“Princess Celestia?” She heard a voice near her door, a mare from what she sounded like. A few knocks rang out- “I’m coming in, if that’s alright?” She sighed deeply, rolling over and flinging the covers over her head. “I’m coming in now.”

Creeeeeeeak!

“Ahh…” Celestia whined, holding the sides of her head.

“I’m gonna set the lights to dim to let your eyes adjust.” Under her blanket shield, the dim bedroom light couldn’t penetrate. She was safe here. “Could you please come out? I want to check your vitals.”

A groan from the bed's occupant told the mare that this wouldn’t be an easy task.

“Please? It’s just a precaution to make sure you’re alright-”

“Uuuugh!” Celestia vented her frustration by throwing her blanket off, sitting up and crossing her hooves with a huff. Her telekinesis flung the curtains open, natural sunlight filling the room; and oddly enough, the Doctor didn’t even flinch at this sudden outburst.

“It’s alright, you’re safe here.” She said, slowly cantering her way to the bedside and holding her hoof. “I’m Dr. Daydream- And I can’t begin to express how happy I am to finally meet you!” She was a unicorn mare, and Celestia saw that from the odd curvature of her barrel, she must have had scoliosis or some other deformity. She wore a white lab coat over her bright yellow fur; her dark brown mane and tail matched the freckles dotting her face.

“Yes, I know- I look like a banana in a bath towel. You wouldn’t be the first!” The Dr. Daydream giggled mirthfully- and Celestia couldn’t help but smirk at the similarities.

“My… my sister likes bananas…” Celestia mused, somewhat feeling out of it. “But she’s… weird. She’d eat the peel, and let me have the fruit.” Daydream giggled politely, heading towards the door- and from behind, the curvature was much more noticeable, especially with the uneven gait she walked. Her telekinesis pulled a medical cart out of the hallway and shut the door behind it.

“If you want, you can call me Day, Doc, or even Ann.” She said, the faint tear of a Velcro blood-pressure cuff. “Ponies called me Banana Ann in school- it kinda stuck!... Arm, please!” Celestia nodded as the doctor did her work- but she was wondering where the nurse was. “Your blood pressure is goo-!”

“Ann?” Celestia interrupted, and she hummed. “Where’s your staff?” Ann just looked up with a wide grin.

“You’re looking at them!” She spread her arms with a wide grin, gesturing to her horn- “This is my head nurse!” To each hoof, “These two are my part-time staff!” then gesturing to her hind hooves, “These two? Kinda dumb and useless, but if things go sideways, I’ll put ‘em to work!”

Overall, Ann’s cheery mood and disposition made Celestia unable to wipe the soft, almost weary smile off her face, draped in strands of dirty, greasy pink mane… but something was wrong.

“Where’s my sister?” Anxiety spiked in her chest as she sat straighter, and Ann immediately set the clipboard she was scribbling on down; grabbing Celestia’s hoof, her gentle grasp and soft gaze calmed her down, allowing her to lean back in her bed.

“She’s alright- just relax.” she said, “She’s dealing with stuff while you take some time to yourself- and more importantly, recover.” Despite the calmness around her, Celestia’s heartbeat spiked. “It’ll just be a couple days where you can focus on you.”

“No, no, the-the, what about the Shoes and the-” A hoof to her chest gently guided her back down. “What… what kind of doctor are you?” She was wary now.

With a kind smile, she replied- “I’m an addiction recovery and dream therapy specialist.” Then with a sly grin, she continued- “And… I’m a recovering prescription medication addict.”

Celestia’s head shot back in surprise; Ann just gave her a kind grin.

“I don’t look like a junkie, right?” She giggled, “I’ve been clean about… seven years? Eh, give or take! But that’s the insidious part of addiction, I think.” With a somber expression, she leaned close to the bed, and pointed out their reflections where they stood side-by-side in the nearby mirror.

“Seven years ago, I was lying in a hospital bed in a state much like you were in.” She mused. “I’d just lost my meager apartment, a few months after my special somepony left me because of my Disease. My last few bits were gone, spent on some sketchy street junk which I sincerely hoped would be my last high.”

Then she turned back, locking eyes with that soft gaze once again. “Then while my unconscious body was getting loaded onto a wagon, Princess Luna came to me in a dream!” Her look of genuine admiration felt touching, tears welling in the corner of both their eyes. “She helped me take the time to self reflect, realize how much of a problem my addiction was not just to me, but everypony around me.”

“I can hardly see how my own medicine affects others around me.” she said with a scoff, crossing her hooves.

Ever patient, Ann replied- “What about when Princess Luna was woken up by you screaming for help?” She grabbed the clipboard, flipping to the front. “Patient was found in a state of heavy delirium after the intentional or unintentional overdose of Ketamine. Her sister believes this to be an ongoing problem, but it is the opinion of Dr. Horse that her medication should not be discontinued, as the risk of dangerous withdrawals… eh, yadda yadda and other quackery.”

“See! Even my other doctor agreed that there’s nothing wrong with me!” Ann just looked up at Celestia, and deadpanned-

“Your old doctor had his license revoked after Luna found out he was getting paid off by the pharmaceutical company behind Ketelar. He had a personal monetary incentive to keep you supplied with their narcotics.” Celestia looked down at her blankly, slowly flopping back into her bed. With a heavy sigh, she spoke-

“Six years or so ago, I broke my hindleg while jogging in the woods. The pain lasted for a long while, and when I brought it up to the doctor, Ketalor was his first suggestion.” From personal experience, she was certain her sister revoked more than just his medical license. “I have… much to think about.”

Ann just nodded, an understanding smile on her face.

“Think positive, Princess!” She said, putting her stuff back onto her medical cart. “This is a great time to think and self-reflect; How did I get here? Where am I going? Where would I have gone?” Her tone was professional and sympathetic- “And most importantly- you and I are victims of a disease called Addiction. It’ll take you places you never wanted to go and do things you never wanted to do.”

“Then you can cure me?” Celestia asked naively, but the caring smile of her new doctor never left. “Treat me, whatever- I’m fine with medication, really!”

“It gets better with time, but it doesn’t go away. I’m not ashamed to admit I still have cravings, despite all I went through; but I know how to deal with them, these days.” She moved the cart into one of the cleaner corners of the room, since she figured she’d need it later anyway. “There’s something I said to your sister during that original encounter, and it stuck with me ever since; ‘I know how to get drunk. I know how to get high.’ I looked up at her, tears pouring down my face as I asked, ‘Please, I need somepony to teach me how to recover!’”

Celestia looked at her in amazement, almost struggling to picture how this once-broken mare must have looked, groveling before her sister. Begging her for help, even.

“I’m honored to help in any way I can. I’ll be living in the next room over- yell or pound on the wall if you need… anything!” She knocked on the wall twice, “If you want food, new bedsheets, somepony to talk to- anything!”

“Could you perhaps… clean my room?” The Princess asked… and the mare shook her head.

“That, I cannot do. Personal responsibility is an important aspect of recovery; one of the most basic tenets of that is cleaning your own messes. It’s how you make amends, after all- admitting that you made a mistake and trying to make up for it!... You want these curtains shut?” She asked, and the Princess shook her head slowly, grumbling with her arms crossed.

“It only gets easier from here- think! You’re a little over 24 hours clean, now!” That made Celestia pause briefly. Has it really been a day since she’d last had her medicine?

‘I… I am, aren’t I?’ Celestia thought to herself. ‘And… I guess I don’t feel as awful as I normally do…’

The bedroom door shut slowly behind her new doctor.

“Ann?” She turned, seeing Celestia greeting her with a warm smile. “Just call me Celestia. Please.”

“Thank you, Celestia. You’re doing wonderful so far, I hope you realize!” she clacked her hooves together in excitement before turning and heading out the d-

“One more thing?” She asked. Grinning sheepishly and looking off to the side, she requested- “Can… Can I get something to eat? Something light, I’m… I’m a little nauseous, is all.”

---

“Mamma!” Was the first thing I heard this-morning, sounding faintly like Anastasia.

“Fuuuck…” I muttered to myself, wondering how early it was. “Shitty fackin’ bed…” I muttered, wondering what fucking hovel we were quartered in.

“I missed you!” She tackled me in a hug, and I felt something hard jab my back, causing me to grunt in pain.

“Mis’ya too…” I muttered, feeling grains of dirt between my fingers. “Ahhh… fuck.”

Apparently, I’d fallen asleep in my clothes. Outside. With my back leaning against the door of our car. A blowtorch was tossed off to the side, and a bottle of rye had rolled off somewhere.

“Leona? Where did the ravioli go?” I heard Sinan ask, and I blinked in confusion. “The canned ravioli we brought for the trip. Where is it?”

“Ahh, f… I don’ know.” I was still a little fucked up, to be honest.

“I found them!” My daughter vigilantly noticed the empty cans of ravioli around the place.

“Hold on, what happened?” Emmie butted in as I worked on sitting up properly.

“Five, six, seven, eight… Nine cans!” My daughter proudly announced to God and everyone around. “Nine cans of ravioli!”

I felt ashamed, to be honest. Who the fuck wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli in a sitting?

It was early too- the sun had barely risen.

“Look, I’m shorry.” I slurred as I tried to stand up. I grabbed hold of the fender, only for it to bend and knock me on my back. I could only look straight up as my friends and daughter stood around me, looking down in disappointment.

“Nine cans. Nine!” Sinan yelled, and… it hurt, to be frank; I was in a bad state and feeling so fucking vulnerable. Whilst Emmie and my daughter looked more concerned… Sinan was covering a smirk. To get up, I had to roll onto my side; and I couldn’t stand how it took more effort now than it did just a few years ago. But when I got there, it was a simple matter of standing up-

“I’m just saying, it might be a good thing if you started to seriously consider salads.” Sinan said as I was half way up- but hearing that, I fell to my haunches. Anastasia was immediately at my side, as if she was able to sense that something was wrong.

“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” I shouted, causing them to jump back. Anastasia hugged my side, and I wrapped her in my arms for comfort.

Sinan had an apologetic look on his face- “Woah woah, I’m sorry! I-I didn’t try to strike a nerve, friend!” I huffed as he and Emmie each sat next to me, one on each side.

I kept my mouth shut- I really didn’t want to cry now. I just tried to keep my breathing steady while enjoying the warmth and comfort of my family; I don’t think I’ve ever shut down this bad before, and I think the shame and guilt I felt was a major part of it.

“We’re not angry- we do care about you, believe it or not.” Emmie said, and I nodded.

“I really am sorry for what I said- and for what it’s worth, you’re really not that heavy.” Sinan offered up… and I couldn’t help but huff in the place of a chuckle.

“Yeah, Mamma! You’re big and strong!” She squeezed my barrel, and I chuckled for real this time. “I bet you’d beat anyone in a fight!”

“You know what?” Emmie spoke up, “Maybe it’d be best for the two of you to go home?” I shook my head immediately at the suggestion.

“Fuck that, we still got stuff to do!” I said. Plain as that.

“But I wanna go home, too!” Anastasia said, and I was taken aback!

“Wha’tha, Anastasia!?” I outraged, and she took a step back to look me in the eyes. “You were talking about this trip for a month straight for how excited you were!” But she just shrugged.

“Eh, it’s neat and all… but I’ve seen plenty of pictures in books!” She said excitedly, ranting on- “There’s no radio and I can’t read their books! I don’t even know what anyone’s saying! And the kids in this village have never seen a yo-yo, while I don’t understand any of the rules to their games!”

“Wait… those kids were playing Nock’Lack…” Sinan mused, cocking an eyebrow. “All you have to do is throw a rock into the opponents basket, while making sure to defend your own.” Anastasia just scoffed.

“Well, why didn’t anyone tell me!?” She threw her arms out in outrage, before crossing them in a huff. “I wanna go home!”

After a few moments, I conceded with a sigh.

“What’s the plan?” I asked, standing up and signaling for the others to get up. Emmie spoke up-

“I can send a carrier pigeon back to the main capital to let them know you’d be on your way. They’ll get the ship ready, and I’ll make up something, like… you got sick or something.” I nodded, figuring that’d be good enough. “In the meantime, there’s a stone creek with a decent waterfall you can get cleaned up at.”

I nodded, muttering thanks under my breath.

“I want to see you get better, Leona. I really do.” He said before heading towards the village's carrier pigeon sanctuary; it was essentially a place where various pigeon cages were labeled with their places of origin, and was actually quite the robust messaging system despite the primitive nature of it.

I rolled my eyes, mentally preparing myself to run back home with my tail between my legs.

Fucks sake.

Through the bushline was indeed a creek. I’d left my dirty clothes in the car for now, grabbing a fresh set and a towel along with some bar soap; It was actually a really beautiful place to bathe, as the clear water trickled gently off a rocky outcrop some ten feet above into a gentle creek, its white granite riverbed sparkling in the sunlight. Surrounding me was a glade where during certain times of the day, locals would visit to enjoy a nice bath, cold mountain water carrying the sweat and grime downstream to be someone else's problem.

In fact, they actually collected their water further upstream, so the locals drank from the trickling waterfall like a fountain sometimes. Their village was downstream, but no-one drank the water there anyway… anyone who did rarely made the same mistake twice, according to Sinan.

But this early in the morning? Not a soul besides me. I was about shoulder-deep at the lowest point; I rested my barrel on a rocky underwater ledge facing the waterfall, the eastern sun warming my upper back and neck and drew in a deep sigh. I glanced off to my left, then off to my right; I finally felt content, able to let go of this nagging weight on my back.

“MAKE ROOM!” I heard Emmie, and I stood unable to move.

“WAIT NO!” I yelled, but I was too late.

Splishhhhhhhh!

He didn’t jump, just sort of ran in and splashing water all over the place… and me.

“The water’s warm this morning!” He exclaimed, and I had to think fast.

“It’s gotta be that sun!” I said, barely able to look east without being blinded. Thankfully, looking away helped to hide the intense blush on my face at the situation. “Could you imagine living next to this?”

He chuckled as I turned around- I could tell he wasn’t wearing a shirt or his eyepatch; but the sun behind him practically obscured his features.

“I’m gonna cut the bullshit here. We need to talk.” He said, and I mentally braced myself to get bitched at. “Don’t give me that look.”

I just shrugged. “The fuck’s your problem?” He huffed in annoyance.

“My problem, is that my baby’s on the way and you’re turning into a selfish fucking drunk!” He poked me on the chest and I rolled my eyes.

“Your baby? I do-” He got close, very close.

“On the trip home, I want you to self reflect. You’ve been practically ignoring Anastasia for half this trip!” He ranted in a hushed tone. “Do you have any idea how worried sick she was this morning? All of us?” I grit my beak, not being in any sort of mood for this shit.

“Everything turned out okay because it always fucking does anyway!” I defended, glancing off to the side. “Besides, do you know what she said? My wife goes behind my back, telling everyone how fat I am!” I huffed, tears welling in my eyes.

“No the fuck she doesn’t.” Was his only response, looking me dead in the eyes.

“Yeah! She goes around saying I’d look better if I quit drinking, like that has anything to do with it!” I crossed my arms, fuming internally.

“So you drink because you… don’t want to look better?” He said like a fucking smartass, and I groaned in annoyance.

“No, you stupid fuck! I know I’m fat, I know I need to exercise more; but I can hardly see how quitting booze will magically fix that!” He growled, scowling as he stomped my way, putting his hooves to my shoulders. A cloud moved to cover the sun, and the shade presented his face in full detail. It felt like all three pupils glared directly at me; not my eyes, but my very soul.

“Leona- I’m gonna give you a pass for that insult because your wife bears my child. Your kid- but my genes. My blood.” If I didn’t feel oddly terrified, I’d ask if he claimed the spunk cup too. “But if you know what’s good for you, you’ll ensure you get your little problem figured out. If you put my baby through the shit Anastasia’s going through… the shit my mother put me through?” He gave me a wide cheshire grin… he giggled oddly before shoving me back.

“Your wife will want to speak with you as well.” He said, walking out of the creek. “Sinan and I will be heading out to speak to the Shah of Irem, soon. Finish up, quickly.”

He walked away, magic seemingly pulling the water away from him as he threw his clothes over his back.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down before finally finishing my morning piss.

It was not pleasant holding it in through that, to be honest.

---

Princess Celestia lay in bed, reading from a tattered old journal, her horn bathing the yellowed pages in golden light. The cover, illuminated by the early morning sun, showed no distinct markings in the brown leather except for a name; Celestia… though the way it was written would appear strange to a modern pony.

It was, in her opinion, her last great Triumph before her power began to wane. Though that arch had long fallen somewhere within the Everfree, near the ruins of Old Canterlot, the burning pride still remained.

She remembered that day, standing on the edge of a high cloud. Luna had asked something along the lines of “Are you sure!?”

She remembered looking to her sister with a look of utter resolve in the face of great danger as she channeled her power, her horn straining harder than it ever did. Near the apex, she could barely scream out-

Alea… IACTA… EST!

Then her horn roared with solar fire as her internal Mana pool burned out of control below the surface like a fire in a coal seam. Blue sky gave way to a hole tearing across it, the starry void of blackened, dusty cosmos coloring the sky above the Dragon’s homeland.

Luna brought forth rocks, meteors, debris, and demons from the stars; Celestia writhed and screamed in pain, wishing in secret that the spell would fail and finally shatter her consciousness. Starswirl stood by her side, his magic working to ensure that wouldn’t happen- and in the end, it took both Luna and Starswirl to “turn off the gas” so to speak.

But like a coal-seam fire, it can only be contained so well. It’s been burning almost as fast as she could replenish; so despite having a decent sized magic pool left, it regenerates far too slowly to risk using too much at once. Her Ethereal Sphincter, located on a fourth-dimensional part of her horn, was stunted beyond repair- and despite the near-infinite capacity of her Mana pool, her remaining reserve could last approximately ten unicorn lifetimes in magic…

And for somepony like her, that was a mere drop in the bucket of black infinity.

“Good morning, Celestia!” Ann said cheerily as she knocked on the door. Celestia closed the journal and set it on her desk, sighing heavily.

“You may enter.” She said, greeting her doctor with a weary smile. “Good morning to you as well…” The exhaustion in her voice was evidently caused by a lack of restful sleep.

“Any luck tryin’ to sleep?” She asked, routinely putting the blood pressure cuff on her thin arm. The princess shook her head, and the doctor could feel sympathy. “May I ask why? I’d hate to assume, you know?” She mused, listening while focusing on the princesses vitals check.

She was squeezing the bulb on the blood pressure cuff as Celestia explained-

“I… I tried to sleep… but I couldn’t get that junk out of my mind.” She had a bitter expression on her face when she alluded to her old prescription. “Like a voice in my head telling me I couldn’t sleep without it; between that anxiety and heart palpitations, I decided to peruse my old journals.” She snorted and giggled- “Tell me Ann, how does that work? I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. What’s with that?”

Ann chuckled, holding a stethoscope to Celestia’s veins. “Those are cravings! They’re very normal, and will come and go with varying intensity.” The stethoscope was then pressed to her back. “Deep breaths, please!” Celestia did as she was told, taking several deep breaths in succession while Ann listened to her breathing. “But you know what? You’ve sort of already found a coping skill!”

Celestia blinked. “A what?” It was that moment Ann realized she’d have to get the princess up to speed on the modern mental health terminology. She clicked her tongue.

“Mind if I pull in a chair?” Celestia nodded, and the doctor hobbled out of the room, using her magic to bring in an armchair from her room. “I also brought a notebook, so you can take notes!” A pen was clicked and the spiral notebook floated to Celestia’s bed. The cheery mare hopped on her armchair, her curved spine supported by pillows that propped it up.

“Starting with terminology, cravings are… just that! Just like somepony might crave a specific food every now and again, recovering addicts like us get them for our Drug of Choice- or, DoC for short!” The rapid scribbling of a pen ceased not long after she paused to let Celestia catch up. “They’re usually triggered by familiar people, places, and things which you subconsciously associated with using. Last night, you started getting really intense cravings. Describe to me what you were doing at the time.”

Celestia just shrugged. “I was laying in bed at around… eight Pm, when all of a sudden, I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. I’d tell myself to stop thinking about it, but that just kept feeding into itself, I imagine. Hours of laying in bed drenched in icy sweat is what finally made me say, ‘toss it all!’.” She explained, Ann listened with a sympathetic look. “Though… though I suppose that self reflecting on my past helped take my mind off it for a while.”

Ann gave her a wide grin, clacking her hooves together.

“And that’s a coping skill!” She explained- “Coping skills are the tools we use to help deal with these feelings. What you practiced boils down to distraction; when you recognize a craving, you can force yourself to focus on something else- in broad strokes, of course.” Celestia scribbled away, glancing upward with a smile when she was caught up. “And you have to consider what triggered the craving- for instance, if you typically use at certain times of day, they’ll intensify around that period. Locations can set it off, too- For instance, I’ve recommended opium addicts to move someplace without a balcony, as that’s where they typically used.”

Celestia nodded along as she scribbled away; Ann hopped off her chair, putting her medical equipment back into the cart. “As your doctor, I’m giving you an assignment; anytime your cravings intensify, I want you to journal about it. What you were doing that led up to it, date and time, etcetera etcetera- and when you start recognizing your triggers, it’ll be easier to come up with more coping skills to counter them.” Her chair was neatly set into a non-dirty corner of the room, figuring she’d need it later. “Coping skills are a variety of tools for a variety of situations. For instance- every now and again, I get that urge to just say ‘heck with it!’ and write myself up a prescription. But then I’ll look up and read the side-effect list before thinking about how if I were using again, I wouldn’t be able to keep helping out other addicts!”

After a few moments of quiet introspection, Celestia nodded. “Very well.”

Ann gave her a wide grin. “I’ll bring your breakfast up, then. Seriously! Write it down!” She said, reiterating her assignment before shutting the door behind her.

Once her light breakfast of brown sugar oatmeal with toast and milk was dropped off and picked away at, Celestia got that odd feeling again- after all, she always took her morning dose after breakfast. She lay in bed, reminiscing about that wonderful feeling of alienation in her own body… when she suddenly had an epiphany.

She rose out of bed, beholding the piles of junk scattered about from her desperate search for a dose. She opened the curtains to let more natural sunlight in, using her telekinesis to slowly tidy her room, one drawer at a time.

---

The nearly ten hour drive of shame home was long, awkward, and preceded by something I could not take my mind off of. Before we left, Emmie decided to use his magic to check me for ticks, as a result of my dirt-nap.

I tried to avoid thinking about it too hard while I was driving, as the dubious nature of these roads required my full attention.

“Mamma?” Annie asked, and I hummed. “Can we pull over? I gotta go!” She’d been squirming in her seat for a while- and I sighed, because I asked her five minutes ago, along with several other points in the trip so far, if she needed me to pull over… you know, when we were on the non-muddy stretch of road, dried by the sun poking through the canopy gaps.

“Sure thing, just let us get to somewhere we can pull over.” I was looking for a spot where the road was a little wider to pull over, just in case anyone happened to be traveling.

“Hurry uuuup!” She whined, and I rolled my eyes.

AWOOOOGA! AWOOOOOGA!

The large klaxon bolted to the side door was activated by a plunger on a rack-and-pinion rather than electricity; and two honks was the signal to let the car guiding us back know we were pulling over.

In this case, it was more like the middle of the road. It was wide enough that maybe a carriage could try passing. Anastasia nearly tore her belt out as she darted out the passenger door, probably heading towards the nearby cluster of bushes for privacy.

I shut the car off, getting out to stretch my legs a little. I was back to thinking about that thing- Emmie standing next to me, using some magical scan or other to detect anything that shouldn’t be on or inside my body.

I was just looking ahead as he did it- but a chance look out of the corner of my eyes showed him looking peculiarly at my head. The look immediately swapped back to a more neutral one, and it was so subtle I almost didn’t notice. I figured he was looking at the louse, so I asked him-

“You find anything odd?” His reply is what has been nagging at me the most.

“Nothing at all, friend. You’re clean!” But surely the louse would’ve set him off? I don’t know, and I realize this is a non issue- so why did it bother me so much? Emmie’s always been a weird guy- I’m probably overthinking it.

It’s been a couple minutes- and now I was wondering what was taking Anastasia so long?

“Honey? Is everything alright?” I asked, making my way around the cluster of bushes- she stood tall, shaking terribly and staring straight ahead.

“P-Please… help… Mamma… please!” Her gaze never broke with whatever she was looking at, her voice barely perceptible as she begged for help under her breath.

“Anastasia- don’t move!” I commanded, shuddering in disgust as I beheld the creature; a fat, hairy spider, about the size of a cat stood leering at my daughter from about ten feet away. Its ginormous mandibles rubbed together, the sharp points dripping with God knows what and sounding like scraping wood. Even with the lack of pupils, one could see its eyes glaring hungrily at my daughter- my baby!

snap

The snap of the button keeping my gun in its holster made the thing rear back, Anastasia shouting in terror as its back legs left the ground.

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!

Four shots knocked it out of the air and onto its back, legs kicking and squirming-

BANG! BANG!

Two more shots caused the milky blue blood to spill out, its legs curling inwards as I rushed over to scoop my daughter up.

“It’s okay baby, Mamma’s here.” She cried hysterically into my shoulder, understandably terrified out of her mind and babbling away.

“HATE SPIDERS!” She’d cry, “I DUN WANNA SEE A SPIDER EVER AGAAAIN!”

“It’s okay, it can’t hurt you. Mamma’s got you.” I sniffled, tears running down my cheeks. “Mamma will protect you, it’s okay.” The adrenaline started fading, and the fact that I’d almost lost my daughter… my baby… Well, now I was the one struggling to keep it together. “I’ll never leave you, baby. Never, never…” I shuddered with every breath, clutching my baby in my arms like the first day I had her.

This procession went on for about twenty minutes- at some point our Zebra guides tried to rush us, but I told them to fuck off. The rest of the drive home was spent convincing Anastasia that spiders like that don’t live anywhere in Griffonia; any time the road evened out, I took a hand off the wheel and threw it around her back, leaning her into my side.

Poor baby- that fuckin thing appeared from behind the treeline as soon as she was done taking a leak. I’d heard about those spiders- they’re supposedly rare in this particular region… so just my fucking luck, we stumbled into one and now my poor baby’s traumatized.

Seeing the unmarked Griffonian zeppelin parked atop a large cargo ship was a beautiful sight indeed- Griffon workers simply took our luggage off the back of their cars and flew it up; Anastasia and I simply flew behind them, cresting the mountain of shipping containers which held the materials needed to begin construction of our docks. The zeppelin was just strapped down up top- so it was still full of fuel and ready to go.

Once inside, I wasted no time jumping on the couch, trying to catch my breath and lighting a cigarette. I popped the window open behind me, letting the cool ocean breeze fill the room.

“Fffuck…” I groaned to myself, puffing at my cigarette. “I gotta go on a friggin diet or something.”

“I'm gonna get somethin’ to eat!” Anastasia said, heading towards the kitchen. “You want something, Mamma?”

I took a deep breath, finally sitting up as our zeppelin lurched upward to begin the five day trip home. “Ehhh, just grab me a stick of pepperoni and a beer.” I said, leaning back and kicking my foot up; I took my wooden leg off, resting it on the side of the couch.

“O-Okay… I guess.” She muttered, disappearing into the kitchen. She soon brought back a sandwich, a stick of pepperoni, and a bottle of orange pop.

“Where’s my drink?” I asked her as she popped the cap on hers. She just shrugged, though-

“Didn’t see any.” She stared straight ahead, munching on her sandwich.

“Anastasia, for fu… Ugh!” I rolled my eyes, hopping on three legs to the kitchen- it turns out, it was in the bottom drawer the whole time. “Found it!” I giggled as I hopped back into the living room, a can of beer held under my wing.

Anastasia looked at me with a glare- I just gave her a smug grin, “It was in the bottom drawer, ya knucklehead!” I playfully ruffled her feathers before sitting back down. “Besides, what’s wrong with a couple drinks at night?” Her bottle opener, which double functioned as a can opener, was sitting on the end table- and when I reached over to grab it, she snatched it up and stuffed it in her pocket.

“That one’s mine. Get your own.” She hopped off the couch with a huff, grabbing her drink and leaving the crusts of her sandwich on the end table. She stomped towards her room angrily.

“Anastasia Grimfeather.” She’s smart enough to know I’m not fucking around when I bring the full name out, stopping where she stood. “First off, you don’t talk to me that way. Second, who the fuck bought you that again?” She stood there defiantly. “Anastasia. You were warned once. Don’t make me-”

“FINE!” She yanked it out of her pocket and threw it my way, skidding to a halt just in front of the couch; she slammed the door behind her. “I’M GOING TO BED!”

I rolled my eyes at her tantrum bending over with a groan to pick up the opener- the can opener was just a pointed piece of metal, meant to pierce a triangle shaped hole; one for drinking, the other to let air in.

“Ungrateful fuckin’ brat.” I muttered before I took a sip, sighing in content as I felt like I could finally relax. On the end table next to me was a decent stack of newspapers, left to help get me up to speed on current events.

My eyes shot open on the first headline and fucking stayed that way the whole time! Our pamphlet thing has been a roaring success; the Blueblood Dossier got a bunch of crazy fuckers so whiled up that they gave themselves a name and blew up his car. It was a pony-made car, somewhat resembling a more advanced take on Ben’s first design, almost like a natural evolution of it.

It blew as soon as the key was turned- the Ponies figured out carbombing! Not only that, but there’s been a large amount of roundups and investigations in the medical fields, after one of our dossiers revealed how easy it is for doctors to… well, you get the idea.

Even Celestia came out and gave a speech- in so many words, it can be boiled down to “Have some faith, we’re working on it!”

Lots of ponies are genuinely happy to hear Celestia might be getting back to Canterlot- a small minority of ponies, however, would not like that… particularly the crazies calling themselves the Brass Shoes…

Wonder where they got that from? They were Marksists, that was for sure. At some point I’d need to get into contact with their leader to see if I can strike up a deal… in other news, massive strikes are not likely to end in Crystalia any time soon, which could cause a rise in the cost of living; since so many cheap goods were manufactured in Crystalia under appalling safety standards and shit pay, Ponies may deal with shortages of some goods, and price hikes in others.

Boo-fucking-HOO!

The best part of this whole ordeal? The massive freighter heading towards the Zebra territories was barely a footnote in any of these papers.

As soon as I was done, I made my way to the minibar- this called for a celebration!

---

“AHHH! G’EM OFF!” Anastasia shouted, squirming around and swatting at nothing atop her bed. She’d dreamt that she was buried alive in spiders, feeling them writhe and skitter and biting all over; She slowly took the time to calm down, realizing she was still in her private zeppelin bedroom.

She got out of bed carefully, as the thin walls of this ship allowed the sound to travel- so all she had to do was follow the sound of her Mamma snoring. She crept through the doorway, peering out into the dark living room.

Her Mamma was laying on the couch, leaned back in the recliner. She inched closer.

“Mamma? I had a bad dream…” she muttered… finally noticing the half drank bottle of whiskey on the side counter. She scowled, tears filling her cried-out eyes as she climbed onto the couch.

She saw her mommy do this once- when Mamma was sleeping on her back, she rolled her onto her side- “In case she threw up.” It seemed important at the time, so Anastastia repeated the behavior, assuming it was because throw up tasted icky. In reality, it was so her mother wouldn’t drown in her own vomit.

She huffed, using her whole body weight to shove her Mamma on to her side; the snoring barely hitched as she flopped loosely onto her side, a couple empty cans rolling off the side.

Anastasia scoffed, stomping back to her room and slamming the door shut, laying awake and hoping her Mamma would be okay come morning. She was a smart girl, and she knew her mother would be fine- but she couldn’t ignore that nagging feeling.

“I just want my Mamma back…” Whoever that mean-ol’ drunk in the living room was, it was not the caring mother she once knew. And as long as she drank, that’d be the case.

---

Celestia walked down the hall of her mountain villa feeling better than she had in a long, long time. While a dull ache in her joints kept her movements slow and lethargic, the pain wasn’t nearly as unmanageable as it once felt. Despite still showing some of her ribcage, her fur was nicely cleaned and trimmed, and her pink mane was washed, combed, and styled plainly; of course, the emaciated aspect of her was harder to spot when she wore a long, pink bathrobe.

The past week has given her much time to think and reflect; not only that, but much time was spent cleaning her bedroom, rearranging much of the furniture into a different layout. For example- her bed was in front of the window, so to open the curtains, she only had to reach for them. The cravings still come and go- but journaling about them has helped tremendously.

Even at night she’s been busy; suggested by Ann and heavily encouraged by her sister in that letter she’d almost forgotten about, she was participating in ANEA (Addicts to Narcotics of Equestria Anonymous) meetings!

Sort of. They take place in a shared dream, of sorts; for privacy, Celestia can change her appearance to whatever she desires, granting genuine anonymity. She chose not to participate, however- just listening to the stories of fellow drug abusers granted much insight into the nature of the Disease.

All this to say- Ann had asked her to come to the dining room, without explaining why.

“PRINCESS CELESTIA!” She heard her number one student yell as soon as the door creaked open, barreling into her chest for a hug.

“Twilight!? What-” Luna was there, along with Cadence, Spike, and Ann.

“Give her some room, Twilight!” Luna said, and the purple mare glanced away sheepishly.

“Nonsense, nonsense!” She said, wrapping her student in a hug. “Hugs are good for the spirit!” She said, her mood feeling better than it had since… she couldn’t remember when!

Twilight sniffed. “I’m… I’m glad you’re okayyyy!” Celestia broke the hug, the two moving to take their seats.

“How many days?” Ann asked, and Celestia cocked an eyebrow. “Since…” Celestia gasped, her eyes widening in realization.

“Oh, uhm… Five days. That’s it.” She shrugged… but seeing the looks of joy, pride, and relief on the faces of her closest friends?

A feeling far greater than any high.

---

The trip had been long, and Anastasia seemed to grow more and more restless as time went on. Before, she was so excited about this trip, she wouldn’t stop asking about it; now, she can’t wait to get home. I don’t blame the kid- I’m in the same boat as her with my reluctance to go back- but why’s she gotta take it out on me?

In fact, the day we arrived, she left without me! I woke up, ship docked in its hangar wondering when the fuck we arrived. The guard in the hangar told me my car was parked outside, and that my wife already picked up Anastasia.

A note on the steering wheel.

We need to talk- DT.

In other news, I’d be sleeping on the couch tonight.

It was nice- being able to drive my own car on proper fucking roads.

At the house, Mamma was sitting on the couch with Anastasia; Ma got up to give me a hug and a kiss.

“She’s in your room.” She said, leaning into my ear. “Don’t mess this up.” was her only command; I rolled my eyes.

As I let myself in, I gave my wife a casual “Hey, honey!” as I approached for a hug- but felt a hoof press against my chest. I got the message- closing the door behind me. A small dial underneath the knob controlled how soundproof it was- and I set it to max.

“Sit.” Was all she said, pointing to one of the recliner chairs, sitting across from one another. “I can smell the whiskey on your breath. When did you last have a drink?”

“Again, always with this shit!” I threw my arms out in a huff, “Big fuckin deal, there was a sip left in the bottle when I woke up. Damn me for not wanting to be wasteful!?”

Sitting directly across from me, she leveled me a glare. “Once again, you have a problem that’s hurting those around you, and you’re too fucking stupid to see it!”

I scoffed, gesturing back to me- “Oh, I’m stupid now? Stupid and fat, right!? Is that what you’re telling people!?” She shook her head, rubbing her temple.

“It’s not a lie to say you need to lose weight. Damn me for wanting to make sure you don’t die of a heart attack at forty?” Her voice was icy and level, and it made my neck feathers stand. “Damn me for not wanting to stand by while you destroy your relationship with Anastasia?” My scowl grew, tears welling in my eyes. “Damn me for not wanting my baby to grow up around a selfish drunk!?” The baby bump was barely perceptible- but it was no doubt there.

“You act like it’s not Anastasia being difficult with me that’s the fuckin’ problem here!” I yelled, and my wifes face turned to a scowl.

“You think Anastasia’s the problem?” She scoffed, looking off to the side. “If I had half a mind, I’d leave you tonight! But if only I had some sense!”

I stood up out of my chair, refusing to hear this shit anymore. “You think I won’t fucking leave YOU!?” I yelled, fist clenching unconsciously as I got up in her face. “You think I wouldn’t drag you into the woods and huck you in a shallow grave?” I was seeing red, fury and rage filling every cell in my body. “You think I wouldn’t beat your fucking ass for saying that shit!?”

I glanced at my clenched fist momentarily.

THWACK

And because I hesitated, I didn’t even see my wifes right hook until I felt it, her solid hoof connecting with my left eye. I stumbled back, rage turning to fear and confusion as my entire body reeled.

She jumped out of her chair, shoving me back on my flanks, where she used her momentum to slam me onto the floor.

“I'M SORRY!” I cried, throwing my hands out in an attempt to defend myself.

“LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!” She screamed in my face, thrashing my shoulders to punctuate her words.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!” I cried for mercy and forgiveness; She jerked her hoof up, and it felt like my whole upper body flinched.

“YOU FAT FUCKING SKANK, LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME FUCKING DO!”

“PLEASE! I’D NEVER-” I paused mid sentence, a sob catching the words in my throat. “I-I’d never leave you! I’m sorryyyy!” hot tears poured down my face, my nose running- when I noticed she was crying, too- but she had a scowl on her face.

“Whatcha made me doooo…” She muttered to herself, breathing heavily. “Why did you make me need to do that?”

“I-I don’t know, I-” I stuttered out, and she scowled.

“Why do you make me so fucking upset, that you made me do the one thing I promised I’d never do?” I was burning with shame and guilt, hating how much of a piece of shit I was. “My dad would hit my mother, then my mother would take her frustration out on me.” Her voice was flat and icy, and I felt terrified. “You’re not gonna vent this on Anastasia, are you?” Her grip tightened, and I shook my head fiercely.

“Ne-never! No! I-I’d never hurt my baby!” I cried, squeezing my eyes shut to avoid her gaze. “I-I’ll quit! I’ll quit, for good this time!”

“Look at me.” I forced my eyes open to meet her gaze above me. “Don’t move.” I stood petrified to the ground, shaking as I lay staring at the ceiling.

She finally appeared in my field of view, a sawn-off lupara in her grip; it had a round foregrip near the front, and the trigger guard sawn off so she could shoot it. She broke it open-

Thunk. Thunk. Clack.

Loaded two shells in and snapped it shut.

“Swear on your life.” I shook harder than I ever have before as two ice-cold barrels were pressed into my neck. “SWEAR ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE! If you don’t quit, so help me, I will blow your fucking head off. They’ll never find you- never know-”

“I SWEAR!” I shouted, flinching as the gun was pressed harder. “I SWEAR ON MY LIFE! I’LL QUIT! I’LL QUIT!” The pressure was released, the shotgun set gently off to the side.

She wrapped her arms around me, face gently leaning into my chest.

“Thank you. I love you with all my heart, baby… I hate having to hurt you like this…” She choked back a sob, and I pet her mane.

“I-I love you too. I’m sorry. I-I’m so… so fucking sorry…” I mumbled between my own sobs.

Soon it had died down to mere whimpering… that’s when I realized just how… turned on I was.

“Honeeeyyy…” I muttered, red blush spreading across my face. “Are you-?” She glanced up, her cheeks being beet red as well.

“Yes.” She said abruptly. That’s all it took for clothes to start flying and biting to start.

---

Later that night, I was in my bathrobe dumping my last bottle of booze out into the sink. My eye was still considerably swollen from the accident, but I explained it off as “I tripped and fell into the corner of the bed frame because I was drunk.”

“Mamma? Are you drinking again?” Anastasia asked, walking into the kitchen. I just moved to the side so she could see the empty bottle draining into the sink.

The massive smile that grew on her face looked wonderful, and she ran to my side. I threw a wing around her back.

“I’m sorry, Anastasia. I haven’t been-”

“It’s alright, Mamma!” She hugged arm, “I forgive you!” I ruffled her feathers and kissed her forehead.

“Well, I’m down here. You want somethin’ to eat?” I asked, grabbing a bottle of cola out of the fridge. “Open this for me, wouldya?”

“Can I have a grilled cheese?” She asked, using her bottle opener to pop the cap for me. I nodded, patting on the nearby stool to tell her to take a seat.

“Sure thing, baby.” I got the pan and set it on the stove, getting the bread, cheese, and butter out. A pinch of garlic salt, and that’s how I made my grilled cheeses.

Don’t like it? Get outta my kitchen.

“Mamma?” Anastasia asked as I waited for the pan to heat up. “Did Mommy hit you?” A chill went up my spine when she asked that. “It just looks like you got punched in the face! I asked Gramma about it, and she almost grounded me!”

I forced myself to chuckle. “Anastasia, why would your mommy hit me?” She just shrugged, glancing off to the side.

“I-it’s just… if she ever hurt you-” She started, and I put a hand to her shoulder, giving her a disarming smile.

“Your mommy would never hit me. Don’t ever think that.”

What she wouldn’t find out wouldn’t hurt her, I suppose.

I have a discord server for this fic out now!! It'd be real cool if u joined :333

banan a

As always, thanks so much for reading! Likes and comments are greatly appreciated! :3