I was kind of relieved to be in the company of my friends. We were all kind of on an edge (Especially Silver Shield) after what happened today; so Princess Celestia said any pony was welcome to spend the night in the castle. I wasn’t about to pass over sleeping happily in a bed with my wife then in a cold hard bunk in the castle’s sprawling barracks. To remedy this situation I invited Rarity over; everything seemed okay.

“Feel free to anything in the wine cellar” Princess Celestia said with a giggle; apparently after all of the ceremonial guards and regal titles she was just like any other mare. Besides the immortality part

Before long we found a nice room and had ourselves a private party, thanks to my wife. Before long Rarity invited her friend Roseluck, who in turn invited her friends Lyra and Bon-Bon, who in turn invited their friends, Flying V, Soarin, and… well you now know how it went; before midnight there had to be 50 guests in the castle; all through a kind of tree process like that.

I had to admit private parties like these were nice, compared to the massive adventures of the Grand Galloping Gala. In the Grand Galloping Gala you didn’t know what the hell was going on; all you knew was “Time to solve everyone else’s problems”.

“So what do you guys want to do now?” Dan asked Tyler

“I don’t know man; I think I see a good mare or two in this crowd” Tyler joked back

Silver Shield asked nervously “So you guys just talk to mares that easily?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that; we were grown up, it isn’t the middle school bull crap anymore.

“Of course, don’t you?” Tyler said with a joke

“Not really…” Silver Shield said with a shy smile

“Okay cool” Dan said “See some nice mares Tyler?”

Tyler took a sip of his beer “Not anything excellent, B+ at best” We all shared a nice laugh, except Silver Shield

“What’s the matter Silver Shield? You look nervous” I asked; frankly this colt aggravated me. He was nice and all but he was damn too shy, it was the opposite of me and my friends.

“O, o nothing” He murmured

“Yea you’re sweating like shit” Dan said with a chuckle “I’m going to go find a mare, Silver Shield do you want to come?”” I could tell it was more of a joke to make Silver Shield uncomfortable then an actual invite.

“No, you can go on without me” Silver Shield said

“Come on why not?” Dan pursued; perhaps it was an actual invite

“I’m just…um” He said, managing a fake cough to cut himself off

“Wait what?” Tyler asked

“I’m just you know” He said

“I don’t know what you are talking about bro” I said

“Well aren’t you guys too?” He asked; I didn’t have any clue what he was talking about.

“Aren’t what?” Dan asked

“You know… going to stay abstinent or something?” He asked; I literally dropped my beer. Tyler and Dan had the same reactions, all 3 of us just bursted out laughing.

“Are you serious kid?” Dan asked

“Well um yea” Silver Shield said, obviously embarrassed “Aren’t you guys you know that too?”

This didn’t help at all; I was practically crying this shit was so funny

“Of course not” Dan said “Virgin and Wonderbolt are opposites”

Silver Shield turned to me “Aren’t you?”

“I’m married and even before that no” I said, it took me some time but I finally stopped crying, and eventually laughing.

“I guess you’re not either then” Silver Shield said, addressing the comment towards Tyler

“No” Tyler said bluntly “Please tell me this is some kind of joke”

“Sorry” Silver Shield said “I’m, I’m, I’m just not good with mares okay?”

I laughed again “I can tell”

Silver Shield just slumped into his seat, humiliated and embarrassed

“Relax kid” I said “We’ll help you”

He gave me a nervous smile “Thanks I guess”

“Is there some mare you like?” Tyler asked

“Well there is this one mare I kind of like.” Silver Shield confessed “She is nice, and funny, and likes books like me, and-“

“Twilight?” We all asked in unison. He gave a slight nod

“Then just talk to her” Tyler said “This isn’t rocket science”

“Alright” Silver Shield said, trying his best to hide his anxiety “I think she is in the library”

“Lead the way then” I said

***

We headed to the library immediately; the entire time the 3 of us told Silver Shield everything we knew.

“Always act nice, and don’t be a slob”

“Be a gentlecolt”

“Learn how to use your tongue”

“Wait, what?” Silver Shield would constantly ask. Time after time we would have to tell him the entire story and why it was important. I never knew walking to a library would take so long, but after 20 minutes or so we could hear Twilight and Rainbow Dash talking in the library.

“Thanks for helping me with all of these books Dashie” Twilight said; we began to approach the doorway into the vast library.

“So what do I say again?” Silver Shields said again; he was now sweating like a pig

“Just act natural” I said, he gave me a terse nod

Although the hallway felt like walking on a never ending walk way we finally came to the door to the massive 3 story library. I gave a quick peak inside; I saw Twilight on a ladder picking through row after row of hefty books.

“Go get them tiger” I said

“What, what do I do?” He squeaked

“Jesus Christ! Just offer your help and carry her books, go from there” Tyler said, we almost had to push Silver Shield into the library; thank God Rainbow Dash was shifting through her own wall of books.

Silver Shield slowly and cautiously walked up behind Twilight.

“Um hey Twilight” He said; Twilight turned around

“O um hey….” Twilight said

“O um it is Silver Shield” he said

Behind the cover of the wall Tyler whispered “She doesn’t know his name, he is screwed”

“Give him a chance; if it gets really bad then you go in and bail him out, alright?” I whispered back; Tyler nodded and we returned to watching Silver Shield.

“Getting some nice books?” He asked

“Actually yes” Twilight Sparkle said “Do you like books?

“Um yea actually” Silver Shield said “Mind if I join you?”

Twilight turned around “Okay, but I’m just picking out books to read them in my room” She said

“O okay then” Silver Shield said

“Well this went to shit fast” Dan whispered “Get in there Tyler”

“No” Tyler said, I was busy listening to the conversation in front of me to notice the game my friends were playing. I turned around to see they both had their hooves on their noses.

“Come on guys I’m married” I protested; they didn’t change their response

“Fine”

I walked in as naturally as possible; not really focusing on the 3 other ponies in the room but rather just admiring the architecture, yes the architecture.

“There you are Silver Shield” I said “Celestia wants you on guard duty”

“Hey but wait!” He protested, before he could unravel things anymore I pushed him out of the room.

“O hey Vespi!” Twilight said with a smile “How is it going?”

“Good thanks” I said “What are you mares reading?”

“O nothing really, care to stay for a little bit?” Twilight asked

“No sorry I got to hurry to get on guard duty” I said; trotting towards the door “See you though”

Twilight looked like she was going to say something else but I disappeared behind the opaque wall before she could spit it out.

“Why would you do that!?” Silver Shield asked in his customary shaky voice

“You fucked up man” Tyler said “Better luck next time”

Silver Shield let out a sigh and began to head towards the barracks.

“That must suck” Dan said quietly, we all nodded

“Better luck next time” Tyler said

I chuckled “Better luck next time”

We all began to head back to the original room; on the way I felt a hoof tap me on the back. I turned around to see Princess Celestia behind us;

“O, hello princess” I said

“I saw what happened behind there” She said, I had to admit 50% of me was awe struck and the other 50% scared to death. Princess Celestia seemed like the type of mare that was inspirational; living for 1000 years regulating life in Equestria. That other 50% was scared because she could banish me to the moon. You saw what happened on Apollo 18! Like hell I’m getting space herpes!

“Vespi I need to have a talk with you” Princess Celestia said; I began to get nervous. Was I in serious trouble now?

“Um okay” Tyler said “See you Vespi”

They began to walk the other way; Princess Celestia began walking the other way, I followed. We headed into a nearby room, apparently the princess’s secondary chamber (Of like 12 personal chambers). The second the door closed I was literally stunned when the regal Princess Celestia just practically jumped me; before I could even protest she just kissed me (Her weight nearly knocked me over) and groped me.  I jumped back; for a split second falling down on 1 knee before scrambling up and making quick distance from the princess.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” I asked gasping

The princess just gave a little giggle “O Vespi you know so little…” She began to walk towards me a few paces, I stumbled back.

“I’m married!” I said, trying to form a coherent defense

“And I’m the princess” She said “You know so little that I know”

“I’m married!” I repeated she took several more paces towards me; for a quick second I almost stepped forward (I have no clue). I instantly turned back and ran for the door.

Just as I opened the door she closed it and locked it with her magic

“I know about Boris, Michael” She said; I turned around horrified. My darkest secret was in the hand of my enemy

“But…how!?” I asked

“I can read minds” She said “Maybe a little bird will tell Rarity about this if that little bird doesn’t get what she wants” I stumbled up against the door. She walked right up to me, her face maybe 3 or 4 feet away from me now.

“But…but…BUT!” I said, I could barely think anymore

“Relax” She said “it will hurt me more then it hurts you, seriously” she gave out a kinky giggle

I literally (Seriously) shat a brick.

Fortunately I had a guardian angel; from outside the door I heard a rapping

“Princess are you in there? We need you out in ball room 4” He called; thank god another guard!

“Just a minute” The princess cooed she then gave me a harsh whisper “I’ll be back; do not tell anyone what just happened, or so god help me I will eat your VAS DEFERENS!”

She gave me a quick kiss and said

        “Love you”

I stepped out of the way and the princess trotted out. I didn’t leave for a good 10 minutes I wanted the guard to be far away by the time I left, the last thing I wanted was to be spotted.

I quickly ran through the hall ways to the ball room.

“Dan you will not believe WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!”

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