I think it was about noon-ish when I finally woke up. My wings were sore as hell and I still felt greasy- so I decided to delay my plans even further. I was overall feeling like a give-no-fucks mood today, and the fact that I was eating cold ravioli straight from the can was pretty indicitive of that… especially since I didn’t have a proper fork. I was considering putting some raviolis in my pocket for later use, but ultimately decided against it.

After all- my coat was still filthy from yesterday's debacle. And, you know- carrying ravioli in your pocket is stupid.

After my mid-afternoon breakfast and a quick shower, I packed away my dirty coat/capelet combo and swapped it out for a fresh one. Checking the time, I realized my appointment with that banker was in about two hours; so I headed down to the docks to make sure those bozos didn’t hit an iceberg or something.

I’ll be honest- this place was kinda pretty during the day. It had a clean, white marble aesthetic that looked straight out of ancient Greece, but more… jungle-y. Instead of olives, the minotaurs subsisted off tropical fruits and special grain which only grows in the jungles. Meanwhile, the streets were full of toga-wearing minotaurs, and I stood out heavily in such a place- with my black garb and… feathers, coupled with the fact that I was a different species entirely, it made doing greasy stuff a near impossibility.

At least, in any sort of non-clandestine manner. Don’t get me wrong- what I was doing was greasy as hell, but I had all the forgeries and bullshit to make me look legitimate.

At the docks, large, bulky minotaurs were unloading goods and storing them in warehouses. I made my way to the foreman's office, documents in hand. A young, rough looking minotaur sat behind the foreman's desk, and a nearby maid was pouring him a glass of banana wine.

“Good day, miss!” He said in an oddly nasally voice. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” I took my seat and slid a document his way.

“I’m here on behalf of Mr. Green Clover, who is currently shipping… potatoes across the seas to assist in the relief efforts.” I wiggled my eyebrow at him with a smarmy look. “It should have already arrived on the SS… whatever the fuck it’s called.” Quite frankly, I didn’t bother putting on a show. Sleazy fucks like me are constantly bringing in suspicious amounts of gold- it was just biz at this point.

“Hmmm… everything seems in order… only, there is our shipping fee.” He gave me a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

“In every shipment will be a container labeled as onions buried in the cargo. That’ll be your cut.” I grabbed a pen and wrote down a number on a piece of paper, sliding it over to him.

“Deal.” He said instantly upon seeing the number. He held out his hand and I shook it.

“And of course, I’ll be getting monthly receipts from the bank. If I’m shorted a single bit…” I whipped out my dagger and held the point to his neck. “There will be hell. To. Pay. Capische?” he merely giggled at me.

“Come on, Miss…” he looked at the document I slid to him, looking for the pseudonym I was operating under, “Lovecraft-” I am SO original. “What kind of reputation would I have if I ripped off my loyal customers? Rest assured- not a single bit will go missing. I may be sleazy, but I’m not a con-artist, you know?” I didn’t feel very assured, but that was natural, considering the sheer volume of loot I would be shipping over.

“Thank you very much. Everything you need to know is in that document.” I said, making my leave. “Get the first shipment ready.”

“A pleasure doing business with you!” He said as he guided his maids head down below his desk. I took that as my cue to get the fuck out.

Next stop- Labyrintho Bank. The place was fucking huge! From what I’ve read about the place, the loot is all locked up tight in underground vaults in a massive complex which runs directly underneath the bank itself. Apparently, it’s a literal labyrinth, and only a few select minotaurs actually have the map.

The front desk teller gave me an odd look when I walked through the door. “I have an upcoming appointment with Mr. Daedalus.” She looked down, shuffling through paperwork before smiling and nodding. Ugh… I swear, half my life is in fucking paperwork nowadays.

“If you don’t mind waiting for a bit, I’ll call you up as soon as he’s ready.” I nodded, making my way to one of the waiting couches.

I couldn’t help but sigh. I was already starting to miss my wife and I haven’t even been at this for two weeks yet. Fuck. And I still had so much more shit to do!

Fuck it, I can’t even be bothered to write the whole bank encounter down. I have another headache, but the only thing you need to know is the fact that I left with some documents and a fat checkbook. I wonder if the headaches are from stress? They’re definitely a recent, if annoying development.

Ugh. Whatever.

---

Once again, I was on a boat- but this time, I was heading towards the port city of Garum, located in Catlus. From there, I would take one of the few remaining train lines to the capitol to get the king's permission to start digging up the coastal guano islands.

Yes, they’re exactly what it sounds like. Islands which birds have inhabited and flown over for so long, that the ground is quite literally made from piled on birdshit. The plan is to have workers here dig it up and manufacture the saltpeter- due to the lack of heavy machinery, I won’t need to rely on a river to power the whole operation. Not to mention- less automation means more labor requirements, which I’m hoping will stimulate the local economy.

Anyways- if the Minotaurs stuck to a Greek theme, then Catlus was more romanesque. I won’t lie- it was quite uneventful. The capital city of Emor looked like ancient Rome and it even had a colosseum. Well- ancient Rome approximately five minutes before it fell.

The meeting with the king went well enough, I suppose. At this point, he was more than happy to host any business which would bring more jobs to his kingdom. Of course, Catlus would hardly be the highlight of my trip.

No, that would be my trip home; not to Ponyville, or even Manehattan.

I would be heading back to Featherworth for the first time in… years! So much time has passed, but it still feels like just last week Mamma and I were making the long trek northwest through Nalot. When I saw those massive stone walls again, I was overcome with sheer joy and wonder. Just walking these old, dirty cobblestone streets made me feel choked up.

With my bag and suitcase under my wings, I knew exactly where I was going. While I couldn’t remember the house number or the street name, I knew its location off by heart- if it was still standing, that is. I hoped and prayed that it was.

The neighborhood I was born in had been reduced to an utter slum. Lawns were overgrown, houses were collapsing and some were burnt out… shit, it felt like I was in the projects. I made sure at least one of my guns was cocked- just in case.

My beak trembled as I beheld my childhood home. While the willow out front had died long ago, the roof collapsed over one of the rooms, the windows were all broken, and the door hung on a single hinge… it was undoubtedly home. My home. The mailbox was proof of it- despite the rust, one could just barely make out the old inscription- Grimfeather. Not to mention- on one of the many boards which made up the front porch there was a name, long ago scrawled into the wood by a claw.

LEONA

I couldn’t help but sniffle as the memories came rushing back in great waves of nostalgia.

---

“Mamma!” I yelled, running up to her and wrapping her in a hug. I was six years old at the time, I think. In fact- it was my birthday just a few days prior. I’d been waiting excitedly on the porch for her to come home all day. That was when I decided to scrawl my name on one of the boards- after all, I thought that home would be more permanent than what it turned out to be. The reason I was so excited was because my birthday gift got delayed- and Mamma was bringing it home from the tailors- though I didn’t know it at the time.

“What is it? What is it!?” I was practically running around in circles, feeling so damn excited! I saw the gift wrapped box on her back- it was relatively flat and small, but that didn’t curb my excitement one bit.

She giggled, saying “Calm down, sweetie, I just got home!” I blushed slightly, realizing that yeah, she was right. She wrapped a wing around me and we both walked inside.

“Where’s Gramma at?” She asked, and I just cocked an eyebrow at her. “I should’ve guessed.” She sighed in annoyance, and we both took our seats on the couch. She then looked at me and smiled. “Happy birthday, Leona!” She nuzzled my forehead and handed me my gift. I jumped down off the couch and tore into the paper like a wild animal!

I opened the white box inside and gasped! It was a cloak- the same one which I wore damn near every day until I outgrew it. Pure black, with golden hemwork. Inside the collar was embroidered with my name, followed by Best Daughter Ever!

“Try it on!” Mamma said as the thing was already half-slung around my back. I did the collar and noticed it felt a bit loose- but I knew I’d grow into it. Little me ran to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror.

It was that moment that determined my fashion sense for the rest of my life. I loved it! It had pockets and everything, it was light and flowy…

“That looks so good on you!” Mamma said as she walked in behind me. I was making faces at myself and stopped to giggle. “Who’s my stylish little hen?” She picked me up and wrapped me in a hug, which I reciprocated.

“You’re the best, Mamma!”

---

I still had that little cloak somewhere. Hell, sometimes I still wear the thing over my coat, kind of like a capelet.

I opened the door slowly, and the hinge finally gave out, the door itself falling impotently to the ground. I walked inside and beheld our empty living room and set my bags to the side, pulling out a pistol.

“If there’s anyone in here, I’m just visiting and I’m not afraid to kill.” I yelled out loud, checking all the rooms to determine if they were clear. After walking all through the house once, I determined that aside from a few rats and roaches, it was empty. I let out a sigh and leaned against the back wall in the main room.

“So many memories here…”

---

It was late at night, and I couldn’t help but yawn. I sat on the couch next to Mamma while she was finishing up homework. I was still quite young at the time- only two years old or so. Hell, I was still in nightime diapers at the time- and I’m still not sure why. I mainly chalk that up to my forgetful baby brain- as some nights, I just would straight up forget to use the bathroom before going to sleep, as humiliating as it was to admit.

Those days were quite weird in retrospect- it’s like an adult's mind was put in a child's brain. So rather than the jaded and bitter Trinity, I was the young and innocent… “innocent” Leona. I have to wonder if it was a psychological thing- I was living the childhood I missed out on the first time around with a caring mother, and my brain was acting accordingly.

I don’t know- I’m not a psychologist, and I refuse to see a therapist because I’d rather not get locked up in a madhouse.

“Mamma, is it bedtime yet?” I was quite tired- I’d spent all day battling in an ultraviolent gang war between my plushies and dollies! The bear crime family, led by Theodore “Big Ted” Mancini of Couch City had been encroaching on the territory of the Shag Carpet Gang. They were a loose band of hoodlums, but their leader was widely considered to be Molly McElroy- a ruthless killer and the daughter of some poor potato farmers.

The battle was long and difficult- but had to be put on hold, because I was feeling sleepy after dinner.

“Almost done, sweetie.” she said, jotting down notes on her paper. She giggled, saying “I bet you had lotsa fun today, huh?”

I merely hummed, deciding to lean into Mamma and rest my eyes for a little bit. I could’ve gone upstairs and went to bed by myself- but it felt oddly nerve-wracking knowing Mamma wasn’t there with me. It’s not like I was afraid of the dark, or some monster under the bed- it just felt wrong to me. Perhaps it’s some sort of a manifestation of a fear of abandonment? Hell if I know.

I only intended to rest my eyes- but imagine my surprise when I teleported up to my room!

… Okay, I know it was Mamma that brought me upstairs and tucked me in while I was asleep- but it still shocked me for just a moment before I realized what happened. Look, I’m a slow thinker when it’s early in the morning. And for the record, I did not wet the bed that night!

Honest!

---

I giggled at the memory. I mean, can you really blame me for being so childish at the time? My childhood as a human was… well, it was shit. Father blew his brains out when I was five and Mother was always so cold and distant with me.

She would tell me how it was all my fault that he was gone- and I believed her at the time because I didn’t know any better! She told me that I was ugly, and that no one would ever love me for who I am. She said that I would amount to nothing and made me feel like I was worthless, and one day she just abandoned me without a single warning!

I grit my beak- but then shook those thoughts away. I walked up the stairs and saw something that made me giggle. Written in permanent marker on the wall were several lines- and though they were faded, you could still make out the age indicators. Every year on my birthday, up until I was eight, we would mark my progress to see how much I’ve grown in the past year.

I looked into our old shared bedroom, seeing that it was indeed empty. There were marks on the floor where our beds were, and looking in the spot where Mamma’s bed was, I remembered something funny that happened here once.

---

I was 7 or so years old by then. Mamma had been at school all day and I was just playing with my toys when I noticed something… unusual. Underneath Mamma’s mattress, something was just barely sticking out.

Naturally, curiosity got the better of me. Lifting the mattress slightly, I retrieved my prize. It was a cheap pulp magazine titled Red Rocket- For Adults Only! Of course, I knew how sex worked. The existence of genitalia was hardly new to me, and I knew damn well where babies came from. But I do admit, I was mighty curious as to what the male counterpart looked like.

With a devious grin on my face, I opened the magazine and let the centerfold fall out- and immediately scoffed in disgust.

“Ewwwww!” Despite the feeling of revulsion, I couldn’t look away. “God, why is it so red? And… are those barbs!? Gross!”

Unfortunately, I didn’t think to check the time before I went… exploring.

“Leona, I’m ho-ooo, AAAH!” She yelled, ripping the magazine from my hands and hastily shoving it back under the mattress where it came from. She looked utterly mortified- her face was beet red and her tail was puffed out like a cats. I couldn’t help but laugh heartily. “You weren’t supposed to see that!” she whined out.

“Come on, I was just curious!” I said, my laughter slowing to a giggle. “And besides, I know how sex and reproduction works. I’ve read about it in books.” She blinked at me then sighed, her face still quite red.

“I sometimes forget how intelligent you are, Leona…” She muttered, then turned to me with a pleading look in her eyes. “L-look, just… just don’t tell Gramma, alright?”

A devious grin spread across my face and Mamma began to sweat. “Oh, I dunno… You know how I just let things slip, sometimes. Perhaps some ice cream will ensure my silence?” Mamma groaned in annoyance.

“Fffffine. Fine, I’ll get you ice cream, just…” She grabbed my hand, “Please don’t tell Gramma I have those magazines.” My smile widened even more.

“You mean there’s more?” Mamma facepalmed and rubbed her temple.

“I’m really being blackmailed by my own daughter… Look, if you keep your beak shut about this, I’ll let you eat all the ice cream you want.”

“Deal.” I said, shaking her hand. She sighed in annoyance.

“Some day you’ll start going into heat, then you’ll understand.” She muttered as I hopped onto her back.

The ice cream parlor thankfully wasn’t that busy- and I immediately got to work. I ate a large banana split, a double chocolate fudge milkshake, and a pint of strawberry ice cream!

And of course- I regretted it soon after. I was sitting atop Mamma’s back, groaning in pain from the awful, awful tummy ache I had.

“Ohh, it huuuurts…” I mumbled as Mamma carried me home. She laughed at my suffering.

“I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson today.” I snorted.

“Yes, I have, Mamma.” She smirked at me.

“Good.”

“Yeah. I learned that griffon dicks are weird as heck!” She facepalmed hard and I laughed at her expense.

---

Heh. Those really were the days. It’s ironic how my mother on earth and my Mamma are polar opposites. If I tried to pull something like that with my mother, she would have yanked my pants down, threw me over her knee and beat me with a belt, all without hesitation.

“Oh, for fucks sakes…” I mumbled, gritting my beak. Why can’t I just remember something happy without thinking of my mother? I groaned in annoyance but ultimately grew a faint smile.

The roof had collapsed over Gramma’s room- so there was nothing to see there. I decided to head back down stairs and about halfway down, I heard a loud creeeeak! The board I stepped on snapped and I was barely able to keep myself from falling. My arm had been scraped slightly by the rough wood, but I was ultimately fine.

Wouldn’t have been the first time I fell down these stairs.

---

It was early in the morning, and I was about… four? Probably around that age. It was the weekend, so I intended to sleep in- but I just needed to get a quick drink of water. Somehow, in my tiredness, I’d missed the first step. My eyes shot open- and down I went.

Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Smack! I’d rolled down the steps like a tumbleweed, and when I hit the bottom I landed directly onto my face.

I sniffled, my eyes stinging with tears. I sucked in a deep breath-

“MAMMA!” I yelled, literally bawling my eyes out. I rubbed my beak- it hurt so bad! Is it broken? It must be broken! I’m gonna be a deformed freak for the rest of my life! She came rushing down the stairs, almost falling down herself as she scooped me up in her arms and held me close.

“Ohhh, baby… you’re alright, Mamma’s got you.” My crying began to soften as I buried my face in her soft, warm feathers. “Do you want some ice to put on it?” She asked. I nodded slowly and she set me on her back, where I buried my face in her head feathers.

She set me on one of the dining room chairs and grabbed an ice pack for me. She started moving some of the feathers on my forehead out of the way and giggled.

“It’s just bruised, baby. You’ll be fine in a couple days.” I held the ice pack to my forehead and she nuzzled my beak. Already, I felt much better… though my forehead still throbbed.

---

I was lucky to have her.

While I was enjoying the nostalgia trip- I just had one more thing to attend to before heading home. That is- a meeting with the King of Fertilia.

After a quick cigarette break, I made my way to the castle in the center of the city. I decided to fly there because quite frankly, I didn’t want to know how bad things really were here. At the front gate of the castle were large groups of angry protestors. People were getting fed up- and I would be their salvation.

They just didn’t know it yet.

The guards there tensed up when I approached them- but relaxed when I handed them the document saying that yes, I was granted access. They opened the gate and one of them guided me to the throne room.

The king was a decrepit old man- he was weak, pathetic, really. People this old should not be in charge, under any circumstances. If only America could learn that lesson.

Wait. What?

I approached Joe Biden King Grover the 14th and bowed respectfully. No matter how much I hated it, I had to get into his good graces.

“Your Majesty. I come bearing an offer- one which cannot be refused.” He snorted at me.

“You’ve got guts, speaking to me like that.” I gave him a smug grin.

“Let’s get to the point. I’ve invented a weapon which would grant us Griffons total supremacy over the Diamond Dog menace.” I said, unpacking my rifle. It was a simple design- though this prototype model was made of hand-fitted parts like my pistols, it was created with manufacture efficiency in mind. They would be made on assembly lines using interchangeable parts eventually, but until then, this would suffice.

It fired a .69 caliber minie ball. I loaded it- powder, wad, ball, and tamped it down. It was a bit awkward due to the sheer length of it, but by hovering I was able to load it easily. I used the same priming device as the one I used for my pistols to prime it, and it was ready to fire within 15 seconds.

“It fires a lead ball at bone-shattering speeds. Not only that- but it has the added bonus of being terrifyingly loud- and can even penetrate armor.” The king looked at me for a few seconds- then laughed heartily.

“Penetrate armor? Really?” He said in between peals of laughter. He looked over to the guard next to his throne. “Prove it. Show me this armor penetrating lead.”

BANG!

A thick cloud of sulfur-smelling smoke filled the air and the guard next to the throne crumpled to the ground, screaming. He held a hand impotently to his chest as the blood poured out.

“My plan is simple, your Majesty.” I said, packing the rifle away and resolving to clean it later. The king looked at me, now that I had his full attention. “I’m gonna set up factories all around Featherworth to manufacture these weapons of war, as well as many other things I need. I’ll be using the rivers to power them.” I explained. Other guards started dragging the dying one away as I continued, “The idea is that by creating jobs, I will be able to drag this nation out of its economic depression. I then plan on leading the war effort to subjugate the beasts.”

The king leaned back on the throne, scratching his chin. “While this all seems promising… where on Equus do you plan on getting the money for such an endeavor?” I smirked at him, pulling out my most recent bank statement. He read the document over, still seeming unsure.

“That’s monthly, by the way.” His eyes shot open. Moneytalks. “I estimate that within two years, everything I need to get started will be up and running.” I held out my hand, and he wasted no time in shaking it.

We then spent the next while discussing details- how I was gonna send over trusted individuals to help run my factories, how he would begin training his guards and soldiers in musketry tactics, that sort of stuff.

Bottom line is- I had all the puzzle pieces in order- I just needed to put them together.

That done- it was time to go home, finally.

Instead of walking like I did the first time around, I simply took a train to Beaksmouth, where I then took a much smaller ship across the ocean. Hopefully, the ship wouldn’t sink this time. I did not wanna be worn out by the time I got back to Manehattan- after all, I had a woman to please.

I’d been on this trip for about a month and had enough. Once I got off the boat, it was late at night, but I didn’t care. It was a beautiful night and I was feeling lazy, so I decided to just walk home.

As it turns out- that was a bad move. You see, there’s something I forgot to take into account.

I’d made lots of enemies in my line of work.

I was walking down a quiet street. I’d heard movement behind me, but before I could react, a round wooden cudgel banged me on the back of the head.

“OW! YOU FUCK!” I turned around and attempted to draw my pistol, only to get thunked on the temple. I dropped the bags I carried under my wings, feeling dizzy.

CONK! Right to the underside of my chin, and I was knocked onto my back. My vision was spinning, but I was finally able to get a good look at my assailant.

He was a griffon- rough and ugly looking- and most strikingly, a large scar on his chest, which was surrounded by burned tissue.

“I sure learned my lesson, didn’t I?” He bashed me on the head again, and I was seeing double. He dragged me into the nearby alley where I began to struggle meekly. “What are the odds of me running into you again after all these years?” The fucker said. He pinned me down by my wrists and I glared at him.

SWISH! I shot my tongue out and it missed his head. He looked at me in disgust as I slurped it back in.

“What the fuck was that?” He yelled, bringing the cudgel down to my beak.

CRACK! That fucker broke the tip of my beak off! “ATH-HOLE!” I spit the chunk of keratin out of my beak, tears running down my face. He smirked at me.

“I've waited far, far too long for this.” He gave me a sultry grin and I growled at him.

“Try me, bitch!” I'll be honest- I was afraid; but I wasn't gonna give this fucker the satisfaction. It was dark, but I still saw the thing in between his legs. I began to squirm, trying to use my back legs to kick him off.

“Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this, bitch.” I was seeing red as he shoved my legs out of the way and brought himself down- and finally, I was able to focus for a moment.

SWISH! This time instead of trying to stab him with it, I wrapped it around his neck. I lifted him up slightly and he began to struggle- so I threw him to the side, hard. He hit his head against a nearby brick wall and I rolled over and hopped up to my feet. The sudden impact left him stunned slightly and his eyes shot open in fear when I stood over him, glaring at him with my tongue pointing towards his face.

“No, no do-” squelch! The parasite went directly into his eye and began to feed. As it did that, I drew both of my pistols.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

I slurped my tongue up and with several deep breaths, I drew my other pistols- this time, I clicked the funny switch.

BA-BANG! BA-BANG! The recoil was intense, the boom deafening. Both my ears were ringing and my would-be rapist was bleeding from several wounds. My heart was racing and I spat on his corpse.

“What’s going on here!?” A guard ran towards the alley I was frozen in and gasped at the scene. I was shaking terribly in rage, trying to keep it together when she pointed her horn up into the air, sending up a flare and signaling for help.

“Don’t worry, Ma’am. Help is on the way.” I took in several deep breaths, calming down as the adrenaline left my system.

Eventually I was carted off in an ambulance, the paramedics taking the missing chunk of my beak with them. I passed out eventually- but that was probably from a concussion.

That... could've gone better. One thing's for certain- I needed to up my security.

Turns out, Leona's not as invincible as she thought, huh? Well, at least she got to go home for a bit. Still- it's always something, you know?

At least she has family that cares about her.

As always- thank you for reading. Likes and comments are always greatly appreciated!