So, a funny story. As it turns out, having a piece of your beak chipped off? Fucking sucks. You're stuck wearing a special cast so it heals properly- it’s basically a mold that you have to wear on your beak all day to prevent it from growing in weird. Thankfully since I only shattered a piece of my upper beak, I just had to wear the mold on that beak… but I still hated it.

It was uncomfy and ugly as hell, it was too dull to chew properly with, and I had to take it off and constantly file off little nubs that would appear underneath and around it. I had to go for bi-weekly doctor's appointments so they could check to make sure it was healing right. And after all that work, all that bullshit?

IT’S DISCOLORED! It’s a slightly lighter gray than the rest of my beak- it was faint, but definitely noticeable. So in essence, I was stuck with a faintly lightning-bolt shaped scar on the left side of my beak with a seam in the middle; and I’ll be honest, I hate it.

But still- could’ve been worse. If the beak gets really damaged, it can’t grow back- meaning that you have to get prosthetics put in. And considering the fact that polymers aren’t really used in this world- wood and metal can only look so realistic.

Thankfully I’d gotten the cast removed permanently last week and given a clean bill of health by my physicians… but I’m still feeling the aftereffects of that concussion! Between the stress headaches I was getting before and the concussion exacerbating the problem, I’ve just started carrying aspirin around in my bag. Meanwhile, my tinnitus has been getting worse- but that’s understandable. When you’re around gunfire frequently, your ears won’t thank you in the long run.

But anyways, about the concussion- the doctors are telling me that there shouldn’t be any side effects from the concussion after this long- after all, it’s not like I suffer from them frequently enough to cause permanent harm. They say it’s all in my head and of course it is! My head hurts, it’s definitely in my head! But whatever- it is what it is.

In other news- it’s been ten months since my meeting with the King. As a puppet ruler, he was perfect. All the money essentially got laundered through him- after the funds left the bank, they kept no receipt of who it actually went to… or came from. Against my better judgment, I’m letting him and his staff (though, mostly his staff) to deal with overseeing the construction and operation of my factories. In fact, Ulysses and I have been making alternating tri-monthly trips to check the progress ourselves, and everything has been going wonderfully.

All I had to do to get the shit up and running was to send over blueprints for the various dies and lathes, manufacturing equipment, as well as material tolerance and quality standards… Uhm, the uh… Manuals of standard operation and troubleshooting. Even though we’ve barely started, we’ve already made so much progress.

Fertilia’s economy is booming… well, maybe not booming… but it’s definitely improving. If people are being employed, they’re being paid. If they’re being paid, they’re spending. If they’re spending, then someone else is getting paid in turn. And if that person gets paid enough, they can expand and possibly hire more people, who would then start getting paid. The bubble won’t grow forever, so that’s why I’m being cautious as to how much air I put in it. But when the coal starts flowing again is when the real fun will start. Manufacturing is the bread and butter of any industrialized society.

More industry leads to more output. More output leads to cheaper goods. And even higher output means you can make money on exporting surplus goods once you’re at capacity at your home market.

Bottom line is, the free market is easy to manipulate and the masses are sheep. Big surprise. I’m honestly surprised with how laissez-faire the Equestrian government is… then again, so were all early industrial nations. There’s some regulation- but they don’t expect the power of private corporations to surpass that of the crown, purely in an economic sense. They’re dead wrong.

In fact- I’ve only increased my monetary output in the past few months. The Grimfeather crime family, as I unofficially call it, has only grown in power ever since temperance movements bolstered their efforts. Again, an important temperance figure almost getting raped and left with a disfiguring injury caused the media to explode in outrage over it all. Never mind the fact that my assailant was completely sober- and an escaped convict, one which I’ve pissed off in the past. It’s no surprise to me that he wanted revenge… but I let the media carry on with their narrative.

Cities as far south as New Horseleans and cities as far west as Neighjing have banned the booze, the latter of which has caused me to gain social credit points. However, I also started bootlegging not long after, causing me to lose social credit points.

Wait. What?

Anyways, the conspiracy goes so deep that in Detrot, two of the rival gangs which have vied for dominance over that city for literal years didn’t even realize they were both on my payroll until I rolled into town and convinced their leadership to behave with the help of some of my associates- at the added bonus of some good tithe money.

Many of these gangs think they’re top cat- but they’re middle management at best. I’m at the top of this lucrative tree and many don’t even know my name. The few that do- still just call me Boss because they know damn well that my name is need-to-know only.

Since I’m trying to keep a low profile for now, pretty much all my orders and commands get passed down through Ulysses. It was nice, not having to do as much hands-on work for now. It’s safer that way, at least.

Speaking of safety- I now have more bodyguards on my payroll than ever- the Royal Guard, I call them. There’s about 20 of them on rotating shifts, and they’re all armed with pistols I custom made for them, along with cutlasses. But at this second- it was just Dee and I in the house.

It was an early morning weekend and I was in the bedroom, lamenting about my scarred beak in the dresser mirror.

“Come on, baby… it’s really not so bad.” My wife came up behind me and put a hoof around my back. She got up and whispered in my ear, “Makes you look big and tough… And you know how I feel about girls like that.”

“I know, but… but I’d rather feel pretty, not tough. Looking tough is what my outfit and general demeanor is for, you know?”

“Babe, you are pretty.” She said, giving me a quick smooch on my beak. “Why do you think I married you?” I just snorted at her with a sarcastic smirk.

“Because I indulge your depraved fetishes about dominating those perceived as being stronger than you?” She gave me a mock growl for that.

“Why I oughta just…” She waved her hoof in the air in a ‘menacing’ gesture before kissing me on the beak again. Despite my annoyance, I couldn’t help but smile. “See, you’re smiling!” she smooched me again on the beak… then after a few seconds she kissed me on the neck. I gasped aloud at the sudden sensation.

Blushing, I whined to her, “Baaaaabe! Isn’t it a bit too early for this- ah!” She did it again as I was speaking, the feathers on my neck standing straight up. “Stoooop!” She just giggled at my suffering.

“Leona, you literally have damn near half of the criminal underworld paying tribute to you out of fear, how are you this much of a subby bottom?” She asked- and to be fair, she did have a point.

“Yeah, well…” My mind was racing, trying to come back with a witty response. “You smell!” She gave me a fake gasp.

“Oh, that’s it!” She yelled, running up and wrapping her arms around me, burying her face in my feathers and kissing my neck, over and over.

“Ah- s-s-stop! Ah!” I was practically begging for mercy, struggling to stay standing. She finally pulled back and I sucked in a deep breath of air before rolling onto the floor and laying on my back. I gave her a dopey grin, kneading my hands and paws in the air. “Fine. You win. Claim your prize.” I said with a giggle.

She gave me a dark grin. “With pleasure.” She lowered her head down and started-

Knock, knock, knock.

“Fucks sakes.” I groaned in annoyance and Dee just laughed.

“I’ll get it. You go ahead- hop on the bed, get yourself comfortable.” She kissed me on the cheek, and how could I say no? I just laid down with a stupid grin on my face, thinking about how lucky I am to have her. Then I heard her yelling for me from the living room, and my grin fell immediately.

“Leona! You may wanna get out here!” I groaned in annoyance, feeling all sorts of hot and bothered.

“This better be fuckin’ important.” I grumbled as I made my way to the living room.

“I can assure you, it is pretty fuckin’ important.” I heard the deep, gruff voice of Ulysses, and it finally dawned on me that Oh shit, this may actually be important.

Come to think of it- I don’t think I ever described the guy. Lemme start with the obvious- he’s a scary motherfucker. He’s almost a head taller than I am and could probably deadlift me and my couch. He had a prosthetic lower beak, and for that reason he always has a gray bandanna covering it. He had light gray feathers and white fur- but almost always wore a bearskin coat covering almost everything except his wings. Completing his look was a black hat- round, with a flat top and wide brim. And rather than being armed with standard pistols- as my second in command, he get's something special. He carried four pistols, just like mine... only, they weren't pistols.

They were sawn-off shotguns. Muzzleloading, of course, and they're 12 gauges. He was... quite good in their use, though they were used extremely sparingly.

In the early days, he was a soldier- a well decorated one, at that. See, when things first started going to shit, Northumbria actually did declare war on the mountain dog clans… but failed spectacularly. He doesn’t talk about the war that much- but is still quite bitter over it. It cost him his left eye, half his beak, and his sobriety, and what did he have to show for it? Some medals. A shitty pension. When I tell you he’s been loyal from the beginning- I really do mean it.

In the living room he was sitting on the chair and Dee was sitting on the couch. He was taking a swig from a flask when I walked in. Not like I had any room to judge him for that, of course.

“What’s happenin’?” I asked, taking my seat next to my wife, wrapping a wing around her back.

“I’ve got good news and bad news.” He said, pulling a piece of paper out of his coat. “Good news is that our profits shot up in this last month, ever since we increased the capacity of our bootlegging operations. Speaking of which, Celestia’s Angels-” Which I should mention, are a bicycle riding gang based in Califoalnia- “wanted to know if they’d have your blessing to start moving opium.”

“Tell them I said no, and that answers final. And tell Freddy if he asks me that again, I’ll have him castrated.” He nodded in response.

“Figured as much. On to the bad news- there’s a problem that I don’t think any of us considered. You may wanna light up a cigarette for this one.”

I looked at him and blinked- then realized he was probably right. I lit one up and took a deep drag, taking care to blow the smoke away from my wife. “Alright, spill it, soldier boy.”

“Don’t call me that, Scarface.” I scowled at him and he just smirked. I rolled my eyes when I realized he was just fucking around and gestured for him to continue.

“So as you know, we’re funneling lots of gold into the Old Confederacy. Here’s the problem- only a small fraction of that money is actually making it back to Equestria.” Dee slowly put a hoof to her chin in thought.

“That… I can see the problem. Hmmm…” Dee mumbled, and my eyes widened in realization. OF COURSE! Equestria doesn’t use fiat currency! They can’t just fire up the money printers!

“So we’re running a risk of deflating the value of gold in mainland Equestria as we remove money from circulation and pumping it into the Confederacy!” Now I was scratching my chin- this was more of a predicament than I thought.

“And unless Equestria increases the rate at which coins are minted, it could throw the country into an economic recession!” Dee said, nervously rubbing her hooves together.

So here’s the problem. If there’s less gold overall in Equestria, the value of the bit will actually go up and the price of goods will get cheaper. Yayy, cheaper products for everyone! Woohoo!

No. Let me tell you why this is bad- cheaper products means that employees are being paid less, as businesses are naturally incentivized to keep their profit margins. Employees could face unemployment or be forced to take paycuts since employers are making less money. If people are making less money, they’re more frugal. This creates a domino effect where even more people lose their jobs just so businesses can stay afloat, etcetera etcetera.

While Equestria does mint new coins regularly, it’s at a relatively slow rate in order to ensure economic stability. You know- to compensate for things like exports, old money being lost, stuff like that. But it’s not nearly enough for how much I’ve been sending out.

“At my estimations,” Ulysses said, “Approximately 5 percent of all Equestrian bits will have been funneled into the Confederacy at the end of the agreed upon two years. Not a lot, by any means- but it’s nothing to shake a stick at. And that’s not even considering our current rate of expansion.” I took a deep drag from my cigarette and responded,

“So then we gotta come up with a contingency. If things start getting noticeably difficult, we’ll have the Crown clapping all our cheeks. Hell, I’m pretty sure Twilight’s on to us already.” Ulysses nodded in response.

“Oh, fuck…” Dee muttered. She reached under a book on the coffee table and pulled out two tickets. “I forgot to mention- Twilight sent us tickets for this summer’s Gala. I just got them yesterday.” I felt a bead of sweat rolling down my brow at this.

“The gala? As in, the Grand Galloping Gala?” Oh fuck. “What… did she ever say why?”

She shrugged in response. “No, they just showed up in the mail addressed to the two of us. Nothing about this sounds like good news.”

“You’re telling me. I don’t like this, not one bit… What if we just didn’t go?” I asked, and Dee shook her head.

“Not a good idea, unless you want to really draw the Crown’s eye, along with the media. If we don’t show up, they’re gonna want to know why. The question is- is this just a friendly invitation? Or is it something else?” She said, setting the tickets off to the side. “Your Mamma has always been friends with Twilight. Perhaps this has something to do with her?” Dee asked, and she had a point.

“... I’ll have to talk to Mamma about it, see what she thinks or if she knows anything… Until then, contingency.” I turned to Ulysses- “Pass the word to all the Confederate Loyalists that if something happens to Dee or I, then flee across the ocean to the Confederacy. From there, meet us in our base of operations in Featherworth.” The loyalists were a decently sized group of my most loyal griffons who know of my cause and support it directly. Many of them are actually my Royal Guard- and in fact, I’m planning on making them the first members of my shock troops.

“Understood, boss.” Ulysses smiled and nodded.

“You’re dismissed. I appreciate your help.” I flashed him a quick smile and he made his leave. I then sighed, slumping back onto my couch. “This… could get really bad, Dee.” I said to her, and she gave me a somber look.

“At least we have each other, right?” She smirked, pulling me in for a hug. “We’ll make it through this, baby.” She kissed me on the beak and I smiled.

“You’re right. As long as we don’t act guilty, what does she have on either one of us? As long as we don’t bite off more than we can chew, we can’t choke.” Dee giggled, looking at me with a smile and a certain look in her eyes.

“Speaking of choking… where were we earlier?”

In retrospect, looking back… I really, really jinxed that one.

Dun-Dun-Duuuuun! The plot thickens! Leona's scheme has had some unintended side effects... and I wonder why Twilight wants them at the gala?

Does anyone else find the fact that Leona is the more submissive one in the relationship kinda funny in an ironic sense or is that just me? At the very least, I think it's cute :P

I also got around to making a mockup of a map of the Confederacy

Also- tax evasion is pretty based :3

One more thing... I'm hella curious. In the stats of this fic, one of the referrals came from facebook, apparently. Who the heck found a link to this story on facebook lmfao

As always, thank you for reading! Likes and comments are greatly appreciated :3