“Good to hear we are all on board friends. We have some fucked up ideas alright, 3rd world governments would die for our plans…”

“Okay Dan here put this on” Mike said, somehow Boris threw Mike a bone and got us all these 2 way head phones.

“Why do I need this thing again?” Dan asked

“So if you need help or need to call in a code we are here” Mike said “You remember the codes right?”

“No…” Dan said

“Red-Period, Black-Lesbian, Blue-Friend zone, Green-Cock blocked, yellow-abstinent” Mike said

“Okay… “Dan said “Do we really need all of these codes?”

“It is better to have them and not need them then to need them and not have them” I said “Nico do I have guard duty tonight?”

Nico looked up from putting on his chest plate “Nope”

“Thanks man” I said

“I got to get going, you guys should too, and Celestia is going to give her opening speech.” Nico said

“Also hang on guys!” I said “I need one last thing from every pony. I need you to help me to convince Silver Shield to get molested”

Everyone looked at me like I was insane

“Why?” Mike said

“Just do it please?” I pleaded; Mike looked like he was going to protest again but just continued to head to the door.

We could hear the music already from below; we headed down the grand stairs. It didn’t take long for us to get split up.

“There she is!” Dan said excitedly, there Fleur De Lis was, giving us a little wave from the doorway. Dan gave us a

quick glance before heading to Fleur De Lis .

“So what do we want to do?” I asked

“I don’t know, I guess we got to go hunt down Silver Shield?” Tyler asked

“Yea might as well go with you on this one” Mike said

“Okay, I am going to get my gerbil racing going” Ayan said

“Can I help you out?” Conor asked, Ayan gave him a quick nod and the 2 chose to set up shop right there.

“Alright let’s find Silver Shield” I said, before Mike could respond I saw his jaw drop. I turned around to see some pony standing behind me, a shorter orange Earth pony.

“Sup VESPIE!” He said, giving me a bro hug

“O my god…” I said, it was our old friend Nick. Nick was the most annoying, bull shitting; try hard retard you could find. He lies so much and starts so much crap he makes the situation look like Mike, and Mike like Jesus.

“What you bros doing” He asked

“Nothing, why don’t you go play in traffic” Mike said, nudging him towards the door.

“Nah” Nick said, he then gave a devious smile “WHAT IS THAT MIKE? YOU LIKE BON-BON?” A tan mare with a blue mane looked over to us.

“Sorry about that, he is retarded” Mike said

“Whatevs” Nick said “I’m going to chillax a little bit, see you guys later”

“Hopefully not” I said “Let’s go guys” I motioned to the door.

Thanks to being friends with Nico I was able to convince him to put Silver Shield on 9 o’clock guard duty. That is why I wasn’t surprised to see him getting dressed for guard duty when I entered his room.

“Hey Silver Shield, how is it going?” I asked casually

“Good, what are you doing?” Silver Shield asked

“Just wanted to say Nico pulled you back an hour, you are going on duty at 10” I said, Silver Shield gave me a nod before taking off his helmet “Come down with us and have a drink will ya?”

“Fine” Silver Shield said

I had precise instructions on how to get Silver Shield into Princess Celestia’s arms. We took an indirect route down to the main party room, trying our best not to arouse the suspicions of Silver Shield.

“But the party room is this way” Silver Shield said motioning to the correct route to the party.

On cue Princess Celestia trotted by and on my cue I pushed Silver Shield right into Princess Celestia. With a quick and unexpected nudge he trampled right into the princess, causing her to over realistically fall over.

“Silver Shield” She said with a aggravated tone

“Sorry mam!” Silver Shield squealed, slowly shrinking

“I think you and me need to have a talk” Princess Celestia said “Walk with me”

Silver Shield took a long gulp and followed the princess

“Wait so why’d we do that?” Mike asked

“Because someone had to” I said “That colt needs to get laid soon anyways”

“God speed” Mike said

The party seemed pretty bland for once, it seemed just like the last two, just everyone was 1 year older. Nico was on guard duty and everyone separated from me again, but sadly they also dropped Nick with me.

“Come on man!” Nick would always beg

“No bro go find some pony yourself!” I always returned

“But I need your help!”

“BUT I’M MARRIED!”

“So?”

I finally gave Nick a water bottle with a nickel in it, that managed to calm him down and distract him for a while. Just in time to see Nico running inside the room.

“Vespi I need your help!” He said in a hushed tone

“What?” I asked

“Remember all those factions we pissed off?” He asked

“Yuhuh”

“There attacking us, like right now” Nico said

“…Really?” I asked

“Yup” Nico said “Come help me out alright!?”

I didn’t need to hear any more information I ran towards the door. I continued to run straight through the courtyard to the main gate, or what used to be the main gate. The entire plce turned into a warzone, from the Castle walls were the Royal guard, hailing gun fire from above on the walls to the attackers below.

“What are they doing?” One aloof guard asked

“THEY ARE GOING TO BRAVEHURT THE DOOR!” I screamed

The guard turned around “What?”

“They found a big tree and are going to smash the gate open!” I said

“O SHEET!” I heard from a 2nd guard on the wall a explosion shook the wall, sending ponies flying in every direction.

“What was that!?” I asked, holding onto my helmet for cover

“O yea forgot to tell you Ayan joined the Red Hooves and invented siege artillery” Nico said quickly, that would have been nice to know beforehand.

“What do we do?” Nico asked

“You’re in charge, I’m going to bed!” I said using my old alibi to my advantage. Without a response I ran back inside, leaving the forlorn defenders to their fate.

This is one of those “Okay we are under attack randomly by terrorists during a big ass party, I’m going to go have sex with my wife” moments.

Because that always seems to work out for me...

***

Meanwhile at the gate

“Vespi said he was coming back right?” One of the guards asked

“Sure” Nico said with a pat on the back “Now go run in front of me and get shot will ya?”

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