[Authors Note - That feel when you can't download the Medal of Honor multiplayer demo for some reason.]

"Lawl I'll call you later." Spiderman said with his fingers crossed as he rolled out of Rarity's bed.

"But I never gave you my number." Rarity pointed out, sitting up in her bed.

"I don't give a fuck lawl." our hero said, before jumping out the nearest window. As Spiderman plummeted from the second floor of the Carousel Boutique, he extended his right arm out and shot a long stream of web out of it. The web shot across the street and attached to a building across the street, allowing our hero to swing down to the street below safely. This little show of epicness elicited cheers of excitement from anyone that witnessed it.

"Woo hoo!" a gray horse with wings and really fucked up eyes cheered, before falling over clumsily.

"Lol you stupid or something?" our hero asked the mare with the fucked up eyes.

"No, I have a disorder known as-"

"I don't give a fuck." Spiderman said, before swinging away.

"Oh... okay then!" the fucked up mare said.

As Spiderman swung away from the boutique, he heard someone calling after him. He looked down and spotted Lyra down below him.

"Spiderman! Get down here!" she called to our hero. Spiderman shrugged and cut his web, sending him plummeting to the ground below. He tucked and rolled safely in front of the mint colored horse.

"Hey Spiderman." Lyra chirped happily, beaming at our hero.

"Hay." Spiderman responded, jumping up to his feet and dusting off his Spidey outfit.

"What's up?" Lyra asked.

"Not much. Busy not giving a fuck. I was going to go find purple erection and go fuck with her." our hero responded.

"Don't you mean Twilight?" Lyra inquired.

"I guess lawl." Spiderman said, "wanna cum?"

"Would I!" Lyra exclaimed, squeeing happily.

Twilight was reading a book on the ancient history of the alicorns when there was a loud knock at the door.

"I wonder who that could be..." Twilight said to herself, looking at her watch. It was still very early in the morning. She shrugged and made her way over to the door, but upon opening it, Twilight came face to face with our hero, Spiderman.

"Hay." he greeted.

"Ahhh!" she screeched in surprise.

"Why are you so surprised?" Spiderman asked, "you know I drop by every Friday afternoon."

"But... today's Saturday, and you arrived in Ponyville just yesterday!" Twilight pointed out.

"Lawl I don't give a fuck." Spiderman said, earning a facehoof from Twilight Sparkle.

"Ugh... do you want to come in or something?" Twilight asked.

"I go where ever I please, purple." our hero said, pushing aside Twilight and walking inside the library, followed closely by Lyra.

"Hi Twilight!" Lyra chirped happily, waving at her as she walked past her.

"Hi Ly- SPIDERMAN WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Twilight demanded.

"Hold on," Spiderman said as he squat over the book Twilight was reading, "I'm taking a shit."

Twilight watched in horror as a long solid mass of feces fell out of our heroes asshole and plopped on the book.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Twilight screeched in horror.

"That'll be twenty-four bits." Spiderman said, extended his palm out towards the purple horse.

"But you took a dump on my book..." Twilight pointed out.

Spiderman ignored her. "Well... pay the Spiderman!" he ordered.

Twilight sighed. "Will you leave if I pay you?" she asked.

"Yeah lawl." Spiderman answered. Reluctantly, Twilight picked up her purse with her telekinesis and levitated it over to her. Before she could even blink, Spiderman reached his hand inside of her purse and fished out a handful of bits.

"Kthnxbai." Spiderman said as he jumped out the nearest window. Twilight growled (yes, she literally growled from pure frustration and anger) and glanced over at Lyra. She stood there for a couple seconds, smiling sheepishly, before sprinting out of the library, leaving behind a small cloud of dust.

"Ugh... what's that smell?!" Spike demanded, as he made his way down the stairs. He looked around the room, then glanced at the shattered window, and then saw the history book that was covered in shit. "Twilight! What the buck?! Have you been snorting sugar with Pinkie Pie again?"

Twilight groaned and facehoofed. "I'm going out, okay Spike? Clean this up, will ya?"

"Sure thing, master." Spike said sarcastically, before making his way back upstairs to fetch his cleaning supplies. Twilight sighed and fitted her saddle bag onto her flanks, shoving her purse inside of one of the saddle bags many compartments, and making her way outside, slamming the door as hard as she could behind her.