little while if it means at least... I will have a clean towel."

I forced my mouth shut so that I wouldn't gape. "There are a few problems with that." That got her attention. "One, the apartments don't come with washers and dryers so we have to use the laundry room which is out there." I swung an arm in the direction of the front door. "Two, if I'm going to work today, like you insisted, then I don't have time to do the laundry just for you right now. And three, the laundry room costs money and we can't afford to do it every day. That's why Craig and and I are roommates, we're not very wealthy people..." Like you.

Her glare should have killed me. But whatever retort she might have had was cut short as she took a backward step deeper in to the hall, her head snapping around toward Craig's door. "I... I suppose that if this is such a problem for you... that it will not hurt me to use the same towel again. I did not realize that you... I will cope." Her voice may have been small but her stiff poise and darting eyes told the story of a princess who was looking for a way out.

Oh, no... Losing that privileged lifestyle must really suck...

She eventually disappeared back toward my room without either of us saying anything more and it wasn't long before the shower began running. I couldn't believe that we'd just had that conversation. She wasn't in Equestria anymore, and Craig and I weren't servants to take care of all the piddly, shitty things she didn't ever have to deal with. It was stupid of her to expect five star service from a half-a-star apartment complex (I was probably being too hard on the place). While stretching my feet out from the couch with my head leaned back in a very familiar 'thinking' position I let myself just fume.

Yet it didn't take very long before I began regretting what I'd said. Even if she'd come across as overly entitled, I knew there had to have been a better way to get my point across - like telling her she was being dumb and needed to shut up. Why hadn't I remembered that?! I shouldn't have snapped so hard at her and it upset me that I hadn't found a gentler way to explain that she wasn't going to get coddled here. She may not have been entirely innocent, but I couldn't justify my own actions after stooping so low for them. Was that being too nice?

Plus I still had to live with her for the time being.

As the shower stopped and I began to hear sounds of Etherea moving around - the many hollow 'thunks' of her hooves broadcasting how difficult the tub was for her - I began psyching myself up for our next encounter. She took her sweet time to finish up and that gave me plenty to myself. Knowing that I wanted to apologize didn't make it any easier to admit that I had done wrong, and as the bathroom door opened I had to viciously quell a resurgence of righteousness.

I had to force my steps to be measured and steady as I approached the hall. "Etherea?" When the hallway came into view so did the rigid pose, narrowed eyes, and folded ears of my Pony guest - a Pony! - who I had caught mid-step and halfway out of the bathroom. Even the faint glistening that highlighted her features in all the right ways failed to soften the fear that surged at facing her down like this.

"I seriously fu..." No! No swearing at her right now! "...messed up. That came out completely wrong, and I'm sorry." For a long, silent moment we just stared at each other. Then without warning she turned and headed stiffly back to my room.

Well fuck you too, princess.

I found myself back to lounging across the couch, one leg out and the other cocked. An elbow on the armrest propped me up so I could see outside and ponder a whole lot of nothing as I watched the clouds lazily slipping across the sky. I was getting monumentally frustrated with the constant back and forth of the whole situation. That I kept wanting to simply watch her, and felt a messed up mix of fear and revulsion because of it, made it even worse. The sooner Princess Etherea was gone, the better.

FWUMP!

I did my best to leap straight to ceiling at the sound of something large and soft hitting the carpet behind me. I flipped over on to my left side...

...finding a certain golden-yellow alicorn lying on her stomach in the middle of my living area with her forehooves stretched forward, her eyes averted, and her feathers haphazardly splayed about her flanks. I couldn't decide whether to be more angry or confused.

As I sat up and tried to wrestle down my racing pulse, again, she raised her head high and took a deep breath. Anger began to win over as her severe look and regal bearing registered themselves to the part of me that was keeping track. Though those vibrant violet irises were aimed in my direction she didn't really seem to be looking at me. If she was going to demand, berate, order, ridicule, or any number of things, well, I wasn't going to take...!

She exhaled heavily through her nose, her mane falling forward as her neck bent to follow the short descent of her head. Her wings and shoulders also slumped a little, like her exhale had actually deflated her.

"I am very... much, mmmm... out of sorts, so I ask... No... Please forgive me if I find all of this very hard to deal with." She wasn't going to yell at me? Her voice was actually quite weak. "My mother and... father - especially my father - suggested that it would do me good to spend some time... away from Canterlot and travel around Equestria. To see... what the rest of Equestria was really like, and to see my potential... subjects for who and what they really are." She stopped with her mouth half-open before shaking her head slightly. "To... see what life is really like out... um, here. But there was always something... more important or interesting to do. Or more fun. Every time I... did travel it was with my family, so I never really considered going without... everything that I'm used to. I never thought I would ever... end up anything like... this." A shudder overtook her, the struggle bringing a momentary silence with it. "So I suppose that I am... very... sheltered."

To say I was stunned was an understatement. I was ready to throw half a dozen arguments at her, all aimed to hurl her from that pedestal, but for this I had nothing. Blinking sounded like a good plan. Nice and safe too.

Her voice had been gaining strength as she went along and by this time her head had risen so she could again look me in the eye - not down her muzzle, but evenly and earnestly. "I think that, even though... I said that I forgave you, I'm still a little upset... at you for everything. But I... I realized that I should be happy that I'm safe... and have a towel; not upset that my towel is not the exact one I wanted. I really do... not mean to be difficult."

It took a moment of silence for me to understand that this was it. She might not have said the exact words, but there was barely concealed anticipation in every line of her body as she awaited my response. She wanted me to accept her apology. And I was surprised to find myself willing to give it. Okay, maybe not surprised that I would give it - I really wasn't very good about holding grudges - but at how soon I was willing to.

It must be sympathy. I could forgive her because she wasn't just some pampered princess - even if that was kind of accurate - she was also a lost pony desperately trying to find her way while so very far from everything she knew. After all, at times I'd tried imagining what it would be like to find myself stranded in Equestria. I think every fan has. I don't think I could truly understand how terrifying it would be to lose literally everything, from your home and family to your very perception of reality. But now I was seeing the results.

Though it was clearly very hard, Etherea really was trying. And, well... I liked that about her.

"It is pretty clear that you haven't spent that much time outside the..." It wasn't Etherea's frown that stopped me so much as me noticing where I was going. "Ahh... How about I just say apology accepted?"

I faced another eye roll, but she relaxed as a sigh escaped her. Her ears remained upright, so that was a good sign. "Good. So we forgive each other. And I think we can both agree to... try being more lenient when it comes to each other's... um... foibles."

I nodded. "I'll certainly try."

With that she smiled and got back to her hooves, flipping her wings once to get them back in order. "Well... then, if you will excuse me a moment I did not bring any... of my things with me." She turned to go but stopped just before the hall entrance and looked back at me. "Thank you Alex."

It was a glorious position. Etherea's front was angled so she could smile over her withers at me, her rear, from her trim haunches and all the way down the lean curves of her long legs, was fully presented. Only her slightly perked blue-on-blue tail somehow managed to prevent her from actually being indecent. My heart lurched as the universe saw fit to remind me just how undeniably attractive she was with a faint 'freshly showered' luster.

I riveted my eyes to a point above her withers lest she figure out and take offense to where I really wanted to look. I wasn't stupid enough to find out what would happen otherwise.

Even as my desire to simply enjoy looking at Etherea found new strength against my determination to not do that exact thing, I found myself amazed that she'd never actually flashed me. Her tail was always right there. I couldn't be sure if I just hadn't paid enough attention - which I seriously doubted - or if this was some kind of etiquette thing. Did ponies have public decency rules despite lacking clothing? Now there was a question I should probably keep to myself. Randomly asking, 'So, is the tail blocking my view of your privates a societal thing or am I just not looking hard enough?' would be a quick way to get a pair of hoof-shaped holes in my chest.

The only thing she was missing was a suggestive wink. How the hell could she not realize how she looked right then? And also, what the hell was wrong with me...?!

Wait, Etherea was still looking at me? Quick! Say something! "Y'know, if it's any help, you should be able to convince Craig to do the laundry when he gets up." That worked, I guess.

"Craig does laundry?"

Once again Etherea's face was completely innocent. For one perfect silent moment my surprise built before being overwhelmed by a completely different feeling. "I know, it surprised me too!" I burst in to laughter.

She twitched, snorted, and then joined me.

What time I had left before work was much more pleasant. I started by changing Etherea's bandage again - her wound seemed to be clean enough and doing just fine - before she went through her ritual morning pretty-fying. It went much faster now that she felt able to use her magic. She also eventually took up preening her wings which left her a little light on conversation. That she chose to do so now and right there surprised the hell out of me - I'd thought preening was a private activity. Apparently, while most Pegasi didn't often preen outside their home, it really wasn't public or private and sometimes wings just needed an immediate cleaning.

Plus apparently she felt that simply spending time together would be a good way to put everyone at ease. Not that the faint smell of lilacs and thoughts of spending more time with her did anything but fill me with a roiling mixture of emotions, leaving me more tense than before. But to keep in the spirit of things I put on a pleasant face and carefully kept to myself all comments about the necessity of meticulously refreshing both wings over one tiny feather whose lack I couldn't tell in the first place.

I'll be honest that I was still completely entranced by what she was doing. Being able to see wings up close like this and without worrying about scaring them away was a novel experience. I just had to take advantage of this perfect opportunity to examine their structure and movements, and I raptly followed along as she nosed among the various sizes and shapes of feathers, smoothing them out and laying them in place with her lips. She showed such deft, delicate skill that I knew for a fact that ponies could write with their mouths. And what else could those lips of hers could do... That was another line of thought that I grimly purged with mental fire.

The sparse conversation, and a desire to keep my mind away from a certain set of unwelcome thoughts, eventually led me to something I was glad to remember before leaving: Etherea being at the apartment (relatively) alone. There were just so many things that could go wrong. I felt safer being around just in case, but Etherea was adamant that she would be fine without me hovering.

"I suppose you're right," I sighed as her muzzle bobbed lightly in agreement, "and I can't just drop everything else in my life to guard the apartment until you can get home. It's just not going to work. People will start asking questions that I'll have to make up answers for."

She nodded again, her eyes dropping away to stare at the empty space beside me. "It is a difficult situation, and I do... not know if there is any good way out of it. If it's any, um, consolation," a warm little smile was directed my way, "I think that... is the right choice."

"I'd still feel better if you had a way to get in touch with me just in case. I know Craig's around, but still..." That was it. I didn't have anything other than a basic desire and couldn't think of a good way to express it. "I know we want to conserve your mag... Harmony, but do you have any spells that would let you reach me?"

Her neck curled a bit as she pulled back, her brow scrunching. "I... don't know..." I found myself watching intently as her eyes darted back and forth while she sorted through her options. "Many of the ones I know would... either be visible or audible. There are... a couple that are more discrete, and my... friends and I use them all the time, but I would have to use them on you before you..."

I'd flinched again. She'd seen it. I really didn't want her doing any kind of magic on me. 'To' me?

"It's alright, Alex... I would not want to use them on you. You're clearly uncomfortable with... the idea. Plus I would have to do one of two things: either... enchant you before you leave," she held up a hoof, so I guess I'd again let my discomfort show again, "but using a more permanent effect on something I don't understand... well enough could be dangerous, or I would need to establish a link like we did... two nights ago." She paused, and though her voice remained steady there was some faint pink around her edges. "I do not think a connection like that would... work very well. It would probably be too... time-consuming and strenuous for me to locate you without... a preexisting link, and relying on you to contact me if I need to talk to you..."

At least she finished with a droll giggle. I snorted. I wish I had that kind of foresight.

"Well, what if I give you my phone?" I held up the device in question. She started to cock her head and I realized the problem with giving it to her: if she called me then she wouldn't be able to understand a thing I said. Plus even then there was no guarantee that I would be the one at the store to answer.

"Would I be able to reach you if you did not have it?"

"Er..." I expected a sort of 'what the hell?!' expression from her, but she looked almost thoughtful. "Yeah. You could call the store I work at."

"That might work. All I would have... to do is reach you and then cast a scrying spell."

Wait. She might be on to something. But no, there was still my coworkers to deal with. I couldn't be at the phone all day just in case. Well, maybe there was a way...

"You could claim to be my roommate." She blinked adorably hard. "No really. Co-ed roommates aren't too odd. I could keep an ear out and just be available for an emergency call. It would fit right in with me taking yesterday off," oh, I was really getting in to this now, "and it should get me the phone. You wouldn't even have understand any of what they say, just be adamant that you need to speak to me. I mean, this is only in case of an emergency, right?"

"Mmmhmmm. It's just in case." Her sudden frown caused a flicker of worry in me. "But what... if someone needs to reach you? You will not have your device."

"I'm... actually not too worried about that. I don't get a whole lot of calls and the people who know me know that I'm often busy during the day and won't answer. On the off chance that someone calls it shouldn't be a problem for you to ignore it."

Etherea pursed her lips as she gave the situation another thinking-over. She slowly nodded a few times. "Well, then this just might work."

So I slipped off the couch, sat across from her - not next to! - and clicked my phone out of dormancy as I set it between her forehooves. Etherea recoiled with a gasp and I was rudely reminded of something that had slipped my thoughts. I could only stare in horror at the heavily pixelated alicorn that was slowly wandering around the background of the presented smartphone. To anyone else the sprite of Princess Celestia would be a bit odd, but for Etherea...

I mentally gulped as my eyes sought hers. She was still transfixed by the sight before her, her body looking ready to spring into violent motion at any moment.

"I can explain..." Yeah, it was the lamest, most cliché, and least-likely-to-work way to begin an explanation.

A tremor coursed across the fur of Etherea's muzzle before rippling down her neck and flanks, causing her feathers to vibrate slightly. Her eyes slowly tore themselves away from my phone as her ears went in to hiding again. "O... kay?"

That was it? She wasn't going to give me anything to work with here... It felt like I'd just taken two steps backward. "Um... she's my favorite character?"

I watched warily as one of Etherea's forehooves lifted into the air, but she only used it to cover and slowly rub the top of her muzzle. "I cannot, um, fault... your choice. Princess Celestia deserves the... respect you surely give her, but this is... just so weird!" She focused those vibrant irises over the intervening foreleg at me. "I don't know... if I will ever get over my world being... entertainment for your people."

"Well, I can change my background to something else if it helps." I offered gently, reaching for my phone.

"I..." Etherea's eyes drifted back toward my phone. "No, I... don't mind. Really. So what was it you wanted to show me?"

The forced topic switch was painfully obvious and she looked about as convinced of her own words as I was. Should I really just move on from that? I know she'd talked about being more accommodating, so I probably should, but at what point would it be appropriate to step up and ease what I could? I had no idea. My hesitation eventually netted me an annoyed grumble and another eye roll.

"Right... my phone... Well, just in case something big happens I'd like for you to be able to reach me directly." I pointed out the on/off button before my finger made quick work of showing her exactly where to go to find my work number. Her eyes locked on to my fingers as they darted around and I caught her ears slowly perking back up.

"And this device also relies... on electricity?" She asked as I reset my phone to its home screen.

"Yeah. There's a little battery in there." I flipped my phone around so that she could try it out for herself. "Give it a try. I just wanna' make sure you can get to the right screen to call if something happens."

Her ears twitched as she peered at the small object before her - like they wanted to flip backward -but her face remained cautiously curious. She glanced up at me before stretching out her neck a little to get a better view. "It is so little... And yet you manage... to recreate the effects of some advanced... illusions - 'adaptive' even, I believe they are called - sensory and... response spells, illumination, conjunctions and whatever... allows them to alter the other spells... Oh, alterations!"

She sighed lightly without taking her eyes off the display. "I'm sure there are... many others; this really is not something I'm... well-versed in. And you have managed all of that without Harmony or the crystals... to store and transmit it. What could you possible use instead...?" She rotated her hoof so that just the outside edge gently tapped the screen, but a faint frown slipped onto her muzzle as she did so. "It..." Tap. "It is not working for me."

"Huh? Oh! I think I know why." She leaned back as I reached in to touch my phone with a fingernail. Nothing happened. I then used the tip of my finger and slid the screen back and forth once. "Hooves probably won't work since it probably reacts to the electrical impulses. So it needs bare skin." Oh, a thought! "What about your stylus?"

Etherea pondered that for the briefest of moments before shaking her head. "That utilizes... some sort of Harmonic interaction between the stylus and screen. If your... phone requires electricity then my stylus... would not work."

Her head canted, exposing the curve of her neck a little more as she examined the problematic device. Personally I was dry of ideas. Everything I thought she would be willing use to manipulate my phone was covered in fur or feathers, or would just be unweildy. the thought of simply remaining out of touch left me feeling that it was better to just stay home again despite how my coworkers would react.

I was again preempted by the mare before me when her muzzle suddenly descended and she ever-so-carefully brushed the tip above one nostril against the screen. The screen shifted in response! My eyes couldn't possibly widen any further at the sight of the princess gingerly playing with the touchscreen using her nose. Judging by the rearward slant of her ears she also wasn't thrilled, and I worried that it was a very demeaning way to do things, but she was at least able to work it out.

And not using her hooves was probably safer for my phone anyways. Unless she sneezed...

I left my phone already queued to the store's number before trekking to my car, trailing palpable nervousness in my wake. Or at least that's how my brain decided to explain it. It was expressively poetic in any case.

Once I was in my car and cruising with the radio cranked up I found myself surprisingly able to put my troubles aside and just enjoy the drive. Sitting comfortably in a vehicle I loved with music that spoke to me just had a way of helping me let go. I even got to sing along with one of my favorite songs, though I can't claim to be anything noteworthy. I'd always liked to think I could passably karaoke one or two of Shinedown's songs.

I'd never actually do that - getting up in front of a crowd would be a fast track to a nervous breakdown.

There were still far more vehicles abandoned by the wayside than normal - a half dozen or so - but at least I didn't have to worry about a solar hiccup turning the drive in to a crap shoot. My car did have some electronics so it was nice not having to worry whether my own vehicle would be the next victim. Despite being Friday in a state that had some beaches, the traffic actually wasn't that bad and I made good time.

The best part was that there was an Equestrian pony at home, and she and I were starting to get along. It must have been the combination of driving and music, but the problems we'd had didn't seem so important. The facts that nobody had attacked anyone else, we'd amicably interacted, and today might see us well on the way to resolving this entire fiasco were reassuring. I was poised to come out of this in one piece, potentially with a new pony friend, and so I can honestly say I was enjoying myself.

Naturally the universe couldn't let that little problem go unanswered.

I was rudely reminded that on the way to work there was a stable with a small cart track. Two horses were in one of the paddocks and were wandering along the near side. It took less than a second for my brain to identify the timing of their hoofsteps, the steady motion of their shoulders, the slight rolling of their hips, and the swishing of their tails. And then to remind me that Etherea walked exactly the same way.

As I was reeling from that thought my mind went a step further and juxtaposed my memories of Etherea with the horses I was observing now. Her proportions were a bit different, and she was slimmer by a good margin, but the rest of her was a near perfect match. That she also held herself a bit more upright was immaterial. I was looking at these horses and realizing that, comparatively, Etherea was one.

Many of the features that I found attractive in Etherea were exactly the same in those two horses.

My stomach clenched into a knot as my breath hitched. I tried desperately to clear my head of the sudden turbulence that threatened to bury me. I truly was sick and had not one fucking clue what to do about it. This wasn't the kind of thing that I could just turn on and off with a whim. As I'd realized yesterday - that I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from thinking about her - I knew I couldn't really stop myself from pining after a horse!

Shunting away such thoughts did little good as they simply circled back around to strike from another angle. I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried. This wasn't right. I wasn't right. But at least I knew there was a problem, right? I could do something about it then. I couldn't actually do anything about the way I felt, but I could control how I acted. Sickos were only people who gave in to their impulses, but I had self-control in spades. All I needed to do was not fuck Etherea. Easy-peasy! This wasn't willful ignorance; this was tactical suppression.

And that was a car zooming by backwards really fast!

A whole new fear took immediate precedence as I realized I was edging toward NINETY miles per hour. I went cold right to my bones before letting completely off the gas. If a cop had seen me freaking out...

Even in the absence of any obvious danger I still thoroughly checked every mirror for any hint of a dreadfully familiar silhouette. Thank God (Buddha? Gandalf? Celestia...?) there was nothing but a handful of random cars and trucks. They probably thought I was crazy. Hell, I'd have agreed with them.

I took it slow after that point, intent on getting to work in one piece. It surprised nobody that I was several minutes late again. Not that I didn't hear about it...

"About fucking time you showed up." Sure enough Dave was the first to notice as I came in the back door. He was waddling around in a hurry on some errand. "Right on time too. I should probably just schedule you ten minutes late every day."

Same old 'how do you do?' too, so at least things around here were normal. I grunted a noncommittal response as I headed to the office to clock in and at least appear prepared for the day. When I turned to head out to the front I could see a handful of customers - two apparently in line - Carl's tall self hunched over a counter as he made something, Reggie - a short, balding, but very pleasant part-timer - trying to come up with an answer for a customer, and Dave blocking the doorway. I drew up short as our eyes met.

I know you're stressed, but keep it civil Alex. "Hmmmm?"

"So what happened yesterday that was so important you had to leave Carl to close? You know he bitched at me all day?"

What he was asking wasn't nearly as harsh as the way it came across. Fortunately I had prepared earlier just for this. "Let's just call it a family emergency. That's about as much as I wanna' say about it, okay?"

"Hey." He brought up his hands and spread his fingers. "Don't be yelling at me, you're the one who called out. Probably stayed up too late playing video games and slept in," he glanced over his shoulder before leaning in and dropping to a whisper, "you lazy motherfucker."

"But I get it, shit," another whispered word, "happens. You had things that you needed to do. You know I go through that all the time with my wife. If you need some time to deal with it, just say so." See? He wasn't all bad. "But I need you to tell me; is it a problem?"

I drew in a breath as images of Etherea's arrival, yesterday's ups and downs, and my fears over the possible outcomes of all this flashed across the back of my thoughts. And now that I was standing in the store I worked at, looking at my coworker, and with customers nearby I felt another wash of cold fear. Etherea might not be very worried about transmittable diseases, but that didn't make them an impossibility. The safe outcome of my little excursion yesterday might support Etherea's view, but I was hardly reassured by a single example.

But there was nothing I could do now. I playing incognito and leaving now would be suspicious - I had a reputation for being a little late, but I also never failed to be at work. Fuck. I grasped the frail thread that was my faith in Etherea's reasoning and held on for dear life. It was the only thing that would let me function.

"I don't think so, but you'll be the first to know. Things have been much better today!" It was actually the truth - sort of - but I prayed I appeared more sincere than I felt.

Dave eyed me for a moment before nodding. Then he furiously waved a paper in my direction before trying to push past me into the office. "Good. Now get out there so I can fix this order that Carl fucked up. I need you to see what Reg needs help with before he makes Carl look like a genius."

Glad to be of help, Dave. Actually, I was just glad to be out and about since random customers should be less likely to notice anything amiss. Maybe I could even distract myself with their problems.

At least the day wasn't nearly as bad as it had been on Wednesday. Naturally it was worse. I was the first person to make contact with alien life, which might have been orgasmic for some people, but I was horrified by the amount of fame/infamy I would probably attract. The alien was a horse to boot, one I was attracted to and also royalty. That was a sickening double-whammy of 'shouldn't want' and 'can't have.' And I had definitely made the wrong decision to go back to work so soon, especially since I couldn't be much help if shit went down at home. Constantly anticipating a phone call I didn't want to receive made every ring of the phone strum my nerves discordantly.

And I had absolutely no idea what to do about any of those things. It was terrifying to be so lost and helpless. To have all that eating at you and needing to put on a happy face for everyone around you? My bottled frustrations quickly percolated in to actual anger. I don't know why I thought it would go any other way. I didn't care I was working myself in to a frenzy, and in the short spaces between customers the poor boxes of innocent paint cans suffered the brunt of my emotions.

The customers were also just as bad as before! The masochistic part of me pointed out that probably had more to do with my current state than anything the customers were actually doing. But the lady who spent over an hour agonizing over two nearly identical colors, and steadfastedly ignoring my opinions after asking for them? She certainly was, no question about it.

It got to the point where I almost wished my coworkers would notice something and my boss would send me home. But they never did. Or at least they never said anything. I couldn't let myself blow up in front of the customers, which meant that I was still too much in control. So I just simmered, waiting for someone to come along and push me the wrong way.

My eventual lunch break was a welcome respite, minimal as it was. For fifteen whole minutes I refused to come out of the office, listening to the radio in lieu of browsing the internet on my phone. The solar flares were still big news, and apparently I wasn't the only one to receive some strange messages. Most sounded like mundane mix-ups but there was a story about four random people who apparently received the same mistake message from some political figure telling them just where they could shove their revisions to his latest policy. Apparently stranger things also happened electronics-wise, but lacking any details I couldn't tell whether my experience with Equestria was unique.

And fifteen minutes was all I got, which wasn't unusual. Being near the beaches meant the store was always busy and Dave waddled by and called my attention to another influx of customers. I was off again, one part of me eagerly awaiting whoever would push me over the line first, the other hoping I would never test my self control like that. All of me was wondering how things were at home and whether Craig had avoided repeating my mistakes with Etherea. That wasn't very reassuring...

"Hey Alex," It was Reggie with a small, black store phone clutched loosely before him. My heart skipped three or four beats. The short, elderly man's blue-gray eyes hinted at a question as he held up the device. "there's a phone call for you. It's, um... your roommate?"

Author's Notes:

Bwah!

There's something about the end of this chapter that just feels off to me. I can't decide if it's the actual writing or if I'm just uncomfortable with what's going on.

And I'm sorry. There was a whole section of plot progression after this point that I wanted to include in this chapter, but as per normal, there was just so much stuff to put in this one. I promise (Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!) there will be less headcanon and more glorious plot... er, substance in the next chapter!

Next time on the Alex and Etherea Adventure Hour: will our hero fall prey to the dastardly paint banditos, or will he find a way to reach home and save the day?